


A Love That Moves The Sun And Stars

by StarFromPhoenix



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Hurt Elio, M/M, Regretful Oliver
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-30 02:50:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 104
Words: 265,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15087383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarFromPhoenix/pseuds/StarFromPhoenix
Summary: It’s December 1988 and Oliver is a married father of two teaching Philosophy at UCLA, the memory of a summer from five years ago still in the back of his mind. He thinks he has it all under control until fate steps in and turns his life upside down.Please don’t repost my work without my permission :)I don’t own these characters, they own me :)This is a work in progress! All comments are welcome <3





	1. Fate

_December 2, 1988_

Maybe it was a cruel joke life was playing on me. Maybe it was because I deserved the pain. I often replayed that phone call in my head. “Hi... I miss you.” Elio was always so honest. I remember closing my eyes and taking a deep breath and saying “I miss you too. Very much.” When I told him the news that I was engaged to be married, he took it so maturely. “That’s wonderful news,” he had said. “Do you mind?” I had asked him. Do you mind? Do you mind?? What kind of question was that to ask a 17 year old?

“Idiot,” I always said to myself every single time I remembered. What had I expected Elio to say or do? Idiot.

I stared at the black and white photo of Elio’s face and shoulders on the program to tonight’s concert. It was almost the exact same face I saw in my dreams, just slightly older, more mature, his jaw more masculine, hair a bit longer now. It suited him. Elio was looking off to the side and had a playful smile on his face. He looked absolutely gorgeous, dressed in a white shirt, black tie and jacket. It looked as if someone had taken the photo with him unaware he was being photographed.

“That’s the guest pianist tonight!” Lidia exclaimed behind me. “Stacey said the conductor went to Rome this past spring break and a close friend from Santa Cecilia asked him to come and listen to one of his students play. He was so impressed he asked him to be a guest pianist in five concerts this year! You know they’re actually looking for someone to fill the spot permanently since Steve retired. But also, he did it to try and convince him finish his studies at UCLA! Stacey said he was hoping he would fall in love with California and be back next year in the fall! He’s amazing and only 22!”

UCLA. That would mean he would be studying at my university. I could hardly breathe.

“Wow!” I said.

“I know!” Lidia heard the amazement in my voice and assumed it was only a response to all she had said. “Let’s go take our seats!”

“Lead the way!” I smiled and sneaked a quick look at Elio’s photograph again before following Lidia to our seats.

We were sitting to the right of the stage in a terrace box. I liked Lidia. We had both started teaching at UCLA a couple of years ago. She had mentioned her sister, Stacey, was a violinist with the LA Orchestra and we had shared many pleasant conversations about our love of classical music. The first time we had come to watch the orchestra together we had brought our spouses. By the third time we came, it was just the two of us. Lidia’s husband had tired of coming and my wife never quite enjoyed classical music. I was happy at this moment that it was just Lidia and I. Once the music started she would become completely oblivious of me and I wasn’t sure what my physical response would be to seeing Elio for the first time in five years and four months.... but who was counting?

“You said the guest pianist is joining them for five concerts?” The thought that Elio was in Los Angeles and would be here for a while was surreal to me.

“Yes,” Lidia replied. “He’ll be returning to Italy after the New Year. He arrived last week, Stacey said, to rehearse with them all.”

Last week... We’ve been in the same city for a week. He would be leaving after New Years which meant he was in LA for five more weeks.. in total for six weeks. Six weeks... how ironic. A life can change in six weeks. I almost wished to ask where he was staying, but how could Lidia know? She could ask Stacey, no? No. NO. It would seem strange... Right?

“He’s staying with the conductor,” Lidia said. I stared at her in amazement. Had I asked out loud? Surely I hadn’t. “He really wants him to come back to LA next fall. Oh! Oh! Ok it’s starting! They’ll be playing Haydn Piano Concerto No. 11 first!”

My heart skipped a beat. It was a blur. A blur of emotions. Elio was introduced as a special guest from Rome. “An amazing talent! Joining us all the way from Rome, ladies and gentlemen, Elio Perlman.”

And there he was. Elio.

He walked onto the stage, looking incredibly handsome in an all white tuxedo, pressing his palms together and a bright, pleasant smile on his face, lips slightly open. I couldn’t help but smile. You could sense the excitement in him, he had a slight bounce to his step. He bowed his head to the audience and took his seat at the piano which was center stage. The orchestra in a C shape seated behind him. They started playing, then Elio played. It was a bright lively tune. It was all just as magical as I remembered. Elio’s long beautiful fingers moving quickly and lightly across the piano. My heart swelled with so much emotion. Admiration. Pride. Bliss.

Elio was perfection.

 

* * *

 

I pulled into my driveway and parked my car. I stayed seated for a while until I noticed the chill of the December air creeping in. I went inside the house, careful to be quiet. The living room glowing gently with the lights of the Christmas tree. My wife’s family celebrated Christmas and she wanted the boys to grow up with both of our holiday traditions. I said that was fine. I removed my jacket and shoes, put down my briefcase, climbed up the stairs and walked down the hall.

I opened the first door on the right and walked into the bedroom, careful to avoid the scatter of matchbox cars on the floor gently illuminated by the night light. My 3 year old son, Michael, was fast sleep. I pulled the covers up to his chin and took the car that was half under his pillow and placed it on the floor. I leaned down and gently kissed him on the forehead. I left his room and went to the bedroom across the hall. My 9 month old Benjamin, in his crib, also fast sleep. I placed a gentle hand on him feeling his little body rise and fall peacefully and watched him a moment. I turned and exited his room. I walked quietly to the end of the hallway and entered my room, undoing my tie and unbuttoning my shirt.

“Have fun?”

I glanced back and gave Karen a quick smile and leaned forward taking off my socks. “Yes.”

“Hmm,” she said and went back to her book.

I walked into the bathroom and looked at my reflection as I brushed my teeth. I had felt the tears roll down my face as I was making my way home and had quickly wiped them away. Now in the bright lights of the bathroom I could see my eyes were bloodshot but the bedroom lights were more forgiving. Plus, I was sure I would make it to bed and lay down and Karen wouldn’t look up from her book.

I was right. I settled in, laying on my right side, my back turned towards her and turned off my bedside lamp. I closed my eyes and tried to wrap my head around everything that had happened tonight.

A cruel joke life was playing on me. Elio was spending six weeks in LA. Six long weeks. I vowed I’d buy a ticket for every one of his concerts, hoping they wouldn’t be sold out. What would my explanation to Karen be? She barely questioned it when I joined Lidia to watch the orchestra but five times in five weeks? That was absurd. She was bound to ask. I remember the way she looked at me when she would ask about Italy. I would try to be as vague as possible and the more vague I was the more she would look at me. She finally gave up after months of not getting many answers.

Maybe if I said there was a series of lectures I had just found out about... she disliked lectures even more than classical music and I could even invite her to come with me since I knew she would say no. Would that work? No. I hated to lie. If she asked I’d just be vague, that’s all.

What am I thinking? Maybe I shouldn’t go... But the thought of having Elio so close by and not even attempt to see him again... Would I be able to talk to him? Did _he_ want to talk to _me?_ What if Elio took one look at me and turned around and walked the other way. How could I blame him if he did. My mind was racing.

 

A restless sleep finally fell upon me accompanied by strange dreams. I was riding my bike in LA. I was wearing my billowy blue shirt and shorts. It was dark and I wasn’t sure where I was going at such speed. I then noticed it was brighter ahead. A warm yellow glow, growing bigger. I pedaled faster. I closed my eyes, the air was causing them to tear up. I reopened my eyes and Elio was pedaling his bike ahead of me. He jumped off it and quickly started taking off his shoes. I jumped off my bike and followed him. Then there we were, laying on the grass. The warm sun on our faces. “I love this, Oliver.” I smiled. I leaned over him tracing his lips with my right index finger. “Do you mind?” I asked. Elio sat up. “Mind? MIND?? OF COURSE I MIND!”

Elio jumped up and stared running away. I jumped up, startled and started chasing after him.

“Elio! Please! I’m sorry! Elio! Please, I don’t want you to hold what happened against me!”

How could Elio be running so fast? Why couldn’t I catch up? I ran and ran until I noticed I was back to our spot. How many times had I passed it? Had I been running in circles all this time? Where was Elio?

 

I awoke suddenly, heart racing and drenched in sweat. I sat up in bed, looked to my left and saw Karen laying on her side looking up at me.

“You alright?”

“Yeah. Just a bad dream. Sorry. Go back to sleep.”

I laid back down and closed my eyes. I felt her turn to her left side, her back to me. I glanced at the clock on my night table, 2:47 am. A faint cry came from Ben’s room. I was about to get up when Karen said “It’s all right, I’ll go.” she got up and quietly walked out the room.

I sighed and closed my eyes. I was sleep before she came back to bed.

 

I woke up and it took a few seconds before the memory of last night came crashing down on me.

Elio.

I blinked a few times and looked to the clock on my night table. 10:24 am. It was Saturday. Karen always let me sleep in on Saturdays. I could hear the tv on downstairs and heard her talking, probably on the phone with her cousin, it was a Saturday morning ritual with them. Neither sound though was loud enough to wake me up. I got up and slowly started making my way down the hall. Once I was at the top of the stairs I could hear her voice more clearly.

“He was talking in his sleep... mumbling something about being sorry. He does it sometimes. Most of the time I can’t quite make out what he’s saying but I know I heard him say he was sorry.”

I closed my eyes. _Fuck._ What else had I said?

“No... no, well, not worse than usual. Ugh I mean, I don’t KNOW! Ok. I... I don’t know when the last time we actually talked was. When I was pregnant with Ben, maybe? I don’t know. But we don’t fight! We don’t fight, we don’t talk, we don’t NOTHING!” She sounded exasperated. “It’s like it’s me, the kids and a roommate,” she said. “Michael sweetie, don’t sit too close to the TV!”

I took that as my queue. I came loudly down the stairs. Michael was on the floor with some toys watching cartoons, he looked up and yelled “Daddy!” running to me. I picked him up and threw him up in the air, catching him easily. “Again!” he yelled.

“No, not again!” Karen said, “you’ve just had breakfast!”

“Gotta listed to mom, Buddy!”

I looked at Karen, she was holding Ben, phone to her ear. I put Michael on my right side and took Ben from her with my left arm and gave her a kiss on the forehead. I walked to our couch, sat down and held my boys tight.

“Ok, yeah I’ll see you tomorrow! Ok bye!” She hung up the phone and I heard her walk into the kitchen. Michael crawled down and started playing on the floor again. I got up and walked into the kitchen behind her, holding Ben.

“Sorry about last night,” I said.

Karen looked at me. “What are you talking about?”

“Waking you up because of my bad dream. Sorry.”

“That’s fine,” she said. She gave me that look. That I want to _know_ look.

“It was just a bad dream. That’s all.” I said.

She held my gaze a few seconds more then looked down at the floor.

Silence.

“I’m your wife,” she said, looking up at me again, “you can talk to me if anything is bothering you.”

“Yes, of course.” I replied with a smile.

But we both didn’t really talk to each other, at least, not about things that mattered. She had her cousin and I had my books, music and the early morning jogs before work where I cleared my head and replayed memories of Italy. It was easy to feel as if we were making our marriage work at the beginning. Now it had been 4 and a half years and the strain was beginning to show and we didn’t have the courage to talk about it to each other.

She had felt I was different when I returned from Italy all those years ago. She had asked me if I had met someone. “Who is _SHE_?” she had demanded. “There is no _SHE_!” I had said and in a way I was telling the truth. We had been on a break when I went to Italy. She had admitted to me a couple of years later she too had dated that summer. Part of me feels she knew I had met someone and it flipped a switch inside of her. She told me I needed to propose or loose her forever. My parents, especially my mother, expected me to marry, her and soon. “You’re going to be 25 next year! It’s _time_ Oliver!” my mother had said to me that day she had found me packing. She had asked me what I was doing I said I was going back to Italy. I shook my head. I didn’t want to think about that day.

Our marriage was rocky from the start, much like our relationship was. It had been on and off for three years before we married and every time we had a break it was because we knew deep down inside there was no deep, emotional connection. We were pleasing our parents by being together.

My parents had been overjoyed when they met Karen. She was beautiful. Long light brown hair falling in soft waves around her heart shaped face, green eyes, smart and charming. She could have a conversation with anyone, with her welcoming personality, you couldn’t help but feel comfortable around her. Everyone opened up. A slight touch of her hand to their arm and they were spilling their secrets to her. Everyone but me.

So we married. I still had two years to finish my PhD. I was tutoring and Karen was teaching elementary school. Once I finished school we decided to move to California where Karen was from. Michael was one. I welcomed the move, I would be away from my parents, only to find out Karen’s parents were the same. Snobby and closed minded. I had started teaching philosophy at UCLA and Karen stayed home and the cracks in our marriage where plain to see. Karen’s answer to fixing things was to have another child. So we did. Ben had come earlier this year. I love my children very much and Karen was a wonderful mother. But it was obvious our marriage was not meant to be.

The hardest part though, was: I was now just existing. Karen and I were just existing together. ‘A roommate’ she had just called me, and she was right, that’s what this felt like. We were just existing. With Elio I LIVED, with him I was ALIVE. What was I supposed to do with that? Put all my dreams and hopes on a young man that had barely started living his life? Chain him down because with him I came alive? What if I wasn’t it for him? There was so much out there for him to experience. I couldn’t take that away. This is what I told myself over and over again on my morning jogs before work when the guilt felt as it would swallow whole.

I often wondered if it could have been fine with Karen. Who knows, maybe? Except I’ve had my emotional connection with Elio. He was my soulmate. My other half. That was a fact I could not hide.

 

I looked at Karen now. I rubbed Ben’s back gently and kissed his head.

“It was just a bad dream. Probably stress from work. Wasn’t the first. Won’t be the last.” I was hoping that would put the matter to rest.

She nodded and gave up on questioning me further and instead told me what she was planning to cook for the week and if I was ok with it. I always was. She said her cousin and her family were coming over for dinner on Thursday and asked if that was ok, I said that was fine. That was our life. From the outside it all looked fine.

“So I was beyond blown away by the orchestra last night. Their show was amazing, more than it’s ever been,” I said. I glanced at her. She didn’t even look up from the grocery list she was making. “There are four more concerts in the next four weeks and I was actually really hoping to catch them. I know we’re so close Christmas so I didn’t know if it would be alright.”

She looked at me. “Are you asking for my permission?”

“Well, I just know it’s a busy time and I don’t want to seem inconsiderate.”

“Oh ok,” she said. She looked down at her list again, shaking her head slightly.

“Just let me know what nights they are and we’ll figure it out.” She looked up and smiled.

“Ok.” I smiled back and walked back to the living room.

“Do you need anything from the grocery store?” She walked into the living room and got her purse and keys.

“Not that I can think off.” I replied.

“I’ll be back soon then.” She kissed Michael and Ben and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Later!” I said as she walked out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> FYI: I always pictured Karen as a late 80s Brooke Shields!  
> Hugs <3


	2. Elio

Saturday had passed uneventfully. Karen added the finishing touches to the Christmas decorations in the living and dining room. I lit the first candle of the Menorah with my boys. On Sunday we had gone to a birthday party with our kids. I had stayed in the kitchen with the other husbands talking football. It was fine 

I made sure we made it home in time so I could light the second candle with the boys. This was important to me.

Afterwards, they played for a bit and I was excited when Ben pulled himself up to a standing position for the first time.

Fortunately I didn’t have any unsettling dreams either night. 

 

* * *

 

I had started on my Monday morning jog earlier than usual. I couldn’t quite sleep, yet I wasn’t feeling tired. I watched the fog rising from the mountains in the distance. I knew I was anxious and I thought about what I had planned for the day.

Mondays and Fridays I only had one lecture mid morning so the afternoons were for preparation, grading papers and whatever else I had to do. They were my favorite afternoons. I’d grab lunch and turn my music on and relax in my office, free to any student that needed to find me. I had decided I’d look into buying tickets for all of Elio’s concerts, if I could, after my lecture. If they were all sold out, well then, I deserved that too, I thought.

 

It was a beautiful December day. The sky bright blue, not a cloud in sight. Beautiful days like this reminded me of Elio. Everything beautiful reminded me of Elio, even my children somehow.Once I made it back to my office, I sat down at my desk with the Arts section of the newspaper in hand, ready to look up the dates to Elio’s concerts. I had left the door to my office ajar, as was my custom when I was in my office alone.

 

I heard fingertips lightly tap my door and I said “Come on in!” while turning the page of the newspaper.

“I hope I’m not interrupting.”

My heart. It stopped. I looked up. Elio.

Elio.

“Elio.” I said, it was barely audible.

“Oliver.” was his reply.

He was wearing a plain white tee, black jeans, a gray knitted zip up sweater. The sweater had an upturned collar and he had pulled his sleeves up, sunglasses in hand. His hair, slightly windswept. I looked at his eyes, so beautiful, his lips... those lips. They made me weak.

I got up from my desk and walked around to greet him. Do we shake hands? Can we hug? I wanted to hold him so badly, to wrap my arms around him. I had to. I opened up my arms and when I saw he didn’t back away I wrapped them around him. Tight. I closed my eyes. I felt him press a fist between my shoulder blades and tap it against my back lightly as he had on that train platform the last time we had seen each other. I was back in Italy.

Elio.

“Elio.” I said again.

“Oliver.” He replied close to my left ear.

My heart was beating so fast in my chest. I’m sure he felt it. How could he not? My heart was beating back to life. He was my life. 

After a moment we pulled back. I placed my hands on his shoulders not wanting to let go, and slid them down slightly along his arms. I looked at him and smiled.

“You look wonderful,” I couldn’t stop smiling. I couldn’t believe it.

“You too.” He said looking up at me. 

He looked just like his black and white photo on the concert program. Slightly older and more mature than the last time I saw him. Jawline more defined. He was as beautiful if not more so than I remembered, more than his picture even, if that was possible.

I went to shut the door. I surely didn’t want to be interrupted now.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” he repeated.

“No! Of course not! You could never. I’m so... so happy you’re here.” I lifted my right hand and ran it through my hair.

“I was in town,” he said smiling and looking around my office.

“Please, sit down!” I went to remove some books from the brown leather sofa I had. Making room for the two of us.

“Thank you,” he sat down and I sat to his right, suddenly remembering us sitting at the edge of the bed that fateful night at midnight.

“You look good,” he said, his eyes on the floor and then looking up at me again. “You must still jog in the mornings.”

“I do,” I held his gaze. I ran my hand through my hair, suddenly nervous and self conscious. My heart still going a million miles an hour. “You look great yourself. So mature.”

“Ha ha,” he laughed softly looking away.

“I saw you play,” I said.

“You did?” He looked at me again, his expression slightly confused and surprised. “You saw me play last Friday night?”

“Yes,” I smiled at him. “You looked as surprised as I was when I saw your photo on the program!”

“Oh that! Yeah...” he chuckled. “Yeah, I saw that.” He laughed and held my gaze, leaned back and placed his left elbow on the arm of the sofa. He looked so cool and carefree, his smile resembling the one he had in the photo. I smiled back.

“I was actually looking through the Arts section,” I pointed to the newspaper on my desk, his gaze followed. “I was planning on getting tickets for all your concerts if I could.”

He quickly turned his head back to me and stared directly into my eyes. It caught me off guard a little.

“Really? Every single one?”

“Yes. If I could. If they’re not sold out yet.”

“Wouldn’t your wife be confused about why you’re about to go watch the same show you just saw four more times?” He furrowed his brow slightly as he said asked this, holding my gaze the whole time, he didn’t shy away. For once, I had a hard time reading him. Another sign of maturity, I thought, his beautiful face had always given him away five years ago.

“Actually I was planning on going alone to the next four concerts,” I said. It was the truth. “She didn’t go with me to your first one. I went with a colleague, Lidia, her sister Stacey is a violinist with the orchestra.”

His eyes lit up and a smile spread across his beautiful lips.

“No way! Stacey, she’s great! She’s insisted I teach her some French and Italian before I leave. It’ll start with her asking me how to say something simple and then before you know it everyone else gathers around and I’m teaching them the filthiest phrases I know!” He let out a carefree laugh.

I was sure all the women and men in the orchestra were mesmerized by him. Young, handsome, talented and European. What wasn’t there to like?

His brow had relaxed and I now saw he was trying to read me. “So you’re planning to go alone?”

“Yes.” I replied, hands on my knees and feeling slightly nervous again, hoping that I wasn’t hurting his feelings in any way. Maybe he didn’t want me there. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.

“Ah...” he nodded and looked up at the ceiling, he sighed. He looked down and held my gaze again, lifting his chin slightly, “I’ll get you tickets to each concert.” He said it with a slight shrug of his right shoulder as if it was nothing. 

I was shocked. “Elio! I... I...” I didn’t know what to say.

He laughed and gave me a playful punch on my left bicep. “You’re welcome.” He said softly.

“Thank you! Thank you! I’ll pay for them. Really! Just tell me how much-“

“Don’t worry about it. I was told there were two seats available for me to invite whomever I pleased during each performance. One of the perks of being a special guest of the orchestra.” He said and gave me a wink. A WINK. My mouth dropped slightly open. I was even more speechless. He was so incredibly sexy. 

“Thank you.” I said again a huge grin on my face. “So how did you... how did you know I was here?” Did you wonder about me as much as I wondered about you? Everyday?

“Well, you told papa when you started here and he had mentioned it. When I was getting ready to come over I asked him if you were still here and he said you were as of the last time you spoke to him.”

“Yes.” I said. The last time I had spoken to Mr. Perlman was during spring break. Ben was a couple of weeks old and I called to tell him of his arrival. I wonder if he knew Elio had been invited to Los Angeles when he asked me if I was still at UCLA. The last time we had spoken before that was when I had moved here and before that, after the birth of Michael. I had asked him how everything was. How everyone was.

“Good,” He had said to me in his soft tone. “Everything is good. We are ALL good.” I knew he knew and it was comforting. Each time we spoke I had said I was sorry and each time he had told me there was nothing to apologize for. He had told me to focus on being a good father. “The most amazing job in the world.” he had said.

I looked into Elio’s eyes and he looked back at me. How much more about me did he know? How much had he asked? How much had his father said?

“Are you free for lunch?”

Elio looked surprised. “Yeah, actually I am.”

“Great. I’m done for the day. I only have one lecture Monday and Friday mornings and I’m starving so... why don’t we go grab lunch together?” My heart was pounding again. 

“Right now?”

“Yeah. Right now. Let’s go.”

I got up from the couch and walked behind my desk. I put the paper away and grabbed my sunglasses. “It’ll be my treat,” I said. “It’s not every day I’m in the presence of someone as important as the guest pianist from Rome to the most prestigious orchestra in LA!” I grinned again and he laughed. I took a deep breath. I was alive again.


	3. Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Elio’s turn to tell a little of the story and we get to find out what he’s been up to the last five years!  
> Enjoy!

“We’re almost there.” Oliver said flashing me his smile. We were walking to a place he loved at Westwood Village. 

My heart skipped a beat. That smile. He hadn’t stopped smiling since he had asked me to lunch. I smiled back. I took a good long look at him. I wanted to remember everything about this moment so I could recall it at will in the future. December, Los Angeles, bright blue skies, Oliver, his golden hair, sunglasses. 

“Here we are!” Huge smile on his face.

“You really must be starving then! You’re so happy to be here!” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m happy to be here with YOU, goose!” He hugged me again.  

Was he really as happy as me to be here? I needed to keep my composure. I’ve been doing really good so far. It took me exactly two weeks to build up the courage to come see him and it was going so much better than I expected. 

He wrapped his left arm around my shoulders, I felt his hand slide down my back as we walked toward the front door of the restaurant. Even through my layers of clothing my skin reacted to his touch. I remembered that first touch to my shoulder when I lost my balance on my bike the first day I had showed him around Crema. I felt the same electricity.

He held the door open for me. “ _Grazie_ ,” I smiled, stepping inside, taking my sunglasses off. 

There was a second set of doors and I held the door for him this time. He flashed me his gorgeous smile and walked on through, I followed behind him. 

“Table for two gentlemen?” the hostess asked.

“Yes, please.” Oliver replied.

 

She started leading us through the restaurant. I looked around. There were high recessed ceilings with frescos. There were papyrus blossom columns here and there, the floors, Greek marble tile. It was an eclectic mix. There was a tall, curved glass wall all the way to the left, you could see kitchen and wait staff busy preparing meals. I could see why Oliver liked it. I wondered how often he brought his wife here... GROW UP! I told my self. Enjoy the moment! Don’t do this to yourself. Grow up. I looked ahead. I had to keep the negative thoughts at bay.

We stopped at a booth, where the hostess started placing the menus on the table across from each other when Oliver said, “I know it’s just the two of us, but do you mind if we sit at the booth at the end?”

“Of course! No problem, right this way,” she replied pleasantly and picked up the menus again. We walked the curbed pathway to the booth at the end which was C shaped, intended for larger parties. She placed the menus down. “Your waiter will be with you in a moment. Enjoy, gentlemen. 

Oliver turned to me and outstretched his left hand towards the seat, “ _Prego!”_

I smiled and slid in going all the way to the middle of the seat and was surprised when he slid in and sat almost right beside me. We looked at each other and smiled again. I took a deep breath and remembered to try to keep my composure.

A cherry wood panel wall separated us from the booth beside us. It was tall enough you couldn’t see past it, giving us privacy. He was adjusting his fitted navy blue V neck sweater around his shoulders. He was wearing a white button up shirt with light blue vertical stripes with a navy blue tie underneath. The sweater hugged his chest. I remembered running my hands across his chest and shoulders on those lazy afternoons we’d spent together. 

“I’m glad you came,” Oliver was looking at me. My heart ached. I recalled him saying those exact words to me on the balcony at midnight.

“Of course, I’m happy to be here,” I crossed an ocean for you. I won’t be nervous this time, I thought.

Oliver took a deep breath. “So, Lidia said Stacey told her you’re studying at Santa Celia. That’s impressive, but I can’t say I’m surprised, you’re so talented.”

“Thank you. Yeah... I started at the Conservatorio the year after... ah,” I shook my head, “I started in ‘84. One of my instructors during my first year was amazing and taught me so much. He took me under his wing and has mentored me while I’ve been studying there. He was great help while I was preparing for my prova finale for my Bachelors. Now I’m doing my Masters. This is my final year. 

“Impressive,” Oliver said.

“Yeah, he and the conductor go way back,” I continued. “He invited me over for dinner and told me he had a dear old friend he wanted me to meet. I said I’d love to. I should have asked more when he told me his dear old friend loved classical music and if I didn’t mind ‘preparing’ something to play!” 

Oliver laughed. “So what did you play?”

“Well he _told_ me he wanted me to play Schumann’s Toccata in C major!”

“Wow, that piece is relentless!” He said laughing. I nodded and laughed in agreement. “Well, not for you.” He beamed. I soaked it all in. I would ask the conductor if maybe we should add that piece to the next concert as an encore.

“Yeah. It seemed like a bit of a strange request, but I’m glad I _did_ brush up on it as he asked and I was very, very happy to play it for them both. I didn’t know who he was until after. I’m glad I didn’t! I probably would have been too nervous to be any good!” I laughed as I recalled the memory of that night. Oliver gave me a big smile. He looked proud of me. My heart felt so full.

“Oh I doubt that! You’re always so amazing. I remember how much it touched me when I heard you play for the very first time. I’m sure you blew them away. I mean, you _did_ blow them away! Here you are, right now, as a result of it!” 

I looked at him. I remembered playing for him in Italy. I would do it again in a heart beat.

I smiled. I loved sharing this with him. I had been wanting to. “When he told me his guest was the conductor to the Los Angeles Orchestra I was blown away.” 

“So then he asked you to join them here as a guest pianist?

“Yes,” I said.

 

I remembered how the conductor had insisted to join his orchestra as a guest pianist for several concerts in the summer. I was so shocked I didn’t answer right away. Apparently he took my silence as indecision and not shock and saw it as a need to sweeten the deal and had said, “Ok well then join us this holiday season! I’ll get you a tour of UCLA! You should think about continuing your studies there! Join us! I insist!”

I remembered hearing Los Angeles. I knew Oliver was in LA. The previous year, I was in the middle of a relationship and I had felt I was over him. I had asked my father if he had spoken to him and he had told me he had. I asked him where he was and he told me teaching Philosophy at UCLA.

“California?” I had asked papa confused. “Why California?”

“Well, his wife is from there.” He had said softly.

I had cried myself to sleep that night. I remember Édouard had held me that night. _“Es-tu d'accord mon amour?Quel est le problème?”_

 _“C’est bon, je suis désolé,”_ I had whispered between tears as he wrapped his arms around me. I remembered wishing they had been Oliver’s arms.

I had said yes to the invitation to play with the LA Orchestra. This could be a chance of a lifetime, I thought, in every way, and I wouldn’t seem desperate, like I wasn’t just here to look for Oliver.

I remember a few weeks after I had told my parents the news, papa had said, “It’s great that you’re going to go to LA. Do you think you’ll want say hi to Oliver while you’re there?”

“I don’t know.” I had answered and at that moment I really didn’t know, I hadn’t wrapped my head around it all yet. “Is he still at UCLA?”

“As of the last time we spoke, yes.”

“And when was that?”

“About 3 weeks ago.”

 

I looked at Oliver now. “Yes, he asked me to come on as a guest pianist and he mentioned getting me a tour of UCLA. He said he thought I should continue my studies there,” I told Oliver.

“So? Are you coming to UCLA?”

Do you want me to come to UCLA, Oliver? We would be at the same campus. We could have lunch every single week...

The waiter came and put down a basket of bread, two coasters and two glasses of water and asked if we would like to start off with an appetizer. He noticed we hadn’t even looked at our menus, he smiled saying he would be back soon.

“I’m not sure about UCLA yet,” I said. I watched Oliver’s face intently for a reaction but he had picked up his menu and was looking down at it so I couldn’t look into his eyes. I waited for him to react.

He looked up after a few seconds and asked “Why not?” but he had his poker face on. He raised his glass of water and took a drink.  

“Well, I haven’t quite decided whether I wanted to pursue a DMA in piano or not. At first I was thinking about taking a year after I finished at the conservatorio and maybe try my hand at composing, let myself be inspired, who knows.” I shrugged my shoulder and gave what I hope came off as a confident, carefreesmile. The expression on his face told me I had succeeded. Euphoria filled me. It’s not that I wanted to show off, but I wanted him to be incredibly proud of me.

I remembered when I had been accepted into the Conservatorio di Musica Santa Cecilia. Even Mafalda had leaped up in the air with joy. She outdid herself and cooked me all of my favorite dishes for days. I remember hugging my parents and calling Marzia with the news. The only one missing to share in my joy was Oliver. I wanted some of that now. I wanted to see the look on his face as I shared how far I’ve come.

“Well I know I don’t have to tell you that an MDA in piano from UCLA would open amazing doors from you. After the years you’ve spent at Santa Celia you’ll be hard pressed to find a place that will truly suit your caliber of talent. I think, though, UCLA would be one of the places that could.”

I felt he rushed his words slightly. Was he trying to convince me? My heart started racing again. I picked up my menu and started going through it but couldn’t really concentrate. 

“Hmmm... it sounds like you’re trying to convince me to come to UCLA next fall.” I looked up and saw he was looking at me. I held his gaze. 

“Are you ready to order gentlemen?”

We both jumped slightly.

“We’ll be ready in a few minutes. Thank you.” Oliver said.

“Of course, please, take your time.”

“We would like to start with a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, though, and we’ll be ready to order when you come back. 

“Of course, sir.”

Oliver looked at me, “I know it’s quite early but I was in the mood for wine, I hope you don’t mind? 

“No, Oliver, I don’t mind.” 

‘I could do this’ I thought to myself, and I think I could get used to LA.

 


	4. Un Sospiro

_Elio_

 

“So are you staying at the conductor’s home?” Oliver asked.

“His home? No. I’m in a two bedroom condo of his that he uses when he wants to compose and not be disturbed. It’s right off Ocean Avenue. It has a piano and lots of books and great art. The balcony has a beautiful view of the Santa Monica pier.” I said.

Lunch had been amazing. We talked about everything and nothing. There was never a moment of silence between us. We had returned to his office to pick up his briefcase and whatever paper work he needed to take home with him. He has insisted on dropping me off when I told him I had taken a cab to campus.

I glanced over at him as he drove, I wonder if he would come inside. Maybe he fancied another glass of wine. We had drunk half the bottle at the restaurant and he insisted I kept the rest. “It was my treat, so you _have_ to take it home!” They had transferred the rest to a half bottle at the restaurant for us to “preserve the taste” the waiter had said.

“It’s that building right there. You can park right here.” I said  

Oliver pulled into the designsted spot and put the car on park.

“Would you like to have another glass?” I asked lifting up the bottle and smiling.

“No, I shouldn’t. I need to drive home, plus, I don’t need any wine to feel drunk around you.”

I felt my neck grow hot. We looked at one another but again, he had his poker face on. _Why the fuck had he said that?_ I asked myself.

“Turn off the car. Come on up.” I wasn’t asking him, I was telling him. Was this a mistake? I didn’t care.

He did as he was told. We got out of the car and he followed me up the stairs. As we were walking up I paused and said, “You never did answer the question at the restaurant. 

“And what question might that be?” He was standing right beside me on the stairwell, a look of slight amusement on his face.

What are you thinking, Oliver? “Are you trying to convince to come to UCLA next fall?”

“I don’t remember you _asking_ me if I was trying to convince you. You made a statement saying you thought I was trying to convince you, but you never really asked me.” he said smiling. 

I smiled and shook my head. 

I fished the keys out of my pocket as we got to the door and stepped inside. I took off my shoes at the entrance and Oliver did as well. 

 

“Wow, this is nice!” Oliver said as we walked inside.

The apartment was on the top floor. It had pine hardwood floors which was a beautiful contrast with the mostly white and light grey furniture. There was a fireplace with a white marble mantle on the wall opposite us, a gorgeous large painting above it. A glass coffee table in front of it with a white leather sofa on the right, two light gray upholstered chairs to the left. The wall on the right had two huge bookcases.

“Yeah, kitchen on the left,” I said as I put my keys and the wine bottle on the counter, “Dining area past it, sliding doors behind it lead to the balcony.Living room right here, bedrooms and bathroom through there,” I pointed to the hallway, past the wall with the bookcases, he laughed because he could see all this no need for my ‘tour’, “and that,” I said pointing to the piano, “is the best part about this place.”

It was a beautiful Bösendorfer grand piano. It stood to the left of the fireplace. Since this was the corner unit, the two adjacent outer walls, behind the piano, had huge windows on them. “It’s amazing in the mornings when the sun shines in,” I told him with a smile.

He walked to the kitchen and put the wine in the fridge as I made my way into the living room. He looked around as he walked towards me, stopping beside me.

“Would you play for me?”

I smiled. My heart started racing. “What would you like to hear?” 

“Hmmm..” he smiled back looking into my eyes, “How about Un Sospiro?”

 “Ah... Liszt. Étude No. 3, of course,” I said softly. I unzipped my sweater, took it off and threw it on one of the upholstered chairs. “He dedicated the three études to his uncle,” I said as I reached behind me and took my shirt off, also throwing it on the chair. “I love the arpeggios...” I walked over and sat down on the piano bench, ran my fingers through my hair and looked at him. He was still standing in the same spot, eyes glued to me. Good. “It’ll sound much better if I’m relaxed,” I said with a smile and a wink. 

I took in a deep breath and started playing. I enjoyed playing Liszt. I loved his dramatic flair and how the emotion came and went in waves in his music. As I played I remembered our summer five years ago. The moments we spent together, followed by moments where he would keep me at a distance. I remembered everything. I had been keeping my composure but as I played I could let go. He was here with me and I let the music do the speaking for me. My chest felt lighter as all these pent up emotions flowed through my arms and out of my fingerstips as I played. I relished in the simple melody amidst the flurry of the arpeggios of the song. It was like a calm center in the middle of a hurricane.

I was about halfway through the song, when I felt his hands on my shoulders. I kept my eyes down and kept playing. I felt him sit beside me on the piano bench to my left. He was close but was careful not to get in my way as I continued. I felt him sway with me as I played and I couldn’t help but smile. This was heaven. The song slowed down as I approached the end and I finally looked at him, but I couldn’t read his expression. Not because he had his poker face on but because it was an expression I had never seen before.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

“Elio,” his eyes bore into mine. “I’m more alright than I have been in five years.”

He took my face in his hands, my heart was racing. He leaned forward and put his forehead on mine, our noses touching, our lips so close. I remembered our first kiss. We had stayed suspended like this for a second until I had licked his lips and we had kissed. I could smell his intoxicating scent. It was a sweet mix of wine and the scent of his cologne on his skin.

“What are you doing?” I asked. I had to know.

“What I want... what I need,” He said.

“Good,” I reach up and grabbed his hair with my left hand. I ran my right hand up his chest and wrapped it around the back of his neck. I didn’t care about anything at that moment but to make him mine again. He was mine.

_Rrrrring_. We jumped apart. _Rrrrring_.

“Fuck,” I said gotting up and walked to the table in the living room, picking up the phone.

“Hello,” I turned my back to Oliver looking down at my pants. I was so hard.

“Elio! I tried a couple of hours ago but you must have been out. Listen, I’m having the dinner party tomorrow instead of Wednesday. You must come! I have some friends I want you to meet. Great musical minds.” It was the conductor.

“Yes! Of course, thank you I’ll be there.”

“Great. Were you out enjoying LA? Have you fallen in love with it yet?”

I looked back where Oliver was still sitting on the piano bench looking at me. I smiled and turned back to face the living room.

“LA does have some pretty amazing things you can’t find any where else in the world,” I said, I knew Oliver could hear me.

“Glad to hear! Enjoy yourself! If you meet a sweet girl, or boy, feel free to bring them along to the party! See you tomorrow night!” 

I laughed. “Thank you! See you tomorrow night!” I hung up the phone.

I turned back and looked at Oliver, raising my left hand and rubbing the back on my neck. “It was the conductor. He was inviting me to a dinner party.”

“The life of a glamorous classical musician!” He said this with a wide smile, getting up from the piano and walking towards me. He grazed my abdomen with his left fingertips as he walked past me and sat down on the white leather sofa looking up at the large painting above the fireplace.

“Is that Konstantin Makovsky?” He asked. I could still feel his fingertips on my skin.

“Spring Bacchanalia,” I replied as I sat down beside him, to his left. “He painted it in 1891. Makovsky was mostly considered part of Academism and Realism movements but this is Romanticism,” I said. I looked over at him. “His Ophelia is hanging in the bedroom. It’s fucking gorgeous,” I said shaking my head.

“He had two,” he said.

“Yeah both are there,” I said laughing. He grinned at me. I leaned back on the couch. “I like Makovsky.”

“Really?” Oliver gave me a half smile. He looked so sexy. I sensed a look of surprise too. I enjoyed that, surprising him. 

“Why do you look surprised?” I asked, intrigued.

“I just thought you were a fan of Impressionism.”

“Oh I am,” I said remembering our conversations about Monet, remembering the berm. “But I appreciate all the beauty I see around me,” I said looking at him. He looked back at me. My heart was thumping. He only remembered from back then. I wasn’t that Elio anymore. I had grown. “I’m not seventeen anymore,” I said to him.

“I know that,” he said. He held my gaze.

Did he? Did he know what that meant? “If you called me now and told me you may be getting married and asked me if I minded...” I looked at him and shook my head. I felt the emotion come up. _Fuck_. I hadn’t meant for this to happen. I looked away.

“Elio,” I heard the pain in his voice. I didn’t look at him thought. I just shook my head. I let out a deep breath.

“No, no. Forget it,” I said. I laughed and looked at him again. “This is not what I want. I’m only here a few more weeks and I didn’t come to...” I looked him in the eyes. “I only want to remember the good times,” I said. I smiled at him.

He nodded but didn’t smile back. “I’m sorry, do you mind if I use the bathroom?” He asked me quietly.

“Sure, go right ahead.” I said.

 

* * *

 

_Oliver_

 

I looked at myself in the mirror as I was washing my hands in the pedestal sink. I shut the water off and dried my hands. I took a deep breath in and out. What was I doing? What was my end game? My head was a scramble.

I wanted Elio. I couldn’t believe I had grabbed him that way. But it had all come flooding back. Everything. It was still fresh, as if had been this past summer. I grabbed the sides of the sink and tried to calm my beating heart. After a moment I looked at myself again. I fixed my hair and straightened my sweater. I nodded at my reflection. I turned around and opened the door.

I stepped out of the bathroom and was surprised to see the bedroom door, right across the hallway, open. It had been shut when I had walked into the bathroom. I took a couple of steps, crossed the hallway and looked into the bedroom. Elio was rummaging through his suitcase that was laying open on the bed. He had changed into a pair of light gray jogging pants that were hanging almost too low. Almost. I let my eyes linger on his lower abdomen before looking up at his face. He pulled a black and white baseball tee on.

I wanted to know everything about him. What new interests and passions he had acquired in the last five years and the ones that had grown more intense now that he was an adult. I had been given a chance to reconnect and I didn’t want to waste it. I knew he wasn’t seventeen anymore. The fact intimidated me and intoxicated me. I still hadn’t sorted out all I was feeling.

I smiled at him and stepped aside as he walked out of the bedroom and shut the door.

“Come on, I want you to see the view from the balcony,” he said smiling back at me.

We walked out of the bedroom and down the hallway, through the kitchen, behind the dining room table and out the sliding doors. We stepped outside. You could see the ocean and the pier. 

We stayed in the balcony and chatted more. It seemed we had both relaxed. It felt like the easy feeling from lunch was back. I sighed. It was so easy, really, as if we were just picking up where we left off. We stayed out there for about an hour talking and laughing. It felt good to be here, to be close to him. He had asked me if I wanted to convince him to come back next fall. I did want him to. The sun was starting to set. Should I say something now?

“Lets go inside, almost time to light the Menorah,” he said.

I nodded and we stepped inside. I had no problem with Karen not being Jewish, but as we lit the candle on the Menorah, I suddenly wondered what it would be like sharing this tradition with him and my boys.

“Stay for dinner,” he said. I looked at him. He wasn’t asking me. Just like he hadn’t asked me to come inside. 

“Yes, I can do that.” I said. 

“Ok. I wanted to order something and have it delivered. It’s why I changed.”

“Yeah that’s perfect. Mind if I use the phone?” I asked.

“Go right ahead,” Elio said.

 

Karen wouldn’t be wondering where I was yet but I had to let her know I wouldn’t be home for dinner. I picked up the phone and called home.

“Hello.”

“Hey, it’s me. Listen a friend of mine showed up at campus today and I’d love to catch up so I’m gonna grab dinner with him.”

A pause. “Oh ok, that’s fine. Have I met him?”

“No, you haven’t.”

“You didn’t invite him to the wedding? I thought you had invited all your friends.”

“He was out of the country during that time so I knew it was pointless to invite him.”

“Oh ok. Ok that’s fine. Be careful driving home. I think it’s suppose to rain tonight.”

“Ok. See you later. Bye.”

“Bye.”

 

I hung up and saw Elio on the couch with the yellow pages. I wasn’t sure if I should say something or not, it would have been impossible for him to not have heard my conversation.

“You’d know better than me what’s around here to order from,” he looked up and gave me his gorgeous smile. It was obvious he didn’t want to talk about my phone call.

“Yes, well, depends if you’re in the mood for Chinese, seafood or pizza.”

“Chinese!”

“Chinese it is then!” 

 

“God it was the worst ever! I HATED IT!”

Elio was laughing so hard I thought he would choke on his lo mein noodles. We were sitting at the round glass dining room table, enjoying our Chinese ‘feast’ as he called it.

“Anyway, needless to say that was the first AND last time I went on a blind date!” I rolled my eyes in an exaggerated manner and laughed along with him.

He wiped tears from his eyes and picked up his bottle of soda. “I will just call you Ollie from now on!”

I chuckled. A thought suddenly materialized in my brain, “So, what embarrassing date stories do you have?”

“Nothing too bad actually,” he said.

“No?” I looked down at my plate and pushed the food around with my chop sticks. “Anyone serious?”

“A couple.” I looked up to try and catch his eye but he was looking down at his food. 

“Men or women?”

“One man and one woman.”

I nodded. I couldn’t say I was surprised. How could I be? He’s amazing. I tried to suppress the sinking feeling at the bottom of my stomach. It was ridiculous of me to feel jealous but there I was, feeling jealous. I wanted to but didn’t want to know. No, I wanted to know.

“What was his name?”

Elio looked at me. He was trying to read me again. He took a bite of food and chewed it a while. “Édouard.” he said, there wasn’t much emotion he was just stating a fact.

“French? Were you in love?”

“Yes and yes.”

I wasn’t ready for the sting. Maybe it was because I never felt for Karen, or any other woman I had dated for that matter, what I had felt, and still felt, for him. I thought of the other men that I had been with and I knew a couple were just curiosity and even the couple that I could say I knew I had true feelings for didn’t hold up a candle to the love I felt for Elio. I wonder if he loved this French boy more than he loved me. 

“What happened?”

“With Édouard?”

I nodded and watched him.

He shook his head and placed his palms flat down on the table, looking pensive.“I guess, at the end of the day, we wanted different things,” he said, taking another bite of food. I watched him as he chewed slowly and swallowed. “We thought we wanted the same,” he continued, “But as time went on we saw more and more that our visions for the future weren’t the same at all.”

He sounded wise beyond his years. I admired him. “You’re so much more mature than I was at your age.” I said.

“Ha ha,” he gave me his lighthearted laugh. “I doubt it. We tend to see the people we love through rose colored glasses.”

I gave him a smile. He had said ‘people we love’ present tense. I’m glad he knew I still loved him. I don’t know what good that did me. It didn’t settle anything or make our situation better, but st least he knew. “Yes, we do. But regardless it is true. You’re an amazing man.”

“Well, I have my father to thank for that.”

“Indeed you do! You definitely lucked out in that department. When it comes to parents you really are lucky Elio. I have called your dad a few times in the last five years at some challenging times in my life. Called him over calling my own father, actually. Your mom is an amazing woman too.”

He smiled and reached for my hand. I smiled at him as he held my hand for a moment. “They love you. Mafalda too. Maybe one day you can return to visit Italy. Everyone would love that.”

It warmed my heart. I imagine Elio and I and my boys at the Villa. That would be amazing. But why was I letting myself think it? I was lost in thought.

“By the way... the answer is no.” His voice pulled me back. 

I looked at him. “What?” I asked, confused.

Elio looked at me. “No, I did not love Édouard more than you.”

I let out a sigh and couldn’t help but smile down at my food. Another realization: my poker face wasn’t what it was five years ago.

 

* * *

 

We had been sitting on the couch for a moment now. Elio had put on a Billie Holiday record, “I’m assimilating. What’s more American than jazz?” he had said.

I looked at my watch. It was quarter to eight. “I’m sorry, Elio.”

“I know, I know. It’s ok. Hey, today was amazing. Thank you.”

We got up and slowly walked to the front door. I felt as if we both wanted to drag this moment out as long as possible.

I slowly put my shoes on. “Hey, when do you return to Italy?”

“January 2nd. I have a 5:30 pm flight.” 

“I’ll take you.” I didn’t have to think about this twice. I needed this.

Elio looked surprised. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Yes. Of course. I want to take you.” I was doing it for myself. The last time we had said goodbye it had been heartbreaking for me. So much had happened. I had wanted to come home and pack up and go back to Italy and part of me was prepared too. Then I came home and everything unraveled.

“Ok,” Elio smiled. “Thank you. I would love that Oliver.”

I nodded. I embraced him. We held each other for a while.

“See you soon,” I said. I pulled back and took in his face.

“See you soon,” he smiled.

He turned and opened the door for me. I lifted my left hand and stroked his cheek. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that, but I couldn’t help and it and I didn’t regret it. I stepped out and started walking down the stairs. I walked to my car and got inside. I let out a deep breath. Either life was playing a cruel joke on me or this was the second chance of a lifetime.

 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!  
> Thank you all for the lovely comments and kudos and I hope you keep enjoying this story! It’s gonna be a bit of a bumpy ride but it’ll be worth it in the end!  
> Hugs <3


	5. Dinner Guests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After feeling more emotional than anticipated when seeing Oliver the day before, Elio tries to forget things any way possible...

I looked at my watch. 4:20 pm. Ok, perfect timing. Stacey said she was going to be here at 4:30 pm. I was dressed and ready to go. 

It had taken me forever to fall sleep last night. I don’t even know what time it was when I finally drifted off. Then I had had unsettling dreams. I had stayed in bed all morning. I didn’t get up till past 1 pm. I was so glad we didn’t have rehearsals today.

I knew it was all because of my afternoon and evening with Oliver. Last year I had promised myself I wasn’t going to have another night like last night. I had an anxious feeling in my chest about it. I felt I was regressing in all the progress I had made and the thought scared me. The nights of insomnia or crying myself to sleep were something I was determined to never let happen again, regardless of how close I was to him. He was still married and belonged to someone else. I had to be strong.

I stepped out into the balcony. I’d be able to see Stacey coming from here. It was only a couple of minutes later and I saw her turn into the street.

I walked in and slid the door shut, locking it. I exited the condo and locked the front door, quickly descending the stairs. I jogged around the car and got into the passenger’s side.

 

“Wow, Stacey! You look gorgeous!” I said smiling at her.

“Thank you,” she said. She had a beautiful lavender dress. It had long flowing sleeves but it was low cut enough that it showed off her breasts. They looked great. I looked straight ahead, I didn’t want to be rude.

“Thank you for asking me to come with you,” she said. “I hope the conductor doesn’t get upset I’m there,” she said.

I laughed. “Why would he be?”

“I don’t know,” she giggled. “Maybe because this is for VIPs,” we stopped at a red light and she looked at me and smiled.

“You’ll be fine,” I said smiling reassuringly at her. 

I turned the radio on and she offered me a cigarette. I asked her if she wanted one and she nodded. I lit one for her and handed it to her then I lit one for myself. We chatted the rest of the drive up. It was a quick drive to Beverly Hills.

We pulled into the conductor’s driveway. His home was a beautiful place. You could hear the faint classical music from the grounds. Once we had parked I got out and jogged over to the driver’s side door. I opened the door for Stacey and helped her out. She giggled. “You’re so sweet,” she said.

I took a good look at her once we she was out. Her dress fit her perfectly and showed of her great figure. He hair was swept up and she had very pretty gold dangling earrings. “You really are quiet lovely,” I said smiling. I wasn’t sure how old Stacey was. She was maybe around Oliver’s age, give or take a few years. I didn’t care. She smiled and we walked inside.

The conductor met us soon after we walked inside. He hugged Stacey and greeted her warmly. He hugged me as well then looked at me and put his hands on my shoulders. “There are two people here I’d like you to meet. One is someone who works in the music industry. His name is David. Then there is a pianist name Margaret Winters.” My eyes widened. Even Stacey gasped.

“ _THE_ Margaret Winters?” Stacey whispered. I looked at her and smiled. The conductor nodded.

“I have a piano in the room that we will be having drinks in after dinner. Impress them,” he said. I smiled and nodded. All the unsettling thoughts from this morning melted. I thrived in moments like this.

I stuck my arm out for Stacey and we walked through the crowd of people.

 

I was very proud of who I had become in the last five years. I was extremely comfortable in my skin and it showed. Stacey was actually very wonderful, always laughing at the little jokes I made. I was thankful I had brought her.

First the conductor introduced me to David. We struck up a pleasant conversation. I talked about studying in Italy and spoke of how I had started composing music. He said he was looking for someone to help him compose and play music for a documentary. He gave me his card and asked to meet me next week. I said I would be more than happy to.

Dinner was served and we all went and sat down. There was a seating plan and the conductor had sat me beside Margaret Winters. When I introduced myself she actually knew I was a guest pianist for the orchestra. We struck up a conversation and she seemed extremely pleased when she found out I was fluent in French. “I lived in Paris. I studied piano there and then went back and lived there between ‘79 and ‘84. It’s wonderful,” she said smiling. I had read about all of that, of course, but smiled politely. We spoke the rest of the night in French.

 Once dinner was over, as the conductor had said, we were led into a larger room with a beautiful brown Bösendorfer Vienna piano in it. I was quickly ushered there and sat down at the brown leather bench. I was feeling slightly bold, I looked into the crowd, “Mademoiselle Winters,” I said, “what shall I play for you?”

She smiled at me, “Something short and sweet,” she said. “How about Chopin Étude in G-sharp minor!”

I smiled and nodded. Short and sweet indeed, that was a very difficult piece but I knew I could play it exceptionally well and I did. The room burst into applause when I had finished playing it. 

We left almost at 11 pm. I escorted Stacey back to her car. “I can drive if you’d like,” I said. She nodded. She fished her keys out of her small lavender purse and handed them to me. I went around and opened the passenger door for her. I shut it once she was inside and I went around to the driver’s side door. 

 

In my first week here I had been driven back and forth from the conductor’s home to his condo enough times that I knew the way. It was a quick drive. I parked Stacey’s car.

“You were magnificent,” she said, smiling at me. 

“Thank you,” I said smiling back at her. “Would you like to come in?” I asked her.

She nodded. I smiled and got out and opened the passenger door for her. We walked upstairs. I opened up the front door and let her inside.

“Oh, it’s beautiful here,” she said quietly. I smiled and nodded.

“Would you like some wine?” I asked her.

“Oh, no, I’ve had quite enough and then, you know, I have the drive home...” she said quietly looking up at me.

I walked to her and caressed her cheek lightly with the back of my fingers. “Or you could stay,” I said with a smile.

“Yes,” she said breathlessly. “I could stay.”

 

I stood right up to her and she lifted her face towards me. I gently kissed her as I wrapped my arms around her waist and gently massaged her back.

“I don’t have any... um -“

“I have some,” I said. I pressed her against me and kissed her again. She opened her mouth and I slowly slid my tongue past her lips and caressed her mouth with it.

I took her by the hand and led her down the hall to the bedroom. The lamps on the bedside tables had wonderful soft lights in them. I went ahead and turned one on. It was perfect. I took off my suit jacket and untucked my shirt.

“Would you take your hair down for me please?” I asked her. She obliged. I ran my hands through her hair, undressed her and laid her down on the bed. I undressed and grabbed a condom from the bedside table, climbed on top of her and started kissing her. I made sure I took my time with her, making love to her and making sure she was being pleased. Once she had reached orgasm, I gave her a moment and then turned her on her hands and knees. I grabbed her hips and fucked her until I came.

I gently slipped out and laid her on her back again. I went back between her legs and made her climax once more with my tongue. 

I got up and washed my face and brought her a towel to clean up. I laid down beside her and fell sleep quite quickly. At least for that night I had no thoughts or dreams of Oliver.

 


	6. All I Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies!
> 
> This chapter begins with Elio’s POV then switches to Oliver’s POV. It just made more sense writing it that way! You’ll see why!  
> Hope you enjoy <3

_Elio_

 

I had woken up the next day before Stacey had and had gone into the kitchen to make some coffee. I figured I would wait for her to be up to see what she wanted to eat.

It was past 8 am, so I decided to call the conductor.

“Hello?

“Good morning, it’s Elio.”

“Ah! How did you enjoy last night?”

“It was wonderful! Thank you so much. I’m meeting David next week actually and I think I made a good impression on Miss Winters.”

“Oh, you did, she told me so!”

I chuckled. “So, I meant to ask you, I have a friend who I really want to invite to my last four concerts.” The thought of me seeing Oliver’s face in the crowd as I played gave me butterflies.

“No problem! I’ll give you the tickets tomorrow during rehearsal.”

“Thank you so much. See you tomorrow.”

I hung up and made my way back to the kitchen.

 

I heard Stacey coming down the hallway. I had left a tee shirt and some shorts that I knew would fit her on the bed where she would see them. I saw her walk into the living room wearing the clothes I had left her.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

“Good morning, I made coffee,” I said smiling. “What would you like to eat? Shall I make you eggs, pancakes?”

“Anything, really,” she said looking down at the counter.

I nodded and looked at her. “You alright?” I asked.

She looked up at me and nodded. “I...” she took a deep breath, “I have a boyfriend,” she said quietly.

“Ok,” I said smiling. I had no expectations of this, I enjoyed her company but that’s as far as it went. “I’m only here for a few more weeks, Stacey. Who knows if once I leave I’ll ever come back. I’m not looking to turn your life upside down,” I said.

She nodded. “I know,” she said. “You didn’t know either. It was all me,” she said looking down at the kitchen counter again.

“Hey,” I said reaching across the counter and grabbing her hand. “Come tomorrow we’ll have rehearsals and it can just go back to normal, we’re both adults,” I said to her.

She gave me a smile, nodded and squeezed my hand.

 

* * *

 

I took a cab to UCLA at 11:50 am. It was a quick ride. I knew Oliver had a couple of hours between his lecturers. I walked to his office and lightly tapped my fingertips on the door.

“Come in!” I heard him call.

“Hey,” I said walking in.

“Hi,” he said giving me a smile. His smile was so beautiful. I remembered the morning after when I had gone into town after him. I found him and the smile he had given me when he saw me... it was that smile. It still affected me the same way.

“So,” I said, “I called the conductor this morning and mentioned I had someone who I wanted to invite to my last four concerts and he told me he would give me the tickets at our rehearsal tomorrow.” I smiled at him.

Oliver smiled back. “Thank you, so much,” he said.

I nodded. “Do you have time to grab lunch?”’

“Of course,” he said. “I always have time for you.” That made me smile.

 

We walked to a pizza place nearby. We were sitting outside chatting and eating.

“This Friday is the last day of classes before winter break starts,” Oliver said 

I nodded. “When will classes restart?”

“The week after you leave,” he said. He looked at me a moment. I looked into his blue eyes. “I will be more available,” he said softly. “We can spend more time together. I could show you around a bit, take you sight seeing, if you’d like.”

I took in a deep breath. “That’d be great, thank you,” I said with a smile.

“It will be my pleasure, there are several places I’d love to take you to,” he said smiling at me. I could tell he was really looking forwardto it by the smile on his face. I couldn’t help but to smile back. My heart started beating faster.

“I don’t think I ever gave the phone number to the condo,” I said.

“No,” he said. He gave me a pen and I grabbed a napkin from the table and wrote it down for him. He put it in his pocket.

We ate and chatted for a while more. He drove me home afterwards.

 

I spent the rest of the afternoon on the piano composing. He made me feel so much. He inspired me.

I then read a bit and then made myself something to eat later on. I laid in bed for a while and started thinking about what it would be like to spend more time with Oliver. How would I emotionally handle it? I just told myself that when I went home I didn’t want to regret what had or hadn’t happened here. I would just be me. I was feeling more relaxed about my situation and had an easy time going to sleep.

 

* * *

 

On Thursday Stacey came after lunch to pick me up for rehearsal. She was her typical bubbly self, which I was happy about. I meant it when I had said I didn’t want to cause her any problems. 

“So, I was wondering if maybe we can get something to eat after rehearsal?” She asked me while she was driving.

I looked at her, a bit surprised. She had said she had a boyfriend but she was also an adult and I wasn’t going to question her. “Sure, if that’s what you want,” I said. She nodded. “Ok,” I said.

Our rehearsals were several hours long. In the end, a group of about ten of us went to a sushi place. I had a great time. I was probably eight to ten years younger than all of them but it didn’t feel like it. They were a wonderful group and they had made me feel welcomed from the start. I had a wonderful time. 

Stacey dropped me off at about 7 pm. She came up for a moment. We sat out on the balcony and we had a couple of cigarettes and something to drink. After a couple of hours she decided to leave. I walked her to her car and we hugged and I told her I’d see her tomorrow at the concert.

I grabbed a book and went to bed and read for a while. Eventually I became sleepy. I closed the book and drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Friday morning I woke up in a wonderful mood. I got up and showered. While I showered I was thinking of the pieces I was playing for the concert that night. When I got out I dried my hair quickly, combed it and wrapped my towel around my waist and made my way to the piano. I had just started to play when the phone rang.

I walked over and picked it up. 

“Hello?”

“Hey!” My stomach flipped. It was Oliver.

“Oliver,” I said smiling.

“Elio. Hi,” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Hi,” I said.

“So, today is my last day. I was wondering if I could drop by your place afterwards.”

I was smiling like an idiot. “Yeah, I just have my concert tonight.”

“Well, could I drive you? I mean, I’ll be going as well.”

I looked up at the ceiling, my heart beating faster. “Yes, that would be ok.”

“Ok... so, um, I’ll be done here at noon and I’ll be at your place as soon as possible.”

“Ok,” I said smiling. “See you soon.”

“Later!”

 

I took a deep breath. I went back to the piano and tried to get back to what I had been thinking of in the shower. I started playing, trying out different things. I got a little hungry and went and got a banana and drank some juice. I went back to the piano. I was mentally in a really good zone and everything I was playing felt great.

I had been playing non stop when I became aware of knocking at my door. I stopped. I glanced at the clock in the kitchen and saw it was 12:33 pm. It must be him. I jumped up. I had to grab the towel round my waist, it was slipping off. I went and opened the front door.

There he was. He was wearing a navy blue plaid shirt with a navy blue tie and black pants. I smiled. He looked great. He was carrying a filing box and a garment bag and had his leather bag across his body. 

I smiled at him. He looked me up and down slowly. “Hi,” I said. I grabbed the garment bag with my free hand as I stepped aside. “Come in.”

He stepped in and smiled. “Thank you,” He said as he places his leather bag and the box down and took off his shoes.

”What’s in here?” I asked him.

”Shirt, suit and jacket for tonight,” he said. 

I nodded. “I’ll hang it in my room,” I said. I was still holding the towel around my waist.

He looked at my midsection. “I’m confused,” he said smiling at me. 

“About what?” I asked.

“Well, your towel makes you look like you just got out of the shower but your hair is totally dry,” he said, leaning his arm against the wall above my head and leaning in closer to me. He was flirting. He was so handsome.

I smiled up at him, leaning back against the wall. “I showered earlier and my brain became obsessed with playing something on the piano and then one thing led to another and I lost track of time,” I said looking up at him.

“Is that so?” He asked me smiling.

I nodded. I could smell his cologne. “Anyway,” I said, standing up straight. Our faces were mere inches away. “Let me go put something more decent on, I’ll be right back. 

“Well don’t do it on my behalf,” he said smiling.

I laughed and shook my head. I turned, walked down the entrance hallway and turned right, walking down the hallway to the bedroom. I took off the towel and put some boxers on. I slipped on some shorts and walked back into the living room. I saw Oliver had put the box he had brought on the floor beside the kitchen counter.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Papers I have to grade.” He said, sitting down on a stool.

I nodded. “Where you gonna grade them here while you hung out with me?” I asked. 

“Would you mind?” He asked me, searching my face.

“No, that’s fine,” I said running my hands through my hair. “You can relax and mark some papers while I practice and compose.” I said smiling at him. I liked the thought of having him here with me. I put my hand on my stomach. “I’m starving.”

Oliver got up and walked into the kitchen. He opened up the fridge. “Let me cook something for you” he said to me. I nodded and took a seat at the kitchen counter.

 

* * *

 

_Oliver_

 

I took everything I needed out of the fridge and started cooking for him.

“What are you making me?” He asked me smiling. He was sitting on a stool watching me. I glanced over his body. He was still slim but his muscles were more defined. He was breathtaking. His skin, just as beautiful and smooth.

“Mac and cheese,” I said smiling. He laughed and nodded. “But not just any mac and cheese,” I said looking at him. “Since you’re Italian and French I wasn’t surprised when I saw your huge variety of cheese and so it’ll be extra cheesy and amazing,” I said. “I’ll also add prosciutto,” I said.

He nodded. “Thank you,” He said. “I didn’t know you liked to cook,” he said smiling.

“Well, it was impossible for anyone to do anything in Mafalda’s kitchen!” I said. He nodded and laughed. “So how was your dinner Tuesday?” I asked him.

He shrugged. “Ok, I guess,” he said.

“Just ok? The conductor said he had people to introduce you to.” I looked at him. He was looking down at the counter.

“Yes, and he did actually,” he said looking up at me smiling. “I have a meeting next week with a music producer. He has a documentary that needs a soundtrack,” Elio said.

“Wow,” I looked at him. “So are you -“

“I don’t know,” he said smiling. “We’ll see what comes out of that meeting. I also met Margaret Winters!” 

“World famous pianist Margaret Winters?” I asked smiling.

“That’s the one. She lived in Paris a few years so she was happy I spoke French. Then I played for her, well for everyone. It was a good dinner.” He smiled at me.

“Well, that’s amazing,” I said. “But you’re amazing and you deserve it all, all that you want.” 

“All that I want,” he said, sitting up and stretching. “I’m planning on getting all that I want.”

I looked into his eyes. “Good, you should,” I said.

We chatted as I cooked. I put the food in the oven and sat down beside him, waiting for it to be done. Karen knew I was going to the concert afterwards so there was no need for me to call home and I was happy about that.

“So are you gonna cook for me these next few weeks?” He asked me. 

“I could,” I said. He smiled and looked at me. I wanted to touch him but I kept my hands to myself. I still had no idea what I was doing. Right now, here in this condo was what I wanted. When I returned home it was reality. How would I ever merge the two without creating a destructive storm?

The oven beeped and I got up and took the food out. I served us and sat down beside him. We ate and chatted and laughed. He got on the piano as I cleaned up the dishes.

He told me to listen to what he was playing and told me what he wanted to change to make it perfect. To me it was perfect already and I told him so. He just laughed. He had a bit more to eat and then he told me he had to get ready.

“Come with me,” he said. I obliged and walked with him to the bedroom. He asked my opinion on what suit he should wear. I gave him my opinion. He started getting dressed. He spoke to me more about what he was playing. I listened and watched him. I helped him with his tie.

“How do I look?” He asked.

“Perfect,” I said.

I had brought a shirt, jacket and tie to change into. Elio handed it to me and watched me as I changed. I liked the way he looked at me.

He smiled and we left. We drove into Los Angeles. The drive took a while and he seem to be pensive so I didn’t talk much. He told me to go with him backstage. I gladly went with him. We walked in and he introduced me to some of the orchestra members. I saw Stacey. I had met her before. She looked surprised to see me.

“What are you doing here?” She asked laughing and giving me a hug. “Is Lidia here?” 

“No,” I said laughing and shaking my head.

She saw Elio and gave him a hug. I watched as she rubbed his chest. He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the head. They seemed comfortable with each other. I looked at Elio’s face but he didn’t look in my direction.

We said good bye to Stacey and walked in further and he introduced me to a few more people. Finally, he introduced me to the conductor. 

“This is who the tickets were for!” Elio told him with a beautiful smile.

“Well, aren’t you handsome!” The conductor said. I laughed as he hugged me. “What do you do for a living?”

“I teach philosophy at UCLA,” I said. 

“Beauty _AND_ brains!” He said. Elio laughed and nodded in agreement. He winked at me. I actually felt myself blush. 

 

I left after a while and took my seat. The concert started soon after. Elio was perfection again. I looked at him as he bowed on stage, wearing the suit I told him to wear with the tie I had put on for him. I loved that. 

I contemplated my situation. I only had a few more weeks with him. I didn’t know if I’d ever seen him after he left. I decided to do as I finally had the courage to do in Crema and throw caution to the wind and enjoy my time with him. It’s all I had.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed!!!  
> All comments are greatly appreciated!  
> Hugs <3


	7. I’ve Missed You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another split POV!  
> Enjoy my lovelies!  
> Hugs <3

_Oliver_

 

On Saturday Karen and I went to go visit her parents. It was a typical visit. I kept my distance and entertained the boys. On Sunday, Karen was going out Christmas shopping so I stayed home with the boys. I had fed them lunch. I put Ben down for his nap and Michael was playing happily with his cars on the living room floor.

I decided to call Elio. I had already memorized his phone number.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” I greeted him, smiling. 

“Hi,” he said. “How are you?”

Better now, I thought. “I’m good thank you,” I said. “So, I was wondering if you were free tomorrow. I figured I could take you somewhere. 

“Yeah, that sounds good. What time do you want to come over?”

“How about 10?”

“Ok, then. It’s a date.”

I smile. “It’s a date,” I repeated.

“See you tomorrow,” he said. 

“Later,” I replied.

 

* * *

 

I arrived at Elio’s place a few minutes before ten. I parked and climbed the stairs and knocked on his door.

A moment later he opened it. “Hi,” he said smiling at me. I smiled back. He stepped aside and let me in.

I walked into the condo and turned around to face him. “So,” I said. “I have thought of a few places I’d like to take you,” I said smiling. He smiled back, nodding. “But, is there anywhere in particular you’d like me to take you?” I asked. 

“Yeah, there is,” He said.

“Ok,” I said smiling. “Where?”

“To the grocery store,” he said.

“What?” I asked confused.

“Let’s go grocery shopping,” he said laughing gently at the look of shock on my face. “I want you to cook for me more and at least for today, I want us to stay in and...” he trailed off.

My heart started beating fast. “And?” I asked.

“And spend quality time together,” he said looking into my eyes.

“Of course,” I said. “Anything you want,” I meant that.

 

We did as he wanted. We went grocery shopping. I asked him what he wanted me to cook for him for these next few days and he told me it was totally up to me. We chatted as we picked out produce and looked around. I suddenly imagined this being us forever. It filled me with happiness. 

After we returned to the condo we put everything away and I started getting everything ready to cook for him. He had been sitting at the counter chatting and watching me chop up vegetables when there was a sudden knock at the door. We looked at each other surprised. He shrugged and got up and walked towards the door. 

“Hey!” I heard a female voice say. It sounded familiar. I looked towards the entrance hallway. “I came by to see -“

I saw Stacey walk in. She looked as shocked to see me as I was to see her. “Stacey?” I said. 

“Oliver? What are -“ her eyes widened slightly. “Ok, sorry, I should have called,” she said as she looked around the kitchen. She looked between Elio and I. “How do you two know each other?” She asked. 

“We dated,” I said without thinking about it twice. I suddenly remembered the way she had rubbed his chest on Friday night. Now, here she was just dropping in. They had obviously slept together. I also knew Stacey had a boyfriend. I’d met him before when Karen and I had gone to a birthday dinner Lidia had had for her. I didn’t care if Stacey knew about Elio and I. Even if she told Lidia, it would not go past her. Lidia was a trustworthy person. 

“Oh,” she said quietly. “I apologize for the interruption,” she said to me. I nodded at her. She looked at Elio, “See you at rehearsal,” she said with a small smile. He nodded and smiled to her as well. 

She turned and walked back towards the door, Elio behind her. I heard him close and lock the door.

I kept chopping. Elio returned and took a seat where he had been before. He ran his hands through his hair and looked at me, chin on his clasped hands. He bit the inside of his lip. I stared into his eyes. I could tell by his expression that he was slightly apprehensive about what my reaction to all this would be. I didn’t want to loose my composure. I hated getting emotional. I looked down and kept chopping, trying to keep my hands steady. I took a deep breath.

“Did you sleep with her?” I asked once I felt I could keep my voice steady.

“Yes,” he said.

“She has a boyfriend you know,” I said. I sounded angry, I knew it, I hated it, but couldn’t help it.

“Yeah she told me the day after,” he said.

I put the knife down and took a couple of steps back. I leaned back against the fridge and closed my eyes, clenching my hands into fists. I needed to regain my composure and I had to tell myself to quit being such an idiot.

He was a grown man and Stacey was a grown woman. I was being absolutely ridiculous. Maybe he wanted to be with her. She was pretty, she was a musician. Yeah, she had a boyfriend but she hadn’t abandoned him and married someone else. I fucking deserved this.

I suddenly felt Elio wrap his hands around my clenched fists. I quickly opened my eyes. I hadn’t even heard him walk over. I unrolled my fists. He pressed his palms against mine as he lifted my hands up. He had the most beautiful, tender look in his eyes. He was so beautiful. We clasped our hands together. “I’m sorry,” he said softly.

“No,” I said quietly, shaking my head and looking away. I felt a lump rising up in my throat. I swallowed. “ _I’m_ sorry.” I said. I took a couple of deep breaths. I couldn’t look into his eyes.

“Why? What is it?” He asked me gently.  

“I’m so embarrassed.” I whispered, my voice quivering slightly. 

“Why?” Elio asked quietly. 

“Because I’m acting like an idiot,” I whispered, finally looking into his beautiful green eyes.

The most gorgeous smile spread across his lips. “No,” he shook his head. “I don’t think you’re acting like an idiot,” he whispered to me. “I think you’re acting like a man in love.”

The words hit like like a ton of bricks. He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me to him. I kissed his forehead. I felt his warm breath against my skin as he kissed my neck softly. I closed my eyes.

“I’ve missed you,” I said softly.

“I’ve missed you too,” he whispered back. “Very much.”

We held each other for a while. I didn’t want to cry. I closed my eyes and held it in until the melancholy passed, until I could breathe a little better. I remember that night when we were sitting under the moonlight and he had told me we had wasted so many days. I thought of these last five and a half years.

We finally pulled apart. He smiled at me and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“I leave January second,” Elio said. “That’s in three weeks.” I nodded. “I don’t know what will happen January third.”

The look in his eyes was more than I could handle. I grabbed his face and kissed him. I felt all the passion and emotion I had felt five years ago. I had never felt it before and I had never felt it since. I leaned down and kissed his neck. He moaned. I loved the way he moaned. 

We pulled apart. He took my hand and pulled me down the hallway towards the bedroom. Once we had stepped through the bedroom door, he turned around and started kissing me. We were grabbing and pulling off our clothes. I almost felt as if I couldn’t get him undressed fast enough.

I felt his hands on the waist of my jeans. He unzipped and pushed them down. He went down on his knees. He slid me in his mouth. I groaned loudly. My knees almost gave in. He leaned back and laughed.

“Fuck!” I said panting and laughing.

“Sit on the bed before you fall,” he said, getting up and smiling widely at me.

I laughed and sat at the edge of the bed. He got back down on his knees. His warm wet mouth engulfed me. I laid back on the bed moaning and groaning. I reached and grabbed his hair. My hips lifting up to meet his perfect lips. I felt his hands running up and down my thighs and across my abdomen. His tongue rolling around me. He would suck my head hard as he stroked me and then slide me back in and caressed me with his tongue.

The build up was incredible. My body felt better than it had ever felt. He sucked me harder as he felt my body tensing under him. I propped myself up on my elbows, I felt the sweat on my chest. I watched as his beautiful red lips pressed around me. He slid me in as deep as he could. I groaned. I couldn’t hold it much longer. I watched him intently as he pumped me in and out of his mouth. I was almost there. He suddenly looked up at me and stared me straight in the eyes as I came in his mouth. I watched as he swallowed every single drop. I panted in disbelief. 

He held me in his mouth for a moment after I had orgasmed. I watched as I slid out of his mouth. He leaned down and I felt him kiss my softening erection a few times. I fell back on the bed, panting. I felt him crawl on the bed and on top of me. I looked up at him. His beautiful rosy lips curled in a sexy smile.

“How was that?” He asked me softly.

“Incredible,” I said, still breathless. I smiled as I looked up at him. He looked absolutely incredible. He looked so... grown up. Elio, the man, was confident and strong and... intoxicating. It was almost like falling in love with him all over again. He was the same, but oh so different.

I wanted to, no, I needed to please him. “How would you like me to -“

“Oh, no,” he said, leaning down and kissing my lips. “No, don’t worry, you don’t have to do anything.” He gave me a half smile.

My brow furrowed. “What do you mean?” I asked feeling confused.

“I mean,” he said leaning his face down close to mine, he rubbed the tip of his nose against mine and gave me a soft peck on the lips, “that you don’t have to do anything,” he said. “Except lay there and take it because I’m going to fuck you.”

 

* * *

  

_Elio_

 

I smiled as I saw the way his eyes widened the moment I said the words. He was speechless. He couldn’t think of what to say. I smiled down at him. I had never had this dominance five years ago. I absolutely loved it. I wanted him to see I wasn’t the inexperienced seventeen year old he remembered me as. I often wondered if that had been one of the main reasons he had left me. I vowed to change that now.

“May I?” I asked with a bit of a smile. He nodded. “Let me hear you say it,” I said. He opened his mouth and then closed it. I chuckled softly. “Say. It.” I whispered.

“Fuck me,” he whispered back to me. I wondered if strong, confident Oliver had ever uttered those words to another man before. I pressed my hips down on him, rubbing my erection on his skin. He moaned. “Please, fuck me,” he whispered. I smiled. I’m sure he hadn’t. I got up. I grabbed a towel from the closet and grabbed the lube from my bedside table. He sat up on the bed. He put his hand out, “Give it to me,” he said.

I handed him the lube. He put some on his hand and started stroking me, spreading the lube around me.

“Mmmmmmm,” I said leaning my head back and enjoying it. I looked down when he stopped. He wiped his hand on the towel.

I watched him as he got on the bed and laid on to his stomach. My heart could burst. I had wanted and dreamt of this moment so many times since he had left. I climbed on to the bed and knelt behind him. I put my hands on his lower back and ran my palms up and down his muscular back and shoulders. I dug my fingertips into his gorgeous skin as I came back down and then grabbed his ass. I spanked him hard.

“Ow!” He exclaimed. We both laughed. I picked up the lube and put some on my fingers. I slowly rubbed lube on him. I then slid two fingers inside him. I smiled as he moaned. I slid them in and out of him for a while. His hips rocked back and forth to meet them. I loved how his body reacted.

I slid my fingers out. I wiped them clean and then using my thumb, I pushed my erection down, placing my tip just inside of him. I saw the goosebumps across his flesh. I smiled widely.

Grabbing his hips I slid inside him slowly. We both moaned as every inch of me slid inside of him, with a slight thrust at the end, I needed to make sure all of me was in him. I took a few deep breaths. I looked down at his beautiful body. He had laid his head down, right cheek on one of the pillows. His eyes were closed and brow furrowed. There was a slight glint of sweat on his perfect features.

I felt a sudden rush of emotions. I remembered the phone call. The nights of me crying myself to sleep. The emptiness. I let out a long shaky breath. 

I started trusting in and out of him. I wanted to last a long time so I started slow, enjoying the feeling of me sliding in and out of him. He turned me on so much. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes and focused on the feeling of being inside of him. The room filled with a symphony of sounds made by our bodies, my groans and his moans. I could listen to this forever. I took my time and did so for a while longer. I looked down at his face again. He was even more beautiful than he had been five years ago.

I became hungrier for him. I felt a rush of ecstasy run through me. I couldn’t help it, I started thrusting into him hard and fast. I watched as he grabbed the edge of the mattress with both hands. He placed his palms flat against the headboard, bracing himself against my rough, hard thrust. His beautiful, strong shoulders and back flexing, his moans getting louder. I thrusted in deeper. I wanted him to feel this for a while and remember it forever.

I loved the way he moaned. I closed my eyes and focused on the sound of his moans. They were loud and beautiful and music to my ears. Then, as I thrusted in him as deep as I could, came his whimpers. I opened my eyes and looked down at him. I had never heard him whimpering before. He whimpered a few more times as I thrusted in deeply. I almost came. I had to slow down. I pulled out and leaned down over him, kissing his back. “Am I hurting you, baby?” I asked him panting.

He slid his palms down and hugged a pillow under him, again laying his right cheek on it. “I’m ok,” he said softly between pants. He hadn’t said no. I gave him a second. I kissed across his back gently for a moment, caressing his body. I needed him to enjoy this.

I straightened up and slid into him again. I was going just as hard, but taking my time between thrusts. His brow furrowed as he moaned and whimpered every time I entered him. He reached back and clasped my left hand, which was at his left hip, squeezing it. I looked down at him. He had never been more beautiful, it was almost too much for me to stand, I wasn’t sure how much longer I would last. Suddenly he came. His body shook and shivered under me. I wasn’t expecting it. I moaned loudly as his body tensed up around me. Feeling him climax was all it took for me, I came as well. It was the best orgasm I had had in five and a half years.

I fell on top of him, rubbing his sweaty skin and kissing his back. I gently slid out of him and laid beside him, on his left. I looked at his face. He still had his eyes closed and was still panting, as was I. I caressed his face. He opened his eyes and looked at me. I looked into his eyes. “Wow,” He said.

I smiled widely at him. “I’m sorry if I was a bit rough but,” I looked him straight in the eyes, shaking my head slightly, “I needed it like that after waiting for over five years.” I smiled. He gave me a small smile. Something was off. “Did you like it?” I asked him.

“I loved it,” he said softly. “So, so much,” he whispered.

“What is it then?” I asked him.

“We’ve wasted so many days,” he said softly. I felt a deep ache in my chest.

“We have,” I said caressing his face. “And I need to know why,” I whispered, my heart pounding.

Oliver closed his eyes. “I know,” was all he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s the end of the chapter!!  
> Hope you enjoyed!!!  
> I know it’s a bit of a cliffhanger but you didn’t think this could happen without some explanation from Oliver right???  
> It’s a bit long so it needed another chapter! I’ll postinf it ASAP!
> 
> Also, pls excuse the notes under these ones!! They’re from chapter One and I’m not sure why they keep popping up in each new chapter!!  
> Comments are always welcomed and thank you for the kudos! They’re 1000% appreciated!  
> Hugs <3


	8. Confessions

I took a hold of Elio’s hand. I smiled. We laid there a while. My mind was racing. I looked at him. He was looking at me. I propped myself up and lifted my left hand and traced his lips. It made me smile. I looked into his eyes. I leaned in and kissed him.

“I need to know, Oliver,” he whispered to me

I nodded. “I know,” I said again.

He sat up and leaned back against the head board. I got up on my knees and gingerly sat down beside him.

He leaned into me and we kissed. We kissed for a long while. We were panting when we stopped. I looked into his eyes. 

“Why?” He asked me softly. “I thought I was the one.”

“You were and are and will always be,” I said.

“Then why?” He asked. I sighed. I was scared. He noticed. “Please,” he said to me. “I need to know. All of it.”

I nodded. “I know,” I said. I did. I knew this. But me knowing didn’t make it any easier.

“Ok,” he replied.

“I don’t even know where to start,” I whispered. 

“At the beginning,” he said.

“On the flight back all I could think about was you and what we had and I couldn’t believe I found you,” I said. “I came back and I thought, this is it, I’m packing, I’m going back to Italy.” My heart was pounding. “I came back and I literally started packing. My mother walked into the room and asked me what I was doing. I actually was honest, I said I’ve fallen in love and I’m going back.” I looked at Elio and then down at my hands. 

“She said, why would you go back? You’re from a rich American family, I’m sure ‘she’ would love to come here. She also mentioned how I was almost done with school. She asked me if I was just throwing my time in school away. I said no, I love it there I want to go back and I would figure it out. She asked me how old is ‘she’? And I made the mistake of being honest then.” I shook my head. I couldn’t quite look at him right now.

“I told her 17 and she laughed. And said ‘think of you at 17, Oliver, someone that young isn’t old enough to know what they want’ and she just started playing at all my insecurities.” I felt the tears on my face. I wiped them away quickly.

“I know it may sound like she said it and I believed it, but no, I was already worried about taking those years, where you should be exploring and trying to figure out who you are and what you want, away from you. I mean, what if you wanted children? What if you didn’t want to be with a man? What if I wasn’t the one for you?” I let our a long sigh. “I was, I am, so I love with you Elio. How could I tie you down and chain you to me? At your age I wasn’t even sure who the fuck _I_ was, so how could I expect you to settle down and be tied down to me? What if you grew to hate me for it?” I looked at him as I wiped my face. I saw tears roll down his face too. 

“There were so many ‘what ifs’ and so much uncertainty. We had this perfect moment in this perfect time in this perfect town, we had this perfectly protected bubble. I was worried once we were out in the real world, you could change your mind,” I glanced at him but he wasn’t looking my way. “My mother just came along and said all the things I was afraid of out loud.” I looked up at the ceiling.

“That was always her specialty, knowing what I was afraid of most and using it against me. She knew too that she was breaking me down. She told me to stop being an idiot and said I was expected to marry the year after, she mentioned -“

“Don’t say her name,” Elio said softly. He had his eyes closed.

“Sorry,” I said.

“It’s fine. Keep going,” he said.

“So my mother just said that we had been dating for three years. But we were on a break when I was in Italy which my mother knew. She then switched gears and asked me where would I finish school at. I was already enrolled here and tuition had been paid. She asked me how I was going to maintain you, if your parents would be happy maintaining a university drop out,” I wiped my tears away. “It was relentless and it was everything I was scared of. I had no idea what to do,” I said. I sighed. “Of course, those issues were something then there was the fact that we’re both men and... well, the world isn’t a welcoming place for us.” I said with a shaky voice. “I was scared, Elio,” I said, my voice breaking. “I was scared and didn’t know how I would keep you happy and protected.”

I looked at Elio’s tear stained face. “So I stopped packing,” I whispered. “And the rest, as they say, is history.” I said.

Elio nodded and wiped away his tears, still not looking at me.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough back then,” I said to him squeezing his hand. “I convinced myself you would be ok. You were still so young and had your whole life ahead of you.I knew I was never going to be, but when I thought of you and your parents and Italy, it was so perfect.” I sighed. “I felt, also, at the end of the day, I wasn’t deserving of someone as perfect as you.” I said, shaking my head. It was the truth.

“Well, the fact of whether you were deserving of me or not, that was also up to me, not just you. It should have been 50/50. Just like all your other what if’s,” Elio said to me. “You could have asked.”

“I knew what your answers would be,” I told him. He looked at me disapprovingly. “But, Elio,” we looked into each other’s eyes, “You were only seventeen and -“

“And yet me being seventeen didn’t stop you from fucking me,” he said sounding angry.

I sighed. “I tried to keep my distance in the beginning, I really did. You know that! But once I got to know you I just fell head over heels for you,” I said. “But you’re right, your age wasn’t an issue while I was making love to you.” 

“You could have told me all this back then!” He said. He let go of my hand and got up, kneeling in front of me to my right. He sat down on his feet. “You know that right?” He said to me, narrowing his eyes.

“How could I burden you with all of that?” I said to him, feeling slightly angry. “I was trying to protect you from all of that!”

His eyes widened. “Are you kidding me? Protect me! You left Oliver! Let that sink in! You fucking left!” His chin trembled. “You have no fucking idea how many nights I cried,” he whispered. He started to cry now.

“Elio, I’m -“

“No. No, you had your turn now it’s mine!” He exclaimed pointing at his chest. “I cried myself to sleep countless nights. I felt empty. I thought I was never going to be happy again.” Tears were streaming down his face. “You ripped my heart out of my chest,” he looked at me. I couldn’t stand this.

“Elio, please, I -“

“I was never whole again since you left,” he said. “I gave you absolutely everything I had, I gave you my heart. Then, you fucking left and as if that wasn’t bad enough, you decided to marry someone ELSE!” The hurt and anger in his face froze me.

He turned and went to sit at the edge of the bed. I said nothing. I was so ashamed. We sat in silence for a moment. After a while I heard him sigh. “So, if you had come back to be with me, what would have happen with your parents?” He asked, still not facing me.

“If my parents knew I was with a man it would be the last day I ever spoke to them,” I said.

He sighed. I heard him say something but couldn’t make it out. “What?” I asked him.

“I asked, do you have children now?” He said loudly.

“Yes,” I replied.

I saw him hunch over and watched as his back shook as he cried. I got up and sat by him and tried to hold him but he pushed me away. I dropped my arms but stayed sitting beside him. I didn’t move.

He finally calmed. “My father always said being a father was the most important job in the world,” he said  

“I know. He’s told me that too,” I said softly.

He leaned against me and laid his head on my left shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him. I held him for a long while.

Finally he sighed and sat up. He looked at me. I wiped the tears away from his face. “And now you’re here,” I said to him. He was beautiful even with a tear stained face.

“For 21 more days only,” he said. He took a deep breath in and out.

“I know,” I said. “I’ll take that. Gladly.” I took his hand. “Please,” I looked into his eyes. “I want to make the most of these 21 days,” I said.

He looked at me and nodded and smiled. “I do too,” he said. “Because I have no idea what will happen after,” he said shrugging.

“I know,” I said.

 

We had gotten up and showered together and then gotten dressed. I finally went and made him the chicken pot pie I had been meaning to make him. When it was finally done, we ate it and then sat at the dining room table. It meant the world to me when he reached for me and held my hand.

“So,” I said to him. “Will you apply for UCLA?” I asked him.

“I think so,” he said. “I wasn’t sure what to do after I finished school so I don’t want to close any doors,” he said.

“Very smart of you,” I said nodding. “So, you may be living in the states!” I said smiling. I couldn’t help but really want that to be true. 

“Maybe,” he said. “But, lets not get ahead of ourselves,” he said softly. I nodded. It made sense. How could he plan a future with a married man? And before I could plan a future with him, I had to be divorced.

We sat and chatted and enjoyed our time together. We were feeling more at ease.

“So, those papers of yours, when do you have to grade them?”

“This week,” I said. “I have to turn them in on Friday.”

 

* * *

 

Monday night after I had left I could think of nothing but him and how much I needed him. Tuesday morning, I wrapped him in my arms the moment we shut the door. I loved the taste of his lips and mouth. I couldn’t wait to taste them again. I started undressing him in the entrance hallway and we lost pieces of clothing as we made our way to the bedroom.

“It’s my turn, please baby,” I said panting as I pulled him to the bed. “Please, please, please,” I begged him.

He laughed softly and nodded. I grabbed him and pulled him to me as I kissed his perfect beautiful lips. I turned him around and grabbed his wrists, placing his hands on the headboard.

“Stay!” I growled at him, teeth clenched.

“Yes, daddy,” I heard Elio say. I looked at him. He had never ever called me that before. He had a gorgeous smile on his face. He winked at me. I got even harder.

“You’re so going to get it,” I said to him as I reached for the lube.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m hoping,” he said smiling wider at me. I lathered the lube on myself. I couldn’t believe how turned on I was. I went and knelt behind him. I looked at his beautiful, smooth back, the porcelain skin, the dark curls. I ran my left hand fingertips down his spine. I rubbed lube on him with my right hand and slowly inserted a finger in him.

His moan made me smile. I leaned over and kissed across his right shoulder. I inserted two fingers. I slid them in and out, stretching and caressing inside him. I slid them out and quickly slid myself in. I couldn’t wait any longer. I wrapped my left arm around him, placing my palm flat on the center of his chest. I pressed his back to my chest.

I felt so... complete. “Elio,” I moaned in his ear.

He leaned his head back. I kissed down his beautiful exposed neck. “Mmmmm,” I heard him moaning.

I reached down with my right hand and started stroking him. I fucked him rough and hard. I couldn’t hold back. I was unable to. He made me loose all control. I held him tight and close to me as I thrusted into him and released all the emotions I had held pent up in me for all these years. I came quite quickly.

I slipped out of him and laid on the bed beside him. I grabbed his right thigh and pulled him over my chest. He looked down at me and smiled and he pushed his erection down so I could take him in my mouth.

He moaned as I sucked him. I felt him roll and thrust his hips in pleasure. I caressed his thighs and grabbed him from behind, pushing him into my mouth. I looked up at him. He was pure perfection. I felt his body begin to tense and I sucked with more earnest. I ran my right hand up his firm abdomen. I loved the way his muscles flexed. Then I felt his release. I swallowed every drop. His moans were intoxicating.

He fell over beside me, panting.

“Do you need more lube?” I asked him.

“What?” He said opening his eyes and panting.

“I asked if you need more lube,” I said as I turned him on to his stomach. “I’m ready for round two.”

I got behind him and spread his knees with mine. “You’re hard again already?” He asked sounding surprised and looking back at me.

“You have that effect on me,” I said winking at him. He smiled and turned back around. I entered him again.

 

* * *

 

Wednesday morning Elio had his meeting at the recording studio. He looked amazing in black jeans, a white crew neck and a leather jacket. I stared at him as he walked down the hallway towards the living room. He looked at my face and looked down at himself. “What? Should I change?” He asked.

“No,” I shook my head. “You look so fucking sexy!” I said. He laughed and punched me lightly in the bicep.

We drove to the recording studio in LA. Once we got there, I walked in with him and waited at the lobby reading The Rolling Stone magazines they had. The lady at the desk was pleasant and brought me coffee and we chatted for a while. Elio was there almost two hours. When he came out he had a big smile on his face, holding a VHS. 

“So what happened?” I asked when we stepped out.

“I played for him and we talked about some ideas. He wants me to compose three songs and have them ready by February. He’s gonna go to Italy and meet me to hear them,” he said.

“That’s amazing!” I told him beaming down at him. 

“He gave me a copy of the documentary,” he said. “For my eyes only.” He winked at me smiling.

“Understood!” I said, holding my hands up.

He nodded. “Wanna get something to eat around here?” He asked.

I took him to a steakhouse in the area. We sat outside in the terrace. I watched him as he spoke to me of the ideas he had of the music he wanted to compose. He was just... dreamy. I couldn’t believe it. I felt like a teenage boy full of adoration. I smiled and listening to him and took all of him in.

 

* * *

 

On Thursday I drove Elio to his rehearsal and made sure I had everything graded before I returned to pick him up.

Friday morning I dropped off the graded papers. I returned to the condo.

“Another concert tonight,” he said. I nodded and smiled. He grabbed my hand and led me to the bedroom. “I need to let off some steam,” he said. I laughed.

“Do what you must,” I said to him as he grabbed me and kissed me.

 

When we finally got out of the bedroom, I cooked him something to eat. He ate two servings. Later on, I helped him pick out a suit and helped him with his tie. We then made our way to LA. I decided to not go backstage this time. I didn’t want any issues with Stacey, she was his colleague, in spite of everything, I would not and could not be the cause of any problems there. 

The concert started. It was just as magical as the first two, maybe even better. He was magnificent. I sighed when it was over. I stood up and clapped with everyone else. Elio searched the crowd in my area and found me. He puts his hands to his lips and blew a kiss in my direction. In one hand, I had never been happier. On the other hand, I was also growing sad. There were just two more concerts to go.

 

* * *

 

I pulled into my driveway later on that night. I sat out there for a while. I finally got out and stepped in. I was surprised to see the kitchen light on. I walked through the living room and saw Karen at the kitchen counter with a mug in one hand and a book in the other. 

“Hey,” she said when she saw me.

“Hey,” I said.

“How was the concert?” She asked.

“Amazing,” I said smiling. “Can’t sleep?” I asked.

“I’m close to the end of the book. I wanna finish it tonight with everything happening next week I won’t have time to finish it,” she said.

“Everything happening?” I asked. “You mean Christmas? That’s nine days away,” I said.

She took a deep breath and put her book down. She gave me the look she always gave me when she was about to drop some news on me I wasn’t going to like. “My mother is staying the whole week,” she said. 

“What!?” I asked. I felt anger surge in me. “Karen she lives like thirty minutes away! Why can’t she just visit and go when I come home?”

She rolled her eyes. “If we were in New England still and your mother wanted to come over and stay you wouldn’t say no!” She said to me. “Plus, like you said, you’re gone all day. You’ll just have to deal at dinner time. Play with the boys.” She sighed. “She wants to decorate the house more,” she said quietly giving me a glance sideways.

“You mean she wants to make sure there are no signs on Hanukah around!” I said louder than I intended. Ben’s faint cries came from upstairs. 

“Great!” Karen said giving me a look of utter frustration.

“Im sorry,” I said. “I’ll go. I’ll go. Finish your book.”

 

I quickly went upstairs and into Ben’s room. I walked over and picked him up from his crib, bouncing him gently as I patted his back. “It’s ok, buddy. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Daddy was too loud. I’m sorry.” I took a deep breath. I held him a while. I felt him relaxing. I changed his diaper and sat with him in the rocking chair. I was in his room for at least 45 minutes until he fell back sleep.

I gently put him down and walked down the hallway to my room. Karen was in the bed with her book. She didn’t look up when I walked in or when I changed or when I got into bed. 

I laid with my back to her. “She’s coming Sunday,” she said. “If you want to go out Sunday that would be ok.”

I sighed. “No, I need to spend time with the boys too,” I said.

She sighed. “This is only because it’s Christmas,” she said. “You know this.”

“I know,” I said.

“Once the holidays are over we’ll go back to only seeing them for the boy’s birthdays and random weekends.”

I nodded. “Wouldn’t she want to go shopping or something on Sunday?” I asked softly.

“Maybe, I’ll see if I can get her out of the house then so you can have some time with just you and the babies,” she said.

“Thank you.” I said. I turned to look at her. “Wait, what about your dad?”

She shrugged. “Don’t know.” She said. “He’s not staying but he’ll be here Christmas,” she said.

I sighed and turned back around. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep soon after. I was sleeping a lot better since Monday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok! So that’s the end of the chapter! Thoughts? Let me know! I’ll be posting another chapter ASAP!  
> Hugs <3


	9. Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!  
> I’m posting two chapters tonight so that you had an idea of where the story is going ;)  
> Hope you enjoy!  
> All comments and kudos are welcomed and 1000% appreciated!  
> Hugs! <3

I slept in Saturday and had a really relaxing day. Sunday I prepared myself for Karen’s mother. I was going to try my best to be pleasant and would just work at keeping the boys entertained and try to stay out of the way. 

“Oh, did you dress Benjamin?” She asked me as she walked in when I opened the door as I held him.

“I did,” I said.

She nodded and looked at Karen, “You know it’s a woman’s job to dress the children. Our men don’t know how to match anything properly. Why don’t you change him?” She said to Karen. She nodded and took Ben from me and walked upstairs to change his clothes. It was easier to do that than to argue.

 

* * *

 

I finally took Elio to the Griffith Conservatory Monday night, I told Karen I was taking my visiting friend sight seeing so it wasn’t weird that I was out late.

 

Tuesday we stayed in. He played the piano as I cooked. I was done and walked over to him. I caressed his shoulders and back. He stopped playing and turned around on the bench. He grabbed my hands and kissed them. I looked down at him.

“You’re an amazing man,” I said to him.

He smiled widely at me and stood up. “Thank you,” he whispered to me.

We walked to the dining room table. I served us food and sat down beside him. I watched him as he ate. “This is so good,” he said, devouring it. I smiled and held his hand. He made me so happy.

“So, I bet your cooking is always requested at home,” he said apprehensively. I knew it was a hard subject. 

I squeezed his hand. “I don’t cook at home,” I said quietly.

“But you love to cook,” he said shaking his head and sounding confused. “I can tell.”

I just smiled said nothing and kept eating. He didn’t say anything else.

 

Wednesday we went to Los Angeles County Museum of Art. We strolled around and looked at the exhibitions.

I looked at him. “Compared to all the art galleries and museums you’ve been to in Europe I’m not sure how this compares,” I said. 

He chuckled and shook his head. “But I haven’t been to any of them with you,” he said. “So there is no real comparison.”

 

Thursday morning we spent talking. We reminisced about Crema and he told me more about his years after. The more time I spent with him the more I noticed and loved all the changes in him from these last few years. The sweet awkwardness was gone. He was a confident, charismatic young man. I was so amazed by him. 

I dropped him off at rehearsal. I had to return home afterwards. We were having people over for an early Christmas dinner. Elio told me he would see me tomorrow.

 

The following day was his fourth concert. We spent time together before as always and then we drove into LA. For his encore he played a beautiful rendition of Il Suspiro. I didn’t even realize I was crying until the lady beside me tapped my elbow and handed me a tissue.

“I always get emotional as well,” she said to me as I smiled and thanked her.

 

* * *

 

The Sunday after was Christmas. Michael truly enjoyed this Christmas. He was overjoyed by the amount of Superman toys he got. Ben was too little to know what was going on. He enjoyed tearing up the wrapping paper.

The day after Christmas was Karen’s mother’s last day with us and I couldn’t be happier. Karen spent the whole day out with her with was more than fine with me. During a quiet moment, while Ben was down for his nap and Michael was quietly playing I gave Elio a call.

“Hey,” I said when he picked up. “How are you? What you been up to?”

“I’m good. I went to a Christmas party I was invited to by some people at the orchestra,” he said.

“Oh that’s good,” I said. “Was it fun?” I suddenly wondered if Stacey had been there. I pushed that thought aside. I was being ridiculous.

“It was,” he said.

“So, tomorrow is your birthday,” I said with a smile.

“Yeah,” he said.

“Ok so, we have to celebrate,” I said.

I heard him laugh. “If you insist,” he said. “But you don’t have to get me anything,” he said.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” I said with a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Ok, see you tomorrow.” He replied. “Bye.”

“Later!”

 

* * *

 

The morning if Elio’s 23rd Birthday I woke up with butterflies in my stomach. I had mentioned to Karen that it was a friend’s birthday and I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it to dinner. She just nodded and said it was fine. She said her cousin and her had something planned to do with the kids and she didn’t think I would have enjoyed it anyway. I said ok.

I ran by the jewelry store on Wilshire where I had ordered Elio’s birthday present from.

“Oliver! How are you? I have your order ready! 

“Fredrick! Hi. Thank you, I can’t wait to see it,” I said smiling at the jeweler. He showed me it. “It’s perfect. Thank you,” I said shaking his hand.

The butterflies continued as I drove to the condo. I know he had told me not to get him anything but how could I not? This could be the only birthday of his we got to spend together.

I knocked on his door. He opened it and gave me his big happy smile.

“Happy Birthday!” I held out the present.

“Aargh!! I told you, you didn’t have to get me anything!” He said as he grabbed the bag from my hand. I stepped in and he closed the door behind me.

“Yeah I know you did,” I gave him a hug and a kiss, “but I’m not a good listener.”

We walked in and sat down on the couch. He looked at me and took the tissue paper out of the bag and then reached in and pulled out the square box. I looked at him intently. I smiled when he looked up at it and I could see he liked it. 

He took the watch out of the box.

“Turn it over,” I said.

He did and read the engraving, “Cor Cordium,” he smiled and looked at me. “Heart Of Hearts. Thank you, Oliver.”

He leaned over and kissed me. I held him in my arms.

Soon after he got a phone call from his parents to wish him a happy birthday. He told them I was there and I could hear their joy. He handed me the phone and his mom said she was so happy he was spending his birthday with me. I chatted with both his parents a while. They were warm and wonderful as always.

Once we had hung up I turned back to him. I kissed him and held him tightly. “Happy birthday, Elio,” I whispered softly.

I took him to a restaurant I loved by the Ventura Pier. We then returned to his place and spent a few hours in bed. He fell sleep for a while. I watched him as he slept. I cried quietly for a while. I had told him why I had left back in ‘83, but looking at him now, nothing seemed worth it. None of those reasons made sense. I wiped my face and leaned back on the headboard. We had less than a week left.

 

* * *

 

His last concert, the day before New Year’s Eve, was bittersweet. I had heard the parts of the concert that he practiced at the condo and told me how he wanted to improve even though to me it all sounded perfect. His last concert was his best. When it was time for the encore he played a piece I couldn’t recall the name to even though it sounded familiar, like a distant memory. I was drawn in and felt as if he was playing only for me. Elio took his final bow. His inevitable departure was looming large.

 

* * *

 

It bothered me more than I imagine not to be spending New Year’s Eve with Elio. He had told me that the conductor was having a party somewhere in Hollywood so I’m sure he was having a blast. I gave Karen a kiss and hugged her and wondered who Elio was kissing that night.

I had told Karen my friend was leaving Monday and I wanted to take him to the airport but that I wanted to take him out for lunch first. She told me that was fine.

 

* * *

I got up Monday with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I went for my jog and tried to think about what I wanted to say to Elio before he left. I practiced a few things but nothing felt right. Even watching the fog rising from the mountains didn’t calm me this time. I was a mess.

I did my best to regain my composure on the drive to his place. I passed by the restaurant I had taken him to the first time we had lunch together. I picked up our lunch. I also picked up a bottle of wine and headed to his place.

“You look good,” Elio said smiling at me as I walked into his place. I smiled back and started taking the food out. He grabbed some glasses and we sat down to eat.

“Elio,” I could feel myself not able to hold back, “I’m sorry I left and never came back. I’m sorry I’m married, I’m sorry I-“

“Oliver, stop.” His brow was furrowed, he was clearly frustrated. “I have five and a half hours left with you. I’m not going to spend them talking about her or all the mistakes of the past. Not now!”

He let out a sigh. He looked at me and his expression softened. He reached for my hand and took it. He lifted it to his lips and kissed it.

I smiled at him and we continued our lunch. After we had eaten we laid in bed for a moment. We had undressed but had only held each other. I closed my eyes and tried to remember everything about him and how he felt in my arms.

“When the time comes, please don’t cry,” he whispered to me.

“I won’t,” I whispered back. I kissed his forehead and pulled him close to me.

“I love being this close to you,” he said looking up at me. “I feel as I’m breathing you in and breathing me out.”

I smiled. “You will always live inside me,” I said.

“And you in me,” he whispered back. “In my heart.”

“And you in mine,” I whispered softly, “My heart of hearts.”

 

* * *

 

We had put his luggage in my trunk and we were making our to LAX.

“So, you had asked me, that first day after lunch, if I was trying to convince you to come to UCLA in the fall,” I glanced over at him.

“Yes... are you ready to admit that you were now?” He rubbed his palms together with an ‘I knew it’ look on his face.

I laughed. “Well.. Lidia _may_ have mentioned it to me the night of the first concert so I _may_ have thought about why UCLA may be the best fit for you to continue your studies at, so I was really just looking out for your best interest!”

He shook his head with a smile and fiddled around with the radio.

“Oh YES!” He yelled out, blasting the radio.

“LOVE MY WAY, IT’S A NEW ROAD! I FOLLOW WHERE MY MIND GOES!”

I was laughing so hard. Elio had his arms up in the air and he was bouncing all I round the passenger seat singing at the top of his lungs.

“Come on, Oliver, let loose! I know you can! I’ve seen you do it!”

“I’m driving you goose!”

Elio kept singing and dancing. My Elio. I was going to miss him. I really hoped fate would smile down on me again and send him back to me soon.

* * *

 

I sat with him at the terminal as his flight was waiting to board.

“So you’ll write to me?” He asked softly.

“Yes, every day. And you better write back quick because I’ll be asking your advice on future lectures and I’ll need your input ASAP.” I said to him smiling.

“Ha ha,” he laughed looking at me.

“So you have my number at work and my number at home. Anything you need, just call.”

“I will.” He said.

“Hey, I was meaning to ask, what was the name of the last encore you preformed?”

“Oh... that was Ravel. Une Barque Sur L’Océan,” he said smiling. “I would play it in Italy before we kissed and daydream about what kissing you would be like. Then we did kiss and I played it remembering what kissing you was like. Then we slept together and then you lift and I played it remembered what being with you was like,” he was looking at me. I stared at him in awe. “Now I have new memories to play it to,” he said softly.  

I was blown away, but I shouldn’t have been. He was amazing in every way. I had no idea what to say to that. “I felt like you were playing it just for me,” I whispered. 

”I was,” he said.

 

They started boarding his flight and we stood up. I wrapped him in my arms and held him tight. I felt my throat tighten. 

“Let me know when you’ve landed safely.” I said.

“I will.” He replied. 

I pulled back, “Later,” I said smiling.

He nodded, a gorgeous smile spread across his lips. “Later,” he said to me.

He picked up his carry on and walked away. I watched as he showed his ticket and passport. He looked back and gave me a wink and a smile and boarded his flight.

I kept my promise and didn’t cry.


	10. Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!  
> I’ve posted two chapters tonight so make sure you’ve caught up on all chapters before reading this one!  
> Hope you enjoy!  
> Hugs <3

I somehow wished that the drive back home from the airport lasted forever. If it did then I wouldn’t have to deal with what had just happened.

Eventually though, I did make it home. When I walked in, the house was dark and silent. I turned on the Christmas tree lights. After taking my jacket off, I walked over to the hall table by the stairs, there was a note beside the phone from Karen.

 

> Hey!
> 
> Mom and dad came over and are spending the night. We decided to go out for pizza. We’ll bring some home for you in case you’re hungry. 
> 
> See you soon,
> 
> K.

 

I didn’t mind. I actually didn’t want to talk to anyone. I sat on the couch with just the glow of the Christmas tree illuminating the living room. I leaned my head back.

I had to sort out what I was feeling and what was going on. For the past three weeks Elio had shown me more decency than I deserved. I loved him and he loved me. This was a fact. I wanted to be with him and he wanted to be with me. This, too, was a fact. But I was married and the parent of two children.

Even if Elio hadn’t come back, I knew my marriage to Karen would still be in the deplorable state that it was. We weren’t happy. I knew I wanted out of this marriage. How would it affect our children? How would mine and Karen’s parents react to the divorce? If Elio did come back, how would Karen react when she found out about Elio? I had never heard her make remarks about anyone’s sexuality but that didn’t mean that she may not try to forbid me from seeing my sons if she knew I was with a man. I would have to fight for custody in court. Would I find a lawyer that would defend me in court once they knew I lived with another man?

The tears came. Thank god no one was home. I held nothing back. I wanted to get it all out. I cried and cried until I had nothing left. I went upstairs and took a hot shower and got into bed, exhausted.

I slept the whole night through and didn’t hear when everyone else got back home and never felt when Karen got in bed. 

 

* * *

The next day Karen had decided to make a huge brunch. I asked her if I could help and she asked me to just keep Michael and Ben in the living while she cooked.

I picked them up and ran into the living with them. Michael put his arms out like he was Superman. Karen’s dad was on the couch reading the paper.

The phone rang and I put Michael down. I went to pick up the phone. 

“Hello?”

“Hey.” My stomach flipped. It was Elio.

“Hey! How are you? How was your flight?” I asked quietly as I turned my back to Karen’s father.

“It was ok. I actually slept for most of it. Just wanted to let you know that I was home safe and sound.”

“Thanks for letting me know.” I was almost whispering.

“I.. I was thinking, I know you asked me to write back but... are you sure it’s ok if I write back to you?”

“Yes. I get a lot of mail from lots of places because of work. Please do, unless it makes you uncomfortable.”

Silence.

“Listen,” I closed my eyes, “don’t do anything you don’t want to do. I respect whatever choice you make.”

“Ok. But you can write to me. Please. I’m looking forward to it.”

“I will.”

“Promise?”

“Yes.”

“Ok. I’ll be waiting. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I hung up and turned around. Michael was climbing all over his grandfather trying to convince him to fly him like Superman.

“Come here buddy!”

I scooped him up and tucked him under my arm. I picked up Ben with the other. They giggled as I ran around the couch. Michael stretched his arms out. “Yeah daddy I’m Superman!”

 

* * *

 

I had written to Elio at least three times a week since he had left. There were weeks I wrote everyday depending on what was going on. I’d make a weekly trip to the post office every Friday afternoon.

Last week of February I receive an envelope addressed to me from Elio’s father. Inside were two letters, one form Mr. Perlman and one from Elio.

 

> Oliver,
> 
> I hope this letter finds you well. I have received all of your letters and I have written replies to all of them, which I hope to give to you one day.
> 
> From March on I’ll be home every weekend, if you ever have the chance, give me a call.
> 
> I’m a few months away from finishing my Masters and I couldn’t be more excited. I’ll be making my mind up about UCLA before the end of April.
> 
> Hope to hear from you soon,
> 
> Elio

 

It was bittersweet. I finally had contact with him but he was afraid Karen would find his letters if he mailed them. He had fear of a person he had never even met and it was all because of me.

I didn’t write for two weeks after that. I struggled with the guilt of what I was putting him through. It was unfair to him. The week after, I had written him letters but had not sent them. I finally sent him two weeks worth of letters a month after receiving his. One of them was simply “I’m sorry.”

After that I picked up writing to him as I had in the beginning, at least three days a week and sending them off every Friday. I heard nothing from him until a letter came addressed to me with no return address on the third week of May, I opened it the moment I saw it. I really hoped it was him.

 

 

> Oliver,
> 
> I’ve made up my mind about UCLA. I’d like to tell you on the phone.
> 
> I’m home every weekend. Call me when you can.
> 
> Elio

 

My heart skipped a beat. Today was only Wednesday. Saturday seemed a million years away. The next 48 hours passed in a haze. I was just going through the motions. I decided to write one more letter before calling him on Saturday.

 

> Elio,
> 
> I’ve received your letter and am waiting to call you Saturday morning. If this is the last letter I write then it means you’ll be back in LA soon... if not, well then I’ll be writing to you until I see you again. 
> 
> Best wishes always,
> 
> Oliver

 

I dropped them off as was my custom on the way home Friday. Finally, it was night time. I couldn’t sleep. I wondered how early I could call. He was nine hours ahead. I decided I would call at 3:00 am Saturday morning. It would be noon in Italy. I laid in bed, literally waiting for time to go by. At 2:55 am I got up. Karen was fast sleep. I quietly walked down the hallway and down the stairs. At 3:00 am I picked up the phone and called Elio.

“Pronto.”

My heart skipped a beat.

“Hey, I got your letter. How are you?” I whispered. My heart was now pounding.

“Oliver! What are... Oliver it’s the middle of the night there!”

“Don’t be so dramatic it’s 3:03 am. It’s early morning... sort of,” I said.

“Either way, that’s insane!”

“What’s insane is that you’re not telling me what you decided to do about UCLA!”

“Sorry! Sorry. Ok.” He sighed. “Well, I’m sorry, I’ve decided not to go.”

“Oh,” My heart sank. I was so disappointed. I knew it was a long shot but it was still hard to hear. “Ok. I understand.” I was breathing fast. I didn’t want to cry on the phone. I tried to swallow to fight the lump I felt in my throat.

“No, you _don’t_ understand.” He said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well, I turned it down because I got an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

“What was that?” I imagine someone proposing marriage to him. Of course, that must be it. Maybe he had returned with that French boy he had told me about.

“Well, David from the recording studio, came to see me in February and he really liked the songs I had composed. He’s using two of them. I’m actually going to record them in LA. He also said once I’m there we will discuss future projects he has planned that he wants me to be a part of.” I could hear the elation in his voice. I was speechless. “BUT,” he continued, laughing. “As if that wasn’t good enough, when I called the conductor to tell him the news, he offered me the permanent position of pianist with the orchestra!” He laughed. “It’s all my dreams come true Oliver. Everything. The concert playing and composing. It’s all I had ever wanted and have worked so hard for. I’ll be leaving for LA on June 10th. In three weeks.”

I almost dropped the phone. My hands and knees were literally shaking.

“Oliver? You there?”

“Yes. Yes, I’m here.”

“Ok, so I’ll be there in three weeks.”

“Ok.” Three weeks. Twenty one days.

“Ok. Are you ok with that?”

“More than you could ever know.”

“Ok, just... you didn’t sound like it.”

“Well, it is 3:12 am here. I couldn’t really start shouting from the rooftops, I’ll wake up the neighbors. But I will definitely leap for joy when I see you in three weeks.”

“Ha ha. Get back to bed! I’ll be staying at the same place again. I’ll give you a call when I get there.”

“Did you need me to pick you up?”

“No that’ll all be arranged for me. I’ll give you a call once I’m settled, time permitting that is. I’m arriving late Saturday so I’ll give you a call Sunday.”

“Ok. Later!” I said smiling.

“Ha ha. Later!” He said.

I hung up. I was in a daze. A happy one. I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. I leaned my head back. I remembered that night after dropping Elio off at the airport a little over five months ago. I had sat right here and felt such despair, and now... and now I had a chance at being happy and having everything I ever wanted in life and this time, unlike five years ago, I was going to be brave enough to go after it. I would figure out a way.


	11. An Honest Try

_June 12, 1989_

  

_Elio_

 

I woke up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I reached over for my watch and saw it was 11:15 am. I turned it around and read the engraving. “Cor Cordium” I smiled as I rubbed my thumb on it.

I was back in Los Angeles. I felt this was the right move. I had never imagined this would happen. When David flew to Italy and heard my music he told me right away he wanted to record two of the songs. I said I would love to and asked him when and where. He had said he needed to get other people sorted out, that I was the first on board for the project but he estimated the recording would happen last week of June in LA.

“We’re recording in Los Angeles?” I asked him.

“Well, that’s where my studio is, is that a problem?” He asked.

“Of course not! I can’t wait!” I said and I had meant it.

I had called the conductor with the news the next day. He had laughed and had said,

“Well, perfect timing then!”

“Perfect timing for what?” I asked.

He had then offered me the job. I was even more shocked than when he had asked me on as guest. He had said there was no doubt in his mind as I had done so well the weeks I was with them. He called it a ‘working interview’ and he said I passed with flying colors.

I smiled as I remembered telling my parents and Mafalda. I called Marzia. It took me three times trying to call her till she answered, she was in Greece with her husband at the time, and then I wrote the letter to Oliver. I knew I couldn’t see his face but hearing him on the phone when I told him the news was the next best thing. He had been so shocked. I loved surprising him.

I got up and showered. I figured I’d call him when I got out. In the shower I remembered how anxious I was to call him to let him know I landed safely back in Italy. I remembered thinking if she had picked up I would just hang up right away. I half wondered if I would hang up today in case she answered. I remember when Oliver had called her the first day he had come over and had casually said he was having dinner with a friend. If she asked who had called he could say a friend. A friend. It stung but, I let it go.

I didn’t worry too much about that now, I had too many new things happening. Plus, I couldn’t force anything. Things were different this time around. I wasn’t just here for a few days anymore. I sighed. I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. I had started drying myself off when I heard someone knocking on my door.

I wondered if the conductor had dropped by. I didn’t think so because when he came by he would call me before hand and then let himself in, it was his place after all. I wrapped the towel round my hips and walked down the hall towards the entrance hallway. I opened the door. 

There stood Oliver looking like a summer god. Blonde hair, blue eyes, fitted blue polo and jeans. He was holding up a bag, which I could see was take out from the restaurant he had taken me to the first day we had lunch.

He looked me up and down and I enjoyed the look he gave me. “Please, come on in,” I stood aside.

He stepped in and I shut the door. He opened up his arms and started pulling me into them. “Are you sure you want to hug me? I’m still kind of wet.”

“Even better,” his lips tickled my right ear as he held me tight. I felt his right hand rub up and down my back. “God you smell good,” he said as he kissed down my neck. He pulled back, his face was inches from mine. I looked into his eyes and smiled. I knew he wanted me and it thrilled me to no end.

“Well, this is a pleasant surprise,” I said. 

He leaned down and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around him. We kissed for a while. We then pulled apart and he held my gaze for a few seconds more, smiling and rubbing my back before making his way to the kitchen. I had gotten his shirt wet. “I know you told me you were going to call but I couldn’t wait to see you. So, I got us our favorite lunches and here I am!”

I followed him. “Thank you, Oliver. Let me go get dressed.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he said looking me up and down again.

“I feel like we’ve had this conversation before,” I said laughing

“Well, you keep wanting to greet me at the door in a towel only,” He said winking at me.

I shook my head and started walking towards the bedroom. “I’ll be right back!” I called out. 

I grabbed some comfortable jogging pants, decided to not put a shirt on and combed my hair. When I came back out he had set the dining room table. He even had candles and wine.

“Oh wow, I’m under dressed!”

Oliver looked up from setting the wine glasses down and said “Be quiet, you’re perfect. Like always.”

I smiled at him. 

“Hey there was a car parked where I normally park,” he said pouring the wine. “I parked beside it, but who’s car is that?”

“Mine,” I said with a wink.

“Well,” he flashed me his beautiful smile, “nice convertible,” he said. 

We sat down. I looked at him and took his hand. “Thank you. So, so much. This means so much to me.”

“You’re worth all this and more.” He said and kissed the back of my hand.

 

We ate and chatted and I filled him in more on how everything had happened. I loved how he gave me his full attention and smiled and looked so proud. He even said it.

“I am so damn proud of you, Elio. You’re beyond amazing,” he said.

“Thank you,” I said.

“So, you’re gonna have a busy summer ahead aren’t you?”

I nodded. “I’m not a guest pianist any more so I’ll be performing in a lot more concerts. They let us know our concert dates two and a half months ahead of time so I have the schedule until Labor Day weekend. I play at least three concerts a week, sometimes we play five days in a row,” I said.

“Wow, ok,” he nodded.

“So, more rehearsals and I have the recording session in two weeks. David also said we would talk about future endeavors so I really hope that means more composing. Which would be amazing,” I said. 

“Yes! Yes it would be!” Oliver agreed.

“I also need to find my own place,” I said. “I can’t stay here forever.”

“Right,” Oliver said. “Are you thinking of staying in this area?” He asked me.

“Well, it would make sense,” I said. “I’ll be close to where I work. I’m going to talk to some  people at work to get an idea of the nice areas around.” 

“That would be good,” he nodded.

“Where do you live?” I asked him.

“You have my address,” he said looking at me and chuckling. 

“I know but I’m not familiar with the area,” I said. “How far away are you?”

“I’m in Thousand Oaks, in Ventura. Like 40 minutes to an hour away depending on traffic,” he said.

I nodded and sighed. We talked for a while more. When we finished I helped him clean up. He ran his hands over my chest and back and kissed me. I kissed him back but didn’t make a move to go to the bedroom. He wasn’t pushy though, he was respectful, as I knew he would be. We sat on the couch and talked a bit more, with moments of kissing here and there. We held hands the whole time.

Once it was getting darker he told me he had to go. I walked him to the door and kissed him before he stepped outside.

I locked the door and walked to the piano quickly. I started playing Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D minor. I knew when I had visited last December we didn’t know what would happen. We didn’t know if we would ever see each other again. Now I was here. Not for a month and a half but, if everything worked out, I would be here forever.

I wasn’t going to be his lover on the side. He told me I was the one, so now, with a very possible chance of us being able to have a future together, I needed to see him put those words to action. 

My fingers flew across the piano keys. I was just worried when it would all happen. I couldn’t force this. This was all on him. How long would I have to wait? How painful would the wait be? What if he never... no, no. I couldn’t even let the thought form. I had to keep some hope alive. I had to.

I closed my eyes and played faster. I needed to get all my frustrations out.

 

* * *

 

_Oliver_

 

The rest of June and July passed by in a flurry. There were weeks where Elio had 5 concerts and others he only had three. He had a lot less free time than when he had been here visiting and he was also was working on composing his own music. Of course, had we been living together we would see each other every night. The thought plagued me when we would go full weeks with only short phone calls between us. He and I got together as time allowed. When we did get together, we would kiss but that was it.

I, obviously, understood the shift in mood. Before he had been only visiting and it had seemed like we had been given a second chance as a gift from the cosmos. He and I didn’t know what would happen after. This time it was different. He was here for good. He could be living here forever. He knew his worth as did I.

I saw him July 23rd for lunch. Karen had taken the boys to her cousin’s early in the morning. She was having a baby shower and was due in a month. Karen was very involved in the planning and decorating, so it would be a whole day thing for her. She knew that wasn’t my thing, so I practically had the whole day free. Luckily, Elio was free as well and since we had time I decided to drive us to Santa Barbara, to a seafood place I loved.

“So, I have exciting news,” he said as we sat down.

“What is it?” I asked smiling.

 “I found a place. I’m moving in next week!” He had a wonderful smile in his face.

“That’s wonderful!” I said. “I’ll help you move,” I thought about this. “You don’t have much to move.”

He laughed. “No, I don’t. I have to buy furniture though,” he said.

We had chatted more and looked over our menus. We placed our order and the food arrived relatively quickly.

“Where are going to live at?” I asked as we started eating.

“I’ve decided to rent a small three bedroom in Hombly Hills for a year,” he said smiling.

“Wow, a home?”

“Yeah, it’s not big but I like the fact that it has a couple of spare bedrooms. I cannot wait to have my parents over. I’m going to try to convince them to spend some time with me next summer,” he said with a wonderful smile on his face.

“Yes! I would love to see them!” I said.

“Of course,” he said smiling. He picked up his glass of wine and took a sip. He placed it down and tapped his beautiful fingers on the table. “So,” he said clearing his throat, “your birthday is coming up.”

“It is,” I said smiling. My heart started pounding. “Do you have a concert that night?” I asked.

“The night of the 28th?” He asked. I nodded. I couldn’t read his face. “Why?” He asked.

 “You know why,” I said furrowing my brow at him. He had brought the subject of my birthday up.

He leaned forward, his elbow on the table. “You’re seriously going to tell me you’re going to spend your birthday with me?” He asked me quietly, furrowing his brow at me. “What would your wife say?”

“I would make it work,” I said, feeling angry. I knew I had no right to feel angry but I was. “It’s not a happy marriage,” I said to him.

“I would think not since I’m the love of your life,” he said quietly. His eyes pierced into mine. “But happy or not, it’s still a marriage and you’re still very much in it. 

I nodded. I returned to my food and said nothing. After a while so did he. This is not how I had wanted today to go.

After eating in silence for a moment I looked up at him. He didn’t look upset but he didn’t look happy either. “I’m sorry,” I said quietly.

“I know,” he said. He sighed and put his fork and knife down. “Look, we have to be realistic ok?” He looked at me.

I looked at him, suddenly angry again. “Realistic?” I asked him incredulously.Did he not know I was facing my reality every single night I went home?

“Yes,” he said furrowing his brow, obviously not happy by the tone in my voice. He sighed. “We can’t pretend you can just spend a big day like your birthday with me, as if you have all this freedom,” he said, his voice even this time. The words still stung though.

“You weren’t questioning my freedom back in December,” I said nonchalantly. I knew it was a low blow but I was so angry and frustrated at the moment. I kept eating.

He narrowed his eyes at me and picked up his fork and knife again. “Those were different circumstances.” He said softly.

I knew they were, but I was still angry at it all. I wanted to keep my composure but it was so hard to around him. Once I knew I could keep my voice even I spoke. “Yeah well you would think at least for my mother fucking birthday you could maybe just be happy at the fact that we could spend the day together instead of giving me a goddam lecture about reality,” I said in the most calm tone. I didn’t look at him but I knew he was looking right at me. “Thank you, I’m aware of reality. I go home to it every single night. I’m aware I’m in love with you and married to someone else and I’m aware that me going after my happiness may fuck up my children’s lives.”

My heart was pounding but my voice had been soft, calm and even. I finally let myself look at him. He just nodded. His eyes looked a little vacant. I suddenly regretted everything I had said. This wasn’t his fault. None of this was his fault. Had I not left, had I not married, he wouldn’t be going through this right now. He didn’t even have to be here with me right this second. And here I was giving him shit for not wanting to spend my birthday with me, a married man.

“Fuck, Elio, I’m -“ 

He held his hand up. I stopped talking. I didn’t want to make matters worse. After a while he said, “My father always said being a father was the most important job in the world,” he said quietly.

“I know he’s told me the same,” I replied looking at him.

“I don’t have a concert that day,” he said. I nodded. He opened his mouth as if to say something but didn’t. I waited to see if he might say it but he stayed silent. 

We had finished eating. The waiter brought the bill and he grabbed it before I could. “I got it,” I said to him.

He shook his head, “You always paid back in December,” he said.

“I wasn’t keeping tabs,” I said.

 He gave me a small smile. “I just want to make sure we’re always equal,” he said putting cash in the small black folder and closing it. I looked into his eyes. Always equals. I always felt we always had been. If he doubted it before he couldn’t doubt it now.

 

We got up, exited the restaurant and walked to my car. We got inside. I looked at him. “When were you going to pick out furniture?” I asked. 

“Let’s go now,” he said looking at me.

 I smiled in spite of everything and nodded. We drove down to a store in LA that he told me he had been to before and liked what they had. He showed me the two living room sets he had liked and asked me which one I liked more. I told him. He then showed me the two dining room sets and asked my opinion again. I gave it to him.

He then walked and showed me the bedroom set he had picked out.

He talked to a sales person and got everything set up. He went with my choices in the living room and dining room sets. His furniture would be delivered August 3rd. We had been in the store a little over an hour.

“Do you have time to come over?” He asked me. We were less than 20 minutes from the condo. I nodded.

We drove over and stepped inside. “Would you like something to drink?” He asked me as he placed his keys on the kitchen counter.

“No thank you,” I said sitting down on a stool.

He nodded. He walked to me and grabbed my face and kissed me passionately. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight. I suddenly noticed he was crying. “This is getting harder and harder for me,” he said. His lips still against mine as he spoke. He was holding my face tight, hurting me slightly, even. He kissed me more and I tasted the saltiness of his tears. 

He pushed me back, the counter hurting my back as he pushed his body hard against mine. He bit my lip hard. I cried out in pain. He stepped back. I tasted blood on my lip. He stepped away and put his hands up in his hair, pacing back and forth in front of me. He then looked at me. His eyes wondered to my mouth.

He came to me and sucked my bottom lip. “I’m sorry,” he said softly when he had released it. We were holding each other.

“It’s ok,” I whispered. “I know how you feel,” I said. He pulled back and looked at me. “There were times I felt I would go insane too. I still feel it at times.” I said. He kept looking at me. “The caged animal feeling, the anxiety. I feel it too, Elio,” I said.

He nodded and looked at me for a moment. I could see the pain in his eyes. What the fuck was I doing to him? This wasn’t right.

He let go of me walked past the piano and stood in front of the large window, looking out of it. I got up and walked to him and held him. He held me as well. We didn’t say anything else to each other.

 

* * *

 

It was dark by the time I got home. I found Karen laying on the couch reading a Cosmopolitan. The house was very quiet. The boys must already be in bed.

I walked to the end of the couch and she lifted her legs. I sat down and she placed her legs on my lap. I looked in her direction, not saying anything. After a moment she put the magazine down. She looked at me. She sat up. “What happened to your lip?” She asked me.

I had completely forgotten about it. “I bit it,” I said. I wasn’t sure if she believed me, but that wasn’t my major concern right now. I looked her straight in the eyes. “I’ve been thinking,” I said softly.

“About?” She asked throwing the Cosmo in the coffee table.

“Our marriage,” I said.

She nodded. She didn’t look surprised. “It’s not good,” she said.

“No,” I said to her.

She let out a big sigh. “Let’s try counseling,” she said softly. “Let’s give it a year.”

“A year?” I asked looking at her.

She suddenly narrowed her eyes. “Yeah. Why? Is that too long? What’s the rush?” She asked.

 I looked away and ignored her questions. “Why a year?” I asked.

“Why not a year?” She asked me in return. “Ben is 16 months old, Oliver. Why are you in such a rush to break up his home?”

There was her question again. Why the rush. Because Karen! I’ve already wasted too many days! I wanted to scream out. But that wasn’t her fault was it? It wasn’t Elio’s either. It was all mine. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in and out. “Karen, I’m just wondering why you think a year is a magical number?”

“I don’t!” She said. I looked at her. “I don’t but for fuck sakes, can’t we give it a try for both of our sons sakes?” She asked me.

I felt the tears come to my eyes. My sons. I felt like I was failing everyone. I leaned forward and put my elbows on my knees and put my face in my hands.

“And what happens if we’re still in the same place after a year?” I asked.

“We can divorce, I won’t even fight you for custody. It’ll be shared. We’ll be civil,” she said. 

I looked at her. I was in disbelief. “Is there a catch?” I asked even before I thought of whether it was a good idea to ask that question or not.

“Well, you have to truly commit,” she said, holding my gaze.

I furrowed my brow at her. “Truly commit? Why would you think I wouldn’t?”

“Oliver, I never question where you disappear to. I don’t want to know, actually,” she whispered. “But if we’re really gonna give it an honest try, then it REALLY has to be an honest try.” She said.

I looked at her. Did she know? “Why do you think I wouldn’t give it an honest try?”

“I’m not stupid,” she said. “I’m not gonna have you tell whoever it is you go see to just wait a year and you two can live happily ever after,” she said. She sat back. “May I remind you I would be given full custody of the boys if I can prove you’re cheating on me,” she said looking down at her lap.

So she knew. I wondered how long she had known. I thought I would be more scared or freaked out by the knowledge of her knowing than I actually was. I looked at her. I felt hallow at the moment. A year without Elio. That would be the worst thing after spending so many years apart already.

She looked at me, tears in her eyes. “I’m not trying to be a bitch, ok. I know we’re not in love. I fucking know that. But if we divorce I really want to feel as if we gave it our all! For our sons! They’rejust babies Oliver! Ben isn’t even two! Don’t we owe it to them! Don’t we owe them a decent and honest try!” She started crying quietly.

I thought of Elio pacing back and forth earlier telling me this was getting harder for him, as I looked at Karen now, breaking down on the couch. I felt like the worst human being on the planet. “Yes they do,” I said.

“Then cut it off, Oliver,” she said. “Cut it off and give the family you have a year. And if it doesn’t work, I promise, we will do it civilly. Shared custody, no drama.” She looked me in the eyes. “We can hire one lawyer if we have to and pay for it together. We can go in with our terms already arranged.” 

I nodded. I felt as if I had no choice, which I hated, but on the other hand she didn’t have to give me this chance either. “Ok,” I said.

Fate had brought Elio back to me. He was closer than he had ever been. I had to trust that fate would bring us back together again. I just knew though I couldn’t ask him to sit idly by and wait. I had no right to ask him to do anything and that scared me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well.. I think we all kind of knew they their road back together would be a bumpy one...
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed!  
> Hugs <3


	12. Birthday Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!  
> Here’s more of my little story... hope you all enjoy!  
> Thank you ALL for all the comments and kudos! You guys rock! I love reading all your awesome, awesome comments!  
> Hugs <3

I had kept my word to Karen and had not had any contact with Elio since the last time I saw him in July

On August third, she had been out grocery shopping with Michael and I was at home taking notes and beginning to think about my lectures for the fall semester. It was over a month away but I needed to keep my mind off Elio. Ben was quietly napping upstairs. 

The phone rang. I got up to pick it up.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” my heart started palpating. His voice always affected me. I would never get used to it. 

“Hey,” I said, trying to sound normal.

“I’m calling to give you my new phone number and my address,” he said.

“Ok,” I replied. I reached for the notepad beside the phone. “I’m ready.” I jotted it down. “Thank you,” I said.

“Of course,” he replied. “Let me know when you think you can come over. The furniture is being delivered today.”

The furniture I had helped him pick out. “Yeah, I surely will, thank you.”

“Ok, talk to you soon,” he said.

“Later!”

I hung up. I looked at his address and phone number. How will I do this? Should I explain it to him? I know last time we had seen each other we had tentatively talked about my birthday. I gave myself until then to decide how I would handle this. 

I went and sat back down on the couch with my books and notes. I put the piece of paper with his phone and address where I could see it. I had it memorized soon enough. 

 

* * *

 

I had zero contact with Elio since the phone call. Ten days before my birthday, Karen brought up my birthday at the dinner table. “Is there anything especial you’d like to do?” She asked me.

“Just a day together, all of us,” I said to her smiling.

“Daddy how old will you be?” Michael asked me. 

“I will be 31,” I told him.

“Wow! Daddy that’s a lot of candles!” He said. I laughed and tussled his hair.

 

* * *

 

 

The night before my birthday, Karen and I were getting ready for bed. “So you’re sure? I mean you haven’t even told me a place you wanted to go eat at or anything,” she said.

“Doesn’t matter as long as the kids like it,” I said. It was the truth. I didn’t want to think about my birthday. It only brought back the last time I had seen Elio and the imaginary deadline I had given myself to tell him what was going on. I still didn’t know what I was doing.

“Ok,” she said. We got into bed. “Uh, also, I found a marriage counselor. So just let me know your work schedule so we can make an appointment,” she said.

“Will do,” I said. I reached for my lamp and turned it off, my back to Karen. I couldn’t sleep. I laid there, awake. The last time I glanced at my bedside clock it said 3:17 am.

 

“Oliver! Oliver!” Karen was shaking me.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“The baby’s coming!”

I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I looked at my clock, 6:34 am. I had had maybe three hours of sleep. “Baby?” I asked. I suddenly remember her pregnant cousin. The baby shower was the last day Elio and I had seen each other.

“Yes! She’s in labor!” She was running around getting dressed.

“Ok,” I said. Karen had been anxiously waiting the baby’s arrival.

“My god, Oliver it’s your birthday,” she said as if she suddenly remembered. Her eyes widened.

I was fully awake now. “It’s ok! I’ve had plenty. Go be with her. She expects you there!” I said.

“Are you sure? You’re not mad?”

“No,” I said. “I’m probably gonna go back to sleep though, when I wake up I’ll wake the boys up and get them ready and I’ll take them out,” I said.

“Ok!” She said. “I’ll call and leave a message with the news of the baby when he or she arrives!” She said walking towards the bedroom door.

“Later!” I called out and fell back sleep pretty quickly.

 

“Daddy! Daddy!” I was woken up by Michael smacking my face.

“Hey! Ok! I’m up!” I said.

He laughed. “I’m hungry!” He said.

“Ok, come on,” I said scooping him up. I checked my clock, 9:16 am. “Good grief!” I said. Another three hours of sleep.

I put him on the floor and he ran down the hallway yelling “Good grief! Good grief!” I laughed as I walked into Ben’s room. He was awake but sitting calmly in his crib.

“Hey, Buddy,” I said. I got him out and changed him and carried him downstairs.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs Michael was running around the couch. “What do you want for breakfast Michael?” I asked.

“Ice cream!” He said.

I laughed. “You know what? I would normally say no, but today is my birthday so we will all have ice cream for breakfast!” I said.

“Yay!” Micheal pumped his fists in the air.

Ben laughed and clapped and said “Yay!” as well. I smiled.

I put Ben on his high chair and got them both ice cream then got some for myself.

“What time is your birthday party daddy?” Michael asked.

“No, buddy, no party,” I said.

“Why?” He asked.

“I’ve had a lot already. One year without a party is ok. Plus, mom isn’t here.” I said.

“Can’t we call your friend?” He asked me.

I looked at him. “My friend?”

“Yeah, your friend. We can call your friend and have a birthday cake with him!”

“Who’s my friend?” I asked him.

“I don’t know!” Michael said. “But everyone has friends at their birthday parties! Remember daddy, Peter came to my birthday party. I’m four years old now!”

I looked at the time. It was almost 10. “You know what? Why not?” I said. 

“Yay!” Michael clapped his hands.

We were done our ice cream and I picked up Ben. Michael followed behind. I gave them both a quick bath and dressed them. I packed Ben’s diaper bag. I looked at my watch. 10:49 am. 

I walked down the stairs holding Ben. My heart was pounding. I picked up the phone and dialed Elio’s number. It started to ring. I would only let it ring five times, I told myself. He picked up on the fourth ring. 

“Hello?” He sounded out of breath.

“Hi,” I said.

“Oliver! Hey!”

“What were you doing? Working out?”

“Ha ha, no, I was on my piano. It’s far from my phone. I only have one phone in the kitchen, I should have one in the living room really, or maybe my bedroom. I was playing and... ok, I’m rambling. Happy Birthday!”

I smiled. “Thank you. Listen, what if I get a cake and dropped by?”

“Yes! Well, uh.. I ordered you a cake from an Italian bakery near by,” he said.

The feelings that gave me. I melted. What if I hadn’t even shown up today? “Wow, ok. I’m about to leave my house. I’ll be there probably in 45 minutes to an hour.”

“Ok! I will go get it and come right back. See you soon!”

“Later!” I said.

I picked up the diaper bag and called out for Michael. “Come on buddy! Let’s go have some birthday cake!”

“Yay!” He said. “Can I bring my Superman toy?”

“Yes,” I said.

 

I looked at the map in my car before I took off. I memorized the streets from the main road I needed to turn into before I took off. Karen had taken my car so I had the SUV we had and both boys strapped to their seats in the backseat.

My heart was pounding. With the boys with me, this wasn’t a romantic meeting, I told myself. There would be no kissing, no holding hands. We would talk. We would eat cake. Plus, one day he had to meet my sons. Maybe he would meet them and realize he didn’t want any children in his life. That would, obviously, be a deal breaker and not even something he and I had ever talked about. I sighed. Every red light, I felt, was a chance to turn the car back around. But I kept driving forward.

After about 45 minutes of driving I saw the street I should turn left into. I turned left and drove slowly down the residential street. One, two, three, I turned right on the third right. Then one, two, I turned left on the second left. It was a nice neighborhood. I looked for his house number. I saw his convertible. My heart skipped a beat. 

I could just keep driving and go home. He didn’t know this car. I pulled into his drive way. I shut the engine off. “Is this where you’re gonna have your birthday party?” Michael asked.

“Yes!” I said. I stepped out and got Michael out. I took his hand and walked around the other side of the car for Ben. I got him and was holding him. I opened my passenger door to get the diaper bag out when I heard Elio’s voice.

“Hey! What’s taking you so long!” 

I turned to face him. He caught sight of Ben.

“Hi! We’re here for the birthday party!” Michael called out running up to him. 

My heart was beating a million miles and hour. I watched Elio’s face. He was shocked for about two seconds and then he said, “Well, then you’ve come to the right place because I just got home with the best birthday cake ever!” 

“Yay!” Michael jumped up and down. Elio smiled at him. He looked at me. I smiled back and walked towards him.

“Hi,” I said quietly.

“Hi,” He said smiling. “Wish you would have told me they were coming. I would have bought them something,” he said.

“It’s ok,” I said. He nodded and turned around. He took Michael’s hand and I followed them inside.

 

It was a very pretty Mediterranean style home, white stucco walls with a clay roof. We stepped inside. The living room was bright. It had white walls and cherry hardwood floors. There was sun shining in from a large window to my right. I saw the living room set I had helped him pick out. There were sliding doors all the way at the end of the living room that led to the back yard.

“Michael!” I called out as we stepped inside. He had just took off and was running around. “I’m sorry,” I said to Elio.

“No, he’s a child it’s ok,” he said. “Michael?” He asked. I nodded.

“This is Ben,” I said.

“He looks just like you,” he said. I looked at Ben’s blond hair and blue eyes. I smiled. I got that a lot.

“Michael has green eyes just like yours,” I said without thinking. He looked at me. smiled and blushed. I hadn’t seen him blush since Italy.I felt foolish the moment I said that, but the feeling quickly passed and I was glad I had said it regardless. Michale’s green eyes always reminded me of Elio. They were Karen’s eye color too, but, it was Elio they reminded me of.

Michael came up to us and grabbed Elio’s hand. “You can come catch me ok?”

“Ok!” He said and took off chasing after him. I walked into the living room. I put Ben’s diaper bag down. I sat on the couch with Ben on my lap. He slid down and was grabbing my jeans and laughing as Michael and Elio ran by him.

Finally after a moment, Elio caught Michael and swept him up and tickled him. Michael was laughing and laughing till his face turned pink. Elio carried him to the couch. “Should we go outside?” He asked me. “It’s grassy and pretty shaded.”

“Yeah!” Michael said jumping up and down again.

We went outside. Elio had brought a blanket for Ben to sit on. He ran around with Michael for a while. Finally he came and sat beside me. “I have no kid friendly food,” he told me. His cheeks were flushed from running around, he was panting.

“Define kid friendly,” I said smiling.

“Something healthy?” He said shrugging his shoulders and smiling. 

“We had ice cream for breakfast,” I said. Elio laughed. “They can have cake. It’s my birthday they can eat what they want,” I said smiling. Elio nodded. 

We stayed out there for a couple of hours. Finally Michael said he was hungry and we made our way inside. I needed to change Ben and Elio told me to just use his bedroom.

I walked down the hallway past the living room, to the left of the front door. His bedroom was beautiful and bright. It had pine hardwood floor with a huge gorgeous fluffy white rug under and around the bed. The bed was a cherry wood sleigh bed. I remember seeing it in the store. There were sliding glass doors that went out to the backyard at the end of the room. They looked exactly like the ones in the living room. They had curtains but he had them pulled back so the room was nice and bright.

I changed Ben and went back out to the living room. We walked into the kitchen. The kitchen had beautiful orange Tuscan tiles. The kitchen island was a gorgeous blue, pots and pans hanging above on a rack. There was the dining set I had helped him pick out. I felt a pang in my chest. I almost felt like I was home. There was a set of sliding doors here too.

He got the cake out of the fridge. He had a candle that said Happy Birthday. He put it on and lit it. Michael and him sang Happy Birthday to me. I was so happy. Ben clapped and laughed. I blew out the candle. Elio re lit it so Michael could blow it out as well and then Michael said Ben should have a turn so we lit it a third time. Then Michael told Elio he should to do too and it was lit again.

“Make a wish,” I told Elio. He looked into my eyes, smiled, and closed his eyes before blowing the candle out. He smiled at me. He really looked happy in this moment. I couldn’t be happier.

The cake was delicious. Michale and Ben made quite a mess of themselves. Once we were done we went into the bathroom and Elio helped Michael clean up while I put Ben in the tub and washed him thoroughly. He even had icing in his hair. Once they were cleaned up and dressed in the change of clothing I had brought, Ben started yawning. It was time for his nap. Elio said we could put him on his bed. He grabbed extra pillows and we put them around the bed. I was surprised when Michael told me he was tired too. He climbed up on the bed and laid beside Ben. They were sleep in less than twenty minutes. Elio drew the curtains on the sliding glass doors in his room.

We walked out of the bedroom. Elio left the door ajar. He motioned to me, past his bedroom to the end of the hallway. It opened up into a bright room, windows all around. His piano was there. It was a beautiful white grand piano. “Wow!” I said.

He nodded and smiled widely at me. “It was a gift of sorts from David. I’ve signed a three album contract with him and his recording company,” he said. 

“Elio! That’s amazing!” I said. He smiled. I wanted to hug him but decided not to. We walked out and past the bedroom. Down the hall and back into the living room. We sat down on the couch. I looked at him. What should I say? I wanted to tell him but what should I say and how?

He was looking at me intently. I knew he knew I had something to say. “Your sons are wonderful,” he said to me. 

“Thank you,” I said. “I love them so much.”

“As you should,” he said. He ran his hands through his hair and leaned back on the couch. “As you should,” he repeated softly.

I had to say something. I took a deep breath. “Elio,” he looked my way. I held his gaze. “My son’s mother and I, we -“

“If this is you trying to explain something, I don’t want it. I don’t want any explanations. I don’t need them,” he said.

“But -“

“Oliver!” He exclaimed softly. “I know. You’re married. Your children have to come first. If this is an explanation I don’t want it, Oliver!” He shook his head and put his face in his hands. “I don’t want or need an explanation. I don’t want or need a status report on the state of your marriage!”

“I’m sorry,” was all I could think of saying. I felt pathetic.  I looked at him. I hated the look of pain in his eyes. I closed my eyes. I felt such despair. 

“Oliver, you’re either married or divorced,” he said softly. “Anything else, anything in between, it’s meaningless to me.” He suddenly got up. He walked to the door and started put his shoes on. 

“What are you doing? Where are you going?” I asked.

“I told you,” he said, “I don’t have any kid friendly food. They can’t eat cake all day. I’m gonna run to the grocery store so they can have a proper meal when they wake up. Do you need anything?”

“No,” I said softly.

 

He nodded and walked out the door. I leaned back on the couch. I felt hot tears sting my eyes. He was right. He didn’t need explanations or, as he said, a report on the status of my marriage. He didn’t need that. I was either married and unavailable or divorced and free to be with him. Nothing in the middle meant anything or could mean anything to him. I knew this. What was I thinking I would say anyway? I was such an idiot.

I got up and walked to his kitchen. The boys had made a mess and it had to be cleaned up. I was finishing up when I heard him walk through the front door. He walked into the kitchen with several bags. He had fruit and juice boxes and some snacks. “Do they like spaghetti?” He asked me. I nodded.

“Thank you,” I said. I saw he had also bought some toys. “Elio, you didn’t have to -“

“I know,” he said. “I wanted to.” He shrugged and smiled at me. I smiled back.

 

I finished cleaning up and helped him put everything away. He handed me a beer and we went and walked back to the living room. We sat and chatted and he filled me in on his three album contract with the recording studio. I was so proud of him. He was amazing.

We maybe had had an hour to talk when I hear Michael call out for me. We got up and walked to his bedroom. I changed Ben and Elio asked is he could hold him. I smiled and nodded. He picked him up and I watched him a moment. It was such a beautiful sight. I had never felt happier in my life.

We exited the bedroom and went into the kitchen. I started cooking. I heard Michael tell Elio of his love of Superman.

“Well, do you want to watch the movie? I have it!” He said. Michael was thrilled Elio put the VHS on for him.

I was done cooking quite quickly. We paused the movie for Michael so he could come eat. Elio obviously didn’t have a high chair. He held Ben and fed him a while. Once I was done eating I held Ben and finished feeding him so he could eat. 

“Even your spaghetti is amazing,” he said to me smiling. I smiled back. I looked around the table at my sons and Elio. I wish I could go to sleep, wake up and this be my reality. I looked and saw Elio looking at me. We held each other’s gaze for a while. I wondered if he was feeling and thinking the same.

When we were done eating Michael returned to the living room and Elio spent time with Ben. Ben was still pretty wobbly when he ran, which he liked to do a lot. Elio watched over him as I cleaned up the dishes and pots I used. 

We relaxed in the living room until Superman was over. The sun had began to set. I looked at the time. It was 8:09 pm. Elio saw me look at the clock. He nodded. I took Ben and changed him before we took off. Elio took him while I put my shoes back on and put Michael’s shoes on him. We stepped out the front door, I walked out holding Michael’s hand. Elio was holding Ben. I put Michael in his seat and put the diaper bag in the passenger’s seat. I took Ben and put him in his seat and shut the door.

I turned to look at Elio. I wanted to hold him and kiss him so badly. He put his hand on my chest, over my heart. It was beating fast. He smiled. I put my hand over his for a moment. He then pulled it back. 

“I’m glad I got to spend your birthday with you and your sons. Thank you for bringing them,” he said with a pleasant smile. I nodded. “Happy Birthday,” He said. “Oh! I almost forgot! I got you something!”

He was about to run off when I grabbed his hand. He looked at me. “Hold on to it,” I said. 

He furrowed his brow. “What? Why?”

I let go of his hand. I looked around the street to make sure no one had seen us. There was no one around. I took a deep breath and stared into his eyes. “Hang on to it and give it to me next time you see me,” I said to him. I knew he could hear my voice shaking. I just needed a connection to him. Anything. I couldn’t emotionally handle nothing between us for a goddam year.

“Next time?” He asked me. I nodded. “I wasn’t going to ask because I actually didn’t know if I could handle the answer, but,” he shook head. “I’m feeling like next time may be a long time from now.”

“It’ll just -“

“No. It’s ok,” he smiled. “If that’s the way it has to be then I don’t want to hear a hypothetical date. It won’t make me feel any better,” he said looking straight into my eyes. I stood frozen. “I’ll see you later,” he said softly with a shrug. He said it without any anger but there was no happiness in his voice or in his eyes.

I couldn’t say anything. I just nodded and turned and walked around and got in the driver’s seat. I looked at Elio as he watched me back out. I turned the steering wheel right and then straighten out. I looked down at the gear shift as I put my car in drive. I looked up, wanting to wave good bye to him but saw he had already gone inside. His driveway was empty.

 

The boys were quiet on the drive home. When we arrived home, I saw they were both sleep. I got them both out and put them in bed. I went and quickly got the diaper bag. I saw the toys Elio had gotten them inside the bag. I felt numb. I sat there a while thinking about today. Thinking about Elio holding and playing with my children. I suddenly became aware of the phone ringing. Maybe it was him. If it was I could just take the boys and leave tonight. I could hire a lawyer tomorrow. If he would have me tonight, I would do anything to make it happen.

I quickly descended the stairs as I heard the machine picked up. “Hey! No one is home right now please leave a message and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible!” Karen’s cheerful voice played. There was the beep.

“Oliver! Hey! It’s me!” Karen’s breathless voice came. I stopped dead in my tracks. I sat on the third step. I didn’t care to pick up. “It’s a girl! Her name is Karen Elaine!” Karen was very emotional. “The labor was long but everyone is ok. Um, I’ll be home in the next few hours. I hope you and the boys had fun! See you later! Bye!”

I sat there a moment. I thought of how I had felt before when the phone was ringing. I could take the boys now and Karen wouldn’t know and wouldn’t know where to look for me. I got up and picked up the phone and dialed Elio’s number. One... two... three... four... five... why wasn’t he answering? Six... seven... eight... I hung up  

I went upstairs. I showered and laid in bed. I was so tired. I fell sleep quickly.


	13. Completely Confidential

_Elio_

 

I turned and walked back into my house before Oliver took off. I couldn’t stand there and watch him leave. 

He was married, but most importantly he was a father. His children had to come first. If that meant staying with his wife for however long he felt he had to be with her to give them a good life well... I shook my head. I pushed that thought out of my head. Whatever.

It was funny how silent the house seemed after all the noise Michael and Ben had made. I missed it. I turned off the lights. I thought of playing the piano, but it didn’t seem right. I walked to my bedroom. The pillows were still around my bed, where we had put them up for Ben and Michael. I suddenly remembered holding Ben. He looked SO much like Oliver. I shook my head again.

Oliver had mentioned he didn’t know if I wanted to be a father. I had never thought of it either until now. Seeing his children... suddenly I imagined me teaching them everything my father had taught me.

I grabbed the extra pillows and started pulling them off the bed. Something thudded on the floor. I looked. It was Michael’s Superman. I picked it up and smiled at it. I put it on the night table. I climbed on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. The sun was setting. I watched as it got darker and darker. Then it was dark.

I laid there I don’t know how long. I suddenly became aware of the phone ringing. I rolled over to my side and closed my eyes. Whoever it was could fuck off. I was done with dealing with everything for tonight.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Thursday, I woke up determined to just go on with my life. At rehearsal the conductor approached me.

“Elio, I’m not sure if you know but, you’re making quite a name for yourself,” he said with a smile.

“Am I?” I was surprised.

“Yes! Just this week our offices have received several calls from people who want to work with you one way or another!”

I was shocked. “Wow,” I said. I was blown away.

“I think you have to get an agent my dear,” he said.

“Ok!” I said nodding. “How.. where..?”

He laughed. “You’re in luck! I have a couple of people I know. Three to be exact. How about we set up meetings?”

“Yeah! Yes! Thank you!”

“I would be happy to do it. How about I join you for the meetings? And then you can see if you like any of them.”

“I’d appreciate that so much!” I said.

The conductor talked to me the following Saturday at our concert. He had set up meetings for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at 10 am. 

“Thank you so much!” I said pulling him into a hug when he gave me the news. “How can I ever thank you?” I asked smiling.

“By thanking me in your speech when you win an Oscar for best original score!” He said.

“Ha ha! Done!” I said.

 

The conductor kept his promise and on Tuesday he came to my home with the first prospect for an agent. The talk was good. He came back Wednesday. On Thursday he showed up to my home again. I had asked them if they wanted drinks and went into the kitchen to get them when my phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Elio.” My heart. I felt as if I had lost my breath.

“Oliver.”

“Elio, please let me explain -“

“I can’t right now,” I whispered. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. “I’m in the middle of something.”

I heard him let out a shaky breath. “Can we meet? We’ll just talk. I promise. I just want to explain.”

“I...” this was too much for me right now. I wasn’t in the emotional or mental state right now to deal with this. I felt anger. I knew he was going through a hard but it wasn’t any easier for me. I was getting tired of this emotional see-saw I was on. I had to do what was best for me at the moment. “Oliver, when I’m ready. When I feel ok. I’ll call you. How’s that?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Ok, talk to you soon.”

“Later,” he whispered.

“Later,” I whispered back.

I hung up. Sadness filled me. I meant it. I wouldn’t cut him off completely, I’d talk to him later. I leaned into my kitchen counter and closed my eyes. I took a few deep breaths. I knew, I knew Oliver had something going on in his marriage, I knew, but, it was his marriage. I loved him, more than I loved myself I would even say, but that was something he had to take care of on his own. That’s the way it had to be. I also had to take care of myself. What if he never divorced? That was also a possibility too. I couldn’t keep my life at a standstill.

I straighten and got some drinks. I walked back to my living room and joined in the conversation happening.

 

The conductor and I had decided to grab lunch after.

“So, three candidates, did you feel a connection with anyone?” He asked me picking up his glass of wine.

“Yes,” I said. “I liked Lindsay from the first meeting. The other two didn’t impress me as much,” I said smiling.

“I think that is a wonderful choice for you!” He said. “She’s the youngest and I feel she will help make your career the best it can be. Give her a call when you get home, then call your parents. I’m excited to see where your career goes Elio!” He said putting his knife down and squeezing my forearm.

My heart was pounding. “Thank you, so much!” I said.

 

* * *

 

_Oliver_

 

It was ten after my birthday, the Thursday after Labor Day weekend. I was in my office and I just couldn’t take it. I had hardly slept in days. I had called Elio at least four times and had never gotten an answer. I felt as if I was going to go insane. There was a payphone a bit far removed from campus. I walked to it. My heart pounding the whole time.

I slipped the change in and dialed Elio’s number.

One... two... three... I was counting the rings.

“Hello?” 

I put my hand to my heart. “Elio.” I said. Finally.

“Oliver,” he whispered.

“Elio, please, just let me explain -” 

“I can’t right now,” he whispered. “I’m in the middle of something.”

“Can we meet? We’ll just talk. I promise. I just want to explain!”

“I...” I heard him sigh. He was quiet a moment. “Oliver, when I’m ready. When I feel I’m ok, I will call you. How’s that?” His tone was firm.

I closed my eyes. “Yes. Of course,” I said.

“Ok, talk to you soon,” he said.

“Later,” I whispered.

“Later,” he whispered back.

I hung up. There was a park bench near by. I sat down. I don’t know how long I sat there.

“Oliver?” I ignore it. Go away! I thought. Can’t you see I’m grieving? Go away. “Oliver,” I felt a hand in my shoulder.

I looked up. It was Lidia. She sat beside me. I saw the concern in her face. “Oliver, what’s wrong?” She asked.

“Everything,” I said. I leaned forward, elbows on my knees. I put my face in my hands.

I felt her rub my back and shoulders. Lidia was a very sweet and honest person. She was naturally maternal and I had seen plenty of students and more than several faculty members go to her in times of need. We sometimes called her our psychiatrist in jest, but there was something about talking to her.

I finally sat up and glanced her way. “I’m... slowly falling apart but I need to keep it together,” I whispered to her.

She looked at me and nodded. “I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?”

I suddenly wondered if Stacey had said anything to her. “Has Stacey said anything to you?” I asked quietly.

She raised her eyebrows. “She asked me if I knew that you knew the new pianist. The young man from Italy. I just said no and that was it,” she said. “What’s going on?”

I took a deep breath. I knew I could trust her but I didn’t feel ready. It was too fresh. “I’m just,” I shook my head. “I’m trying to keep it together,” I said. “Karen and I...”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Lidia said again. “Are you two separating?” She asked quietly. 

I shrugged. “We’re going to try counseling first,” I said looking at her.

She nodded and patted my back. “I’m here whenever you need me, Oliver.”

“Thank you, Lidia,” I said smiling at her.

 

The following weeks I threw myself into work and focused on my boys. Around the time I had called Elio, I come home one day and found Michael in tears and Karen looking under the couch. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“His Superman,” Karen said hugging him. “The one he got for Christmas. We can’t find it!”

I put my leather bag down and ran my hand through my hair. I suddenly remembered. He had taken it to Elio’s place the day of my birthday. Fuck.

“Hey! That’s ok! Let’s go buy a new one!”

Michel perked up. “Really?”

“Yeah!” I said. “And it’s been nine months since Christmas, maybe they even have a newer and better Superman figure!” I said smiling at him.

“Yay!” He hugged Karen. She just laughed and rubbed his back. He ran off cheering.

“You sure?” She asked getting up from the floor. “I’m sure it’s somewhere around.”

I shrugged, “It’s ok. When we find the other then he can just have two.” 

Karen smiled and nodded.

 

The fall semester was set to begin on Monday September 25th. The Friday before, Karen and I had our first appointment with the marriage counselor. 

We had dropped Ben and Michael off at Karen’s parent’s home. We had told them we were going out for a late lunch. The drive there was completely silent. We didn’t even put the radio on. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was still struggling with how much I would expose or say. I was dreading this.

We arrived. It was inside an office looking building. We walked in silently. We took an elevator to the fifth floor. We stepped out. 

“It’s 507,” Karen said softly.

We turned left and walked down the hallway. I saw a black plaque with the number 507 and a sign saying Dr. Jackson underneath it. Karen opened the door and I pushed it open for her. I walked in behind her. The waiting room had seating chairs and a couple of flowery love seats. It was like a grandmother’s living room. It was strange. I went and sat at a chair. Karen walked to the receptionist. I heard a mumbled conversation. She then came and sat close by.

Suddenly a door opened and a man and a woman walked out. She was sniffling and dabbing her eyes with a Kleenex. He looked miserable. Fuck me, I thought.

After a moment, the receptionist called out, “Karen and Oliver? Come on in!”

We got up and walked to the door. We were led to a smaller room with another flowery love seat. We sat there in silence. There was a coffee table with pamphlets. I glanced over them. They were all about how to reconnect with your spouse. I felt almost nauseous. I wanted to run out of here.

Suddenly the door opened and a very well dressed African American lady walked in. She had a plum suit on with a beautiful flower brooch. She looked to be in her late 50s. She looked about my mother’s age.

“Hello, Karen and Oliver?”

“Hello,” Karen and I smiled as we greeted her.

She walked over and shook our hands. She sat down across from us. “I’m Dr. Jackson. I’ll be your marriage counselor,” she gave us a warm smile. “So, we will begin slowly,” she said. We nodded. “Today, I would actually like to talk to you individually so that you can comfortably tell me how you’re each feeling about what brought you here today.” 

“Ok,” Karen said. I nodded.

“Now, I don’t want you to try to question the other about the conversation you have with me. Trust that this is all done to help you out. We are here to see this through together. I just want to achieve peace and I want you both to be emotionally where you need to be with each other.”

“Ok,” Karen said again. I nodded a second time.

“Ok, who would like to talk to me first?” She asked kindly.

Karen and I looked at each other. “Go ahead,” I said softly. She nodded. I got up and walked out. The receptionist was waiting for me outside and she led me to another room. I walked in and sat down. More pamphlets. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. 

I started recalling my birthday. I remembered Elio running around the backyard behind Michael. I recalled seeing him with Ben in his arms. It still filled me with warmth. I sighed. I remembered when Michael had been born. I remembered seeing him and thinking he was so tiny. I had been so excited. The announcement of Ben’s pregnancy had been slightly different. Karen and I had been fighting a while and one night she had asked me how I would feel about another child. “Not good,” I had said looking straight into her eyes. I was angry she was even asking me. She had asked me before and I had said I didn’t think we needed to add another child to our broken marriage.

The look on her face, that time though, had been absolute heartbreak. “I’m pregnant,” she had whispered. I felt like the worst human being ever. I tried to be as attentive as I could during the rest of the pregnancy but, unlike after the birth of Michael where we did connect for a while, the rift from those months before the birth of Ben hadn’t ever fully disappeared. I loved Ben, that had never been a question. This was such a damn mess.

I laid my head back and closed my eyes. How honest was I going to be? How honest could I be? This was supposed to help but it was giving me such anxiety. It didn’t feel like it had been too long when I heard a gentle knock at the door. I sat up. 

Dr. Jackson walked in with a warm smile on her face. I smiled back. I was actually happy Karen had brought us to see her. I had pictured an older man giving us disapproving looks because we were seeking help. She sat adjacent to me on an arm chair.

“How are you, Oliver?” She asked me warmly. 

“Good thanks, how are you?” That was an automatic response.

“Eager to help you and Karen,” she said. I nodded. “I know she made the appointment but, is this something you wanted to do?” I glanced at her. “You can be honest. This isn’t about me or my feelings. This is all about you. There are no right or wrong answer and everything you say is completely confidential.”

“How confidential?” I asked.

“We will talk about any unresolved issues you have. If I feel there is something you should tell Karen I will advice you to do so. I will never make you. I will never tell Karen. I can help you prepare and figure things out but any revelations will come from you and you alone when you are ready,” she said.

I nodded. “No, this is not something I would have even done.”

She nodded. She opened up a sleek leather folder. She picked up a pen.

“Did Karen just spring the news on you that you were coming to see me or was it the result of a conversation you were having.”

“The result of a conversation we were having.”

“And how did that conversation come about?”

“I told her I had been thinking about our marriage. She agreed it wasn’t good. She said we should try counseling and give it a year for the sake of our children.”

“And what were your thoughts on that?”

“That I didn’t want to. I just want out.” I said. I glanced at her. She only nodded and wrote down on her folder. Her expression was still pleasant.

“And do you know exactly why you want out or is it something you just feel and you’re not quite sure why.” 

“I know why,” I said. She looked at me and nodded, raising her eye brows. My heart started beating. I felt my palms sweat.

“Take your time,” she said softly.

I closed my eyes. Should I tell her? What if she asks about Elio. But the sudden realization that I could get it off my chest suddenly seemed like an amazing idea. “I’m in love with someone else,” I said quickly. I looked up at her. She nodded again. Same friendly expression, no disapproving looks.

“How long have you been aware of your love for this person?” She asked me looking up at me.

“Since the summer of ‘83,” I said. She nodded. “And they love me back.” I had to say that, so she understood. She nodded again.

“You and Karen married in May of ‘84,” she said. She wasn’t asking. I nodded. “Have you ever loved Karen?” She gave me a warm smile.

I sighed. “I care a lot for her. She’s the mother of my children. I want her to be happy,” I said.

“You mentioned the other person loves you back, do you assume to know or have they said?”

“They said,” I answered.

“Would it be ok for you to tell me of the nature of your relationship with the other person?”

I nodded. “We met in the summer of ‘83 and fell in love. In Italy. I was there for the summer. I felt and came back to the states. I didn’t seem them after the summer of ‘83. Karen and I married and there was no contact until this past December. They suddenly appeared and...” I didn’t know what to say.

“Were you intimate in December?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Any time after?”

“No.”

“When was the last time you made contact?”

“The week after Labor Day weekend.”

“Tell me about the life you want,” she asked me. I looked at her.

“The life I want?”

“Yes, tell me if you could have the life you want, what does it look like?”

I felt tears sting my eyes. “Me and the love of my life raising my children and Karen being understanding with no animosity between us and hopefully her finding someone that makes her happy too,” I said. I couldn’t hold back the tears.

 

The ride back to Karen’s parent’s home was silent. I pulled into the driveway. I couldn’t look Karen in the face. She opened the door. “I’m not going in,” I said.

“Ok,” she said softly.

I heard her shut the door and walk to the front door and ring the doorbell. She wasn’t in there any more than ten minutes. Michael came jumping out. He was holding the newer, bigger Superman figure I had bought him at Toys R Us. I stepped out. Karen put Ben in while I helped Michael into his seat.

We decided to go eat at Pizza Hut. I probably should have tried harder to make an effort to talk to Karen more but I felt emotionally drained. I didn’t make any eye contact with her.I suddenly wondered what the next therapy session would be like. I didn’t want to go but had promised I would.

Once we were done we went home. I told Karen I would bathe and get the boys ready for bed. I just wanted to be with them and them alone. I took my time and read Michael three stories. Once I did that I went into Ben’s room and saw he was wide awake. I put him on my chest and sat on the rocking chair. I rocked until he fell sleep. It took a long while.

Finally I went into my bedroom. Karen was reading her book. I brushed my teeth and changed. I grabbed my pillows. “I’m going to sleep in the guest bedroom,” I told her. Her eyes widened and she nodded but said nothing and didn’t try to stop me. I walked to the guest bedroom. I laid in bed and was surprised that I fell sleep very quickly.


	14. New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy my lovelies! <3

_Elio (September 1989 - October 31, 1990)_

 

I called Lindsey the next day, on Friday, and arranged to meet her at her office the following week. We met and had a great talk. She asked me where I wanted to be five and ten years from now professionally. I told her I wanted to compose music and perform in concerts. I passed her the numbers of the people that had contacted the conductor. I was in great spirits and had called to tell my parents. I told them they _had_ visit me next summer. They agreed.

By mid September I had started to keep a diary of sorts. A notepad really, where I wrote about Oliver and only Oliver. I had done this after he had left in Italy to help me cope. I would sometimes write letters addressed to him other times it was just how I was feeling. Other times, memories. There were also dark moments and this is where it was the most useful. I’d let out my sadness and anger and despair. I would sometimes cry while I wrote. I was writing in it almost daily. The days I didn’t write on it, I’d flip through it. It helped me a great, great deal.

The conductor had plans for me for the holiday season. He wanted to have a series of concerts that would highlight Bach. I was really happy with the idea. We started preparing it.

Mid September, Lindsey called me saying she had redone my record deal with David for six albums. Three would be me playing classical music and three would be me composing and recording my own original work. I was beyond happy. The first would be a holiday album with three other orchestra musicians from around the country. I was asked to record two pieces solo and two pieces collaborating with the others. I told her that sounded great. I flew to Chicago first week of October and met with the other three. I spent four days there. It was a wonderful experience.

Suddenly, it was November and at rehearsals there was lots of talk about Thanksgiving. Most orchestra members knew I had no family here and were eager to invite me. This warmed my heart. At the end of the day though, I went to the conductor’s home for Thanksgiving and it was wonderful.

First week of December was a week off from the orchestra. That week though, the holiday album was going to be released and the recording company was going to have me and the other orchestra members from around the country have a signing at the Tower Records store in West Hollywood. The whole idea kind of blew me away but I couldn’t wait. Then the rest of December I would have the regular concerts as well as the spotlight on Bach concerts which I was really excited about.

 

* * *

 

The day of the holiday album release, I was to arrive at Tower Records before opening time. Lindsay drove me. When we got there we were greeted by the store manager and some staff and the other musicians.

“So, remember they had a giveaway on the local classical station. So three people won,” she said as she escorted me through the store, walking towards the back. I nodded. “So they’ll come in, you’ll sign their records with the other musicians and they’ll get to spend about 30 minutes with you guys and ask you questions. Then you’ll go out front, to the table set up and sign any other albums the customers buy.”

“Sounds awesome,” I said.

We were led into a nice size room with leather couches and a table against the wall with some trays of cheese and crackers and cold cuts. There were waters and some juices.

After we were there a moment the store manager, came in with three other people. An older lady probably in her sixties, an Asian gentleman who looked to be in his late thirties, early forties and a very pretty brunette who looked to be about my age. I took a look at her. She was wearing a white button up shirt with small pink flowers, black slacks and heels.

Everyone was introduced. Her name was Valerie. She walked over to me and stuck her hand out, “I’m Valerie, wonderful to meet you. You’re so talented,” she said with a beautiful smile. She rushed her words and I could tell she was nervous. I liked that. 

I smiled back. “Elio, thank you.”

“I actually have tickets to one of your Bach concerts,” she said.

I was surprised. “That’s great, which one?”

“Wednesday December 20th,” she said.

I nodded. I looked at her face. She had very petty big brown eyes. “Well, I’ll make sure I’m extra wonderful that night then,” I said with a smile. That made her laugh.

I then talked to the other two album winners. We were then given sharpies to sign the cover of their albums. When Valerie gave me hers she suddenly asked, “Can I have your number?” 

I laughed. My first reaction was to say no but I also really liked the fact that she had the guts to ask me. “Sure,” I said. I wrote it on her album. She laughed when she saw. “For your eyes only though,” I said giving her a wink. 

I signed the other two albums and then we bid them farewell. A moment later we were led to the front of the store. We were seated at a table and I was surprised at the amount of people that showed. The signing took several hours. I had a blast.

 

* * *

 

 

The rest of December was a blur. The Bach concerts were a huge success. We actually added some dates into January. I was getting ready for one of the Bach concerts when my phone rang.

“Hello.”

“Elio! Hi, it’s Valerie, we met at the holiday album signing.”

Pretty brunette with beautiful brown eyes. “Valerie, hey, how are you?”

“Good!” She said. “I have tickets to your concert tonight and I wanted to call and wish you good luck, even though I’m sure you don’t need it,” she said. 

I laughed. “Well, thank you and good luck is always greatly appreciated,” I said.

She giggled. “So, a friend of mine is going to be having a New Years Eve party,” she said, rushing her words again. “I was wondering if you’d like to come with me?”

“Where is it going to be at?” I asked. I knew nothing of her or her friends so I wasn’t sure.

“At the Beverly Hills hotel,” she said. “It’ll be black tie.”

“Sounds good,” I said. “Give me your address and phone number.” She obliged and I wrote them down. “I’ll call you the day of. But I’m imagining I’ll be picking you up around 10 pm or so,” I said.

“Ok,” she said. “Great!”

We said good bye and I hung up.

For my birthday the conductor had a huge party for me. Pretty much everyone from the orchestra came. Someone had gifted a Polaroid and I took tons of photos. Lindsey, my manager, gave me an answering machine, as she was tired of not being able to leave me messages. In spite of it all, I wondered what Oliver was doing that day. I wondered if he had even thought of me.

 

I had a tuxedo ready for December 31st. After a light dinner, I showered. I got out and combed my hair and walked to my bedroom and picked up my notepad. 

“December 31, 1989,” I wrote. “I was hoping I’d be kissing you tonight, but that won’t be. Who knows? Maybe next year.” I sighed. It had officially been over a year since Oliver and I had slept together. I flipped through the notepad a moment.

I called Valerie at about 7 pm and told her I’d be there at 10 pm.

I drove to her place and picked her up. She was wearing a sparkling silver dress, which looked great against her long brown hair and sun kissed skin. When we got to the hotel and we got out, I saw it was backless. She was a knock out. I gave my car to the valet.

The party was great and I finally got to know her better. She was a first year law student at UCLA, really smart, had great taste in music and loved foreign films. She was from New York. When I asked what had brought her to the west coast she said the weather. When the countdown began we held hands. At midnight I kissed the back of her hand. 

 

* * *

 

It was the start of 1990. At the first rehearsal of the new year Stacey showed off he engagement ring. Her boyfriend had proposed New Year’s Eve. Everyone hugged and congratulated her, including me.

“Elio,” she had come to me after rehearsal was over. “You can say no, but, would you play something at my wedding?” She asked me. I could tell she was nervous.

“Yes!” I said laughing. “Why are you even nervous to ask me?” I said. I hugged her. “I’m so happy for you, Stacey, you deserve to be happy.”

“As do you,” she said to me.

“When do you plan to be married?”

“In November,” she said. “I’ll talk to the conductor because I want everyone including him to come!” She said laughing.

 

Something else that was new in January was that I started seeing Valerie. I welcome the distraction, even thought I was still writing daily in my Oliver notepad. I was on my fourth one by the time Valentine’s came around. For Valentine’s, which was a Wednesday, I took Valerie out and we slept together for the first time. She stayed with me until Saturday.

By the end of April she was living at my place. I was also composing music for my first original album. She loved hearing about Italy and my childhood and my parents. There was a comfortability about my relationship with Val, she felt like a friend I had had for a long time. Our relationship was very laid back.

From all the talks we had had, I knew Valerie was open minded. She had eventually told me she had come to California because of a broken heart. She had been engaged and her fiancée had broken off the engagement. On a whim she applied to UCLA School Of Law and had been accepted. She then asked me if I had even been in love and I told her yes and told her of Oliver. I told her everything, from Italy, to my visit last December and the months after I had moved here. She just listened. That was something that I really liked about her.

 

* * *

 

In May, my parents and I finalized plans for them to come and spend two weeks of June in Los Angeles.

The week before my parents came I began having problems sleeping. I knew why. I was sitting at my piano with my notepad.

“I promised you you would see them when they came to visit me this summer.” I wrote. “I always feel like I have to do everything I can to keep my promises to you, no matter what.”

On my second sleepless night I was at the kitchen counter with a glass of wine and my notepad. I had my face in my hands.

“Hey,” I heard Valerie say. I opened up my eyes and saw her at the kitchen entrance. I closed my notepad. “Can’t sleep?”

“No,” I said.

“That’s very unlike you. What’s wrong?”

I sighed. “I know my parents would love to see Oliver,” I told her. As would I. I knew this.

She nodded. “You’re not sure what to do?”

I shook my head. “I guess it would make sense for me to just do nothing but,” I sighed. “My parents love him and also, I promised him I would let him know when they were here because he would love to see them.”

She poured herself a glass of wine and was quite for a moment. I knew she was thinking. “Well,” she said after a moment, “I know it may be hard for you, but you could invite him to dinner, maybe once. I’ll be there and your parents will be there. Maybe you can just call and invite him and extend the invitation. Give him a time and place and if he shows up great, if not, it’s on him.”

I was surprised by her suggestion, but I was intrigued by it. She’s right I had her and my parents to lean on and I also thought it would be a good way to break the ice with Oliver. Maybe we could slowly start reconnecting... Maybe it was because my parents were visiting and it brought up some nostalgia, but my thoughts had been drifting to him even more as of late. I couldn’t even believe that was possible. But before I would write in my notepad and go about my day. Lately, it seemed as if all I did was think about him all day, everyday. I knew, deep down, I was really, really missing him. Like Val said, if he didn’t want to, he didn’t have to come.

“Would that be ok with you?” I asked her.

“Yes, Elio. It would be,” she said smiling. I nodded.

 

* * *

 

Friday June 8, we went to pick up my parents at LAX. I had told my parents they could stay with me, since I had more than enough room, but my father said they didn’t want to impose. My father booked a room for my mother and him at Hotel Bel Air and I couldn’t blame him, I wanted them to have a great experience.

It was wonderful to have them here, I took them everywhere. Santa Barbara, Hollywood and down to the San Diego Zoo. Countless beaches and restaurants. I also took them to LACMA. It was my first time back since I had been here with Oliver a year and a half before.

“This is the largest art museum in the western US,” I told my parents and Valerie. “There is a new exhibit of Japanese art that opened last year that we have to go see.”

I also played a concert while they were there, I had taken time off, but had planned it with the conductor so I had one performance scheduled. Having them watch me play on stage was a dream come true. Valerie got along great with them, too, which was wonderful.

Five days before they were to leave I called Oliver at home. I didn’t care if she answered.

“Hello.”

“Hey it’s me.”

A pause. “Hi. How are you?” I could tell he was surprised.

“Good. Great, actually. My parents are here.”

“Are they? That’s wonderful.”

“Yes it is. They’re here for five more days. I was calling to see if maybe you wanted to join us for dinner tomorrow night, they would love to see you.”

“That’s amazing. Yes! Thank you.”

I gave him the place and time and hung up.

 

* * *

 

 

We went to a beautiful French restaurant in Beverly Hills that Valerie loved. She had made dinner reservations and we were sitting in their outdoor courtyard. The four of us had been there for about 10 minutes when I saw Oliver being shown to our table. My heart started beating fast.

Oliver.

It had been nine months and three weeks since I had seen him. I felt like I was 17 again, as if he had suddenly shown up to dinner after ignoring me for days. I wasn’t expecting to feel the way I did.

“Pearlmans!” He opened up his arms to my mom and dad. He looked so good. He had a tan suit jacket, white button up shirt and navy blue pants and tie. So sexy. I had to look away for a moment. I felt like I could hardly breathe. 

My mom and dad got up and hugged him. They were happy to see him. He had brought flowers for my mom. She hugged and kissed his cheeks twice. Once they had said hello, which took a few minutes, he turned his attention to Valerie and I. 

“Oliver this is Valerie,” I said. “Valerie, this is Oliver.”

Valerie was wearing a flowing white summer dress that looked beautiful against her olive skin tone. She long brown hair pulled back into a sleek pony tail, she looked beautiful. I wondered if he felt jealous.

If he was, he didn’t show it. He had his poker face on. I got over my initial shock and finally started getting my confidence back.

“Hi, Oliver, nice to meet you.” Valerie shook his hand and was as pleasant as she always was.

It was a round table, and Oliver was practically across from me. My nervousness faded. I took him in. He had medium stubble coming in. I loved how it was a light brown. It made his hair look more blond. He looked so sexy like this. I remembered how that would feel against my skin when he would kiss me. I watched him as he talked to my parents. He would lean back and square his shoulders and have a half smile on his lips. I literally couldn’t keep my eyes off him. But I didn’t want to. I wanted him to notice me looking at him. He finally did. He looked right into my eyes and held my gaze a couple of seconds. We would look at my parents as they talked or Valerie as she talked, then we would look at each other and hold our gazes a couple of seconds.

Valerie made lots of conversation and delighted my parents with some Italian she had learned. She was also very gracious with Oliver.

At one point, my mother asked him how his family was and Oliver answered, “Very well, thank you.”

I finally addressed him. I looked straight into his eyes, “How are Ben and Michael?” I asked.

He smiled at me. “They’re wonderful, thank you for asking.” I smiled at him. “Michael is about to start kindergarten.”

“Wonderful. Do you have current pictures of them?”

“I do,” he said smiling at me. He pulled out his wallet and took two wallet sized photos out of them. They had changed so much. Ben was still the spitting image of him. Michael’s green eyes popped out under his brown hair. It looked darker than when I had seen him. I smiled and looked up at him. “Keep them,” he told me.

“Thank you,” I said.

My father addressed Valerie and asked her about her parents. She was following in her mother’s footsteps and was becoming a lawyer. He father owned several car dealerships. I knew all this already. I watched Oliver as he watched her for a moment and then looked at me.

He looked straight into my eyes. I saw his eyes wonder to my lips and I couldn’t help but smile. He still liked them then. I picked up my wine glass and took a sip. He looked into my eyes. As I put my glass down his eyes wondered to my lips again. I smiled and licked the wine off them. 

“That’s wonderful!” My father replied after Valerie had told them about her family.

“How are you coming along with the composing?” Oliver asked me.

“Great,” I said. “I’ll be recording an album in September,” I said.

His eyes widened and I loved how he smiled. Did he remember how I told him he was my biggest inspiration when I composed? It was still true. “Amazing! I can’t wait to hear it!” He said.

I would mail him a copy to his house. I don’t care if she saw it. I would even fucking autograph it for him. I smiled back at him.

Once dinner had come to an end we were all standing outside the restaurant, chatting and laughing. You could tell my parents wanted to keep talking to Oliver. Plans were made for him to drive them back to their hotel and spend more time with them. We all started walking to the parking lot. We reached my car.

Valerie and I hugged and kissed my mother. We then hugged and kissed my father. Oliver was standing beside my father and I wanted to hug him next. As my father and I pulled back, Oliver stepped away and wrapped his arm around my mother’s shoulders. She patted his hand. I had wanted to hug him and it bothered me he had done that. I was very annoyed.

“Wonderful meeting you, Valerie,” Oliver said shaking her hand. He then put his other arm around my father’s shoulders, looked at me and said, “Later!” flashing me his perfect smile.

“Later,” I replied.

Val and I said good night and got in my car and left. I put the radio on, a bit too loud. Valerie didn’t try to make conversation and I was happy about that.

Four days later it was time to say goodbye to my parents. It was hard to see them go but I knew they would be back as soon as they could.

 

* * *

I had loved seeing Oliver again. I still loved him. I couldn’t run away from it. Even with a fulfilling job, even with an amazing partner like Valerie, I felt empty without him. I thought of my serious relationships I had had in Europe. I wondered if my time with them would have been cut shorter than they had been if they had happened here, in California, where I was physically closer to him.

His birthday came. I spent the day out of the house. I needed to be alone. I went to a couple of record stores in Hollywood and bought some vinyls for him. I went to a Mexican restaurant I loved and sat and ate as I wrote in my notepad for him.

“I have last year’s and this year’s birthday presents for you,” I wrote. “When the fuck do plan to come get them!? Can’t you see I still love you?” Had I not seen him so recently this would have made me sad. Today it just made me angry. 

I thought back to the dinner with my parents. I remembered the way he had looked at me and the way he had looked at my lips. My anger melted and I smiled. He still wanted me as much as I wanted him. This brought me some peace even though it didn’t change anything. I couldn’t really explain why I felt the way I felt. I just did. I just accepted it and didn’t try to analyze it.

 

The summer passed and things between Val and I felt fine but when she started her second year of law school, she became busy with her studies. I had also started recording my album with David, which was exhilarating. I felt, though, as if Val and I started to drift apart.

I’m not sure if it was me that was drifting, but there was a slight shift in our relationship. It felt less romantic. I didn’t want to look within me and ask myself if seeing Oliver again did it, I just knew it was time for us to move on. Her birthday was approaching though, and I thought I would wait until after it to bring up the conversation that maybe we should start seeing other people.

By October I was done recording my album. It would be released right after Thanksgiving. Right in time for the holidays. Valerie’s birthday was October 30th and she wanted a Halloween themed birthday party where everyone dressed in costumes. I had bought her a pearl necklace and decided to give it to her before the party. She was dressed as Audrey Hepburn from Breakfast at Tiffany’s and I thought he necklace would look lovely with her costume, and it did. I was dressed as George Peppard.

It was about 2 am when every had finally left. The party had been great. I was laying in bed when she came in from brushing her teeth and sat on the bed beside me, taking my hand. I looked up at her. 

“I believe our relationship had run its course,” she said and gave me smile. I wasn’t surprised or heartbroken. We were better off as friends.

“Was I that bad a boyfriend that you’re smiling about it?” I laughed as I asked, teasing her.

“No, Elio. I’m smiling because in you I’ve found a real friend. Those are few and hard to come by. You’re a gem.” She laid down on the bed beside me and kissed my cheek. “And... I was wondering if I could stay in one of the other bedrooms for the holiday season. I hadn’t made plans to go back to New York. We can be each other’s family during the holidays instead of spending them alone. What do you say?”

“That sounds great,” I said smiling at her.

 


	15. RSVP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The saga continues...
> 
> Enjoy! <3

_Oliver (End of September 1989 - Mid October 1990)_

 

I hadn’t returned to the master bedroom and Karen hadn’t asked me. I had taken my alarm clock in there as well. I was sleeping a lot better. I would think of Elio as I closed my eyes.

 

The next therapy session was two weeks later. This one we had together. We were supposed to open up and talk about one thing we felt the other did well for us and one thing we wished they would do.

“Oliver is a wonderful father,” Karen said smiling at me.

“Karen is a wonderful mother,” I said smiling at her.

“I wish Oliver would open up more.” Karen said glancing my way.

“I wish Karen would stop asking me to open up more, because if I needed to talk about things, I would,” I said glancing at her.

 

October came and went. Suddenly it was Halloween. Michael dressed as Superman and Ben was a farmer. They looked adorable. I trick or treated with the boys and Karen stayed home giving out candy.

Suddenly it was November and Thanksgiving. Then it was the holiday season. Karen hadn’t made any appointments with Dr. Jackson in December because it was too busy a time for her, so she said. We had seen her for a total of six times and I was sure she wasn’t planning to go back. If anything, going to see Dr. Jackson was showing exactly how broken our marriage was. 

I decided to go see her alone. All the memories of Elio were floating around in my head and all I could think about was the December before. I needed someone to talk to. I decided I would tell her everything.

 

“Hello, Oliver, how are you?”

“Wonderful and you?”

“Very well thank you,” she gave me her warm smile. She opened up her black folder and held her pen. 

“Karen doesn’t know I’m here,” I said. I sighed. “By this time last year, Elio and I had reconnected.” 

I nervously waited for her reaction but she didn’t even flinch. She kept her same pleasant expression as she nodded. 

“I see, everything is clearer now,” she said.

“I’m afraid,” I said. I had nothing to loose now. “Karen said to give it an honest try for a year. Say by some miracle he’s still single in a year and I divorce. What if Karen tries to keep me from seeing the boys when she knows?”

“Homosexuality isn’t illegal, Oliver,” she said.

“But it’s not welcomed,” I said. “I’ve moved to the guest bedroom at home. I’ve been there since our first visit with you,” I told her.

She nodded. “Who’s idea was that?” She asked.

“Mine. I don’t want to be intimate with Karen,” I said. “I don’t ever want to be intimate with anyone else but Elio.” 

“Ok,” she said and closed her leather folder.

“Your children are so lucky,” I said. She let out a gentle laugh. “If I had had a mother like you I would have never been forced to marry Karen.” I looked at her. “But even saying that feels horrible because without marrying her I would have never had my children and I love them more than anything,” I said shaking my head. I wiped the tears away.

“Maybe then this is the path you were supposed to go down,” I looked at her surprised. “You can’t always choose what happens to you, but you can choose how you act in response to it. Don’t despair yet. You’re still young and you never know what lies ahead of you. It could all just work out the way it was meant to be in the end.”

I was very taken aback by her words. “Is that the doctor in you talking?” I asked her.

“No,” she said. “That was the mother in me talking, Oliver.”

I had stayed and talked to her for another half an hour. She was wonderful and I let a lot of things out. I told her about Elio and my birthday and our last conversation. 

“He needs to live his life while you sort out yours. It may be hard but for the best,” she said. I nodded. I knew it was true.

 

The rest of December wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and I’m sure a lot of it had to do with my conversation with Dr. Jackson.Elio’s birthday came and went. I bought him a present and a birthday card. I would keep it and told myself I would give it to him as soon as I could. New Years Eve, Ben had come down with a cold and was very miserable. I stayed home taking care of him and convinced Karen to go to her cousin’s. On a whim I called Elio’s home. Maybe he would answer. 

“Hi. Sorry I missed your call. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.” BEEP. I hung up. It was wonderful just hearing his voice. I smiled. I’m glad he had finally gotten an answering machine.

 

* * *

 

The weekend before the start of the new semester I asked Karen when we were going back to see Dr. Jackson. I was helping her dry dishes while she washed. 

She sighed. “I was thinking maybe we could see someone else,” she said to me.

“Why? She’s wonderful.” I said. I wanted her to admit this wasn’t working.

“If she was wonderful we would be sleeping in the same bed and having sex,” she said. I looked at her. She continued washing dishes.

“A new doctor won’t fix that,” I said suddenly angry. I kept my voice calm though.

“Wow,” she said. She turned the water off. She turned to face me, tears in her eyes. “I’m trying here!”

“So am I, Karen,” I said. I looked at her straight in the eyes. “You told me to give you honesty? I am being _very_ honest right now.”

She crossed her arm. “Does the idea of me having sex with another man bother you?” She asked me. I heard the anger in her voice and saw it in her eyes.

I wasn’t expecting that question. It took me by surprised. I took a deep breath. I thought about it. Would it? _Would it?_ Honestly no, I knew it wouldn’t. I opened my mouth to answer.

“Don’t bother. The fact that it took you that long to answer tells me all I have to know.” She said.

“I’m sorry,” I said. I didn’t know what else to say.

She sighed and turned around and continued washing dishes. We finished up in silence.

 

I went to go see Dr. Jackson by myself twice more in January. I let her know Karen was no longer interested in seeing her. I also told her I didn’t know how much longer I could continue the arrangement.

“Oliver, I cannot tell you want to do,” she said to me, “but you have to make a choice.”

I nodded. I knew she was right. “What if she takes my children?” I asked her.

“If she just takes them, that’s kidnapping,” Dr. Jackson said. “If there is a custody battle, well, you can cross that bridge when you get there. Don’t get ahead of yourself for now. First things first. First, you have to tell her you want a divorce. Like I told you before, I can help you get ready, but taking the step is up to you.”

I nodded and thanked her before I left.

 

Valentine’s day was approaching. I felt obliged to buy Karen something. I thought I should take her out to dinner. I also thought I could just mail Elio something. I wouldn’t even put my address to it. I was insane. I bought him something too but chickened out in the end. I kept it with his birthday present in the attic. Karen never went up there.

I did take Karen out to dinner on Valentine’s and it was decent enough. We chatted quite a bit. Her parents had the boys and when we were driving back when she said, “I asked my mother to keep them overnight.” I looked at her. “So we could have tonight together.”

I took a deep breath in and out. I didn’t want any intimacy with her. We got home and stepped inside. Karen wrapped her arms around me and started kissing me. I couldn’t.

“No,” I said and pushed her away.

She stared at me. “I’m trying!” She said.

“I don’t care. I don’t want this,” I said.

Her eyes widened. She sat on the couch and put her face in her hands. I watched as her shoulders shook. It reminded me of Elio, sitting at the edge of the bed crying because of my actions. Apparently I was a fucking expert at just hurting people. 

“Karen, I am so sorry,” I said.

“What are you sorry about?” She asked.

“For all the hurt I’ve caused you. You didn’t deserve any of it. I’m sorry. I wish I had been stronger back in ‘83.” 

She looked back at me. “Back in ‘83?” She asked.

I nodded. “If I had been stronger back then, we wouldn’t be right here right now and you wouldn’t be going through this pain.” It was the most honest thing I could say.

“Do you regret marrying me Oliver?” She asked me softly. There was such a sadness in her voice. 

“Our boys are the result of our marriage and I could never and will never regret them. I love them more than I love myself.” I said.

“Do you wish you had had children with someone el-“

“No!” I said sitting down beside her on the couch. “No, Karen. You’re a wonderful mother. I’m so glad my sons have you as a mother.”

That was the absolute truth. I knew she knew it was by the way her face relaxed. She nodded. “Is the woman you’re in love with unable to have children?”

“What?” I looked at her. Her eyes weren’t angry. “Karen. No! I’m not in love with another woman!” I said slightly annoyed.

“Ok, ok.” She said. She looked at me so confused. She knew I was in love with someone else but the thought of another man never once crossed her mind. 

“I’m sorry about this,” I said. “But I can’t anymore.”

“No, I should have known better,” she said. “It’s...” she shrugged. “It is what it is,” she said sounding defeated.

“Karen, you’re so beautiful,” I said. I opened my mouth. I wanted to tell her how I was so sure she would have no problems finding someone that would love her. I didn’t know how she would take it though.

“Thank you,” she said. She sighed. “I think we should get a divorce,” she whispered to me. 

I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. “I think so too,” I said.

 

The next day I drove to Elio’s house on my lunch before my 2 pm lecture. His home was pretty close to UCLA. I remembered he always had rehearsals on Thursday’s afternoons but I was hoping I would catch him before he left. I turned into his street. I passed his driveway and saw it was empty. Damn. Should I wait? Should I leave him a note?

I looked and realized I needed gas. There was a gas station close by. I drove there. I saw the payphone outside. Maybe I could give him a message? I remembered his answering machine. I jogged over and dropped some change in. The phone began to ring.

“Hello!” I froze. It was a female voice. I felt cold spread through me. “Hello?”

“Hi. Is Elio there?” My heart was pounding.

“Oh, I’m sorry he’s not home right now. Can I take a message?”

“No,” I said. 

“Is this business related? If it is he would rather you call his agent,” she said.

Would he really? How the fuck did she know?

“No. It was a personal call,” I said. “I’ll call him back.” I hung up. I felt as if I was going to be sick. I was too late. Too fucking late. I drove back to UCLA

 

* * *

 

March came and went and Ben turned two. A few days later, Karen and I went to a divorce lawyer and started the ball rolling in the divorce.

That night, after we put the boys to bed, we sat at the kitchen table with a bottle of wine. I didn’t want to not see my children so we decided I would stay in the guest bedroom. We would work on fixing the house up and then put it on the market.

Now, since my hopes with Elio were dashed, I figured what did it matter where I was living? I could take my time and wait till the house was sold. 

“I’m sorry about the counseling,” Karen said. “I just.. wanted to feel as if I tried everything, is all. I know when we got married we weren’t the best match, but I can honestly tell you I had good intentions of making this marriage last until the day I died.” 

I took hold of her hand, “I know.” I believed her. 

“Your mother is going to hate me,” she looked at me. 

“She’s going to hate us both for being a disgraced divorced couple,” I said. “But don’t worry, she’ll hate me just a little bit more because I’m the flesh and blood that’s disappointing her.”

She sighed. “You were everything my parents ever wanted in a son in law.” She said.

“And you were my parents dream come true of a daughter in law,” I said. 

“Too bad they didn’t give a shit about what we wanted.” Karen said looking down at the floor. “Let’s not be them, Oliver. Let’s let our children be happy and lead their own lives.”

“We are and we will.”

“Let’s just put the boys first. We’ll figure it out. Let’s just not be assholes and be considerate of everything and let’s be honest. Please.”

“I can do that,” I said. 

“Ok. So can I.” She said smiling.

 

In April we had a home inspection done and we had a list of the things to take care off before we put the house on the market.

 

It was suddenly May and Michael turned five. The following weekend was Memorial Day and would have been mine and Katen’s sixth wedding anniversary. We spend the weekend with her cousin and I met baby Karen. I was actually relaxed and having a good time. Just knowing the marriage was going to be over helped me so much.

“You two are the happiest almost divorced couple I’ve ever seen,” her cousin said. I laughed. The boys were running around the backyard. She started telling Karen it was someone’s birthday party soon.

I zoned out a bit. All I could think about was I could now be with Elio. As of late, I wondered how serious that girl he was with was. I was thinking maybe I could drop by and talk to him. I could call him. What if she answered again? Well, she didn’t know me, I’d ask her to tell him to call Oliver. But I also remember the conversation last year in September. He had said when he was ready he would call me.

How much longer should I wait? How much longer did he need? I know our tension before was because of my marriage and now it would be over soon, but he was in a relationship. I could see it now: me telling him I was divorcing and he saying it was too little too late. That he was in love and wanted to be a father. I sighed.

 

* * *

 

It was about three weeks later, we were taking the boys to the pool birthday party her cousin had told us about. Everyone was in the car and ready to go when I ran back into the house to get my sunglasses. The phone rang. I jogged over to pick it up. 

“Hello.”

“Hey it’s me.”

I was shocked. “Hi. How are you?” My heart was racing, I’ve been waiting for this call for nine months.

“Good. Great, actually. My parents are here.”

“Are they? That’s wonderful.” 

“Yes it is. They’re here for five more days. I was calling to see if maybe you wanted to join us for dinner tomorrow night, they would love to see you.”

“That’s amazing. Yes! Thank you.”

I wrote down the name and address of the restaurant and hung up the phone. I couldn’t believe it. I was over the moon. Maybe he and that girl were completely over with.

 

* * *

 

 

I told Karen the couple I had stayed with in Italy were visiting and they had asked me to dinner, nothing else.

I was in the bedroom getting dressed. I was nervous to see Elio after all this time.

She looked at my reflection. “You look great!”

“Thank you,” I smiled at her, “Ok, I’m going. I won’t be back too late.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “You should get flowers, it’ll be a nice gesture.”

I nodded and smiled.

* * *

 

 

I drove to Beverly Hills. I had never been to this restaurant. I walked in and told the hostess I was joining the Perlman party.

“Right this way please,” she started leading me into the restaurant to their outdoor courtyard. I had wondered in the car if I took off my wedding band if he would notice. I started sliding it off. I suddenly saw the professor and Annella. My heart skipped a beat and then I saw Elio, and... a very pretty brunette right beside him. I swallowed. This wasn’t what I expected. I left my ring on. I couldn’t show my discomfort.

The moment I made it to the table Elio’s parents jumped up to greet me.

“Perlmans!” I said spreading my arms open. I hugged and kissed Annella first, then Samuel. It was lovely seeing them. I handed Annella the flowers and she hugged and kissed me again. I felt as if my heart stopped when I looked over at Elio and the young woman and we were introduced.

“Oliver, this is Valerie. Valerie, this is Oliver.”

Valerie. I suddenly knew why Elio never wanted to hear Karen’s name. 

“Hi, Oliver, nice to meet you.” She was the voice. We shook hands. She had a pleasant smile.

It was a round table and the only chair left for me was one that was practically in front of Elio. I sat down and leaned back and squared my shoulders. I had flashbacks of Italy when I would try to pretend like Elio wasn’t even at the table so my feelings wouldn’t be discovered. Samuel and Annella quickly engaged me in conversation. I laughed and chatted with them. It was then that I began to notice that Elio was looking right at me. Was this wishful thinking? There was only one way to find it. I looked right at him. Our eyes met. We held each other’s gaze for a few seconds. It’s as if he was playing a little game with me. We would look at his parents as they talked or Valerie as she talked, then we would look at each other and hold each other’s gaze a couple of seconds. 

Valerie talked a lot. I was ok with that. She was sitting beside him so all I had to do was shift my eyes and look at Elio. He had a light green button up shirt and black jacket. The green shirt made his eyes look wonderful. He was so fucking gorgeous. I took him all in. 

Annella asked me how my family was doing. “Very well, thank you.” I said smiling at her.

“How are Ben and Michael?” Elio asked looking straight into my eyes. It was the first time he made conversation with me.

I smiled at him. “They’re wonderful, thank you for asking.” He smiled back at me. “Michael is about to start kindergarten.”

“Wonderful. Do you have current pictures of them?” He asked me, still holding my gaze. It made my heart beat faster. 

“I do,” I said. I reached for my wallet and took out the two wallet size photos I had of my boys. I handed them to him. I smiled at the look on his face when he said them. “Keep them,” I told him. I had tons more at home.

“Thank you,” he said. 

Samuel then started talking to Valerie. She started talking about her family and following in her mother’s footsteps. I wasn’t really listening. I looked at Elio as he was looking at me. What are you playing at? I thought.

I couldn’t help it and my eyes wondered down to his lips. His perfect, succulent lips. I saw them curl into a smile. He knew I was staring. I didn’t care. He had started this little game. He picked up his wine glass and took a sip. I looked up at his eyes. He put the wine glass down and my eyes wondered to his lips again. I watched as he licked the wine off them. So sexy. 

“That’s wonderful!” I heard Samuel say, bringing me out of my spell.

“How are you coming along with the composing?” I asked him.

“Great!” He said . “I’ll be recording an album in September,” he said.

My eyes widened. I remember him playing for me, naked at the condo telling me I inspired him more than anything when he composed. Was it still true? “Amazing! I can’t wait to hear it!” I said. I would pretend I inspired every song. I didn’t care if it was true or not. 

Once dinner was over we went outside and chatted for a while. Samuel and Annella and I kept talking. I seriously wished to continue talking to them. I asked them where they were staying. Samuel said the Hotel Bel Air. I offered to drive them so we could talk some more.

 

We all started making our way to the parking lot. We reached Elio’s car. He hugged and kissed his mom. He then hugged and kissed his dad. I was standing by his father watching and smiling. I suddenly wondered if he wanted to hug me. My heart started pounding. I looked at Valerie.

I walked over and put my arm around Annella. I wasn’t going to hug him in front of her. I couldn’t. I wanted nothing more than to hold him in my arms, but with her here I would have to pass it off as a meaningless hug. I’d rather keep my distance than try to act as if holding him meant nothing to me.

I turned to her now. “Wonderful meeting you, Valerie,” I said shaking her hand again.

I then put my arm around Samuel. I turned to look at Elio. He had a bit of an annoyed look on his face. Good. He can go home wanting and wishing he had physical contact with me. I gave him a wide, happy smile. “Later!” I said to him. 

“Later,” he replied. I was still so fucking crazy about him.

 

We walked to my car. Samuel sat beside me. I was really glad to be with them. They were wonderful and I loved seeing them. I wondered how long Elio had been with Valerie. I wonder if he was in love. But if he was, why would he stare at me the whole night? I shook my head and focused on my conversation with Samuel and Annella.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the summer passed quickly. Karen had told me she was going to go back to teaching so she got everything ready to go back to work. I felt we spent the whole summer getting ready for that. Everything worked out though and she would be teaching second grade that fall.

My birthday came. Karen was busy preparing for school so I took the boys to Chuck E. Cheese’s. I wondered if Elio was thinking about me. I was holding Ben while Michael was in a small ride when I walked to a payphone there and called his house. I could still see Michael.

“Hello?” I hung up. Valerie and him were still together. Great. I should stop. It was obvious they were very serious together. I remember dinner with his parents though and the way we looked at each other. What the fuck was going on?

 

After Labor Day weekend I felt time flew even faster. Karen was back to teaching now and either her or I would drop Ben off at her cousin’s and Michael at school. He cousin’s would pick him up for us when we were working late and then whichever one of us was out of work earlier, we would go get them. It was busy but good. Karen and I also decided we would sell the house in the spring. She told me she would look to purchase a condo or townhome. I figured I’d rent an apartment until I figured out what I wanted to do.

 

Suddenly October came around and I took Ben and Michael shopping for Halloween costumes on the first weekend of the month. The Monday after, Lidia approached me with an envelope on the way to my first lecture of the day.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Stacey is getting married!” She said, big smile on her face. 

“Really! That’s awesome!” I said.

She nodded. “Yes! They’ve been together years so it’s about time! I’m so excited. I expect you to be there!” She said giving me a quick hug before walking off. I guess he never found out about Stacey sleeping with Elio, I thought.

 

I had two lectures and then I made my way to my office. I was done for the day. I started going through my papers when I saw the invitation again. I wondered if she had invited Elio. She must have. I opened it up.

“You are cordially invited to .... Saturday November 17, 1990 at The Belmond El Encanto in Santa Barbara. RSVP by October 17, 1990.” 

The number to RSVP was Lidia’s number, I recognized it. Then I saw the note at the end. “Reception will include the talents of pianist Elio Perlman...” I smiled. Some other orchestra members were listed as well.

I gathered all I needed and closed my office door. I walked briskly to Lidia’s office. I knocked on her door.

“Come in!”

I opened the door and peeped in. “Hey!” I said. “Just wanted to let you know this is me RSVP-ing to Stacey’s wedding!” I flashed her a very happy smile. 

“Awesome! Will you be bringing a plus one?”

“Nope! Just me!” I said.

“Ok! Thank you, Oliver!”

“Thank YOU, Lidia!” I said grinning at her before walking out of the door.


	16. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies!  
> Enjoy!  
> <3

_Elio_

 

Valerie and I had initially made plans to go to Stacey’s wedding together. Right after the breakup though Valerie told me she was sorry but didn’t want to go to the wedding. I said ok, no problem. 

“I wonder if we should let the people planning the wedding know?” She asked.

“I don’t know,” I said.

The invitation had an RSVP with a date that had passed. Valerie had called the first time to RSVP and said I was bringing a plus one. I thought I’d contact them just in case, to let them know of the change of plans. I wasn’t sure who’s number it was, it wasn’t Stacey’s number. 

I called it. “Hello?” A female voice came.

“Hi. My name is Elio Perlman. I know the RSVP for the wedding was a couple of weeks ago but my plus one won’t be attending. I don’t know if it helps to let you know!” I chuckled.

“Oh! Elio! The pianist?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Who... um do we know each other?” I didn’t recognize the voice at all.

“Oh! I apologize. I’m Lidia, Stacey’s sister.”

“Lidia!” I said. Oliver’s co worker. My heart started beating fast. “You work with Oliver!” 

A pause. “I do!” 

“Is he coming to the wedding?” I didn’t care what she thought. I wanted to know.

“Yes, he will be attending,” she said.

“Oh wonderful,” I said smiling. We said goodbye and I hung up. I couldn’t wait.

 

* * *

 

_November 17, 1990_

 

The day of the wedding was finally here. I was happy and anxious. I couldn’t wait. The wedding ceremony was going to be at 2 pm and the reception was to start at 4 pm. I had prepared a couple of pieces for the reception, both at Stacey’s request. I also had an ensemble piece with a few other orchestra members and an accompanying piece with a singer.

I was dressed in a white shirt, light gray vest, pants and coattails. I had a mint tie on and handkerchief in my pocket. I liked how I looked. I’m sure Oliver would like it too. I walked to my car and put my overnight bag in the trunk. I knew what I wanted to happen. I would try all I could to make it happen.

I arrived at 1:35 pm and gave my car to the valet. The wedding was to take place outside on the hotel grounds. The Belmond El Encanto was a beautiful and historic luxury hotel. There was hotel staff that was guiding us to the area outside where the ceremony was going to take place. There were already tons of people there. I scanned the crowd. Oliver stood out in crowds, always, he was half giant. But as I looked around, I didn’t see him. I wandered around. Lots of people stopped me and said hi. I said hi back but didn’t really stay to stop and talk. There was only one person I wanted to talk to. 

“Looking for someone?” My heart could have jumped out of my chest. I turned, smiling.

“Maybe,” I said with a slight shrug of my right shoulder. He looked absolutely stunning. He was clean shaven, hair perfectly combed. He had a tuxedo on with black bow tie. His jacket thought was a beautiful caramel color that made him look more golden and blond. He took my breath away. The jacket had black notch lapels.

He laughed. “How are you?”

“Great... now,” I said. I smiled and bit my lip.

“Where’s your date?” He asked looking around.

“Didn’t have anyone to bring,” I replied innocently, looking right into his eyes as I slipped my hands in my pants pockets.

“Not even Valerie?”

“No. That relationship ran its course,” I said.

“I see,” he said quietly with a smirk.

“Where’s your wife?” I asked.

“Hmmm... not sure if I’m still supposed to call her my wife,” he said furrowing his brow and bringing his right hand to his chin as if he was really pondering what he had asked.

“What do you mean,” I asked quietly. My heart started to pound in my chest.

“Well, I don’t know what the right term is. We filed for divorce back in March,” he said nonchalantly.

“March?” I asked. I was slightly stunned. “Is that right?” I asked.

“Yeah. It should all be finalized some time in January.” He said. “I actually tried to call you and let you know, but, you were never home and Valerie always answered, so...”

I shrugged. “Sometimes life just happens that way,” I said. The past was the past, I thought. Today, right now, we were both single, with nothing and no one in our way.

“Mmhmm,” He said, nodding. My heart... I just grinned and fought the urge to jump him right then and there. “You know, I’m sure I saw a bar inside,” he looked at me. “Wanna get a drink?” 

“You wanna get me drunk so you can take advantage of me later?” I asked quietly as we turned and walked inside.

He chuckled softly. “No, no need,” he said glancing my way. “You always have been and always will be a willing participant.”

I laughed softly. “Isn’t that a bit presumptuous of you?” I asked him. 

“Don’t know,” he said. “We’ll have to give it a try later. Maybe after the reception.” He looked right into my eyes. “You’ll either have to prove me right or wrong.” There was an intensity behind his gaze. _Fuck me._ I felt myself get aroused. I looked away and took a couple of deep breaths, calming myself down. This was amazing. 

 

We reached the bar. We ordered scotch. “I have to play at the reception,” I said leaning back on the bar, taking a sip of scotch.

“Yeah, I know, it says so in the invitation.” He said looking at me.

I furrowed my brow. “No it didn’t,” I said. I had gotten an invitation and my name was no where on it. I knew this.

“Yes, it did,” he said giving me a funny look. “Mine did,” he said. 

“Mine didn’t,” I said. “Stacey brought a stack to rehearsals one day. They were all the same. Mine didn’t have my name on it and neither did anyone else’s.” 

He looked at me confused. “I swear,” he said. “I have mine in my car. Lidia gave it to me, I even told her in person I was going. She was taking care of keeping track of who would RSVP.”

I laughed. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on. But mine didn’t say I was playing at the reception,” I said laughing and taking another sip.

“Ladies and gentlemen! Everyone please, let’s take a seat. The ceremony will start soon!”

Oliver looked at me. “Sit with me,” he said putting his glass down on the bar. I nodded and put my glass down beside his. I took my wallet out and paid the bartender. We started walking back out. “You look amazing, by the way,” he said. “The green in that tie makes your eyes look even more green. You’re so beautiful.”

I smiled. “Just how that jacket makes your skin look more golden and hair look more blond,” I said back to him as we walked to the rows of chairs. “You look incredible.”

I felt his hand on my back as he guided me to a chair at the end of one row. I sat down and he sat beside me. Our knees touched. I didn’t move my leg thought and neither did he.

 

* * *

 

_Oliver_

 

I slowly slid my hand down Elio’s back and ushered him to a seat. I sat beside him. My left leg touched his right leg as we sat. I didn’t move it. I liked the feel of him close to me. We looked at each other and smiled.

Here we were. Single. Available. Nothing to hold us back from being together. Finally. My heart was going a million miles an hour. I knew he had to play at the reception, as my invitation had said but not his. I still didn’t know what was going on there. I wondered how quickly we could ditch the reception and go somewhere. Anywhere. Just us. I wanted to hold him. To kiss him. To tell him how good I would be to him. I would make up for lost time both from when I left Italy and now. I’d spend my whole life making it up to him. My heart fluttered. We looked at each other again. My eyes wondered to his lips. I couldn’t wait to have his lips all over my body. It seemed as if almost everyone was seated now.

“Five more minutes everyone! Please be seated!”

Finally everyone settled down. The groom walked to the altar and so did the rest of the wedding party. A few minutes later a string quartet started playing the wedding march. Elio and I turned with everyone else as Stacey started making her way to the groom.

Stacey made it to the altar and the ceremony began. I really wasn’t paying much attention. I was just hyper aware of Elio being right by me. I wished I could reach out and hold his hand. I felt like the ceremony kept going on and on and on. Or maybe it was just my wanting to be with him and only him. Regardless, I sat there and just calmly waited.

Finally it was over. Everyone clapped. We looked at each other. “Ok, I have to go inside. I’m playing a song at the beginning of the reception,” I nodded. “Come with me,” he said searching my face.

“Of course,” I said. We got up and went inside the hotel. We reached the large reception hall. We stepped inside. The area was beautifully decorated. We were the only ones there. I suddenly noticed there was a seating chart. I tapped Elio’s arm and pointed to it.

We went and looked. We found our names. We were seated beside each other. “Hey! Wonder who did that!” Elio laughed. He was so gorgeous. We were alone. I grabbed him and kissed him. It wasn’t a long kiss, but long enough to make me feel a little more at ease. Elio looked up at me, he licked his lips. “That was good,” he said.

“It was,” I whispered. We heard chatter and laughter somewhere close by. I dropped my hands and put them in my pockets. “How quickly do you think we can ditch the reception?” I asked him.

He gave me a playful smile. “Ditch the reception? We’ll be seated beside each other,” he said tilting his head. “We can enjoy it all together.” 

“I’d prefer it if maybe we could be alone,” I said to him. My eyes wondered to his lips yet again.

He laughed softly. “I’ll see,” he said with a shrug.

“You’ll see?” I asked raising my eyebrows and laughing.

“Yeah, I’ll see. If you’re good, maybe after I’vehad enough of the reception I’ll get us a room and have my way with you.” He said. He winked at me. _Fuck me,_ I thought. I shook my head. He turned me on so much.

“Elio!”

We looked towards the doors of the hall. My heart was still racing from what he had just said. “Hey!” He said to the people that had walked in. Other orchestra musicians, they all had their instruments. “Come on,” he said to me sweetly, taking hold of my elbow. I walked with him.

He said hello and hugged everyone. “Everyone, this is Oliver,” he said looking at me and smiling. Every one was very friendly and said hello as he introduced me to them one by one.

Everyone made their way to the piano at a corner of the Hall. I followed behind and watched Elio. He got on the piano and his fingers expertly flew across the keys. He looked at me and winked. I couldn’t help but grin back. I saw one of the musicians look my way and giggle. She had seen the wink. I shook my head. I was so damn happy.

They practiced a while and then some hotel staff started coming into the hall. The reception was about to start. I suddenly saw Lidia walk in. 

“Oliver!” She said and came to hug me quickly. “I’d stay and chat but I want to make sure everything is running smoothly!” 

“It’s ok, it’s ok,” I said.

“I sat you beside Elio,” she whispered.

“Yes I saw,” I said. “Stacey told you?”

She nodded and looked around. “And you’re almost divorced, so, why not?” She said. 

I laughed. “Thank you, Lidia. He’s single now also,” I said.

She gasped and her eyes widened. “It’s meant to be then!” She said squeezing my arm.

“Another thing,” I said looking her. “My invitation mentioned Elio was going to play at the reception. Elio though said his didn’t say any of that.”

She blinked at me. “How strange. Maybe, you know, yours was specially made to make sure you came!” She said smiling at me. 

I laughed and hugged her. She rushed off and I saw her talking to hotel staff. I resumed watching Elio. Soon I noticed more and more people were trickling in. I went and found our table and sat down. Finally the Hall was full and Stacey and her now husband appeared. She had changed into another, more casual white gown. A young woman I didn’t know joined Elio and the others and sang “At Last” as Stacey and her husband danced. 

Elio played a couple of songs alone and then the small group of them played a couple more. Once they were done Elio stood up and everyone applauded. I did as well. I felt so proud. He bowed and held his hands up then came and sat beside me. 

“You did wonderful, baby,” I said to smiling as he sat beside me.

“Thank you,” He said.

 

The food was delicious and so was the wedding cake. There was a DJ then and Elio had insisted we dance. I obliged. It was a lot of fun. 

We had tired of dancing and went back to our seats. We drank some water. He looked at me and said, “Let’s go.” 

I nodded. My heart started racing. We got up and walked out of the hall. We were walking towards the lobby. “Where did you want to go?” I asked him softly.

He stopped walking and looked into my eyes. “I want to get a room and spend the night with you.”

I nodded. “Ok,” I said.

“I just need to get our overnight bag out of the car,” he said smiling. “Come on.” He turned and started walking out. I was confused.

I caught up quickly with him. “ _Our_ overnight bag?” I asked him. He glanced at me and nodded.

We reached the valet. “I just need to get my bag out of the trunk,” he told the man handing him his ticket.

He turned to me and grinned. I grinned back and shook my head. I walked away a bit. I saw as his car was pulled up and he went to the trunk. He took out a duffle bag and then tipped the driver and the other man he had talked to and came back towards me. I grabbed the bag from out of his hand. He just smirked and said nothing. We walked back into the hotel and he went to the front desk. I walked towards the elevators and waited. After a moment he walked towards me with the hotel room keys.

 

We got into an elevator. We were alone. I leaned against one wall he leaned against the opposite, leaning his head back, exposing his beautiful neck. 

“What’s in the bag Elio?” I asked.

He sighed. “Boxers. Shirts. Shorts. Jeans. Polos. Socks. Toothbrushes. Toothpaste. Deodorant. Lube. Handcuffs. Rope. A whip. Some dildos -“ he stopped and laughed loudly when he saw my face.

“Fuck you,” I said jokingly, laughing along with him. I couldn’t believe how he was messing with me. I had butterflies in my stomach.

“If you want to, I won’t stop you,” he said shrugging. He laughed more as I shook my head. I loved his laugh so much. I loved him so much.

The elevator dinged and I let him step out first. I followed him down the hall. He reached our door and opened it. He stepped in and turned on the lights. The room was beautiful. It had a king sized bed. I dropped the bag on the floor and took off my suit jacket and my bow tie. I untucked my shirt. I saw Elio take off his coattails and then start taking off his vest.

I walked over to him. I took off his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt. He looked up at me. He ran his hands through his hair as I unbuttoned his shirt. I saw he was wearing the watch I gave him. I liked that. I ran my hands down his chest.

“So,” He said softly. “We’re both single.”

“No, we’re not single,” I said shaking my head and looking into his eyes. “We’re with each other.”

“Shouldn’t you ask me if I want to go steady? You’re just assuming here,” he said waving his right index finger between us, gorgeous smirk on his face.

I grabbed his hand and sucked his finger. Rolling my tongue around him.

“Ah... fuck,” he said softly. I slid his finger out of my mouth.

“I don’t care if I’m assuming. It’s the way it’s going to be,” I said softly. I leaned in and kissed him. I took my time kissing him. We had all the time in the world now. The feeling filled with with exhilaration. “I’ve missed your lips,” I said. 

I took his hand, and pulled him towards the bed. I pulled him on top of me, kissing him and running my hands inside his opened up shirt. I caressed his back and stomach and chest.

We looked into each other eyes. “Oliver,” I whispered. I kissed him soft and slow.

“Elio, Elio, Elio.” He whispered as I kissed his jaw and lips. 

I had never been happier in my life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed!  
> Our boys are back together again ;)  
> There’s more to this night but.. that’ll be the next chapter!  
> Hugs <3


	17. You Will Lack Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah... together again and in bliss!  
> Enjoy!  
> <3

Oliver and I kissed for a long time. I felt his hands all over me. It felt so good being with him again after all this time. I felt more myself. 

“You left Michael’s Superman at my place,” I said.

“I know,” he answered. “He started looking for it a few days later. I bought him a new one.”

I chuckled. I climbed off him and started getting undressed. I went to the duffle bag. I looked at Oliver. “So I wasn’t joking. I bought some clothes for you to change into,” I said.

“Thank you,” He said. We started changing into tee shirts and shorts. “How did you know I would need them?” He asked me shaking his head at me.

“I didn’t but,” I sighed dramatically, “But hope springs eternal in me!” I said winking at him. He laughed. I looked at my watch. It was 7:39 pm. I looked at him.

“What is it?” He asked me pulling me into him again. He knew me so well. I needed to talk about our time apart. Clear the air. I held him tight.

“I started writing on a notepad in September, after your birthday that we spent together,” I said. “I would write things I wish I could say to you, I’d write you letters and I’d write about my internal struggle of not being able to be with you. I did the same when you left when I was in Italy. It helped me so much.” Oliver nodded caressing my face. “I’m on notepad number twelve,” I said chuckling.

“Will you let me read them?” He asked me. We pulled apart and sat back down on the bed.

I let out a long breath and looked at him. “There’s some heavy shit in there,” I said to him. “If I was having a moment of despair, I let it all out in those pages. Well that and I composed,” I said. “And I had many moments of despair.” I glanced at him.

He nodded. “Can I explain?” He asked.

“Yes,” I said. I smiled and took his hand.

“So that day in July last year, I went home and told Karen that she and I needed to talk about our marriage,” he said.

Karen. “Karen,” I said nodding.

“Oh fuck, Elio! I’m -“

“No, it’s ok. It’s ok.” I said caressing his left thigh. It truly was.

He nodded. “So I spoke to her and she agreed that we weren’t happy but,” he sighed. “She wanted to do counseling and give it an honest try for a year.” I raised my eyebrows. “She told me that for me to give an honest try I had to stop seeing who I was seeing.”

I felt a cold feeling grip my stomach. “She knew?” I hadn’t truly let myself really think about that fact that Oliver had cheated on his wife with me.

Oliver shook his head. “She thought I was sleeping with another woman. We actually went to a marriage counselor and I told the counselor about it, about us. It felt good telling someone,” he said.

“Yeah, hence the notepads!” I said.

He smiled. “Anyway, she gave up on the counseling when she saw it wasn’t working. She saw that nothing was going to work, really. We had an awkward talk Valentine’s Day. She accused me again of being in love with another woman and asked me if I wished I had had kids with another woman,” he shook his head. “It was a mess. But I told her no, I mean,” he gave me an apprehensive look. “She’s a good mother.”

“Yeah, I mean, if she is, she is. I’m glad she is for your sons sakes,” I said.

He nodded. “Anyway, she told me she wanted a divorce.”

I nodded and raised my eyebrows. “Ok,” I said.

“I was worried about custody,” Oliver said. “She made a comment the first time we talked about it that if I was found cheating she would be given full custody,” he said he shook his head looking at me. I nodded at him. “Anyway, that’s why I pulled away.” He said softly.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Please, don’t be. Don’t ever be,” he whispered.

He kissed me. It felt so damn good to kiss him. “I’m so happy you’re single too,” he said smiling. I laughed. “If you hadn’t been I mean, I was ready to hold up a boom box playing ‘In Your Eyes’ in the middle of the wedding and everything!” We both burst out laughing.

“Were you really?” I asked.

“Yes, Elio. I’m done not having you in my life,” he said furrowing his brow and looking into my eyes.

I caressed his face. “So, have you thought about when the time comes how to tell Karen?” I asked.

He shook his head. “No, not yet.” He said softly looking down.

I lifted his face up. “We’ll figure it all out together,” I said smiling.

He smiled back. “We will. I do not plan to ever not have you in my life again, do you hear me?” His eyes were so intense. I nodded.

He grabbed me and kissed me roughly, holding my face tight. I almost couldn’t breath. When we finally pulled apart I was panting. “I heard you,” I said laughing.

“So,” He said leaning back on his hands. “When we saw each other when your parents were here. You were doing some serious flirting,” he said smiling.

I smiled back. “I had missed you so much,” I said. “I have such a weakness for you, Oliver.”

“Mmmmm. Good,” he said smiling. “So what happened with Valerie.”

“We just drifted apart, nothing dramatic,” I said shrugging. “Actually, I’m gonna call her and let her know I’m not coming home,” I said.

“She still at your place?” He asked me brow furrowed.

I nodded. “She’s staying for the holidays since she had planned on it,” I said. He didn’t look happy. “We’re in separate bedrooms,” I said.

“Ok,” he said. “I’ll call Karen too, afterwards.”

“You’re still at home?” I asked.

“Yeah, we plan to sell the house next spring,” he said. “Then we’ll go our separate ways.”

“And Ben and Michael?” I asked.

“Shared custody,” he said smiling. I nodded.

 

I got up and called Val. I told her not to wait up I’d be home sometime tomorrow.She said thank you for letting her know. Oliver then called Karen and told her he wouldn’t be home tonight either.

I laughed a little at the phone calls we had to make. It was ok thought. I sighed again.

“So, now that we have cleared the air,” Oliver said, “let’s talk about us.”

I smiled. “Lets,” I said. 

Oliver held both my hands and looked straight into my eyes. “I need you. I want you. Please, be with me always,” he said. The emotion in his face and eyes was unreal. 

I just nodded and grabbed him and kissed him. I started lifting his shirt. “Why did we get dressed?” I asked as I pulled it over his head and down his arms.

He laughed. “I don’t know,” he said. I took my shirt off. We looked at one another.

“I can’t believe this is real,” I told him. I pulled him to me and kissed him. His hands were all over my back.

“We’re not wasting any more days,” he said to me.

“Fuck,” I said. I closed my eyes and leaned my head on his chest. I took a few deep breaths trying to calm my beating heart. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked me.

“Nothing,” I said. “I just... I feel like I’m 17 again,” I said chuckling softly. “Damn it I don’t want to cry,” I said but it was too late. The tears started. Oliver held me tightly. After a moment I pulled back and saw he was crying too. “Why are you crying?” I asked him, wiping my face and laughing softly.

“Because its just such a relief to be with you. To be me with you,” he said sighing.“Back when I left I was so afraid of so many things. Now, I mean, it’s still not easy but,” he looked at me shaking his head.

“I know,” I said. “But it’s better.”

“It is. But regardless, when the dust settles, we’ll be coming home to each other every night and we’ll never be apart again.”

I sighed and nodded. “I can’t wait,” I whispered.

“Me neither,” he whispered back to me. 

 

He took my face in his hands and started kissing me. We walked back to the bed and I pushed him down on to it. I climbed on top of him. We kissed some more. 

“You went first last time, I’m going first this time,” he said. I loved the sexy smirk on his face.

“Who said it was up for discussion?” I asked. I held his wrist down on the bed. “I’m going first if I want to.” I said. He laughed. I leaned down and kissed him again.

He suddenly grabbed me and rolled me over, getting on top of me holding down my wrists. He was so strong, a lot stronger than I was and I loved it. “I said, me first,” he said kissing me. I loved the way he was looking at me.

“Let’s talk it over in the shower,” I said smiling up at him. He smiled back and nodded. He let go of my wrists. I sat up and looked at him as he walked to get some towels. He slid off his boxers and shorts.

“Are you coming?” He asked looking back at me as he made his way to the shower. I laughed and got up. I dropped my boxers and shorts as well.

 

I stepped into the bathroom. He was already in the shower. I stepped inside and slid the shower door shut. I watched him as he adjusted the water temperature and then turned the shower head on.

I walked towards him and kissed his neck as the water cascaded down on him. I bit it gently. “Mmmmmmmm,” he said. I kissed along his collar bone. I tilted my face up and kissed along his jaw. I gently bit his chin. 

He pushed me up against the wall of the shower. I slid my arms under his. I remembered our night out in Bergamo as he had pushed me against the wall and kissed me. We needed to make more memories like this and now we had a lifetime to make them.

“I liked the stubble you had when we had dinner with my parents,” I said to him. “Let it grow a bit,” I said gently biting his neck again.

“Anything you want,” he said to me. His lips found mine and he sucked on my bottom lip. “Mmmmmmmmm,” he said again. “Those lips of yours,” he whispered as he kissed me again. I felt him run his tongue along my bottom lip. I slid my tongue into his mouth and caressed his tongue with it. 

He pushed his hips against me and I felt his hard on rub on my lower abdomen.

“So who’s going first?” I asked him.

“I don’t care,” he said panting slightly.

I looked at him. He had his eyes closed. I kissed down his neck. “You are so fucking beautiful Oliver,” I whispered.

He opened his eyes and looked down at me. His blue eyes were twinkling and sparkling. They were so blue and just breathtaking. He looked so happy. “Say that again,” he said softly.

I smiled and looked up at him. “You are so fucking beautiful. You are the most beautiful human being I have had the pleasure of laying my eyes upon,” I said to him. “You eyes, your smile,” he smiled as I said this. “Your whole perfect body,” I said as I rubbed his chest. “And your perfect cock,” I said as I reached down and wrapped my fingers around it, giving it a gentle stroke. He groaned and kissed my neck. I laughed softly.

He licked and kissed my neck and then kissed my lips. “It’s all yours,” he whispered as he leaned his forehead on mine.

“I know,” I said, tilting my face up and kissing him. “It has always, _always_ been mine. Ever since I had it,” I said my heart beating fast. “It has always been mine hasn’t it?” I asked him looking into his eyes. I stroked him very, very slowly.

“Yes,” he said to softly.

“Tell me,” I said looking up at him. His eyes were closed

“My cock has always, _always_ been yours.”

I kissed him. I pulled him to me. He pressed me hard against the wall, his whole body pressed against me.

He kissed me. I loved how his whole body moved into mine as we kissed. He put his forehead to mine again. He was panting. “I need you inside of me,” he said softly.

I nodded. “I’ll always give you anything you want,” I said. I reached for the soap and started washing him. I took my time and ran my fingers over his body. My hands didn’t touch his erection though.

“Why are you making me wait?” He said laughing as he rinsed himself off.

“Because you get more beautiful the more impatient you are,” I said winking at him. He shook his head and stepped out from under the water. I stepped under and showered. He watched me the whole time. He was so hard. I loved it. I finally turned the water off.

 

I slid the shower door open. And stepped outside. I grabbed a towel and handed it to him. I grabbed the other and started drying myself off. “Stay right here,” I said. I walked into the bedroom and grabbed the lube from the overnight bag. I walked back into the bathroom. He was drying himself off. I put the lube on the bathroom counter. It was a long counter with double sinks. It had a huge mirror and the lights were along the top. I saw him in the mirror and smiled at his reflection. He smiled back to me.

I turned to face him. I went and kissed him. My back was to the mirror, but he was still facing it. I kissed down his body and got down on my knees. “You should watch in the mirror as I suck you,” I said. He looked down at me and then looked up.

I slid him in my mouth. He was already very hard. I licked and sucked his head clean first. It had been wet and glistening. I loved how he tasted. I had always loved it. No one tasted as good as him. I then slid him deeply into my mouth. I relaxed so I could take in as much of him as possible. There was no possible way I could every take all of him in, but I tried my best to take in as much as I could. I wanted to please him so, so badly.

I slid him in and out of my mouth. I felt his strong hand slide into my hair and grabbed it. I loved how he did that. He slowly started thrusting his hips. I looked up and saw he was looking straight ahead into the mirror. Good. I rolled my tongue around a couple of times and felt the goosebumps on his thighs as I rubbed them with my palms. I heard his groan.

I sucked as hard as I could. I was being slightly selfish. I could have made this last longer but I couldn’t wait to fuck him so I sucked as hard as I could. He grabbed my hair tightly as he came in my mouth. I relaxed my mouth around him and sucked gently until he was done. I rubbed my nose into his skin and kissed all around his lower abdomen as his body shook slightly. He relaxed his grip on my hair. I stood up. I kissed him. I slipped my tongue in his mouth and kissed him for a while. “See how delicious you taste,” I said to him, looking into his eyes as we pulled back. He nodded. He was panting again.

I took his hand and walked closer to the bathroom counter. “Bend over,” I told him.

He looked at me surprised. “Here?” He asked. 

“Yes, it’s perfect. It’s well lit. There’s this huge mirror. I want you to watch me fuck you,” I said. I looked at us in the mirror. “Plus I’ll have an amazing view of your face,” I said grinning at his reflection. He looked at my reflection in the mirror. He laughed and shook his head. He picked up the lube and put some on his hand and then on me. I loved how he did this. He watched as he stroke me and I watched his face. I loved how pleased he looked doing this. He picked up a towel and wiped his hands cleaned. He leaned over and put his elbows on the counter. I put some lube on my right hand fingers.

I stepped behind him. I looked at the mirror. I was so turned on. I rubbed his lower back with my left hand as I worked my fingers inside of him. I watched as he closed his eyes and moaned. I quickly slid in, I was so turned on. I was fixated on his gorgeous face. I watched as he furrowed his brow. I wasn’t going too fast yet. He still grimaced slightly as I would slide in slowly, going all the way inside. After a few slow thrusts, I suddenly pushed myself inside of him, deep and hard with a rough thrust. His lips parted. He looked up at my reflection with a bit of a pained looked. It was so sexy.

I started going hard and fast. He closed his eyes and I watched him as he moaned. He lowered his head. “No, no, look up, look up,” I said to him gently. He looked up and looked at me in the mirror. I then looked at myself. I watched my body as I fucked him. I watched as the muscles in my abdomen flexed and as I thrusted into him. I looked down at him again. I loved watching. His eyes were closed again. I watched his face, every expression it made. I watched his lips as he moaned and groaned and whimpered.

The sounds were echoing around the bathroom. He was getting louder. I felt him tense all around me. I could have slowed down if I wanted to make it last longer, but I was so impatient to see his face when he came. He was going to make a mess on the floor. I looked at myself again. I loved seeing this. I looked down at his face again.

I loved the expression he was making. He was getting closer. I shoved myself deep, deep inside of him. As deep as I could. I reached around and stroked him.

He lowered his head again. “No, Oliver, look up,” I said to him. He obliged. “Good, baby, good.” I said, praising him. I kept myself deep inside him. I watched his face intently. “Yes, yes,” I whispered. I kept myself in deep as I stroked him. He was so close. I could see it in his face. Then, he climaxed. Hearing him as I watched his beautifully perfect face was more than enough for me. I came inside him as well. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. He made sure he didn’t lower his face at all as he came. I knew he did that for me and it was perfect and amazing.

“Thank you, baby, thank you,” I said as I leaned down and kissed his back. I slid out of him slowly once I was finished. He stayed leaning over for a moment. I rubbed his back and kissed it softly. He finally stood up. I grabbed a towel and wiped myself off and threw the towel on the floor and wiped it with my foot, cleaning up his semen quickly. I grabbed the other towel for him and wrapped it around his waist. I held his hand and walked over to the bed. He crawled on it and laid on his stomach. I knelt beside him and started massaging his back gently.

“Mmmmm,” He said. I continued massaging him. I felt as if my heart could burst. “Come lay beside me,” he said softly.

I laid down to his left. I opened my arms and he wrapped his right arm around my waist as he laid his head on my chest. “Mmmmm,” He said again. I was so happy.

I caressed his hair with my left hand. I kissed his forehead. I ran my right hand up and down his left arm. I felt him relaxing on me. I could tell by his breathing that he was falling sleep. I kept caressing him slowly. A while later I could tell that he was sleep.

I laid my cheek on his head. “I am the happiest man in the world, Oliver,” I whispered softly to him. “I swore to myself that if I ever, EVER was lucky enough to call you mine again, I would do everything within me to make you the happiest man alive.” I closed my eyes. “I’m keeping that promise, beginning today,” I whispered to him. “You will lack nothing. I promise you that.” I caressed him still. His breathing slow and deep. “You and your sons will lack nothing,” I said. “I already love them as my own, because they are yours.” I whispered. I felt the tears in my eyes. I smiled. They were happy tears. It was ok. I was fine. More than fine. “I’m complete,” I said. More to myself than to him. I couldn’t believe how happy I was. I planned on being this happy for the rest of my life.

 


	18. Grow Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!  
> From this chapter on I’ll be posting every other day. I have another story (shameless plug) and I’m bouncing back and forth between the two :)  
> Hugs <3

I slowly blinked my eyes. I shifted a little. I closed my eyes again. I started remembering as I woke up. Elio. 

I lifted my head. The room was dark. The bathroom light was still on, but it was a bit far away from the bed. I sat up a bit. Elio was sleeping peacefully. I looked at him and smiled. I remembered the shower. The bathroom. The mirror. I slid out of the bed, slowly so as to not wake him. I slowly stood up. I slipped on some shorts. I walked to the door of the room and hung the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign.

I walked back to the bathroom to use the toilet. There was a towel on the floor. Had Elio done that? I didn’t remember. I looked at the mirror. I don’t think I would ever look at any mirror without remembering tonight. It felt good. I wanted to push all my limits. I wanted to experience everything with him.

I flushed the toilet and washed my hands. I saw the lube in the counter, I grabbed it and turned off the light. There was moonlight coming from the French doors at the end of the room. I walked to the bed and slipped off my shorts. I put the lube on my night table and got back on the bed. I wondered if he was cold. Laid down beside him. He felt very warm. I pulled his beautiful body close to me. I loved his warmth. 

He moaned and turned to me. “Oliver,” he whispered.

“Yes, my love?” I whispered back but he was asleep. I remember the first time I had made love to him, he had said my name, just like that. I replayed it in my head a few times. I still remembered everything about that night. He was nervous. He had said so. I thought of what had happened in the bathroom earlier. Elio had been anything but nervous. If anyone was nervous, it was me, but I loved how he took me places I would have never thought of going, emotionally and physically. I close my eyes and held him. I fell back sleep.

 

I was woken up by Elio kissing my neck. I blinked my eyes a few times. It was still dark. I didn’t know what time it was.

“It feels so good to spend the night with you,” he whispered to me.

“Yes it does,” I said to him. I ran my hands up and down his back as he kept kissing my neck. “Mmmmmm,” I said.

I felt his lips along my jaw to my chin and then on my lips. We kissed for a while. I felt him wrap his right leg around me. He was hard. “It means I can have you any moment I need you,” he said. “Like right now.”

I felt him turn around, laying in his right side, his back to me. I went to grab the lube from my bedside table, fumbling in the dark. I heard him laugh when I dropped it. “Sshhh,” I told him. “I’m supposed to be the sexiest, smoothest man you know.” I said chuckling as I finally grabbed it. 

“You are and always have been,” he said reaching back and stroking me. It felt amazing.

I kissed his neck as I put lube on me. “I need you just as badly,” I said. I reached for him and caressed his body. I slowly slid into him. He moaned.

I put my lips at the base of his neck and sucked gently as I started making love to him. I reached down and started stroking him. I took my time and enjoyed the way he felt. I heard his moans and pants. I was going slow and steady.

I wrapped my left arm tight around him and kept sucking his neck. I licked his skin and bit his shoulder. He felt so warm and perfect in my arms. He pushed his hips against my groin. I pushed myself in all the way. I was in as deep as I could be and stayed in. He grinded his hips against me. The soft skin feeling so good against mine. I groaned as he pleased me.

He started turning onto his stomach and I got on top of him. I started going faster and harder. My whole body was on his. I was biting his shoulder blade gently as I held his wrists down. He pushed his hips up against me again, I slid in deeper. I thrusted as fast as I could.

I close my eyes and focused on everything I was feeling. “You feel amazing,” I said as I pushed his wrists down onto the mattress.

“So do you,” he replied between pants. “Fuck me harder,” he moaned.

I did as he asked. He drove me crazy. I fucked him hard and fast. I moaned into his ear. He pushed his hips up. “Deeper,” he demanded.

“You want me deeper?” I panted in his ear. I felt myself get even harder. I couldn’t believe that was possible.

“Yes,” He said. I let go of his wrists and got up on my knees, pulling his hips up making sure I didn’t slip out of him. I grabbed his hips and held them tight as I pounded him harder than I ever had. He moaned louder.

“You... drive me... so... fucking... crazy...” I told him between pants as I thrusted into him. I wanted him pleased in any way he wanted to be. I loved the way he was moaning. The room was dark so I couldn’t see him and I could put all my attention on how I was feeling and how amazing he felt around me.

I could do this forever, I thought. I CAN do this forever, I told myself. I went as deep inside him as I could. I loved his moans, the feel of his skin. I dug my fingertips in deeper. I loved his skin. I loved all of him.

“I love this, I love this,” he kept saying. It was amazing. It never had to end. We had forever now. I heard his moans intensify. He came. I came soon after. We fell over on the bed. I held him tight and kissed him all over his shoulder and neck. We fell sleep again.

 

We woke up past 9:00 am. We ordered room service a while later. We were sitting outside on the small balcony eating.

“So, my album comes out the week after Thanksgiving. There will be a party, you need to come!” Elio said excited.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I said to him. I was so happy about it.

“So you said you’re selling your home in spring?” He asked me.

I nodded. “If we could have, we would have sold it this past spring but some pricey repairs came up. I hope it sells quickly.”

“Where will you be living?”

“I guess I’ll find an apartment or something,” I said shrugging.

“Why? I have a home,” he said to me.

I looked at him and smiled. “Are you asking me to go live with you?”

“I am,” he said leaning back in his chair. He looked at me, I could tell he was trying to gauge my expression. He had absolutely nothing to worry about.

“Yes, Elio. I want to spend every single day and night with you,” I said softly. I don’t think I had ever been happier.

“And I with you,” he said to me. “How quickly can you come?”

I thought about this. “I would have to somehow explain it to my sons,” I said. He nodded. “We, Karen and I haven’t had the divorce talk yet. Also I would want them to grow comfortable going between her place and mine,” I said. I sighed. “Maybe we can start spending the weekends together,” I said looking at him.

He nodded. “Yes and you can bring Michael and Ben with you. I really enjoyed spending time with them.”

I loved hearing that so much. “I’m sure they would love that,” I said. I remembered his home and the boys playing there. I suddenly remembered Valerie. “Or maybe we should wait until Valerie leaves?” I asked him.

“Why? She and I aren’t a couple anymore,” he said with a shrug.

I looked at him. “Wouldn’t it be weird?” I asked.

“Weird?” He asked looking confused.

“Yes, weird. You just broke up with her a few weeks ago,” I said.

He shook his head at me. “Oliver, I love you more than anything in the world. Since I love you this much and since we’re going to be spending our whole lives together,” he said with a beautiful smile, “I must tell you that you seriously over complicate your life by the way you overthink things.”

I stared at him. “What?” I said.

“You heard me. You overthink and over analyze. Like this. There is nothing weird with Valerie staying at my place at the moment and you coming to be with me on the weekends.”

I stared at Elio. I had never had anyone talk to me like this. “Can you explain that to me please,” I said. “How does the situation not make you feel weird?”

“I’ll be more than happy to explain,” he said. “First off, what I would do is talk to her. She knows about us and has known for a while. Even if she didn’t know before I owe her no explanation of me dating someone, since she and I are no longer a couple. Second I’d explain the man I’m with has children and they’ll be coming on the weekends. She’s the guest in my home, a welcomed one, yes, but still, a guest. If she dislikes any of it she can leave. Nothing weird about anything.”

“Yes, you’re right.” I said.

“I know,” he said smiling. “Now if we went and thought it was weird then we probably would have talked ourselves out of spending weekends together with your sons at my place. That would have been a shame,” he said.

I looked at him. I was again amazed by his maturity. “You’re so mature,” I told him. “Emotionally more mature than me,” I said to him. “I’m glad my boys will have you around as the grow up,” I said looking at him lovingly. 

He laughed softly. “I am not more emotionally mature than you,” he said smiling. “I love the fact that I’ll see your sons grow.” He smiled at me.

“You ARE more emotionally mature,” I replied, looking at him. “I think you just proved it,” I said.

“Hmmm,” He said. “Maybe it’s my turn to help you grow up,” he said winking at me.

I laughed. He was so sexy. I remembered that note and writing it. I had loved seeing his note under the door. I wanted him and knew he wanted me. I had loved writing that. I remember asking him the time later on that day at the end of lunch. God, it was amazing to think of him then and see him now. I thought of all he had said. “You told Valerie about us?” I asked him.

He nodded. “She already knew when she met you when we had dinner with my parents. It was actually her idea to invite you.”

I was shocked. “Really?” I sat up and looked at him.

He nodded. “I was struggling. The week before my parents came, I couldn’t sleep. Them coming to visit me somehow brought up all my feelings to the surface that I had for you and I knew I wanted to see you, but, well, things were complicated.”

“Yes,” I said.

“I was trying to keep myself from being hurt. You understand?”

“I do,” I said. 

“Anyway, I told her, that I knew you’d love to see my parents as much as they’d love to see you but I was concerned about how it would affect me,” he said.

“Ok,” I said. 

“So, she said to invite you to dinner out and that she and my parents would be there and it would all be ok. And it was,” he said smiling at me. I smiled back. I looked at him. “What?” He asked after a while. 

“How do you do that?” I asked softly.

“Do what?” He said laughing.

“Just... say everything you’re feeling? Without any fear? How are you so open?” I asked in admiration.

He looked at me and chuckled. “There is no trick. You just say what you feel. Usually honesty is the best policy,” he said.

“Usually?” I asked. He nodded. “When is it not?” I asked.

“When the person you’re talking to isn’t worth it,” he said.

I furrowed my brow. “Worth it?”

“Yeah, Oliver,” he said. “Not everyone is worth your time, patience or honesty.”

I stared at him. “You’re amazing,” I said smiling. I reached for his hand and he gave it to me. “I’m the luckiest man in the world to have you as my partner in life,” I said.

 

We finally came back into the hotel room. I looked at him. “I don’t want to leave,” I said. I was being honest.

“Do you mean you don’t want to leave ME?” He asked me smiling. “Or you don’t want to leave this luxurious hotel?” He laughed.

“I don’t want to leave YOU, goose,” I said smiling. “I want to spend more time with you. The more the better.”

He smiled at me. “Spend the night at my place then, it’s close to UCLA. When we leave here, go get a change of clothes and go spend the night at my place.”

My first reaction was to worry I would rock the boat with Karen, but why? We’re divorcing. Like Elio said, I had to stop overthinking and over analyzing. I had to grow up. “Yes,” I said smiling. He smiled back at me. “Yeah, let’s do that. I’ll call you when I’m leaving my place,” I said.

“Ok,” he said kissing me.

He packed up everything in his overnight bag. I put in my dress pants and shirt. He took my jacket and bow tie. He told me when I got there he would take everything to the cleaner’s for me. I thanked him. 

“I get a discount at this one place, I wear suits all the time for concerts,” he said laughing.

At 11:00 am we checked out. We went to the valet. “Go ahead,” he told me and I gave the valet my ticket first. Once my car came he hugged me and told me he would see me later. I smiled. I couldn’t wait.

 

I smiled driving all the way home. I couldn’t believe how amazing everything was. I put the radio on and sang along to every song. Soon enough I was pulling into my street and into the driveway.

I got out and stepped inside.

“Oliver! Hey!” Karen called from the kitchen. 

“Hey!” I said.

“Daddy!” Michael came running to me and Ben came right behind him. I picked them both up. I walked into the kitchen.

Karen did a double take when she saw me. “Wow! Was the reception that good you lost half your suit?” She asked me.

I only laughed but said nothing. She didn’t need to know anything.

“Anyway,” she said. “I’m glad you’re back. I wanted to go see baby Karen this afternoon. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind watching the boys,” she said smiling.

“No. That would be great. I have plans but they can come with me. We’ll all be back tomorrow,” I said. I put the boys down. They ran off.

“What?” Karen looked at me stunned.

“I ran into my friend at the wedding. The one that came to visit a couple of years ago. It’s actually the reason I stayed over night so we could catch up. I’m going back to his place. I can bring the boys with me, no problem.” I said smiling.

She was speechless. “Would he be ok with that?” She asked me. “Is his place safe for children?”

“Yes he would be ok with it. And of course his place is safe. Why would I take my sons anywhere that was unsafe, Karen?” I asked.

She shrugged and looked at the floor crossing her arms. “Are you sure you’re not going to go see some woman?” 

I felt a surge of anger. “Grow up Karen!” I said sternly. She looked at me, her eyes wide. “We have made great progress. Don’t fuck things up. We’re being honest and decent. I am NOT going to go see some woman. I will take the boys and you can do as you please!” I stared at her. “Soon enough we’ll be living separately. We need to get used to doing our own thing,” I said more calmly.

She nodded. “I’m sorry,” she said. 

“It’s fine.” I said.

“Please, leave me his number on the notepad. I’d like to call them to say good night,” she said.

“That’s fine,” I said.

“Ok, so, Michel will be dropped off at school tomorrow, but what about Ben? You work tomorrow as do I.”

I knew Elio didn’t have a concert of rehearsal tomorrow. “He’s off work tomorrow. Remember Monday I only have the mid morning lecture. I’ll be back to his place by lunch time. It’ll be fine. The boys and I will be back for dinner.” I said. 

“Ok,” she said and smiled and nodded.

“Ok, I’m gonna shower and change. You can leave the moment I’m done,” I said. She nodded.

I walked to the phone table and wrote down Elio’s number. I went upstairs and showered. I got out and put some jeans and a red polo shirt on. I got an overnight bag ready for me and the boys. I was zipping it when Karen and the boys came upstairs.

“Ok, I’m leaving,” she said smiling. 

“Ok,” I said nodding.

“Ok, Michael, you’re the oldest. You’re gonna see daddy’s friend. Be very good please and look after Ben,” she said.

“Ok!” He said. She hugged and kissed him. She then hugged and kissed Ben. 

“Take my car,” I said.

She nodded. “Ok.” She smiled at me. “I got his number, thank you,” she said.

“No problem. See you tomorrow. Have a good time at your cousin’s.”

“Ok,” she smiled and exited the bedroom. I heard her go down the stairs and walked out the front door.

I bathed the boys and dressed them. We all went downstairs. 

“Daddy, I’m gonna take some cars,” Michael said.

“Ok!” I said. I had to remember to bring them back. Ben saw him and went to pick up one of his small trains. I smiled. I walked to the phone and picked up. I called Elio.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” I said smiling.

“Hi,” He said to me.

“Listen, change of plans. I’m bringing the boys. We’re all staying overnight! Is that ok?” I asked him.

“It’s MORE than ok! Awesome! Can’t wait!”

“Great, see you soon,” I let out a deep breath. “I love you,” I said

“I love you more,” was his reply.

I was the happiest man alive.

 


	19. Family Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!  
> I’m posting two chapters tonight! This one is just one that I wanted to write for me and decided to include it!  
> Hope you enjoy!  
> Hugs <3

I put the boys in their seats and threw the duffle bag in the car. I drove off. I remembered the last time I had made this trip with them. The difference couldn’t have been greater. I finally reached the street I had to turn into. Third right. Second left. I drove down slowly. I saw his car in his driveway. Suddenly I saw him. Elio. I smiled widely. I parked and got out. 

“Hey!” He said smiling. He had jeans and a white v neck. He looked... perfect.

“Hay is for horses,” I said smiling.

“Ha ha,” he laughed. “Ok, give me your bag that you brought. I’ll run it in. We need to go grocery shopping. I, again, have no kid friendly food!” He said.

I smiled and got the bag and gave it to him. I waited for him. He came back and held out his hand out. “What?” I asked.

“I’m driving!” He said.

I handed him the keys and we were off. We reached the grocery store in less than 10 minutes. We grabbed two shopping carts. He was pushing the one with Michael in it, I had the one with Ben. 

I enjoyed this. I remember when he had visited and we had gone grocery shopping. Now we were grocery shopping with my sons for dinner tonight. I couldn’t believe how something so simple made me so happy.

Michael said he wanted another cake and Elio said yes. I smiled at him. Elio could get them whatever he wanted tonight if it made him happy. Once we had picked out our food, Elio said the boys needed a movie and we walked over to where they were. He got Alice in Wonderland and Peter Pan.

“I need to expand my kid’s movie collection,” he said to me. I loved how excited he was about doing things with Ben and Michael.

Finally we checked out and made our way to the car. We loaded everything in and put the boys in their car seats. We got in ourselves, he was going to drive home.

He pulled my keys out of his pocket. He then reached into his pocket again and got another key out. He showed it to me with a smile.

“What is that?” I asked him.

“Your key to my home,” he said smiling. I smiled at him as I saw him put it on my key ring.

He leaned forward and kissed me. I was so happy.

“Ew! If you kiss you get cooties!” Michael said. We laughed and went home.

 

Once we got inside I realized I was actually starving. We had bought ingredients to make different types of pizzas.

“Michael! Hey! Do you remember last time you came here for daddy’s birthday?” Elio asked him kneeling down to be face to face with him. Michael nodded. “You left your Superman! Do you want it back?”

“Yes!” Michael yelled and ran out of the kitchen. Elio took Ben’s hand and looked at me and smiled as they walked out. I grinned and shook my head. I heard the commotion of Michael running around and yelling and Ben laughing. Elio popped his head in the kitchen entrance. “I’m taking them to the backyard. Michael needs to run around!” He said.

“Ok,” I said laughing and nodding. 

I continued with the pizzas. I was so happy. I could do this whenever I wanted to now. It was amazing. The house fell silent as Elio and the boys stepped outside.

I chopped up what I thought was enough of the vegetables and then started working on the dough. I liked to make my own, so once it was ready I put it in a bowl and covered it to let it rise. I went to the fridge and pulled out a couple of juice boxes. I was going to go outside a minute and see what all three of my boys were up to.

I was walking out of the kitchen when the front door opened. I froze. Valerie stepped inside. She had a light pink blouse and white shorts. She had pink sandals matching her shirt. Her hair was down and loose. She looked beautiful. She saw me and smiled warmly. “Hey, Oliver!” She said shutting the door. She walked over and hugged me.

“Hi!” I said, patting her back.

“How are you? How was the wedding?” She was smiling warmly. I suddenly remember all Elio had said. Nothing to feel weird about.

I took a deep breath. Grow up, Oliver, I told myself. “I’m wonderful thank you. The wedding was beautiful,” I said. “How are you?”

“Good to hear,” she said. “I’m great thank you. I was out with a friend and I came to get some clothes. I’m gonna spend the night with her.”

“Ok,” I said. I heard Michael and Ben yelling and running around.

“Oh! Are those your sons?” She asked. I nodded. “Can I meet them?”

“Of course,” I said smiling.

We walked through the living room to the sliding glass doors. Valerie slid one open and we stepped outside. Elio looked over and saw us. He waved. Michael was running around. When he saw us he waved too. Ben was laughing as well and running around. Elio walked to him and took his hand. 

“Hey, Val,” he said.

“Hey!” She said. She knelt down and waved at Ben.

“That’s Ben,” I said.

“Aw! Hi Ben!” She waved at him. She looked up at me. “He’s adorable! He looks just like you!” She said laughing and looking up at me. I smiled down at her.

Michael ran up. “Can I have juice daddy?” He asked.

“This is Michael,” I said. I popped the straw in the box and handed it to him.

“Hi Michael,” she said.

“Hi!” He yelled and ran off again.

Elio took the other juice box from my hand so he could give it to Ben. “I want juice, daddy,” Ben said to Elio. I heard Valerie gasp. Elio froze and looked at me. “Juice, daddy!” Ben repeated. Elio sat in the ground and popped the straw in the juice box and put the straw to Ben’s lips. He looked at me again. I smiled at him.

Valerie stood up. “That was the cutest thing ever!” She said squeezing my arm.

“It was,” I said.

I watched Elio rub Ben’s back.

“Ok! I’m leaving before I cry!” Valerie said laughing softly. Elio smiled at her. “I’m spending the night at Kim’s. I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Bye!” She said.

“Bye,” Elio and I replied. I knelt down on the ground. I took Ben’s shirt and wiped his chin with it, he had dribbled some juice on it. My heart was pounding a little bit. “Are you ok with him calling you daddy?” I asked softly. I looked at his face. I suddenly worried if it was too much too fast. 

“Yes,” He said looking into my eyes. We sat there a moment as Ben sipped the juice. Michael told me to watch how high he could jump. I watched him and told him he was so great. I couldn’t be happier.

“I’m all done, daddy!” Michael said and ran over. He jumped on me and gave me his juice box. I laughed.

“I all done, daddy,” Ben said said looking up at Elio.

“Ok,” he said looking down at him and smiling.

“Ben called you daddy!” Michael said to Elio and laughed.

“Yes, he did,” I said looking at Michael and smiling.

“Is that ok?” Michael asked me.

“Yes, Michael. It’s ok. We are going to be spending a lot of time here together so Elio will be another daddy for Ben and you,” I said. Michael nodded.

“Ok!” He said. “Should I call you daddy too?” He asked Elio.

Elio smiled at him, “That is completely up to you, Michael,” he said. “I’ll be happy with whatever you decide.”

He nodded again. “Ok!” He said. “I’m hot now.”

 

We all went inside. I walked to the kitchen. The pizza dough was ready. “I need to change Ben,” I told Elio.

“Oh, I can do it,” he said. “If that’s ok with you?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Ok, I’ll be right back.” He said. He looked so happy. I loved this.

I called Michael into the kitchen and I washed his hands and got him to help me make the pizzas. We did one for him and Ben and one for Elio and I. We slid them in the oven. I went to wash his hands again.

“But if Ben called Elio daddy does that mean you’re not his daddy anymore?” He asked me me as I dried them.

“No. It just means Ben has two daddy’s,” I said to him smiling. 

“But I’ll get confused if I call him daddy because I call you daddy. Ben still calls you dadda.” He said. 

“Ok, buddy. You don’t have to call him daddy. You can call him something else,” I said.

“Can I just call him dad? Dad Elio?” He asked me.

“I’m sure that’s ok, buddy,” I said caressing his hair. “So we will be spending lots of time together, Elio and Ben and us. What do you think?”

“I like dad Elio,” he said smiling. “He told me he can teach me piano if I want to learn piano,” he told me.

“Yes, dad Elio plays the piano very nicely,” I told him smiling. I decided to refer to Elio the way the boys referred to him. It only seemed right. I was so happy.

Elio returned with Ben. He had changed his shirt as well. “Can we watch Peter Pan?” Michael asked.

“Yes, come on!” Elio said. Michael ran out. I started cleaning the kitchen up. I eventually heard the movie start to play.

A moment later, Elio came back into the kitchen. He walked to me quickly and wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him back. He then kissed down my neck. “I couldn’t be any happier,” he whispered to me.

“Me neither,” I said. I looked at him. “I’m so happy we found our way back to each other,” I said to him. He smiled and kissed me again.

 

* * *

 

When the pizzas were done, we paused the movie and brought the boys to the dining room table. Elio held Ben on his lap as he ate. Ben reached over and was eating pieces of pizza we had cut up for him. Once we were done eating Michael went back to watching Peter Pan. Elio and I cleaned up the kitchen. Ben was there too, playing with his toy train. Once we were done I picked up Ben and we walked to the living room to watch the end of the movie.

Elio sat beside me, his head on my right shoulder with his hand on my thigh. “This is our first family movie night,” he whispered to me.

I looked down at him as he tilted his face up at him. “Yes and it’s perfect.” I leaned down and gave him soft kiss on the lips. He smiled up at me. I loved how happy he looked.

 

After the movie finished we went to the kitchen and got us all cake.

“Where is the birthday candles?” Michael asked.

I laughed. “It’s not anyone’s birthday buddy!”

“Dad Elio when is your birthday?” Michael asked.

I watched Elio’s face. He smiled at Michael. “It’s December 27,” he said. 

We ate cake and a mess was made, again. Once they were done we went to bathroom and put them in the tub and gave them a quick bath. They were put into their pajamas.

The phone rang soon after and I told Elio it was probably Karen calling. It was. She talked to Michael for a moment. Then I put the phone to Ben’s ear and he just smiled and said good night a couple of times. I spoke to her a couple of minutes and told her the boys had had pizza and a movie.

“Are they having fun?” She asked me.

“We’re are all having an amazing time,” I said.

“Ok,” she said. 

I hung up shortly after. 

“How about some relaxing music?” Elio asked.

“Ok!” Michael said. We walked to the sunroom and Elio sat at the piano bench. Michael sat between us and I had Ben on my lap.

He started playing Ravel, Le Jardin Féerique. Michael loved it. Ben kept trying to touch the keys. I kept grabbing his little hands. Elio laughed. He took him from me and let Ben hit the keys. Then grabbed his little fingers and played a little tune with them. Ben laughed.

“My turn! My turn!” Michael said. I grabbed Ben and he put Michael on his lap. He played something pretty fast and lively with Michael’s fingers as he had with Ben’s. Michael loved it. They did that for a while.

Ben was starting to yawn so I got up and went to Elio’s room. I put Ben on the bed and I changed into a tee shirt and some shorts. I put some pillows up against the headboard and gently rubbed and patted Ben’s back.

I could hear the piano softly. After a while it stopped and the door slowly opened. I heard Elio whisper something to Michael and they both came in quietly. Michael had his Superman and he climbed on the bed with Elio’s help. I was sure Ben was sleep. I went into the guest bedroom and put pillows around the bed and laid Ben down. I went back to Elio’s room. Michael was on the bed with him with several books.

“Daddy lets read Robert Frost!” He said. I smiled and raised my eyebrows.

“I was about his age when I started reading Frost,” Elio said.

“Ok,” I said smiling.

“I’ll be right back,” Elio said and took some sleep clothes and walked out of the room. I got on the bed beside Michael. Elio came back a few minutes later and sat on the other side. He had changed into a tee shirt and some shorts as well. We let Michael read and would help him with bigger words. We stuck to short poems. Elio would ask him what he thought and what did the poem look like. It amazed me that Michael was very into the conversation and his imagination blew me away. This wasn’t something Karen or I had ever done with Michael. 

“Read me one long one,” Michael said and leaned on Elio as he started reading The Mountain. Michael fell sleep before it was over. I picked him up gently and walked to the guest bedroom. I laid him down beside Ben and Elio rearranged the pillows around the

We quietly went back to his room.

 

“Should we get different beds? Two twins? Maybe?”

“I think they’re ok,” I said shrugging.

“Well, we should get them something that they’re used to. I want them to feel comfortable.”

“We’ll figure it out,” I said as we got in the bed. I was feeling a bit worn out.

“God I’m tired. They wear you out,” he said flopping down on his stomach. I laughed. 

He got up suddenly and grabbed my left hand. He held it up to me. I looked at it and saw my wedding ring. I slid it off my finger. “For the record,” I said as I placed it on one of the night tables, “I was about to take it off when I went to dinner with you and your parents but...” I trailed off.

He laughed and laid down beside me. “Bygones,” He said.

We turned off the lights and held each other. We were sleep in no time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> Now go read the next one =P  
> Hugs <3


	20. Need To Know Basis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now we shall move the story along...  
> Make sure you catch up on the chapter before this one before moving along! I’ve posted two tonight!  
> Hugs <3

The next morning was a little hectic. It was a bit of a drive to Michael’s school so I had to get him up a bit earlier than normal. Finally though, we were ready to go. I dropped him off and then drove back to campus. At least I only had one lecture at 10 am. 

Once it was done I was in my office getting things ready when a knock came to my door. “Come on in!” I called out. 

“Hi,” I heard a soft voice. I looked up. It was Valerie.

“Hi,” I said. “How are you?”

“Good thank you,” she shut the door behind her. She walked in.

“Come on, sit down,” I said as I moved some books off the couch. 

“Thank you,” she said. She sat and crossed her legs. He had jeans and a purple top on.

I sat beside her. I wasn’t sure what she wanted. “So, this is a surprise,” I said trying to sound friendly.

“I know,” she said smiling. “I just wanted to... clear the air,” she said shrugging. 

“Ok.” I said nodding, still feeling clueless.

“I actually just wanted to tell you that I’m happy that you and Elio are back together. I know he loves you very much.”

“I love him just as much,” I said.

“Good,” she said nodding. She looked down at her lap.

“Elio told me it was your idea to have me invited to dinner with his parents,” I said.

“Yes, it was.”

I took a deep breath. “Forgive me if this comes across as rude in any way but, why would you do that?” She looked up at me. “I just don’t know if I were you if I’d have done that,” I said.

She nodded. “I actually,” she let out a breath. “That’s actually why I’m here.”

“Ok.”

“So I met Elio by pure luck. I asked for his number. I asked him out. Twice! Once to a New Year’s Eve Party. Then after on another date and then we finally kept seeing each other. I did all the pursuing which I was fine with. I was pretty much living with him by April.”

I nodded.

“I had been there less than a month when he was going to have the conductor over for dinner. So, I said I would cook. I wanted to, you know, make a good impression. So he went out for something, I can’t remember. I started cleaning up. He had a notepad that he had left by the tv. That and some books. I had always noticed he always had the notepad. It was something constant. I never asked,” she shook her head.

“Elio told me about the notepads,” I said.

She nodded. “I thought it was just one because they all look the same,” she said. “I just flipped it open out of curiosity. Nothing prepared me for what I read.”

I nodded.

“So, I read some and then I found the others. And read some more. I didn’t read it all but I read enough to know that, when it comes down to it, everyone just plays second fiddle to you,” she said.

I looked at her face. She didn’t look angry or sad. “You were just ok with that?” I asked.

“Well, the thing is I had moved here to get away from a bad break up myself,” she said. “So I don’t know how ready I was to be completely serious but it’s hard to not just love Elio. He’s smart, funny, talented, well you know!” She said laughing.

“I do,” I said smiling at her.

“Anyway, so I cared a lot but we still felt a bit casual, even though we were living together. The notepad told me why. He only loves you. It’s real, what he feels for you,” she said. “So I knew his and my time was limited.” 

“I see,” I said.

“So, I processed it. I wasn’t angry but I knew it wasn’t going to last. Soon after his parents were coming and he wasn’t sleeping, which was very unlike him and he told my why and I just thought, hey, you guys hadn’t talked in a while, maybe see if it was a good time to reconnect. Plus,” she looked at me for a moment. “I was REALLY curious to meet you. I was like, who is this other worldly being that has just ruined Elio for everyone else!”

I looked at her shocked. I didn’t know what to say.

“I don’t mean that in a bad way,” she said. “But it’s true. There is you and then there is everyone else. I wanted to meet you.”

I nodded. 

“I must say, you didn’t disappoint Oliver,” she smiled at me. 

“Thank you?” I chuckled and shook my head.

“Anyway, I just wanted you to know I truly only want the best for you two. And I’m glad you two can be together. You both deserve to be happy.” She got up. “I hold no animosity. Elio is my friend really, he’s a good person.”

“Thank you,” I said. “Yes, has amazing.”

She nodded. “Ok, I’m gonna go,” She said. “I’m glad I got that off my chest.”

“Thank you,” I said. Suddenly a thought popped into my head. “Valerie, can I ask you something?”

“Yes?”

“How did it make you feel when you found out about Elio?”

“That he’s bi?” She asked. “Or that he’s been in love with you for seven years?” She asked chuckling. 

“Both?”

She took a deep breath. “I don’t have any problems with anyone in a same sex relationship so, it didn’t bother me in that he had been with a man,” she said. “The only thing that made me sad is that we never had a chance, he and I. Elio is amazing in so many ways but he’s closed off to others really. I’m sure the only person he’s ever let in, truly, is you.” 

I nodded.

“Me seeing the notepad was a bit of a blessing in disguise,” she said. “It let me not fall hard. If the person you love can never love you, it’s sad.” She shrugged.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Anytime,” she smiled and got up. “See you later.”

“Later!”

She turned and walked out the door, shutting it behind her.

 

* * *

 

I was driving to Elio’s still processing all Valerie had said. I wondered if Elio knew. Did it matter? We were together now and Valerie answered some questions I had and I actually now felt better about her. I was worried she might be jealous and maybe cause some issues. I only thought that though because I feel that’s how Karen would react. Now, the next step was telling Karen.

I pulled into the drive way. I walked inside. The house was quiet. Then I heard the tinkling of piano keys. I took off my shoes and walked down the hallway. I could hear Ben laughing. I made it to the end of the hallway and found Elio with Ben on his lap playing the piano. I walked in and sat beside them.

“Hey!” He said.

“Hi.” I leaned in and kissed him then kissed Ben’s head. “So what did you two do this morning?” I asked.

“Well, we woke up. Had some cereal. Went to Toys R Us,” he spun around and put Ben on the floor. “Come and look!” He said getting up.

I got up and we walked down the hallway to the room the boys had slept in. There was a wooden train track built in the floor. Ben ran over and started playing.

“So, he loves trains,” Elio said.

“He does,” I agreed.

We stayed with him in there a while more. We then all went out and into the kitchen. I ate while Elio gave some food to Ben. It was almost time for me to go.

“So when can you come back?” He asked me.

“Tomorrow night,” I said.

He beamed at me and held me. “I wish you three could just come live with me forever,” he said.

“Me too,” I whispered to him. I kissed him. 

“Juice Daddy!” Ben called out. We both went for the fridge. We laughed. 

After Ben had eaten and had been changed, I got the bag and packed it. I told Elio we would leave the train track here for when they boys came back next weekend.

“Do you think Karen will have a problem with that?” He asked me.

“No,” I said. “What I think I’ll do though is come here Friday night and leave Sunday that way they’re home to sleep Sunday and it’s not so hectic.”

“Ok,” Elio said.

“And then weekend after the boys probably won’t be coming even if I do. She’ll want some time with them.”

“I understand,” he said.

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. “I can’t wait to be back tomorrow night,” I said to him.

He leaned forward and sucked on my bottom lip. “You and me both,” he whispered to me.

It was time to go. I got the bag and Elio carried Ben out for me. Once Ben was in his seat, Elio took my hand.

“Call me when you get home safe,” he whispered to me.

“Will do,” I said. I looked at his beautiful face. “I love you.”

“I love you,” He replied. He squeezed my hand.

I walked around and got in the car. I backed out and then straighten out the stearing wheel. I put my car in drive. I looked up and smiled when I saw him still there. He waved. I waved back and took off.

 

* * *

 

 

I picked up Michael at school and then drove home. I gave the boys a snack. I called Elio.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hi! I already miss you guys.”

I felt so warm inside. “Hopefully the week will fly by and we’ll be back before you know it.” I said. He and I chatted a few more minutes and then hang up. 

I changed into something comfortable and was on the couch when Karen walked in.

“Hey!” She said to the boys. Michael ran and hugged her.

“Hi mommy!”

“Hey did you have fun this weekend?”

“Yeah we had birthday cake but no candles,” Michael said. I laughed. 

“How’s your friend?” She asked me.

“Good,” I said not looking up.

“Where does he live?”

“Hombly Hills.”

“Oh. What does he do?”

“He’s a pianist,” I said looking up at her. 

“That’s impressive. I wasn’t expecting that,” she said. “He sounded kinda young when he picked up the phone,” she said.

I shrugged. I wish she would stop. I looked back down at the paper work I had on the coffee table. She finally went into the kitchen. I sighed. I wish she would stop but I eventually she’ll need to know. And I wanted her to like him. Fuck. Ok. I should try to be nice. I needed to get past my feeling of keeping Karen in a need to know basis. I had to open up to her. 

“So how was work? School?” I call out.

“Good! I got some sweet little ones in my class. I’m having so much fun!” I heard from the kitchen.

“That’s awesome!” I said.

I closed my folder up and walked into the kitchen behind her. “I’m going to be out tomorrow night,” I said. She turned to look at me and nodded. “I’d also like to have to boys this weekend. We’ll leave Friday night and we’ll be back Sunday night.”

“Ok,” she said nodding. “I know we never talked about what shared custody means but, have you thought more about it now?”

“Not really,” I said. “But I figured the weekend after that they should stay home to spend time with you.”

She nodded. “This coming weekend is actually perfect. We’re having long meetings Saturday and Sunday. So, Sunday as long as they’re back by dinner and bedtime. Or whatever, bedtime, it’s all good,” she said smiling.

“Ok,” I said nodding. 

Michael ran up to me. “I’m hungry!”

“Ok! How about grilled ham and cheese sandwiches!”

“Yeah!” He jumped up and down. Ben clapped.

 

* * *

 

After dinner I give the boys a bath and put them to bed. It all took a long while but I enjoy every second of it. One day I won’t be able to do this. I sighed as I rub Ben’s back. Finally he fell sleep.

I went to my room and lay down. I couldn’t wait until I was laying down with Elio every night. 

I suddenly wonder what he was doing. Is he in bed? I pictured him in bed. Ok no, bad idea. Bad idea. I needed to go to sleep. I sighed. I couldn’t wait till tomorrow night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah.. hope you all enjoyed!  
> Hugs <3


	21. I Wasn’t Ready Then, I’m Ready Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some deep emotional confessions from our boys are up ahead...  
> Hope you enjoy!  
> Hugs <3

Tuesday afternoon I walked briskly to my office after my last lecture. I had been thinking non stop about Elio all day from the moment I had woken up. While I showered, I got so hard I had to take care of it. During lectures at least I was able to push the thoughts of him at home waiting for me to the back of my mind. Lunch was horrible. I had one hour between lectures. Had I had two, I would have driven to his place, fucked him and come back. But I only had one hour between lectures so I stayed on campus. I didn’t trust myself. 

Finally, after another two lectures I was done. I was in my office and gathering up everything I need. 

A knock. _FUCK!!!_ “Yes?!”

“Hey, Oliver!” I looked up.

“Hi Sandra,” I smile quickly, putting what I need in my bag. Sandra taught History and she liked to talk... a lot!

“So... the other day I was talking to Freddie, math Freddie not the other one and he was talking about this book. He said you may know it.”

“Um, Sandra I really have to go. Let’s talk tomorrow.” I said as, in the most polite way possible, pushed her out of my office. I shut the door behind me. “Bye!”

She just waved at me stunned.

 

I finally made it to my car and drove out of campus. The rush hour traffic was insane. I honked at the guy in front of me. “Green means go!” I yelled. My window was open so he heard me. He gave me the finger. “Real mature!” I yelled out. “Asshole,” I mutter under my breath.

Finally, I reached the street. One, two, three, turn. One, two, turn. There is his car. I pull in, park. Grab my bag. Get out. Lock car. Which key... that one. I’m about to put it in when the door flies open.

 

Standing there, looking amazing as always, is Elio, huge grin on his face. I walk in. He shuts the door and I drop my bag and push him up against the door, kissing him roughly. He only had shorts on. I grabbed him from behind and lifted him up, he wrapped his legs around me.

I pulled back, panting. “You been thinking bout me?” He asked. 

I grinned at him. I’m very happy for my height and weight advantage right now as I start walking to the bedroom, carrying him. His legs still around me. “Baby, you have no fucking idea!”

He let out a gorgeous laugh. “Good. I’ve been thinking about you too.”

“Watch your head,” I say as I walk through the bedroom door. I kicked the door shut with my leg.

I threw him on the bed. I quickly started undressing. He got up on his knees and slipped off his shorts and boxers. He was fully nude now. I could feel my mouth water.

I climbed on the bed, kicked my shoes off and pushed him down. I took him in my mouth. His moans are amazing. The way he tasted was amazingly good. I get up quickly, on my knees and undo my pants, pushing them and my boxers down. Once I had a few buttons of my shirt undone I pull it off. 

I laid back down on my stomach and take him in my mouth again. He leaned his head back against the headboard, knees bent, legs spread. His hands are all in my hair and caressing my shoulders and upper back. I love how he lifts his hips up to meet my hungry mouth. I roll my tongue around and suck and caress him, rubbing his thighs.

“So good, it feels so good,” he says, praising me. I love it. I please him with more earnest. I wanted him to be left wanting nothing.

I felt him tug my hair harder. His hips lifting off the bed. He was getting closer to orgasm. I moaned as I rolled my tongue around him.I felt his release hit the back of my throat. I swallowed every single drop of of it, caressing his thighs and abdomen gently until he was completely done. I release him from my mouth.

I sat up and looked up at him. He was still leaning his head back, panting. I watched his chest rise and fall. I leaned forward and kiss his beautiful neck. I run my left hand up the back of his neck and up into his hair. I wrapped my fingers around his dark curls. Our lips meet.

He pushed himself up and climbed on top of me, straddling me as I sat back on the bed. We continued to kiss. “Mmmm you HAVE missed me then,” he said, laughing softly.

“Did you think I was lying about it?”

“No,” he said pulling back and looking into my eyes. I caressed his face. He leaned forward and bit my jaw gently. “Lean back against the headboard,” he whispered to me.

We pulled apart and I did as he asked. He reached for the lube. He put some in his hand and started stroking me with it. I moaned and ran my hand up his chest. I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him to me, kissing him.

He put the lube down and leaned forward, kissing me more. I pull him to me. He laughed gently as I bit his neck. He turned around, pressing his back to my chest. I ran my hands up his thighs to his hips. He slid down my body. I held my erection up for him and put my tip just inside of him. I moaned as he slid his body down on me. I watch as I enter him. I pushed my hips up to make sure I was all the way in him. He leaned forward, putting his hands on my knees and I watch as he starts riding me. I grabbed his hips and pushed them down on me as I thrust up.

The feeling was amazing. We had never done this before. I watch, mesmerized, as I looked down and see him slide his body up and down on me. I’m so damn hard. He looks so beautiful. His soft, pale skin glistening with sweat. I was getting close already. It was too good.

I suddenly pushed up, grabbing him around the waist. I slid off the bed and bent him over the side. I grabbed his shoulders and pinned him down on the mattress as I thrusted hard and fast until I came deep inside him. It felt so amazing. I closed my eyes and panted. After a while I let go of his shoulders and run my hands down his back, caressing him.

We both crawled back up on the bed. He wrapped his arms around me. I let out a deep breath as I held him. I felt so complete.

 

I blinked my eyes. There was a bird chirping but it wasn’t that bright anymore. I looked at my watch, 5:37 pm. I looked at Elio. He was sleeping peacefully. I lay there a few minutes until my stomach begins to grumble. I slide out of bed slowly.

“Is that your stomach grumbling?” I heard his sleepy voice.

“Yes,” I said chuckling. “How about I order us some Chinese?”

“Sounds good,” he said stretching and glancing over at me. “Then come back to bed.”

I put my boxers on. I realized I had left my bag outside by the door. I pulled my pants on. Valerie could be home. I stepped out of the bedroom but the house was dark and silent. I went to the kitchen and found the yellow pages and called a Chinese restaurant nearby.

I grabbed my bag and walked back to the bedroom. I changed into some lounge pants and got back into bed. Elio was sleeping again. I watched him. I suddenly remembered that morning before I left Italy. Watching him sleep. While he was sleeping he looked just like that seventeen year old I’d met, hair longer, muscles more defined, yes, but still, he seemed so much the same.

My heart started pounding. I thought of earlier, how I couldn’t wait to get here. I wanted to be with him now. Everyday. I couldn’t waste any more days. I had to tell Karen. I had to. I had to. I had to. I felt my palms start to sweat. I had to speak. 

 _DING DONG._ The food. I got up and went to the front door. I got the food and paid the delivery person and took the food to the kitchen.

I grabbed a couple of plates. I’d take some food to Elio in bed. I got our plates ready. I knew he liked to use chopsticks when he ate Chinese. I looked in the bag. They didn’t send us chopsticks. Damn. I’m sure he had some. I looked at the drawer to the right, with the utensils. Nope. I opened the drawer beside it to the right. Nope. Opened the last one. I saw two notepads. My stomach flipped. My heart started beating fast.

I remembered I had asked Elio if I could read them. He didn’t say yes or no he just said there was some deep stuff in them. It sounded like a warming. I took a deep breath. I remember Valerie telling me about how she felt when she had read some of the things he wrote. I opened the top one and flipped through it quickly. It was filled with his writing and doodles. I randomly opened a page and read: 

“I had another dream of you last night. It’s always the same: you come to me, tell me sorry, we fuck. Even in my dreams I don’t say no to you. I wish I could hate you sometimes though. It would make all this easier. It would be so much less painful.”

I feel my stomach drop. I flipped a few pages more.

“... and you know maybe if you had just told me that you had a girlfriend of three years back then, maybe if from the beginning I knew you were someone else’s then I wouldn’t feel as fucking hollow as I do now, six mother fucking years later. I gave you my whole fucking heart. What else could I offer you at 17 Oliver????? You took half of it with you!!! Don’t you feel it? Don’t you feel ME! Cause I feel you. All the time.”

There was a very decent drawing of DaVinci’s anatomy drawing in red ink. There was black circle on the chest where the heart would have been with the word “hollow” written beside it.

“What happens to your soul when you don’t own or have your whole heart?” He had written underneath it.

I slammed the notepad closed and shut the drawer violently.

“Hey, it’s not the drawer’s fault.” I jumped. I looked towards the kitchen entrance. Elio was leaning his left shoulder against the entrance, arms crossed.  

I looked away. I didn’t even know what to say. “I’m sorry,” I said finally.

“For...?”

I didn’t look at him. “Looking at your notepads.” I replied. I grabbed the edge of the kitchen counter and leaned forward, suddenly feeling slightly nauseous.

“I did warn you,” he said quietly, making his way into the kitchen. I finally looked at him. He had his back to me as he inspected the food and plates I had made. He didn’t have any shoes or a shirt on, just his shorts, like when he had greeted me when I came home. He turned his face and looked at me over his shoulder. He looked me in the face with his beautiful eyes.

“I know,” I said softly. I watched as he pulled the drawer in front of him open and took some chopsticks out. Of course, the only drawer I hadn’t opened. He picked up a plate and walked to the dining table. He sat down and started eating. I turned around, leaned back on the kitchen counter and watch him eat. “Can you bring me some water, please?” He asked politely.

I walked to the fridge andgot a couple of bottles. I placed them in front of him. I grabbed a third and my plate of food and went and sat down beside him.

I pushed my food around with my fork. I wonder if I should say something about what I read.

“Eat,” He said. I nodded and started eating. “You can read them,” he said. I looked at his face. “You can read them all beginning to end. But if you do,” he looked up at me and held my gaze. “Don’t come to me with apologies or to explain or to talk about it. I don’t care to relive the pain that I felt when writing them.”

“Ok,” I said.

“They were my release. I had to cope how I could. I’m not going to analyze it all, I just poured out what I felt. There is and was no rhyme or reason, no right or wrong to what I wrote and I told you I had many moments of despair and they ended up there, in those pages,” he let out a breath and took another bite of food. “Plus,” he continued, “at this point apologies are...” He shrugged his shoulders and trailed off, shaking his head, as if he were at a loss for words.

“Useless?” I asked.

“No,” he said looking at me. “No, just... nothing we can say now changes what happened. So why rehash it.” He reached for my hand. “I’m interested in the future.”

“Yes, of course,” I said softly. I started to eat. I was really hungry. “Where’s Valerie?” I asked, in a way trying to change the subject.

“She was going to look at apartments.” He said.

“Really?” I asked surprised.

“Yeah. She doubts she’ll find something for December. But she’s looking to move beginning of January.”

“Ok,” I said and looked up at him as I chewed my food.

He leaned back in his chair. He ran his left hand through this hair, pushing it back. It falls back perfectly around his perfect face. I stared at him a while, transfixed really, by him. “What?” He asked, the left corner of his mouthstarting to turn up.

“Just taking you in,” I said softly.

He chuckled. He picked up one of the water bottles I brought for him and opened it. He drank half of it all at once. He put it down and pushed his plate aside. He pulled his chair and sat right beside me. He took my hands in his and looked into my eyes. “If what you read bothered that much maybe you shouldn’t read anymore,” he said softly. He leaned in and kissed me. “But you seem to enjoy torturing yourself so I’m sure you’ll want to read them,” he whispered.

“How do you know?” I asked. I loved him being this close.

“Because I know you.”

I looked at him. He leaned over and softly kissed me again. I let out a deep breath. I felt so much better. “Kissing you always puts me at ease,” I whispered to him.

“Yes, baby, I know,” he said. He ran his hand up arm, to my neck. I felt his thumb rub my jaw. “I also know that my touch puts you at ease,” he whispered.

“Your whole body puts me at ease,” I said looking up at him. I leaned forward and lay my forehead on his.

“You’ve hardly eaten,” he whispered to me. I opened my mouth to protest when he said, “don’t tell me you’re not hungry, I know you are, I heard your stomach grumbling. Please, my love, eat.”

I pulled back and look into his eyes. I nodded. He picked up his water bottle and finished it. He stood up. I looked up at him. He leaned down and kissed my lips. “I’ll be right back,” he said softly. “Please, make sure you eat.” He walked over to the counter and I saw him take the two notepads from the drawer. He walked out of the kitchen. I heard him walking around for a while.

I finished eating and pick up our plates. He walked back in the kitchen as I was washing them. He put the food away and wiped the table and counters clean.

 

“Come on,” he said holding his right hand out. I took it. He turned off the lights as we made our way to his bedroom. He had the curtains on the sliding doors drawn. He only had the light of one tall lamp on, to the right of the bed. The overhead light was off. We walked towards the bed. He has gathered up all his notepads. I looked at him. “Might as well do it together,” he said.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck. I feel his lips on my chest as he pushes my pants and boxers down. They fell to the floor and I kick them off. He stepped back and took his shorts off too. “There’s no real reason for us to be naked except that I just love to be naked in bed with you,” he said with a wink.

I laughed. “Ditto,” I said. He climbed on the bed and I follow him. 

“They’re numbered,” he said, pointing out the small numbers on the corners. I looked at them all. Indeed they were. I hadn’t noticed the small numbers on the bottom right hand corner until he had pointed it out.I picked up number 1. My heart it pounding. I opened it up to the first page.

“So you left me... again. I know, your sons. I know. It doesn’t make it any easier.”

I blinked a couple of times. I look further down. There was a drawing of an atomically correct heart, again in the red ink and in a black ink what looked like a snake or worm weaving in and out of it. He’s good at drawing. Really good. I never knew. I look at him. “You draw really well,” I said.

“Thank you,” He said. I couldn’t read his expression.

I skimmed the next few pages. Something catches my eye. “It’s been a couple of weeks and you haven’t called me. If I could numb it, I would but papa once told me to feel the pain. So I’m gonna just ride this fucking pain out.”

I closed it. I grabbed another random one. I didn’t look up at him. I couldn’t. I flip through this one. I stopped and read. “This morning I was watching the sun rise and wondered what you were doing. Were you jogging and looking at the sunrise too? I look for anything to connect me to you.” I swallowed.

I grabbed another. “There is no way you could be feeling the pain I’m feeling. There is no way. If you were, you would fucking leave her and be with me. Did you love me like I loved you?” There was more to that, but I shut it. I couldn’t read the rest, I couldn’t stomach it.

I picked up another. “I thought of you and got so turned on I masturbated and came and then I felt so pathetic about how the memory of what we did brings me more pleasure than the person in bed with me. I felt so pathetic I wanted to cry. BUT I swore to myself I wouldn’t cry myself to sleep ever again. I did enough of that in Italy so today I just cried in the shower before I came to bed.” Fuck. I felt the hot sting of tears.

I picked up another. I think this was going to be the last one I could read. “Do you remember the first time you fucked me? ‘Made love to me’ as you said. I do. To this day you’re the only man that has ever been inside of me. Even if you never come back to me, it’s the way it’ll always be. Am I the only man that’s ever been inside you?”

I suddenly look at him. He was leaning back on the headboard, left knee up. He has his left forearm on his knee, lounging back looking at me. He was trying to read my face. Finally, something I could give him. “You’re the only man that’s ever been inside me, Elio,” I tell him, my voice barely louder than a whisper.

He sat up. “I am?” He looks surprised.

“You are. 

“So even your first time, you’ve always been on top?”

I nod. “Except with you,” I said.

“Why didn’t you tell me back then?” He asked me. “It would have meant so much,” he said. He shook his head. “It _means_ so much now, but it would have done so much for me if I had known.”

I look at all the notepads. I couldn’t anymore. I wasn’t strong enough to stomach the pain of what I put him through. Plus, what was this for anyway? What was I doing? I gathered them all up. They’re quite heavy all together, but I manage to take them all up in my arms. I walked over and stacked them by his night table.

“In Italy I never told you because I wasn’t ready to tell you,” I said.

“Why not?”

“Because the love I have for you was deeper and stronger than what I was mentally and emotionally prepared for,” I said. “I’m ready now. I have nothing to hide now. I’m not worried how I’ll be perceive for loving you. I’m willing to give myself fully and bare my soul to you.” I was amazed even at what I was saying. It was the truth though.

I could tell he was surprised as well. His eyes slightly widened. “You weren’t ready back then?” 

“No.” I said. I knew this now. “In my conversations I had with Dr. Jackson, I realized, I was not ready for what you were giving me back then. I wanted it, but I wasn’t ready to receive it. I am now though. I am ready.”

“Dr. Jackson?”

“Oh, the marriage counselor. She’s amazing,” I said. “Elio, I’m ready,” I repeated.

He nodded and looked at me with a very tender expression on his face. “Good,” He whispered.

I got back on the bed. “You’re right by the way,” I said. “Reading those is an awful idea. I’m no longer curious. I’m only focused on giving _you_ my all every single day of my life.”

He nodded. “That’s all I want,” He said in a soft voice. He leaned towards me and I wrap my arms around him. I smiled and closed my eyes. Suddenly I feel as if it was seventeen year old Elio.

“I’m never letting you go,” I said to him. It’s what I should have said and done back then.

I hear him sigh and relax into me.


	22. Making Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for Oliver to speak...  
> Enjoy! <3

I had gotten up and called to say goodnight to my sons. I had told Karen I’d see her tomorrow. 

I could hear Elio on the piano when I hung up. I walked down the hallway and walked inside the sunroom. I walked in and sat beside him. I watch him play. He was completely nude. I loved how he did this, like he was putting in a private show just for me.He looked my way. I slid my hand between his legs and wrapped my fingers around him.

He jumped a little and laughed but didn’t stop playing. He started playing something else though. Something faster. He looked into my eyes. I suddenly knew that he wanted me to stroke him to the tempo of the song. I did as he wished. I stroke him quickly, to the fast tempo of the song. He leaned his head back and moaned, amazingly he kept playing the song. He was so mesmerizing. Once the short song was over I got up and got on my knees, I turned him around. I took him in my mouth and I heard the distorted sound of the piano as he leaned back onto it, moaning as he came. I waited a moment then release him. I kissed his thighs.

“What song was that?” I asked him.

“Chopin,” He said panting and looking down at me. He caressed my face. “Étude No. 2 in F minor.”

 

We made our way back to the bedroom and climbed in the bed. I pulled him close to me and wrapped my arms tightly around him. I kissed up and down his neck gently. I kissed across his shoulder. We’ve already turned the lights off. He fit so perfectly in my arms. He was made perfectly for me, I thought.

“I’m telling Karen about us when I go back home tomorrow,” I whispered to him. I had to. I loved him and I needed to be with him. Also, I had to grow up.

I feel him run his hand up and down my left arm. “Ok,” I hear him say softly. “Are you worried?”

“I was,” I said softly as I kissed him more.

“How come you’re not now?”

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” I whispered to him.

I felt Elio turn around and face me. He pulled me close to him and started kissing my neck. It felt so wonderful. I returned his kisses. I felt his body shake in my arms as he laughs softly.

“Mmmm it’s so cute how ticklish you are,” I said, making him laugh again. I don’t remember how long we laid in bed kissing. I just know eventually we fell sleep.

 

* * *

 

The next day I felt amazing. I suddenly understood what people mean when they say they are on cloud nine.

Work flew by. Elio had a concert that night. I drove by on my two hours between my lectures to spend some time with him. 

“Do you think you’ll have some time to call me tonight after you talk to Karen? I’ll be thinking about you.” He said to me as we sat on his couch. 

“I’m not sure, my love. I’m gonna play it by ear. I can drop by tomorrow during my one hour between lectures.”

“No, you should eat. It’s only an hour. Hey, I’ll assume all is good and I’ll see you and the boys on Friday. If shit hits the fan call me and come to me, I don’t care what time. Bring Ben and Michael if need be. Even if I’m not home from my concert you have a key. This is your home too now. We’re in this together.”

I pull him into my arms and kiss him. “Thank you,” I whisper to him. 

“You’re welcome,” he kissed me. He got up from the couch and held out his hand. I grabbed it. We started walking towards the kitchen. “You need to eat before you go back to work, baby,” he said to me.

I nodded and squeezed his hand.

 

* * *

 

I went and picked up Ben at Karen’s cousin’s home and then Michael at school. Once home I changed into something more comfortable. I went into the kitchen and started cooking. I figured I’d make lasagna. Karen loves lasagna. I hardly ever cook at home but now that Karen was working I had more freedom. Soon enough though, I’ll be living with Elio and I’ll cook anything I want any time I want.

The thought made me smile. My heart was beating a bit fast. I thought about what I was planning. I had to tell Karen. I was sick of hiding and I owed it to Elio. Plus, he wasn’t going anywhere, my sons were bonding with him. She, also, needed to know. I wanted to live with Elio now. I had to talk to her about how we would handle the custody issue with the boys. 

The lasagna was already in the oven when she came home.

“Oh, smells so good!” She said.

I was on the couch with some books, reading to Ben when she walked in. She went upstairs and changed. The lasagna was done soon after and we all sat down and ate.

There was pleasant chit chat and then the boys were done eating. I played with them for a while and then put them to bed. I went back downstairs. She was cleaning up the kitchen. It was just her and I. This was it.

“Karen,” I said softly. She turned to face me. “I, um.. we need to talk.”

“Ok,” she said, looking at my face. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I am,” I said. “Come on, let’s sit down,” I said, motioning to the table. Once we were seated, I looked at her and took a deep breath. “I think it’s time for me to move out.”

“Oh,” she said. “Ok. I thought you were going to wait till the house sold. But I mean, I understand. It was going to happen one day anyway.”

“Yes,” I said.

“So, where are you planning to go?” The way she asked me made me feel she already knew.

I took a deep breath. “I’m seeing someone,” I said.

“I figured,” she said, looking down at the table. “I figured you saw her at the wedding,” she looked up at me. “What’s her name?”

This was it. “ _His_ name is Elio,” I said slowly.

It took her a couple of seconds for what I said to sink in. “His name is Elio?” She asked.

“Yes.”

“It’s your _FRIEND_? You’re seeing a _MAN_?” Her eyes widened. “Oliver! What?” She put her hands to her chest. I stayed as calm as I could. She was looking at me, she was looking slightly panicked.

“Yes,” I said.

“You’ve taken my sons to his house!”

“Yes and I’m going to be living with him so our sons being in his home would happen eventually,” I said very calmly.

“You’re gay? Oh my god! How many men have you cheated on me with!” She said sounding panicked still.

“I only have feelings for Elio. I don’t go cruising for men, Karen!” I said, slightly angry.

“Feelings? Are you in love with him?” She asked me.

My heart rate accelerated. I looked at her. By the look in her eyes she knew what the answer to that question was.

“Oh my god! I can’t believe you’re in love with a man!” She put her face in her hands and started crying. “Why? How could you? Why did you lie to me?”

I took a deep breath. I let her cry a moment. Anything I said now would be horrible. She finally calmed and looked at me. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I know this must be hard for -“

“Shut up! You have no fucking idea what this is!” She glared at me. “Why marry me then?”

“Karen, the marriage was a mistake made by _both_ of us! You didn’t love me either!” This seemed to make her stop a bit and calm down slightly. She knew this was true. She just glared at me and said nothing. “The marriage is over now anyway. We’re moving on,” I said. “We can finally be free to be with someone we want.”

She looked away. She stayed quite for a long time. It may have been barely minutes but to me it felt like eternity. She seemed to have calmed a bit more. She suddenly looked at me again. “But, when we first met, were you even sexually attracted to me?”

“Yes, Karen, I was,” I said.

She nodded. “When did you know you also liked men?” She asked softly.

“Since I was a teenager,” I said.

She nodded again. She was deep in thought for a moment. “Was it true when you said he’s a pianist?”

“Yes, he’s a pianist with the LA Orchestra.”

She nodded. She took a deep breath. “He sounded young in the phone. How old is he?”

“He’ll be 25 in December,” I said.

She gave me dirty look and shook her head. “That’s you men, always looking for a younger piece of ass,” she said angrily.

I let that slide. I knew she was upset. At least the comment wasn’t based off Elio’s gender but rather his age.

“So when are you leaving?”

“I’ll talk it over with Elio on the weekend,” I said quietly.

“Do you two kiss in front of the boys?” She asked me. She was looking at the table, not my eyes so I couldn’t gauge her feelings on what she was asking me.

“Would it be bad if we did? It’s what people in relationships do.” I said.

“Yeah but if they see it -“

“Seeing two men kiss doesn’t make you _gay,_ Karen! I _never_ saw two men kiss growing up. In fact I probably heard every single homophobic slur that exists in the English language come out of my father’s mouth before I even knew what ‘gay’ meant and yet here I am!” I said. My voice came out angrier than I had meant it but I couldn’t help it.

She blinked a few times, still not meeting my gaze. “Ok,” she said.

“And say Michael or Ben were gay Karen. Say we were together and happy and one of our sons was gay, would you shun him?”

“No!” She said without thinking. She looked up at me. Her face relaxed a little. “No, Oliver. I don’t mind anyone that’s gay. Men or women. But this is different!” She said. I knew she was right. “You’re not just a co worker who happens to be with a man. You’re the man I married and have children with who now is with another man.” She cried silently. She bowed her hair and quietly sniffled and cried. “This is... a lot.” She said.

“I know,” I replied. Fuck what could I do? What could I do. If this was me, what would I do? I suddenly had a thought. I wonder how she would take it. It was worth a shot, I thought. “Karen, if you’d like, we could go talk to Dr. Jackson about this,” I said.

She looked up at me, surprised. “Dr. Jackson?”

“Yes,” I said. “She’s a marriage counselor and even if we’re divorcing, I think she could help.” I said. “I’m sure we wouldn’t be the first of last couple she’s seen in this predicament.”

She shook her head and let out a joyless laugh. “No couple should be in this predicament,” she said.

“You’re right,” I said to her. She looked into my eyes and I stared into hers. “You’re so right,” I said. I was so angry and not at her but I couldn’t hold my tongue. “I truly wish one day the stigma of same sex relationships disappears so that people can be with who they love and not marry someone out of social obligation.”

“Like you?” She asked narrowing her eyes. “Was marrying me your social obligation? So no one would know?”

I breathed out. “Our marriage gave me our sons. I’ll never regret that,” I said. 

She was quiet a moment. “I’m really tired,” she said.

“I’ll finish cleaning the kitchen,” I said. “Go rest.”

I got up and walked to the sink. There were a few dishes left. I heard the scrape of the chair as she got up. “I’ll need his address,” I heard her say. “If my children are going to be living there half of the year I need to know where.”

“Ok.” I said without turning to look at her. I heard her walk out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

 

As promised, I cleaned the kitchen. I wrote his address in the pad by the phone. Should I try to call Elio? No. No I’ll just drop by tomorrow. I wanted to see him. I never wanted to pass another day where I didn’t ever see him and touch him. I sighed. I went upstairs and laid in bed. Amazingly, I was sleep in no time.

 


	23. Arms Of Love

I know Elio hadn’t wanted me to use my hour between lectures to come see him on Thursday but I wanted to see him. I needed to see him. I don’t think I could go a whole day without laying eyes on him. 

I pulled into his driveway. I got out of the car and let myself in. Elio was on the couch reading. The moment he saw me a beautiful smile spread across his lips. I couldn’t help but smile back to him.

He got up and walked to me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. “How are you baby? How did it go?” He asked me.

“It went,” I said with a shrug of my shoulders. “At least now she knows.” I whispered.

I let out a long breath. I sat on the couch and he came and sat beside me. He held my hand and massaged it. It instantly relaxed me. It amazed me how he did that with such ease. I leaned forward and kissed him. I leaned back on the couch and pulled him on to me. “Are you alright?” He asked me, nuzzling my neck.

“Yes,” I said. “I’m alright because I’m with you.”

He took a deep breath in and out. “Did she say anything derogatory or hateful?”

“No, she was just angry and hurt. She also said I was a typical man by getting with a younger piece of ass.” I chuckled as I said that. I reached for his ass and grabbed it. He laughed. We looked at each other. “She cried and she said it was a lot and I knew it would be. I offered to go see Dr. Jackson with her,” I said.

“That would help,” he said. I nodded.  

“I also gave her your address. She told me if her sons were going to be here half of the time she needed to know where.”

“Of course,” Elio said. “That’s absolutely understandable and she’s free to drop by anytime.” He said. 

“Thank you,” I said to him. I let out a breath. Maybe this could be ok.

He kissed up the side of my face. I glanced up at him. “I don’t mean to change the subject but,” he looked me up and down and then looked into my eyes. “You look so hot when you’re in your work clothes,” he said to me. “You’re like the hot professor everyone pictures in their wet dreams.” He raised his right eyebrow as he said this.

“I’m only interested in being in your wet dreams,” I whispered to him.

He reached down with his right hand and caressed my thigh. He took a deep breath in and kissed me. “Ok, we need to be good, you’re needed at a lecture in,” he looked at his watch, “22 minutes.”

“I, for once, was being VERY good and then you brought up wet dreams,” I said shaking my head and grinning at him. I kissed him again. I stared into his eyes. “22 minutes. I can make it back in 12.” I said.

“21 now,” he said climbing on top of me. He undid my pants quickly. He got on his knees between my legs. We pushed my pants down and he quickly took me in his mouth.

It was intense. Very intense. He was relentless as he sucked me. It was almost borderline painful but also so, so hot. I came quite quickly. I leaned my head back on the couch. I pulled my pants back up. I felt his hands as he zipped them and fastened them for me. “17 minutes,” he said.

I looked up at him. He was standing up. He held his hand out and I took it. We walked to the front door together, my legs still felt a little shaky. I caressed his face. “See you tomorrow night,” I said softly.

“See you tomorrow night, baby,” he said to me. We kissed and I walked out the front door. I walked to my car and drove back to campus.

 

* * *

 

 When I got home from picking up the boys I found a message on the answering machine. 

“Hey. I’ll be home late. I’ll talk to you when I get home. Bye.”

Ok, I thought. The boys and I had just finished dinner when Karen came home.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hi,” she replied. I wasn’t sure if I should ask her where she had been but I didn’t have to. “I went to go see Dr. Jackson. I’d like you to come with me next time I go.”

“Yes,” I said. I had grown to trust Dr. Jacksonduring our past sessions so, of course, so I felt very ok going. Plus, I wanted to do all I could to make sure we had peace between Karen and I because it was paramount that she was ok with Elio and I being together.

We then talked about tomorrow afternoon. I wasn’t going to see her before the boys and I left. I told her to call the boys good night and to call me and let me know when she got to her meetings on Saturday. 

 

* * *

 

Friday flew by and by the time Michael, Ben and I made it to Elio’s it was almost 5 pm. Valerie was home and she greeted us and hugged my sons.I had passed by a grocery store. “I was going to cook dinner,” I said to her.

“Oh, I’m about to go. I’m gonna spend the weekend with my friend Kim,” she said with a smile.

I nodded. I felt she was obviously leaving to give Elio and I space. We chatted a few more minutes and then she left. I sighed. I looked around. I couldn’t believe that I was here. I wondered when I’d get used to this.

I made dinner and the boys and I ate. Afterwards Michael asked to watch Superman and I put it on for him. After it was over, I got them ready for bed. I sat with them and read them a couple of stories. I had brought some books from home. Michael went to sleep pretty quickly. I walked around with Ben for a while but it didn’t take long for him to fall sleep as well.

I went to the bedroom and changed into some lounge pants and a tee shirt. I wondered what time Elio usually came home. He had a large bookcase in the living room. I started looking through his books. He had an impressive collection, of course. This made me smile.

I picked up Wuthering Heights and settled into the couch. I looked at the clock, 8:27 pm.

 

It was 10:49 pm when I heard Elio’s car pull into the drive way. I sat up, I had been laying down on the couch. I put the book down on the coffee table. I jogged to the front door and opened it quickly.

He was still walking up the path when I opened the door. The smile on his face when we made eye contact was absolutely beautiful. I looked at him, long dark curls, beautiful pale skin and him in a suit all under the moonlight. He took my breath away. He walked in. “Honey, I’m home!” He said as he shut the door behind him.

I grinned. “Welcome home, handsome,” I said to him. I embraced him and kissed him.

“Mmmmm,” He said as we kissed. “I could get used to this.” He held my face in his hands. I wrapped my arms around his waist.

“How was your concert?”

“Great, thank you,” He said softly, kissing me again.

“Are you hungry, my love? I cooked dinner earlier.”

He looked at me and smiled. He nodded. “Yes, a little.”

“Come on,” I said. I took his hand and walked him into the kitchen. I started warming up what I had cooked for dinner. He went to sit at the dining table. He had taken his suit jacket off. I watched as he took off his tie. He was so handsome. 

Once the food was warmed up I served it and took the plate to him. “Would you like some water?” I asked him. 

“Actually, I’d prefer a glass of wine. It’s my after concert thing,” he said to me.

I got a couple of glasses and a bottle of wine he had in the fridge. I poured us wine. I watched him as he ate.

“Delicious as always, baby, thank you,” he said reaching for my hand. He looked at my face intently. “Tell me what’s wrong,” he said, reaching for my hand and massaging it.

I smiled. He knew me so well. My heart could burst. “Just trying to wrap my head around the situation with Karen,” I said. He nodded. “She went to go see Dr. Jackson and says she wants us to go see her together.”

“Does that make you nervous, baby?” He asked me. His hand moved from my hand to my cheek. “You said she was good to talk to. Maybe it will help.”

I leaned into his hand. He gave me a soft smiled as he caressed my face. I took a deep breath in and out. “Yes, actually I suggested it to her,” I looked into Elio’s beautiful eyes. “Not sure if nervous is the word,” I said. “Maybe just a little anxious.”

He nodded. “Of course,” he said still caressing my cheek. His touch was so soft and wonderful. I remember how he had made the statement before that his touch put me at ease. It did. I closed my eyes. 

After a while we cleaned up our dishes and made our way to the bedroom. He stopped and looked in on Ben and Michael. We then went to our bedroom.

 

I sat on the bed and watched him as he undressed. Once he had, he walked over to the bed. He laid his watch on the night table. “We will work everything out, Oliver,” he said to me softly.

“Yes,” I said as I ran my hands up chest as he climbed on the bed and straddled me.

He nodded. “Take your shirt off,” he said. I did as he asked. He slid my pants off.

He sat on my lap as he started to stroke me. I was almost hard by the time he slid my pants off, so it didn’t take long. I watched him as he got up and put lube in me. He straddled me again. He slowly slid his body on to me, this time facing me. He was breathtaking. I bent my knees and put my feet flat on the bed. I looked at his gorgeous body.

He moaned as he rolled his hips on me. I reached and started stroking him slowly. This was the first time we had been in this position. The thought of us doing so many new things thrilled me.

“It’s so amazing to come home and find you here,” he said, panting.

“It’s amazing being here,” I replied. It was my turn to moan as lifted himself up and slid back down on me. I kept stroking him. “I told Karen something else Wednesday night,” I said panting.

I squeezed him as I stroked his erection. He moaned. “What’s that?” He asked after a moment, panting. I pushed my hips up, wanting to be in him as deep as I could. I groaned as he rode me. I loved this. I loved him being on top of me like this.

My mind went blank. All I could focus on was him, his body and how good I felt. I watched his gorgeous, lithe body on top of mine. I looked him up and down. I stroked him at the rhythm that he was going. He wasn’t going too fast, yet it was so intense. He seemed to just be enjoying the feeling of me inside of him. This made me so hard.

He slowed down and stilled. “Are you gonna tell me?” He asked panting. His neck were flushed and chest glistened with sweat.

“Tell you what?” I asked.

He laughed. I groaned at the vibrations that made me feel. “You said you told Karen something else Wednesday night.”

“Oh,” I said, breathing hard. “I told her I was moving out,” I said.

His eyes widened a bit. “So you’re coming to live with me for good?” He asked. I nodded and grinned at him. “And you’ll be here every single night, like this, waiting for me when I get home?” He said.

“Yes,” I replied.

He leaned forward and kissed my lips. I slipped out of him. I groaned in protest. He laughed and kissed me more. “I want you to have me anyway you want,” he whispered.

He didn’t have to tell me twice. I got up and threw him over onto his back. I slid off the bed and grabbed his legs and pulled him to me, his hips hanging slightly off the edge. I could tell by the look on his face he wasn’t expecting that. I loved it. I slid into him and started thrusting in him hard. He closed his eyes and moaned loudly. I pinned his legs to the side of my body with my arms and held his hips firmly.

“Fuck! Yes! Yes!” He said while he moaned. It only made me go faster and harder, hearing him and knowing that he liked it. I went as long as I could. This was amazing and I really wanted to enjoy it to the maximum. When I couldn’t hold it any longer, I came deep inside him. I leaned down and took him in my mouth. He groaned loudly as he came. I laid on him for a moment, us both panting.

We crawled into bed. My heart was still beating fast. “When are you moving in?” He asked me.

“When do you want me to move in?” I asked him.

“Tonight, Oliver. Don’t ever, ever leave.” He pulled me close to him. 

“Ok. I won’t. I never I will,” I said. 

“I’m so happy,” he whispered.

“Me too,” I said, caressing his face.

“I’m gonna eat so good,” he said.

I laughed. “I’ll cook you anything you want, my love.” I kissed his lips.

He nuzzled my neck and I held him close. I heard him sigh. “O that ‘twere possible, after long grief and pain, to find the arms of my true love round me once again.”

“Tennyson?” I asked.

“Yes,” Elio said. I felt his lips on my neck. His hands rubbed my chest as I wrapped my arms around him and held him. I was complete.

We drifted off to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> Hugs <3


	24. Unexpected Visit

I woke up Saturday morning. I blinked my eyes a couple of times. I looked over and saw Oliver was still sleeping soundly. I took a deep breath in and out and watched him sleeping. 

This last week had been a whirlwind. It had only been a week since the wedding and since we had reconnected and now we were about to start living together. I’m sure just about anyone would think this was too fast but, it wasn’t. Not for us. All roads in our lives had led to here and now and I couldn’t have been happier.

I was lost in thought watching Oliver’s perfect face when I thought I heard what sounded like babbling. I got off the bed and quickly walked to my dresser. I pulled on boxers, jogging pants and a tee shirt. I exited my room and walked to the bedroom where the boys were. Michael was still sleeping but Ben was sitting up. He smiled when he saw me and stretched out his arms to me. It warmed my heart. He was such a wonderful little boy.

“Hey Benny Ben,” I whispered. I picked him up and held him, patting his back. I changed him afterwards. “So are you hungry? I got Cheerios. Do you like Cheerios?”

“Cheerios?” Ben said.

“Yeah,” I said chuckling. “You wanna go get some?”

“Cheerios!” Ben said.

I laughed. I held him and walked out into the hallway walking towards the kitchen. I had just walked in the kitchen when my doorbell rang. I turned around. Weird. Maybe Valerie forgot her keys?

I walked out of the kitchen and opened my door. It wasn’t Valerie. I looked at the woman standing in front of me. Brown hair, falling in waves around the pretty face. Her eyes were the exact same color as mine. I had never seen her in my life but I knew who she was. She had a white blouse on with dark blue jeans and a tan jacket.

“Elio.” She said. I nodded. She wasn’t asking.

“Karen.” I said. I stepped aside. “Come on in,” I said. She stepped inside. I looked at Ben and smiled. “I was about to get him some Cheerios,” I told her. She shut the door behind her.

“He loves Cheerios,” she said. She put her arms out and I passed Ben to her.

“Did you want something to drink? Eat?” I asked as I motioned for her to follow me to the kitchen. 

“No, thank you,” she replied.

I found the Cheerios and poured some into a bowl. I turned around. Ben saw. “Cheerios!” He said. 

I smiled at him. He stretched his arms out to me. I saw the surprise on Karen’s face. “May I?” I asked her.

“Yes,” she said. I took Ben and walked to the dining room table. I sat down with Ben on my lap, I set the bowl in front of him. He started eating. “Please, sit down,” I said to Karen, motioning to the chair in front of me. She sat down.

Karen and I looked at one another. “Oliver is sleeping.” She said. Again, not a question.

“Yes,” I said.

“He usually sleeps in on Saturdays. It’s the only day he does,” she said. 

“Ok,” I said. “I didn’t know that.”

She looked down at the dining room table. I looked at her face. She was beautiful. Very beautiful. I could see now, how much Michael looked like her, including her eyes. Oliver had said they reminded him of my eyes. I sighed. “I’m thinking you came to talk?” 

She looked up at me. “I wanted to meet you. I wanted to see what you looked like,” she said. “I needed to see who this man was that’s suddenly going to be spending a lot of time with my sons and if I wait for Oliver to introduce you to me we’ll be meeting at either Ben’s or Michael’s wedding,” she said shaking her head.

“Sometimes Oliver does need a little nudge in the right direction,” I said, trying to keep from smiling.

She shook her head. “I was never able to do it, so I hope you have better luck than me!” She said. “But, like I said, I wanted to meet you.”

I nodded. I held my hand out. “I’m Elio, nice to meet you,” I said. I wasn’t trying to be a smart ass or anything, I thought introductions was the way to start.

She shook my hand. “I’m Karen, nice to meet you too,” she said. She let out a breath and actually seemed a bit more at ease. I smiled at her. She smiled back. “It’s a very pretty home,” she said.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Do you own it?”

“No, renting for now. It made sense here, many of my colleagues live nearby.”

“So, Oliver says you’re a pianist?”

“I am,” I said. “I play for the LA orchestra. I also compose,” I said. 

“Oh, for fun or ...?”

I laughed softly. “Well, if should be fun. It is. I have an album coming out in two weeks.”

“Oh, congratulations!” She said.

“Thank you,” I said. “What do you do for a living?” I realized Oliver had never once said.

“I’m an elementary school teacher. I’m currently teaching second grade,” she said.

“Oh! Are you at Michael’s school?” I asked.

“No, I’m in the next town over, his school didn’t have any openings,” she said. 

We looked at each other. I took a deep breath. I wanted to do the right thing. “Thank you for coming,” I said to her with a smile. “I truly appreciate it and I’m glad we’ve met. My home is always open to you. You are always welcomed.”

She looked surprised. “Thank you, that’s very nice of you to say.” She said.

“It’s the truth.”

She took a deep breath. “How and when did you and Oliver meet?”

I saw Ben had finished eating and I thought I’d get him juice. I got up, grabbed the empty bowl and put it in the sink. I got a juice box from the fridge. I opened it up and stuck the straw in. I went back to the dining room table. I was slightly panicked. What would she say when she found out Oliver and I met years ago? 

“Oliver and I met in the summer of ‘83,” I said looking into her eyes. “My father hosted him for the summer.”

Her eyes widened. Her face turned slightly red. “Perlman?” She asked.

I nodded. “Yes I’m Elio Perlman.”

“So he’s been in love with you since then,” she said shaking her head. “Wow!” I stayed quiet. “So how often did you two meet between ‘83 and now?” She asked. I could hear the anger in her voice. 

“After he left in ‘83 I had no contact with him until I got a phone call on the last day of Hanukkah and he told me he was getting married next spring.” I said. “That was the only time I spoke to him since he had left. Then I didn’t see or talk to him until December of ‘88.” I said. 

She stayed quiet. “You two didn’t talk all those years?”

“No,” I said.

“Did you come looking for him in ‘88?”

“No,” I said. “I was asked to be a guest pianist with the Orchestra.” I told her. “He happen to go to the first concert.” I said. 

“Oh, that’s why he went to go see all five concerts,” she said. I stayed still. “Ok,” she said. “How did you get invited to the orchestra?”

“The conductor knew a music professor of mine that I had in Rome and I was introduced. I played for him and he asked me to be a guest.”

“So you’re that good?” She asked. I looked at her. I wasn’t sure if she was being sarcastic or not.

“Apparently I am since I was then offered the position permanently,” I said. I didn’t like to brag but I figured I wasn’t in the position I was if I didn’t know what I was doing.

She nodded. “And before that you two never spoke or met since that summer you met?”

“No,” I said.

Her brow furrowed. “Why not?”

I lifted my brows. “Ah, well, Oliver left Italy and came back here and married you. I just tried to move on,” I said.

“Weren’t you mad? How could you not hate him?” She asked me. I stayed silent. She shook her head. I saw she wiped some tears from her eyes. I got up and got a box of tissues and put them on the table. “Thanks,” she said.

I nodded. I waited a moment. “I was hurt and mad yes but I dated other people and tried to move on with my life,” I said.

“All done,” Ben said.

“Ok,” I said smiling. He climbed down my lap. A couple of his trains were on the floor. He walked over, sat down and started playing with them.

“Are those trains new?” She asked.

“Yes, we got them Monday. I took him to Toys R Us,” I said.

She nodded and watched Ben lovingly.

“Are you in love with Oliver?”

“I am, yes,” I said. She held my gaze for a moment. 

“You have to be if you waited and don’t hate him. I don’t know if I could have given him a second chance.”

I sighed. “I’ve dated others since, but things just came together at the right time, with him and I,” I said.

She looked at me. “When did you find out we were getting divorced?” She asked me.

“At Stacey’s wedding,” I said. 

“I’m surprised he didn’t tell you sooner,” she said looking at me as if she didn’t believe me. “You saw him in the summer when your parents came, why didn’t he tell you then?”

“Well, I was actually in a relationship until the end of October, so my girlfriend at the time was at the dinner with my parents and him.”

“Girlfriend?” She asked.

“Yes,” I said. “Is that a problem?”

She seemed taken aback. Her eyes narrowed. “You should tell her you sleep with men.”

“I have. She knows,” I said. “The long term girlfriend I had in Italy also knew I was bisexual,” I said. I didn’t have to explain this to her, but I felt it would help if she knew. 

“So you just tell them?”

“Well it’s common to talk about exes in a relationship. When my partners would ask me about first love or if I had ever been in love I’d tell them about Oliver,” I said. “It wasn’t a secret.”

“It is with Oliver,” she said sounding annoyed.

“Well, my parents didn’t care about my sexuality. My parents actually knew he and I were romantic and they made sure we had some days together alone before he came back,” I said. Her eyes widened. “If my parents had been like his I’m sure I’d have issues being open with my sexuality too”

She seemed to think about what I said. She sighed. “So you saw each other at the wedding?”

“Yes,” I said. “He and I hadn’t talked in over a year. We ran into each other at the wedding,” I told her.

“And you both were suddenly single,” she said.

I nodded. “Like I said it all came together at the right time.”

She sighed and crossed her legs. She watched Ben play. “Momma, look the train.” Ben said walking to her. 

“It’s such a nice train, baby,” she said smiling. She scooped him up in her arms.

“Daddy you like train?”

“It’s an awesome train, Ben,” I said.

Karen looked shocked. We looked at each other silently. “Why does he call you daddy? Did you or Oliver tell him to?”

“No. He just did,” I said. “I was as shocked as you were when you first heard him.” I looked at her. “I actually thought he was just repeating what Michael said. He said juice daddy and all done daddy right after Michael had said the same, so to me, I thought he was just repeating,” I said. “It just stuck. But I don’t mind.”

She shook her head. “Wow.” She said.

“I’m sorry it upsets you.” I said. 

“It doesn’t matter if it upsets me though, does it? Because if I say something now, since you and Oliver are playing house together, then I’m the bad guy,” she said. She grabbed another tissue. We stayed silent a moment. I didn’t say anything. She finally looked up at me. She didn’t look angry. “If you, um...” she started. I saw she shook her head. 

“If I..?” I asked.

“If you stay with Oliver you’ll never have your own children. Are you ok with that?” Her face didn’t show any animosity.

I shrugged. “That’s a loaded question,” I said.

“Yes and a private one, actually, I apologize. I shouldn’t have asked,” she said glancing at me. I knew she was checking to see if I was upset. I wasn’t. But she was right. It big question and I had never asked myself.

“Did you wanna go see Michael? He’s probably still sleep, but did you just wanna go see him?”

She looked at me a moment. “Yes,” she said with a small smile.

We got up and she picked up Ben. I led the way and took her to the room we had the boys sleeping. She saw the wooden track on the floor. Michael was laying on his side sleeping. She walked over and knelt down beside the bed. She caressed his hair and watched him a moment. She then stood up and we walked out of the bedroom. I pulled the door close, leaving it slightly ajar.

“Karen?”

We both looked. Oliver was standing at my bedroom door, hair tussled. He had some pajama bottoms on, no shirt, looking gorgeous. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw him.

“Hey,” she said with a flat tone. She turned to me. “Thank you,” she said warmly. I nodded. She started walking to the front door. I glanced at Oliver who was still looking shocked.I followed behind her. Once we reached the door she looked at Ben. “Be good ok, baby?” She gave him a kiss on the head.

I took Ben in my arms. She opened the front door and stepped out. “Bye, she said.

“Bye,” I said. She was about to turn to walk away when I said, “I meant what I said. My door is always open for you.”

She gave me a smile and nodded her head. “Thank you, Elio. Take care.”

“You too, take care,” I said.

“Please, take care good of my babies while they’re here with you and Oliver,” she said. 

“I will, as if they were my own,” I said to her. She nodded. She knew I was telling the truth. I watched as she walked away.

I closed the door.

“What was that?” I heard Oliver ask.

“She dropped by,” I said. “She said she wanted to meet me.”

“How was she?”

“Ok,” I said. “I mean there were tense moments and that’s to be expected, but I didn’t feel she was hateful.She wasn’t rude. Ben called me daddy in front of her,” I said. “It was tense. I think she just needed to meet me.”

He nodded and came and wrapped his arms around Ben and I. “Ok,” he said softly.

I looked up at him. “You ok? What’s wrong?”

“I’m ok,” he said to me. “Just wanted to make sure she didn’t start any trouble.”

“Trouble? As in trouble between you and I?” He nodded and held me again. “There is no way that could happen,” I said, kissing him.

“You’re right,” he said softly. He caressed my face. “Come on,” he said. “Let me cook you breakfast.”

I beamed at him, nodded and followed him to the kitchen.


	25. How Do You Always Know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy my lovelies <3

The rest of the weekend was wonderful. When Sunday afternoon came, Oliver decided he would drop the boys off and pack some things for himself to bring back. He wasn’t sure what time Karen would be home so he wasn’t sure what time he would be coming back himself. We knew there was still quite a bit to figure out but we would get there. I was willing to do anything to make sure he, his sons and also Karen was ok. I didn’t want any animosity between us. I was also concerned about Valerie. She had been looking a bit worn out lately. I had told her she could wait till January to start looking for a place but she didn’t really want to hear any of it. So I said nothing else. 

 

“Ok. Maybe we should get a second dresser for their room,” I said to Oliver. “This house seemed so big when I decided to move here. Now it’s so small. They can’t share a room forever.”

Oliver chuckled. “It’s ok,” he said. “But yeah, them having clothes here in our place may be a good idea,” he said.

My heart felt warm when he said ‘our place’.

“This Thursday is Thanksgiving,” he said. I nodded. “Yeah I have the whole weekend off. I have a concert Wednesday, then off until Tuesday. Then the Friday after that, Dec 7,is my album release party,” I said.

“Where is the party going to be?”

“At a lounge in Hollywood. Then the Tuesday after the party I have a signing thing at the Tower Records store in West Hollywood,” I told him.

“Really? For your album.”

“For both my albums.”

He furrowed his brow. “You told me you had _one_ coming out.”

“Yeah, I do. The other album is a live recording of one of the Bach highlight concerts I did last holiday season. So technically, not mine but the orchestra featuring my talent,” I said chuckling.

Oliver smiled at me. “That’s amazing baby,” he whispered to me as he kissed me.

A while later we were putting the boys in their car seats and he took off. I hope he wouldn’t be back too late.

  

I was in the kitchen when I heard the front door open. I walked over and looked out and saw Valerie.

“Hey!” I said. I took a look at her. “What’s wrong?” I knew she been overdoing it. She looked so tired.

“I just have to worst headache. It came out of nowhere yesterday and I still have it today,” she said. 

“Oh I’m sorry. Maybe you’re hungry, come on.”

Oliver had made a delicious dinner. I served her a plate. I looked at her as she was sitting. Her eyes were closed. I brought her a plate and bottle of water. “Thanks,” she said in a small voice. “I’m so so tired. This apartment hunting is taking its toll I think.”

I nodded. “Well, I told you, you could wait,” I said.

She rolled her eyes at me. “No, you and Oliver need your space,” she said.

“Eat,” I told her. I watched, waiting for her reaction because Oliver was an amazing cook.

She started eating. “Oh my god, this is so good!” She said, eyes widening.

I nodded at her. At that moment the front door opened. I stood up and quickly walked to the door. I kissed Oliver. “Welcome home baby,” I said to him.

“It’s good to be home,” he said. I looked at him a moment. I felt something was on his mind. I’d deal with it later, when it was just he and I.

I grabbed his hand and we went back to the kitchen. “Oliver, Valerie loved your cooking,” I said as I sat down. Oliver sat beside me.

“Well, thank you,” He said.

“It seriously was delicious!” She said as she finished everything on her plate. She walked to the sink to rinse it off and then sat back down with us. We talked for a good while. I knew Oliver would like her once he got to know her. They were both very smart. It was interesting hearing them discussing philosophy and law. I enjoyed just sitting there and hearing them talk.

“Do you feel better?” I asked her.

“What’s wrong?” Oliver asked.

She shrugged and shook her head. “Just tired and had a horrible migraine, which is weird because I never get migraines. Hopefully it’ll be gone tomorrow.”

We talked for a moment more and then said good night.

 

We finally made our way to our room. I watched as Oliver pulled off his shirt and sat at the edge of the bed. I could tell there was something on his mind. I could tell it by the look in his eyes, there was a tension there that usually wasn’t there.

I took my shirt off as well and walked towards him. I spread his knees and stepped right up to him, his chest up against my stomach, so we would have skin to skin contact. I took my hands and placed them on either side of his neck. I massages him gently with my thumbs. I knew it was hard for Oliver to share what was troubling him. I loved him and always wanted to be there for him. I wanted to establish open communication between us. This was something I was trying hard to do. It was going to take some work though, but I was willing to do all it took. 

“Mmmmmm,” He said as he closed his eyes. I pressed my thumbs with gentle pressure against his neck and up to his jaw. “What’s on your mind, baby?” I asked him gently.

He opened his eyes and looked at me. I loved the way he was looking at me. “How do you always know?” He asked me in a soft whisper.

“Because I love you,” I said.

He closed his eyes and gave me a sexy half smile. I could feel him relaxing. After a while he said, “Karen wants us both to go for Thanksgiving,” he said.

“What’s so bad about that?” I asked him, massaging him still.

“Her parents will be there. They’re just as homophobic as mine. I didn’t want my first Thanksgiving with you to be spent pretending we’re not together.” He said furrowing his brow.

“Ah, I see,” I said.

“I don’t know. I want to spend it with my children and with you but not pretending you and I aren’t together.” He whispered. “I mean you and I could say ‘Fuck it’ and just go and be us but,” he sighed. “The holiday is about making memories with my sons. I don’t know how to do this.”

“Well, baby,” I leaned down and kissed his lips.“In Italy we don’t even have Thanksgiving. I actually just celebrated my first one last year,” I said. “So how about on the day of, you go ahead and go and spend that day with your sons. You grin and bear it with Karen’s parents. Then Friday we can have our own Thanksgiving dinner here and you bring the boys,” I said.

He opened his eyes. “Yeah, I like that idea.” He said looking at me. I leaned down and kissed him again. “What should I tell Karen?”

“I’ll call her, don’t worry.” It was the truth. I didn’t want him to worry. I only wanted him to focus on being with me in our bedroom right now. 

“Ok,” he said nodded. “Thank you.” He let out a sigh of relief. I held his face and kissed him. I took my time, pressing my lips to his. He opened his mouth and I slid my tongue in, tasting him and caressing his tongue with mine. “How do you do this?” He asked me. I pulled back and looked into his eyes. He looked slightly dazed. “How do you always know exactly what I need when I need it?”

I looked as Oliver closed his eyes and leaned into one of my hands. “You were made just for me,” I told him. His eyes fluttered open. He tried to focus on me. “And since you were made just for me I know exactly what you need and how to give it to you.”

I slid my hands down to his neck again. I could feel his pulse, if had quickened. His chest was rising and falling quicker as well as he breathed faster. “Mmmmmm,” He said. He tilted his face up to me and I knew he wanted to be kissed again. So I gave him what he wanted. I pressed my lips to his. I gently sucked his top lip. Another kiss and then I gently bit his bottom lip. He pulled me to him, pressing his chest to my abdomen. He felt so warm. He pushed himself right to edge of the bed. I felt him rub his erection on my thigh.

I looked down. He kissed my chest and pulled me even closer, holding me tight as he thrusted his hips on me a couple of times.

I tried to step back, I wanted to undress and undress him. 

“No, no,” he said as he pulled me back, closer to him. “Where are you going?” He asked me. I loved how deep his voice sounded. “Let me please you,” He said. I looked down at his blue eyes. They were dark. They got like this when he was turned on. “Let me please you, I’ll do anything you want,” he said in a deep, husky tone. My cock reacted to this. He felt it and looked up at me, gorgeous, mischievous grin spreading across his perfect features.

“Anything I want?” I asked him. 

“Anything you want,” he repeated. Him saying that did something to me. There was nothing more erotic than this beautiful, strong man submitting to me.

I was finally able to take a few steps back. I dropped my pants and boxers. “Come here baby,” I said to him. “Get on your knees and show me how much you want to please me. 

I watched Oliver as he got up. He dropped his pants and boxers as well. He stepped right up to me, I felt his erection graze my lower abdomen, leaving a glistening trail behind. I watched as he got down on his knees, he licked my abdomen clean, looking up at me. I held his gaze as he took me into his mouth. I groaned. He grabbed me from behind and pushed me further into his mouth, taking almost all of me in his warm, wet mouth. It was so good.

“Fuck. Yes baby, it’s so good. So, so good,” I said as I grabbed his hair with my left hand. I rubbed my thumb on his cheek as I held his face. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I watched as I slid in and out of his mouth. I grabbed his hair and thrusted my hips in. I had never been this forceful with his mouth before but I couldn’t help it. I actually couldn’t control myself. I finally calmed down I stopped thrusting and watched as she sucked me. I was so close. When it was time I pulled out and came all over his neck and chest. I watched as my release dripped all over his skin.

“Rub it in,” I told him. He did as he was told. I watched him then looked at his face. He saw how much this turned me on. “Now lick your fingers clean,” I instructed him. Watching him lick his fingers clean, this too, turned me on so much. I was beginning to get hard again. I went and grabbed the lube from the night table.

He was still on his knees, in front of the bed. I looked at him. He looked so beautiful. “Lean forward on your hands,” I said. He did as I said. I rubbed lube on myself. I was fully hard again. I knelt behind him and slid in. I went hard and fast. I knew I would last a while since I had just climaxed not so long ago.

I enjoyed every single second of it. I didn’t ease up, I didn’t slow down and I didn’t hold back. I was more selfish than I had ever been with him. I fucked him purely for my pleasure and solely to feed my insatiable hunger of him. He was mine and I told him so. “You’re mine. Just mine. All mine.” I repeated to him over and over.

“Yes. I am. All yours,” he would reply to me.

I finally came and it was amazing. It was more intense than the first orgasm, which surprised me. We fell over on the floor. 

“Fuck,” I said, laying on my back and putting my hands up into my hair. I left them there. I looked over at Oliver. I felt a deep burning inside of me. I got up quickly and got on top of Oliver again. I bit his chest. Hard. He gasped. I grabbed his skin between my teeth and sucked. I could taste myself on him. I bit his skin more until a bruise formed. I knelt up and looked at it. I kissed and bit down his body. He tried to pull away a bit, laughing. I laughed too but kept biting him. I got down down to his inner thigh and made another mark. I finally felt satisfied. I sat up, leaning against the bed, panting, and looked down at him.

“Don’t you look pleased,” Oliver said, sitting up and leaning back on his palms.

I looked at his face and smiled smugly.“I am very fucking pleased with myself,” I said, agreeing with him. I leaned over and kissed him.


	26. Allegretto

The following morning I woke up as Oliver was getting dressed for work. “Just one lecture today, right?” I asked him. 

“Yes, my love, just one and then I’ll be home with you all day.”

“Good,” I said.

 

I laid back down and fell sleep a bit more. I got up a couple of hours later. I was in the kitchen making coffee when I hear a door open. I looked out the kitchen and saw Valerie walking towards the kitchen. That surprised me. She had classes to day. She never missed them.

“Hey! What’s wrong? Are you still not feeling well?” I asked her.

She shook her head as she walked into the kitchen. “No I feel so damn tired!” She said.

“Want some coffee?”

“Yuck, no.”

“Did you just say ‘yuck’ to coffee?” I asked staring at her. “Are you some fucking body snatcher? Who are you and where is the real Val?”

She laughed. “I just don’t want any. It smells so strong. I just couldn’t get up this morning I was so tired. I’m gonna shower though and make it to my two afternoon lectures.”

“Ok, you want me to make you something to eat?” I asked her.

“Yeah, can you make me an omelet? Please? With cheese and green pepper and onions and can you put some avocado on the side?”

I stared at her. “Yes, would you like some freshly cut strawberries or anything?”

“No but I want pineapples. Please!”

“Ok!” I said. I got to making food for Valerie. I thankfully had fresh pineapple and we always kept avocados at home.

I served her as she walked into the kitchen. She looked a lot better. She had showered and dressed. Her long dark hair in two Dutch braids. She had a white crop top and jeans. She sat down and started eating. “Maybe it’s some weird 24 bug,” she said shrugging. “So good!” She said as she ate. I laughed.

“Hey, so Thanksgiving is Thursday,” I said.

“Yeah! Actually I bumped into the conductor last week. He asked me if we wanted to come over and I said I’d ask you.”

“He’s been on vacation, we have a fill in so I haven’t seen him. Did you wanna go to his place?”

“I thought you’d be spending it with Oliver,” she said furrowing her brow.

“Well, Karen did invited us both and I would have gone but her parents will be there and they don’t like boys who like boys,” I said.

Valerie rolled her eyes. “I can’t wait till that generation dies off and we can be more progressive,” she said shaking her head. “So, you won’t go?”

“No, but Oliver needs to go and be there with his children. So if you’re up to it, we can go to the conductor’s home. Then Friday we can have our own dinner here with Oliver and his sons. What do you say?”

She looked at me and smiled. “Friday, I have a date,” she said.

“Well, well, with who?” I asked leaning forward on the table.

“Kim’s cousin,” she said smiling. 

“I only met one of her cousins. The short one,” I said.

“No! Jesus no! She has another one. His name is Vince,” she said.

“How hot is he?” I asked.

She laughed. “He’s not Greek god Oliver hot, but he’s pretty hot. I’ll introduce you if things go beyond a few dates.” She said.

“Please do,” I said leaning back in my chair. “Greek god Oliver. Yeah,” I said scratching the back of my head. I couldn’t help but grin.

She nodded. “You guys look really wow together.” She told me.

I leaned in and squeezed her hand. “I am so thankful for you Val. Thank you for being so understanding.”

She squeezed my hand. “Hey, it’s what friends do.”

She finished up eating. I looked at the clock, 12:05. Val had her first lecture at 1 pm. Oliver would be home soon. She got up and started washing her plate. My mind started wondering to what I wanted to do when Oliver got home.

“Maybe I just needed the extra sleep,” Valerie said bringing me out of my day dream. I turned my head towards her and nodded. “Next week we have some exams and I’m kinda stressing. You know I want to be perfect,” she said. She turned to me and put her left hand on her hip. She bit the inside of her lip. 

“And you will be perfect. You know this. You got this. You’re one of the smartest people I know and I’ve met a lot of smart people,” I said. She smiled at me.

We heard the door open. I looked and saw Oliver step inside. I got up and walked to greet him. We kissed. He walked into the kitchen.

“Hey, want an omelet?” I asked him. 

“Yeah, thank you. I’d love one actually,” he said.

I kissed him again and went to start making one. Valerie sat down with him and they started talking about exams next week when the doorbell rang.

Oliver stood up, “I’ll get it,” he said.

Valerie looked down the hallway. “Oh, it’s the conductor!” She said standing up. I heard her greet him. He walked into the kitchen and saw me cooking.

“Elio! Hello darling!” He walked to me and kissed both my cheeks.

“Hey! You’ve been missed. How was Vienna?”

“Marvelous! As always!” He said. Valerie offered him wine and he declined but said he would take some coffee. She got it for him.

“Want an omelet?” I asked as I served Oliver his.

“No, darling, thank you, sit down I came to talk to you,” he said winking at me.

I sat. Judging by his wink, this was going to be a good talk.

“But first, I must ask, because I know you’re dating miss Valerie but I remember this hot professor being your lover a couple of years back,” he said.

“I never told you he was my lover,” I said cracking a huge smile.

“You didn’t have to! It was damn obvious and you came with bite marks on your neck to the concerts which I’m SURE were made by him!” I laughed. “So is this a ménage à trois?”

“Whoa!” Valerie said laughing. “I’d be the envy of all of LA if it was! But no, Elio and I are no longer romantic,” she said.

“Aw, I’m sorry, but you’re here. It’s amicable, no?”

“Yes,” I said. “Oliver is my partner now,” I said as I grabbed his hand. 

“Sadly I have to get to class,” Val said. She stood up and leaned in and hugged the professor. He kissed both her cheeks as well. She patted my arm and Oliver’s arm and left. 

“So will you come for Thanksgiving?” The conductor asked.

“Val and I will, but Oliver will be with his children,” I said. 

“Oh, but we will be celebrating until the wee hours. How about dropping by after? What do you say, Oliver?” He asked.

“Yes, that would be great,” he said flashing him his perfect smile.

“Look at that smile!” The conductor said, patting his hand. “Ok! Business time!” He said. 

I nodded excited to hear.

“I want to do another highlight series with you. This time Beethoven,” he said.

I nodded. “Ok. Why Beethoven?” I asked, because I knew him and I knew it was never a coincidence with him.

He chuckled. “Because Margaret Winters wants to play with you,” he said.

My eyes widened. “Does she?”

“Yes.” He said. “BUT, she said she will do three concerts with you here if you go to France and do three concerts with her there,” he smiled at me. “What do you say darling?”

“I say fuck yes!” I said. I couldn’t believe it. I looked at Oliver. He was as shocked as I was.

“Wonderful! She wants the concerts in France to be in April, we have to figure out when we would do ours. Call Lindsay. Let her know, maybe she can convince Margaret’s people to do an album! That would be incredible!”

“How can I ever thank you. Did you convince Margaret. I know you’re good friends.”

“I didn’t have to convince her much. She liked you from the beginning but wanted to see you establish yourself more. Now, with how well your Bach highlight concerts did, the release of your albums next week and the fact that the documentary soundtrack was so well received, she sees you are more established.”

“Thank you!” I said. We got up and I hugged him. I walked him to the door. He kissed me and then kissed Oliver and he left.

“Oliver! I can’t believe it!” I jumped up and he grabbed me and spun me around. “Do you think you could come?”

“Once we have your concert dates I will do everything I can to be there, Elio,” he said looking into my eyes. “I mean one has to be on the weekend at least so even if it means sacrificing sleep, I promise, my love I’ll be there,” he said.

I looked into his eyes. I grabbed him and kissed him. I stared taking off his clothes. “God you’re so amazing,” I said 

RIIIINNNNNGGGG

Oliver looked up. “Are you gonna -“

“No,” I said. “I need to fuck you, let the machine get it.”

We continued kissing. I heard my answering machine play and then the BEEP

“Oliver, Elio um it’s Karen.” We stopped andwalked to the kitchen. “If one of you is home -“

Oliver picked up. “Hey! I just got home. What’s up?” I watched as he nodded and listened. “Saturday? 9:30 am. I’ll be there.” He nodded and listened. “Oh, actually, he was going to talk to you about that, hold on,” he put his hand covering up the phone. “Thanksgiving,” he whispered. 

I nodded and grabbed the phone. “Hi, Karen, how are you? 

“Well, thank you, how are you?”

“Wonderful. Listen, I’m sorry but um, Thanksgiving I’m actually expected with the conductor of the orchestra at his place. We actually have business to discuss. I was planning to do something here at my house on Friday though and have Michael and Ben over for it. Would that be ok with you? I know it’s your weekend so we can drop them off after they eat or Saturday morning.”

“Actually, how about you keep the boys overnight. I just let Oliver now, I’ve made an appointment for he and I with Dr. Jackson Saturday morning. I can pick them up after.” 

“Yeah, that’s perfect. Sorry about not being able to come. Hopefully next year. These plans were made months ago,” I said.

“No worries. See you this weekend.”

“See you. Bye!” I said. I hung up and smiled at Oliver. “Ok, that’s been fixed. Where were we?”

He grabbed my face and started kissing me. “How about we fuck right here,” he said panting. “I can bend you over the kitchen counter,” he said to me as he kissed my neck.

“Mmmmmm,” I said. “Sounds good.”

“I’m gonna go get the lube,” he said. He turned and walked out of the kitchen and down the hallway. When he came out he was complete undressed and fully erect.

“Fuck yes,” I said as a huge grin spread across my face. I took my shirt off. I reached for his erection, rubbing it. He leaned his head back, moaning. “Do you know how much I love your -“

RRRIIINNNNNNNGGGGGG

“Seriously??” I exclaimed. I took a deep breath. I waited. Finally my answering machine came on.

“Elio! It’s Lindsey! Your manager. Pick up!”

I grabbed the phone. “Hey!”

“Hey! Just talked to the conductor. I already called Margaret’s people. So, he mentioned trying to get an album recorded? Do you want that? Tell me what you want.” 

“Yes, if we can yes. Or even if she’ll just agree to play with me in my next one if they don’t want a full album.”

“Ok,” she said. 

“Also, Lindsey, I’m gonna need some tickets. I want my partner to go see me in Paris.”

“That shouldn’t be an issue. Just one ticket?”

“Make it three, two for my parents.”

“Sounds great! I’ll keep you updated!”

“Thanks Lindsey. Bye!” I said

“Bye!”

I hung up and turned to Oliver. He was leaning against the kitchen counter. “Should I unplug it?” I asked

Oliver laughed. He came to me and wrapped his arms around me. He kissed me, sliding his hands up and down my back. I reached and stroked him. He was so hard.

I had Beethoven in my head. I looked up at him. “Come on,” I took his hand and walked him to the living room. I went to my record player and started looking through the albums.

“What are you doing?” Oliver asked me.

I found what I wanted. “There is a Beethoven song I’ve always wanted to fuck you to,” I said. 

His eyes widened in surprise. “Beethoven?” He asked. 

“Yes,” I said, sliding the record out and putting it on the record player. “Why? You don’t think Beethoven can be sexy?” I asked with a wink.

Oliver laughed. “Everything is sexy with you,” he told me.

“Good,” I said. “This is Piano Sonata No. 17 in D Minor,” I said as I put it on. The music filled the room.

“Oh, The Tempest,” Oliver said.

“Yeah, it’s referred to by that name now but not during Beethoven’s life time. In fact the supposed comment that he compared it to the Shakespearean play is inaccurate. But the name stuck,” I said shrugging.

“How do you know it’s accurate?” Oliver asked me.

“I just talked to Beethoven last week and he told me the story was total bullshit!” I said. 

Oliver laughed. I loved how he laughed. It turned me on. “So, should I get on my hands and knees?” He asked me, blue eyes sparkling.

I slipped my pants off. “It’s the music of the third movement, the Allegretto that turns me on and makes me think of you,” I said. “So we have some time for foreplay,” I said. I pushed him down on the couch.

He looked up at me as I climbed on top of him. “So if you’re going to fuck me in the third movement, does that mean I get to fuck you in the second movement?”

He pulled me in for a kiss. He kissed down my neck and chest as he held me close to him. I rubbed my erection on his, moaning as I did this. He looked up at me, his eyes were darker than a few minutes before. I leaned in and kissed him, sliding my tongue in him. I sucked on his tongue.

I pulled back. “I don’t know,” I said finally answering his question from before. “Do you think you’ve earned it?”

“Earned what?” He asked. He leaned forward and licked my right nipple, tugging it gently with his lips.

“Do you think you’ve been good and earned the right to fuck me during the second movement?” I asked. I was trying to be serious but the look he gave me makes me break out into a smile.

“Was I not good last night? Did I not suck you really good?”

“Yes! It was amazing. But you’ve already been rewarded for that. I fucked you right after, so...”

He narrowed his eyes at me. This made me smile wider. “You belong to me just as much as I belong to you and I don’t have to ask for any permission to bend you over and have my way with you. Got that?” I loved that look in his eyes and the roughness in his voice. His voice was so sexy.

“Hmm,” I said, pulling back a bit. “I don’t think I like your tone.”

“And I don’t think I give a shit,” he said pulling me to him again.

“Language!” I said.

“Screw you!” He said as he pulled me into him and started kissing and biting down my neck. I laughed because his stubble tickled. “You think this is fucking funny?” He asked. I bit my lip and stopped laughing but I was still smiling and he saw. “Oh that’s fucking it!” He exclaimed. He stood up, carrying me and walked to the kitchen. 

“What are -“

“Shh we left the lube in here,” he said.

“Oh, ok. Just put it down on the coffee table, I’ll use it when I’m good and ready,” I said.

We were back in the living room. He put me down. “When YOU’RE good and ready?

“Yeah, I mean, we’re still deciding on whether you’ve earned the right to fuck me or not, remember?” I asked him looking up at him innocently, biting my lip.

In one swift motion Oliver turned me and grabbed me around my waist. He carried me to the couch and threw me on it. He knelt in front of me. He turned me over onto my stomach and pulled me towards him, my legs sliding off the couch and my knees landing on the floor. He held me down tight. He was so strong and I loved when I felt his full strength which was something he pretty much never ever did with me. This was probably the most forceful he had ever been. 

He had me pinned down on the floor. My heart was pounding. I was so fucking hard I could barely stand it. I heard him putting lube on himself. He took my wrist, both of them and held them down on the seat of the couch in front of me with his left hand. He took my right leg and put my knee up on the couch, spreading me open.

He slid two fingers in me. I gasped and moaned as he thrusted his fingers in and out quickly, stretching me. I then felt his wet, hot throbbing tip on me, ready to enter me. With his left hand still holding down my wrists, he held my right knee with his right hand as he thrusted into me, forcefully. It made me cry out. Sting of his huge erection suddenly in me was so good.

He started fucking me hard and fast. I was pinned down completely, I couldn’t move. His left hand on my wrists, right hand on my right knee, pinning it to the couch. His chest was pressed against my back and his left leg had my left leg pinned as well. I was at his mercy and he was fucking me relentlessly and mercilessly. I had never felt him this animalistic. It was beyond amazing, feeling him like this. I had always wanted him like this, not holding back and giving me all he had. I often wondered if I would be able handle it.

“You’re MINE,” I heard him almost growl in my right ear. “I know you are, because I’m the only one that’s ever fucked you,” he continued.

I groaned. I knew if he kept talking like this he would make me climax. His voice was unreal, it did things to my body and made me feel things I couldn’t even explain. I couldn’t speak. I could only moan and groan and whimper. He leaned in closer to me, he let go of my knee and put his palm down flat on the couch, hooking my knee on his wrist. He laid his elbow down on the couch, his left elbow beside mine, still holding my wrists tight.

He continued with the barrage of hard thrusts, I hear him grunting in my left ear now. I had never been more turned on in my life. I felt his teeth on my shoulder. The sting didn’t bother me much, it felt good. I moaned as he bit me more. Somehow, he started going even faster and harder. I couldn’t stop moaning. I wasn’t sure how much more my body could take. He was so big and so hard and so rough. But it was good. It was too good. I couldn’t hold it much longer.

I came with a force I had never felt before. My whole body shook and he came right after me. I felt the explosion of his release deep in me.

“Fuck!” I exclaimed as he laid on me, almost smothering me. He was panting. His sweaty chest on my back, I feel his tongue and lips on my skin, giving me soft little kisses and licks. He’s still thrusting in me, gently, until he finished completely.

He gently slid out of me and wrapped his arms around me. He was still panting. I can feel his hot breath on my back. We slowly slide down to the floor, between the couch and the coffee table, not being able to do much more than just lay there and pant. The music is still playing. It’s still on the second movement. I feel him pull me on top of him.

“Was that good?” He asks me, running his hands up and down my back.

“Yes baby. It was fucking incredible.” I lean down and kiss his chest.

“When is the third movement?” He asked me.

“Soon,” I said smiling. I laid my cheek on his chest. “But I’m just gonna lay here a moment because you just gave me the fuck of a lifetime,” I said.

I felt his body shake as he laughed. I loved how he laughed. He ran his hands up and down my body. I kissed his chest. His touch felt so good. I rubbed my body on his. I was already getting hard again.

“Turn over,” I told him gently, I got up on my knees so he could. He did as he was told. “You’re so good baby,” I praised him. “So good for me.”

I started kissing his back. I was hard now. So hard. My body was sore from what had just happened but I needed him. Badly. I couldn’t believe my body. Even after all that, I still wanted, still NEEDED, him more.

“Baby, I want you to listen to the music. Close your eyes and listen to it. That’s how beautiful making love to you is,” I said.

The Allegretto started. I laid there for a moment listening to it as well. When the bass notes came, I felt them deep in my chest. They felt like they always did: like my deep, existential need for Oliver.

I got up on my knees and put lube on me. I slid in him. He moaned and got up on his hands and knees. “Just listen to it. Listen. It’s as beautiful as my want and need for you,” I told him. It was the truth. The moment I had paid attention to this piece, it made me think of nothing else but my want and need for him.

The way the notes rushed forward, it was almost as if I were playing catch up with them, the moment I felt I had them, they slipped out of my hand, the music was relentless. The deep bass notes that seemed to come out of nowhere, it was the deep burning of desire I felt for him. It was beautifully interwoven in the melody and made so much sense that they were there, yet they stood out to me and I felt them deep in my chest, just like I felt the burning need and desire for him.

I was so lost in the music and all I was feeling. I grabbed his hips and was thrusting in and out of him, going to the tempo of the song. This was incredible. I had wanted to have him to this song since I had learned to play it in Rome. I closed my eyes and enjoyed all of it. I looked down at Oliver’s muscular back, glistening with the sweat of when he had had me on the couch. I ran my hands up and down his back and then rested them on his lower back as I picked up my speed.

It was about halfway through the song. “Listen, baby. Listen,” I said to him. It was the build up to the first climax of the song. The 30 measures before were my favorite of then piece and there was a break in the typical melody of the song. It was beautiful, it was breathtaking. I slowed and listened to the music as well. It made me feel so much. I leaned down and kissed his back. I started picking up my pace again. The first climax of the song came. I thrusted in him hard and fast. This was amazing.

I heard him moan and saw him go down on his elbows. I grabbed his hips and closed my eyes and let my body go along with the music. This moment was everything, I wanted to live in it forever. I reached around and stroked Oliver. I wanted him to climax again, with me, with this music.

I stroked him fast, he was already hard when I had reached for him. I loved his moans and groans and all the noises that he made. “Yes, baby, yes,” I encouraged him. I felt his body tensing. I straighten up and continued thrusting into him. I moaned and leaned my head back. This was good. So good. I was close. I went even faster and harder. My knees were sore from being on the hardwood floor but nothing mattered right now, except all I was feeling, emotionally and physically.

I felt Oliver reach back and grab my left hand with his. He gripped it. “Come in me,” he said.

I looked down. “Say it again,” I said.

“Come in me. As deep as you can,” he said to me.

“Yes, baby. Yes,” I said. Hearing him say that, it was amazing. I raised my left leg, and put my foot flat on the floor as I thrusted in him hard and fast and didn’t stop until I reached orgasm, and I made sure I was as deep in him as I could be, just how he wanted me to be. He came almost at the same time. It was amazing. We landed on the floor, again, panting, sweating, worn out. The last minute of the song played. I loved the ending. It was like it was an afterthought. I loved it. I loved this. I loved him. I caressed Oliver’s back.

I’m not sure how long we laid there. I finally got up and sat on the couch. Oliver sat up soon after. We looked at each other and I couldn’t help but give him a huge grin. He was grinning as well.

“I never knew Beethoven could do this,” he said. 

I laughed. I leaned in and kissed him. I slid down and laid my head on his lap. I looked up at him. He gave me a tender smile and caressed my hair as he looked down at me. “What are you thinking?” I asked.

“I’m thinking that I love you so, so very much,” he said softly. “You?”

“Dante,” I said.

“Dante?” He asked. I nodded.

“Yet my wings were not meant for such a flight except that then my mind was struck by lightning through which my longing was at last fulfilled. Here powers failed my high imagination: but by now my desire and will were turned, like a balanced wheel rotated evenly, by the Love that moves the sun and the other stars.” I whispered to him, closing my eyes.

“That’s beautiful,” he said as he kept caressing my hair. It was so soothing. I relaxed. I suddenly became aware that he was carrying me.

“What are you doing?” I asked chuckling. He laid me on the bed and put a cover on me. “What am I? 5?”

“Shh,” He said. “You fell sleep on the couch. Rest. I’m gonna go cook dinner,” he said. I felt him kiss me softly. I was still in a half sleep state.

“Oliver,” I called.

“Yes?”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!  
> Hoped you enjoy!  
> Thank you for your kudos and all the LOVELY comments! I love reading and replying to them all! Thank you all <3


	27. Thanksgiving

I woke up a bit later. I stretched my arms up. I winced a bit as I sat up. I was going to feel what Oliver had done to me for a day or two. It was worth it though.

I got up and pulled a tee shirt on and some lounge pants. I stepped out of the bedroom. It smelled wonderful. I heard voices coming from the kitchen. I walked in and found Oliver and Valerie chatting. Valerie was helping Oliver cook.

“Well, hello, welcome back from the dead,” Valerie said.

I chuckled. I walked over to the dining table and gently sat down. I saw Oliver noticed and I saw the smile spread across his lips. I leaned back and bit my lip. I loved this. 

“What are you cooking?” I asked as I ran my left hand back in my hair.

“Salmon and shrimp quiche,” Oliver said.

“Wow! Yum! Didn’t we eat that at the French restaurant?” I asked. 

“Yes!” Valerie said. “I ran my the grocery store after my last lecture. I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon!” She said. We all laughed.

After dinner was done we all sat down and ate. We had a pleasant dinner. Afterwards I washed the dishes and while Oliver wiped the table and counters. Once I was done, I dried my hands. Valerie had retired to her room.

“Hey,” Oliver said, coming to me and holding my face in his hands. “Could you play that Beethoven piece on the piano for me?”

“The Allegretto?” I asked. 

“Yes. I’d like to hear it while I’m more coherent,” he said looking into my eyes.

“I would love to play it for you,” I said to him. Once we were done in the kitchen, we walked down the hallway, all the way down to the sunroom. I sat on the piano bench. I groaned a bit. 

He came to me and kissed me. “You’re going to be feeling that a few days,” he said.

“I know,” I replied. I took a deep breath and started playing for Oliver. He walked around the piano as I played. I would look up and hold his gaze for a few moments. Playing this song for him after making love to him to it was amazing.

When it was over, he came and sat beside me. “I see what you mean,” he said. “It’s amazing.”

I leaned forward and kissed him. I nodded. “May I play you something else?”

“Of course, my love.”

“Close your eyes, baby,” I said quietly. He did as I asked. I started playing Debussy’s Rêverie. I watched his face as I played. His face looked happy and relaxed. “What do you see?” I asked him as I kept playing.

He took a deep breath in. “You. Me. Sunlight. The Villa. The Berm. Moonlight. Your old room. You playing the piano without any clothes on. You with my sons. Today on the couch.” He opened his eyes. He let out a breath. I played the ending of the song. Once I was done he leaned towards me and put his head on my shoulder. I put my arms around him.

 

* * *

 

The next two days I had concerts. It was wonderful knowing I’d come home and find him waiting for me. He always served me dinner and gave me a glass of wine.

“I’m gonna start gaining weight,” I chuckled.

“Well, that wouldn’t be a horrible thing,” he said. “But if you ever want to work it off, being on top should do it,” he said winking at me. “It would be a great ab workout,” He said. I laughed and kissed him.

 

* * *

 

Thanksgiving morning I woke up before he did. He was laying on his stomach and I ran my hands up and down his back. I was so hard. I wanted him so badly. I grabbed some lube and slid inside of him. After a couple of thrusts he awoke with a gasp. He lifted up to his elbows and I kissed his neck and shoulders and wrapped my arms under his and caressed his chest. He relaxed when he realized what was going on. I laid my forehead on him. My whole body was over his. I wasn’t going too fast. I was just enjoying being in him.

He laid his cheek on the pillow and moaned softly as I made love to him. I bit his back, hard. He let out a small yelp and u laughed softly. I loved leaving marks on him. I sucked and bit his skin. I reached my right hand down and wrapped my fingers around him. He rubbed his erection on my hand. We did this for a while. He came a moment later. I got up on my hands and went a bit faster and harder until I came inside of him. I stayed in him until I grew soft.

He turned over on his back and pulled me to him. I laid my head on his chest. “What time are you going to Karen’s?” I asked.

“I told her I’d be there at four. So I’ll leave here no later than 3:30 pm. Traffic shouldn’t be so bad.”

“And you’ll come to the conductor’s home after, right?”

“Yes, I don’t see me staying past the boys bedtime. Once I put them to bed I’ll be on my way,” he said running his index finger along my shoulder and down my arm. It gave me goosebumps.

“And tomorrow?” I asked.

“Tomorrow Karen will bring the boys to us at 4:00 pm. And they’ll stay over night and Saturday Karen will take them home,” he said. 

“Sound like a plan,” I said, kissing him.

 

We finally got out of bed and Oliver showered and dressed. I told him I’d see him later. I was in the kitchen eating some fruit when I saw Valerie walk into the kitchen. She looked pale. “Hey, are you ok?” I walked to her looking concerned.

“I don’t think I can go,” she said quietly.

“Ok,” I said. I looked over her and felt her forehead. She felt slightly warm but not hot. I noticed her pulse looked a little faster too. “What are you feeling?” I asked her.

“I’m just SO damn tired! Like I could easily sleep 12 hrs a day. Which is insane. I can stay up all night, have 4 hrs of sleep and I’m good to go!” She shrugged and shook her head.

“Have you been eating properly? Maybe you need vitamins?” I looked at her. “You need to make a doctor’s appointment. Please,” I said. She shrugged. “I mean it!” I said with authority. I was worried for her. She looked at me and nodded.

“Just tell the conductor I’m so sorry but I’m not feeling well. Go enjoy. Oliver will be there later. I’ll just rest and lay in bed. It’s all I want to do. Lay in bed and eat some waffles and ice cream,” she said laughing.

“Well, ok! If that makes you happy,” I said.

I made Valerie a bunch of waffles to last her the whole afternoon. Thankfully we had several ice creams. I saw her put strawberry ice cream with fudge topping on the waffle. She sat at the dining table and ate the whole thing.

I went and showered and dressed.

“You look so good,” she said smiling. I had a black shirt with a dark green suit and dress pants on.

“Thank you,” I said. 

It was time for me to go so I gave her a kiss on the head and told her to call the conductor’s home if she needed me to come early. She said ok but told me to stop worrying and that she would be all right. 

 

I drove into Beverly Hills. I’m not sure how many people were invited. Last year there were about 15 of us. I parked and went inside. The place was beautifully decorated as always. The conductor came and greeted me. “WHY are you alone?”

“Valerie isn’t well and Oliver will come by after, I promise!” I said.

I went and greeted the other guests. I knew a few, the ones I didn’t know I introduced myself to. There was a very chatty woman who looked about 10 years older than me that was overly flirty. I didn’t care about her age, I’d had lovers 10 years older than me before, but I wasn’t available and even if I was, I wasn’t interested. She somehow got me alone by the bar and asked me if I was single. I was more amused than I should have been by her brazenness but I told her I was not and my partner would be by later.

“Partner?” She asked.

“I’m gay,” I said smiling. I wasn’t going to say I was bi to her.

Dinner was incredibly delicious. I kept looking at my watch. It was almost 9 pm when we were called back to the dinner table for dessert. There were all kinds of pies and cakes and puddings. We were in the middle of all that when I saw Oliver walked into the dining room. I was overjoyed.

“Well, if it isn’t Mr. Beauty and Brains himself! Welcome!” The conductor said. Everyone burst out in laughter. 

 

After we had finished the dessert the conductor insisted I play something for everyone.

“How about some Beethoven?” I said. There were cheers from most and I winked at Oliver as I started playing our Allegretto. This was ours now. It would always be ours.

I took a couple of requests afterwards. I was having a great time.

I was finally done playing. Oliver and I had some warm apple cider. He had his arm around my shoulder and I around his waist as we walked around the room and talked to some of the guests.

Surprisingly one of the dinner guests was a Philosophy Professor from Columbia. Oliver and her talked awhile and they even lost me a few times but I loved watching Oliver’s face. He was so passionate when he talked. It was gorgeous to see. At the end of the night, they exchange phone numbers. She mentioned something about a book she was planning to work on and he seemed very much excited about what she was talking about. This pleased me a great deal. 

 

It was almost midnight when we decided to leave. He drove behind me. We were home in less than 20 minutes.

We went inside and I checked in on Valerie. She was sleeping peacefully. I went to the kitchen. She had eaten all the waffles and apparently almost all the ice cream we had as well. I checked on the turkey as well since we were defrosting it.

Once I walked into our bedroom Oliver was almost fully undressed. “So what did the lady from Columbia say about a book?” I asked him.

“Oh, she was thinking of writing one and she told me some of her ideas. They’re great!”

I grinned up at him, running my fingers through his stubble. “Good,” I said kissing him.

“You were beyond amazing, my love,” he said as he kissed me back.

“Thank you,” I said as I undressed. “My biggest muse was in the room with me, so I was probably better than usual.”

“No, Elio, you’re always amazing.” He said quietly.

We turned off the light and got in bed. I laid on my back, Oliver scooted close and laid his cheek on my chest. I caressed his back. 

“It’ll be great having the boys tomorrow.”

“It will be,” I said as I leaned and kissed his forehead.

He let out a sigh and he turned his face into my chest a bit. I gently pressed my palm on his back. “Something on your mind, baby?” I asked gently.

“I’m nervous about Saturday morning,” he said quietly. It was getting easier, little by little for Oliver to open up to me. I knew, one day, we would get to the point where he would seek me. I would always look for signs of course, but I knew, one day he would open up to me without me having to ask first.

“Why, baby?”

“Dr. Jackson knew about you. I told her the truth. I’m just nervous about what Karen will ask. I don’t know.”

I thought of my talk with Karen. She pretty much knew it all.

“Don’t worry, baby. It will be perfectly fine. To be honest, we got over the biggest hurdle and that was Karen knowing you were with a man. She’s letting the boys come over with no problem, so I think she’s accepted it, now it’s just working out the details.”

“Yes, you’re right.”

I rubbed his back and felt him relax a bit before saying what I really wanted to say. I made sure my voice stayed soft and soothing. “And when you’re there, just make sure you’re open and honest and answer all her questions, ok baby? You being honest won’t do any harm. Not to us and not to her. In fact, I think her knowing the full truth will help her heal and help her get to a place where she can move on faster.”

“Hmm,” he said. His body still felt relaxed. “You think so?”

“I’m sure so,” I said softly. “I think she has some questions and once she sees the whole picture she’ll be able to move forward. She wants closure, baby. If she can get it by talking to you and Dr. Jackson then that’s wonderful.”

“Yes, you’re right,” he said. I felt him nod his head. I smiled to myself. I turned my body and wrapped my arms around him. 

“But, that’s not till Saturday morning. Tomorrow we are going to have a wonderful day with your sons. Have you thought about how to cook the turkey?”

“Yes! And I’ll make all the sides the boys love. Was there something specific you wanted me to make?”

“No! I’m just excited about tomorrow. I’ll help you as much as I can of course.”

“Mmmm. Good,” I leaned down and kissed him. I kissed him a long, long while. I caressed him and held him and soothed him to sleep. I felt so happy to be taking care of him in every way.

 

The next day we woke up and I made breakfast. Oliver got to seasoning the turkey. He had it in the oven by noon. Valerie walked out of her bedroom almost at 1 pm. She ate scrambled eggs with avocado and then went and had a shower and dressed. She looked perfectly fine after. She hugged us and said she was going to Kim’s.

“And your date?” I asked raising my eye brows.

“Oh! Did I hear date?” Oliver asked looking at her.

She grinned. “Yes! So he’ll come over and get me at Kim’s.” She said.

“Better be home before midnight young lady!” Oliver said. We all laughed and she hugged us both and left. Oliver and I started cooking our side dishes. 

Karen was very punctual and was knocking at our door at 3:58 pm. The boys jumped and smiled when they saw Oliver.

I was surprised when Karen gave me a hug and told me, “Happy Thanksgiving.”

“Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving to you as well,” I said. 

The boys started running around as usual. Oliver was running after them.

“Karen, we have tons and tons of food, do you want to stay for dinner?”

She looked at me and for a moment I actually thought she would she yes. “Oh, no it’s ok. This is your time with the boys,” she said. 

“You sure? I mean, you’re family too,” I told her. I really wanted her to understand that I wanted us to be ok.

“You’re so sweet, Elio. Thank you. But, honestly. It’s ok. And I have more than plenty of left overs at home,” she said.

“Ok,” I said. After a few minutes she hugged the boys and told them she would see them tomorrow. She gave me another quick hug and then left.

After a while we all sat down at the table and ate. It was messy and loud but I absolutely loved it. 

We put on Alice in Wonderland after. I always liked this film. Once it was over we gave the boys a bath and put them to bed.

We went to our room afterwards. We undressed and got in bed. I climbed on top of Oliver and kissed his neck.

“Thank you so much,” he said softly.

“For what?” I asked looked down at him. 

“Being amazing. Being perfect. Being... you.”

“No need to thank me baby,” I said. I kissed down his body and took him in my mouth. I swirled my tongue around him, sucking him. I stroked the bottom part of his erection. I wanted every inch of him pleased. I loved how he thrusted up into my mouth. He slid his right hand into my hair, tugging it slightly. I squeezed his thighs as I sucked harder. 

I pulled him out so that only his head was in my mouth. I stroked him as I gently swirled my tongue around his head, flicking the very tip with the tip of my tongue. He moaned and I felt the goosebumps on his skin. I sucked his head hard. Right before he came I pushed him as deep as I could into my mouth. I gently sucked and swallowed as he came. I kissed up his body once he was all done.

I crawled up and I laid on the bed on my back and Oliver laid on me again like the night before. Once we had relaxed his breathing, I repeated last night’s ritual of rubbing his back and reassuring him in a soothing voice that everything would be ok tomorrow. He nodded. I reminded him to be honest with Karen so she could have closure and move on.

“And once she moves on and is emotionally where she needs to be, then it’ll be easier for us to move on as well and build a good relationship with her. That’s important, baby. The boys need to feel we’re all looking out for them together.”

“Yes, as always, you’re right.” Oliver said.

He was sleep soon enough. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw he was sleep. I felt happy. We could focus on the future now and there was nothing more than I wanted. 

 

* * *

 

The next morning I got up when Oliver did. I offered to make him breakfast but he just said he would have coffee. I sat with him at the dining table and caressed his hand and neck. He didn’t feel to stressed.

“Just be honest and open. It’ll be ok, baby,” I said to him. 

He smiled and nodded at me. I think all I had been saying had sunk in. Part of me actually wished I could be there because I really wanted Oliver to be open and honest with Karen. They were already divorcing, so I knew what she needed was emotional closure to move on. Oliver owed her that. I looked at him and kissed him softly.

He kissed me back. “Hope this goes well.” He said.

“It will. Like I said. She just needs closure.” I said.

He nodded. It was time for him to go. The Dr. Jackson’s office was in Oxnard so he left at 8:30 to be there on time.

 

I had just shut the front door when I heard Valerie’s bedroom door open. She came out. I took a look at her. She was wearing a large blue UCLA hoodie, she had her hands in the pouch in the front.

“Hey!” I said brightly as she walked closer to me. “How are you?”

“We need to talk,” she said as she walked by me and sat on the couch.

I was more than confused by this. “Ok,” I said. I went and sat at the opposite end of the couch.

She turned towards me and took her hands out of the pouch. She looked at me. She was holding something in one of her hands. She got up and sat closer to me. She placed the three white plastic sticks on the couch between us. It took me a moment to even register what those were.

“Are those...” I trailed off. My heart was beating. My hands were suddenly cold and sweating.

“Pregnancy tests. Three of them. They’re all positive.” She said. We looked at each other.

“What?” I asked. 

“Yesterday when I got to Kim’s I started telling her about my fatigue and the headaches. She made me take one. It was positive. She called her cousin and cancelled the date,” she said laughing. It wasn’t a happy laugh though. She started to cry. “Then she went and bought me two more tests. I took one last night and one this morning. They’re all positive.” She said.

I was silent a moment. “Valerie, we used protection all the time.” I said.

“I know! I know!” She shook her head, tears running down her face.

“Ok, it’s ok,” I said.

I took a deep breath. I wasn’t feeling much, I knew I was in shock really, was just reacting to her stress and I didn’t want her to freak out. I wanted to ground her.

“I’m in second year of law school, Elio! I can’t drop out! I want to finish school!”

“Valerie! Hey,” I held her. “You’re not dropping out, Val. That’s insane. No, no. You’re not.”

My mind was racing but I tried to slow it down. I couldn’t loose my composure right now. Not right now. I made myself slow my breathing down. I slowly counted to five a couple of times. 

Valerie cried for a while longer as I held her. She looked up at me. “I stayed up all night. Thinking,” she said.

“Why didn’t you come tell me?”

“Elio! You were having thanksgiving with Oliver and his sons!”

“Well this is about my -“

The world stuck in my throat. CHILD I said to myself. 

Fuck.

I had never asked myself if I wanted this. Did I want this? I thought of Oliver’s children. They’re the closest thing I had to my own and I loved having them around. I loved the noise they made and the mess they made and their constant needing of something, whether it was a toy or to play or just my attention. I remember last night Michael telling me how good he was at adding and Ben counting to ten. I loved all that.

I heard Valerie take in a deep breath. We looked at one another.

“We’ll figure this out,” I said. “We are adults and we will figure this out. And we will make this work. And you’re not quitting school, ok. Don’t ever even think that. Plus, I’m sure at least one person in one of your classes has a kid!”

She nodded and looked at me. “Yeah, I know some do.”

“Exactly. I mean, I’m making pretty decent money,” I said.

I closed my eyes a moment. I was about to be 25 at the end of December. Valerie has just turned 24 end of October. People our age had kids all the time.

I opened my eyes and looked at her. “I’ll call Monday morning and make an appointment with my OBGYN as soon as I can,” she said. I nodded. “Please, please come with me,” she said holding my hands.

“Of course,” I said. “I’m going to every appointment with you,” I told her in a steady voice. I pulled her into a hug. Valerie and I had a decent relationship. I knew she wasn’t overly emotional, which I appreciated, and I knew we had good communication. She also respected my life with Oliver. Oliver. My heart skipped a beat. Oliver would understand, being a father himself, I told myself. I couldn’t help but feel slightly nervous though.

She pulled back and looked at me, “Did you want me to be with you when you tell Oliver?” She asked. “I know it may be weird but... this is all weird.” She said looking at me.

“Thank you,” I said making sure I sounded very calm. “But I think I’ll tell him myself.”

“You could wait till we see the doctor,” she said as she looked at the tests.

“Except, I’m pretty sure three aren’t wrong.” I said to her.

“You’re right,” she said sighing.

I nodded. “Uh... do you have any idea how long?”

She nodded. “Well, the last time we slept together was a week before we broke up so that was six weeks ago. So anywhere between six to eight weeks.”

“Wow,” I said. This was a lot. I looked at Val. She looked scared. I couldn’t be. We both couldn’t be. I took a deep breath. I squeezed her hand. I massaged her hand. “Hey,” I said in the most soothing voice I could muster. “This will be ok. You’re an amazing person. I think I’m ok,” I said with a shrug and smile.

“You’re more than ok, Elio. You’re amazing.”

“We will work this out.” I said looking into her eyes.

“I’m hungry!” Michael called out from the hallway.

I looked over and saw him standing there. “Hey, least you’ve already been practicing!” Val said with a smile.

“Yeah,” I said standing up. “I’ll be right back,” I said as I walked over to Michale and picked him up. I walked down the hall. I walked into the bedroom. Ben was on the floor playing with his trains.

“Daddy! Cheerios!” He said. I put Michael down and picked Ben up.

“Cheerios it is!” I said. I held him close. My heart was pounding.

My own child. I still in shock. “Wow,” I whispered as I held Ben close to my heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok lovelies!  
> The cat is out of the bag and as you pretty much all figured out Elio is gonna be a daddy! But let’s stay positive! It’ll all be good!!  
> Hope you enjoyed!!


	28. All About The Women In Their Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies!  
> This chapter is from Oliver’s POV  
> Enjoy!  
> Hugs <3

I pulled in front of Dr. Jackson’s building. I parked. I saw Karen exit her car and wave at me. I took a deep breath in and out. I heard Elio’s voice in my head: ‘It’ll be ok.’ ‘Be honest.’ ‘She just wants closure.’ 

I walked towards her. “Hey, good morning, how are you?” 

“Good, how are you?” She said pulling me into a hug.

“I’m great thank you,” I said patting her back.

“How was thanksgiving dinner?” 

“Wonderful, thank you,” I said opening up the door to the building. We walked to the elevator and on the ride up I gave her little details of the cute things Michael and Ben had done the night before. 

We exited the elevator and walked to 507.

We stepped inside. It seemed... quiet. The door that led to the smaller rooms inside was open. 

“Oliver? Karen? Is that you?” 

“Yes,” we both said.

Dr. Jackson came out. She had a lovely cream knit top and a long cream flowing skirt. Her hair in a stylish short pony tail. She had thick black horn rimmed glasses.

She came and gave me a warm hug, then turned and hugged Karen. “Come on in,” she said and led us inside. “I don’t normally have appointments on Saturdays,” she said as she walked in front of us, “But I know you’re both teachers, well professor and teacher and I know you work Monday through Friday so I was more than happy to accommodate you.”

We walked into one of her sitting rooms. Karen and I sat in a floral love seat and she sat on the arm chair adjacent to us.She opened up her black leather folder. “How are you both today?”

“Good, thank you,” I said, automatically responding to her question.

“Yes, well, thank you,” Karen also replied.

“Ok, so, Karen, you came Thursday to fill me in on what has happened lately. Oliver, you told Karen about your relationship with Elio?”

“Yes,” I said nodding.

“Ok, Karen?” 

“Yeah, he told me and I came to see you the day after,” Karen started. Dr. Jackson nodded. “Then, uh that Saturday I decided I wanted to go and meet Elio.” She said.

“Unannounced?” Dr. Jackson asked.

Karen nodded. “Oliver has a habit of sleeping in on Saturdays and I had the feeling that wouldn’t change overnight. So I stopped by and met Elio.”

I looked at her as she talked. She wouldn’t look my way but that was ok. I was very curious to hear this. Elio hadn’t given me details, but I hadn’t really asked. I figured if something important had come up during their talk he would have told me.

“Ok. What made you want to go?”

“I wanted to meet him. See him. I needed to put a face to the man he’s in love with.”

Dr. Jackson nodded. “Why didn’t you tell Oliver of your desire to meet him and set something up? Why did you go unannounced?” 

Karen took a deep breath in. “Oliver waits until he’s cornered to share anything he thinks you may not like with you. So if any part of him felt I was hurt or angry about this I knew I wouldn’t meet Elio for years so, I took the initiative.”

“Are you happy you did?” Dr. Jackson asked.

“Yes.” Karen nodded.

“What were your expectations?”

“I wanted to meet him,” she said. “I also wanted answers.”

“Answers. Why didn’t you ask Oliver?”

“Like I said, Oliver holds back when it’s not a happy conversation. I felt I would get more truth, well no, I _hoped_ , I’d get the truth from Elio.” She said.

“Did you?”

“I think so,” she said finally looking my way.

“Tell me about your conversation.”

“Elio told me they met when he was 17,” she looked at me. She had tears in her eyes. “Seventeen. He was a baby, Oliver,” she said. I felt a coldness in my chest. Ok, maybe this wasn’t going to be as good as Elio thought. She shook her head. “Anyway, I was shocked. I actually thought maybe they had met at a gay club or whatever.” Dr. Jackson handed her tissues.

“Oliver?” Dr. Jackson said.

“Yes?”

“You and I have discussed in great length the issue of Elio’s age,” she said.

I nodded. I know she was opening up a channel of communication. My heart was pounding. She knew because Elio had told her, because I hadn’t. I had promised Elio I’d be honest. I had promised. Fuck.

“Yeah we have,” I said. Dr. Jackson nodded. She gave me her warm smile. I looked at Karen. “Yes, when I went to Italy and met him he was seventeen.” Again, she gave me a disapproving look. “I did try to keep my distance when I first met him, the age was a factor. Also he was the son of the professor that was hosting me.” I cleared my throat.

“Yes,” Dr. Jackson said.

“I got to know him. So smart. So mature,” I said. I closed me eyes. ‘Just be honest, she wants closure, Elio’s voice said in my head. “But he told me he had feelings for me and try as I could to stay away I just couldn’t. I gave in. I let myself feel all I wanted to feel. I was so taken by him. I let myself go.” 

“You were in love?” Karen asked.

“Yes, very, very much so.” I said finally looking at her.

“Then why leave him? Why come and marry me? You fucked over _both_ of us Oliver!” She was so angry. Her face was flushed. “I knew we weren’t it, ok, but fuck I was going to fucking _try_! But we had no fucking chance because you were in love! And him. Jesus.” She shook her head. “I’m sure you had sex no? Was he a virgin? You fucked him and left him and -“

“ _ENOUGH_!” I said suddenly angry. I knew I had been pretty loud but she was treading on thin ice. My relationship with Elio was not something she was allowed to comment on. I calmed myself before continuing. “That’s between Elio and I and we have worked through it and are working through it. If it all happened today I would obviously handle it different as I’m sure he would too and as I’m sure _you_ would as well, Karen. But,” I finally took a breath. She was looking at her lap. “What’s done is done. I can’t change anything I did.” I let a breath out. I looked at Dr. Jackson.

“Karen?”

“Yeah. What he said. It’s so nice you know, just to say ah what’s done is done and well we just have to move on with our lives.” She huffed and turned away from me.

I shook my head and looked at Dr. Jackson. I was so angry. I was trying so hard to stay calm. Dr. Jackson looked at me and again gave me her warm smile. “It’s obviously not like that because here we are, Karen. Us with Dr. Jackson and trying to move on in a healthy way.”

“Indeed,” Dr. Jackson said.

I looked at Karen. “Karen,” I shifted my body to her. I wanted to do this right. More than anything I wanted to make Elio proud.

She looked at me. “What?” She said.

“I did not know how to handle it all back then. It’s still hard now,” I said. “I did not know how to handle the thought of spending my life with another man. He was very young, yes, and that added to the stress. Then my parents.” I sighed. I looked into her eyes. She didn’t look angry. “I did what I thought was righ then. I thought that was marrying a woman and making my parents proud and be what I was expected to be. I would just deal with it and yes, I did what I did and just hoped you and Elio and I would be ok. But in all honesty, I never meant to hurt you. Or Elio. I never meant to hurt anyone. And like I’ve also said, my children, _our_ children Karen, I could never regret them. Maybe we fucked up, ok? And I _know_ I fucked up. But I could never, ever regret Michael or Ben. At least we have that. We have them. We can let them be the beautiful thing that’s come out of all this.”

Tears were streaming down her face. “Yes,” she said. “Yeah.”

I sighed. Ok, I thought, I think Elio would be proud of that.

 

When our hour was up we hugged Dr. Jackson and left. We had made separate appointments with her. I was coming back on Monday afternoon and Karen would be back Thursday afternoon. We would meet again Saturday morning at the same time. Dr. Jackson said she felt doing that would help the most. I would have said yes to anything she had asked of us.

We rode the elevator in silence. Once we stepped out she asked me to wait for her as she ran to the bathroom. When she returned I noticed she had probably splashed some cold water to her face and had added some lipstick. I opened the door for her and we stepped outside. She followed me as we drove to Elio’s. 

 

* * *

 

The ride took a while. I kept looking in my rear view to make sure she was behind me. I didn’t know why. She knew where we lived. I let out a deep sigh. I thought back to the session with Dr. Jackson. I think I did the best I could. I was actually looking forward to seeing her by myself on Monday. It would be a lot less stressful than having Karen there. I wanted to be honest but I was still worried about saying the wrong thing to Karen. I needed to try to get over that though. I shouldn’t over analyze everything.

 

We finally made it. I pulled into the driveway beside Elio’s car and she pulled in beside me. Valerie must be out. I waited for Karen and we entered the house together.

I heard the piano playing and laughter.

“Ok! Me again! Me again!” I heard Michael say.

I motioned for Karen to come down the hallway to the sunroom. Elio was in there with the boys, playing the piano with them. The room was extra beautiful with all the sun coming in. 

“Oh, how pretty!” Karen said.

“Daddy! Mommy!” Michael ran to us. I picked him up.

Elio put Ben down on the floor and Karen picked him up.

“That’s a beautiful piano,” Karen said.

“Would you like me to play you something?” Elio asked her with a charming smile. I grinned to myself. He was so damn handsome and charming.

“Oh, uh I’m not really into classical music,” Karen said.

“What’s your favorite band?” He asked her.

“INXS,” she answered.

Elio nodded and turned to the piano and started playing ‘Never Tear Us Apart’. I looked at Karen. She was happy to hear it. Once it was over she clapped. “That was great! Thank you,” she said.

Elio stood up and we made some pleasant conversation for a while. Finally, Karen said it was time for her to go. Elio hugged the boys. I went and got their bag from their room. Elio had repacked everything. I walked out with Karen and I helped her put the boys to into the car.

“Ok,” Karen said. “So I’ll see you next Saturday?” She said.

“Yes, of course. We’ll work something out for Saturday morning,” I said. 

“Right. Because you’re busy Friday night.”

“Yeah Elio has his CD release party that night. So we’ll be going to that.” 

“Ok,” she said and nodded.

“We’ll work something out so I can bring the boys with me Saturday.” I said.

“Ok, sounds good. Take care,” she said.

“Yes, you too. Bye. Drive safe. Call me when you get home.” 

“Will do. Ok, bye.”

  

I watched as she drove off. I let out a deep breath and turned back around. I couldn’t wait to just be with Elio. I walked back inside and expected to see him in the living room but didn’t. I walked to the kitchen. Empty. I walked down the hall to our bedroom and went in. He was sitting at the edge of the bed. He had his feet up on the bed frame, hands clasped, elbows on his knees, head hanging down. I don’t think I had ever seen him like this.

“Hey,” I said softly.

He looked up. The moment he saw me his face lit up and he smiled at me. “Hey baby,” he said. He held his hand out, “Come, tell me about how it went.”

I nodded and went and sat down beside him and rehashed it all. He listened and nodded and I told him what I had said. I begrudgingly told him about the comments Karen had made and watched his face for a reaction. He just shook his head. “What did you say when she said that?” He asked.

“I told her is was none of her business. That you and I have worked through it.”

“Yes we have,” He said taking my hand. He started massaging it. He looked at me with his soulful eyes. “Anything else baby?”

“No, that pretty much covers it.” I said. “How do you think I did?”

He leaned forward and kissed me. “I think you did wonderful and I’m really happy that you were able to express yourself openly. I know it was hard and you did great. I’m sure after seeing you separately and then together again Dr. Jackson will think it resolved. 

“Yeah, I think so too,” I said nodding.

He smiled and leaned in and kissed me again. He rested his forehead on mine and let out a deep breath. I leaned back. We looked into each other’s eyes.  

I was about to ask him if something was the matter when he said, “I have something to tell you.”

“Ok,” I said.

He turned his body to me and took both my hands in his. I turned my body to him as well. “Valerie is pregnant.”

It took me a moment. I repeated the words in my head. Valerie is pregnant. I blurted out the first thing I thought. “Is the child yours?”

“Yes,” He said. “I mean, after we broke up she hasn’t been with anyone else.”

“How do you know?”

“Well, I don’t as I don’t follow her 24/7 but this date she was supposed to have yesterday was the first time she’s ever even mentioned a date. And the last time her and I were intimate seem to match her symptoms. So she says. I’m not an expert on pregnancy symptoms,” he chuckle and looked at me. I could tell by his face that he was very worried about my reaction. I felt... extremely calm.

I suddenly thought back to Karen. “Karen was.. well she had bad morning sickness with both. With Michael I think she said it was at six weeks. With Ben it was sooner, four weeks maybe. She was super tired and she wanted to eat all kinds of weird shit,” I said.

“Yeah well, that’s Valerie minus the morning sickness,” he said. “Did Karen hate food she liked?”

“Yeah,” I said. “She couldn’t eat yogurt while she was pregnant, she said it tasted gross but she’s addicted to it.”

“Yeah, a few days back Valerie said yuck to coffee when she would drink like four cups a day,” he said. 

“How far along does she think she is?”

“Six to eight weeks,” he said.

I nodded. “You broke up when?” 

“Five weeks ago,” Elio said.

I suddenly remember when Karen had told me about Ben. I knew our marriage was broken by then and I remember the guilt I felt in having just told her I didn’t want another child before she told me she was pregnant.

“How did you react? What did you say to her?” I asked him.

Elio looked at me a second, as if he was trying to figure out why I was asking him this. “Well, she, for some reason, said she couldn’t drop out of law school, which was an insane thing to say. I told her she wouldn’t have to. I told her we were both adults and that we would work everything out. I also told her I’d go to every appointment with her.”

I smiled at him. I was so proud of him. His maturity was amazing. Much more mature than am I. “That’s good Elio,” I said. I pulled him into my arms. I held him tight. I was feeling so much.

“You’re not mad?” He asked softly in my ear.

“No,” I said quietly. Could I even put into words all I felt? I pulled back. My chest felt like it could burst as all this was sinking in. “Well, I would be extremely upset if this made you want toleave me for Valerie,” I said, jokingly.

“No! No. I love you,” he said looking very worried.

I reached up and held his face in my hands. I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn’t find the words. I was feeling so much and I also knew this was very overwhelming for him so I felt I should just keep myself focused on him and keep my words encouraging. I kissed him and pulled him close to me again. I held him so tight. I closed my eyes. I felt tears come to my eyes.

I took a deep breath, after a moment I said, “A very, very wise and amazing man once told me, being a father is the most important job in the world,” I said to him. I tried to blink away the tears. I pulled back and saw he had tears in his eyes too.

I saw the tears fall down his face. He looked at me as the tears fell down my face too. “Why are you crying?” He asked me, laughing through this tears as he wiped his face with the back of his hand.

I tried to slow my brain. “Because you’re going to be the most amazing father.” I said. “And because I can teach you how to change diapers.” He laughed. He took a deep breath in and squared his shoulders. He ran his hands through his hair. I reached up and caressed his face. 

He looked at me. “Why did you ask me what my response was to Valerie when she told me?”

I looked into his eyes. “Michael was born practically a year after Karen and I married. I was very happy to be a father Elio,” I said. He nodded and gave me a warm look. “And for a moment life was ok. Fatherhood gave me such a purpose.” I said. I closed my eyes a moment and pictured Michael. So tiny, just born, how amazing it was. “I remember holding him, Elio, right after he was born and just thinking, wow, _this_ is why I’m alive. To be here for _you_.” 

Elio looked at me and nodded again. His eyes staring into mine. “Wow,” he said. 

I nodded. “I can’t wait for you to feel that,” I said. I took a deep breath in and out.“Anyway, so Karen and I soon after went back to not being happy. She said to me one day maybe another baby would help. We were really happy after Michael was born but we were happy because of him not because our marriage was suddenly great,” I said.

“Yeah, I see that,” Elio said.

“Anyway, so she had brought up the subject of another child and I said no, not a good idea. Then one day she came to me and again and said ‘So how would you feel about another baby?’ I said ‘Not good’ and she said ‘I’m pregnant.’”

“Oh, crap,” Elio said.

I nodded. “I love Ben _so_ much, you know this,” I said.

“I know, I know,” he said taking my hands into his. 

“But, that’s always in the back of my head. It’s not that I didn’t _want_ Ben its just that our marriages sucked and I didn’t see why adding an innocent little being to the mix would help anyone. Then Ben was born. Looking just like me, of course!” I said laughing and suddenly realizing tears were falling down my face again. “He was so perfect and I felt so... undeserving of him.” I said as the tears came faster.

“It’s ok,” Elio said getting up and wrapping his arms around me. “It’s ok. You’re an amazing dad and he’s a very happy little boy.”

I nodded. “Just I know I didn’t want you to have that guilt, like I do, for saying what I said to Karen.”

Elio kissed me. “Don’t be so hard on yourself,” he said. 

“Thank you,” I said. I noticed he too looked more calm. “You were worried about telling me?” I asked. 

“Yes,” he said caressing my chest.

“Why? You weren’t worried I’d break up with you, were you?” I asked him.

He looked down. “I was worried about how this would affect us, yes” he said.

“Elio,” I whispered. I lifted his chin with my index finger. “I meant it when I said I’m not going anywhere. If you ever get sick of me,” I sighed. “I feel sorry for you because I’m really not going anywhere.” 

Elio laughed. I kissed him and held him tight again.

 

* * *

 

 

We had made our way to the kitchen. Elio said Valerie had run to the grocery store. I was preparing to cook a late lunch. “Well, sometimes it happens. I’ve known a few colleagues that got pregnant that way,” I said to him.

“Yeah we were as careful as we could have been.” Elio shook his head.

I wrapped him in my arms again. I kissed all over his face. He laughed. “Is my stubble tickling you?” I asked.

“Yes, but I love it,” he said as he ran his fingers through it. “You look so sexy in it.”

We kissed more deeply. I pressed his body to mine. “Mmm you feel so good,” I said to him.

We heard Valerie’s car pulling into the driveway. We parted and I fixed my shirt. Elio looked my way and squeezed my hand.

“Can I congratulate her?” I asked.

“Yes,” Elio said.

We walked to the door and helped Valerie with the grocery store bags. Once inside I gave Valerie a hug and told her congratulations. She had tears in her eyes. Elio hugged her again and I started cooking. We sat down and had a wonderful meal together.

After we ate Valerie said she was going to go lay down in her room. Elio and I relaxed in the living room and watched tv for a while. He was leaning on me and I was so happy to be holding him.

My mind kept wondering to Elio’s child. I wonder what the baby would look like. I was getting excited. I thought of Ben and Michael. I suddenly thought: I hope it’s a girl. I imaging a little girl looking just like Elio. I imagined her green eyes, pale skin and bouncy curls. I felt a warmness in my stomach. That would be wonderful.

“Oliver!” I snapped out of my thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“Which one do you want to watch?”

“What?”

Elio laughed. “I asked which movie did you want to watch,” he handed me the TV guide.

“Don’t matter,” I said. “You choose.”

Elio looked at me. “What were you just thinking about?”

“It’s private,” I said.

He laughed. “That’s my line.”

“Not anymore,” I said laughing. I grabbed and pulled him to me, kissing him all over.

 

We decided to have a bit more to eat. “Go ask Valerie if she wants us to bring her food to her room,” I told him.

He nodded and then came back with Valerie and we all had dinner. After we were done she went back to bed and Elio and I cleaned up. Once we were done we went to our room. 

I closed the door behind me and we undressed as we got in bed. I wrapped my arms around Elio as soon as he was close enough. I pulled him close to me.

“Elio, you do so much for me when I’m stressed out, I really want to do the same for you,” I told him softly as I rubbed his back.

He leaned into me. I felt as if he was melting into me. I loved how he felt in my arms. “You do that just by being with me.” He said softly.

I kissed his neck and chest, rubbing his back still. I kissed his collar bone and worked my way down his body. I quickly took him in my mouth. I took my time with everything I was doing to him. I caressed his tighs as I kissed and licked and sucked him, making sure I pleased him in every way. I loved the way he moaned and how he pulled my hair and pushed me into him. After a while I felt he was getting ready to climax. I slid him in my mouth as deep as I could take him. His groans were beautiful. He lifted his hips to me. I sucked him harder. He came and I swallowed all of it. I kept him in my mouth until he started to soften.

I crawled back up to him and kissed his neck. I felt the sweat on him. I licked it off his neck. He laughed softly. He wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me. “That was so good baby,” he said to me softly. “Thank you.”

“I aim to please you always, my love,” I said to him. We kissed a moment longer.

“You did. You are so good to me. So good,” he said and pressed his lips to mine, sliding his tongue inside my mouth. My erection reacted to this and he left it as it pressed against him. He reached down and wrapped his fingers around me, stroking me gently.

“Fuck,” I said breathlessly. His touch drove me crazy. I leaned into his beautiful neck.

“You’ve been so good to me, baby,” he said. “Thank you.” He turned on his right side. He pushed his hips back against me. He reached for the lube and handed it to me. I put some on my fingers and slid inside him. I then put some on myself and slid inside him.

I moaned and I wrapped my arms around his hips. I didn’t hold back. I held him tight to me as I thrusted in and out of him hard and fast. I bit his shoulder. I sucked at the base of his neck. He moaned and pushed his hips back into me. He felt so amazing. I marked his shoulder blade. He hissed at my bite. I loved it even more. I kissed up his neck and sucked on his earlobe. I came deep in him soon after. We laid there, with him in my arms, panting. I felt amazing. A moment later I got up and got a towel to clean us up. I laid back down and held him. 

I heard Elio let our a sigh. “You ok?”

“Yes, baby,” he said.

“I love you so much, Elio. So, so much.”

“I love you more,” he whispered.

“No, that’s impossible,” I said as I kissed his neck more. 

He giggled as I knew my stubble was tickling him. I did it again and he laughed more. We finally relaxed. I held him close to me.

“So we’re ok?” He asked.

“We’re _more_ than ok. We’re us. We’re perfect,” I told him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok! So... the family will be growing and it will be a good thing all around! We can all breathe a sigh of relief as Oliver came to the rescue and was the supportive partner to Elio that Elio has been to him for a long time!  
> Hope you all enjoyed!!  
> HUGS <3 <3 <3


	29. Revealtions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies!  
> So, beginning in this chapter and in the following few chapters I’ve decided that I want to delve back into Elio’s past in those blank years between the time that Oliver left and the time he saw him again in December of ‘88.  
> I hope you enjoy how I have filled in the blanks ;)  
> Enjoy! Hugs <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big should out to TheCosmicFragments for helping me with the Italian!  
> You’re the best girl!  
> Hugs <3

I felt Oliver relax his arms around me as he fell sleep. His breathing was deep and rhythmic. I sighed. I felt so good. My body felt so good. After a moment I fell sleep as well. 

 

I woke up a while later. It was still dark. I wondered what time it was but I couldn’t quite reach my bedside table to get my watch and I didn’t want to move. Oliver’s strong arms were still around me, holding me close. I could feel his cheek on the nape of my neck, his warm breath on my skin. His knees were bent and underneath mine. I loved this. We fit so perfectly together.

I sighed. My thoughts had slowed down. A child. A baby. Wow. A baby and Oliver with me beside it all. I couldn’t help but smile to myself. It was a shock but, he was with me and I could do this. I could do anything with him beside me. If someone would have told me after Oliver called me to tell me he was to be married that seven years down the road I would be in California with Oliver in my bed and a baby on the way, I would believed them completely deranged.

I thought back to that time in my life. The phone call had been heartbreaking.

 

“Do you mind?” He had asked.

I hated myself for so long afterwards for not speaking my mind. For not telling him how much I loved him and needed him and that OF COURSE I fucking minded! He belonged to me. But I let it go. I felt when he had called he had already made up his mind. Fighting it would have been like beating a dead horse.

 

Needless to say ‘84 has been a rough year. I cried myself to sleep countless nights. It was Valentine’s Day and while all my friends in school were busying themselves with celebrating it with their significant others the sting of Oliver was so fresh in me. I had passed by a store and had bought a Valentine’s card for Oliver. I started writing. When I ran out of space I picked up a notepad and kept writing. This was something I had always done. I had stopped, not sure why, but I needed to start again. So I did.

It helped me keep my head clear and then I got into the Conservatorio and life changed. I remembered how badly I had wanted to tell Oliver. I wrote it down instead. That’s the best I could do. The Conservatorio was amazing. Being surrounded by so many musicians was incredible.

I met Alessandra at a party on a weekend in late October or ‘84. She was a cellist. We talked all night but nothing else happened. During November and December we would see each other on campus but it wasn’t until a friend of mine had a get together at a bar for my 19th birthday that her and I got together. We had sex for the first time and began seeing each other. It didn’t quite feel like a normal boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. It was more like friends with benefits. We would seek each other out mostly for company and sex but it didn’t quite feel romantic. I didn’t mind this. I was very happy to want someone else sexually. Someone who was as far away physically from Oliver as possible.

One lazy May evening in ‘85 we were laying in bed smoking when she had asked me if I had ever been in love.

“Elio, sei mai stato innamorato?” She glanced over and looked at me.

I looked at her chestnut hair falling over her tanned bare shoulders.

“Perché me lo chiedi?” I wanted to know why she was asking.

“Niente. Sono solo curiosa,” she said shrugging her shoulders. She was just curious.

I proceeded to tell her about Oliver a bit. I didn’t speak his name though. I just said summer of ‘83 I fell in love with a student my father hosted. I told her it was a guy. She was a little surprised but didn’t say much else. I remember telling her about his blond hair and blue eyes. His broad shoulders. I started talking and couldn’t quite stop. I only slept with her once more after that. She sought me out more than once after but I always had an excuse. By the time the new school year began she quit seeking me out.

 

* * *

 

When the new school year began in ‘85, I told myself that it was time to move on. To truly move on. I was looking but wasn’t. I thought if I was meant to meet someone I would. I decided to just let myself be very open to whatever possibilities came my way. I dated here and there for most of the beginning of the schoolyear. I always had dates on the weekends. Nothing panned out though and I never went on more than two dates with anyone. One Saturday in late November I met Édouard at a local bookstore. I found him very attractive. He was similar to my height and built. Hair a lighter shade of brown, eyes a pretty light brown as well. He was studying mathematics at Sapienza University. He, like me, had an Italian parent and a French parent. We hit it off immediately and started seeing each other. Even I was surprised in how easily and quickly we came together.

I invited him to stay at the Villa with us for the winter holidays. He celebrated Christmas but embraced Hanukkah with us. My parents liked him a lot. I made love to him in my bedroom. We put the beds together like Oliver and I had. The first time we had slept together in my beds I stayed awake all night. I didn’t know if I was feeling guilty or proud of myself.

He was perfect in every way. Good looking, smart, cultured, very sweet and understanding. The biggest difference between my relationship with him than the one I had with Oliver was how acquiescent Édouard was. I found that I quite liked it, especially when it came to sex. With Oliver, I always felt inexperienced and I had always let him take the lead. It just seemed natural for me to let him. With Édouard there was a complete reversal of roles. I was always more dominant.

As ‘86 wore on, Édouard and I became much more serious. We moved into a small apartment in Rome together in March of that year. There was a small cafe nearby that he loved and it became our habit to go there for breakfast every Saturday morning. I was happy. He and I would talk of the future. He would say he couldn’t wait until I became a famous pianist. He was planning to teach math. The summer of ‘86 we spent in France. We stayed with this parents for three weeks. He and I then spent time in my family home in France and then we went to the villa for the last few weeks of summer.

I remember it was early August and we were laying in bed. He was laying on my chest running his fingertips down to my bellybutton and up to my collarbone. I was reading. I heard his soft voice, “Je t’aime, Elio, de tout mon cœur.”

I put my book down. I cupped his cheek with my hand. “Je t’aime aussi, Édouard.” I kissed him and made love to him twice more that day. I was so happy.

We started school again. Life was pleasantly moving itself along. Édouard loved to paint and would happily do so in the little balcony we had. He was quite good. He would tell me when we were both done school and bought our own home he would decorate the place with his paintings. I told him that that would be wonderful. The winter holidays came and we went to the Villa with my parents.

I was sitting in one of the large chairs we had, looking into the fire in the fireplace and lost in my own thoughts. He appeared and gave me a hot cup of coffee. He sat on my lap and curled up on me, resting his cheek on my left shoulder and kissed my neck gently. He talked about how beautiful the Villa was. My parents were busy picking a student for the following summer. He had seen them do this the year before.

“Avez tu déjà eu une liaison amoureuse avec l’un d’entre eux?” He chuckled as he asked me playfully if I had even had a love affair with any of them.

My chest felt tight. I could lie and say no. But why should I? It didn’t matter anymore anyway. He was long gone and married.

“Juste un,” I said with a shrug.

He lifted his head surprised. “Était-ce l’amour?” He asked me if it was love. I just nodded and kept drinking my coffee.

It was as if a switch had been flipped. The rest of our time there I did nothing but think of him. I remember the phone call from three years ago. I hated that I could recall it as if it was yesterday. I remember every single word and emotion. That was the final nail to the coffin, that conversation. I thought though, it was fine that I was feeling this. I had someone who loved me and who I loved back and everything would be ok.

On the day before we were supposed to leave my mother and Édouard went into town to spend some time together. I found my father in his study. 

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey son,” he said taking off his glasses and throwing his paper work to the side. I went and sat beside him on the couch. “How are you?”

“Good,” I said smiling at him.

He nodded and patted my knee. “Édouard is a fine young man. He is very much in love with you,” he said with a happy smile on his face.

I nodded and took a deep breath in and out looking up at the ceiling. “Have you heard from Oliver lately?” I looked at my father’s face.

I could tell he was surprised I was asking. I was half surprised myself but in the last few days I had gotten curious. I knew my father would never just divulge any information to do with Oliver unless I asked. “Yes. He’s doing well.”

“He’s teaching now?”

“Yes, teaching Philosophy at UCLA.”

That surprised me. I remember him talking about New England. “California?” My father nodded. “Why California?” I asked.

“Well, his wife is from there.” My father answered me. 

Wife. Of course. I spent the rest of the afternoon imagining him and his fucking wife. It didn’t matter. I was with someone and in love, so it didn’t matter. That night, Édouard and I were in bed and he told me he wanted me. I remember fucking him roughly, rougher than usual. The release was great. If he could fuck his wife without even thinking of me, I could do the same. Fuck him. I was so angry and even angrier that he still affected me this much.

I remembered sitting up in bed and not being able to sleep. Édouard woke up sometime in the middle of the night and asked me what was wrong.

“Rien,” I said with a shrug. He knew when to leave me alone. He just nodded and wrapped his arms around me. I slid down on the bed and he cuddled close to me. That moment was the very first time in almost two years that I yearned for him. For his strong arms. I always felt protected in them.

 

Édouard and I had been back home a little over two weeks. I was laying in bed looking out the window. The day before had been miserable. I couldn’t get him out of my head. I had bought several notepads and I had spent the whole day writing and writing and writing. I was tired physically and emotionally drained. I laid there all day. Édouard was worried I was sick since I hadn’t eaten all day.

I had cried myself to sleep that night. I hadn’t done that in such a long time. I knew Édouard would be worried. He wrapped his arms around me and had tried to comfort me. I was beyond that. I felt myself slipping away and falling again into that dark abyss where the only one who could save me was Oliver. Was this to be my life forever? Even with someone like Édouard by my side and giving me all his love and attention, the slightest mention of Oliver’s name and I fell apart? After many tears my exhausted body gave in to sleep.

 

It was the end of May of ‘87. It was a beautiful Saturday morning. Édouard and I were in the cafe for breakfast. I had come to peace with what I was about to do. In the last few months my feelings had shifted. When Édouard talked about the future, I wasn’t sure anymore. I tried to nod and agree for a while but it became harder. Then the day came when it didn’t feel fair for him anymore. He had to known. I took in the sunlight. I looked into his beautiful brown eyes.

“Je pense que nous devrions voir d’autres personnes.” I said softly, I think we should see other people. I took a deep breath in and out. 

He stared at me. He must have felt it, my distance, and known. He didn’t look completely surprised but he started to cry. He didn’t fight it though, that’s not who he was. He just cried quietly. He told me he loved me and I told him I knew and loved him too but that the future wasn’t so clear to me anymore.

He said maybe I just needed some time alone. To just take time for myself and maybe we could see how things were in six months. I told him I didn’t want to make empty promises, he didn’t deserve that. He nodded and said ok. I went home for the summer. When I told my parents I had broken up with Édouard my father looked sad about it. He approached me later and asked me if I wanted to talk about him. I told him he and I had just drifted apart.

 

* * *

 

I took a deep breath in and out. I felt Oliver stirring. He groaned a little as he started to stretch. I turned to face him. I kissed his neck.

“Morning, baby,” I whispered in his ear as I kissed his neck a little more. I could never want or love anyone as much I loved and wanted him.

“Good morning, my love,” he said. He stretched and I rubbed his chest. “How did you sleep?” 

“Good, while I was actually sleeping,” I said, propping myself up on my left elbow. “I woke up a little earlier but I’m ok.”

“Ok,” he said looking up at me. I leaned down and kissed him.

We got up a moment later and made our way to the kitchen and he started making breakfast. Valerie came out a moment later.

“Good morning, how are you feeling?” I asked her.

“Good, thank you,” she said yawning.

We started chatting and she mentioned she was wanting to go look at apartments today. She had two she was thinking of looking at.

“Hey! Wow. Why didn’t I think of this before?” Oliver said. “Lidia’s husband owns several rental properties. Maybe I can call him and see if he has anything available?” He asked. 

I looked at Valerie. “Yes! Ok!” She said.

Oliver walked to the phone and called Lidia at home. “Lidia! It’s Oliver. How are you? Listen I have a good friend that is looking for a place to rent. Does your husband have anything available?”

He was quiet for a while. A happy smile spread across his face. “A two bedroom? Yes! That’s perfect. Could we see it today?” He looked at us. “That sounds great let me write it down.”

Valerie got up and ran to the living room to get a pen and paper and brought it to him. He jotted down an address.

“Great. Yeah in about an hour and half?” Great see you then.” He hung up. “He has a two bedroom townhome close to Westwood Village,” he said. “What do you say?” 

“That’s great. That’s super close by,” I said.

“And very close to campus,” she said nodding.

After we all ate we dressed and made our way to the townhome. It was in a gated community, which I liked. It wasn’t even a ten minute drive from my place. Lidia’s husband, Lester was waiting for us outside. We got out and shook hands.

We walked inside. The place was small but nice. It has a nice living room space with a kitchen and dining area and a half bathroom. There were two bedrooms upstairs and a full bath. He said he had just someone move out unexpectedly and hadn’t even posted it yet.

I looked at Valerie. “Do you like it?”

“I do, it’s nice.” She said looking happy. “How soon could I move in?” She asked Lester. 

“Well, give me a week to shampoo the carpets and refresh the paint,” he said. 

“Perfect!” She said. “I’ll be out of school then!”

“Great!” I said. I looked at Oliver. He nodded.

I gave Lester a check for the first month rent and deposit and we thanked him and got in the car and made our way back home. 

“I’ll pay you back,” Valerie said from the backseat.

“Well, I want to help,” I said as I drove home.

“I know, but you know I have the money for rent,” she said. We pulled into the drive way. “How about if it’s for the baby, you can buy whatever you want,” she said slowly.

I nodded. “But also I mean, I want to make sure you have everything you need.”

She gave me a warm smile. “I will and if I need something I’ll make sure I tell you,” she said.

“Ok, sounds like a deal,” I said. We walked inside the house. “What should we eat for lunch?” I asked. 

Oliver laughed, “I was thinking the same thing.” 

“Should we go out?” I asked. 

“We could,” Oliver said looking at Valerie. 

“You both could!” Valerie said. “I can order a pizza. So, both of you, please! Go and have fun!” She hugged us both and walked to her room. 

I looked at Oliver. “Well, it’s actually lunch time, so how about we go somewhere?”

“You got a place in mind?” He asked me. 

“I do,” I said with a smile. “It’s a bit of a drive but I’ve been wanting to go there,” I said. 

“Anywhere you want, my love.” Oliver replied.

  

We got in the car and I started the long drive. Oliver put the radio. Queen came on.

“This is my favorite song of theirs,” I said. 

“Is it?” He asked. I nodded.

I started singing. “I'm burnin' through the sky yeah, two hundred degrees that’s why they call me Mister Fahrenheit! I'm trav'ling at the speed of light I wanna make a supersonic man out of you!” 

Oliver laughed and started singing along with me.

  

We finally reached the sea food place we had come to a couple of years ago.

“Do you remember the last time we were here?” I asked Oliver as we stepped out of the car.

“Yes. It was the day you brought up my birthday and we...” he trailed off. 

“You can say it, Oliver. We fought,” I said giving him a small smile.

“Yes,” he said quietly.

“Yes. So it’s a lovely restaurant and I only want to have good memories of it,” I said as we walked in.

“Table for two gentlemen?” The hostess asked.

“Yes, please,” I said. We got walked inside to a booth. I sat down close to Oliver and opened my menu. “So now, we are here to celebrate us.” I said looking into his beautiful blue eyes. 

“To us and to fatherhood,” he said quietly. He looked at me in the most loving way. I felt myself melt.

“To fatherhood,” I said. 

“You will be the most amazing father and I will be right beside you every step of the way,” he said softly. 

“As it should be,” I said.

 “As it will be,” he replied. We looked at each other. “I’m so in love with you,” he said.

“And I with you, baby,” I said.

“May I start you off with a drink, gentlemen?” The waiter came and asked. We were brought out of our moment.

“Let’s start with some wine,” I said.

“As you wish,” Oliver replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed!!  
> Hugs <3


	30. Doing Nothing Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy my lovelies! Little bit of a flash back at the end ;)  
> HUGS <3
> 
> And again: shout out to TheCosmicFragments for the Italian! You’re a rockstar girl <3

Lunch had been wonderful. We were driving back home. Oliver turned the radio in again and Elton John came on. 

“Hold me closer tiny dancer! Count the headlights on the highway! Lay me down on sheets of linen, you had a busy day today!”

I held his hand the whole time I drove home. “What do you want to do once we get home?” I asked him.

“I don’t know,” he said. I laughed. “What’s so funny?” He asked.

“It’s just amazing that we are living together and we don’t even know what we want to do. We can just do nothing together now,” I said. 

“It’s amazing isn’t?”

I glanced at him. “It’s beyond amazing,” I said.

We listened to the radio more and sang along to songs we liked as we drove home. We finally made it home at almost 4 pm.

We found Valerie in the kitchen reading and eating pizza. “Hey!” She waved at us as we walked in. 

“Hey!” I said. “How’s the pizza?”

“So good! It has pineapples!” She said. I laughed. “Once I’m done eating I’m gonna go to Kim’s and stay overnight. I’m gonna call and make an appointment tomorrow though. You’re free tomorrow and Tuesday?”

“Yes,” I said. “If they can squeeze you in tomorrow that would be great.”

“Ok,” she said nodding.

I walked out of the kitchen and down the hallway to the bedroom. Oliver was in there changing. I walked in and took out some shorts to put on.

“We’re gonna need a bigger house,” I said as I changed.

“Yeah we’re gonna be a family of five,” he said, he had already changed into some jogging pants and a tee shirt. I couldn’t help but grin. “Or six if twins run in her family. Have you asked her?”

“No!” I said staring at Oliver. He chuckled.

He walked over to me and held me. “You’re so cute,” he said. He kissed my nose. I kissed him back and held him tight, rubbing his back. We walked out of the bedroom and into the living room. “Do you want to play me some music while we do nothing today?” He asked me. 

“I would love to, baby,” I said. “Are you in the mood for classical or modern day?”

“Whatever you want to share with me,” he said.

“Ok guys I’m leaving!” Came Valerie’s voice.

“Call me when you get there please,” I said.

“Will do. Have a good night.”

“Thanks you too!” Oliver and I said together and with that she was gone.

I went to my vinyl collection and started looking through. I felt Oliver beside me, we sat down on the floor together. We glanced at each other and he leaned over and kissed me. “If this is what doing nothing with you is like, I want to do it for the rest of my life,” he said.

“You will. We will,” I said softly. I watched as he grabbed some albums and started looking through them. “How much did you miss me while we were apart?” I asked him.

He took a deep breath in and looked up at the ceiling, letting it out. “Fuck, so much.” He looked down and into my eyes. “I’d jog in the mornings and I’d replay the phone call in my head. I’d replay me asking you -“

“Do you mind?” I whispered.

He nodded. I could see the pain in his eyes. “I hated myself, _hated myself_ for asking you that.”

“And I hated myself for not answering it honestly,” I said.

He shook his head. “It wasn’t your fault. I put you in a horrible spot,” he said.

“It’s ok,” I whispered.

“I’d even dream about it. About me asking you, but it wasn’t always on the phone,” he told me.

I turned my body to him a bit more. “Really? What would you dream?”

“The most common was I’d be riding my bike in the dark streets of LA and suddenly I’d see this warm beautiful light ahead. I’d close my eyes and when I’d open them we were on our bikes in Italy. You were taking me to your spot. And then we’d be laying on the grass, sun on our faces. You’d say -“

“I love this Oliver,” I said.

“Yes,” he said taking my hand. “Yes. And I’d lean over and touch your beautiful lips,” he said softly. At this moment he leaned and traced my lips with his fingers. I leaned in and kissed him. I climbed on top of him, he leaned back on the floor. I laid my body on his.

“Then?” 

“Then I asked, ‘do you mind?’ and you’d say yes and run away from me. I’d try to chase you but I only ran in circles.”

“You never kissed me in the dream, baby?” I asked him giving him a soft kiss on the lips.

“No,” he replied softly, sounding sad.

“My poor baby,” I said and kissed him again. I let my lips linger on his longer. I felt his hands slide up my body and press and massage the skin on my back. I propped myself up and looked down at him. “Well from now on you don’t ever have to worry about not being kissed by me,” I said leaning down and kissing him again. I took my time and enjoyed it.

“God, your lips,” he breathed out, almost moaning. 

This made me laugh softly as I kept planting soft little kisses on his lips. Some were long, some little pecks. I gave his top lip a small lick and I felt him shudder. I propped myself up and looked down at him again. He had his eyes closed. His face was so relaxed and content. I kissed him more. I wanted to keep kissing him forever.

 

“Ok, my favorite Talking Heads song,” I said as I put the vinyl on. Oliver laughed, he had his hands on his hips. “We’re dancing to it by the way,” I said looking at him and raising my eye brows.

“Fine with me,” he said with a nonchalant shrug. I laughed and shook my head. I put the song on.

The music started. I closed my eyes and started moving my body along with the music. I suddenly felt Oliver’s hands on my hips. “I love how you move your hips,” he said.

“I’m just a good dancer,” I said grinning at him.

“You’re good at everything,” he said dancing along with me.

The chorus came and I started singing. “Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down. Letting the days go by, water flowing underground. Into the blue again after the money's gone. Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground!”

Oliver laughed. “You had a Talking Heads shirt when we first kissed. 

“I did,” I said raising my arms moving my hips against him along with the pace of the song. “So where you trying to make me jealous that night when you were dancing and making out with Chiara?” Oliver’s eyes met mine. He seemed to hesitate a moment. “Baby, we’re past the point of wondering how we should answer each other’s questions,” I said as I kept dancing.

“No, its not that,” Oliver said. He looked down at me as I danced. He pulled me even closer to him. I happily pressed my body up against his as I kept dancing. I hummed along with the chorus when it came back on. “It was a 50/50 thing. I was trying to not focus on you because I wanted to be dancing with you and then as the night progressed, yeah, I think I wanted to see how you’d react,” he said. His face was so close to mine.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said dancing along with me. He looked down at my lips. He kissed me. “Did it work?” He asked laughing.

I laughed back. “Maybe,” I said wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him again. I then turned around and kept dancing close to him. The song was ending. Once it had ended I walked over to the record player. “Man I love that song,” I said.

I knew what I wanted to play next. I took off the album and reached for another one. I felt Oliver come from behind me and wrap his arms around my waist. “What are you playing for me now?”

“Another awesome song,” I said. I put the track on. The sound of the electric guitar filled the living room. I turned around and grinned at him. He grinned at me. We started singing.

“Friends say it's fine, friends say it's good, everybody says it's just like rock and roll!” I swung my head from side to side along with the guitar. “I move like a cat, charge like a ram, sting like a bee, babe I want to be your man!” I shook my body up against his. “Well it's plain to see you were meant for me, yeah, I'm your boy, your 20th century toy.”

I kept dancing up against him as I kept singing. He grabbed me and started kissing my neck. “God you’re so sexy!” He said.

“How sexy?” I asked pulling away slightly.

“So fucking much,” he said panting. I loved how turned on he looked. I reached into his pants and took him in my hand. He was already semi hard. I stroked him a couple of times and he was fully erect. I bit his chin as I stroked him. I pressed my thumb to his tip, wetting it and started rubbing it in circular motions. I watched as he tilted his head back a bit, he closed his eyes and groaned. He was so hard. 

I continued stroking, taking in his moans and groans. “Don’t come until I say, baby,” I told him. He opened his eyes and looked into mine. He looked at me for a moment. I know he was taking in what I had just said. “Don’t come until I say,” I whisper again as I looked into his eyes. He nodded. I felt such a rush. I loved when he submitted to me.

I started stroking him a bit faster. He slid his left hand up the back of my head and curled his fingers in my hair. He leaned his forehead on mine. I took my time stroking him. I slid my fingers up and down the whole length of his erection. I’d slide my fingers over his tip and spreading his precum all over his erection.

“How good is this baby?” I asked him.

“So good,” he breathed out moaning. He leaned into me. I loved how he was doing this, leaning into me, giving himself to me, letting me be in control of him, his body, his orgasm. He was getting close.

“Remember to wait, baby. Wait until I say you can.”

“Yes,” he said softly. He let out a ragged breath. I saw his brow furrow. He was concentrating, I could tell.

“You’re so amazing, Oliver. So incredible.” I stroked faster. I didn’t want this to be uncomfortable, I wanted him to enjoy this. I paid attention to his moans and how tense he was. “Are you close?” 

“Yes,” he panted. His lips were close to mine.

I stroked him quickly. He was almost there. His moans were intense. “Come for me,” I said. 

I felt his release rush into my hand, warm and viscous. I loved it. I held him and kissed his neck. I still had my fingers wrapped around him. I felt him start to soften. He straightened and blinked as he looked into my eyes. I slid my hand out of his pants. I licked my index finger clean. I slid my middle finger into his mouth. He licked it clean. I wrapped my clean hand around the back of his neck and pulled him to me and kissed him deeply, sliding my tongue inside of his mouth, it still had some of his semen on it. When he finally pulled apart, he leaned into me again.

He left out a soft laugh, his whole body shook. “Fuck, Elio,” he said softly.

“What?” I asked as I held him.

“You...” he trailed off. He swallowed. “I can’t even describe what you do to me.” He said. I kissed him.

I took his hand and led him down the hallway to the bedroom. Once we stepped inside, I faced him and said, “Undress and go get on the bed baby, on your hands and knees.”

I watched as he undressed and got in the bed. I slipped off my shorts, cleaned my hand off with them and threw them in the floor. I grabbed the lube from the bedside table. I got on the bed and kissed Oliver’s back.

“I’ll tell you what I do to your body,” I said softly as I rubbed his back. “I love your perfect body, it’s all mine and no one can please your body like I can.”

“No,” he said. “No one else can.”

I put lube on me. I loved seeing Oliver like this. I let him know. “Do you know how beautiful you are like this?” I asked him. “Ready and waiting,” I said.

“And wanting,” he said. 

“And wanting,” I repeated. I ran my hands over his lower back and down his ass. I squeezed it and ran my hands down the back of his thighs. I ran them back up and with my right hand I put my head just inside of him. I slid in. “You feel so good,” I said.

I started sliding in and out. “I want to please you,” I heard him say as he got down on his elbows. I started thrusting in and out slow but forceful.

“You will please me, baby,” I said as I found my rhythm. I loved the sound of my skin coming into contact with his as I fucked him. I moaned as waves of ecstasy started washing over my body. “You are going to please me as long as I want you to,” I said.

“Yes,” he said. “Yes.”

I closed my eyes and let myself go. I gave in to all my desires and didn’t hold back. I made selfish love to him. “You were made to please me, weren’t you?”

“Yes,” he said panting and moaning. “I was made to please only you.”

I loved hearing him like this. I couldn’t help but grin at this. My heart was pounding in my chest, racing, going a million miles an hour. I slowed my pace and focused on thrusting in as deep as I could. I felt goosebumps on my skin as the pleasure spread through my body.

“Fuck baby, yes,” I grunted as I kept thrusting in deep. He moaned and whimpered. I thrusted in harder. I looked down at his beautiful body. It was shaking underneath me. I picked up my speed. I was getting closer to climax. “Open your legs wider,”instructed him. He did as instructed him. “Oliver,” I moaned.

I grabbed a hold of his hips and went hard and fast again. I watched as he grabbed the sheets and the edge of the mattress and pressed his face down on the pillow. I watched his face as it glistened with sweat and his brow furrowed. I couldn’t get deep enough, I couldn’t fuck him hard enough. The sound of my skin slapping his was intoxicating as well. This was so good. Too good. Even I was surprised with the force with which I came. I grunted loudly and he cried out as I thrusted in deep. I stayed in deep and pushed myself inside, keeping myself deep inside him until I finished. I collapsed on top of him as he collapsed on the bed.

I was panting and kissing his back, rubbing his skin tenderly. “Thank you baby,” I said. “Thank you for giving yourself to me liken this. It’s amazing. So amazing.” I felt so happy. My heart felt so content. I felt such pleasure and joy.

I finally pulled out and laid down beside him. I pulled him into my arms and held him tight. After a moment we both fell sleep.

 

* * *

 

I woke up a while later. Oliver was holding me tight. I loved how he did this. His nose was right behind my left ear and I could feel his breath on my neck. I took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. 

I thought back to my life leading up to the last couple of years before I saw him again.

 

I went back to the Conservatorio fall of ‘87. I needed some books and I went to a local book shop which always had everything I needed. I knew the owner.

“Buongiorno! Giacomo, ci sei?” I called out, asking if he was there.

“Buongiorno! Mi dispiace ma Giacomo non c’è. Posso aiutarti?” Came a female voice from the back. Apparently he wasn’t. She wanted to know if she could help me. 

I stopped and looked, taking off my sunglasses. Out came a woman, she looked to be in her late twenties. She was beautiful. Shoulder length black hair, beautiful medium tanned skin and dark, dark eyes. I looked at her. She didn’t look Italian.

“Sei italiana?” I asked.

“No, vengo dalla Spagna,” she relied. “Do you speak English?” She asked.

“Yes,” I said chuckling as I nodded.

“I’m Isabela.”

“Elio,” I said, sticking my hand out. She took it and shook it, pleasant smile on her face. “I come here quite often. You’re new?”

“I am. I’m passing by, so to speak.” She had a lovely Spanish accent. She was breathtaking.

“You work here? You know Giacomo well?” I suddenly wondered if she was his lover. I had never inquired about his family or a wife or anything.

She let out a pleasant laugh. “I do work here, yes, but I only met Giacomo about a month ago. While passing by I need to eat and live somewhere and I love books so this made perfect sense to me.”

“Passing by?”

“I’m staying... for a while.” She gave me a playful smile.

I grinned back. I was drawn in instantly. I stood up a bit more straight. I know I always slouched. I squared my shoulders. “Giacomo usually closes for lunch,” I said. “Would you like to have lunch with me?”

She looked a little surprised and opened her mouth, as if to speak but closed it again. She looked at me intently. She was trying to make up her mind.

“I had ordered a copy of Dante’s Divine Comedy. Has Giacomo gotten it yet?” I asked. I didn’t want her to say no right away.

“Let me check,” she said and walked back the way she came.

I looked around. I wanted her to have lunch with me. I had never seen a more beautiful woman my whole life. I had to convince her. 

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t see one back there. Did he tell you it would come by today?”

I turned to see her again. “He never said exactly he said hopefully by today,” I said shrugging. “Anyway, about that lunch...” I trailed off.

She put her left hand on her hip. She was looking at me with an amused look in her face and that playful smile again. “Si?”

I smiled widely at her. “It would be an absolute pleasure if you joined me for lunch, Isabela,” I said.

“I am impressed. I think you went from boy to man in less than ten seconds,” she said.

“So that’s a ‘si’ then?”

“Ok. Si! Let me get my purse,” she said. She again disappeared and came back again. She stepped out from behind the counter. Her figure was just as lovely. She had a knee length red dress with white polka dots. It button up in the front. I walked ahead and opened the front door. She turned the shop sign and we stepped out, she locked the door.

“Where are we going?” She asked. She took a pair of sunglasses from her purse and put them on.

“To a little cafe close by,” I said to her.

“Lead the way,” she said. I did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs in this chapter are Elton John: Tiny Dancer, Talking Heads Once In A Lifetime and 20th Century Boy by T-Rex but I love the cover by Placebo!  
> Enjoy!  
> Hugs <3


	31. Finding My Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!  
> MAJOR flashback action, we see Elio beginning to see life in a different way!  
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Shout out to my girl: TheCosmicFragments for the Italian music help and translation! You rock <3
> 
> And can I just say THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER for the kudos (over 500 as of this chapter) and ALL your absolutely wonderful comments that give me LIFE! 
> 
> You’re all awesome! Thank you!  
> Hugs <3

It started with that lunch. Isabela and I talked about so much. The one hour wasn’t enough. I asked if I could come by later. “We could have coffee,” I said.

“Oh, you know how to charm,” she said.

“Only if I want to,” I said laughing. I felt so cocky around her, I wanted to impress her, but her age intimidated me slightly. She was older and more experienced and I wanted to make sure I didn’t come off as juvenile. I had felt this way with Oliver as well. 

“The bookshop closes at 7,” she said.

“I’ll be there at 6:59.” 

She let out a beautiful laugh. “Ah! Ok!” She said as we parted ways. I grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. “Dios Mío!” She shook her head and let out her beautiful laugh again.

I couldn’t wait. This had been a most pleasant surprise. I busied myself for a few hours going around Rome and made my way back to the book shop. I arrived back at 6:45. I waited excitedly outside the bookshop and at 6:55 made my way in. She was talking to a gentleman showing him some books. 

“This is the first edition, printed in 1875,” she said to him with a smile. She saw me walk in and her smile widened. That made me so happy.

Finally the customer left and she was able to lock up. I took her to a nearby restaurant. It had a beautiful rooftop terrace. I sat and admired her as she looked at the menu.

“It is rude to stare, Elio,” she said without looking up.

“Depends,” I said. “When viewing a beautiful work of art, it is impolite to _not_ stare.”

“A work of art?”

“You are. You’re as beautiful as one,” I said.

She let out her musical laugh again. “What am I going to do with you?” She asked, shaking her head. I lifted my eyebrows and opened my mouth. “No! Don’t answer that!” She said widening her eyes, laughing once again and placing her soft fingers on top of my mouth. I have them a gentle kiss.

 

I started seeing Isabela very frequently. We went out to eat and we got to know each other better. I told her about my parents, the Villa and life in France. She told me of Spain. She said she always loved the Italian culture and always dreamed of visiting.

“I married too young,” she said looking off in the distance. We were back to the restaurant with the rooftop terrace. “We just weren’t it. I could have stayed and suffered but what’s the fun in that?” She asked. “We divorced and I thought I’d finally come to Rome! I’m so happy.”

“How long will you stay?” I asked. 

“Don’t know yet,” she said with a shrug. “Who knows, I may travel and then come back before going back to Spain. Whatever my heart desires.”

She was fascinating. It was so easy to talk to her. For the first couple of months, all I did was kiss the back of her hand when we met up and when I said good bye. Of course I wanted her sexually, she was a stunning beauty, but I valued my time with her too much to try to push things in that direction and make her uncomfortable. I also wasn’t sure how she felt about the difference in our ages.

 

When November came she told me she was thinking of going to Spain to see her parents for Christmas. We were strolling around the Piazza Navona.

“Will you come back?” I asked.

“I am,” she said. She stopped and pulled on my arm. I stopped and turned to face her. “How old are you?”

“Does it matter?” I asked with a half smile.

“Si,” she said. 

“I’m about to turn 22 at the end of December,” I said. She nodded. “You?” I asked. 

She laughed. “You’re not supposed to ask a lady her age and weight,” she said.

“Yeah, but this is different,” I said.

“I will be 32 in March,” she said. I nodded. She looked about six years younger than that. “I live close to here. Why don’t you come up for a glass of wine?”

“I would love to,” I said. I had never once been to her place. I was excited but stayed outwardly calm. 

We walked to her apartment. It was small but quaint. I stepped inside. She went and put the radio on. Luigi Tenco, Mi Sono Innamorate De Ti came on. 

“So it’s only the beginning of November, when were you thinking of going to Spain?”

“For all of December,” she said. “I’ll be back the second week of January.” She handed me a glass of wine and we sat on her couch. 

I nodded and sipped. I took a look at her. She propped her right elbow on the back of the couch, head resting on her palm. She had curled her knees in. She looked beautiful in her jeans and yellow top. Her hair looked even darker. “You’re so beautiful,” I said. I couldn’t help myself.

She smiled and looked at me through her eyelashes. I liked this reaction. I put my glass down on her coffee table. I took her glass from her hands and put it beside mine. I slid closer to her and took her face in my hands. She looked up at me, eyes half close, pretty lips parted. “Elio,” she said quietly in her pretty Spanish accent, “I am not looking for a boyfriend.”

“Neither am I,” I said. She laughed. “Or a girlfriend,” I continued. “I understand, you’re passing by.” 

She nodded. I leaned down and kissed her. Her lips were so soft. I felt my heart race. We moved to her bedroom. I was so turned on. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life. I had been with girls, but not with a woman. It was amazing undressing her. I was so damn excited. I felt such a rush when I entered her. The way she gasped drove me crazy. It was over quite quickly. I laid on top of her panting. She was rubbing my back. After a moment I wanted to go again.

I started kissing her neck. “This time,” she said as she took my face in her hands and turned my face to face her, “I want you to follow my instructions.”

So I did. I lasted longer and made love to her the way she asked me to. She climaxed twice. It was almost like an out of body experience. Somehow, while taking direction from her I still felt in total control of her and us and all we were doing. The feeling of control was intoxicating. Édouard had always let me be in control, but there was something a bit more to it with Isabel. I felt she was yielding her control to me and I relished in the feeling of satisfaction it brought me and her. It made the sex even more incredible.

We laid in bed afterwards. “That was amazing,” I told her.

She laughed her musical laugh. “Yeah, I had forgotten the stamina a man your age has,” she said quietly. She reached over and caressed my face. “Why are you spending time with me and not chasing some young woman?” 

I looked at her. “Have you seen yourself? There is no other woman more beautiful in Italy right now!” I said with a smile. She laughed. “I love your company. I feel... more grown up with you.” I said. It was the truth. There was something about her that made me want to BE more grown up. I knew she didn’t have time for juvenile behavior.

She sat up in bed, wrapping the bed sheet around her chest. “Well, you’re very mature.”

I shook my head. “It’s you.”

“Maybe, but it’s also you. Why are you putting yourself down?” I looked at her quickly. Oliver had said something similar. She looked at me. “Did I said something wrong?”

“No.” I said quickly.

“Hmm... What is it?”

“Nothing,” I said. I didn’t want to talk about Oliver. Did I? No. Not now.

“Do you want to spend the night?” She asked. 

I looked at her surprised. “I would love to,” I said.

 

The rest of November was spent with us going to restaurants and out dancing. She taught me a lot more, both in bed and emotionally. She had such a calmness about her and there was never any judgment in her when we spoke and when I shared my thoughts and feelings with her about anything. I was sad when December creeped closer but it was something I knew and I was prepared. She helped me prepare. In relaxed moments, sometimes in bed or as we strolled along looking at shops, she would hold my hand or caress me and mention quietly about her upcoming month in Spain. It made her departure less jarring. Then the day came when she had to leave, but I was at peace with it. Half of me wondered if she would really come back.

 That December I was introduced to the conductor and asked to visit California. It felt like a dream. Oliver flooded my thoughts and dreams. I took to writing in my notepads again.

Isabela had written to me and had sent me a Christmas card. We had spoken on the phone a few times too. Two days before she was due to return I spoke to her and told her I’d pick her up at the airport. I couldn’t wait to see her.

The day of, January 11, 1988, I was very happy and excited. It was great to see her again. I picked her up and drove her to her apartment. We had a wonderful conversation and she told me all about Spain. She looked so happy talking to me about it, I actually wondered why she came back to Italy. I didn’t say or ask though. She had her reasons.

“Tell me, how was your holiday?” She asked once she had filled me in on all she had done.

I took a deep breath. I wanted to tell her. I was nervous. She took my hands in hers and massaged them slowly. She had done this a few times before and it made the overwhelming emotions seem not so overwhelming when I spoke. “This thing you do with your hands, it’s so calming.” I whispered.

“Only because you accept it. But we are comfortable with each other and I care for you and I believe it comes through. Honest feelings always come through, I think.” She said with a lovely smile.

I nodded at her. “It’s calming. It calms my mind.”

“Good. I didn’t know your December had been so emotional,” she said quietly. I loved how her Spanish accent made everything sound like a soft melody, or maybe it was just her. 

I nodded. I opened up and told her. Everything. From meeting Oliver to him leaving. I expressed my thoughts of why he left. I felt some tears but I wiped them quickly.

“Why leave a life for some stupid seventeen year old Italian kid?” I said.

I continued with my heartbreak and all the crying. The notepads. Alessandra. Édouard.

“It seems the moment I talk of him, the relationship is over. I’m so pathetic,” I said. I looked at her. She still had my hands in hers.

“Elio, no. You are not pathetic,” she said looking into my eyes. “The feelings you had,  _have_ , are so deep. Obviously no one compares which is why you leave them.”

“What good does it do me?” I said.

“Don’t think of it that way,” she said. “Everything that happens to you makes you who you are. That summer with Oliver helped shape who you are today.”

I shook my head. “Yeah I know, but it doesn’t make it any less painful.” 

“Elio,” she said sweetly. “It’s not about that. Let yourself be in pain, that’s ok.”

I nodded. “Ok,” I said. I know I didn’t sound convincing. She looked at me. “Say whatever you want,” I said to her. “I respect you and will respect anything you have to say.”

“You need to complete yourself,” she said. I looked at her surprised. “Even if Oliver is your soul mate, you still need to complete yourself and be whole and not missing anything alone. If things happen to work out with Oliver or with anyone, it’ll be like the icing on the cake, but you have to feel complete alone, without him.”

“What if I can’t?” I asked.

“Well you’ll never think you can if you don’t first believe you can,” she said. She wrapped her arms around me. “I’m not saying life will be perfect always and forever, there is always ups and downs, but I want you to see you can be you, whole you, complete you, because if you never again...”

“Yes,” I knew what she meant.

“I don’t want you to be filled with sadness forever. Or to shut off everyone forever. You deserve happiness.” She sighed.

I nodded. I knew she was right but I was emotionally spent for the day. “I can’t.. um can we maybe..” I trailed off.

“Yes. Yes. I’m hungry anyway and kind of tired she said caressing my hair. 

“Can I stay here tonight?” I asked her.

“Of course,” she said, kissing my cheek. I fell into her arms.

 

* * *

 

 I turned and pulled Oliver closer to me. The sun had began to set as we had fallen sleep. I caressed his hair and kissed his forehead. I was beginning to get a little hungry.

I ran my hand up and down his left arm. I felt him stirring awake. He pulled me close to him. I chuckled. I don’t think we could get any closer now. I felt his soft kisses on my left shoulder. He rubbed his nose in my skin. He ran his left palm over my chest and stomach.

“I’m getting a little hungry,” he said.

“Me too,” I said.

He propped himself up. “Want me to cook you something?” He asked me. 

“Yes, please,” I said looking up at him. “I love when you cook for me. It’s like I can feel your love in the food,” I whispered. 

He smiled at me and squeezed me. “Yes, my love. That is so true!” He smothered me with kisses. 

We got up and slipped some pants on and walked to the kitchen. I watched Oliver and chatted with him as he cooked. He let me taste things and I helped him chop and stir and I rinsed the bowls and dishes as he cooked. I felt so happy.

I went and wrapped my arms around him, kissing along his bare back and shoulders. I ran my hands along his skin.

We sat down and ate dinner. It was delicious as always.

“This is so good,” I said. “Thank you.” I leaned in and kissed him. We held hands as we ate and talked. I gazed at his blue eyes and blond hair. I loved how he tilted his head when he was telling a funny story. I loved how he looked at me to see my reaction to what he was saying.

When we were done eating we washed the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. We made our way to the living room.

“How about a song in Italian?” I asked softly glancing his way.

“Yeah! I’d love to hear it,” he said.

I went and looked through my vinyl records. I found the song I was thinking of and put it on. “It’s called Mi Sono Innamorato Di Te,” I said. 

I saw Oliver furrow his brow and repeat what I said. I smiled. “I fell in love with you?” I nodded.

I sat beside him on the couch and Oliver wrapped his arms around me as we listened. I kissed along his neck and sang along softly until it was over. “Did you like it?”

He nodded and kissed me. “I liked how it sounded. What did he say?”

I thought about it. “I fell in love with you because I didn’t have anything to do during the day. I wanted someone to spend time with during the night. I wanted something to dream about. I fell in love with you because I couldn’t be alone anymore during the day. I wanted to talk about my dreams during the night. I wanted to talk about love, and now that I have thousands of things to do I feel my dreams fading away. I cannot do anything else than think about you. I fell in love with you and now I don’t even know what to do during the day. I regret having met you. During the night I come looking for you.” I looked at him.

“I bet there was a time in your life you regretted meeting me,” he said caressing my hair. His eyes looked slightly sorrowful. I took a deep breath in and out and looked at him.

I shook my head, “Like everything in those notepads, it was just the journey my life took for me to be the me I am today. To be the man I am today. It’ll make me the father I will be,” I said. “Ships are meant to be sailed right? Life is meant to be lived. Whatever happens, good or bad, it’s just part of the journey.”

I looked back at Oliver’s eyes. “I want to be you when I grow up.” He said. I laughed. He pulled me onto him and kissed me deeply. “I’m so in awe of you,” he said pulling me down and holding me tight.

I couldn’t be happier. My heart felt full.


	32. Becoming Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio’s emotional journey continues...  
> Enjoy my lovelies!  
> Hugs <3
> 
> Thank you again TheCosmicFragments for the Italian music and the translations!  
> You ROCK! <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beautiful song in this chapter is Mi Manchi (I Miss You) by Fausto Leali. 
> 
> This is a translation of the lyrics:
> 
> I miss you  
> When the sun goes hand in hand with the horizon  
> When the darkness shuts out  
> Other people’s noise  
> Tiredness that does not go away  
> Like something that still belongs to me  
> I miss you  
> In your looks and your reckless smiles  
> In the depth of all your “probably”  
> You’re the knot in my throat  
> A knot I cannot undo  
> It’s you, you  
> I miss you, I miss you  
> I can pretend to be okay  
> But I miss you  
> Now I understand  
> Having you next to me before falling asleep  
> While I walk barefoot in my soul  
> I miss you  
> And I could look for somebody else  
> But I would only fool myself  
> You’re my endless regret  
> My cold mornings  
> When I look around and I feel that I miss you  
> Now that I can give you a little more  
> It’s you, you  
> I miss you  
> I could find somebody else  
> But I would only fool myself  
> You’re my endless regret  
> My cold mornings  
> When I look around and I feel that I miss you

Monday at about 10:30 am Valerie called and told me she had made an appointment for 2:00 pm and gave me the doctor’s address. I told her I’d see her there. 

Oliver was showering. I was in the kitchen waiting for the lasagna Oliver and I had made to be done. He walked into the kitchen as the lasagna was done and as I was taking it out of the oven. I serve us and took the plates to the dining table. He was seeing Dr. Jackson for his lone session at 1:30 so he had to leave no later than 12:30. I told him about Valerie calling.

“So what happens in the first appointment?” I asked Oliver. He had done this twice before.

“They’ll give you a due date. Later on she’ll have a sonogram and then they’ll see if the date needs to change or not,” he said.

A due date. Wow. “Ok!” I said. I was feeling a bit anxious.

He reached over and squeezed my hand. He caressed it the way I’d caress his when I wanted to calm him down. I very quickly felt warm inside. I looked into his eyes. He had a tender smile on his face. “It’ll be ok, my love.”

“Yes,” I said nodding at him. He was right. It would be. I felt instantly calmer.

“Well, we’ll see who makes it home first.” I said. 

Once it was time for him to go, I hugged and kissed him and told him to drive safe. I walked back to the living room. I put the same song on from last night that I played to Oliver. My mind wondered back to ‘88.

 

* * *

 

I had missed Isabela. It was probably two weeks since she had been back before we slept together again. I had been busy with school she had gotten a job at a library and so we saw each other a bit less. I’d call and check up on her though. 

When we finally had a whole weekend at her apartment I unleashed myself and let myself go in bed. Apart from taking more control, I’d instruct her in how I wanted her positioned and what I wanted her to do. I felt the confidence to do it and she responded well. She seemed to enjoy it. I had so much respect and fondness for her, and her again, submitting to me, was just incredible. It was something I found I truly enjoyed.

 

“So have you thought about what I said, about completing yourself?” She asked me as we sat in bed afterwards.

“Yes,” I said to her. I had. “I accept what happened, accept the pain. It’s ok if it hurts and if it hurts forever. It’s ok if I’m never quite over him, but I need to live each day regardless. I need to not let everything go because the melancholy of him creeps up,” I said. 

“Si!” She wrapped her arms around me. “Now... I know we’re months away but... will you seek him out in LA?”

“I don’t know. Actually, I don’t want to decide until I’m on the plane or there. There is no point right now. I’m only going to focus on my piano playing and composing.”

“Ok, I will respect that and not ask you again. If you wish to talk about it though, you know I’ll always listen. 

“Thank you,” I said. I glanced at her. I wanted to ask her something but wasn’t sure how.

“What is it?” She asked.

I chuckled. “How do you always know.”

She laughed. “I pay attention Elio. Us humans, we’re so emotional, even the ones that claim not to be. The body is an extension to all we feel. The eyes, your breathing, your hands, your heartbeat. Tapping of fingers or feet or bouncing of the knee. The body gives it all away. Now, not that you can just read body language from one day to the next but when it’s someone you get to know in an intimate way, you should be able to pick up when something is the matter. Well, hopefully you can, unless the other person is really working hard at hiding how they feel. But you need to be a student, learn and then act. It’s a many layered thing.” 

“Ok,” I said everything she was saying was making sense. I took everything she said in.

“But now, lets go back. You had something on your mind?”

I nodded. “I know I want to be more calm. I want to be in full control of myself. That will be imperative if I see him again,” I told her.

“Yes, I understand,” she said leaning back on the bed frame.

“It could go so many ways. He may see me and say hi and that be it. We could talk. He could also completely ignore me,” I said shrugging.

“Or he could give in and tell you he regrets everything,” she said.

“I don’t want to set myself up for disappointment,” I said. “All I know is I need to be in control of all my emotions. How do I do that?”

“By being comfortable in your skin and all you feel. Don’t be embarrassed of all you feel but learn to not just REACT to the feeling. You truly have to feel first, think second and THEN act third. It’s not easy Elio and it’s sometimes fucking impossible. You can’t control what life throws at you, you can only control how you react. Sometimes we have to stop and think in the worst of times.”

“Yes, I know,” I said.

“Also, listen to your gut. Your intuition. You’re so emotionally open, Elio. You feel so much but sometimes you don’t listen to your feelings or you listen _too_ much to your feelings. Also, I know you want to be considerate of others but, take care of you first. Including when it comes to Oliver! Learn to know when to take a step back and emotionally take care of yourself. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep him or anyone else warm.”

I nodded. “That’s so true,” I said to her. “Thank you.”

She wrapped her arms around me and kissed my cheek. We stayed in bed and talked a bit more and then she cooked some paella for us for dinner. She served me some food and we sat down and ate.

“So, how long were you thinking of staying this time?” I asked her.

“I’m staying all year. Well, maybe go back in December again. Maybe in the summer I can go a couple of weeks. Maybe you can come,” she said smiling at me.

“Really?” I asked.

“Would you want to?”

“I would _love_ to!” I said. The idea sounded amazing to me.

 

For Isabela’s birthday in March I took her to dinner and we went dancing. I bought her several vinyls of music she loved. Isabela and I never talked of what we were. Were we boyfriend/girlfriend or just really good friends with really good benefits? Who knows. We didn’t define us and we didn’t have to. We wanted to spend time together and did and the sex was incredible. But it was so much more than that. She was patient and wonderful and I enjoyed all my conversations with her.

I finished the second year of my Masters and true to her word she took me to Spain for two weeks in the summer. I had also decided to let my hair grow. I felt I looked better. I met Isabel’s parents and her grandmother as well. It was a wonderful time. 

When we came back to Italy, since I was out of school I was spending whatever days she was off from the library with her. The rest of the summer was a warm haze. The fall came and I started my final year at the Conservatorio. December loomed large. My anxiousness grew a little stronger every day.

 

September became October and October became November. Suddenly it was two weeks before I had to fly out to the states. I was a bundle of nerves. Thank god I had Isabela to lean on and distract me. I was spending the weekend at her place. 

“I’m nervous,” I said to her.

“I’m nervous for you,” she said.

“Do you think you’ll marry again Isabela?” I asked her.

She took a deep breath in and out. We were drinking coffee on her couch and she had the radio on. “I don’t know. There was a man I was very in love with when I was young. I was 18 when I met him and we had a couple of months together but he married someone else.”

“Did he love her?” I asked her.

“No. His mother made him marry her. Her family was rich. His wife’s father was from Chile and he had a huge business there. The last I heard he had moved there. The wife was the only child he had and I think he meant to leave the business to them.”

I nodded. “Your Oliver then.”

“Yeah. Mateo.”

“Was he good looking?” I asked.

She laughed and ran her hand through my hair. “Funny enough Elio, he was not as beautiful as you.” She said caressing my cheek. “He was shorter than you and his body also not as beautiful. But I loved him so much. He loved me too. A lot. But, I didn’t come from a rich family and his mother was very concerned with society and marrying him off well. So she did. Whether he wanted to or not.” 

I nodded. “Like being in love with a kid from Italy but needing to marry a woman to keep up appearances,” I said.

She nodded. “Did he ever mention his parents?” 

“Just that if his father knew about us he would send him to a correctional facility,” I told her with a shrug.

She sighed and shook her head. “But maybe the journey was meant to happen this way. Maybe the separation was needed so you two wouldn’t take it for granted,” she said. “Or maybe you two just didn’t meet at the right time. Maybe this December will be the right time.”

I laughed softly. “Who knows,” I said. My heart beat a little fast at the thought of that. I leaned back on the couch.

Isabel leaned against me. “You look very manly in that longer hair,” she told me. “Keep it like that. It suits you so much.” 

“I will,” I said. “I think it suits me too.”

I held her as Fausto Leali started playing on the radio. Isabela started singing along. She had a beautiful voice. So soothing. I closed my eyes.

“Mi manchi. Nei tuoi sguardi e in quel sorriso un po' incosciente, nelle scuse di quei tuoi probabilmente, sei quel nodo in gola che non scende giù. E tu, e tu.”

“Well, fuck,” I said, suddenly feeling emotional. 

“It’s speaking to both of us,” she said softly. 

“Mi manchi,” I said softly. 

“He missed you too,” she said.

“How do you know?” I asked her, rubbing the soft skin of her arm.

“Because we only have one soul mate. Mateo misses me as well,” she said. I leaned down and kissed her head. I suddenly had a crazy thought.

“Are you waiting for Mateo here?” I asked her.

She looked up at me and I looked down at her. “What made you ask that?” 

“You told me to trust my intuition,” I said.

“You’re too good,” she whispered.

“When are you waiting until?” 

“Just until next summer. Either he will be free or...” she couldn’t even finish the sentence.

“Then I hope he becomes free,” I said. “You’re too beautiful to pass up.”

“So are you!” She said laughing. “We both are.” 

“What’s wrong with us?” I asked her. She looked up at me again. “We’re pining for two men married to other people.”

“Other people they don’t love,” she said. 

“We should marry each other so they can shove it up their married asses. Fuck them both!” I said. She looked at me and we both burst out laughing.

“It shows how alike we are, you and I, Elio. We could have moved on. But we cling to each other because we are both in love with someone else and would jump to be with them the moment we could be.” 

“We know this now, but when we met we didn’t know all this,” I said. I thought back to the day we met.

She laughed. “Our souls knew of our heartache and maybe that connected us in a level we didn’t quite understand then but we know now,” she said. I liked that explanation.

“Do you think fate destines it all?” I asked her.

“Only some things. Some things are _meant_ to be. The rest is up to us,” she said. “Just because you meet your soulmate doesn’t mean that’s it. It can still get fucked up if you don’t nurture it.”

“So our other halves fucked up by marrying other people?”

“Forced by their parents to marry other people.” She said quietly.

“When was the last time you talked to Mateo?” I asked her.

“On the phone? Last year in December when I went to Spain. He called me,” she said.

“What did he say?” 

“To give him time,” she replied quietly.

“How much time?” I asked.

“I told him until the summer of ‘89,” she said quietly.

“Did he ask you to divorce your first husband?” I asked her. 

“No. That marriage was doomed no matter what. My conscience is clear of that.”

I nodded. I held her tight. “I think we were meant to meet to help each other heal,” I said softly. I felt her lean her head on my chest. I was surprised when I heard soft sniffling. I held her close and took her left hand with my right and massaged it softly as she had done with me so many times. I stayed calm. I was hoping my calmness would help her.

After a moment she let out a soft laugh. “And so the student becomes the master,” she said.

I chuckled. “It only helped because we are close,” I said. I held her a bit longer.

We finally decided to go to bed. I was very gentle and soft with her that night. It only felt right. She was so beautiful. When we finished she told me I had been perfect. It made me feel good to be able to give her that. I felt like an equal to her and suddenly realized I had been feeling like an equal for a while. I was happy about that. Relationships had to be equal give and take. It was the only way to be. It didn’t mean they had to be equal 50/50, it just meant you had to be ok with all your partner could give you and you had to know you were giving them all you could and all they needed. That was true with friendships, lovers and everything in between.

I was laying in bed, Isabela laying on my chest. I was looking out the window in the night sky. In two weeks I would be in LA. As I told Isabela, I’d make up my mind on the plane if I was going to seek him out or not.

I took a deep breath in and out. He may never leave his wife. He may not love me anymore. He may not care to see me. He may turn me away and tell me marrying his wife was the best thing that ever happened to him.

What would I do?

I’ll move on, I told myself.

Would I? Could I?

Yes, I told myself again.

A stillness came over me. I looked out at the night sky. I can still be me without Oliver, I thought. I’d prefer not to be, but, if that’s the hand I got dealt, I could deal, painfully but, I WOULD BE OK.

I slowly smiled to myself. I was ok. I was me. I was resilient. I was strong. He would be the icing on the cake, but I was me and I liked who I was. I could do this. I could go to LA and not be nervous, not be a fumbling 17 year old. I was a man now with some life experience. I had found me. Who knows, I thought with a smirk, maybe at the end of the day it would be him that would come to me, telling me he couldn’t live without me. What a thought!

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies!  
> Thank you all for letting me indulge in what I felt Elio’s emotional journey to becoming the strong, confident man we met in this story could have been!  
> By the way, that line: “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm” was something Armie said in an interview that was some of the best advice he had ever gotten. I thought it was wonderful too and thought it fit the moment!  
> I hope you have all enjoyed it so far!  
> HUGS <3


	33. Happy

_Elio_

 

I got in my car and drove to the doctor’s office. I stepped inside and looked around. Valerie hadn’t arrived yet. I took a seat and looked around. There were several pregnant ladies. Some ladies with their babies and a few couples. I rested my elbow on the arm rest of the chair. I rested my chin on my middle finger and thumb, my index finger up the side of my face. I took a deep breath in. I was ok. I was calm. I thought back of when I returned to Italy in January of ‘89.

 

* * *

 

When I returned to Italy from the States I called Isabela. All I told her was that it went better than expected. We met up a couple of weeks later.

“He looks so good,” I told her running my hands through my hair. “He felt so good.”

She smiled at me widely. “You have no idea how happy I am for you. I told you, he still loves you!” She said. “Did you discuss what happened? Why he left and married her?”

“Yeah,” I said nodding. “Yeah he laid it all out for me.” 

“Was that good? Was he honest?”

“Yeah he was. He just... doesn’t do well when it comes to sorting his emotions out. He’s a bit all over the place. He knows what he wants and doesn’t want but is so conditioned to doing the ‘right thing,’ the ‘proper’ thing that he looses himself in what’s expected of him.”

“That’s hard to deal with,” she said. “It’s hard sometimes to break that cycle.”

“He told me he would write but I’m nervous to write back. His wife could find my letter and open it.”

“I never worried about that,” Isabela said. “If his wife saw a letter I wrote him, he would just have to explain.”

I knew I couldn’t do that to Oliver. I wanted to protect him. “I also got asked to compose music. I have someone coming in February to listen to it. It’s for a documentary,” I said grinning at her. 

“Elio! I’m so proud of you!” She said hugging me. I hugged her back.

  

We got together a few more times but we didn’t sleep together. Our time together was just as fulfilling though.

Then it was March. Her birthday came around. We spent the day together and I took her to dinner and dancing like last year. I also bought her more records. We were in her apartment. It was almost 2 am and we were chatting on the couch.

“I have something to tell you,” she said. She looked happy.

“What is it?” I asked smiling at her.

“I’m going back to Spain,” she said softly.

“When?” I asked.

“Next week,” she said.

“So quick!” She nodded. “Mateo?” I asked.

“Yes. Mateo. He’ll be there too,” she said breathlessly. “He’s divorced. He left the family business. He is coming back. He’ll be there next week.”

“Holy shit! Wow!” I grabbed and held her. My heart was pounding for her. I was so happy for her. “God I’m so happy for you. So happy!”

“Thank you,” she said. We pulled apart. “Let’s hope this time we work it out properly,” she said.

“You will,” I told her.

“You and Oliver too. You’ll see,” she said.

“Well, I’m going back in June,” I told her. “The conductor offered me the job permanently!” I was so excited to tell her.

“Dios mío!” She said. “Why didn’t you tell me right away! That’s amazing!”

“It’s your birthday, your day,” I said. It suddenly sunk in that this may be the last time I saw her.

“I can drive you to the airport,” I said.

“No. No let’s just... leave it like all the other times,” she said.

I nodded. I got up and she walked me to her front door. I pulled her into my arms again. I didn’t want to cry. I heard her sniffling. I sighed. “Thank you for everything,” I said.

“Thank you as well. You were such a blessing. You were exactly who I was supposed to meet at this time in my life,” she said.

“I feel the same way. Thank you for helping me grow.” I whispered.

“I’ll call you, ok?” She said. This is what she always said. She would call me and tell me her days off, her schedule was constantly changing.

“Yeah, let me know,” I answered as I always did. I kissed her forehead. I squeezed her.

“Drive safe, Elio.”

“I will,” I said as I stepped outside. “Good night, Isabela.”

“Buenas noches, Elio,” she said.

I turned and walked down the hallway and quickly descended the stairs. I heard her door close and the lock click. I jogged across the street to my car. I quickly cranked the engine and took off. I drove off quickly. I didn’t want to cry. This was to be expected and I was happy. Happy for her and happy for me. We deserved this. I felt my chest grow lighter. The melancholy passed. I stopped at a red light and looked at myself in the rear view mirror. I smiled. My life felt like it was on the right path.

 

* * *

 

 

I saw Valerie walk into the doctor’s office. She waved when she saw me. She walked to the receptionist. A moment later she came and sat beside me.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hey,” I replied squeezing her hand. “How you feeling?”

“Ok. Kim made me the best upside down pineapple cake ever, I had the rest of it this morning. It was amazing,” she said.

I raised my eyebrows. “The baby is gonna come out looking like a pineapple, you know that right?” I said. We both laughed. Some of the other people in the waiting room looked at us and smiled. I felt good. This was going to be ok.

Val and I chatted a bit more until she got called back. “Valerie?” A nurse came out.

We got up and I followed her inside. I stood to the side as they took her vitals. The nurse then gave Valerie a cup and she went to the restroom. We were then led into a room.

“Ok Valerie, sit up there, dad you can have the seat at the corner,” the nurse said.

Dad. Ok. “Thank you,” I said quietly. I went and sat down and the nurse started asking Valerie more questions. I leaned forward and put my elbows on my knees. I looked down at my white converse and my dark green corduroys.

“Ok!” The nurse said once she was done with the questions. She walked to a closet on the side and took out something that looked like a hospital gown. “So, completely undress from the waist down and Dr. Carter will be in shortly. Press the green button once you’re undressed,” she said. She walked out.

I looked at Valerie with my brow furrowed. “It happens whenever you come to the OBGYN,” she said.

I nodded. “I’ve never been to one,” I said. She laughed. I sat up and covered my eyes with my hands. “Let me know when you’re done.”

I heard her giggling. I kept my hands up until I heard her say, “Ok!” I put my hands down and smiled at her.

We started chatting a bit more till there was a knock on the door. A tall lady walked in. Talk, probably my height. She was tanned and her hair was up, a bunch of spiral curls cascading all around her head.

“Hi! How are you? I’m Dr. Carter,” she said.

“Valerie,” Val said, they shook hands.

“Elio,” I said standing up to shake her hand.

“Ok, Elio and Valerie, nice to meet you both,” she sat down on her stool and opened up Valerie’s chart. “Ok, so we did the pregnancy test, it’s positive,” she said glancing up at us as she flipped through the medical chart. “So, going with the information you gave us Valerie, of the first date of your last cycle, I believe the baby will be coming July 24,” she said looking at us and smiling.

“Wow,” I said. Valerie and I glanced at each other. She nodded. “Hey, summer break,” I said.

“Are you in school?” Dr. Carter asked.

“Law school,” she said.

“Oh good for you!” She said. “Ok go ahead and lay back and I’m just going to do a quick check,” she said. Another nurse came in with a tray of medical supplies. I got up and walked to the door, wanting to get out of everyone’s way.

“Are you in school as well Elio?” Dr. Carter asked me.

“No, I’m a pianist for the LA Orchestra,” I said.

“Wow! Impressive!” She said. “Ok, Valerie, everything looks great. So you’re going to be coming to see me once a month for now. At 28 weeks we’ll be seeing each other every other week and at 36 week it’ll be weekly. The nurse will come in with some paper work. You’ll have a booklet on eating healthy while pregnant and how to stay healthy. I want you to start taking prenatal vitamins in case you haven’t yet.”

“No, I haven’t,” Val said.

“Ok, yeah start with those. I also want you to schedule an ultrasound. We’re gonna take look and make sure everything is ok. Last but not least, before you leave walk to the lab and do all your blood work. Do you have any questions for me?” Dr. Carter asked looking at us both.

“I don’t,” I said. She was very thorough.

“Me neither,” Val said.

“Ok. If you have any nausea, saltine crackers and ginger ale helps. Also, feel free to take tums in case you get heartburn,” she said.

“Ok, thank you,” Val replied. The nurse and doctor left the room. I went and sat and closed my eyes so Val could get dressed. She laughed again when she saw me put my hands over my eyes. I chuckled.

“Ok. I’m dressed,” she said. I put my hands down. There was another knock at the door.

“Hello,” the nurse came in “Ok, here is a booklet about staying healthy and healthy eating during pregnancy,” the nurse said. “Now there is a page here,” she motioned to me to come closer. I got up and went to look with Val. “So this page right here, if you could both read it. Valerie if you ever experience any of these symptoms call us. We have a 24 hr nurse line for pregnant moms so any time of the day you can call.”

I looked at the list. Bleeding, cramping. “Are those signs of a miscarriage?” I asked.

“They’re symptoms that can be worrying which is why if any come on, we want to know ASAP,” she said. 

“How often does that happen?” I asked feeling a little panicked.

“Not often,” the nurse said softly. “But please don’t worry so much, we just want you both to be mindful,” she said with sweet smile.

We thanked her and she walked us out. We walked down to the lab. I waited outside in the waiting room. I went through the booklet. Foods to avoid... drink plenty of water.... get enough sleep. 

I saw Valerie walking back to me. “You can’t use a hot tub while you’re pregnant,” I said.

“Darn, I wanted to spend the whole pregnancy in a hot tub!” She said. We laughed.

“So, you’ve been feeling ok right? No nothing ever of those symptoms and stuff?”

“No, Elio. I’m ok. Baby is ok. Don’t worry, it’ll all be ok,” she said.

I let out a breath. “Right,” I said.

We both got into our cars and drove home.

 

* * *

 

_Oliver_

 

Once I arrived at Dr. Jackson’s I checked in. I was called back to a small room soon after. I sat on the loveseat, my right knee bouncing with nervous excitement. After a while Dr. Jackson walking in.

“Oliver!” She said in a deep voice. I got up and smiled and hugged her.

“How are you?” I asked her.

“Wonderful! You?”

I let out a deep breath and sunk back into the loveseat. Instead of giving her the typical “good thank you” auto response I said, “Do you remember, the first time we met and we were speaking about my marriage to Karen and you asked me how I pictured my life?” I had all weekend to think and I was ready to let it all out.

“Yes! I do!” She said.

“And I said me and the love of my life raising my children,” I said. She nodded. “Well, I love being a father. Being a father is amazing. There was a part of me that wondered if Elio would want it and later on be sad that he never had a child. I mean, I can’t give him children,” I said pointing to my chest.

This was met with a soft chuckle from Dr. Jackson. “No, you cannot,” she said. 

“Well, Elio had a girlfriend before me. They were living together. Turns out she’s pregnant,” I said.

“Oh!” Dr. Jackson looked surprised. “Ok what do you think about that.”

“Well, I’m not feeling threatened because they’re no longer a couple and I’ve met her. She actually still staying with us. She just found a place and we’re going to help her move next week. She’s nice,” I said. I leaned back on the couch and let out a breath. “I’m happy.”

“Happy?”

“Happy,” I repeated. I looked at her. “Happy. Slightly relieved. Elio won’t miss out on being a father. And I’m gonna be there, with him, beside him.” I sat up and looked at Dr. Jackson. “I’m going to see the love of my life become a father and I’m gonna be right there. Him and Valerie will work something out like Karen and I did and then I’m going to help him raise his child. I’ll see his child grow.”

I felt the tears come and the same overwhelming feeling came back. It was a bit less than Saturday afternoon thought, but still, overwhelming. Dr. Jackson handed me her tissue box. “Here you go,” she said.

“Thank you,” I said. I looked at her. “We’re going to raise his child together. I’m going to be there helping him.”

“I’m glad you’re seeing the positive side of it.”

“For me there is only a positive side,” I said. “Elio and Valerie will sort themselves out and I’m sure it’ll be fine because Elio is just much more emotionally mature than I am.”

“Is he?” She asked.

“Yes, so much. He gave me little pep talks for last Saturday. Told me everything would be ok and to just be honest. He told me Karen just wanted closure so she could move on.”

Dr. Jackson nodded. “That was good advice. Seems he has sensed your problem of sometimes being open.”

“Yes, he’s the COMPLETE opposite of Karen! He’s not as fucking obnoxious. Karen thought the bitchier she was and the louder she would yell the more I’d want to open up to her. Fucking crazy.” I took a deep breath in and out. “Elio relaxes me. Makes me feel loved and cared for. Makes me feel less afraid. So opening up to him is just easier and when I do it’s never the wrong thing. Even if he thinks I’m wrong he’ll, first of all, never tell me I’m WRONG just tells me of a different way of looking at things. He’s amazing,” I said looking at her.

She nodded. “That’s wonderful. Seems like he knows how to get you to open up and that’s great.”

“It is.” I said.

“So you’re happy about the baby? You don’t have any nagging little concerns?”

I looked at her. I sat up. “When Elio and I stopped seeing each other last year he started writing in notepads. He was writing his feelings about me. I can tell you, he loves me just as much as I love him. His ex girlfriend found them and read some of what he had written.I’ve read some too, it’s intense. She said she knew I was it for Elio, she’s accepted it. She’s a decent person. She’s in a law school. Elio told her he would be there for her and I’ll be there for Elio. I’m not worried,” I said.

“Good!” Dr. Jackson said.

She then started talking about Karen and Saturday. I was in such a wonderful mood, I was open and honest with her. It was easy. Once our time was over we got up and I gave her a hug. 

“Thank you so much. See you Saturday,” I said.

“Yes,” she said. “And I want you to keep me updated on your family. Even if you don’t have a need to see me, just call me to update me.”

I hugged her again. “Will do,” I said smiling. I walked to the door. I put my hand on the door knob and turned to see her. “Keep your fingers crossed for me,” I told her. “Because I really hope it’s a girl!”

She let out a wonderful laugh and held up her hands with both her fingers crossed.

 

I jogged to the car and drove home. I put my radio on. I sang along with all the songs I knew. I was feeling so great. I was tapping in the steering wheel.

I felt it was going to be a girl. What would she be named? Should I even think of names? It would be up to Elio and Valerie. I’d think of a name later and suggest it to Elio, but we had some time. I wanted to cook a big dinner. What should I cook? Elio loved everything I cooked so I could cook anything I wanted.

I stopped at Ralph’s on the way home. I picked up quite a bit. I’d decide what to cook when I finally made it home. I made sure to pick up a couple of pineapples because Valerie wanted them a lot. I could make her a pineapple smoothie. I bet she would love that.

I finally made it home and saw Elio’s and Valerie’s cars in the driveway. Guess they beat me home. I grabbed all the bags and was walking up the path when the door flew open. There was Elio. I grinned at him. He walked out and grabbed some of the bags. He closed the door behind us and kissed me when we stepped inside. We walked to the kitchen and placed the bags on the kitchen counter.

“July 24th,” He said to me. I grabbed him and kissed him.

“Ok!” I said. We pulled apart. “Seems more concrete now doesn’t it? With a due date.”

“Yes,” He said, running his hands through his hair. I saw his eyes wander around the kitchen. He pressed his lips together a bit.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. I felt it. Was it nerves?

“How often do miscarriages happen?” He asked softly.

I pulled him into my arms. “I don’t know statistics my love,” I said softly. “But please, Elio, don’t worry about it.” I squeezed him tight. “Come July we’ll have a baby.” I said. I said “we” before I could catch myself. But it’s how I felt. It wasn’t just Elio who would welcome the baby, I would too.

He pulled back. “We will,” he said. I could see he was now relaxed. I leaned down and kissed him. “What are you cooking for dinner?” He asked me.

“I wasn’t sure but now I feel like chicken pot pie. What do you think?”

“I love every single thing you cook for me,” he said as he walked to the bags and started putting things away. “I don’t think I could even choose a favorite. It’s all so good.”

That made me feel wonderful. Once everything was put away he helped me start chopping things up as I cooked the chicken. I made the pie crust and then put everything in the oven. As I waited for that to be done I chopped up the pineapple and added some crushed ice and some canned pineapple juice and blended everything.

Valerie came in and said she smelled pineapple and I handed her and Elio a glass of the smoothie. Once the chicken pot pie was done we all ate.

“Did you take cooking classes?” She asked me as we ate.

“No, I just love to cook,” I said.

“Can you taste the love?” Elio asked her.

She laughed. “Yes! I seriously can! It’s so delicious!”

I smiled to myself. I suddenly remembered something. “When Michael and Ben started eating solid foods Karen would go to the grocery store and buy the baby food, I used to sometimes make things at home for them,” I told them. They were looking at me. “They sell special small processors for babies. Some fruit though, like bananas you can just mash up for them,” I said. “Well, you cut it long ways, scrape the seed out and then mash it. 

Elio raised his eyebrows. “Oh really? I seriously would have never thought of that.”

“Me neither!” Valerie said. “I’m so glad you’re here, Oliver.” She said.

“I am too,” I said. Elio reached over and placed his hand on mine, squeezing it.

Life was good. I was happy.


	34. Fitting So Well Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love the sexy domestic bliss between our boys ;)

The rest of the week were exams and so it was an easy week to handle. I was looking forward to Elio’s CD release party. Tuesday evening I was cooking dinner while Elio was playing piano. The sound drifted around the house. I enjoyed it greatly. Once dinner was done I walked down the hall and into the sunroom. He was so into what he was playing he didn’t even notice me walking around. He looked up after almost ten minutes of me being there and looked surprised to see me. I chuckled. 

We walked to the kitchen and had dinner. He talked to me about some ideas he had for his Beethoven concerts. I loved hearing him talk about it. He was very excited about this and I was excited for him. It was a big deal. I imagined being in France and watching him play. That would be amazing.

The next day I had to go to campus but only for a couple of hours. I picked up all I needed and brought all the exams I had so far home to start to grade them. I would normally sit in the living room and grade the papers and he would be playing in the sunroom. He informed he missed me and he felt we were too far apart so we moved the easy chair from the living room to the sunroom as well as a small table so I could be in there with him, grading as he practiced playing. This warmed my heart.

Wednesday night he had his first concert back. He came home at almost 11:00 pm and I had some food warmed up and a glass of wine for him. The same for Thursday. On Thursday Valerie left to spend the weekend with her friend, Kim. She said she would be back on Sunday night. Monday we would start moving her to her new place.

Friday, as we were getting ready for his CD release party, he was a bundle of nerves. I thought it was adorable. We were in the shower and I was holding him as the warm water ran over us. I had a loofah and was slowly caressing his body with it.

“It’ll be great. You’ll be wonderful. Everything will be amazing,” I said to him. He nodded. He bit his lip and looked up at me. When we were out of the shower we put our bathrobes on and walked to the bedroom. He had two suits ready and he still wasn’t sure which one he would wear. I was about to comment on which one I liked more when he grabbed my hand and led me to the bed.

“I need to fuck you.” He said.

He bent me over the side of the bed. I found it really hot that he didn’t even take my bathrobe off, he just lifted it up. He was so forceful and rough. I loved it. I loved him taking complete control. It was intoxicating, sexy, and incredibly sensual and pleasurable. I had never given much thought to the dynamics of our sex life, but once I thought about it, it was pretty obvious Elio was the one charge. I loved it though, he always took amazing care of me. Once he was done, I laid on the bed and he gave me the most amazing blow job. He actually made me climax twice. When I came the first time he kept sucking gently and I got hard right away. It was fucking incredible.

He laid beside me on the bed and held my hand. Once I was able to move, we got up and got dressed.

I drove us to the CD release party. He had finally decided on a royal blue suit and black shirt, no tie. He had black dress ankle boots on. He looked so fucking incredible. I had a tux on. 

This would be my first time meeting his manager. I was excited. Once we arrived I gave the car to the valet. The lounge was in Hollywood. It had an amazing rooftop terrace that was going to be open for party. There were spotlights at the entrance. It was all very chic. Lindsay was there. She was about my age, blonde hair up in a hair clip. She had a bit of a baggy gray suit on.

“Hey!” She hugged Elio. “Ok, so, there are three guests you HAVE to meet tonight,” she spoke quickly to Elio. He nodded as he listened. She handed him a bottle of cold water. “Don’t get drunk but don’t get caught without a drink in your hands! This is your party! You need to look like you’re enjoying it more than anyone!”

“Well, Oliver can enjoy it more than me!” He said winking at me. I grinned at him.

“Oliver! You’re the boyfriend! Hey I’m Lindsey, nice to meet you!” She shook my hand. She had an amazing grip.

“Lindsay, we’re not fucking twelve, call him my partner, please,” he said rolling his eyes but laughing. He had glint in his eyes.

“Excuse me! Partner!” She rolled her eyes back at him, but had a smile on her face. People were starting to come in.

I met David, the recording studio exec. I was pleased to see the conductor. Elio had told he he was inviting Stacey so I asked if I could invite Lidia and he, of course, said I could. That made me happy. They arrived together. I went and greeted them. By nine the lounge was full and buzzing with alcohol and excitement. Elio’s music was playing over the loudspeakers. It was amazing. It was about 10:30 when a beautiful white grand piano appeared on the stage the lounge had and Elio went and played some of his songs. I was so fucking proud. I couldn’t get over how perfect he was.

While mingling some more, a blonde in a silver dress came up to me, out of nowhere. “Hi! Wonderful party isn’t it?”

“It is!” I said apprehensively. I wasn’t sure who she was or why she had a small notepad in her hands. I glanced around but Elio and David were talking to one of the people I knew Lindsay had told to mingle with.

Out of nowhere though, Lindsay appeared right beside me. “Who are you?” She asked the woman. “Who do you work for?”

“I’m just interested in covering the party for Entertainment -“

“Out!” Lindsey said. “We gave exclusive rights to the LA Times!”

She grabbed the woman’s notepad and grabbed her purse. She took out a camera and two rolls of film. She put the empty camera back in the woman’s purse.

A man in a black tux came and walked the woman out. “Fuck!” I said looking at Lindsey. She nodded.

“Next release party we need to double security and probably use the back entrance to the club,” she said. She looked at me. “You didn’t tell her who you were right?”

“No, seriously, I didn’t say anything.”

She nodded. “Ok, good!” She said. “Go have fun!”

“Ok!” I said.

The lounge closed at two and the party went on until then. I had so much fun despite that small crazy episode.

 

Elio and I made it home at almost 3 am.

“Wow, that was amazing! I could get used to your CD release parties!” I said to Elio.

He laughed and hugged me and kissed me. “It was amazing having you there. You looked SO sexy,” he said to me. “I just kept thinking about how I had just fucked your a few hours ago,” he said. “It made my night.”

“Your music is amazing. Why hadn’t you played any for me?”

“I was nervous. This was the album I wrote in a time in my life when I wondered if you’d ever be mine again,” he said softly. He pouted. He was so cute. 

“Aw, my love,” I said as I kissed his pouty bottom lip. “Let me make it up to you,” I said to him.

He had a complete change in demeanor when he heard me say that. Even his face changed. He looked so sexy. “Do you want to make it up to me?” He asked caressing my face.

“Yes,” I said. I was so turned on.

“Undress,” He said. I started taking off my tux. We were still in the living room. I dropped the discarded pieces of clothing on the floor. Finally I took off my socks and was only in my boxers. He looked into my eyes.

“Tell me what you want,” I said to him. My heart was racing. I was nervous and excited and so turned on.

“What are you feeling right now?” He asked me as he stepped closer to me. He caressed my face again. 

“I’m nervous,” I said. He chuckled softly. “I’m excited. I’m aroused,” I said softly.

“All good, good things,” he said. He kissed me softly. He ran his right hand down my abdomen. He placed his palm on top of my semi hard cock and rubbed it gently in circular motions. I was hard in no time.

“Mmmmm your body just responds so well to me, my baby,” he said as he kissed me gently between pants. He guided me into the living room. My heart was racing.

“Because it belongs to you,” I said automatically. It was the truth. He knew this, as did I.

“Mmmmm,” He said again, as he gently pushed me into the couch. “Take your boxers off,” he said.

I did as he asked. I was fully erect. He looked at my erection and then up to my eyes, giving me a sexy half smile. I smiled back up at him. He took his suit jacket off and untucked his shirt. I reached for my erection with my right hand. I was about to start stroking myself as I watched him undress when he said, “Hands off! You’re not permitted to touch!” His voice was soft but the authority in it was unmistakable. My eyes flew up to meet his. He was giving me a piercing look. I nodded. My cock responded to this. He saw and raised his eyebrows. He kept unbuttoning his shirt. He pulled it off.

My eyes wondered over his beautiful pale skin. I wanted to touch him. “I want to touch you,” I said to him.

“Soon,” He said. I clenched my fists.

“I hate waiting,” I whispered.

He ran his hands through his hair and chuckled. “I know, baby, but you should see how beautiful you are when you’re impatient,” he said. He had said this to me before. I bit my bottom lip as I looked up at him. He started undoing his pants. He slid them and his boxers down. His beautiful cock sprung out. I wanted to suck him so badly. I opened my mouth instinctively.

He took a step forward, legs on either side of mine. He nodded down to his erection. I leaned forward and slid my hands up his thighs and grabbed hold of his hips as I slowly slid him into my mouth. We looked into each other’s eyes the whole time I sucked him. He caressed my face and pulled my hair as I devoured him. He praised me and told me how good I was at sucking him, how beautiful I looked as I pleased him and how I would be rewarded for being so good to him.

He pulled out and came all over my chest and abdomen. I rubbed it into my skin. He smiled at me. “Good baby, good.” He said. 

He looked down at my erection. My cock was weeping, I was excruciatingly hard. “Your gorgeous cock needs some attention, doesn’t it baby?” He said in a husky voice. “You’re so beautiful, baby,” he whispered. His comment made more precum seep out of my tip.

I watched his beautiful body as he straddled me on the couch, knees in either side of my hips. I held my cock up for him as he lowered himself onto it. I groaned at the tightness and friction. I squeezed my eyes shut, I had to will myself to not ejaculate right then and there. I opened my eyes and saw he was staring at me.

“Did you almost...” he said trailing off. I nodded. We both chuckled. My heart pounded. I swear, at times like this he made me feel like an inexperienced teenager.

I watched him as he leaned back and placed his palms on my knees. He leaned his head back. I watched, completely mesmerized as he worked his hips on me. I couldn’t take my eyes off his gorgeous skin and defined muscles. I ran my hands up his thighs and across his lower abdomen. I felt as if I was in a trance watching this beautiful man ride me. It felt so good.

“Fuck,” I whispered. “Fuck, you’re not human, Elio. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” My brain just couldn’t handle all this.

He leaned his head forward, clasped his hands behind my neck and stared into my eyes as he kept going. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could last.

“Not yet, you can’t come. I’m not done fucking you,” he said, piercing me with his eyes. I nodded. I wanted to do this for him. My desire to please him was so great.

I looked down his body, pale skin glistening with sweat. He looked so incredibly amazing. I watched his abdominal muscles as he rolled his hips on me. I looked up and watched as a bead of sweat rolled down his neck. He was just mesmerizing. 

He groaned and moaned and I closed my eyes, willing myself to not climax. My heart was pounding. My mind was racing. I tried to slow it down and to slow my breathing.

I suddenly felt his body slow down and felt his lips against mine. I opened my eyes as he pulled back. “You were so good baby. So amazing,”

He licked my lips as he pushed me in deep. I moaned. “Fuck,” I whispered.

“You can come when you want now, baby,” he whispered against my lips. I grabbed his hips and pushed them down on me. He grabbed my shoulders and rolled them a couple of times before I came deep, deep inside him.

I groaned loudly, waves of ecstasy washing over me. He leaned into me. My chest was still sticky with his come. Now his sweat was mixing with it. We stayed like this a moment. I held him. I slowly became soft and slipped out of him. I kept holding him tight.

Once my breathing and pulse had returned to normal I scooted to the edge of the couch and got up. I lifted Elio easily. He had his head on my shoulder, his arms and legs around me. He giggled as I walked down the hall and walked into the bathroom.

“I wonder how many other couples are like this. One fucks the other then the other carries the one to bed or the shower,” he said. I couldn’t see his face but I heard the smile in his voice.

“Just us,” I said turning the shower on. I put him down gently. He leaned against the wall. Once I liked the temperature I guided him under the water. I washed us both. He leaned against the wall and let me. I loved this. I dried him and sat him down on the closed toilet seat. I dried myself. I stood him up and picked him up and carried him to the bed. He laid his head on my shoulder again. I heard him sigh. I kissed his forehead.

I laid him down gently, taking his towel. I turned the light off and took mine off and climbed into bed with him, spooning him and holding him tight. I loved sleeping like this. 

“I love holding you like this when I sleep,” I whispered to him.

“Why?” He asked softly running his finger tips across my arm.

“Because you’re safe and sound in my arms, where you belong,” I told him.

“We fit so perfectly together,” he replied. 

“Soulmates always do,” I said. 

“Elio,” He said softly. “Elio. Elio. Elio.”

I closed my eyes and smiled. “Oliver.” I replied softly and slowly, rubbing my nose on the back of his neck. “I love you. Very, very much.”

“I love you too.” He replied.


	35. Moving Forwars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing along, this chapter is from Oliver’s POV  
> Enjoy darlings <3

I had another appointment with Karen and Dr. Jackson Saturday morning. Elio and I had probably gotten to bed at about 4 in the morning. I had to leave the house at 8:30. I got up at 7:45 and made me some coffee. I brought it back to the bedroom and drank it slowly as I watched Elio sleep peacefully. 

He looked so much younger while he was sleeping. What was I saying? He _was_ young! He was about to turn 25 in a little more than a couple of weeks. I thought back to the 17 year old I had met. The difference these years had made were astounding. He was still him, charming, intelligent, witty and funny but there was this self assurance and self control and just... it’s like he knew exactly who he was and wasn’t apologetic about it. You could feel it. I was in awe and slightly envious of it.

I wondered what had happened the years we were apart. He didn’t really talk about it. He said he had fallen in love with French boy. He had said there was one girl too. Wonder who she was. Maybe I’d ask him about it sometime soon. I hadn’t even asked him if he had been in love with her. I had only asked him if he had been in love with him.

A slow smile spread across my lips as I watched him sleep. I took a deep breath in and out. I could hear birds chirping out in the yard. I looked towards the sliding doors. I glanced back at him. His dark curls falling over his forehead. His cute nose with those freckles scattered across. His beautiful pink lips and lovely pale neck. He was so the same but so different. I wondered what if I’d met him today, as adults, say in a club or a coffee shop or whatever. Would I have been totally smitten by him? 

The thought made me chuckle. Of course I would have been. He was the most beautiful human being I had ever met. More beautiful than any man or woman out there. I remember when he had said that about me. I had loved it. I knew he was sexually attracted to both and hearing him say that just warmed my heart and turned me on so much.

I went back to wondering how it would have been different if we had met at this time in our lives. I wondered if I would have had the guts to approach him? Yes, I would have. I think once he had told me he was a professional pianist, though, I would have felt insignificant and would have gotten shy. I looked at him again. No, that’s not true. I would have pursued him without shame. I would have done all I could to make him mine. Plus, being a professor at UCLA sounded impressive as well. I finished my coffee and went to the kitchen to rinse off my cup. I walked back to our bedroom and pulled on some jeans, a white tee shirt and a dark green knit top. I looked at my watch. 8:25 am. I let out a deep breath.

I walked over to Elio and sat beside him at the edge of the bed. I rubbed his back gently. He stirred a bit. He blinked his eyes.

“Good morning handsome,” I said.

“Morning baby,” he said sleepily. His voice hoarse and groggy and beautiful.

I leaned down and kissed him gently. “I need to get going,” I told him softly as I rubbed the tip of my nose with his.

“Mmmmmm,” he said as he ran his right hand up the back of my head and pushed me down and kissed me more. “Ok baby,” he said. He laid back down.

“I’m gonna pass by Thousand Oaks after the appointment and pick up the boys. It’s their week with us,” I said caressing his cheek. 

He nodded. “I wanted us to take them to Chuck E Cheese. What do you think?”

“I think they would love that. We should be back before 12 so it will be perfect for lunch and fun at Chuck E Cheese,” I said.

“Awesome,” Elio said.

I leaned down and kissed him again. “I love you,” I said. 

“I love you more,” Elio answered.

I gave him another kiss and got up. I looked back at him as I walked out of the bedroom. He smiled at me and I walked down the hall and out of the house. I locked the front door and got in my car.

I made my way to the 101 and drove up to Oxnard. I had the radio on and was humming along to the music. I wondered what today’s session would be like. I hope Karen had calmed the fuck down. I didn’t want to put up with her shit today. I pushed those thoughts out of my head and remembered Elio’s advice. Be honest. She just wants closure. I took a deep breath in and out. I repeated Elio’s mantras in my head until I felt relaxed.

 

I finally reached the business building and got out. Karen was at the front door waiting. I smiled and waved and gave her a quick hug. We went upstairs and walked to 507. When we went in, again, it was pretty empty.

Dr. Jackson came out. “Good Saturday morning!” She had black slacks and a red knit sweater. Hair in a stylish bun and this time red horn rimmed glasses. She led us inside to a smaller room and Karen and I sat on a floral loveseat. She sat on the easy chair adjacent and opened up her black leather folder.

“So, how are you both today?”

“Good,” Karen said.

“Wonderful,” I said smiling a wide smile. Karen looked at me. I looked at her and grinned. She raised her eyebrows and looked back at Dr. Jackson.

“Ok, Oliver you and I had a very good talk on Monday 

“We did. Yup,” I said.

“Karen, our talk was also very constructive.”

“It was,” she said quietly.

“It was. Were you ready to move forward with what you and I discussed?”

“Yeah,” Karen said. She cleared her throat. She turned her body towards me. “Oliver,” she said quietly. She slowly looked up at me, but looked back down at the love seat.

“Yes?”

“I would like to apologize for my words last weekend. They were not productive and they were also not necessary. Elio’s and your relationship is your business and any issues within it are also your business and I’m sorry for bringing that up. It was out of line.”

I was absolutely dumbstruck. I stared at Dr. Jackson. She gave me her warm smile and nodded, as if telling me to continue the conversation. I looked back at Karen. “Thank you,” I said. “I... of course I do understand the anger. I’m sorry Karen. I really am. I don’t ever want to hurt anyone. It’s never me. That’s not me. So I’m sorry.”

“I know Oliver,” she said letting out a breath. “I know you and I know deep down you’re a good man. I’m glad your my children’s father.”

That warmed my heart. I felt such relief. “Thank you.” I said.

Dr. Jackson talked to us further about moving past the pain and reaching out to each other as friends. “You have your sons, and you will always be _your sons_ parents. No one will replace you when it comes to it in their lives so make them feel loved and supported and let them know mom and dad and always be together in their corner, even if you’re not _together_. They need to know the separation had absolutely no change in how much you love them both.”

We took it all in and nodded and talked a bit more. This was amazing. I had never felt so open in front of Karen. When our hour was done we hugged her and she told us she thought we could handle it moving forward.

“Of course I’m always here in case you need me and I’ll be happy to accommodate you with a Saturday visit if you need to see me together,” she said. “Also, please keep me updated, I’d love to hear about you and your children,” she said. 

We hugged her. I felt so great. We thanked Dr. Jackson and walked out of her office. I couldn’t stop smiling as we rode down the elevator. 

“So, I’m gonna go with you and get the boys,” I said. 

She nodded. “Just so you know, my mother came over and is looking after them,” she said. 

I shrugged. “Ok,” I said.

“I told her this morning, about the divorce, before I came,” she said hurriedly.

I nodded. “Ok,” I said. Karen and I hadn’t told our parents. They were the same kind of people. We wondered when we would tell them. During Thanksgiving we had kept up appearances. We had been covering it but of course we knew we couldn’t do that forever. “We’ll be ok,” I told her.

“Yes,” she said giving me a smile. She nodded. She looked like she was tying to convince herself of it.

We walked out of the building and drove to Thousand Oaks. We made it under 30 minutes. We parked and got out of our cars. “Ok,” she said taking a deep breath in. I could see the concern in her eyes. She felt as terrified of her mother as I was of mine. We walked up the driveway and into the house.

“Daddy!” Michael ran up to me.

“Hey buddy!” I picked him up and squeezed him. Ben ran over after him. I scooped him up too. 

“So how about we go to Chuck E Cheese for pizza for lunch!” I said.

“Yeah!” Michael yelled right into my ear. I laughed and put him down. He jumped up and down. 

“Hey, is dad Elio buying me cake? He said every time I go I can have cake.”

I took a deep breath. “You can ask him when we go home ok?” I said to him.

“Who?” I heard Karen’s mom ask. “Who is he talking about.”

I felt my heart thumping on my chest. Karen looked at me. “I’ll take the boys upstairs and finish getting them ready for you,” she said quietly. I nodded. I watched as she picked Ben up and took Michael’s hand.

“Can I take both my Supermans?” I heard Michael ask.

“Yes, but make sure you bring both back ok?” Karen said.

I looked at Karen’s mom. I wasn’t going to lie. I couldn’t. Not now. Not after everything.

“He was talking about my boyfriend, Elio. He calls him dad.” I said. 

I saw her eyes widen. She looked pale. “You left my daughter for a man?” She asked me.

“Actually, I fell in love with Elio before I married your daughter so technically, I left him for her. Now we’re back together.”

“I can’t even...” she put her hand to her chest. She gave me an ugly look. “How dare you take my grandchildren to that man’s house!” She said.

I heard Karen quickly descend the stairs. “I’ve been to _that man’s_ house and I’ve met him and he’s perfectly fine!” She said to her.

“You’re ok with this? How awful! I-”

“ _SHUT UP MOTHER_!” Karen said angrily. “Shut up. This is between Oliver and I and our children. I don’t care if you like it or not and you will not speak ill of Elio to them or in front of them! If I catch you saying anything derogatory about Elio and Oliver I swear on my life it will be the last day you will see them! Is that clear?” She pointed her index finger into her mother’s face. 

Her mother turned her nose up but said nothing.

“Go get the boys. They’re ready,” Karen told me. I nodded and jogged up the stairs. I entered Michael’s room and found him and Ben playing.

“Ready?” I asked.

“Yeah!” Michael said. I grabbed the duffle bag we always used and picked up Ben. Michael ran out of the room and down the hallway and down the stairs.

“Bye Mommy! Bye Granny!” He said. Karen walked out with me. I didn’t look back at her mother.

She helped me put the boys in the car. I turned to look at her. “Thank you, Karen.” I said. I suddenly felt emotional. I hugged her. I held her tight. “Thank you so much. Thank you.” 

“It’s ok,” she said when we pulled apart. She wiped her eyes. “I will NOT have them hear derogatory comments about same sex relationships. I will not have my sons to grow up and be THEM! Close minded bigots,” she said. She shook her head. She let out a sigh. “Plus my mother doesn’t have to accept you. It’s none of her business.” She said. “And I don’t want to have separate thanksgivings,” she continued. “I want us to always be mom and dad to them. I want them to have happy memories.”

I nodded. “Thank you. They will. One thing they’ll never ever wonder about is if mom and dad loved. We will always do right by them.”

I hugged her again. “Good,” she said.

“Thanks again,” I said. She nodded. I walked around to the driver’s side of the car and got in. I waved at her, backed out of the driveway and drove home.

* * *

 

 

When we made it home Elio was dressed and waiting for us. The boys ran and hugged him. He held them tight. 

“So! How about Chuck E Cheese?” Elio asked them.

“Yeah! Yeah! And after can we go by the store and get cake please? Please!”

“Yes! Yes we can! What kind of cake?”

“Chocolate cake!” Ben said.

Elio laughed. “Yeah, chocolate cake that’s the best!” Michael said. I took their duffle bag to their room and then went back out to the living room.

We went to Chuck E Cheese and got the boys pizza and spent the whole afternoon there playing. They rode as many rides as they wanted. I loved how happy Elio looked. Michael would be six and Ben three when the baby arrived. The boys were getting bigger and I was happy about the thought of another baby at home. I took a deep breath in. 

We stayed several hours and then finally left and passed by Albertson’s on the way home to get the cake Elio told the boys they could have. We got home and I made them some Mac and cheese. Once they had had some of that they had their cake. Elio then took the boys to the sunroom and played with them on the piano while I sat on the arm chair and watched. Micheal always loved when Elio took his hands and played the piano with them. He took turns between both of them. Once Michael was tired of it he grabbed his Superman and ran around and playing.

Ben stayed with Elio on the piano a while more. He seemed more interested in actually playing. I watched as Elio touched a key and said the name. 

“C,” Elio said. 

“C,” Ben repeated playing it.

I watched for a while and after a while I watched as Ben showed Elio that he recognized middle C. Elio looked at me with excitement. I was a little shocked. 

“He’s not even three,” I said amazed.

“I don’t remember not ever knowing how to play,” he said. He beamed at Ben. Elio looked so proud.  

We finally took them to their room and changed them and put their pajamas on. Elio had bought some books for the boys. One of them was a collection of poems for children. Michael read it for us. Ben fell sleep while Michale read. Soon after we kissed and Michael good night. 

Elio and I went to bed. It had started raining while we had been home.

“Finally,” Elio said walking to the sliding doors and looking out of them. “Now we get rain for two months,” he said chuckling. I got on the bed and watched him. He came back to the bed and leaned against me. “Cheek E Cheese was fun.” He said. 

I laughed. “It was. That one game that Ben kept wanting to -“

There was a sudden and very loud crash of thunder. The lights flickered. There was a cry from the boys room. We both quickly got off the bed and went down the hall.

Michael was sitting up in bed, eyes wide and Ben was crying. I went in and picked up Ben, rubbing his back and trying to comfort him.

“That was loud!” Michael said.

“It was. Did it scare you?” I asked him. He nodded as his chin trembled. Elio took him in his arms.

“Can we go to your room?” Michael asked.

There was another loud crash of thunder. Ben kept crying. 

“Yes, of course,” Elio said. He picked Michael up and grabbed a pillow. I grabbed another one and we took them to our room. Michael laid between us as I held Ben, who was still crying. The thunder took a while to pass. When it finally did, Ben calmed down and quit crying completely. Michael fell sleep quickly after. I had to get up and walk Ben around like I did when he was an infant. Finally Elio told me he was sleep. I laid him down beside Michael and got in the bed. Elio looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. I turned off the lights and got in bed.

“I’m glad I have a king size bed,” Elio said softly. 

“Me too,” I said. I caressed Ben’s blond hair.

My eyes adjusted and I could faintly see Elio’s face. He looked at the boys and looked at me.

“This is fatherhood,” he said. He wasn’t asking. He was stating.

“Yes,” I said. “It’s bittersweet. As they grow you’re happy they’re getting older but you’re sad because you know they need you less and less,” I whispered.

“Well, soon there will be a brand new baby that will need us for a while,” he whispered back to me. I chuckled. 

“I know,” I said reaching for him. He took my hand. “I can’t wait,” I said.

“Me neither baby,” he said softly.

I took a deep breath in and let it out. I wasn’t sure how long it was but it wasn’t long until I drifted off into a very peaceful sleep.


	36. Atmosphere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing with Oliver’s POV...
> 
> Enjoy!

Our Sunday was also wonderful. We took the boys to the LEGO store and bought them some sets. Elio, apparently, loved LEGO. I never knew that about him.

“That do have them in France and Italy, you know!” He said to me as we looked around the store.

“I never said they didn’t!” I said. “It’s just that that summer in Italy, I never saw any!”

“Of course not! Did you see any other toys I had? Heck no,” he said laughing. “Plus, I was too busy trying to impress you to have time for much else,” He said quietly.

I grinned at him. He grinned back.

When we got home I got to cooking a big lunch. I made chicken Alfredo and some garlic bread with some garlic butter I had made myself. I let Elio taste a little before putting it on the bread.

“Baby, that is absolutely delicious!” He said. 

Karen called and the boys spoke to her a bit. Michael excitedly told her about his LEGO set and the scary thunder the night before. She then chatted with Ben a little, and then Elio asked to talk to her. I was a little surprised but let her know and handed him the phone. 

“Karen, hi, it’s Elio,” he said pleasantly. “Listen, I was playing around with Ben on the piano yesterday evening and he was picking it up very quickly when I started showing him certain keys.” I smiled as I heard him talking. “I was wondering if you’d give me permission to start giving Ben some lessons.”

I felt so warm inside as I heard Elio talk. He was so sweet and considerate. He was so perfect. It was wonderful that he was involving Karen and making her a part of him wanting to teach Ben piano.

“Great! Thank you!” I heard him say. “No, it won’t be a normal lesson because he’s so young. It’ll be mostly play and I’ll teach him a few things here and there. We’ll see how he progresses and if he enjoys it I’ll be more than happy to spend all the time he wants on it with him,” Elio said.

After a while Elio said good bye and hung up. He looked at me with a triumphant look on his face. I was filled with adoration.

We went and ate. After we were done eating, Elio and the boys started building the LEGO sets in the living room. I cleaned up the kitchen. Once I was done I joined them. We had a lot of fun. Michael was very excited and did a wonderful job following along with the instructions.

It was almost 6 pm when Valerie came home. We greeted her and Michael showed her his LEGO. She sat on the couch and listened patiently as he talked about what he had just built. Elio had Ben on his lap and was building a small set with him. He was helping him along in putting the bricks together.

After a while we went and had dinner. I made more garlic bread. We finished up all the Alfredo and that made me very happy. We then had the rest of the cake. I cut some pineapple for Valerie and Ben had some as well. Michael said pineapple tastes funny so he didn’t have any.

After dinner we started getting the boys ready for bed. Tomorrow we were going to get Valerie moved into her new place. We decided she would watch the boys while Elio and I got whatever furniture she had in storage out and into her place. Least that’s where we would start. Valerie retired to her room.

We read to the boys before bed again and kissed them good night when they started yawning. Elio and I made our way to our room.

“So, I still have tomorrow off but then I have concerts Tuesday to Saturday,” he said with a sigh. He flopped down on the bed, fully dressed. He laid on his back. I took off my sweater and threw it in the hamper.

“Well, least I don’t have to go back till next year so, I’ll be here to take care of you,” I said to him. I took off my jeans and boxers and lastly my socks.

Elio had turned his head and was looking in my direction. He propped himself up on his elbows as I walked towards the bed. He had a very sexy half smile on his face. I loved how dark his gorgeous eyes looked.

I got on the bed and laid on top of him. He ran his hands up my arms and across my shoulders. I loved the way he was looking at me. He finally looked into my eyes and pulled me close and kissed me. “I don’t think there’s anything better than you naked and on top of me,” he said. His voice deep and breathless. I kissed his neck.

“I don’t know, maybe me naked and underneath you,” I said. I rolled over and pulled him on top of me. He sat up and pulled off his long sleeved shirt. He stood up on the bed and undid his jeans. I laughed as I watched him. His head almost hit the ceiling. He pushed his jeans and boxers down. He laid down beside me on the bed. I got up on my knees and finished pulling his jeans and boxers off. I pulled his socks off. He was on his back and I was on my knees in front of him. I took his left leg and placed his foot flat against my chest. I ran my hands up and down his leg slowly, caressing it. He closed his eyes and let out a soft, satisfied moan.

He liked this. Good. I kept massaging and caressing his leg slowly. I lifted it up and kissed the inside of his ankle. He opened his eyes slightly looking up at me. I rubbed my nose on his skin and kissed gently around his ankle. “Remember when you got that nosebleed?” I asked him softly.

He nodded. “You came looking for me,” he said.

“I sat there and rubbed your foot and then I kissed it,” I said as I ran my hand up and down his leg. “I wished so badly I could have kept going...” I said trialing off remember how I felt that day. I looked down at him now. I looked into his eyes. “I can keep going now,” I whispered. He nodded.

I kissed slowly up his leg as I caressed his skin. I slowly worked my way up to his knee. I kissed the inside of his knee. He chuckled a little bit. I laughed softly. I knew he had ticklish spots and I found them all absolutely endearing. I kissed all around his knee. I took my time. I didn’t have to rush this. This was all for my enjoyment. I slowly worked my way up above his knee to his thigh. I kissed all over this thigh and then worked my way to the inner thigh. I laid down on my stomach. I kept kissing his inner thigh and then closed my eyes and rubbed my cheek on it.

I felt his hand in my hair and I heard a soft moan from him again. I nuzzled the inside of his thigh, my nose and lips rubbing against his soft, beautiful flesh. I felt his body shift underneath me as he arched his back slightly. I nuzzled his inner thigh further and I let my lips kiss and caress him more. I slid my tongue out and licked along as I kissed up a little further.

“I love your skin right here,” I said said as I rubbed my cheek again against his inner thigh, my right hand running along the outside of his leg, from knee to hip. He moaned softly again in pleasure. I kept kissing him, my lips ever so lightly making contact with his skin. I opened my mouth and gave him open mouth kisses, putting more pressure on his skin.

He giggled at this. He moved a bit closer to me as he grabbed my hair and pulled on it a bit. I looked up at him and saw he had his eyes closed and a slight blush on his neck and cheeks. I hadn’t seen him blush in a while. Older, more mature and composed Elio didn’t blush anymore it seemed. Seeing him blushing now drove me absolutely crazy. I rubbed my nose and mouth on his inner thigh and bit him in the gentlest of ways. I kissed up from his groin to his hipbone. I looked up at him. His neck was still flushed. I went up and kissed it.

“The way you blush drives me crazy. So crazy,” I said as I sucked his neck gently. I wanted to kiss and suck all over. I loved every inch of his perfect, beautiful neck.

“Mmmm,” He moaned quietly, his eyes still closed, as he wrapped his arms and legs around me. I rubbed my hips on him. I was getting hard and so was he. I took hold of his knee and pulled it up so I could still rub along the side of his thigh as I placed adoring licks and kisses on his neck. I felt the vibrations on his moans on my lips. He was making these beautiful noises between moans and satisfied purrs and it was driving me even more crazy than seeing him blushing was.

I then ran my lips along his collar bone. I placed soft gentle kissed and licks. I opened my mouth and gave him more gentle bites. I rubbed my cheek on his collar bone as well and I felt his palms press down on my back as he pushed his hips up to me. His beautiful moans and purrs continued. He moved his body under me as he gently pushed his hips up and ran his hands up and down my back. My right hand was still caressing his thigh.

This felt so good. The closeness. The intimacy. His body and mine together. The touching, the kissing, the moaning. My mind was foggy in the best possible way. I felt him move away some I tried to pull him back as I continued kissing his shoulders now. I felt him reach down and stroke me. He was putting lube in me. I reached my hands down under him, grabbing his ass and tilting his hips up to me. I entered him in one swift motion.

He moaned his beautiful moan and I gently moved in and out of him as I continued kissing his shoulders. My hand went back to caressing his thigh. I felt so close to him. I always did, but even more so now. This felt so sweet and gentle and loving and just... right.

I nuzzled his neck as I moved in and out of him slowly. I kissed it gently and closed my eyes and enjoyed the feel of his body under me. I pulled his knee up more and pushed his hips up to me more. I kissed his chest.

“Oliver... Oliver...” Elio’s voice floated around the room. I loved the atmosphere around us. I felt so much love and desire mixed in.

“I love you so much,” I whispered softly. “So much.”

“I love you more,” Elio whispered back.

“Impossible,” I breathed out as kissed along his collarbone.

I picked up my pace slightly. “Turn me over, please,” Elio purred in my ear. I did as he asked turned him gently, quickly entering him again. I held him tight and went a bit quicker. I showered the back of his neck and shoulders with soft kisses and licks and gentle bites.

“You’re so amazingly perfect,” I breathed into the back of his neck. I felt as if my body was melting into his. He was pushing his hips back against me. I stayed in deep as he pushed his hips up and grinded them against me. I moaned as I focused on how good it felt to be in him. I kissed along his shoulder and sucked the base of his neck. I ran my right hand up his chest and gently wrapped it around his neck. The vibrations of his moans agains my palm.

I wrapped my left arm around his hips. I loved how his hips moved against my body.

“Fill me with your cum,” he said softly. Hearing him say that was all it took and in a few thrusts, I did as he asked. My whole body shivered as I climaxed. “Mmmmmmm,” he moaned. He wrapped his left arm behind and around me, keeping me in him while I came. I was panting into the back of his neck. I felt amazing. I closed my eyes. I didn’t even remember if I slid out of him or not before I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

 

* * *

 

I woke up to the sound of rain falling. I blinked my eyes open. I wasn’t sure what time it was. It was early, it seemed like, but it was hard to tell the time since it was overcast. I took a deep breath in. I came more to my senses and realized Elio wasn’t right up against me, as he normally was. I lifted my head slightly and looked at the bed and saw he was laying on his left side, looking at me. 

“Good morning baby,” he whispered.

“Good morning my love,” I said as I pulled him close. He giggled as I kissed his neck. “It was so wonderful last night,” I said softly as I kissed all around his face. “If you let me I’ll spend hours just worshipping every inch of your gorgeous body.”

“Mmmmmm,” He said cuddling into me and burying his face in my neck. “It was romantic and wonderful,” he said. 

“Yeah, a 180 from how it’s been lately with you in charge,” I said with a smile.

He lifted himself up slightly and looked down at me. “I’m sorry, do you not like that?” He asked me quietly.

“No, Elio, I don’t like it, I fucking LOVE IT!” I said, staring into his eyes. His face relaxed and he gave me a soft kiss. “You’re so incredibly sexy when you’re in control,” I said sliding my hand up his arm, “And I absolutely love giving you all of me in every way,” I whispered, somehow feeling a bit shy admitting it.

He smiled widely and kissed me. “It’s such a turn on having you submit to me,” he said in a quiet voice. I started getting hard just hearing him say that. Submitting. Yes, he was right.

“Yes,” I said. We looked into each other’s eyes. “It’s so...” I trailed off.

“Good? Fulfilling? Satisfying?” He asked, kissing me in between words. 

“All of the above,” I said quietly. I looked up at him. I felt as if I was submitting to him right now. “How does it make you feel when I submit?” I asked softly.

“Mmmm,” he closed his eyes a second. When they opened they were so intense. “I feel a rush, almost like a high,” he said. “You are sostrong and so incredibly gorgeous and beyond perfect,” he said. He kissed me. “All that and you’re submitting to me and only me.... mmmmm.”

He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. His lips along with what he just said to me turned me on so much. My heart was palpating. I closed my eyes and just let myself feel. I felt as if drifting into an extremely relaxed state of mind where nothing matter but he and I. As if we were all that existed. “Only you,” I said quietly as his perfect lips finally released mine.

“Open your eyes, baby,” I heard him say. I did slowly, blinking a couple of times as my eyes finally focused on his perfect face above mine.I finally focused. “You’re the most perfect lover,” he said to me. His eyes. They peered right into my soul. “You’re the most perfect partner.”

“I’m all this because of you,” I said. “You make me want to be the lover and partner you deserve.”

He slowly lowered his head towards me and I closed my eyes in anticipation of this gorgeous lips on mine.

“Daddy!! I’m HUNGRY!” Came Michael’s voice.

Elio and I both jumped. He laughed. I jumped out of the bed and quickly put on boxers and lounge pants.

“I’ll get you a shirt, it’s getting cold,” Elio said grabbing some of his boxers.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, my love,” I said and exited the room closing the door behind me.


	37. Moving Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valerie moves out...

We hit the ground running from the moment we exited the bedroom. I got the boys up and took them to the kitchen. Cheerios for Ben and Lucky Charms for Michael. Elio brought me a shirt like he said. 

I made pancakes. Valerie came out of her room as I was beginning to serve them. Once Elio and I had eaten, we got the boys dressed. We decided Valerie would drop Michael off at school. She took off in my car, taking Ben for the ride. 

Elio and I then went and rented a Budget truck and returned home. Valerie already had everything she needed packed. We went into the house and got her dresser and took apart her bed. We emptied her room in no time. We drove to her home and put her bed back together and took all the boxes she had to her room. We then went to her storage unit and got the rest of her stuff. We drove back to her home and put everything inside. I dropped Elio off at home and he followed me as I dropped the truck off. We drove back home. I looked at the time. It was almost 3 pm when we were done. Valerie told us Ben had been wonderful. Elio and I showered and then we all went to pick up Michael.

 

* * *

  

“Thank you so much!” Valerie said as she hugged Elio and I. “This was the easiest moving day ever!” She said laughing.

After picking Michale up from school, we had gone to the grocery store for Valerie to get food and whatever else she needed. I was helping her put the food away. Elio was chasing Ben around and Michael was on the couch watching cartoons.

“So, is there anything we missed? Anything you just realized you missed?”

“No, I think I’m all set!” She said looking around. “Thank you for all your help!” She said giving me another hug.

“Of course,” I said rubbing her back. “No problem. And you know anything you need I’m here. As much as Elio, I’m here to help with anything you need.”

“I know,” she said. She watched Elio scoop up Ben and then tickle him. Ben burst out laughing. Elio put him back down on the ground. 

“Again, again!” Ben said. Elio started chasing him again. 

Valerie laughed. “He’s going to be such an amazing dad,” she said softly. She glanced up at me.

“Oh I know. I know and I’m so, _so_ happy he’ll get to _be_ a dad. He’s so amazing.”

“Well, he already was one to your sons,” she said. 

“I know. But I’m glad he will have a child of his own that he’ll raise from day one. And Ben gets to be a big brother,” I said with a wide smile.

Valerie suddenly teared up. “So the baby will have two big brothers,” she said sniffling.

I put my arm around her shoulders. “Of course Val, we’re all one big family.” I said.

Elio glanced over, brow furrowed. He came to us carrying Ben. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Valerie said wiping her tears as she laughed. “I’m just being pregnant and emotional. Don’t mind me.” 

Elio let out a small laugh but glanced at me. His eyes were asking if everyone was ok. I nodded. He nodded back and went back to playing with Ben.

 

* * *

 

We got home and I made grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup for everyone. The boys didn’t like the soup that much but they ate the sandwiches. We went to the living room and Michael and Ben played on the floor while Elio and I relaxed on the couch.

 “So Valerie was ok?” 

“She was,” I said squeezing his hand. “She teared up when I told her Ben was going to be a big brother,” I said to him.

A beautiful smile spread across his lips slowly. “That’s true,” he said quietly. He looked at the boys and back at me.

“Hmmm,” he said. He looked at my sons again. “I’m thinking you’re hoping it’s a girl,” he said glancing my way.

I shrugged. “As long as the baby is healthy,” I said.

“Of course,” he said. We looked into each other’s eyes. We chuckled quietly.

“You?” I asked.

“It doesn’t matter. As you said, as long as he baby is healthy. I’ll be incredibly happy either way.” I nodded. I knew he meant it. “Have you thought of a name or names?” He asked me. I looked at him. There was a slight blush on his cheeks and neck again.

“Elio,” I said as I reached and caressed the beautiful pink spot on his neck. He closed his eyes and swallowed. I then caressed his pink cheek. He turned to face me. I leaned in and kissed him. “You look so beautiful when you blush. Why are you blushing?” I asked with a half smile.

“I don’t know,” he said shrugging. He looked up at me through his eyelashes. My heart started racing.

“Yes you do. Tell me.” I whispered as I caressed his face and kissed him again.

“Mmmmmm,” He said softly as he tilted his lips up to me, ready to accept my kiss. “I just feel so loved. And the thought of us having a baby has filled me with lots of emotion.” I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to his again. I kissed him for a good while.

I pulled back and opened my eyes and looked into his. “I love the way you say things,” I whispered to him.

 

* * *

 

Elio had taken Ben to play at the piano. I was sitting on the armchair we had moved to the sunroom and Michael had at first played on the piano a bit but then moved to the floor where he had his two Superman’s.

I watched as Elio showed Ben some more keys. I was still in awe at how quickly and naturally Ben was picking this up. After about half an hour Elio just let Ben play. “He’s so amazing!” Elio said to me as Ben sat on his lap and touched the keys.

It was a pleasant moment. I watched as Elio smoothed our Ben’s hair and gave him a kiss on the head. Soon after we took the boys for their bath and changed into their pajamas. We then all sat on their bed, the boys between us and started reading.

I know Valerie had always given us our space and was always trying to be here as less as possible but now that the house was ours, just ours, it was an amazing feeling. 

It started to rain as we were on our third book, The Cat In The Hat. Ben laughed at the rhymes.

“Is so silly!” He said when I asked him what was so funny. We all laughed. After another book we kissed them good night and went to our room. 

I grabbed Elio around the waist and pulled him up to me and kissed him. I loved this. This was my life now.

 

* * *

 

Tuesday morning I awoke with Elio in my arms and my nose deep in his curls. I loved the way he smelled. I stretched a bit but kept my arms around him. I kissed the back of his neck softly. After a moment he stirred awake. He turned around to face me. 

He surprised me when he grabbed me and started kissing me earnestly. “Quickly, before the boys wake up!” He whispered. He started pulling down my pants.

I laughed as I kissed him and pulled his pants down as well. I stroked him. He was so hard. He got up on his knees and slid his pants off. He reached for the lube.

“On your knees, spread them wide,” He said with authority. My heart started racing. I did as he told me to. I felt his hands caressing my back. He entered me quickly. I groaned at the sting of him being in me. He pushed himself in deeper. He moaned. “Fuck, yes. So good.”

I closed my eyes and pushed my palms up against the headboard. Elio started slowly, caressing my back and hips and down the back of my thighs. He was praising me, telling me how beautiful I was and how much he loved my perfect body.

I loved hearing all this. He talked how much I turned him on. He started going faster. He told me he wanted to contain himself and make himself last for a long time but couldn’t help but fuck me. I was pushing my hips back against him as I pressed my palms against the headboard. I groaned as he fucked me deep. I loved how he did this. I loved him being rough and relentless. It hurt but it hurt in such an amazing way. I felt completely owned by him in these moments. I yearned for it.

“You want it harder don’t you?” He asked me panting.

“Yes. Harder. Please.” I groaned. My voice wasn’t much louder than a whisper. I moaned and whimpered as he went harder. “Elio, Elio...” I moaned as I laid my face down on a pillow underneath me. I felt him bite my back hard. I cried out softly.

“Come,” He said. I reached down and stroked myself as fast as I could. I came very quickly. “Mmmmm,” Elio slowed down. He leaned over and kissed my back. “You’re so good and obedient, baby.” He said.

I felt a warmness spread through me as he said that. “I want to be,” I said softly.

“Oh you are, baby, you are.” He said kissing my back. He groaned as he started thrusting into me again. “Tell me, what you want baby,” he whispered.

“I want you to fuck me until you can’t anymore,” I said.

“Is that what you want? What you need?” He asked me. His voice was so deep. He gently started biting my back.

“Yes,” I said panting. I wanted to please him. I neededto please him.

“What if you can’t take it?” He asked as he thrusted in deep with grunt. I cried out as he went in deep. It was deep. I suddenly wondered if I could take it. “Lay down.” He said. I did. He fucked me roughly. I felt his fingertips digging into my skin. “God, fuck, yes, yes, yes.”

I loved hearing Elio like that. He continued talking about how good I felt. How amazing it was to fuck me. How I was so tight and perfect. A felt waves of ecstasy wash when I heard his words. I suddenly felt Elio climax. In moaned as did he. He laid on top of me, moaning and shaking. He caressed me and kissed me as he orgasmed.

I felt him panting as he kept caressing me. He stayed inside me a while. He kissed my back and murmured to me. “Thank you baby. You always please me in ways I never thought were possible,” he said panting.

“I’ll do anything for you,” I said.

“I only want you to do what you want though,” he said.

“That’s all I’ve ever done,” I said.

“Mmmm,” he said. He kissed my back and laid his warm cheek on it. “My baby,” he said softly. He rolled onto the bed beside me. He pulled me to him. “I’m so happy,” he said.

I kissed his chest. “Me too,” I whispered.


	38. Mother!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As in Oliver’s mother....

Elio got up before me.

“I’ll get the boys and get their breakfast started. I’ll drop Michael off at school. You take your time and recuperate, baby,” he said with a soft chuckle. He kissed my cheek and patted my backside.

I chuckled as well, but he was right. I felt like a truck had run me over and I was ok with laying there for a moment longer.

 

* * *

 

“Baby,” Elio’s soft voice seemed to come out of nowhere. “Oliver, baby.”

“Hmmm... hmm what? What happened?” I lifted myself up. I was confused for a moment.

“Karen is on the phone. I told her you were sleep but she said it was important,” Elio said.

I furrowed my brow. I got up and pulled on some boxers and jogging pants and walked out to the kitchen. I saw Ben playing in the living room. I must have fallen back to sleep. I was wide awake now. The phone was on the kitchen counter. I picked it up. “Hello?”

“Oliver, your mom called me.” She said quietly.

“When?” I asked. _Fuck._  

“Yesterday afternoon,” she sighed. “Saturday was the day my mother found out about our divorce,” she said quietly. “Needless to say, she wasn’t happy, you remember.”

“Yeah,” I said. I remember her nasty words about Elio.

“I mean, I didn’t care. It’s none of their business. But I guess she decided to call your mother and since our home phone is the only number your mother has she decided to call me.”

“I’m sorry about that,” I said pressing my thumb and index finger to my eyes. I felt a headache coming on.

I heard her sigh. “It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault.”

“What did she say?” I asked. I felt my heart pounding.

“She asked me what happened. I said we were unhappy and decided this was for the best. She asked me for your phone number and I said I didn’t have one for you. She asked me where you were living. I said I didn’t know but somewhere near campus. It was nerve wrecking. Then she told me she was going to call me next week and she knew I would have at least a phone number for you by then. She told me she advised me on getting her a phone number for you. That she didn’t want to have to hop on a plane and show up at UCLA.”

I sighed and shook my head. “I’m sorry, Karen. I’ll take care of this. She’ll never bother you again.”

“Ok,” she said. “I’m sorry. I know Elio said you were sleeping but I’m on my lunch and this was the only time I had. I didn’t want to ruin your night last night so I waited till today.” 

“That’s ok. Don’t worry. Like you said, it’s not anyone’s fault.” We said good bye and I hung up. I turned around. I looked at Elio.

“What’s wrong?” Elio asked.

I ran my hand through my hair. “My mother called Karen. Karen’s mom just found out about our divorce this past Saturday.”

Elio furrowed his brow. “But they were there thanksgiving,” he said. “Karen invited me. How would you have explained my presence if I had decided to go?”

“I would have called you my friend,” I said shrugging. “It’s part of the reason I wasn’t looking forward to going because they didn’t know and we would have had to pretend.”

“Why the fuck do adults have to pretend anything,” Elio said shaking his head and crossing his arms, his anger clearly showing. “Why did Karen’s parents not know? Do your parents know?”

I looked at Elio as I took a deep breath in. He was angry. As he should be but I suddenly felt angry at the situation as well. “Listen, Karen’s parents are the same as mine. Ok. It’s not so fucking easy!” I leaned on the kitchen counter and gripped the edge. I closed my eyes. The kitchen seemed to be spinning. I felt my chest tighten.

I felt Elio’s hands on my back. “I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry. I know.” He kissed my shoulder. I looked down at his beautiful eyes. I calmed down. I felt grounded. I put my arms around him. “I’m sorry. Tell me what happened?” He said in a soothing voice.

“Well, Karen’s mom found out and she knows I’m with you,” I said.

“I’m guessing that was horrible in her eyes?”

“She had a few choice words but Karen shut her down and told her if she spoke badly of you or our relationship she wouldn’t be allowed to see the boys again.” 

“Wow,” Elio said.

I nodded. “Well, guess she was so unhappy, she called mine to tell her we were divorcing and then my mother called Karen.”

“What did she say?” Elio asked.

“Well, she asked her for my new number and asked where I was living. Karen told her she didn’t know and didn’t have a number for me. Then she told Karen she would call her next week and she was sure Karen would have at least a phone number for her. That she didn’t want to hop a plane and show up at UCLA.”

Elio’s eyes widened slightly. “That’s intense,” he said. I nodded. “What are you going to do?” Elio asked me.

“I’ll call her. I don’t want her harassing Karen.” I said. I closed my eyes. 

I felt Elio kiss my shoulder again and hold me. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“It’s ok,” I said rubbing his arm. “She’s my problem.”

“I’m with you through it all too,” Elio said. 

I smiled and turned my face towards him. I kissed him gently. “I know. You’re amazing.”

He looked up at me. “I’m sorry I got angry earlier. That was extremely inconsiderate of me. It will never happen again.”

I looked into his eyes. I held his face in my hands. “Elio, you’ve been so understanding. You don’t owe me any apologies. It’s ok.” I kissed him again.

“So, um, why would your mother call and not your dad. I thought he was the one with the problem with the same sex relationship?” 

“They both hate it. I don’t care, I’m financially independent now so I don’t need them. I don’t know why it was her and not him. I don’t know if Karen’s mom told her. If she did that could be why it was her and not him. He would cease talking to me right away. I don’t know. I don’t know.” I put my face in my hands. “I thought they would never affect my life again and here I fucking am.” I was surprised to feel tears in my eyes. I looked up and wiped my tears. I looked at Elio.

I could see the worry in his face. “Baby, tell me what to do and how to fix this. I will do all in my power to fix this.” He ran his hands up my arms and held my face. He caressed my face and down my neck. I closed my eyes as tears slid down. I took a deep breaths in and out.

I opened my eyes. Elio wiped my tears away. He kissed my cheeks. I held him. “It’s ok. I’ll be ok,” I said. I believed it though. I had been waiting for this moment for a long time. “I’m safe now. I’m with you and I’m happy and it’s just... it’s time. This is me. I’m not ashamed and I’m not scared of them.”

“Yes, baby. You’re safe. I will always protect you,” he said as he pulled me in for a kiss. It felt wonderful. I felt my body relax as his lips pressed to mine. He held me a good while. “I have a concert tonight,” Elio said.

“I know,” I said.

“So, when were you thinking of calling her? I want to be here.”

I nodded. “Maybe after lunch?” I said. I looked at my watch and saw it was 11:56 am. “And it’s almost lunch!” I said. I rubbed my eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to fall back sleep earlier.”

“Baby you don’t have to apologize about that,” Elio said caressing my chest. He gave me a sexy smile. “I sorta wore you out, so...” he trailed off and shrugged his shoulders.

I laughed and pulled him close again. That hot sex seemed a million years ago now. I tried to not feel that way though. My parents weren’t going to ruin anything anymore, I thought. I ran my hands up and down his back and kissed his neck. The memories from a few hours ago came rushing back. 

“Mmmmmm,” I said as I gently kissed his neck. “You did. You take total control and take what you want and I want to do nothing else but please you and submit to you,” I whispered softly. I kissed him.

“Thank you for that,” Elio whispered to me. He held me.

We went out to the living room and played with the Ben for a moment. I realized I was starving. I told Elio I was going to start cooking lunch. He nodded and asked me if he could help.

I didn’t need the help but it was wonderful just having him there. He had picked up Ben and brought him in the kitchen with him. I decided to make pizza. I had one that was like a personal size for Ben and I made one with a lot more toppings for us. I slid them in the oven.

Once they were done, we sat down and ate. Elio helped Ben along a little here and there. I could hardly eat. Elio notices and caressed my hand with his. I helped a lot. Finally we finished eating and I cleaned up.

Ben went to play with his trains. He had some on the kitchen floor. Elio looked at me and gave me a reassuring smile. I got up and walked to the phone. “I’m right here,” Elio said. He came and stood beside me and held me. I held him as well and felt better.

“Ok, I can do this,” I said.

“Yes, you can,” he told me.

I picked up the phone and dialed my parent’s number. It was still the same from when I was a kid. I took a deep breath in.

“Hello.”

“It’s Oliver. I need to speak to mother,” I said.

A pause. “Yes, just a moment.”

“Ma’am, Mr. Oliver on the phone for you,” I heard the distant voice say. I didn’t know this voice. The last maid had probably quit after getting sick of the abuse from my mother. She dealt with the household help, not my father. I glanced at Elio. He took my hand and squeezed it. 

“Oliver, why did I have to hear from your mother in law that you and Karen had lost your minds and decided to divorce? I will _not_ have anyone else apart from you call me and give me news of my son. Have some respect!”

“Good afternoon, mother. How are you?” I said sarcastically. I her her huff with annoyance. “She’s no longer my mother in law. She’s just another bitter old hag. I was planning to tell you on my annual call to wish you a pleasant Hanukkah.” I kept my voice calm. I didn’t want her to know she had upset me.

 “Have you and Karen lost your minds?”

“No, we’ve found them. That’s why we’re divorced.”

“Has it been finalized?”

“Pretty much.”

“If it hasn’t been finalized it can be stopped. You will stop this.”

“No.”

“Have you _no_ shame. Your children will grow up without a father. Is that what you want?” 

I clenched my jaw. Elio notice and stood closer to me. He leaned his forehead on my chest and it helped soothe me. I made sure my voice was as calm as ever. “For my sons to grow up without a father it would mean I was not present in their lives. I am very much present in their lives. Karen and I have worked everything out. This is what we want and it is no one else’s business but ours.”

“Where are you living?”

“I’ve moved into a home in Holmby Hills,” I said looking down at Elio. He leaned back and looked up at me, giving me a soft smile.

“What happened to the home you had?”

“We’ll do what divorced couples do, mother, we’re selling it.”

“You didn’t think of telling me or inviting me to your new home?”

“You never even saw the one I had, so why would anything be different with this new one?” 

“I hope it’s in a respectable neighborhood.”

I rolled my eyes and clinched my fist. “It’s in a wonderful neighborhood.”

“You need to look for a new wife. Someone still of child bearing age so she can give me a granddaughter. Don’t date any woman with children. If she’s divorce, that’s fine, just don’t take in another man’s children. Maybe you’ll do the right thing and marry a Jewish girl this time. Had Karen been Jewish you probably would have never divorced.” I couldn’t imagine the stupidity coming out of her mouth. She thought it would be horrible to take in another man’s children? That’s exactly what Elio had done with me. 

I felt a surge of anger I hadn’t felt in years. I took a deep breath, Elio rubbed the back of my hand. “When I was marrying Karen you didn’t care if she was Jewish,” I said. “And I will do no such thing. I do not plan to marry a nice Jewish girl or any girl, ever.” Elio looked up at me chuckling.

“What a _disappointment_ you are Oliver! Give me your new phone number and address.”

“Only if you promise to never call Karen again,” I said.

I heard her laugh. “So she’s still scared of me? Good. What if I wish to speak to my grandchildren?”

“You can call me here and ask if they’re with me at the moment, but somehow I don’t think that’ll be an issue, as you have never once called them. Now promise me to leave Karen alone.”

“Fine. I have nothing to say to the woman that couldn’t keep my son happy anyway,” she said.

I shook my head and gave her my phone number and address.

“Did you get a bigger and nicer home at least? You two didn’t have much money when you moved since you were doing that tutoring.” 

“That tutoring paid the bills.” I said.

“Yes, just barely. You could have bought a home in a gated residential area if you had been smart enough to be a doctor or gone into business with your father.”

“And be chained to you all my life? No thank you,” I said. The anger was audible in my voice but I didn’t care.

“Well, you’ll be sorry you didn’t take after your father when you see your meager salary not be enough now that Karen will take you to court for child support!”

I balled my hand up into a fist. I wanted to punch something. Elio took my fist and kissed my fingers. I opened my hand up and he kissed my palm. My anger subsided some. 

“I don’t have to worry about anything. My partner makes more than enough money,” I said. My heart was racing a million miles an hour.

“Partner? What partner? Have you got a business?”

Elio laid his left hand on my chest. I could see his worried expression. I caressed his cheek.

“No. I mean like a life partner. Someone I’m with.”

“What? You’re _with_ someone?”

“I am,” I said.

“What does she do that makes her so much money?”

I took a deep breath in.

“ _He_ is pianist. He performs and composes,” I said. Silence. I felt Elio wrap his arms around me. My heart was racing still.

“What did you just say?” She said. Her tone was deadly. It actually scared me.

“I said HE -“

“I heard you. YOU will not be with any man Oliver. You will not SHAME this family in that way. You -“

“I WILL DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WISH!” I said. “And I am. And Karen knows and she’s fine with it.” 

I could hear her heavy breathing. “After all we’ve done. Your father and I. This is how you repay us?” 

I laughed. “I made myself mother. With no help from you. I’ve been in love with him for over seven years and I’m finally happy. Ok? HAPPY!” I looked down at Elio. His eyes were slightly widened. I leaned down and kissed him. “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and I don’t give a fuck if you like it or not.” She said nothing. I smiled. “Don’t call Karen again,” I said.

“Fine.” She said.

I hung up.


	39. All Yours For The Taking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing after Oliver’s conversation with his mother...

“Are you ok?” Elio asked me as he held me.

“Yes,” I replied. I let out a deep breath.

“Ok,” he said, caressing my back. “This is ok. Baby, you did amazing. You’re amazing,” he said leaning back and taking my face in his hands.

“Thank you,” I said to him. I closed my eyes. My heart was still pounding a million miles an hour.

“Come here,” he said softly. He pulled me to him and held me close. He was murmuring softly in my ear. I closed my eyes and focused on his soothing voice. Had I just done that? Had I really just told my mother I was with Elio. Did I tell her I was in love?

“I never thought I’d ever do that,” I said.

“You did, baby. You did.”

I pulled back and looked at his face. I looked over his beautiful face and full rosy lips. I glanced over the light freckles on his nose. I finally looked at his eyes. “Your eyes are so dreamy,” I said to him.

He laughed. He kissed me. “So, you’re ok?”

“I am, my love, thank you. I’m gonna shower and dress. I’ll have to leave soon to get Michael. You’ll be gone by the time I get home,” I said kissing him.

“Yes, ok. It’s ok. I’ll come home right after and we’ll have some time together,” he said. 

“I think I’m gonna drop by and see Karen and tell her what happened after I get Michael.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Elio said.

I gave him a kiss and went and took a quick shower and got dressed. Ben was still in his pajamas so I dressed him. 

After spending some more time together it was time for Ben and I to leave. I kissed Elio and told him I knew he would have an amazing concert. He kissed me and gave Ben a kiss on his forehead. We left.

 

I drove to Thousand Oaks and was waiting patiently, holding Ben waiting for Michael’s class to get out.

“Oh, hello Oliver. How are you?”

I looked around and saw the voice came from a woman, typical blond soccer mom, with a toddler in tow.

“Hi, how are you?” I answered pleasantly. I didn’t know how she knew my name, it must mean we must have talked some time? Maybe during the open house at the school. Karen and I pretty much introduced ourselves to everyone I gave her a smile.

“I’m wonderful,” she said and looked around. “So I hope I’m not being nosy, but,” yeah, this meant she was about to be nosy, “I’ve notice you and Karen seems to be rotating week to week on picking Michael up. Are you...”

I again gave her a smile. “Yeah,” I said.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

I nodded. “It’s the best thing to do.” I looked away and hoped she got the hint I didn’t want to engage in more conversation. 

“Yeah my husband and I called it quits a while back,” she continued, hint not taken.

“Hhmmm yeah,” I said.

“So, uh, where are you staying at? You have an apartment around here?”

“Oh no, my lover has a home. I just moved in,” I said with a shrug.

Her eyes widened and I swear she blushed. “Lover! Wow. That’s intense!” She said with a chuckle. She wouldn’t look me in the eyes.

“It is. It’s the only word that truly encompasses it all though,” I said.

The kids were finally out. Michael saw me and ran towards me. I hugged him with my free arm and then took his hand. 

“Later!” I called out to blond soccer mom. She smiled and waved at blond soccer mom.

 

* * *

 

The boys and I drove to Karen’s home. I still had my old keys so I let myself in. I still had some things here I thought maybe I could take more to Elio’s. We hadn’t been there long when I heard Karen pull up the drive way. 

I had given the boys a snack and was with them in the kitchen. I got up and walked out.

“Hey!” I said when Karen walked in.

“Hey!” She answered looking surprised. “I didn’t... well, I wasn’t expecting you guys.”

“Yeah, I know. I should have called,” I said. That was the truth. “But, I just wanted you to know I talked to my mother. She won’t be bothering you anymore.”

“Oh!” She looked surprised. “Oh my god, did you tell her about Elio?” Karen asked whispering. I nodded. She gasped and put her hand to her mouth. “Oh god, what did she say?”

“Not much. But I was called a disappointment and an absent father and some other shit that’s escapes my mind at the moment,” I said with a shrug and a smile.

“Wow,” she said softly. “But that’s a huge step and you took it. That’s amazing though. How does it feel?”

“I won’t lie is was nerve wrecking. I thought I was going to pass out. Elio was there with me. Anyway, with each second that passes I’m feeling better and I’m glad I told her,” I said.

We walked to the kitchen and sat down. We were chatting more. I suddenly noticed she was wringing her hands slightly and glancing at the clock on the wall. I knew this behavior. “Do you have somewhere to go? You’re acting like you’re running late,” I said. 

“I have plans, I’m not late though. But, yeah. I have plans.” She said this all kind of quietly.

“You have a date,” I said. I wasn’t asking. I knew her.

She looked at the clock. “Maybe not a DATE, date. I’m just meeting someone for coffee.”

I chuckled. “Ok boys! Give mom a hug!” She got up and Michael jumped off his chair and I put Ben down. She hugged and kissed both.

“Ok! You have fun,” I said chuckling again.

“I will try. Thank you,” she said. She seemed to have a slight blush.

“Ok! Later!” I said as I opened the door and stepped out with the boys.

“Bye!” She said.

I put the boys in the car and drove home.

 

* * *

 

It was past 10:30 pm. The boys were in bed and I was in the living room reading Meditations when I hear Elio pull into the drive way. I felt butterflies in my stomach. I always felt them when he came home. I walked to the front door and opened it. I watched as he walked up. He wad a knee length black coat on with a white button up and black slacks. He looked up at me as he walked towards the door.

“Welcome home,” I said to him.

He stepped in and closed the door behind him. He leaned in and kissed me. “Thank you,” He said softly caressing my face.

I took his hand and kissed his palm. “Are you hungry?”

“Not tonight,” he said. He took off his jacket and hung it on the coatrack we had by the door.

“A glass of wine then?” I asked him.

“Nah,” He said turning to face me. He slid his hands in his pockets.

“Ok,” I said softly. “Are you ready for bed?” I asked him.

“Yeah. After I unwind,” he said glancing my way as we walked down the hallway. We reached our bedroom and he opened the door, but stood back and let me go inside first. I stepped in. I felt this slight sense of nervousness. In a good way, of course. I wondered what he meant by unwinding. I turned and watch him come in and close the door quietly behind him. He slid his hands in his pockets again. He gave me a sweet smile. He took a deep breath in and out. “I’ve been thinking all day about that phone call with your mother.” He said. 

“Have you?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said, nodding his head slowly.

“What about it?”

“The part where you told her you’ve been in love with me for over seven years and you were finally happy,” he said, tilting his head slightly.

I nodded. “It’s the truth,” I said.

“I know,” he replied. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly. He lifted his chin a bit. “Undress for me.” He said. 

I felt goosebumps all over my body. I felt myself beginning to get hard. I reached back with my right hand and grabbed the back of my shirt, pulling it over my head and down my arms. I looked at him. He had his feet, shoulder width apart, hands in his pocket still. I saw his eyes wondered over my chest.

I hooked my thumbs on the waistband of my jogging pants and pushed them down over my boxers. I kicked them off. I was about to take off my boxers when he held up his right hand and shook his head. I stopped. I loved how his eyes where everywhere but on mine. I watched as his smile grew wider as he slowly walked towards me, his eyes taking me in. 

“I know it took a lot of courage, baby,” he finally looked into my eyes. “Just hearing you say it...” he trailed off raising his eyebrows. “It just makes it all the more real. Our past. Our present.” I nodded. I felt hypnotized by his gaze. His beautiful eyes felt like they could see into my soul. I was filled with complete love and adoration for him at this moment. “Our future,” he whispered.

“I’m so excited about our future,” I said.

“As am I,” he said. He took his right hand out of his pocket and I watched as he reached for my chest. He slowly touched the tip of his ring finger, then middle finger, then index finger to the center of my chest, as if he was playing a broken chord on my skin. He repeated this. His beautiful fingers slowly sliding down my body. “Do you like that?” He asked me.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“You’re the most beautiful instrument I’ve played,” he said. I felt myself blush. He smiled at this. “Unbutton my shirt,” he said. 

I reached for his shirt and untucked it. I then started with the top button and slowly worked my way down. “May I touch your chest?” I asked softly as his milky smooth skin was exposed. He nodded and I slid my hands across, pressing my palms against his nipples. I bit my bottom lip. I yearned to lick and suck them. I looked at him. I wonder if I could ask.

“What is it?” He asked raising an eye brow.

“I want to lick and suck -“

“In time baby. Get on your knees,” he said.

I did as he asked and got on my knees. I looked up at him. He ran the tip of his index finger along my jaw. He grazed my cheek with the back of his fingers. “You’re exquisite,” He said softly.

“So are you,” I told him.

He stepped a bit closer to me. I hugged him hurriedly and kissed the skin right above thewaist of his pants, bellow his belly button. I rubbed my nose in it as I hungrily gave him open mouth kisses so my tongue could graze his skin. His skin was soft but the muscles underneath so firm. I couldn’t get enough.

“Mmmmm. So eager to please,” he said as he gently pulled my head back by my hair. It didn’t hurt at all, he was very gentle about it, but it was understood I was not allowed to do that yet. “Hands down, put them at your sides.” I let out a breath, slightly frustrated by being told I couldn’t do what I wanted to. I let go of him and put my hands down by my sides as he instructed. I looked up at him and our eyes locked. “You must be patient, baby,” he said caressing my face again, his eyes staring into mine. He bit his bottom lip as he looked over my face with such intensity. It almost felt like a hunter enjoying the look of his prey. I was so turned on. “Wait for daddy to give you permission and give you instruction on what I want you to do.”

I felt a rush from my head down to my toes and I felt my cock harden as he said that. My heart raced. “Yes, daddy,” I whispered back. Saying the words made me tremble. Fuck, I thought to myself. Fuck. Fuck. I closed my eyes and tried to compose myself. This in full display of him, as he was still holding my hair, tilting my head black. 

“Mmmmm,” I heard him say again as I felt him lift caress my chin. “Open your eyes baby,” he instructed. I tentatively looked up at him. “Do you want to be good for daddy?”

“Yes,” I whispered. I swallowed. “I want to be good for you, daddy,” I said and again I felt a trembling from deep within my core as the words escaped my lips. My breathing was ragged. I felt almost shy looking at him. I couldn’t believe this was me. I was so turned on by this.

“Good,” he said, letting go of my hair. I quickly looked down again. I couldn’t begin to explain what I felt. It thrilled me, I knew that much. I just never thought I’d be the type to be thrilled by this. But the fact that Elio was so dominant in our sexual life was also something I have never thought of or thought I’d enjoy this immensely.

“Undo my pants,” he said. I reached up and did as he asked. I unbuttoned them and opened the zipper. I looked up at him and he nodded so I let them fall. He stepped out of them. He was in his boxers. I stared hungrily at his groin and looked up at him. He caught sight of my eyes. He caressed my cheek. “All in good time,” he said.

I nodded. “Get up, baby,” he instructed me. I did. “Take your boxers off,” he said. I slipped them off me. I loved how he looked at me. My cock was hard and throbbing and weeping. He gently ran the back of his index finger on the underside of my cock, from the base to the tip. I moan escaped me. He put his index finger to my lips and I licked the wetness off it. He leaned in and kissed me and slipped his tongue in my mouth as he kissed me for a moment. He pulled back. He walked around, circling me. I felt his hands on my shoulder blades as he leaned in close to me. I felt his soft lips on my back. His hands slid down and I felt his hands on my ass as he squeezed me. Hard. My cock twitched. He ran his hands around to my front and up my torso, stopping to touch and squeeze my nipples. I groaned. He circled around to face me again. “Stroke yourself, but don’t climax,” he said sternly. 

I reached down and stroked myself slowly. I took long deep breaths and tried to slow my heart down. He smiled and watched me and told me how beautiful I was. I loved when he said that. It was such a turn on. He stepped right up to me. He dropped his boxers. “Stroke them together,” he said. His hard on hitting my hand. I gladly took him into my hands, using both of them I stroked us together. I grunted and moaned. I loved the guttural sounds he was making. He grabbed my biceps and squeezed them. He reached around me and grabbed my ass again, squeezing me and pushing my hips to his.

“That’s enough,” he said. “Go bend over the side of the bed.” I walked to the bed and did as he asked. “Spread your legs wider.” His voice came from my left, so I assumed he was getting the lube. I did so. I felt his hand smack my right ass cheek. I hissed at the pain. I saw the lube as he threw it in the bed, followed by a towel. I felt him grab my ass and spread me open as enter me. I moaned and pushed my hips to him as he filled me. He stayed in deep. I heard him pant.

“You want this baby?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“How do you want it?”

“Anyway you want to give it to me. I only want to please you.”

I felt his hands caress my back. “Mmmmm. You are too good to me,” I felt his lips along my shoulders. I felt his hands slide up and grab my shoulders as he began to fuck me. He pushed me forward and I felt his right leg go up as he propped his knee on the bed. I grabbed the sheets as he pressed my chest and cheek into the mattress. It was intense. I shut my eyes and groaned. He pushed down on my shoulders. This went on for a while. I was pushed down onto the mattress and it surprised me how in complete physical control he was of me. I loved it though. He slowed down after what seemed like a long, long while and started going in and out more slowly and gently. I felt him lay his body on me.

“I tell myself each and every time to not start off in a rush and then we get to it, and I just can’t help myself. You’re so fucking sexy,” said his breathless voice. I felt myself get warm all over.

“I’m glad I make you loose control,” I replied.

“In every single way baby,” he told me. “Come for daddy.”

I reached down and came with a few strokes. Elio kisses my back and started thrusting into me again. He still had his knee up on the bed. He kept murmuring to me. I loved that. Everything from how perfect I was, to how amazing I felt, to how each and every time was better than the last. He whispered how much he loved me and needed me and how I was made just for him. I moaned. As if I wasn’t feeling amazing enough, his words pushed me over the edge and I felt as if my body was floating.

“And your skin is so perfect, baby. Every inch of your skin is pure perfection.” His lips were on my skin again. He seemed to have found a rhythm and it felt as if he wasn’t planning to stop any time soon. I was going to feel this for a few days. His hands were grabbing my shoulders and I felt him lay his elbows on my back as he kept going. After a moment I felt myself getting hard again. Elio showed no signs of slowing down. “So good,” he groaned as I felt him straighten up.

I pushed up on my elbows. “I’m hard again,” I told him.

“Good,” he moaned. “We’re gonna put that to good use.” He tightened his grip on my shoulders and he went hard and rough again. He relentlessly fucked me until he came. His groans were out of this world. He laid on me a moment, until he caught his breath. I felt him slip out and saw him grab the towel. “You ok, baby?” He asked as he rubbed my lower back. I nodded. I saw him get up on the bed. I climbed in after him. I grabbed the lube and put it on.

I saw him turn on his back. I got between his legs and sat down on my feet. I grabbed his hips, he wrapped his legs around me and I slid into him. He arched his back as I began thrusting in. I was already close but I wanted to last as long as I could. I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing. I opened my eyes and looked at his beautiful body as I slid in and out of him. I felt his right leg wrap around me and felt him slide his left leg up, putting his foot flat on my chest.

“So fucking sexy,” I said as I kept my left hand on his hip but slid my right hand up his leg. I grabbed it and leaned in and kissed everywhere I could reach on his leg. I watched him arch his back and grab the sheets around him. I was getting closer. I thrusted in harder and faster. I came deep in him. I pushed myself in and stayed in, I pulled his body to mine and kept him in place until I was done.

Once I started to soften, I gently slid him down on the bed. I grabbed the towel and cleaned myself up and laid down beside him. I pulled him close. He was still panting slightly. Once our breathing had slowed down to normal he turned to face me. He had a huge grin on his face. “I’ve been wanting to have you call me that for the longest fucking time. I have fantasized about it, SO much you have no idea!” He said pulling me to him and kissing me.

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. He was so gorgeous. “Why didn’t you just say it?”

“Seriously? Hey, Oliver, how about next time we fuck, you call me daddy?” He rolled his eyes.

I let out a sigh. “I loved it. God I loved it. It’s such a damn turn on,” I leaned in and kissed him more. “Your lips,” I whispered softly. 

“They’re all yours for the taking,” he answered. I kissed him. I pulled back, looking deep into his eyes. I had been thinking of something myself but didn’t know if I was being silly or not. “What is it baby?” He asked me. He knew. He always knew.

“Well, there was something on my mind. It’s no big deal.”

“Ok, tell me, please,” he said in his gentle voice. He was caressing my chest.

“Remember the CD release party? And Lindsay called me your boyfriend and you said partners because we’re not 12?” My stomach felt like it was in knots.

“Yeah,” Elio said. He scooted closer to me and kissed me. He looked into my eyes. “Baby, I’m sorry. You like the term boyfriend more than partner?”

“Yeah,” I said softly. “Yes, Elio. I’m so proud to be your boyfriend.” I said.

“Oh, baby,” he said softly as he pulled me close. “You’re the best boyfriend in the world. You are the most incredible boyfriend and I’m so sorry I did that. That won’t happen again, baby.” He kissed me.

“It’s alright,” I said feeling elated. I felt so loved and taken care of.

“Won’t happen again, baby.”

“Thank you, daddy,” I said. I felt goosebumps all over my body. I held him tight. I buried my face into his neck. He smelled so good. So perfect. I felt him caress my arm and the back of my head with his perfect hands. I drifted off to sleep.


	40. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies and welcome to chapter 40!
> 
> I just want to take a moment and just thank each and everyone of you that has been reading my little story! Everyone of you that had left kudos and comments... I truly appreciate you all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! 
> 
> And now to the story!  
> I know some of you also read my other story and I know we just had Elio’s birthday in that one! It’s just a happy accident! 
> 
> Enjoy my loves!  
> Hugs <3

The rest of the week seemed to fly by. Elio had concerts for the rest of the week and he told me on Friday that more than likely the conductor would be over quite often beginning in January as they decide on pieces for the Beethoven Spotlight concerts.  

As he spoke about the Spotlight concerts I noticed his tone would change and he would tense up a bit. I suddenly realized this was nerves. It amazed me because he was always so confident. When he would tense I would touch him anywhere I could. His hand mostly, but if we were close enough I’d caress his face and neck like he had done to me before. If we were in bed I’d caress his chest. He would relax after a while. 

Another thing that was totally affected by his sudden increase in stress at work was how often we were having sex. That, I had absolutely no complaints about. I did notice the more stressed he was under, the more dominant he would be in bed. Again, no complaints from me. 

“You should have spotlight concerts all the time,” I told him once.

“Fuck, my head would explode from the stress. Not sure if I could handle it!” He said, sipping his coffee. I just bit my lip and smiled.

 

* * *

 

Hanukkah started and it meant I had 15 days till Elio’s birthday. Technically, the week of his birthday was a week I was supposed to have Ben and Michael, but Karen has asked me if she could keep the boys instead. It made sense. She had less time off work than I did and she said she wanted to spend extra time with them while she was off. I told her that wouldn’t be a problem. I had almost a full month off more than her. I explained to her though that Elio’s birthday was coming and I’d wanted them to celebrate with us at on the weekend. She told me that was perfectly ok.

I wanted to have a family party of sorts so I told Val and asked her to come over for dinner and cake. I told her my sons would be there as well. That would be for the Saturday after his birthday, which he didn’t have a concert.

The day of, he did have a concert but it was ok as he would be off the next day and we could have that time together.

 

* * *

 

The day finally came and I got up and made him breakfast. I brought it to bed. I had a birthday card I had gotten for him and placed it on the tray I brought breakfast on, along with a single red rose. I loved the way he lit up and sat up on the bed. This was amazing to me. I leaned in and kissed him and he pulled me close and demanded I ate with him. I told him no, it was all for him. He just laughed and caressed my face. 

Once he was done eating we stayed in bed a while. I leaned down and took him in my mouth and pleased him for as long as time would allow. He climaxed twice and I was happy about that.

We showered together and dressed and went out for lunch. I took him to a new Japanese place that had opened up. It was wonderful and since it was lunch it wasn’t crowded at all and we were able to talk and relax.

“I have two old birthday presents for you,” he said to me.

“I have last year’s for you,” I said. “I was going to give both to you tonight.” He smiled and nodded. He looked up at me and stared into my eyes. He was smiling but somehow the joy didn’t reach his eyes. “What is it?” I asked furrowing my brow.

“I have two birthday presents for you,” he repeated.

“Yes, I heard you, I then said -“

“I wanted you to ask me what they were. I want you to ask me when you can have them,” he said. He didn’t sound angry, but his tone wasn’t joyful either. It was rather emotionless. I was rather taken aback by this.

“Ok, I’m sorry I didn’t know that’s what you wanted, my love,” I said reaching for his hand. I caressed the back of it. “But the reason I didn’t was because today is your day and it’s all about you. I love you so much and I’m the happiest I have ever been and life and our life only seems to be getting better and better,” I said to him. He looked at me and his eyes lit up. Good. “Next year is going to be our best year yet,” I said with a huge smile on my face.

“Yes,” he said grinning back. He was back to his normal self.

“I mean, the concerts in Paris,” I said lifting my eye brows. “And, the baby,” I said squeezing his hand.

He chuckled. “Oh!” He said. He looked at me.

“What is it?”

“Valerie made a sonogram appointment and it’s on a day I have a concert. It’s in like 10 days,” he let out a breath. 

“I’ll go,” I said. “Well, if she wants me to,” I added.

“She already said yes to you going,” he said to me. “I told her I had a concert and asked if she would be ok with you going and she said yes. Thank you,” he said.

“You don’t have to thank me. When it comes to our children and our family, I’ll do anything.”

“As would I,” Elio said. He smiled. Suddenly our food appeared. “Oh that smells awesome!” He said. He looked at me with a huge grin on his face. I beamed at him. I wanted him to be happy.

 

* * *

 

I sighed. I laid back on the couch and looked at my watch, 9:04 pm. Elio wouldn’t be home till almost 11. I thought back to lunch and our conversation. He was so tense about my past birthday presents. I didn’t know what to do about that. I know it had been on my birthday when I had dropped the bomb that we may not be able to be together for a while. We were together now, though, so I thought it was all ok. Apparently not.

This made me feel nervous. I didn’t want him to be unhappy in anyway, of course. I hated the thought that he may be harboring some anger towards me. This hurt so much. I wanted to resolve it. I wanted to talk to him but I didn’t want to ruin his birthday. He deserved happiness. I sighed and thought about how best to handle this. I’d talk to him tomorrow. He had the day off work and hopefully he would be in a great mood from the amazing night we were about to have so hopefully the conversation would be smooth. I nodded, my mind made up. I felt more at peace.

 

It was getting close to the time he normally came home and went to the kitchen. I took the silver bucket I had gotten and put ice in it and put the champagne I had had in the fridge inside of it. I then returned to the fridge and took out the small cake I had gotten at the French bakery near by. Come the weekend we would have a larger cake. This one was just for him so it was small but it was beautiful. I looked at the perfect top layer of chocolate and the beautifully sliced up strawberries. I had 2 sparklers I would light up instead of candles. 

I saw his headlights shine in as he pulled into the drive way. Perfect timing. I put the sparklers in and lit them. I was so happy. I walked to the kitchen doorway as he walked into the house. He looked at me and grinned. 

“Happy Birthday, Love of my Life,” I said to him as I pulled him in for a kiss. 

“Mmmmmm,” He said kissing me. He pulled back. “Thank you so much baby.” 

I stepped aside so he could see the dining room table. I heard his soft gasp. I pulled him in and kissed his cheek. We walked inside the kitchen and the way the light from the sparklers shined on his face was absolutely magical. He looked happy and I was even happier. Once the sparklers burned down I took them off and got a couple of champagne glasses.

“Would you like to do the honors my love?” I asked.

“No, you, that way I can’t be blamed for a whole on the ceiling!” He said laughing.

“Oh thanks!” I said. I popped the champagne and Elio cheered. I laughed and then it came pouring out and I spilled it all over the table and floor and some on myself.

Elio grabbed the cake and picked it up. “Not the cake!” He exclaimed. We laughed. Finally I poured the champagne out. I grabbed some kitchen towels and cleaned the floor up quickly. I had 2 plates and forks on the table but he grabbed the fork and started eating straight from the cake. “Oh this is so good!” He said. He fed me a bite. I sat beside him and we went for the cake. It was perfect and we finished it in no time, feeding it to each other and kissing and laughing. I lifted my champagne glass.

Elio smiled and lifted his. “Happy Birthday my love,” I said. “Here is to many, many more birthdays,” I reached for his hand and squeezed it. “To many more moments of happiness, joy, laughter, tears, happy ones of course,” I said.

He laughed. “Of course,” he replied.

I put my glass down slightly. “You mean everything to me. I want to give you everything you deserve. I’m not perfect. Never have been, never will be. But my love for you is. I love you Elio. Happy Birthday,” I said. 

He got up and grabbed me and kissed me. He straddled me on the dining chair. He kissed me hungrily. I ran my hands up his back and he pressed down onto me. 

“I want you to fuck me,” he said to me between kisses.

I looked up at him, surprised. I figured he would want to take control again. But I was more than happy too. I stood up, holding his hand. I was kissing him still as we walked down the hallway. We got to the bedroom and sat down in the bed, pulling him on top of me I started undressing him quickly.

“Off, off, off,” I said breathlessly.

Elio was making these beautiful moaning sounds, they sounded slightly like whimpers. They were driving me crazy. I quickly flipped us around and got up on my knees and stripped my shirt off. I looked down at him, panting, rosy lips parted. He was so incredibly beautiful. I quickly undid my pants and pushed down them down and off. I grabbed his and as quickly as I could, and stripped them off. My heart was racing. I leaned down and slid my hand up the back of his head and wrapped my hands around his gorgeous dark curls. I kissed him roughly. Elio pushed his hips up to me, his erection rubbing on mine. He moaned. I pulled back and looked at his lips, they were red now. I sucked his bottom lip.

I sat up and lifted him. “Get up, hands on the headboard,” I said panting.

He bit his lip and did as he was told. I got the lube and put some on me. I got behind him, sliding in him quickly. I didn’t want to wait. He groaned. I wrapped my left arm around his hips and I started thrusting into him. 

“You feel so amazing,” I said as I kissed up his neck.

“Fuck me. Hard.” He said. 

I did as he wanted. I loved all the sounds he made. I wanted to be in him so deep. I wanted him pleased in every way. “You’re all mine,” I told him. “Mine... Mine... Mine.” It felt good to say it and to know it was true.

“Yes, just yours,” he told me.

“Fuck, you turn me on so much, Daddy,” I said, smiling at the thrill saying the word gave me. I thrusted in fast and hard. It sunk in, this was the first of many birthdays of us together. Being together and living together. I slowed down. I thrusted in deeply, just more slowly. “Do you know how much you mean to me?”

“Yes,” He said, moaning.

“Do you know how much I need you?”

“Yes,” he said again as he panted.

“I love you,” I said.

“I love you,” He replied.

“Oliver,” I whispered in his ear. “Oliver.”

“Elio,” he replied with a soft whimper. “Elio. Elio. Elio.”

I came deep in him. I stayed in him a while. When I was done, I laid on my back and pulled his hips to mine and sucked him until he came in my mouth. It was incredible.

He laid down on me. I held him tight.

“I mean it. You mean everything to me,” I whispered. “I only want you to be happy.” 

“I’ve never been happier in my life,” Elio said. “Thank you for the perfect birthday baby,” he said. I felt warm inside. I held him tight as we drifted to sleep.


	41. Ghosts Of Birthdays Past

I awoke the next morning with Elio in my arms. I thought of yesterday. I buried my face in his dark curls. He shifted a bit. 

“Mmmmm,” He said stretching. He looked my way and smiled. “Morning,” He said.

“Good morning,” I replied. I looked at him. His face and body, back up to his face. 

“What?” He asked with a smile.

“Just admiring you,” I said. “So how does it feel to be 25?”

He laughed. “A day older than being 24,” he said. He sat up a bit. “My birthday is over,” he said.

“Well, since you had a concert yesterday I was hoping we could celebrate all day today,” I said sitting up beside him.

“Yeah, we can do that baby,” he said reaching for my hand. He leaned close to me and caressed my cheek. He was looking into my eyes. “I have two birthday presents for you,” he said.

My heart pounded a bit. Ok, THIS again. “What are they? Can I have them? I actually also have one for you from last year and one for this year.”

He looked into my eyes. “Do you?”

“Of course I do,” I said. “I love you and it hurt my heart we weren’t together. I couldn’t wait for a day when I could give you the present I had gotten you. This,” I said motioning to our bedroom, “is beyond my wildest dreams.”

He nodded. I saw a wide smiled spread across his face. “Yes, it is,” he said pulling me to him. He sorta laid down and he had pulled me to him, so he ended up halfway propped up against the headboard and my cheek on his chest. I wrapped my arms around him.

“Wanna give them to me now? Even if it isn’t my birthday?” I asked. I wanted to make sure he didn’t feel brushed off.

“Later. Let’s just enjoy us,” he said softly.

I pulled him into me. “More than happy to, my love,” I said as I kissed his chest. He held me tight. I still felt uneasy. I took a deep breath in. “We can talk about it. Obviously there is something about those presents you have for me.”

He kept caressing me. “The year when you left I had gotten you a bracelet. It has our initials engraved in it. It took so much from me to get it. It was like affirming what I wanted before I knew if it was even a possibility. I wanted to. Badly. You were still married. I didn’t know if you’d ever...”

I squeezed him tight. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. Anyway... I got it and although I never wanted to wish you and Karen divorce because I knew your children could suffer because of it, even if you never wore it. Just knowing you had it...” he trailed off again.

“I’m sorry I didn’t let you give it to me,” I said softly.

“It’s ok, you didn’t know,” he said quietly.

“I think I was being very selfish during those times. I was truly only worried about myself and how much I wanted and needed you, yet I wasn’t being man enough about leaving Karen. I put you in a horrible spot. As well as her,” I felt the tears sting my eyes. They slowly spilled onto his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok,” he said softly, holding me close.

“But it’s not. You can be angry.”

“It’s not a productive mood. It’s over now anyway and we can move on. I want to move on.” 

“As do I but I don’t want to leave things unresolved,” I said. I took a deep breath, “I don’t want to be celebrating your birthday and the anger of birthday presents past come up,” I said. My stomach knotted a little bit. Had I been with Karen I would have never said anything like this. She would see me as provoking a fight. With Elio, though, he was calm and we could talk. My heart started pounding. 

He kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry.”

“Please, don’t apologize. Just talk to me.”

He chuckled. “I know we have made strides as a couple when you’re the one asking me to talk,” he said with a very gentle and sweet voice.

“Does it make you happy? I’m trying. I want us to have open communication.”

“You’re amazing,” he said. He turned as did I and we faced each other.

“Talk to me, my love,” I said.

To my surprise I saw a slight tremble in his chin. My heart, the jab of pain it felt. I pulled him in instinctively. He laughed softly. “I’m.. ah. I’m ok! Just a little emotional.”

I nodded. “Yeah, ok,” I said. My heart. I could feel and hear my heart racing.

“Ok, so I got you the bracelet. It was a hard thing for me to get, I felt I was taking a leap, you know and then you didn’t take it. I felt defeated but pushed it aside. I wore it a couple of times, concerts only.” He said smiling. “It made me feel closer to you.”

My heart was aching but I didn’t want to make it worse for him. I kissed him softly. “Ok,” I said as I caressed his back. We looked into each other’s eyes.

“Maybe this was the journey our love was supposed to take,” Elio said looking into my eyes. “We fell I love so quickly and had such a strong connection, stronger than what some people ever experience.” He shook his head. I stared at him, not sure what to say. “Maybe our love needed to take the long way around so you and I understood that this is the kind of love that only comes along once in a lifetime and cherish everything about it.”

I pulled him to me and kissed him deeply. “How did you become so wise?” I asked laughing as I wiped tears away.

“I had some help,” he said chuckling.

“Yeah from who? Who’s wiser than you and was able to give you wisdom. Oh! Well, hello your dad!” 

“Yeah,” He said shrugging. “And just life and a good friend.”

“A good friend? What was his name?” I felt a sudden pang of envy, I didn’t even know why.

“Her name was Isabela. She was a good, good friend.” He looked down at my chest as he caressed it before looking up to my eyes.

“I’m glad,” I said. I caressed his face. “So where is she now? Have you spoken to her?”

“Not since a couple of months before I came back for good. If things went the way she hoped then she would be back with the love of her life. I was working through you being with someone else and so was she.” 

“Bonded through heartache,” I said. He shrugged and smiled. I grabbed him and pulled him to me. I kissed him deeply. My hands all over his body. I suddenly wanted to be the one that made it all better. “What was the other present?” I asked him. I pulled him on top of me. I looked up at him, curls falling on either side of his face. He was so beautiful. I caressed his face and smoothed some of his hair behind his ears. I held his face. 

He gave me a gorgeous half smile. “I wrote a journal dedicated to you,” He whispered. He leaned down and kissed me. “No heavy shit,” he said laughing. “No. This was... love letters to you.”

My heart felt so good. I pulled him down to me and kissed him hungrily. I kissed down his neck. I gave him gentle bites and licks. “I’m so in love with you. I want you to be nothing but happy. I want to give you everything you want and need and not feel you’re lacking anything, physically or emotionally,” I looked up at him.

“I feel the same way about you, baby,” he said softly.

“I know, expect unlike me, you know what to say and do and I don’t want to fuck things up and -“

He pressed his lips to mine. His kiss left me breathless and we both panted as we pulled apart. He leaned in again and kissed me more. I felt his tongue slide in my mouth. I moaned softly at the way he caressed my tongue with his. I felt myself getting hard. We pulled away slightly again. He lifted up and looked down at me.

“You’re perfect just the way you are. I wouldn’t want you to be anything else than all you are right now. So please, don’t ever wish yourself to be anything else than what you are.” I felt warm and tingly at his words. I nodded. “So what did you get me last year?” He asked me.

I smiled. “Can I just give them to you?”

“Yes, of course, baby.”

I got up and went to our closet. I had a couple of duffle bags of mine in there. I took out the two wrapped boxes. I smiled to myself as I walked back to the bed and handed them to him. He looked me up and down as I got on the bed. “What?” I asked laughing.

“You naked is a present onto itself,” he said with a wink and a huge grin on his face. He took the presents and looked at them. “Which is which?”

“The red one is last year,” I said smiling. He smiled back and started tearing the wrapping paper. He then opened the box and looked at me surprised. He took out the wooden item. “It’s a 1930s Maelzel metronome,” I said smiling. “It’s been restored.”

“Oliver it’s beautiful!” He said running his beautiful fingers over it. He leaned in and kissed me.

“I’ve never seen you use one... but it made sense to have one. Maybe if Ben gets more interested you can use it when you teach him.” He grinned at me. I bit my lip. “I mean, the baby has your musical genes so it may come in handy for more years to come.”

He laughed. “It’s beyond beautiful. Thank you.” He leaned in and kissed me again. He placed it at his bedside table. He then went for the other box. I loved the look on his face. He unwrapped the box. “Whoa! This is nice!”

I grinned as he quickly opened up the box. It was a Nikon camera. “With a new baby on the way, I figured you may want to take a lot of photos.”

“Yes! Of the baby and of Michael and Ben and us. Our whole family,” he said. He took the camera out and marveled at it. “This is so awesome. So thoughtful,” he looked up at me. “Thank you so, so much baby,” he said softly. He put the camera aside and opened his arms up.

I quickly leaned into them and he kissed me, laying me back on the bed again, climbing on top of me. “You’re welcome daddy,” I said softly. I felt butterflies in my stomach and goosebumps all over.

“Fuck that’s sexy,” he said and kissed me roughly. He pressed his hips down on me. “You’re so fucking sexy,” he kissed me again. “Oh! Hold on!” He got up and walked to the dresser. He pulled out the top drawer and after a little rummaging he got a black velvet box out. He came to the bed and handed it to me, smiling. I took it and opened it. It was a golden link bracelet with a solid piece of gold in the middle, O & E engraved in it. He took it out and put it on me. “Yes. I knew it would look beautiful on you,” He said caressing it with his thumb. He caressed my hand. 

“I love it,” I told him. “I love you.”

“I love you,” He replied softly. He was still caressing my hand. We were looking into each other’s eyes. I saw his tongue lick his bottom lip as he looked down at me.

“Where were we?” I asked him softly.

“Right here,” he said reaching down and stroking me. He kissed me deeply. I moaned at his touch. I had a wet spot on my abdomen and he rubbed it into me with his thumb. He bit along my jaw gently as he slid his thumb into my mouth. I rolled my tongue around it. He gasped a bit. “You know how to please your daddy don’t you?” 

I nodded. He reached down and stroked me more. I groaned and closed my eyes, leaning my head back. This was feeling so good. “I want to please you in every way,” I said.

“Why?” He asked as he pressed his hips down on me and rubbed his erection on mine.

“Because I get the most pleasure from pleasing you,” I said panting.

“Yes, I know you do,” he said. He got up on his knees. He started stroking himself. He looked so amazing doing it. I wanted to do it. I went to reach for him. “No.” He said. I furrowed my brow.

“Why?”

“Because I said no,” he said, again with his soft voice but with authority. I clenched my fists. My heart was racing. I watched as he kept stroking himself. It was almost painful to just sit there and watch. I started stroking myself then. “Hands on your sides,” he said to me. My eyes widened. I put my hands at my sides though and clenched my fists tightly. He smirked. He knew he was torturing me. “Come here, on you hands and knees,” he said.

I leaned forward and got on my hands and knees as he asked. His cock in front of my face. The tip was dripping as he stroked it. “Open up,” he said. I opened my mouth. He placed just the tip inside. “Suck,” he said. I did. Happily. I licked him clean and sucked him gently and hard and licked him clean again. I could tell he was getting close. He grabbed my hair with his left hand as he kept stroking himself with his right. I closed my eyes and kept licking and sucking his tip. It’s all he would let me suck, which was a little maddening. I wanted all of him in my mouth. He was stroking himself even faster. I loved the sounds he was making. I was so fucking turned on. 

He was gasping and grunting. He pulled on my hair harder. He came on my face. I opened my mouth. I wanted to swallow it all. Some hit my lips, chin, right cheek. He let go of my hair and sank down on his feet. I sat back down and licked my lips. “Wait,” he said softly. I looked at him, confused. “I want to remember how you look right now,” he said.

I grinned and shook my head. He grabbed a towel by the foot of the bed and cleaned my face with it. He kissed me. He straddled me. “Fuck me,” he said softly. I reached for the lube and put some on myself. Elio got up on his knees and then settled down on me, sliding me in slowly. I grabbed his hips. I started thrusting up into him. Hard and fast. It felt amazing. He grabbed my biceps as I thrusted in. I stared up at him as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back. His groans were gorgeous. I loved how his neck and chest were flushed. I clenched my jaw. I wanted to be in him so deep. He kept saying yes yes yes. I loved it. I came. I pulled him down on me so hard it hurt. But I didn’t care. I couldn’t be in him deep enough.

I fell back on the bed panting. He fell down on top of me.

“Fuck,” He said panting. 

I laughed. He stared laughing as well. “Yeah. Wow.” I said. I closed my eyes and swallowed. As soon as I could move I wrapped my arms around him. I caressed his sweaty back. We laid there for a while until we were both calm. His stomach suddenly grumbled.

I chuckled. “Someone worked up an appetite,” I said.

“Yeah. What can you cook? Can you do that shrimp pasta with your garlic bread? Please?”

“Yes, my love,” I said. We got up and pulled on some comfortable clothes. I held his hand as we walked to the kitchen. I walked to the fridge and started taking everything I needed out. Elio asked me how he could help and I told him. Soon I had everything going. Once everything was cooked we sat down and ate.

“So, have we worked through the ghosts of birthdays past?” I asked him softly.

He looked into my eyes. “No,” he said he got up and ran out the kitchen. He came back. He handed me a couple of leather bound journals with a very pretty blue bow tied around them. “I said a journal, but there are two. Well one and a half,” he said. “I did this to balance it out. The notepads are angry... this is all love.”

I undid the bow and opened the first one. “Oliver,” I read out loud. “Today the sky is as blue as your eyes. The times I’ve lost myself in them are countless. I hope to do that again. They are my own private heaven, my own private bliss. When you look at me, all I want to do is sink myself in your beautiful eyes. I hope you know what effect they have on me. I love them. The bluest skies will do nothing but remind me of you, your eyes and our love.”

I looked up at him. Speechless. “Elio...” I let out a breath. He caressed my face. He leaned in and kissed me.

“I know it’s not, well a Nikon!” He said laughing softly.

“No, it better. It’s amazing.” I said.

“Well don’t stop eating. You have forever to read them.”

“I’d much rather if you read them to me,” I said. He smiled and nodded. 

“Of course,” he said softly. He kissed me again and reached for his fork. He started eating. “God, Mafalda would kick my ass if I told her how much I love your cooking!” He said laughing. I laughed with him. My heart could burst. I felt so complete.


	42. Joy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!  
> Bit of a time jump in this chapter. I went from Elio’s birthday to a week and a half later, first week of January 1991. I skipped New Years as I wanted to story to just progress!
> 
> Enjoy!  
> <3

I pulled into Valerie’s place and parked beside her car. She came out right away and bounced down the stairs. She got in. 

“Hey!” She said leaning in and giving me a hug.

“Hi, how are you?”

“Good! How are you guys? How are the boys?” She asked as she pulled on her seatbelt.

“We’re all great thank you,” I replied smiling as I backed out of the driveway.

We drove, chatting and she started telling me about her classes this semester. I pretty much knew all the professors, some only by name though but if I knew something particular about one I told her. We arrived at the doctor’s office pretty quickly. 

“Thank you for coming with me,” she said as we got out of the car. 

“Of course,” I said putting my arm around her shoulders and squeezing them. “You know Elio wants to make it to every single appointment having to do with the baby, but, life happens.”

“Yeah and I made the appointment on a Monday because that seemed to be the day he hardly ever had a concert.” 

“Yeah, I know,” I replied. I opened the door for her. 

She stepped inside and I followed. I went and sat down in the waiting room while she went to the front desk. After a moment she joined me.

“So you’ve been feeling ok though?”

“Yeah!” She said smiling. “Thank god I never really had bad nausea or anything. The cravings are still crazy though,” she said laughing. “How was it with Karen?” She asked. 

“Ah, she had really bad morning sickness with both boys,” I said. “With Ben she had to stay one day overnight in the hospital with an IV once. Kinda scary, but she and Ben were ok.”

“Wow,” Valerie said.

“Miss Valerie!” A nurse called out from the swinging doors.

“That’s me!” She said. We got up and walked to the nurse. We were led down the hallway to a semi dark room.

Valerie was asked to sit on the bed and I sat in the chair beside it. After a moment a blonde lady came in. “Hi! I’m Lori and I’ll be doing your sonogram,” she said with a pleasant smile. 

“Hi Lori,” Valerie and I said.

She started moving around the room and getting the machines and Valerie ready. I felt excitement. Of course, I wanted Elio to be there and to be the first to see anything relating to the baby but I couldn’t deny the fact that I was excited to be here. I already loved this baby so much and couldn’t wait to meet him or her.  

Finally, after Valerie was prepped and ready and Lori was settled beside the bed by the computer, we started. I scooted my chair over to get a better view. My heart was beating a little fast.

“Ok, so I’m going to take some pictures and I’ll print you copies as well,” Lori said smiling. “So we’ll share these pictures with your doctor and measure things and make sure everything is going well! Valerie you ready?”

“Yes!” She said glancing my way. I smiled at her.

Lori placed the transducer on Valerie’s abdomen and I intently watched the screen. Valerie too.

“Ok!” Lori said. She moved her hand around and the heartbeat came on. “Oh my gosh!” Valerie said. She and I instinctively grabbed hands. I felt tears fill my eyes. I could feel my heart thumping. I so wished Elio could have come but I was so, so happy to be here.

“There is baby! Do you see the little heart thumping?” Lori said.

“Yes!” Valerie said wiping a tear away.

Lori moved along Valerie’s abdomen and took a few pictures. She stopped. “Hmm,” she said. “Valerie, turn towards me a little please,” she said. Valerie did as she asked. “Ah! Ok, surprise! Look!” 

Valerie and I looked as... another little heartbeat appeared on the screen. My heart literally stopped. 

“Is that a second baby?!” I asked hardly breathing.

“Yes!” Lori said smiling and taking another set of pictures. “Twins!”

“Twins,” Valerie said. We stared at each other for a second. We then both started laughing and crying. Lori looked at us both. I’m sure we looked a bit insane but I figured she was used to this, wasn’t she?

“Aw, you two are so wonderful. I’m gonna cry!” She said. She laughed along with us.

 

* * *

 

I stared at my watch, it was 10:30. There were butterflies in my stomach and I was full of adrenaline. I walked to the kitchen for the hundredth time and looked at the envelope with the sonogram pictures inside. I couldn’t help but smile. I paced around the living room and looked at my watch again. 10:33 pm.

After Valerie and I had cried we asked Lori if we could please have two sets of photos. She said they normally didn’t give two but she would for us. Valerie took one set and I the other.

“We need to tell him as soon as possible,” I told her as we walked to the car. “When can you come over?”

“Ah, Thursday if he doesn’t have a concert,” she said.

“Ok!” I said and thought of how hard it would be keeping this surprised from him. “But you can tell him tonight,” Valerie said softly.

I stared at her. “Valerie, no. No way.”

“Why?” She asked, raising her eyebrows. 

“Because this is your child.”

“Our child, Oliver. _Our_ child.”

I stared at her. “Valerie -“

“Listen, this is ok. I am very ok and I am being taken care of greatly, by both of you. Ok? I’m happy. I’m also very happy for you and Elio and come on, if he could freaking impregnate you, he _would have_!” I actually blushed when she said this. “Like on purpose Oliver, not as an accident that has turned into a joyous occasion,” she smiled at me and squeezed my hand. I was speechless. “You’re both wonderful. Please, tell him. Enjoy this with him. He’s going to be happy if I tell him but he will be ecstatic if he hears it from you. Call me tomorrow and leave me a messages if I’m not home and let me know if he’s free Thursday and if he is I’ll come over for dinner and we’ll celebrate all three of us together,” she said smiling.

I had nodded and thanked her. I was so thankful she was being as understanding as she was being. I felt so much inside. I wanted to tell her what a wonderful gift she was giving me but I couldn’t even put it into words.

I looked at my watch again. 10:37 pm. I recalled the first days when Elio and I reconnected, the first time I spent the night here. I remembered him with my sons. I imagined a little toddler running around with dark curly hair. My heart was pounding. I couldn’t help but grin. Two babies. The chances of a girl were so much higher now. Now I could be greedy and also wish for another boy.

“God this is so amazing,” I said up to the ceiling. When Karen had been pregnant with Michael I was happy. Extremely so. I couldn’t wait to be a dad. I felt that was something I could do and I knew exactly the type of father I wanted to be. I wanted to give Michael all I wish I had had. Ben’s pregnancy has been more stressful and although I was happy to be a father again, Karen and I were in a bad place.

This, in so many ways, felt like another chance at enjoying the happiness of a new child. Well, children. I loved Ben and Michael with all my heart but now, experiencing all this with Elio, it felt so special. My heart was full to the brim. I looked at my watch 10:42 pm. I let out a long breath. The later it got the more happily anxious I got. I had to make sure I didn’t just blurt it out the moment he came in. I’m sure he’ll see how happy I was and just a tribute it to the sonogram.

I looked at my watch. 10:44. I crossed my arms and walked out to the living room. I wonder when we should start talking to Ben and Michael about a baby brother and sister. Brother and sister. A girl and a boy. I got goosebumps. I then saw his headlights coming through the window. My stomach flipped. I walked over to the door and swung it open. He came round the corner to the front door jogging. He laughed as he jogged into the house and shut the door. 

He grabbed me and kissed me. “Ok! Tell me EVERYTHING! I’ve been so anxious all evening!” He said.

He looked so beautiful as he undid his jacket. His beautiful fingers working around the buttons. He had his hair tucked behind his ears. He was going to need a haircut soon. Maybe we all could go, the boys and us. He put his coat up. I kissed him again. “It was wonderful. Let me show you the pictures!” I said. I couldn’t keep the excitement out of my voice.  

We quickly walked to the kitchen and I opened up the envelope. I had arranged the pictures in a perfect order so nothing would be left to chance. My heart thumped in my chest. His beautiful fingers opened up the envelope. The look of happiness on his face was everything.

“Ok,” I said wrapping an arm around his waist. “This is baby!” I said circling the little blob.

“Wow. Hi baby,” he said softly. My heart melted. I kissed him. He went to the next picture. 

“More baby, and that right there is the little heart. I can’t wait till you hear the heartbeat,” I said to him.

“Wow, me neither,” he said looking up at me with a cute little smile on his face. He flipped to the next picture. My heart leaped.

“So now,” I said. “There is baby and heart, like we saw before.”

“Yes,” he said and went to the next picture.

“And here,” I said as I pointed, my hands were shaking. “Here is heartbeat number two.” I looked at him. His mouth opened as if he was going to say something, but he closed it again. He flipped to the last picture. Lori had written Baby 1 and Baby 2.

“Baby one and baby two,” he whispered. He turned and put the pictures on the counter and leaned on it. “Wow.” He said. He kept staring at the photo. He looked up at me. His eyes were a bit wide and were teary. “Oliver,” he said.

“Yes, my love?” I said stepping to him.

“We’re going to have two babies,” he said, smiling. He leaned forward and took my face in his hands. “I’m so happy,” he said pulling me and hugging me. 

I held him tight. “So am I, Elio, so am I.” 

He was laughing and crying like Valerie and I had earlier. I held him from behind, my chest to his back as he caressed the photo and ran his finger over the Baby 1 and Baby 2. “As if it couldn’t get any better,” he said softly.

“I can now shamelessly say I really hope one of those precious little babies is a girl,” I said grinning. 

He turned around laughing. “I knew you wanted a girl!” I shrugged. I loosened my arms around him a little. We looked into each other’s eyes. I was overwhelmed and overjoyed. “Somebody pinch me,” Elio whispered. I just kissed him instead. 

“Another thing, my love,” I said. Elio looked at me. “Valerie is officially twelve weeks.”

His eyes widened and he grabbed the phone. He punched the numbers in really fast. He extended his free hand out to me but I went and wrapped my arms around his waist.

“Bonjour! Maman!” He has a huge smile on his face. “Is papa there? I want to speak to both of you.” 

There was some bustling and I heard Annella call for the professor. 

“Elly Belly! How are you! So good to hear from you!” 

“Dad, mom, Oliver and I have some news,” Elio said. I squeezed him tight. 

“What is it?” Annella said.

“Come the end of July... you’re going to be grandparents!”

There were a moment of silence and then there were shouts and laughter and fast conversations in French and Italian and I was lost. Elio finally explained how Valerie became pregnant but that he and her were still extremely amicable. Then he talked about me going with her to the sonogram and finally he gave them the last wonderful piece of news: twins. 

There was more joyous exclamations and conversations I didn’t understand. I suddenly imagine Elio speaking to the babies in French and Italian. I thought of them calling me papa like he called Samuel. I squeezed him even tighter. I don’t even know how he was breathing.

  

* * *

 

 

We were in bed. Elio was propped up on the headboard with some pillows and I had my head on his chest. He had the journals he had given me the day after his birthday on the bed. He had a pen. He had told me he wanted to continue a bit. I told him of course. He spoke as he wrote. I watched his beautiful fingers. 

“My joy has been doubled. I will become a father twice on the same day and the most amazing thing about it is having you with me,” he said as he wrote. 

I sighed and closed my eyes. I heard him talking a bit more. I felt him caress my back and then my cheek. It seemed like a second later, I awoke as he was laying down properly. I blinked and he reached for his bedside lamp, turning it off. I wrapped my arms around him and fell back sleep.

 

 

 


	43. The Luckiest Man Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short, sweet and to the point ;)
> 
> Elio begins to prepare for his Beethoven Spotlight Concerts and has thoughts about future plans...
> 
> Enjoy! <3

“I want to start with Piano Concerto No. 5,” I heard Elio tell the conductor. They were at the dining room table while I cooked. The boys were in the kitchen floor playing. Karen had dropped them off earlier that day.

“The Emperor. Yes. Yes. That will be a good way to start the concert off. I believe it is just under 42 minutes?”

“Yes. Then I want that followed by the Sonata Pathétique,” Elio said.

“Hmmm, just under 20 minutes and it’ll be just you,” the conductor agreed. “Now, Margaret has requested we do the Archduke Trio. We need a violinist and a cellist and we will have you on a piano each. She hasn’t specified which parts she wants to play, so brush up in it all and then we’ll let her choose. For all you know she’ll want to play some then switch it the next day. It’s how she is!” 

I watched as Elio nodded. “Are her and I doing anything alone?”

“Yes,” the conductor said. He opened up the black leather portfolio he had. “She prepared this arrangement. It’s Piano Concerto in G Major, Opus 58, No. 4.” He took out sheets of music and handed them to Elio.

I put the food I had in the oven and washed my hands. I looked over at the boys as they played.

“She arranged this herself?” Elio asked.

“Yes and she didn’t tell me which part she wants you to play so you should learn both,” he said. “That is just under 34 minutes.” Elio nodded. “I think that’s good enough and then I’ll have the orchestra play some other things,” the conductor said. 

“I want to play this before you leave,” Elio told the conductor holding up Margaret’s arrangement. 

Elio and him talked some more and then walked down the hall and I heard Elio playing. They were there for almost two hours. I didn’t want to bother them so I fed the boys and then cleaned up. I was on my way to give them a bath when I saw them walk up the hall.

“Are you two hungry?” I asked.

“I’m starved!” The conductor told me. “I smelled your delicious food but you know how Elio gets. He plays and must over think things and has to have it perfect and he was holding me hostage as he played!”

Elio laughed. “Yeah I wonder who I learned that from!” He said. He came and kissed me. “Thank you baby. I’ll serve us. You take care of the boys.” I nodded.

I bathed the boys and read them a couple of stories. Elio walked in. “I hope we have time for one more?” Elio asked.

“Yes! Two more actually,” I said grinning at him. 

“Great!” He said. He came to the bed and sat beside Michael, putting him on his lap. We read the last two stories and hugged them and kissed them and put them to bed. We then went to our room.

  

Elio closed the door behind us. I was changing when I felt him grab me and squeeze me from behind. I turned around, took his face in my hands and kissed him. “I’m so happy,” he said.

“Good. I’m happy too, my love.”

“I’ve been thinking,” he said looking at me.

“Ok,” I said.

He took my hand and led me to the bed. “Two things. Two big things,” he said. “And one little one.”

“Ok,” I repeated.

“One, when we go to Paris, I plan to have my parents at the concert there. I want to see if my mother will come back with us. She can be here for the last three months of Valerie’s pregnancy. Twins sometimes come sooner than expected so I thought it would be great to have her around. I’ll see if my father can come for the whole summer.” 

“Yeah, I hope they can. That sounds great!” I said. My parents were non existent in my sons lives and I would love for them to build a relationship with Elio’s parents. At least they could experience true loving grandparents through them. I loved the idea of them here for the summer and Annella for months on end. “And two?” I asked.

“Two,” He said. “With the twins coming and with us having the boys, a three bedroom isn’t really made for two adults and four kids. So, I think it’s time we bought a home. Preferably before the twins arrive. What do you say?” 

I was a little shocked. “Karen and I were going to put our home on the market in March,” I said.

He nodded. “I know. That’s fine. It shouldn’t be an issue. I make enough for a home loan by myself but you’ll be added no matter what. We just need to decide where we want to settle down at. We have to think schools. Once I’m there I don’t want to go anywhere.”

“Ok,” I said. I nodded. All he was saying made sense.

“Those those were the two big things. I also... had something else,” he said quietly.

“Ok?” I asked.

“So several of the orchestra members have children. Well, more like half of them do. Anyway, they were talking schools and it seems about a third of them have the kids in a private school in the area. That’s something I would love to do for the twins,” he said. 

“Absolutely baby, whatever you want,” I said nodding and taking his hands.

“Do you think Karen would also let us put Michael and Ben in the same private school if we buy our home in the area?” Elio asked. 

I raised my eyebrows and my eyes widened. “I have no idea Elio. No idea.” 

“I would pay,” he said. 

“I know. But... to Karen she would probably want to pay half and I don’t think she makes enough money.”

“I’d pay it all. I can afford it.”

“Listen, let’s find a home first. Then, maybe before the start of this school year we can talk to her and see. You present your case and see what she says. You have to remember though she’s a public school elementary teacher so if your argument is going to be how private schools are so much more superior than public elementary schools, that may not be the angle you may want to approach it by.”

Elio nodded and looked off into the distance. “It’s just that I want to give Ben and Michael all the twins are going to get. I don’t want them to feel different or separate or less. They’re just as much my sons as the twins are. I’d love them all to be in the same school.” 

My eyes filled with tears. Elio had just easily spoken what he felt in his heart, purely and honestly and I had never felt as amazed by him as I felt now. It took me a moment to find my voice. “I know Elio,” I said softly. “Maybe you should tell Karen that.” I couldn’t keep the emotion out of my voice. 

He glanced at me and looked surprised. “You ok baby?” 

“Yes,” I said laughing and wiping my eyes. “I just love you so much.” 

He nodded and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m the luckiest man alive,” he said.

“Impossible my love,” I said pulling him tight. “That title belongs to me.”

 


	44. A Night Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I suddenly realized our boys hadn’t gone out in a while! All work and no play is never fun!  
> Enjoy!

January came to end and February rolled around. If Elio wasn’t at a concert, he was practicing for for Beethoven Spotlight concert. It wasn’t unusual to come home and find the conductor or a cellist and violinist practicing with Elio.

Valerie was amazing and she went and picked up Michael from school two times a week for me on the weeks I had him. It was nice because she could have dinner with us those days as well. Now that Valerie was past the twelve week period Elio and I had shared the news with friends and some co workers. Lidia was a sweetheart and at work gave me a book for Ben and Michael about welcoming a new baby into the house. I realized we had to tell Karen.

When I got home that day Elio was with a violinist and cellist in the sunroom. I went and showered and changed. Then settled down with some work at the dining room table. It was maybe another hour and half until the musicians left. I waved good bye as they did and Elio came over to the kitchen. He kissed me and climbed on top of me, straddling me as I sat on a dining room chair.

“How are you my love?” I asked him.

“My back is a bit achy,” he said.

“I can take care of it,” I said kissing his neck and pressing my fingertips into his lower back.

“Mmmmmm yes,” he said leaning into me. “Oh that feels good,” he said. I rubbed his back for a while. “Mmmmm, thank you. How’s work baby?” 

“Good. Look what Lidia gave me,” I reached for the book which I had on the table and handed it to him. 

“Welcome Baby. Becoming a big brother or sister. That’s adorable!” Elio said.

“Very much so. I’m excited to start reading it to them since Valerie is beginning to show.” Elio looked at me and smiled. “We have to tell Karen,” I said softly. 

Elio nodded and looked at me. “Yeah, I was thinking that. I mean I want Ben and Michael to feel the twins will be their siblings so, yes, we have to tell Karen.”

“So I was thinking maybe when I get the boys this weekend I can tell her. Then sometime soon we can have a barbecue or something. We can have Karen and Valerie over so she feels included too.”

“Yeah! Yes! Let’s do it!” Elio said. I grinned and kissed him. “What’s for dinner?” He asked. 

“Let’s go out and eat,” I said.

“Yeah. Let’s go to that Mexican place. I feel like having some beer and tacos,” Elio said.

I laughed. “Elio Perlman, world class classical pianist wants some beer and tacos?”

Elio laughed. He looked so gorgeous. “Yes! I want some damn beer and tacos!” He said.

“Then you shall have them,” I said, smoothing this hair back behind his ear. 

“Let’s go!” He said.

 

We changed and drove to a Mexican restaurant that he loved that was really close by. We had a good time. They had live music and there was lots of dancing. There were a couple of women there that asked us to dance and Elio and I had had enough Coronas that we agreed and danced with them. One of them gave Elio her number and I laughed. Elio told her he was was having babies in his broken Spanish, which wasn’t that broken when he mixed some Italian with it. 

She still gave him her number in a napkin and he quit fighting and took it with a thumbs up. After a long while we left.

 

“Do you have a concert tomorrow?” I asked him as we walked to our car in the parking lot. I couldn’t remember.

“No!” He said. We got in. “No I don’t. Let’s go to the beach,” he said. We were less than 3 miles from the Santa Monica pier so I drove us there. It was completely deserted, since, after looking at my watch, I saw that it was close to midnight. We parked and walked out. We took off our shoes and got our feet wet. We got to a bend on the beach and we couldn’t see the street anymore. Just tall palm trees and the ink blue sky. There wasn’t much moonlight. 

Elio jumped on me. I laughed and we stumbled onto the sand. He was quickly going for my pants. “What are you doing?” I asked him. I couldn’t stop laughing.

“I want to suck you,” he said panting.

Him saying that made me so hard. I slid my pants down and he took me in his mouth quickly. It felt so good. I grabbed his hair and thrusted my hips at him. “Yes, fuck my mouth,” he told me.

I did as he asked. It felt fucking amazing and intense and the sounds he was making were driving me crazy. When I finally came it felt like the best orgasm I had ever had. I laughed when it was over and Elio kept sucking me. I was getting really sensitive. 

“Fuck. Fuck. You need to stop, Elio. Elio. Fuck,” I told him laughing. He finally stopped.

“Turn around I wanna fuck you,” he said. He was grinding up against me.

“You can’t,” I said.

“What? What the fuck you mean I can’t?” He sounded extremely annoyed.

“Look,” I said. I stood up as best as I could. “You had me on the fucking ground while you were sucking me and I have beach sand all in my pants and boxers and my ass and there is no way you can fuck me here,” I said.

Elio started laughing. Which made me laugh. I was sobering up and realized how ridiculous this all was. I shook as much sand out of my boxers as I could and we made our way back to the car. Elio was still laughing. I was glad we were close to home because driving with the sand I wasn’t able to get in my boxers was extremely uncomfortable.

We got inside and I jumped in the shower as quickly as I could. Elio came in soon after.

“No excuse now!” He said. “Bend over. You’re pleasing your daddy,” he said.

I grinned and did as he asked and he entered me quickly. He was rough and relentless and it was fucking amazing. The sounds we made echoed louder in the bathroom and I loved how loudly he groaned as he came in me.

I was hard when he finished and he got on his knees and sucked me for a second time. I came all over his neck and chest. I enjoyed seeing him like that.

“You look so, so beautiful,” I said. I leaned on the bathroom wall and pulled him to me. He grinned at me. 

“Oliver,” he said softly closing his eyes.

“Yes love of my life?” I asked him.

“My head is fucking throbbing!” He said laughing and leaning on me. 

I laughed and held him tight. I turned him, pressing his back to my chest. I grabbed the soap and started washing him. He leaned his head back. “Fuck. That restaurant was fun though.”

“Yeah. Remember how you told the one woman you were dancing with you’d bring her photos of the twins,” I said.

He laughed. “Esmeralda? Right?”

“No, that was the one that was dancing with me,” I said with a chuckle.

“You sure?”

“Yes I’m sure because when she asked me if I had kids I showed her pictures of Ben and Michael and then she pulled out a picture of her daughter who she had named Esmeralda too,” I said.

He looked up at me. “When did all that happen?” 

“When you were dancing with...” I tried to remember. “I think it was Rosalinda. Because I kept wanting to call her RosaLIDIA.”

“Yeah and she kept saying no no no!” Elio said laughing. I grinned and squeezed him. “Did you hear what she said to me when I told her I was having twins?” Elio asked.

“No what?” I asked with a big smile on my face.

“She said, oh! You work good then!” He burst out laughing.

I leaned down and kissed him. “You’re so beautiful,” I told him. 

He took a deep breath and looked up at me. “Not as beautiful as you baby,” he said caressing my face.

We got our and I got him some aspirin and water. We finally settled down on the bed.

“God, I don’t want any more cervezas until I’m 26!” Elio said.

I laughed and pulled him to me. I spooned him and kissed his neck gently. He fell sleep soon after. I kissed his shoulder softly and caressed his arm. My eyelids felt heavy. I closed them and was sleep myself in no time. 


	45. Amazing Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio and Oliver start to see their blended family take form...
> 
> Enjoy my lovelies!  
> <3

The following weekend I drove to Thousand Oaks to pick up the boys. I told Karen I wanted to talk to her. She told me that was fine and to arrive at 10:30. I did as she asked. 

“Hey!” She said giving me a quick hug as I walked in. “I’m actually glad you came because I went ahead and had the house appraised last week and we got the paper work.” 

“Great!” I said. I looked over everything. “Wow! That’s a lot more than what we paid.” I said looking at the asking price.

“Yeah it’s like almost double. It’s insane but hey I’m happy! So as of March first we’re putting it on the market and hopefully by April first it’s under contract and we’re waiting for it to be sold!”

“Let’s hope!” I said. “Where are you going to stay?”

“Another thing I wanted to talk to you about. Chances are I’m going to get an apartment. So in case I don’t have one right away or it takes me a couple of extra weeks can you and Elio keep the boys for a while?”

“Oh yeah! Of course. But while you’re looking where are you going to be staying?”

“With my cousin,” she said. “I just would rather the boys be in their home and then it’s easier for me and for them.”

“Yeah. No worries,” I said smiling.

“Ok! Good. So what’s up?”

I took a deep breath. “So, before Elio and I got together he was in a relationship,” I said.

“Yeah. With a girl,” she said.

“Yeah,” I looked at her surprised.

“He told me.”

“Ok,” I cleared my throat again. “So, it turns out she got pregnant right near the end of their relationship,” I said.

Karen gasped. “Oh my god! Oh my god they’re going to have a baby?!”

“Babies,” actually I said. “Twins.” I couldn’t keep the huge smile off my face. I tried to contain it. When I told Lidia I had said ‘Elio and I are going to have twins!’ But I couldn’t say that to Karen. She was the mother of my children but I was so happy. So, so happy.

Karen took my hands. “It’s ok to be happy,” she said softly. I nodded and hugged her. “Oliver, who would I be if I was bitter at yours and Elio’s happiness? I’d be a miserable person. That’s not me. I want to be happy. I want you happy. I want our sons happy.”

I felt a lot. I squeezed her tight. “Thank you,” I said again. It was all I could say that was coherent at the moment. After a while we pulled back. “So, obviously with Ben and Michael, we want them to feel they’re going to be older brothers,” I said tentatively. “Maybe they’ll have question so, we, Elio and I, were thinking that maybe you’d like to come to the house for a barbecue or something and we can invite Valerie too. What do you think?”

“Yeah!” Karen said. “I’d love that! Saturdays are the best days for me. Just let me know!”

I nodded and grinned, feeling great. This felt good. We could all be a blended family and the children can have all the best of both worlds.

 

* * *

 

“Ok! Karen just called and said she’s on her way with the boys and Valerie just got here,” Elio said.

“Perfect!” I said as I looked over the meat and chicken I had marinating. I also had some hotdogs for the boys. This felt good. A family barbecue on a Saturday afternoon. 

“Hey!” Valerie said as she walked into the kitchen.

“Hey, how are you?” I greeted her with a hug and a smile.

“Wonderful, thank you,” she said.

“So, Karen, Oliver’s ex wife is coming over and bringing Ben and Michael. It’s their week with us,” Elio said. 

“Ex wife? Has the divorce been finalized?” Valerie asked looking my way.

“Yup, in January,” I said nodding.

“Ok!” She said. “So, next sonogram is in a month and I’ll be twenty weeks and if we want they can tells us the sex of the babies,” she said. Elio and I looked at one another.

“Ok, maybe we can both go?” He asked me.

“I’ll go! But I went to the first one, it’s up to you. Would they allow three people?” I asked Valerie.

“I can call and ask,” she said smiling widely.

“Please ask,” Elio said nodding.

About half an hour later Karen was knocking at the door. I went over and opened it up and she came in with Ben and Michael. They already knew Valerie and said hello to her.

“Karen, this is Valerie. Valerie, this is Karen,” Elio said introducing them to each other.

They greeted. “Congratulations!” Karen said.

“Thank you so much,” Valerie replied.

We all went outside. It was a nice, fresh, Sunny day. I started putting food on the barbecue and the boys ran around playing. This felt nice and right. I imagine us getting together like this as time wore on. Maybe Karen would find someone else to be happy with. Valerie was young and would for sure find someone to be happy with. She could easily have more children if she chose to and the twins could end up with more siblings. I took a deep breath in and out.

I glanced at Elio. He was chatting and with Karen and Valerie who were getting along fairly well. As Ben and Michael were running around Ben tripped and fell and Elio quickly got up and walked over. Ben started crying so Elio picked him up to comfort him. I saw Karen look over and just resume her conversation with Valerie as Elio walked in the house with Ben, I’m sure to clean his face up a little.

“This is a pretty home but it’s going to get crowded soon,” Karen said as I walked over to join them at the outdoor table.

“Yeah, we’ll be relocating somewhere bigger soon,” I said.

“Close by?” Karen asked.

“Has to be since Elio and I both work in the area,” I said nodding.

Elio came back out with Ben and put him down. He ran off again.

 

* * *

 

“C, D, E, F, G!” Ben said excitedly as he touched the keys.

Elio grinned and looked up at Karen. My heart filled with pride and I smiled at Karen’s shocked look on her face. We had all eaten and had come inside and Elio told Karen she wanted to show her Ben’s progression on the piano.

“Wow! Benny boy! You’re amazing!” She said. She looked at me. She looked shocked. “Holy cow!” She said. She looked down at Elio.

“He’s a natural,” Elio said.

Karen looked at me. “I don’t know anyone that plays anything in my family,” she said.

“Me neither,” I said. “I think I have some snotty cousin that plays it but nothing like our little Mozart here,” I said ruffling Ben’s hair. Elio laughed.

“And soon you may have a couple of more little piano players in your home,” she said to Elio.

He shrugged. “Depends. I was never forced by my parents. I always just enjoyed it. I want to make sure they feel the same. I want Ben to keep learning as long as he keeps enjoying it,” Elio said.

We moved into the kitchen. I had gotten a nice big fruit salad for everyone to enjoy. We continued talking and laughing. Valerie put a movie on for the boys.

Elio filled Karen and Valerie in on the progress of his Beethoven spotlight concerts, answering any questions Karen had. I felt a huge sense of pride as I heard him talk about his concerts. His demeanor changed, as did his face whenever he talked about his concerts. He was so gorgeous. There were times where I still was taken aback by how grown up, how manly he looked. Then I remember, well he is 25, and then I felt more blown away because he was ONLY 25. I sighed.

“Wow! Paris!” Karen said. She looked over at me. “You’re going obviously.”

“Yeah, last concert is during spring break,” I said. “So I’ll be going to that one.”

“Perfect because I wanted to have the boys for spring break.” Karen said.

The evening wore on and we enjoyed nice and friendly conversation. Finally Valerie and Karen decided it was time to go. We all hugged each other. Karen and Valerie exchanged phone numbers. Karen mentioned it would be Ben’s third birthday in March and told Valerie she would love for her to come along. Valerie told her she definitely would.

We bid them farewell and then Elio and I served the boys dinner. Elio kissed me as I leaned back onto the kitchen counter. “I felt this was a success,” he said with a beautiful smile on his lips.

“Indeed it was,” I told him wrapping my arms around him.

 

Once the boys were done eating, we gave them a bath and read a few stories to them. We kissed them and tucked them in and went into our bedroom. I undressed and collapsed on the bed. I closed my eyes. I felt Elio kiss my cheek and felt him settle on the bed. “May I read you something?” He asked me softly.

“Yes,” I said opening my eyes. I sat up and saw he had one of the leather bound journals in his hand. I smiled at him. He reached over and held my hand.

He looked into my eyes and then looked down at the journal. “My father has always been my hero. He personifies strength, love and calmness. I always aspired to be a man that he is proud of and the type of father I wish I would be. I had never given much thought to being a father until I met your sons,” he glanced up at me. I squeezed his hand. “I had never wondered about myself or asked myself what lessons I felt I could teach a child. Now that I have met yours I find myself wondering what could I bring to the table. What lessons could I pass down to them that would make a difference and enrich either lives.”

He put my hand down quickly and turned the page. I loved the way his fingers moved. He picked up my hand again. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be anyone in your children’s lives,” he said smiling. I had to smile too, since we now knew how this had worked out. “But your children are lucky to have you. Regardless of everything and in spite of how you may feel at this moment in your life, Oliver, I hope you know that the father that you are is exactly the type of father that MY father would want you to be and expect you to be.” He glanced at me again. I felt the tears sting my eyes. He looked down at his journal again. “We are not perfect, we’re only men, but in your sons eyes you are a hero as my father was in mine. I hope you are able to see yourself as they see you. I hope too, you see yourself as I see you. As perfect. I love you.” He put the journal down.

I sat there staring at him. “I.. don’t know what to say,” I said after a moment.

“You don’t have to say anything, baby,” Elio said to me as he climbed on me and kissed me. “And now you’ll be a father again when my children are born.”

“Yes,” I said smiling.

Elio pressed his lips to mine. “I just want you to know how amazing I think you are,” he said softly as he kissed me more. I felt warm all over. I felt as if I was melting. 

“Thank you,” I said softly.

“Undress, lay down baby, on your stomach,” he said. 

I did as he asked. I felt his lips on my neck. I felt his hands slide up my back and he entered me slowly. He laid his body on mine. “I love you,” I said to him.

He took my hands and laced his fingers with mine, pressing my hands down onto the bed. “I love you,” he replied. “So, so much.”

He was soft and gentle and loving. He kissed and caressed my neck, shoulders, biceps and anywhere else he could reach. He told me how much I meant to him and how much he needed me. “I feel the same way,” I whispered softly.

He laid on me and wrapped his arms around me. He laid his cheek at the base of the nape of my neck. His curls tickled my skin. I felt his hot breath on me. He held my tight. He went faster and harder and then I felt him climax. After a moment he turned me over and took me in his mouth. I watched as his lips wrapped around me. I reached down and slid my fingers in his dark curls. “You’re so beautiful,” I told him.

I felt his tongue roll around me. He sucked me hard. I groaned at how good it felt. His hands caressed my thighs. I closed my eyes and leaned my head black as I enjoyed the sensation of sliding in and out of his mouth. His perfect lips tightening around me. I moaned as his warm mouth engulfed me.

He slid me out. I looked down and watched him as he kissed the underside on my erection working his way up to the tip, pushing it against my lower abdomen. He licked the wet spot it left behind ok my skin. He then rubbed his nose on it and I laughed as I saw him open his mouth and kiss and lick my erecting as he rubbed his face on it. “What are you doing?” I whispered, chuckling.

“Enjoying you,” He said. I looked down as he continued with the kisses and rubbing his nose and cheeks on my. I felt butterflies in my stomach my neck and face grow warm... was I blushing? I grinned and laid back. It all felt so good. After a while I felt Elio take me in his mouth again and I felt his wonderful, warm tongue press against me. He sucked me hard and I came in his mouth. He swallowed my release. It felt so good. 

He crawled up to me and hugged me and kissed me. “You’re so amazing,” I said as he wrapped his arms around me.

“Yeah, well it’s easy to be amazing when I have an equally amazing man to share my life with,” he said.

I looked into his eyes. “You make me amazing,” I told him.

“I may help bring it out, but it’s all inside of you. It’s you.” 

I pulled him to me. “We’re amazing,” I said.

“Indeed we are, baby,” he whispered to me.


	46. I Remember Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had not intended to write this but then I rewatched the movie before I did any writing on this day and then I HAD to write this and here it is! 
> 
> Enjoy my lovelies!  
> <3

For Valentine’s Day, Elio had a concert so I got another small cake from the French bakery and had it waiting for him when he came home. We had decided there was no need to buy anything, so I didn’t, but he came home with a dozen roses and long velvet box. It was a gold necklace that had a gold medallion with E&O engraved on it for me. I was shocked. 

“Well, you got me the Nikon and all I had was the journals,” he said shrugging with a huge grin on his face. He had obviously planned this.

“I can’t believe I fell for this!” I said while he laughed. I sat down so he could put the necklace on me. He then walked around and straddled me and rubbed his thumb over it.

“I see these and it’s a reminder to you and me and the world that you belong to me.” He said. He lifted my left hand and kissed the inside of my ring finger. “Till I can put something here of course,” he said.

I felt as if my heart could burst. “I hope that gets legalized sometimes in our lifetime,” I said hugging him tight. 

“Me too,” he said and kissed me. He fed me cake, between eating forkfuls if it himself and kept kissing me. We finished it soon enough. We kissed some more, my arms around his waist.

He slowly started rubbing himself against me. He reached down and undid my pants. He slid off me and stood up. “Take them off,” he said giving me a half smile. I slid my pants and boxers down. He knelt down in front of me and took me in his mouth. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. He was so fucking beautiful and his lips... god they drove me crazy.

I reached down and caressed his face and grabbed his hair. I moaned and let myself go. Karen had the boys so there was no need for us to try and be quiet. I lifted my hips up to his lips. “God your lips look so good around my cock,” I said.

I loved the way he looked at me after I said that. I came soon after. I was so turned on. I watched as Elio swallowed my release. The way he licked and wiped his lips after almost instantly made me hard again. He stood up and started undoing his pants. My heart was racing, I was panting. I couldn’t wait to please him. Elio cupped my jaw with his hand. “What are you thinking?”

“That I can’t wait to please you,” I said softly.

“Is that so?” He asked me softly.

“Yes, daddy,” I said softly. I felt my neck burn as the words escaped my lips.

The smile that spread across his face was the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen. He took a step closer to me, my left leg between his, and said, “Do you know how hard I get when you call me that?” He held his left hand out and I gave him my hand. He put my hand on top of his dress pants. I could feel him. He was rock hard. He pressed his hips forward as my palm passed over his erection. He grabbed my shoulder and leaned into my palm a bit. His hips moving along with my touch.

I looked up at him. I leaned forward and lifted his button up shirt. I kissed his smooth skin. I licked it as I gave him open mouth kisses. I felt his hands in my hair. I looked up at him. “How are you going to please me?” He asked me softly. 

“Anyway you want me to,” I answered him, looking into his eyes. It was so true.

I saw him run his tongue along his bottom lip. It was like he was trying to decide what he would like to have me do. I felt excited and aroused. I still had my palm pressed against his erection. I had been rubbing it slowly. “Anyway I want...” he said softly. I nodded yes and leaned forward, kissing his erection through his pants. I heard a soft satisfied moan.

He swung his left leg over my right leg and sank back down on me. He started kissing me. I greedily wrapped my arms around his waist and ran them up his back. I started unbuttoning his shirt, needing to feel his skin against mine. Finally his shirt was off and he helped me pull mine off.

“You feel so good against me,” I said as I pulled him close. I felt Elio’s lips on my neck. I touched his smooth skin all over. “So perfect,” I whispered. I stood up. I made sure Elio was securely around me and walked down to our bedroom.

“I love how you do this,” he said, laughing softly as I walked into the bedroom.

“What? Carry you?”

“Yeah,” He said.

I laid him down gently on the bed and took his pants off. I was undressed already, having discarded all my clothes in the kitchen. I started kissing up his left leg. I kissing the soft skin of his inner thigh before taking him in my mouth. I loved his moans and the way he arched his back. I put his left leg over my shoulder as I slid as much as I could fit of him in my mouth. I felt him tug at my hair. He pushed himself up to me. I sucked him harder. His moans filled the room. He came soon after. I swallowed everything he gave me greedily. I got up and got the lube from the bedside table.

I looked over him as he laid on the bed, on his back, arms and legs splayed out. His face and neck were flushed and he was panting, still feeling the effects of the orgasm he has just had. He looked my way and grinned. I grinned back as I grabbed his legs and pulled him to the edge of the bed. I felt him wrap his legs around me as I leaned forward and kissed him.

“I know you normally take control but -“

He put his beautiful fingers on my lips, “Baby you don’t have to explain why you’re in control now.” I nodded. “I love being dominant yes, but we’re partners and we’re equal and anytime you want me, you have can me, anyway you want.”

I felt my pulse quicken at his words. I quickly rubbed lube on my erection and slid into him. I loved the way he cried out, the expression on his face and the way he grabbed my arms to anchor himself. “You drive me so crazy!” I told him as I filled him. I pushed myself in as deep as I could. I gently stroked the hair off his face. I looked into his beautiful green eyes. “I remember touching you that day when you were watching me play volleyball,” I said softly. I saw his expression soften. “I remember thinking how beautiful your skin looked. You were glistening in the sun because it was so hot and you were a bit sweaty,” I said grinning. 

“You grabbed the bottle of water out of my hand and put your hand on my shoulder,” he said smiling.

“Why did you move away?” I asked him. He had never truly told me why. He had only said sorry when we had talked about it later. 

To my surprise he covered his face. He uncovered it after a moment and I saw he was blushing. I felt myself get harder and he moaned slightly as he felt it too. He grinned. “You made my knees weak, Oliver,” he whispered softly. He looked up at me. “I was already so infatuated with you and then you touched me and my knees almost gave out on me I had to move away. Then you grabbed me and started rubbing my shoulder!” He shook his head and chuckled.

I shook my head in disbelief. “I wanted to touch you so badly. When you pulled away I couldn’t help but pull you back and then I felt horrible afterwards. I was telling myself you wanted to get away from me and I felt so bad because I couldn’t just let you go. I pulled you back because I wanted nothing more than to have my hands all over you.”

“All over me?” He asked as he ran his hands up and down my chest.

“All over you,” I repeated as I started thrusting into him. I leaned down and kissed him. “All over your beautiful body, your beautiful skin,” I said panting. I kissed him and rested my forehead on his.

“I wanted that so badly. So badly. Then you didn’t come to dinner that night and I was so upset,” he said. “I sulked all fucking night,” he said. I looked down at him as we panted. I loved being this close to him. Sharing the same air. He had a tight grip on my biceps. It felt so good how his fingers dug into my skin. He moaned as I pushed myself in deeper.

“I was worried I had pushed it too far. I felt like you hated being touched by me and I ran. I escaped. It was the only thing I could think of doing,” I kissed him. Hard. All those emotions came rushing back. I started thrusting harder. “You’re mine now, though. All mine.”

“And you mine,” he said. He spread himself wider for me. I groaned with deep satisfaction as I sunk deeper into him. I kissed his beautiful lips and face.

“I would be happy spending eternity right here,” I said. I felt his lips on the side of my face.

“Mmmmm,” Elio said as he wrapped his beautiful body around me. Memories and emotions came flooding back and suddenly it seemed so incredible that we were here together. Just as in love. Just as crazy about each other. “Elio,” came his whisper in my ear.

I leaned down and kissed him. “Oliver,” I whispered back. 

“Elio, Elio, Elio,” he repeated softly.

I felt my body tense. I squeezed him tightly to me. “Oliver... Oliver... “ I came deep inside him. “Oliver.” I panted.

Elio hummed in deep satisfaction. We held each other tight for a long while. I slid out and cleaned up. We got under the covers and held each other tight. We exchanged kisses and caressed. Elio stilled and I thought he had fallen sleep. It surprised me when I heard his voice. “How often do you think about that summer?”

I smiled and pulled his closer. “Often,” I said. I felt his body shake as he laughed softly. “You?”

“Often as well,” he said caressing me more. “Elio,” he whispered softly. “What made you want me to call you by your name?” 

I took a deep breath in. I felt so much. It took me a moment to speak. “I had just given myself to you in a way I had never given myself anyone before,” I whispered. “I loved you. I wanted you. I needed you. I didn’t know where you ended and where I began. It just came to me.”

“Mmmmmm,” Elio said as he buried his face in my neck. “I remember that night so clearly.”

“Oliver,” I said smiling and kissing him. “I remember everything.”


	47. I’m All Yours

March rolled around. It was time for Valerie’s second sonogram. Valerie had called and they had said yes, three people could be in the room. Valerie was prepped and Elio stood holding Valerie’s hands with one hand and squeezing mine with the other. 

“Ok! Let’s take a look at those babies!” We had Lori again, the same technician as last time. I felt Elio squeeze my hand harder as the sound of the heartbeat filled the room.

“That’s amazing,” he said as his eyes filled with tears. Lori gave him a moment before continuing. I thought that was sweet.

“Do we want to know what sex the babies are?” She asked. 

“Yes!” Elio said quickly. His eyes were wide. I felt my heart melt.

“Ok!” Lori said. She started taking pictures and pointing out little body parts of the baby. “Baby number one is... a girl!”

We all started crying. I couldn’t believe it. A girl. I was happy. So happy. She had Valerie turn towards her and we started checking out the second baby. Again, pictures of tiny feet and little hands. “A boy!” Lori said.

I heard Elio gasp. He leaned against me. I grinned. I looked at Elio. He looked so happy. I couldn’t be happier.

 

* * *

 

The tickets for the concert had gone up and Lindsay showed up at our home a week after to tell Elio that his album sales were through the roof.

“It’s incredible! I mean you actually exceeded sale expectations when your Bach Spotlight concert CD came out but nothing like this Elio! Nothing like this! You doubled your total sales in a week!”

“Wow!” Elio said with a shocked look on his face.

“That’s amazing!” I said wrapping my arms around him.

“SO!” Lindsey said walking into the living room and pushing up her sleeves. “We need to talk, I’m glad you’re both here. Sit!” Elio and I sat down. “There’s going to be a sudden interest in you, Elio and your life and I think it may be a good idea for you to do an interview with someone.”

“Someone?” Elio asked.

“Well, I’ve had calls already and I think it would be good if maybe you do a magazine interview and something on tv. I was thinking you did Entertainment Tonight, and maybe People magazine. What do you think?”

“Uh...” Elio looked at me. He looked like a deer in headlights. “Lindsay, I’m about to start my concerts at the end of this month, I...” He shook his head.

“Ok, listen me,” she said grabbing Elio’s hand. “You told me you wanted to be a famous pianist. You told me you wanted to sell albums and tour the world and make a lot of money. It’s happening. Ok? This can seriously take you to the next level but we have to handle this right. Now you HAVE to do a couple of interviews. The one for People Magazine can be done on the phone, I’m already working on that. You will have to do a photoshoot BUT you were going to do one anyway for the posters for the concerts, so we can do both. We can just go from suit to casual.”

“Yeah, next week,” Elio said.

“What if I have Entertainment Tonight meet you in Paris? You can do something the day before the first concert, they can meet you in your hotel room.”

Elio leaned back on the couch and let out a breath. “Yeah, ok, I can do that.”

“Ok!” Lindsay said smiling. She was in her element. She was thriving in all this. “Now, one more thing,” she said. “Elio, you’re gonna get asked if you’re single or dating.” I felt him tense and I felt tense myself. We looked at one another. “I know you two are happy and I know you two are in love, but, I also know you two value your privacy and we know how some people can be.”

“Yes,” I said. I took hold of Elio’s hand and squeezed it. “Yes, we do.”

“Ok. I’m just gonna come out and say it, and you two can have at me after I say this, but I think you should keep your relationship private for the time being. Elio if you’re asked you don’t have to say yes or no you can skirt around the question and just say that right now your passion is music and that’s what you’re focusing on at the moment. You’re extremely charming so we can stave off those questions for a while.” She looked at both of us with her brows raised. 

I swallowed. I looked at Elio. I couldn’t really tell what he was thinking. “I won’t lie and say I’m single,” he said.

“I’m not asking you to. I’m saying you don’t answer it. I can have a person, some one to coach you. Someone who is trusted. You can both be coached.”

“Both of us? Why me?” I asked furrowing my brow.

“The concert is gonna be covered heavily because Margaret Winters is the most famous pianist in the world. The final concert in Paris is going to be like a red carpet event. Chances are you’re going to be asked a few questions because your seat is one of the reserved ones. You and your parents, Elio. So, a little coaching won’t hurt anyone.” Lindsay said. I felt my eyes widen. “You can say something along the lines of you’ve known the Perlman’sfor almost a decade and you’re honored they invited you and Elio is a great talent.”

I nodded and smiled at Elio. That seemed easy enough. “It’s ok. We’ll deal with it.” I said.

He nodded. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry this is stressful for you.”

“Elio this isn’t stressful for me. Are you kidding me? I love you. I love us. I’m so proud of you. You’re amazing and I’m happy all your dreams are coming true. No one deserves this more than you.”

Elio grinned and leaned in and kissed me. “Thank you baby.”

“Ok, I’ll get the coach session set up. One last thing, Elio.”

“Yeah,” he said.

“Get a cell phone. It’s time. Plus since you’re about to have a couple of babies you should have one anyway.”

“Ok. Will do. Anything else Lindsay?”

“No,” she said standing up. We stood up and she came to us and hugged us. “Oliver, I’m gonna tell you what I told Elio when he hired me. I’m on your side. Your image is my image and your success is my success, so I am nothing but dedicated to get you all you want. In return I ask for honesty. So if anything happens that can affect Elio’s image and success I need to know. Ok?”

“Yes, ok,” I said nodding. This felt slightly intense. I had never thought of any of this before.

“Elio, you’re gonna need a bigger home. Look into security and make sure it’s gated please. Don’t worry about affording it because I’m redoing your contract with the LA Orchestra after you’re done your Beethoven Spotlight concerts. I already have offers from orchestras in Europe and Asia in case LA doesn’t want to pay you more.”

“Lindsay I’m not moving to Europe or Asia!” Elio said furrowing his brow.

“Of course you’re not but my job is to get you top dollar and I’m going to remind the LA orchestra how lucky they are to have you. Also a single call to the conductor will fix that but I have to show you’re worth what I’m planning to ask for for you. Anyway, good seeing you both. I will book our tickets some time this week so Oliver call me no later than Tuesday with the dates of when you need your tickets and which concerts you’re going to. Good seeing you both!” 

We walked Lindsay to the door and waved to her as she walked briskly to her car.

Elio closed the door and looked up at me. He looked nervous.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean.. I never thought of this.”

“What? You mean the interviews?” Elio nodded. “Elio I don’t care. I don’t care who knows and who doesn’t. We’re together. I love you and you love me and you play piano and live your dreams.”

He breathed out and hugged me. “I never thought of this. When I hired Lindsey I never thought about all this I just told her I wanted to be rich and famous,” he said blushing.

“There is nothing wrong with that my love,” I said caressing him. I pulled back and gave him a long, tender kiss. We pulled back and I looked down at him. “You were lucky and grew up in a safe haven where you could be you. We will do that as much as we can for our children. But neither of us grew up with two dads,” I said. I looked at him straight in the eye. “Now I love you more than anyone could ever love someone, Elio. You’re my best friend. My love. My...” I felt my heart thumping. “Soulmate,” I said softly.

I saw his face soften and his eyes give me an adoring look. “You’re my soul mate, too, baby,” he whispered.

I nodded. “So your dreams are my dreams. As wonderful as it is that they’re coming true, our number one priority will always and forever be our children. So, let’s think of them whenever an interview comes along.”

He nodded. “Yes,” he said.

“Who knows,” I whispered caressing his face. “It’s 1991. Maybe society will become more accepting and maybe one day we can be us and no one will care. In the meantime, let’s be cautious. For our babies. Our four babies,” I said grinning.

“Of course,” Elio said looking at my lips and kissing me. He pulled out of my arms and looked around. “Fuck we’re gonna need to a hire and interior designer,” he said. 

“What?” I asked.

Elio’s eyes widened. “When we buy the new house. We’re gonna need an interior designer! What if we start rubbing shoulders with some famous people that are gay and no one knows and they come ever to whatever home we buy. Hello! What a disappointment if our home doesn’t look AMAZING!” He said with a huge grin.

I let our a laugh. I couldn’t help it. “Maybe we can tell them we’re not that kind of gay,” I said shrugging.

“I’m with you ok. I’m like shacked up with a Adonis! I fucking AM that kind of gay!”

“Oh so this is my fault somehow?” I asked grinning. 

“Fuck yes,” Elio said, suddenly grabbing me from behind and squeezing me. Hard. I cried out and he laughed. “This is all your fucking fault Oliver. Being all perfect and gorgeous and making me weak at the knees and making me fall in love with you and making my life the absolute sweetest mess.”

I grinned at him. “Ok. Yeah. It was my fault. But if you hadn’t been an angelic, sexy and smart European sexpot, then nothing would have ever happened,” I said running my hands thought his dark curls and tilting his head back.

“Sexpot?”

“Yeah. A European one.”

“Fuck you,” He said laughing.

”Yes you should fuck me,” I said pulling him down the hall and towards the bedroom. 

 

* * *

 

 

Karen and I put the house for sale in March and had an open house the second weekend of the month. Valerie took care of the boys Saturday and Elio Sunday. To our happy surprise on Monday we received a call from our realtor that we had received three offers and in the following week and a half she worked everything out and finally an offer was accepted and paper work was started.

That Monday evening we met the interview coach Lindsay had set up for us. Her name was Tamara. She was very to the point.

“Now, you have the right to ask the person doing the the interview if you could see their questions and if you see something you don’t like, you can tell them you will not answer it,” she said. Elio nodded. “But lets not go to that extreme yet, let’s see how these interviews go and we’ll take it from there,” she said with a smile. She was pleasant and gave Elio and l lots of pointers about how to stay in control of an interview.

 

A couple of weeks after that, we celebrated Ben’s third birthday. Originally Karen was going to have the party on Saturday evening but she changed it to Sunday at noon when Elio told her he had a concert.

“Thank you so much, Karen,” Elio said, beaming at her.

“Of course! I want you there and Ben wants you there. Plus...” she squeezed his hand. “It’s just the right thing to do. We’re here for all our kids.”

Valerie came, of course, and Karen invited Steve, who she called her friend, and his two daughters. One was eight and one was six. He shook hands with all of us. He was a high school English teacher, and he didn’t ask anything about Elio and I or inquired about Valerie. I’m turn we didn’t question anything about Karen and him, but the mood was light and fun and nothing felt awkward. He was extremely pleasant and I felt relaxed around him. He had an easy going nature. Valerie and Karen spent a great deal talking and Steve spent quite a bit of time talking to Elio and I about many things, but mostly books. This was a topic Elio and I could go on for hours about and it was nice that he could contribute to the conversation in an intelligent way.

Valerie, Elio and I left with Ben and Michael before it got too late. Elio and I shook hands with Steve and I told him maybe he and Elio and I could do something with the boys sometime. He said he would be looking forward to it.

I hugged Karen good bye. “Thank you,” she said softly. 

“Of course,” I said. I felt happy for Karen.

 

* * *

 

A week later Elio did his photo shoot. It was during the week and I was kind of upset I wasn’t able to go. I was glad when he told me the photographer was going to give him free prints. When I saw them I felt as if I would melt.

”Elio, my god. You’re so incredibly handsome,” I whispered to him. He blushed. I caressed his cheeks and kissed him.

 

His interview with People Magazine was the Saturday before he started his concerts. He told Lindsay to make sure it was a Saturday so I could be there. She made it happen. I sat beside him and held his hand. It didn’t even last thirty minutes. He let out a huge breath when it was over.

“You did wonderful, my love,” I said.

“Thank you,” He replied, kissing me. “I’m so glad they didn’t delve into my personal life.”

“Me too,” I said caressing him.

He leaned into me. “Thank you for everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” I said.

“Today is Saturday and my first concert is Friday. Apart from practice Tuesday and Thursday I’m free to prepare as I wish.”

I nodded as I held him. “And Karen has the boys this week so I’m all yours. What do you need?”

“You,” He said sighing. “Just you.”

“Anything you nee, my love,” I said holding him tight. “I’m all yours.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I think from the moment that Elio for the job with the orchestra and I had him composing and putting out albums, I think you all felt or knew I was setting him up to have a life as someone famous, someone in the public eye. Of course, him being in a same sex relationship and this being the early 90s, there will be plenty of challenges to all of that.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed my lovelies and keep enjoying the story!  
> Hugs <3


	48. Preparation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My lovelies:
> 
> Apologies in advance. I wrote this chapter during the whirlwind that was TIFF and we were inundated with them reuniting... the Instagram stories pushed me over the edge and this chapter was a result of all the feels I got!  
> So I hope you’re in the mood for smut with 3 lines of dialogue at the end! 
> 
> Enjoy!  
> <3

I blinked my eyes as I woke up. I wasn’t sure what time it was. The sun was just rising. The bedroom was still mostly dark. I stretched. I wasn’t sure why I was awake. I looked over and saw Oliver sleeping peacefully. If I could put all he made me feel into a bottle and sell it I’d be the richest man in the world. 

I thought of how it would be like once the twins were here. I reached over and caressed his shoulder. He stirred a bit. His eyes opened and he saw me and he leaned into me, falling back sleep. I smiled and held him. His body felt so good against mine. I drifted off to sleep again.

 

I woke up. I felt good. Really good. A moan escaped my lips. I felt Oliver’s hands all over me. He was sucking me. I was so hard. I looked down and watched as Oliver slid me in and out of his mouth. I reached down and grabbed his hair.

“Get the lube,” I told him. “I need to fuck you.”

He sucked me hard as he slid me out of his mouth. I watched as he got the lube. I propped myself up on my elbows. I watched as he stroked me and put the lube on me. He smiled at me. He was so gorgeous. My heart skipped a beat still when I looked at him. I got up on my knees and took his face and in my hands.

“Since you’ve been so good and woke me up in such a lovely way I’m going to let you decide what position I’m going to fuck you in,” I said softly. I love the soft blush that washed over his cheeks.

“Bend me over the side of the bed,” he says softly.

“With pleasure,” I said. I got off the bed and he did as well. I stood behind him and wrapped my arms around him. “It’s incredible how absolutely gorgeous you are baby,” I said as I run my hands up and down the front of his body. I pressed my cheek against his back and reached down and wrapped my fingers around his erection. He moaned and I saw the goosebumps on his skin. I loved that. I kissed along his back, between his shoulder blades. I stroked him a few times. “Bend over baby,” I said. He obliged. “So perfect,” I whisper to him. 

I leaned over and kissed down his spine. I ran my hands down his body. I used my right foot to spread his legs further. My heart was pumping. I felt adrenaline coursing through me. Moments like this, when Oliver was submitting to me, there was nothing like this, nothing that compared to this. He gave me his everything and it was my job to please him in every way and leave him wanting nothing.

I placed my tip right at his entrance. The rush I felt, knowing I was the only one that had ever and would ever, have him this way, it pulsed through my veins every time before I enter him, made me even harder than I thought possible. All I could think about right now was filling him and pleasing him. I wanted him to beg me to stop and to beg me to keep going all I once. I caressed his perfect ass cheeks, reveling in the softness on the skin and then slowly spreading him apart. I entered him slowly. The feeling was amazing. Every time, better than the last.

I moaned with pleasure. I slid in, pushed myself in all the way and stayed in. Deep. Oliver’s body, tight and warm around me. It hugged me perfectly. He was made just for me. There was no doubt in my mind about that. I stayed still a moment, letting my hands wander, freely, caressing his perfect golden skin and his perfect body. 

“You’re the most beautiful human being, baby. So perfect. So breathtaking,” I said softly. I was always overcome by emotion when it came to him.I started sliding in and out of him slowly. I moaned at how good it felt. This is something I had to concentrate about. It was so easily to let go and loose myself in my desires but I wanted to last a while. I wanted to enjoy all of him for as long as I possibly could. I wanted him to be pleased every single moment I was inside him. I heard him moan as I slid inside. This made me smile. “Is it good, baby?” I asked. 

“Yes,” I heard him reply breathlessly.

I leaned forward, placing my palm on his back. My thrusts are long and slow. I enjoy the feeling of every inch of me sliding in and out of him. I look down and watch as my long, hard erection disappears inside of him. I hear more moans and groans from Oliver. Every sound he makes is a perfect melody for what my body does to his. I had told him before, he’s the most beautiful instrument I had ever played. The sounds he makes as I please him, either by making love to him or fucking him, by sucking him, kissing him and caressing him, will always be the most beautiful symphony I’ve ever brought into existence.

I pull almost all the way out, keeping my tip in, and slowly slide back in. I pull almost all the way out again, taking my time as I slide back in him. This elicits another moan for Oliver. So beautiful. His moans permeate my skin. I pull out and started going back in a bit quicker. I slowly pick up speed. His moans and groans get a little louder the faster I go. This makes me smile. This pleases me. While I’m inside of him, the world is perfectly still and I can do no wrong. All I do is right. His body is always receptive to what I am giving him. “So good,” I tell him. Its all good. Him. Me. Everything.

“Harder, daddy, please,” I hear him say. My cock twitches and hardens even more at this. 

I thrust myself in forcefully. Hi cries out. “You need it harder?” I asked him, caressing his skin.

“Yes, please,” he groans.

“Anything you want, baby,” I say as I pick up the pace. He’s moaning and writhing under me. He’s so beautiful like this. I thrust in harder. It’s my turn to groan and writhe as the waves of pleasure wash over me. “Fuck, you’re so good to me,” I tell him. He needs to know how amazing his body is and how much pleasure he brings me. I lean down and kiss his back, I lick his soft skin. I feel the goosebumps forming on him. I grin at this. He’s so receptive to me, it’s so beautiful. No one else could give us what we give each other. This we knew, he and I.

I feel another wave of ecstasy run through me and I start thrusting faster. I love the sounds our bodies make as we fuck. Oliver grunts more, as do I. I grab his hips. I force myself to be quiet so I can hear the sound of my skin making contact with his as I thrust in him. I want to hear it, louder, so I thrust in harder. He whimpers now. My cock reacts to this. I feel almost animalistic at how his whimpers make me feel. I force myself to slow down. I kiss and caress his back. “You ok baby?” I ask.

I hear a soft “Yes.”

I grunt as I forcefully fuck him. I let go now. I don’t hold back. I feel him quivering under me, grabbing the bedsheets. His whispers and moans fill the air. “Do you need me to stop? Is daddy giving you too much?” I ask between pants. 

“Don’t... stop,” comes Oliver’s reply. I lean my head back and groan. Oliver is the only person that makes me loose control. It’s addicting. As I pound into him the world once again, stills and disappears and the only things that exists are him and I and our need for one another. I push down on him, pushing him into the bed. I drive into him harder. I don’t ever want this to stop. I need this as much as I need to breath the air in around me.

“Don’t come,” I tell him. “Don’t come.”

I hear him moan in protest. He tightens around me. I cry out. I have to thrust in harder. Deeper. I dig my fingertips into his skin as I climax. The explosive release is perfect and bitter sweet. I revel in the sweetness of filling my love with everything I have in me and yet, it also means our perfect moment of ecstasy is over. I collapse on his broad back. I kiss any skin I can, caress any part of him that I can.

“So good baby. You’re so good,” I tell him. I wish he could feel what I feel.

“I didn’t come,” he says.

“Mmmmm. Good,” I whisper. Once I soften, I slide out of him. I get up and grab a towel to clean up. I gently roll him over, climb on top of him and slide him into me. I love the way he gasps and the look on his face. 

I love how his strong hands grab my hips. “I love riding you,” I whisper as my body rises and falls on him.

“Why?” He asks.

I look into his perfect blue eyes, “Because even thought you’re owning me, I still feel in control. You’re fucking me and yet I feel as if I’m fucking your. It’s the perfect position,” I tell him.

He laughs. I love his laugh. He suddenly sits up and picks me up, flipping me on my back. “I love it like this,” he tells me and begins pounding into me.

I arch my back, throwing my head back and closing my eyes. This is Oliver. Rough, yet somehow gentle. Strong and powerful, yet needy and delicate. He fucks me hard enough where it hurts but is gentle enough to slide his powerful arm under me and I feel his fingertips caressing my skin. His hard, throbbing cock is thrusting deeper into me, wanting access to the deepest parts of me as his lips softly kiss my neck, his breath hot and tender on my collar bone. 

“Beg me... to come... in you,” his rough velvety voice says in my ear.

“Oliver. Please,” I say panting. “Fill me.... with...” he groans loudly as he comes. I love the way he shudders and pulls me closer to him. His groans and whimpers fill the room and I wrap my arms and legs around him as he collapses onto me. He nuzzles my neck. He’s making satisfied noises. They’re so beautiful.

“This is how you want to prepare for your concerts, right?” He asks me softly.

“Yes,” I respond.

“Good,” he says, kissing my chest. “Because I’m ready to do this over and over again.” I hold him tight and before I knew it he were drifting off to sleep again.


	49. Opening Night

Elio was pounding away at the piano while I cooked. I, for the first time saw his crazy, creative, genius side. I think if left alone he would do nothing but play, play, play.  

Once the food was ready I walked into the sun room and sat down beside him. He played a few minutes more and stopped. He looked my way. “Dinner time,” I saw reaching up and caressing his cheek. 

He nodded. He got up and stretched. I took his hand and walked him to the kitchen. I had already served us and had poured a couple of glasses of wine. “Oh this looks so delicious!” Elio said. That made me feel wonderful.

Once we were done eating I saw him quickly leaving the kitchen. “Elio!” I called out to him. He turned and looked at me from the doorway. “I’m going to clean up here. Once I’m done, you’re done with the piano for the day. I’m not letting you get burnt out.”

He bit the inside of his bottom lip and nodded and quickly went back to the sunroom. He was pounding away at the piano in no time. I actually took my time in cleaning up the kitchen just so he had extra time on the piano. Once I was done though, I walked to the sunroom. I sat on the chair we had there and watched him a while. He would replay the same parts. They would sound perfect but he would shake his head and replay them again. He would stop, I’d see him close his eyes and hum and then play again. Finally he stopped. He placed his hands on his thighs and looked at me, over his left shoulder. 

I smiled at him. “I think that’s enough for the day, my love.”

He nodded and got up. He walked to me and surprised me when he sat on my lap. He flung his legs over one side of the chair and rested his head on my left shoulder. I wrapped him in my arms and rested my cheek on his head. “You ok?” I asked him softly.

He nodded slowly. “I don’t want to fuck up,” he said.

“Elio,” I said gently. “When on stage, when have you EVER fucked up?”

“There’s a first time for everything,” he said chuckling. 

“No,” I said. “You’ll be perfectly fine. You thrive in this. You were made for this. You worked hard for this. 

I felt him relax into me. “Thank you, baby,” he said.

“You’re so very welcome,” I said. “By the way, I’ve asked Karen to keep the boys next week too,” I said softly.

He sat up. “You did?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I mean we can have them over a couple of nights, but your concerts were starting and Lindsay gave me a ticket to every single one, so...” I said with a huge grin.

“Really? Oh fuck yes!” He flung his arms around my neck. He pulled me tight. I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh thank you. Thank you. Having you there at every concert,” he pulled back. I loved the look on his face. I leaned in and kissed him. “Fuck, I love you. Thank you. That means so much to me. Thank you,” he said.

I looked into his beautiful eyes. “Elio,” I said. “I want to be there for you. Every step of the way.” I leaned in and kissed him again. “Does your back ache a bit from playing?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Sorta,” he said.

“How about a massage and a nice warm bath?” I asked.

“That sounds amazing!” He said grinning.

 

We made our way to the bedroom and he undressed and I told him to get on the bed, on his stomach. 

“I mean, if you just fuck me, that would be ok too,” he said. I kissed him all over his beautiful face and laughed. I had bought some massage oil. I poured some on my hands and gently worked it into his skin. I started talking to him about UCLA, my co workers, students of mine. I also talked about Ben and Michael. I talked about anything but his concerts or piano. 

“By the way, did you hear that Guns N Roses are coming out with double albums in September?” I asked Elio.

“Yes! I’m excited. We should go see them in concert,” Elio said. 

“That would be awesome,” I said. “Have you heard the REM album yet?” 

“Out Of Time?” Elio asked. I nodded. “Yeah its really good. Losing My Religion, wow.”

“I know,” I said. 

“Nirvana is supposed to come out with their second album in September too,” Elio said. “I think that should be good. Music is changing. I’m kinda into this new rock sound,” he said.

“Me too,” I said. “We should enjoy it now. God knows what our kids will be listening to when they’re teens and then we’ll be hating it.”

Elio laughed. “Speak for yourself! As a musician, I’ve always enjoyed a varied taste in music. I’m sure when the twins are 15 and Michael is 21, I’ll be jamming along with whatever they got playing,” he said laughing.

“Oh so you’re trying to say you’ll be cool dad?” I asked him.

“If the shoe fits!” He said shrugging. I leaned down and kissed his cheek. We walked to the bathroom and I started drawing him a bath. “Please join me,” he asked me.

“Yes, my love,” I said. We undressed and got inside the tub. He leaned back onto me as we settled into the warm, lavender infused water. I caressed his body under the water and he hummed softly. “I just want to remind you that you will be amazing and your concerts will be amazing. I’ll be there cheering for you in each one.”

I heard Elio sigh. “Thank you,” He said softly.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the week seemed to be a whirlwind and suddenly it was Friday and it was time for Elio’s first opening night in LA. I had gotten him off the piano earlier than usual the night before and I had given him a massage and a warm bath which I had seen had done a lot for him the days before. He had decided to pull out his journal and write a new entry in it.

He had looked at me and given me a sweet smile. “As we begin a new stage in our lives, the fact will always remain that you will always be my biggest inspiration. My muse. My love. My life. Without you, although I may have been able to achieve some dreams, I could not achieve all of my dreams, as life with you is one of them, and the dreams I have achieved are made richer by the presence of you in my life.”

I smiled up at him and kissed him. He said he wanted to fall sleep listening to classical music and we did. Surprisingly he didn’t want to listen to Beethoven but instead played some Chopin. He fell sleep pretty quickly and I was very happy about that.

 

Friday morning I let him sleep in. I was able to have the day off work once I had explained what was going on to the head of my department. He was very gracious and I was glad to hear he actually had bought Elio’s Bach Spotlight concert CD. I promised him a signed copy of the Beethoven one when it came out, which Elio had told me it would.

“We’re going to record the opening night in LA and the last night in Paris,” Elio had told me. “They’ll make a CD out of that.” 

I had felt so proud of him when he told me.

Friday morning, even I was feeling butterflies and made him a huge breakfast. He got up at about 10:30 and walked into the kitchen.

“That’s a lot of food,” he said laughing when he saw all I had cooked.

The phone rang and I picked it up. It was Lindsay. “Ok. Both of you, be ready by 2:30. There’s going to be a small gathering before the concert and some media had been allowed in. The LA Times and believe it or not, Rolling Stone Magazine. They’ll take some pictures and ask some questions. Then the concert. Let Elio know. Have him wear a suit for the gathering before, then he’ll change into the one for the concert after. We will meet with Margaret and the conductor before any media and the rest of the orchestra is let in. Got that?”

“Got it,” I said.

“Ok, see you at 2:30. Sharp.”

“Yes, see you then,” I said.

Elio had started eating and I filled him in in all Lindsay had said. “Rolling Stone? What the fuck?” Elio said laughing. “Maybe they’ll just be there to talk to Margaret. It’s all a bit insane,” he said. 

I shrugged my shoulders. “Hmm. Guess we’ll see when we get there.”

Once we had eaten, Elio and I showered together. He had dry cleaned several suits, and I told him how Lindsay wanted him to change later. He decided to go with black pants and a white button up shirt. He would wear a black velvet jacket first and for the concert he would change into a bow tie and black coattails. I nodded with approval.

  

I think I was more nervous than him when 2:30 came around. He looked extremely calm and composed. He had put on the watch I had given him and I had put the bracelet he had gifted me around his right wrist. “For good luck,” I told him with a kiss. He had had a haircut the day before so his hair was just below his ears. He had combed it back. I marveled at him as we drove in the back of the SUV Lindsay had picked us up in. I had a garment bag with his concert suit and tie.

“You both look wonderful,” Lindsay said from the front seat. I didn’t know who the driver was. Some big guy in sunglasses.

“Thank you,” Elio responded in a calm voice. The drive didn’t take that long. We were led through the back doors of the Bowl and Lindsay showed me where I could leave Elio’s garment bag. After a while and a lot of bustling from a lot of people back stage, Elio and I were called by Lindsay.

“Ok, Elio,” she started handing him a cold water bottle. She started talking about the two reporters that would be there. There would also be a couple of photographers. He was to pose with Margaret and then with the conductor and Margaret. “Seems Rolling Stone is doing an article on up and coming classical musicians, so you’re one of five musicians there covering so the questions shouldn’t be too personal but general and it seems you will all be asked the same questions.”

I looked around as I followed behind Elio and Lindsay. I had been backstage before but not this early in the show. It was kind of exciting seeing everyone bustling around. We were led into a large room. There was a long table with appetizers and bottles of water and juice.

The conductor came in with his boyfriend. We all hugged. Margaret came in soon after. She had a very glamorous silver dress. It had a big feathery trim around the the bottom. I gave her a polite hug and the conductor kissed both my cheeks. Margaret had several people with her. One gave me the air of an agent as he was bustling around and looking like he wanted to control everything, much like Lindsay did. There was an older man who I think must be her husband and a woman who looked about Elio’s age. It turned out that was her daughter.

“This is Marie, my only child,” she said. “My husband, Gerald,” she said. 

“Wonderful to meet you,” I said as I shook hands with them.

“This is my boyfriend, Oliver. The love of my life. Our children are a bit too small to bring out, maybe in a few years,” Elio said smiling.

“How old are your children?” Asked Marie.

“Michael will be six in May, Ben just turned 3 and our twins will be here in July!” Elio said sounding excited. I felt myself grow warm. Our children.

“How wonderful! I have a four year old and a one year old,” Marie said smiling. “My husband decided to stay home with them so I could come see mom and you perform. I’m so excited. I was actually wondering, Elio, if you would sign your CDs for me?” She asked.

Margaret laughed. “Elio, my daughter was dying to meet you! She hasn’t been to one of my concerts in a while!”

“Oh, really? Oh wow. Thank you. Yes, I’ll sign anything you’d like!” Elio said blushing. I watched as he signed a few CDs for her as well as two programs for tonight’s concert. I felt so proud of him.

The reporters came and Elio and Margaret were interviewed separately. “So how long have two been together?” Marie asked me as we looked on.

“We met in ‘83. Reunited in ‘88 and but finally got together officially last year,” I said.

She sighed and nodded. “It’s not easy, is it? I hope this changes soon,” she said patting my arm. 

“So do we. But we don’t let that hang over us and dampen our happiness. I’m so happy. I’m so in love,” I said. I felt I was rambling but I was feeling so emotional. “He’s just the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’m just so incredibly proud of him.”

“Oh wow. That’s so beautiful,” Marie said. She placed her hand on her chest.

Elio and Margaret and the conductor were taking pictures now. I saw Lindsay and Margaret’s manager talking to the photographers. Apparently they were discussing how many pictures they could take.

Finally the reporters left and only one photographer remained. The rest of the orchestra came in. Everyone mingled and chatted and had some finger food. About 45 minutes before the show, the conductor gave a small speech. Elio put his arm around my waist as he listened. Finally he and I walked to the dressing room where I had his garment bag. I helped him changed. I smoothed his hair behind his ears. My heart was pounding. He still looked collected and calm.

“How do I look?” He asked me softly. He looked up at me through his lashes.

I looked at him. “Perfect,” I whispered to him.

A small smile spread across his lips. “Tonight,” he said, “I’m playing for you. For our children. For us.”

“Good. Perfect,” I said. I leaned down and kissed him.

“Mr. Perlman, we’re ready for you, sir,” a man with a headset said. 

“Go kill ‘em, my love,” I said.

He grinned at me. Gave me a quick peck on the lips and left.

 

* * *

 

I was sitting in a box with the conductor’s partner, Margaret’s husband, Marie and Lidia, who I had invited. She had been so incredibly excited. “Oh god Oliver, I could have never afford these seats,” she told me.

“Don’t mention it,” I said. The concert was about to start and my heart started to pound. He was then introduced and I thought my heart would leap out of my chest as he walked into the stage to thunderous applause.

I looked on in absolute amazement as Elio played. I had heard these pieces time and time again at home, but finally, seeing him on stage with the rest of the orchestra was beyond amazing. Margaret was then introduced and the audience broke out into just as thunderous applause. The piece he and Margaret played together was incredible. He looked happy and lovely and he looked out at the audience and you felt he was drawing you in. A few more pieces and then the concert was over. The crowd erupted in a standing ovation and if I thought applause had been loud before, it was nothing compared to now.

Elio got the crowd to keep applauding for Margaret, which by the look on her face, she just loved. Elio put his arms out and bowed down to her several times. I thought that was adorable, but so Elio, he was so humble. He never lost sight of how amazing this was and how lucky he was to be able to live his dream. I absolutely loved this about him.

Lidia grabbed my hand. “Oh Oliver. You must be so proud!” she said. It warmed my heart to see she had tears in her eyes.  

“You have no idea,” I said as I kept clapping.

 

 

 

 


	50. Late Night Snack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... what’s everybody’s late night snack?? ;)
> 
> Enjoy my lovelies!  
> <3

As we were driven back home, I was incredibly glad I didn’t have to drive. I was happy but so exhausted. Lindsay kept praising Elio. 

“So amazing, Elio. God that concert was great!”

Elio smiled humbly and thanked her for the hundredth time. We were holding hands. We finally got home. Lindsay stepped out and hugged both of us.

“Ok! Get a good night’s sleep! One concert down, five more to go and then, six concerts in Paris!”

I smiled and looked over at Elio. He looked beautiful. He smiled at Lindsay and then she hugged me.

“Ok, rest you two. See you tomorrow. We’ll be here at 5 to pick you both up,” she said.

We nodded and thanked her and went inside our home. Once I shut the door Elio fell onto me, pushing me back against the door. I laughed. I hung his garment bag with his velvet jacked on the coat hanger by the door. I wrapped my arms around him and I felt his arms around my waist. I held him a while he finally straighten up and pulled me off the door. 

“Elio,” I said, looking into his eyes. “I have no words for tonight. You were magic.”

He shrugged a bit. “I was alright. Thank you, baby. Margaret was amazing!” He said chuckling. “I was just... proud to be on stage with her.”

Always so humble, I thought. “Well, I will brag about you to anyone that’ll listen,” I said with a smile. He laughed. “Are you hungry?

“I am,” he said.

“Ok,” I said taking off my suit jacket and loosening my tie. I started walking into the kitchen. “What do you want me to make? I -“

I felt him grab my arm and pull me to him. His beautiful fingers digging into my arm. “I’m not hungry for food,” he said quietly as his mouth found mine. His perfect lips pressing into me and his delicious tongue licking my lips and prying them open. I opened my mouth and granted him access to it. He hummed as he slipped his tongue in my mouth and felt him caress inside of it. He pushed me against the wall beside the entrance of the kitchen. He quickly went for my pants.

“You’re so sexy,” I told him.

He chuckled. “Am I?”

“You are,” I said. He reached into my pants. I was already getting hard. I moaned as I felt his fingers wrap around me and begin to stroke me. Elio looked up at me and held my gaze as he stroked me. He looked down at my lips and back up to my eyes. He leaned in and kissed me as I moaned. 

“You like that,” he said. It came out more as a statement than a question. I nodded. “Good,” he said leaning in and kissing my neck. I felt my knees getting weak. Elio noticed. “Down on your knees,” he told me.

I gladly slid down on to my knees. I was surprised when he also got on his knees and kept kissing me. We started undressing each other. We were in an absolute hurry to have our naked bodies against each other. Finally our clothes were strewed on the floor around us as Elio climbed on me and kissed me hard. I felt him push his hips on me. His erection, hard and throbbing. It rubbed against mine. I moaned on his lips as he did this. I felt the wetness dripping from his tip onto my abdomen. 

Elio got up on his knees, turned, facing my legs and took me in his mouth. I ran my hands up his thighs and reached up for him. I took him in my mouth as I felt his lips wrap around me. I moaned in pleasure as I sucked him as he rolled his tongue around my erection. He thrusted his hips down into my mouth as he sucked me hungrily. I wanted all of him in me. I pulled him down as much as I could. It felt amazing. I lifted my hips off the floor, wanting more of his mouth around me.

He slid me out of his mouth and I felt him stroke me quickly. He kissed and I felt him nuzzling my erection. “Oh fuck,” I tried to say, which didn’t work as I had his erection in my mouth. I felt his body shaking as he laughed softly. I think he knew what I was trying to say though.

I sucked him harder as he took me back into his mouth and sucked my tip hard, stroking the rest. I kept enjoying his body as he enjoyed mine. My hands, roaming and caressing and touching everywhere I could reach. I could feel him do the same, as he sucked me, his hands caressing me, finger tips digging into my skin. I felt him push into my mouth further. I knew he was getting close. He surprised me when he pulled out. He slid me out of his mouth. He got on his knees, and turned around again, facing me this time, knees in either side of my torso.

He started stroking himself. I looked up at his gorgeous face and was hypnotized by the fire in his eyes. I loved how he licked his bottom lip and how the muscles in his abdomen tensed. I got up on my elbows and looked up and down his beautiful body and took everything in as he kept stroking himself. I went to reach for him but he forbade me. “Hands down,” he told me. I clenched my jaw and watched him. “Open your mouth,” he said. I did as he asked. He groaned as he came and his release hit my mouth, chin, neck and chest. I swallowed as much as I could. He leaned down and kissed me roughly. He was panting. 

He kissed my chin and neck and chest. Licking and kissing his release. I watched in fascination. He worked himself down my body and took me in his mouth again. It didn’t take long for me to climax. He swallowed it all. I could hardly breathe. I fell back on the floor. “Fuck,” I said, panting.

I felt Elio rest his cheek in my abdomen. I reached down and caressed his hair and shoulders. We were still catching our breaths. “Can we just sleep here? My legs are jelly,” he said laughing.

“We could,” I said chuckling. “I just wonder what it’ll feel like tomorrow morning after a night on a hard wood floor.” 

“Right,” He said smiling. He lifted his head and placed his chin on my abdomen, looking up at me. I reached down and caressed his face. When we were finally able to move we slipped on our boxers and made our way to the kitchen.

“I’m starving!” He said.

“Oh, maybe I can -“

“No, baby you’ve done more than enough. I can do with some Captain Crunch,” he said with a grin. I laughed. He went to the cabinet where we kept the cereal. “Oh! Scrap that. Lucky Charms! Yes!” He said.

I reached and got two bowls and the milk. “What’s on tv at midnight?” He asked as he grabbed a couple of spoon and we walked out of the kitchen.

“I’ve no idea, Elio. We hardly have time to watch tv and at midnight we’re sleeping.”

“Or fucking,” he said with a gorgeous smile and a wink. This made my stomach flip. My heart thudded a bit harder. He was so sexy. I don’t think I would ever get used to it.

We sat on the couch and I put our bowls down on the coffee table. He grabbed the remote control and I poured cereal and then milk into the bowls. Elio had grabbed the remote and was flipping around the channels. He stopped and gasped. 

“Yes! Dune!” He said. I handed him a bowl and laughed. “The sleeper must awaken,” he said dramatically.

“You’re such a geek,” he said.

“Yeah and you love it!” He said.

“I do,” I said reaching over and caressing his thigh. I leaned back and as we watched the film.

“I read the book more than once. It’s awesome,” he said smiling. I couldn’t help but smile back. He was so beautiful and smart and talented and it was adorable how he still got carried away with something like a sci-fi novel. If given the chance he could talk hours about it. I was more than happy to let him. I’d let him ramble on about anything he loved and eagerly listen as I loved him and everything about him. 

“Yeah,” I said. “So how old were you when you read it?”

“I was thirteen,” he stared and started talking about it. He would stop and watch the movie and quote it at times. Other times he would say, “Oh, oh, watch this,” with a grin.

I refilled our cereal bowls. I leaned in and kissed his shoulder. He looked at me and kissed my lips. “Mmmm, so sweet,” I said.

He nodded and smiled. “It’s the Lucky Charms,” he said.

I laughed and turned back to watching the movie on tv.


	51. We Deserve Nothing Less

The concert on Saturday was just as wonderful. Valerie came to watch it. She told me she had seen him when he did the Bach Spotlight concert. “I was mesmerized,” she said. 

I nodded, understanding what she meant. “It’s hard not to be. He’s magnetic like that,” I said.

Sunday morning, while Elio was still in bed, I looked through the newspaper, looking for the article that I knew would be there about the concert. He and Margaret were on the front page of the Arts section. He looked so handsome in his velvet suit. Margaret looked very glamorous in her silver dress. I quickly read the article. It talked about Elio studying music in Rome, having been here as a guest and then a quote from the conductor saying he was a talent he couldn’t let go.

I proceeded to read the review of the concert itself. They said it was wonderfully executed. That where Margaret represented timeless class, Elio had an energetic edge and brought new life to classical music. The article said the music flowed through Elio and came to life in him. When I was done reading the article my heart was pounding. I was so happy. 

“Oh, should I read it?” Elio’s voice came from the kitchen entrance. I looked up at him.

“Yes! Well, let me read it to you!” I said excitedly. I did just that. Elio grinned. When I was done I kissed him all over his face. 

“That was nice,” he said shrugging. I hugged him.

“It was. But it was just the truth. I’m so incredibly proud of you,” I said holding him. I made him breakfast and kept him relaxed until it was time for us to go. Lidia joined me for the night’s concert. I loved how excited she was to see it again. I too felt I’d never tire of it.

 

* * *

 

Monday morning I stirred awake. Elio was sleep in my arms, resting on my chest. I held him, caressing his arms and back. I kissed his forehead. After a while he woke up. 

“Morning, baby,” he said softly. 

“Good morning, my love. How are you?” 

“Good,” Elio said. He stretched and kissed me. “So, all week off until my next concert on Friday,” he said. 

I nodded. “Good. You get to recharge and also pack. You’ll be there almost two weeks,” I said.

“I wish you would be with me the whole time,” he said softly. 

“I know. But I’ll be there the last 5 days,” I said, caressing him.

Sadly, his concerts in Paris hadn’t quite lined up with my Spring Break. Instead, my week off was this week. I would be at work the week he left for Paris but he was leaving on a Wednesday and I would only have a lecture in the morning so I could see him off. I would be missing the first three concerts he had there but I would be there for the last 3. The last concert would be the red carpet like event. I was excited about it.

“Well, at least we have this week together so that’s all that matters,” he said softly as he held me. “Maybe we should go to LACMA, it’s been a while since we’ve had time off together like this.”

“Yes, it has been. Yes, we should. It would be wonderful.”

We eventually got out of bed and I made us a quick breakfast. We showered and dressed and hopped into Elio’s car. We drove to LACMA which wasn’t that far away.

I loved looking at Elio’s face as he took the art in. He was so expressive. We had been there about 45 minutes when a middle aged lady approached us. “I’m.. sorry. I hope I’m not being rude, but are you Elio Perlman, the pianist?” 

“Yes, I am,” Elio said quietly.

“Oh! How lovely. I have your CDs! I’m going to your show this Sunday!”

“Oh, thank you, thank you so much. That’s wonderful!” Elio blushed slightly and you could tell he felt just a little awkward about the situation. His appreciation for the lady going to his concert and owning his CD was absolutely genuine though.

“Oh, my, I wish,” she started rummaging through her purse. “Oh, all I have is this pamphlet about the Japanese exhibit here. Would you sign it?” She pulled a pen out of her purse too.

“Oh, sure, of course!” He said. He smiled at her, “Ah, your name?”

“Oh! Agnes!”

“Ok, Agnes,” he said as he wrote on the pamphlet. I hung in the background and just smiled at this. The lady finally hugged him and she walked off. He looked at me and ran his hands through his hair. His cheeks were slightly flushed, as was his neck.

“Wow, Mr. Hot Shot Pianist,” I whispered.

“Oh, shut up,” he said but he was grinning. I laughed. We continued enjoying the museum and ended up that Japanese exhibit. We took our time to look through it. Thankfully, there were no more demands for autographs.

 

* * *

 

Elio and I had dinner at a beautiful French place down the street from the museum. I let him order in French. I loved listening to him speak it.

“So, that was interesting, being asked for an autograph,” I said. “Well, no it’s happened to you before in certain settings, I just don’t think it had ever happened when we’ve been out just like that.”

“Yeah, no it hasn’t. For all we know it could be a one and only type thing,” he said with a shrug and a smile.

“I think you and I can safely say it isn’t and won’t be and that may easily be the first of many more times that will happen in public.”

Elio just shrugged and shook his head, looking at me. “I’m sorry, did it bother you?”

Our food came at that moment and we thanked the waiter. “No, my love, it didn’t bother me one bit. I felt extremely proud. It was no big deal. The lady was pleasant and kind and she focused on you and got what she wanted and left. I just hope all your interactions are that pleasant.”

Elio picked up his glass of wine and took a sip. “As do I,” he said.

“Anyway,” I decided to change the subject and keep the conversation happy. “I think we need to get a bed for your mother as she’ll be coming back with us from Paris!”

Elio grinned. “Won’t that be amazing having her with us for a while?”

“So much,” I said nodding. “Ben and Michael are going to adore her and I’m so happy they’ll interact with her.”

“Me too,” Elio said leaning back on his chair. “Me too and I know how much she’ll love them. She loves you, so much,” he said to me smiling, “So having the boys with us and her being able to be with them every day,” he let out a breath. “It’ll be amazing.”

“It will be. And it’ll be even better when summer rolls around and your father can join us.”

Elio nodded. “So the lease is up in August. August first. When I come back from Paris we need to hit the ground running and find a new home. We will need the space.”

I nodded. “Do you still want to look into that private school you were talking about?”

“I do,” Elio said. “I’ll talk to Karen and I hope we can find common ground.”

I nodded. “Hopefully we can.”

The rest of the dinner was pleasant. Once we were done we drove to Santa Monica pier and walked around, looking at the various shops there and bought a few things. We decided to walk along the shore as we looked out into the sunset. The sky was turning ink blue by the time we started heading back towards the car. I suddenly remembered something and turned around. 

“Hmmm, look all the way down there,” I said to Elio, pointing further down the shore.

Elio turned and looked, furrowing his brow. “What? Where?”

“See, the bend, then that huge rock?”

“Ok?” Elio said.

“There’s where you gave me that amazing blow job and then I got sand all over my ass and balls and you wanted to fuck me. Remember?” I said quietly.

Elio’s eyes widened. He let out a gorgeous laugh. “The night of the Mexican restaurant. Wow, I’m feeling hungover just by the memory of it,” he said laughing again.

“Yeah,” I said as we tried to get as much sand as we could off our feet. “Yeah and I’m sure you had no lube on you,” I said.

“No. No normally the lube comes with me to the Japanese restaurant, not the Mexican one,” Elio said with a gorgeous smile on his face. We got into his car as I laughed. He grinned at me. “I’m sorry, I’m mean, you’re hot when I’m sober. Then I got drunk and we were on the beach,” he shrugged. “I don’t know how I was supposed to contain myself.”

I laughed and shook my head as we started making our way home. I reached over and took his hand with mine. “I loved today,” I said softly, squeezing his hand

“Me too baby,” he said softly. We stopped at a red light and he looked my way. “I love every moment I spend with you.”

“And I with you,” I whispered. We looked into each other’s eyes. “I love you,” I said quietly.

“I love you more,” he said.

“Impossible,” I replied.

He laughed. The light turned green and he started diving again. “It’s quite possible,” he said. He glanced my way. “Everything is possible,” Elio said. “Especially when it comes to me and you and us.”

I smiled feeling all warm inside. “Well, I second than,” I said. “And we deserve nothing less.”

“That’s right,” Elio said squeezing my hand tightly as we drove home.


	52. As It Should Be

“You’re lying to me!” I said as I looked into Oliver’s perfect blue eyes. 

“Ok, that should upset me! Because I would NEVER lie to you!” Oliver said. I burst out laughing. “I was 13 and I told my mother I wanted blue hair and she was like, yeah ok and just let me!”

“And she took you to a hair salon and they just did it.”

“Yes and I was sick of it like a week later but I had to wait for it to grow so I could cut it off,” he said.“She probably let me do it because she knew I’d be humiliated,” Oliver said shaking his head.

“Well, I never wanted to color my hair. I did have dreams of being a basketball player though when I was thirteen,” I said. Oliver looked at me and chuckled. “You could have been a basketball player!” I said slapping his knee. “You’re, you know, fucking huge!” I said laughing. 

“I’ll show you huge,” he said grabbing my leg, pulling me close and tickling me. I tried to get away but he quickly had me in his arms and was tickling me mercilessly. “Ok! Ok! I can’t breathe!” I said crying out and gasping for air. He hugged me and kissed me and let me go. I looked at him and kissed him back. 

We were on our couch, reading to each other and talking. We had a bowl of fruit on the coffee table and some bottles of water. It was Thursday and the whole week had been amazing. He had been off work and Karen had the boys. We met them Tuesday and Wednesday for lunch at Pizza Hut and then Chuck E. Cheese. She and Steve were taking them and his daughters to a cabin today and would be back Saturday night. They had driven by and Oliver and I had hugged them. We had bought them some activity books they could do on the drive up. We had gotten some for Steve’s daughters too. He was a nice guy and I was happy for Karen. I think we could easily do thanksgivings together.

I sighed and looked at Oliver who reached for the fruit and popped a piece of honey dew melon in his mouth. I studied him. He was so handsome. I remember seeing him arriving at the villa all those years ago.

“Remember the day you came to the villa. The first day. You passed out and you missed dinner?” He nodded looking at me. “Well, Mafalda used to ring that bell, remember?” He nodded. “I walked to the bathroom and I called out to you.”

“You did?” he asked.

“Yeah. I said ‘we’re being called for dinner’ I said. But you were so jet lagged. So I walked into my room and grabbed a thick book and dropped it on the floor to wake you up,” I said laughing.

“Seriously! That’s how I woke up?” He looked at me surprised, his eyes wide.

“Yeah,” I said grinning at the memory. “Didn’t matter, you didn’t come anyway.”

“I was so tired,” Oliver said.

“I know,” I said shrugging. “I just wanted to get to know you. I couldn’t wait to spend time with you,” I said softly. I sighed and looked at him. 

“Well, I’m glad you found me that interesting,” Oliver said. “It’s extremely flattering that an amazing person like you would find me interesting.”

“I did,” I said nodding. “And I mean,” I motioned up and down on his body. “Your physique wasn’t bad to look at either,” I said chuckling.

Oliver looked at me and smiled. He closed the book he had and held out his arms. I closed the book I had and kicked the books between us to the floor. I climbed on him and straddled him. I smiled down at him. I pulled him close to me, kissing his cheek and jaw.

“That summer,” Oliver said, resting his head on the back of the couch and looking up at me. “I found myself in the most amazing way,” he whispered. I gave him a half smile and kissed him softly.

“As did I,” I said. I caressed his face and marveled at how far we had come. “Have you thought about baby names?” I asked him. He nodded and held me tight.

“Just for our daughter,” he whispered. “Somehow I have a feeling I know what our son will be named.” He looked up at me and looked into my eyes. I nodded.

“Yeah, it’s sort of a no brainer. I talked about it with Valerie yesterday at the doctor’s. She felt like you just did and said she knew I’d want to name him Samuel,” I said smiling. 

“The world needs lots of and lots of Samuel Perlmans,” Oliver said. “We will be the best fathers and Valerie will be the best mother, so he will be just as wonderful as your dad,” Oliver said.

I nodded and smiled and sunk into him. This felt so good. “Valerie asked me about a girl’s name. We decided it should start with an S.” I said.

“As it should,” Oliver said.

“Tell me what you want her name to be,” I asked him holding his face in my hands. I remember not caring if the baby was a boy or a girl, as long as Valerie didn’t have any complications and the baby came out healthy. I remember how Oliver had told me he wanted a girl. It always warmed me from the inside to think about this.

“Well, I’m sure you and Valerie have some ideas,” he said.

“We do but I also want to hear yours,” I told him gently.

“Ok,” he said. He looked at me. “Sofia. But with an f. Not a ph.”

I grinned. “Then Sofia it shall be,” I said.

He looked shocked. “You need to discuss it with Valerie,” he said.

“Yeah, I did. We know we need a girl’s name with an S and she mentioned her mother’s middle name was Sophie. With a ph,” I said smiling down at him. “It’s perfect. Sofia.”

Oliver chuckled happily. “Really? I’ve had Sofia in my head for a few weeks now. I was trying not to get too attached to the name,” he said. 

I leaned down and kissed him. “Well, get attached to it,” I told him. “I’m going take off work until Labor Day weekend. The conductor knows. So, I told him it could happen any time July.”

Oliver nodded. “Right,” He said.

“Also,” I said looking into his eyes, “I’ve been thinking of maybe cutting down to two concerts a week and only one on the weekends. I want time with my children and I need time with you,” I said.

Oliver grinned up at me. “Yes, my love. I need time with you as well,” he whispered. “Whatever you feel you need, whatever makes you happy,” he said.

“I’m also...” I let out a sigh. “I want to focus on composing. I don’t mind the Spotlight concerts,” I said. “But now with the twins, I don’t want to have five concerts a week. I want to compose,” I said. “Compose and record.”

“Whatever makes you happy, my love,” Oliver repeated.

“Thank you baby,” I said. I leaned into him and pressed my lips to his.

  

* * *

 

 

I woke up Friday morning. It was very early and the sun had barely started to rise. I reached over and didn’t see Oliver. That was weird. I sat up. Oliver appeared at the bedroom entrance with a bowl in his hand and walked towards the bed.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey. You ok?” I asked.

“Yeah just woke up kinda hungry,” he said. He got back on the bed and I saw he had more fruit. He smiled and I leaned on him as he snacked on his fruit. “Want some?” He asked.

“No, thank you, baby,” I replied I caressed him as he ate. “Last three concerts in LA,” I said.

“Yeah, how are you feeling, my love?”

“Good,” I said glancing at him as he ate. “You’re so gorgeous,” I said grinning.

Oliver laughed and put the bowl aside. I knew he was about to lick his fingers so I grabbed them and licked his thumb and rolled my tongue around his index fingers instead. He gasped a bit. I climbed on top of him, pushing his shoulders back. Oliver looked up at me, eyes dark and flashing with desire. I loved how he was looking at me. “I need you to fuck me,” I whispered to him, leaning forward and licking his lips. I felt his tongue lick against mine and we kissed passionately.

“How bad?” He asked panting.

”So fucking bad,” I said biting his bottom lip gently.

He pushed up and grabbed me around the waist. He put me down on the bed and climbed on top of me. He thrusted his erection against me. As much as I loved dominating this golden Greek God I was lucky enough to call mine, the need of being fucked relentlessly by him was still very much present. He got up on his knees and got the lube and I watched as he rubbed it on himself. He got off the bed and grabbed my legs and pulled me to the edge. He lost no time in entering me.

“Fuck!” I cried out. The sting was so deeply pleasurable. He thrusted in deeply, making me groan. I looked up at him. He wrapped my legs around him and he started fucking me. I arched my back as he slammed into me. I grabbed a hold his arms, trying to steady myself. It didn’t work much. I felt amazing. I felt completely owned by him. It was hot, sexy and pleasurable beyond measure. My body writhed as waves of ecstasy washed over me. I closed my eyes and didn’t hold back, crying out as he fucked me. He seemed to love how vocal I was being and went even faster and harder.

“You drive me so fucking crazy!” Oliver said to me, leaning over me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. He slowed down and was thrusting just as fast but more gently. He kissed my lips and then worked down my neck. He kissed and licked and sucked whatever skin his mouth could reach. I kept moaning and groaning. Everything was feeling so good.

I felt him biting my neck gently and I lifted my head and bit him back. He gasped as I dug my teeth gently into his beautiful skin. He laughed softly and kissed me more. He slowed almost to a stop. He lifted me, keeping our bodies together, keeping himself in me, he laid me down in the middle of the bed. He was panting and looking down at me.

“I love you so much,” he said panting. 

“I love you, Oliver,” I said. “I love you.”

He started thrusting into me again. He began soft and slow and then started increasing his speed. I cried out and closed my eyes, throwing my head back and letting go completely. “God I love fucking you, Elio. I love you. I could never get enough. I want to fuck too forever.” He was panting and moaning, his voice was breathless and had so much emotion. I looked into his eyes. They were so intense. Guttural cries were escaping my lips.

He kissed me roughly again. He picked up the pace almost immediately as he began to kiss me. He pulled me tightly against him. My cries and moans fell on to his lips as he pressed them, open, into mine. I found it incredibly erotic, how he would open his mouth as I cried out, almost as if taking my cries and moans into him. I loved it. I loved how we were breathing the same hot air and I loved the sweat between our bodies. I could never have enough of his perfect, heavenly body. “Don’t... stop...” I said. I was begging. I never wanted this to stop.

“I won’t,” he said kissing and sucking my lips. “I won’t.” He meant it. He lasted an amazingly long time. He held me tightly when he finally came deep inside me. I held him tight as well. I never wanted to let him go. He seemed to sense it and kept me wrapped up in his arms until I began stirring under him.

He pulled out gently and grabbed a towel and very lovingly helped me clean up and quickly got back in the bed with me. He caressed me and gave me soft kisses everywhere.

“That was amazing,” he whispered as he nuzzled my neck. “Thank you.” 

My eyes were closed. I felt so good. “I’m yours,” I whispered to him.

“Yes,” He said. “All mine. And I’m all yours.”

“Mmmmmmm,” I moaned softly. “As it should be.”


	53. Une Surprise À Paris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise awaits Elio in Paris!  
> Enjoy my lovelies! <3

“Ok, you for your passport and your tickets?” Oliver asked me.

“Yes and yes,” I replied with a small smile.

It was the Wednesday after my last three concerts in LA and I was leaving for Paris. Oliver would be joining me the following week on Thursday and it seemed so far away.

“Ok and you made sure you have that red suit and the velvet jacket and the two grey and black coattails,” Oliver said methodically ticking items off his mental check list. This is how Oliver handled stress. He made a mental list of what needed to be done and he methodically went through it and did it. It’s how he kept control and how he kept himself sane. I found it adorable.

“Yes and yes and double yes,” I said. He nodded and looked at me. I smiled and walked to him and wrapped him in my arms. I felt him sigh and relax into me. “This is going to be the longest eight days of my life. I’ll be 9 hrs ahead. I’ll be waiting for your phone call every night baby,” I said softly. I loved him so much.

“I will call you the second I get home every day, my love,” he said do me as he held me. He kissed the top of my head. We stood like this for a moment.

“Did you pack what I asked you to?” I asked pulling back and looking up at his face. I saw a slight blush was over his face but he gave me a dazzling smile. 

“Of course,” he said softly.

“Good,” I said as I pressed my lips to his. Oliver and I normally slept undressed, but for the last week and a half I had him sleeping with the same shirt and boxers. I told him I planned to wear them the days I would be in Paris by myself. “They’ll smell like you and I’ll feel closer to you,” I had told him. “I’m going to miss you so much, baby,” I had told him. He had been absolutely wonderful and had obliged. Now they were in my suitcase.

I looked at my watch. Lindsay would be here in about 15 minutes. She was flying out with me. A driver in an SUV would take us and then the driver would bring Oliver back home. I was dressed in a white button up and black pants. Oliver had just come home from work so he had a blue plaid shirt, tie and khakis. I looked him up and down. “What?” He asked with a chuckle.

I grinned and looked at him. “Just love how you look in your professor outfits. I think I’ve told you already that you’re the kind of professor all those kinky fantasies come from,” I said. He groaned and laughed. I loved teasing him about this.

“Shut up,” he said and pulled me in for a kiss.

I chuckled and kissed him, licking his lips and sliding my tongue into his mouth. We pulled back. “Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad... I’m hot for teacher,” I sang softly. 

“My god you’re insufferable!” Oliver said as he tickled and spanked me, then pulled me in and kissed me again.

 

* * *

 

Oliver and I held hands in the back of the SUV as we were driven to LAX. Lindsay was in the passenger’s seat. She had classical music playing but she wasn’t talking. Lindsay had a strong, take the bull by the horns type of personality and I loved that, but what I loved the most was how she knew when to tone it down and let me be. She knew I felt sad about having to leave for Paris without Oliver.

We were grown men, yes and I was going to Paris for an amazing occasion yes, but there was still the fact that I would be without Oliver for eight nights. I felt as if I was already missing him. I sighed and rolled my head on the back of the car seat and looked his way.

“What is it?” He asked softly, lifting his hand and caressing my cheek. 

I shook my head. “Just being a baby and already missing you,” I said with a half smile.

Oliver chuckled and leaned into me. He kissed all around my face and then my lips. “I will be there soon, ok? The days will fly by you’ll be busy. I’ll call you daily. I’ll miss you just as much. I’ll think of you every single day,” he said saying softly. He ran his index finger along my jaw, the soft pad of his thumb rubbing across my bottom lip. I felt a shiver down my body. I looked up into his gorgeous blue eyes.

“I carry your heart with me,” I whispered. “I carry it in my heart.” I leaned closer to him feeling his kisses all over my face.

I heard him sigh. “I am never without it, anywhere you go, I go my dear, and whatever is done by only me is your doing my darling,” his velvet voice washed over me. I sometimes had moments like this. It was as if I was suddenly 17 again and we were back to that summer. I was purely smitten and completely under his spell and I felt absolutely useless. I just nodded. I looked over his face. He leaned in and showered me with kisses again. “We’re here,” he said. It took me a second and I finally looked away and saw we were pulling into the airport.

 

* * *

 

The flight to Paris was about 12 hrs from LAX. I was able to fall sleep for a while on the plane. Lindsay and I were flying first class. She got us some wine. 

“You ok?” She asked. She gave me a small smile.

“Was I that much of a baby?” I asked chuckling. I thought back to saying bye to Oliver. I wanted to kiss him so badly and I knew he wished he could kiss me too but the terminal was full so we just hugged. I clenched my jaw and we nodded at each other. It was only eight days. I couldn’t believe how hard it had been.

Lindsay patted my hand. “You’re in love. It’s beautiful, Elio, and it’s even more beautiful that he loves you just as much back. You’re both lucky. It keeps the hope alive for me that true love exists!” She said laughing.

I grinned at her. “So... you haven’t talked much about what’ll happen once we get there.” I said.

“Nope. I haven’t. On purpose. Just relax today. This flight is long, we’ll get there, crash and hit the ground running once we’ve recuperated. Ok?”

“Ok, thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome. And your parents will be arriving Friday noon,” she said smiling.

“I can’t wait,” I said.

 

* * *

 

We landed in Paris at 11:45 am on Thursday. Lindsay had a car waiting for us. The drive to our hotel didn’t seem to take long. We arrived and Lindsay took care of the check in. She walked into the large hotel room with me. It was beautiful. The entrance opened into a seating area which a beautiful piano to the right. On the left was an ornate archway that led to a large sleeping area and a four poster bed. The curtains in the bed were pulled back.

“Everything look ok?” She asked me.

I looked around and nodded. “Yes, thank you,” I said. 

“Ok. Get some rest. This is my room number,” she wrote something down in a small notepad and placed it beside my phone. “Call me when you’re up. Rest. We can do room service or go out to dinner. We’ll discuss the weekend then. But right now, just rest ok?”

“Ok, Lindsay. Thank you,” I said. She hugged me and left.

Oliver had told me to call him once I was in the hotel no matter the time. I walked to the phone and called home. Oliver answered after two rings.

“Hello?” He sounded sleepy.

“Hey baby, it’s me,” I said with a wide smile.

“Hey! How are you? How was your flight?”

“Flight was ok. I’m better now that I’m talking to you. But you need to go to sleep. You have to be at work.”

“Yeah, but I needed to know you had landed safely,” Oliver said.

I sat on the bed and smiled. “Thank you, baby,” I softly. “What are you wearing?” I asked with a chuckle.

He chuckled back. “Just my boxers,” he said.

“Mmmm, nice,” I said softly. “Baby, write down the hotel room number so you can call me later when you get home tonight.” 

“Ok, got it,” he said after I had given it to him.

“You need to get some sleep, ok? I love you, so, so much. Call me when you get home.”

“I will. Good night. I love you.”

“I love you. Good night.” I said. I hung up. I got up and started undressing. I walked to my suit case and looked for Oliver’s shirt and boxers. I stripped down and put them on and crawled into bed. I didn’t know how tired I felt until my head hit the pillow. I was sleep in no time.

 

* * *

 

I woke up at almost 7 pm and called Lindsay. She told me she had already taken care of dinner and would be in my room in 10 minutes. I said ok and slipped some pants on.

I went and opened the door when I heard a knock. “Ok!” She said walking in. A staff member from the hotel walked in behind her pushing a tray. We walked to the seating area and the food was set on the coffee table. I thanked him. “So tomorrow, your first concert is at 7 pm. Your parents will landing at 11:30. I’ve already arranged for them to be picked up. They’ll be here at noon -“

“Wait. What?” I looked at her. “What are you talking about, _I’m_ going to go pick up my parents.” 

“No, Elio. Entertainment Tonight is interviewing you at 1 pm here so you’re going to have wardrobe and makeup. We’ll be prepping. I’m sorry there won’t be time.” 

“Why didn’t you ask me first Lindsay? I haven’t seen my parents in a long while. This is a big deal for me!” I said angrily. I quickly realized this wasn’t very grown up of me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I opened my eyes and looked at her. “I’m sorry.” I said.

“No it’s ok. I’m sorry as well, I should have planned this better. Now I know and we won’t have this issue again. Ok? But right now I can’t change anything, if I could, believe me, I would. I’m sorry, we’re gonna have to deal.”

“Ok,” I said taking a deep breath in and out.

Lindsay took the lids off the trays of food. “So the interview itself won’t go past 25 minutes. Once it’s over, you’ll have a few hours to relax and spend time with your mom and dad. You’re expected at the concert hall at 5 pm. They had some tickets that came with back stage access. Opening night only and only four tickets because that’s Margaret’s limit. So you will meet those people along with Margaret and the conductor,” she said. I nodded. “They paid a lot of money so, be super charming.”

I nodded. “Aren’t I always?” I asked.

“You sure are!” She said with a chuckle. “So, we’ll do as we did in LA, one outfit for before and the one for your concert. I’ll be have it ready for you. We’ll leave here at 4:15 pm and obviously your parents will be coming with us. They’ll do the whole backstage thing like Oliver did in LA.”

“Sounds good,” I said getting some food on a plate. “Eat, Lindsay. Thank you for everything.” She nodded and grabbed the plate I was handing her. We relaxed and chatted.

“Nice thing with these concerts after Sunday night you’ll have all week to sight see. Oliver will be here Thursday noon. No concert that day so you’ll be able to pick him up.”

I nodded and smiled. “I can’t wait.”

 

* * *

 

I was just before 1 am when my hotel phone rang. I picked it up quickly. “Hello?”

“Hey,” Oliver’s voice came through. It was so wonderful to hear.

“Hey, yourself,” I said smiling. “How are you? How was work?”

“I’m alright. Work was ok. House feels a bit empty without you,” he said softly

“Yeah, I understand,” I said.

“Are you wearing my shirt and boxers?” He asked me in a low voice. 

“I am,” I said smiling and looking down at them. “The shirt smells so much like you. It’s so good,” I said lifting it and putting it to my nose and lips.

“Good, it can provide a little bit of comfort for you then,” he said softly.

We talked and whispered for a while more. I relaxed in my bed and focused on his sexy voice. We hung up after a while and many more I Love Yous. I turned my lamp off and again fell sleep in no time.

 

* * *

 

Friday morning I woke up and showered. I felt like a new man. Lindsay had ordered my breakfast and it came to me soon after I had gotten our of the shower. I told her I wanted to be alone until I had to start getting ready for the interview. I ate and played on the piano in the room. Playing made me feel focused and centered.

A while later, Lindsay gave me a call to let me know the crew would be arriving in 10 minutes. I got out of my bathrobe and put on some jeans and a tee shirt and soon enough I had a group of people swarming the hotel room. I shook everyone’s hand, introduced myself and asked for their names. 

It was decided I’d leave the jeans but the tee shirt was swapped for a white button up and a blazer. I was in the middle of hair and makeup when my parents came in. I was about to get up but my mother told me no and she came and kissed me as did my dad. They were wonderful and greeted everyone as well.

Like Lindsay said, the interview was barely 25 minutes and since my parents were there they were asked somethings off camera. The whole conversation was light and polite and I wasn’t asked any questions about my personal life. It was mostly about my training in Rome, my time so far with the LA Orchestra and my thoughts on Margaret.

Soon enough the room cleared out and I thanked every person personally as they left.

“Elio! You did wonderful!” Lindsay hugged me tightly. “You two must be so proud!” Lindsay said to my parents. 

“Oh we are!” My mom said. She walked towards me and I hugged and kissed her. 

“I must apologize. I should have planned it better. It’s my fault Elio wasn’t at the airport to pick you up with the driver. That was _completely_ my fault. Elio values his family and he would never put anything else above you,” Lindsay said. I felt she had thought about this and I appreciated her saying all that.

“Thank you Lindsay’s. It’s ok, thank you,” I said. “It’s water under the bridge now.” 

“Oh, chérie, c’est la vie!” My mother told her and patted her on the back. After some small chit chat she left as well.

I hugged my parents again. We sat and talked. I explained how Oliver would arrive next week. At 3 pm they retired to their room so we could be ready to leave at 4:15 pm. I put on a black button up with black pants and a red blazer. Once the time rolled around, we climbed into a sleek mini van along with Lindsay and were driven down to the concert hall. I had a garment bag with a white button up and my black coattails and a black bow tie. We were taken to the back entrance. Once inside Lindsay grabbed my garment bag and my parents and I were led to a large seating room. Margaret and her husband were there, and the conductor arrived soon after. I introduced my parents to everyone.

A moment later, my parents and Margaret’s husband were led by the hall’s staff to their seats as Margaret and the conductor and I awaited the concert goers with the back stage pass. Lindsay walked over to me and handed me a water bottle.

“You’re being a total pro and I thank you for that. The concert goers are here and they may ask you to sign an album.” She said. I nodded. “I’m so happy you’re fluent in French and we didn’t need a translator,” she said grinning at me. 

“I’m more than just a pretty face,” I said winking.

The conductor heard my comment and let our a wonderful laugh. “Indeed you are my dear boy,” he said. 

I glanced as the hall staff opened the door to the room and seemed to usher some people in. I looked back at Lindsay. “I’m sure they’re here to get Margaret’s autograph and not mine,” I said chuckling. Lindsay playfully pushed my shoulder. She straighten my blazer a bit, dusted off my shoulder and nodded. I nodded back and smiled. I looked back at the people that were walking into the room and walking towards us. I froze for a second. They started greeting us. One made his way straight to me. 

“Bon soir, Elio, looking wonderful as ever,” he said in his soft voice.

“Édouard,” I said calmly, I was shocked but the performer side of me kicked in and I put my right hand out for a hand shake, pleasant smile on my face. I looked into his brown eyes. “Long time no see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gasp! A ghost from the past reappears!!! Hope you all enjoyed!!  
> HUGS <3 <3 <3


	54. Édouard

“I have to greet the other guests,” I said to Édouard. 

“Oui, of course,” he said politely and stepping aside.

I stepped around and greeted the other guests. Lindsay was suddenly beside me. “What’s going on?”

“Hmm, nothing,” I said. 

“Don’t bullshit me or I’ll quit on you right now.” She whispered softly.

I looked into Lindsay’s face. I knew she was serious. “The first guy that spoke to me is an ex boyfriend of mine,” I said.

“Is he crazy? A stalker? Could he be armed?” I looked at her surprised. “I’m being serious, Elio. How in love was he with you? Could he be dangerous? I’d rather call the police than -“

“Elio! Come along,” Margaret called.

“It’s fine. He’s fine. Thank you,” I said to Lindsay.

I walked over and started engaging everyone in conversation. I glanced at Édouard every once in a while but he seemed pleased in talking to the others as well. After a moment he made his way back to me.

“Could we have dinner?” He asked me.

I took a deep breath in and out. I felt conflicted. I knew I had not quite been fair or open when we were together. He may just need closure and I was now mature enough to have an adult conversation with him about all that had happened. “With one condition,” I said.

“Quoi?” He asked tilting his head.

“That we both understand that the dinner is not a romantic anything. It would just be to talk and catch up and -“

“And answer some much needed questions,” he said with a smile.

“Bien,” I said nodding. I smiled politely at him.

“I know you are very busy,” Édouard said. “Tu est très important. Here this is my number,” he handed me a business card. A quick glance told me he was an accountant. “I know your concerts are this weekend. I will be home Monday and Tuesday. S’il vous plaît. I’d like to talk to you on either day. Déjeuner ou dîner.”

“D’accord,” I said nodding.

“Merci,” He said softly. I glanced his way. He hadn’t changed a bit. He caught my glance and gave me a smile. I patted his shoulder and smiled back.

 

* * *

 

The first three concerts in Paris were all a success. We had sold out each show. The reviews that came in on the newspapers on Sunday were all extremely positive. I had a lot of fun. Sunday, after the concert, I bid Lindsay good night and walked to my room. I undressed and quickly changed into Oliver’s shirt and boxers. I called home.

“Hello?” Came Oliver’s voice.

“Hi, baby,” I said, big smile on my face.

“Hi,” he said. I could hear the smile in his voice. “How was it tonight?”

“It was good, as good as the last two nights. We were sold out. The energy was great. I can’t wait for the next three because I know it means you’ll be here,” I said.

“I can’t wait to be there, Elio. I miss you so much. It’s like part of me is missing.”

“Tell me about it,” I said softly as I leaned back on the bed. “I feel the same way.”

“And it’s only been 5 nights,” Oliver said sighing. “I guess if you decide to tour the world me and kids are coming with you!” He said chuckling. 

“Heck yes. I would need you all,” I said. I sighed. I had decided I would be completely open with Oliver about Édouard. “So, I bumped into an old friend and he wants to have lunch or dinner,” I said.

Silence. “Oh?”

“Well, not just an old friend. My ex. Édouard.”

“French boy? You were in love with him.” Oliver’s voice had a hint of iciness to it 

“I thought I was. I’ve only ever loved you Oliver. We both know that,” I said softly. 

“Why... how...”

I nodded. “He showed up at my first concert. He actually bought a ticket with a backstage pass. He told me he was available Monday or Tuesday and he would like to have lunch or dinner.”

“And you agreed?” Oliver asked. He didn’t sound happy. 

“I said if we did it would be with one condition, that he understood it wasn’t anything romantic.” Silence. “Oliver, I think... I think he needs closure. He was my first real relationship after you had left and I thought I was in love. I maybe was in a certain way. Then... I realized he wasn’t you and left him. I left him because I was still in love with you. This is no one you should feel jealous or threatened about,” I said. 

“Right. I’m not,” he said. He didn’t sound like he meant it. 

“Oliver this is someone who I dumped over the MEMORY of you. Now I’m WITH you. I may have been unfair though towards the end and he just may want closure,” I let out a sigh.

 “I get it. I understand.” He said softly.

“Baby,” I said closing my eyes. “You must know there is no one else in this world for me but you. You must know this by now.”

“I do.” He said. The way he said it made me smile.

“Fuck, I wish you were here. I want to fuck you so badly right now,” I said. I clenched my fist and looked down at my boxers. Me speaking the words made me go semi hard. 

“I really wish you could fuck me as well,” Oliver said over the phone, letting out a long breath. I was rock hard now.

“How would you want me to fuck you baby?” I asked him as I slid my hand in my boxers and wrapped it around my erection.

“Anyway you wanted to daddy,” he said. I felt my erection twitch at his words and his sexy voice.

“Fuck, you drive me so crazy,” I told him. “I want you to stroke yourself,” I said panting into the phone.

“I am,” he said with a groan.

“Don’t come until I tell you to,” I said as I stroked the whole length of my erection, wetness dripping down. “Fuck,” I breathed out.

“But I’m so close already. I need you so badly,” Oliver said. 

His voice. I could not control myself. “Fuck, you want to come for me baby?” I asked.

“Yes,” He said groaning.

“Come for me baby,” I said. I hear him panting and groaning. I was so hard myself, I knew I was close but I want to climax with him. I close my eyes and paid attention to the noises he’s making. The moans and groans. I can tell his close as well.

“Oliver,” he whispers over the phone.

“Elio, Elio, Elio,” I say in between pants and moans.

“I’m.. I’m...” his loud orgasmic groan is all I need to hear to send me over the edge and I climax as well. I groan loudly and go limp. I almost drop the phone.

“I love you,” I whisper to him.

“I love you too. So much.”

I nod. “Thank you, fuck I needed this.”

“Just wait till I’m there. Just wait,” he says as he pants. 

I chuckled. “Looking forward to it baby,” I whisper to him. “So much.”

 

* * *

 

Monday morning I had brunch with my parents. Lindsay told me she was sightseeing and I told her to enjoy herself. 

“Édouard came to the concert Friday night,” I tell my parents. They both sort of freeze for a second but then continue as normal. My parents are probably the most understanding human beings I know. 

“Oh! He was so lovely. How is he? I’m surprised you got a chance to talk to him,” My mother said.

“He bought a ticket with a backstage pass,” I said. “He paid a lot of money to see me and ask to me had dinner with him,” I say softly as I sip on my coffee. 

“And will you?” My father asked. 

“Yes,” I said. “I spoke to Oliver about it. I let him know he and I were involved. I think he needs answers. I don’t mind speaking to him. He was actually nothing but kind with me,” I said. My parents nodded. 

“Just, be careful, mon cher,” my mother said. “You know you are past it all, he may not be. So, just go with your gut,” she said as she gently grabbed my chin and squeezed it lovingly. I nodded and smiled at her.

“I’m also very glad of the fact that you told Oliver about it, Elio. Enough cannot be said about open communication,” My father says. 

“Thank you, papa,” I replied.

“When were you planning to go see him?” My father asked.

“Well, he mentioned dinner. I was...” I looked at both of them. “I was actually thinking maybe he and I could talk and then maybe you two could join him and I for dinner. I would feel better having you there and plus, I want to spend time with you both more than anything. I know you both got along with him, and he always had wonderful things to say about you. So if it’s ok with you, I’ll tell him we can talk and then we all do dinner. Yeah?”

“Oui, mon cher,” my mother said.

“Yes, whatever you want, son,” My father says nodding at me. 

I nodded and smiled at my parents. I’m so glad the’re here.

 

After lunch I went back to my room and got the card Édouard gave to me. I read it over. He is an accountant and he seems to have his own firm. Good for him. There is only a business number on the card but when I flip the card around I see he has written his home phone number. I take a deep breath and dial it. 

I count the rings. One. Two. Three. I could leave a message. Four.

“Allô,” he answers.

“Édouard, c’est moi, Elio.”

“Elio. Hello.”

“Hi. Listen. Why don’t we meet for drinks. Say, 4 pm. I can make dinner reservations for 7. My parents are in Paris. We can have all dine together.”

“Oui, d’accord.” He and I work out the details and hang up. I nod my head. I look at my watch. It’s barely noon. Oliver was going to see Ben and Michael today. So he isn’t home. I get up and walk over to the piano and sit down. I begin to play and loose myself in the music.

 

* * *

 

At 5 minutes to 4, I make my way down to the bar in the hotel. I take a deep breath in as I step out of the elevator. I catch a glimpse of myself as I pass a large framed mirror. I have a black tee shirt and jeans with my red blazer and my red high top converse. I make my way to the bar and see he’s already at a small lounging area. He has his drink in hand and he’s reading the newspaper. 

I walked towards him. He sees me, puts his newspaper down and stands up. “Elio, hello,” he says.

“Hey, how are you?” I ask. He opens his arms and I step in and give him a hug. It’s casual, he doesn’t pull me in too close. We pull apart. He looks practically the same. He’s my height and slender like me. His hair a lighter shade of brown, his eyes big and expressive and brown as well. I remember how pretty I thought they were when I first met him. I still think that. He has a navy blue and white crew neck knit top and white pants. 

“Good, thank you. Thank you for... meeting me,” he says smiling. 

“Sure,” I said shrugging. We both sit down on the leather loveseat.

He nodded. “You were amazing Friday night,” he said. “Took my breath away. All they said about you on the newspaper is true. Have you read it?”

“No,” I said “I usually let Oliver handle that and then he’ll read it to me,” I say.

“Oliver? That’s a nice name,” he says.

I nod. “It belongs to an amazing person,” I tell him.

“Do you love him?” He asks taking a sip of his drink. Before I could answer someone from the hotel staff comes over and asks me if I’d like something drink. I order a scotch and it comes in no time. 

“I do. I do love him. So much. So, so much,” I said. 

“Good for you. How did you meet?” He asks.

“The summer of ‘83,” I answer. I watch Édouard’s face. “He came from America to spend the summer. I fell madly and completely in love.” 

“Et lui?” _And him?_  Édouard asks.

“Il est tombé amoureux aussi.” _He fell in love too._ I reply.

“I see. He was the one. I never had a chance,” he said.

“Édouard, listen, I’m so-“ 

“No. Don’t be sorry. He left no?” He took a gulp of his drink. “He left and left you broken. I saw it. I remember how you cried. How you wrote. Has he seen that? Have you told him?” I see his hand is shaking. 

I take a moment to think. This isn’t about me. This should be about him. I’ve healed. He needs to. I reach for his hand and grab it. He’s too shocked to move away. “Je suis désolé. Tu étais si bon avec moi.”

He pulls his hand away. “Being good to you didn’t do much for me,” he said. “Or mean much to you, as then YOU left.”

“It was the best thing I could do for you,” I said softly.

He nodded. “Oui. Bygones,” he says. I pick up my scotch and take a sip. “Are you happy?” He asks. Barely louder than a whisper.

“Extremely so,” I answer as I take another sip of my drink. 

“Well. Ok. As long as you’re happy. That’s all that matters. If you’re happy than I’m happy for you. À votre santé!” He raises his glass with a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.


	55. Trying To Mend Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know the common phrase is mending fences when one is making peace, but ‘mending wall’ is used in a Robert Frost poem so I went with that.  
> This is the conclusion to Elio’s and Édouard’s conversation. Enjoy! <3

“À votre santé,” I repeat. We stay silent a while. I’m struggling to know what to say. I want Édouard to feel better but on the other hand I don’t want this situation to get out of hand. I can try to help but I can’t do it all for him. 

“You are regretting coming here,” he says softly. I start to shake my head and deny this. “Elio, your face always gives you away. You are not one to lie, your heart is too pure and your face cannot mask the truth either. You’re troubled by my state and you’re regretting being here with me now.” He lets out a sigh. “Je suis désolé. I am embarrassed. I didn’t... want to act this way either.”

I relax and nod. But I still struggle with what exactly to say. He notices this too. He knows me, we did live together for a while. I know him too. He’s no stranger. It feels... strange being with someone who I had been this close to that isn’t Oliver. The love I feel has no comparison, but, apart from Oliver, and Isabela of course, Édouard knows me better than anyone.

“I want to express myself in an honest way and I’m finding it difficult,” I say to him.

“Pourquoi?”

I shake my head. “It would make sense to say: I wish things had turned out differently, and I mean that but I don’t,” I say softly.

“You do because you wished I wasn’t hurt but you don’t because if they had not you wouldn’t be so happy now,” he says simply.  

“Oui,” I reply without much emotion. 

He takes a deep breath in. “I understand, Elio.” He sighs and we look at each other. He smiles at me. I can’t help but smile back. “We did have some good times, no?”

I chuckle. “We did,” I say. Memories flood me. Our small apartment. His paintings. How I would play for him. I still remember his favorite songs I’d play. I look down at my drink. I catch a glimpse of my gold bracelet. Oliver. I smile. Oliver. Anything Édouard related slips my mind and all I see is Oliver’s golden hair and blue eyes. I feel my smile widen. I look up at Édouard and he looks surprised to see my smile, it seems. He smiles back at me and leans towards me.

“I’ve never let anyone had me the way you did,” he says. My smile falters. He misread my emotions. Fuck. “The way I let you dominate me in bed. I -“

“Stop. No.” I say. I’m not loud but I know I’ve spoken with authority. I furrow my brow. “What are you doing?” I ask. I’m suddenly angry. 

“I’m sorry, I -“

“You’re not. If you were you wouldn’t have brought that up. It’s inappropriate.” My voice is laced with anger.

“Inappropriate?” He asks, sounding hurt.

“Yes! It is!” I say. “I’m with someone else! Why would you bring that up?”

He looks shocked at my tone. While we were together we practically never argued. I never spoke to him with anger. There had been no need to. He says nothing and slumps his shoulders. “I’m sorry,” he says again.

I take a sip of my drink and let out a sigh. “Why don’t you tell me what your intentions are, Édouard. Just be honest,” I say.

He sits still. “I’m not sure myself,” he says softly. “I imagined many scenarios,” he says. He’s being sincere. I can tell.

“Like?” I ask. I need to let him get it all out. He gives me an apprehensive look. “I won’t get mad. I promise,” I say.

He nods. “Like.. well. In one scenario you beg me for forgiveness. In another we end up in bed, just for one night, before you go. In another you tell me to give you time so you can come back to me,” his voice breaks. He looks at me and I can tell he’s embarrassed.I give him a reassuring smile. He seems to relax. “Then of course there is me throwing my drink at you after you tell me you still love me. In that scenario I tell you about my current boyfriend,” he says.

“Oh! You’re seeing someone?” I ask. This makes me happy.

“I am. And I’m sure he would be hurt if he knew I was here with you.”

“Why?” I ask.

“Well, he doesn’t know about you or my feelings... but this... who would like this? Who would want their partner acting like I’m acting now?” He says softly. 

I suddenly remember seeing Oliver while he was still married. How we made love. “Life isn’t black and white. There is a lot gray in between. Mistakes are always made. Just...” he looks up and meets my gaze. “Just make sure you’re ok with who you look at when you look in the mirror each morning.” I tell him.

“Spoken like someone who likes who they see in the mirror each morning,” he says. He takes a deep breath in and out. “I do most of the time,” he says.

“Well that’s good,” I say.

“Elio, I didn’t come for you to act as my therapist,” he says.

“Ok then why are we here?” I ask.

“I was madly in love with you. I still am. Some days,” he says. “I felt I did nothing wrong. I felt I was good to you. I gave you all of me and even more. Yet you still left. Why?” 

He stared into my eyes. “Because for as much as you loved me and as much as I loved you, I still loved Oliver more.” I said, telling him the truth. His chin trembled. I swallowed. “The moment I realized that, I let you go,” I said.

He nodded. “If he had never been around, if you had never met, do you think you would have been happy with me?” He asked.

“I can’t answer that,” I said.

“Why?” He asks. 

“Because a world where Oliver and I never meet is not something I could imagine since the day I met him,” I reply. “I’d rather be heartbroken and alone then never had met him at all.”

“Oh mon Dieu!” Édouard says. “What an unlucky fool I was. Meeting you. My perfection come to life.” He stares at me. “You are everything I wished for, Elio.” I open my mouth and he says, “Stop! Let me get this out!” Now he sounds angry. I nod. “You.. equally beautiful inside and out. Your musical talent and sharp mind and humble and kind soul. Your pure heart. Your body. Your face. Your eyes. I...” He shook his head. He sat up and squared his shoulders. “I would have NEVER left you. I would have never willingly have gone. All that. All that, Elio.. and you were never mine! I was completely yours but you were never mine, all mine, were you?” He asks softly. 

I look at his soft brown eyes and know I can’t lie. “Not completely. No.”

He takes a deep breath in and finishes his drink. “Well, I can stop with the fantasies now,” he says. I see him take out his wallet.

“No, no. I got it,” I say. 

He nods and we look at one another. He gives me a genuine smile. I smile back. “You haven’t changed much and yet you’re so different,” he says.

I nod. “Life will do that. I can say the same for you.”

“I’m just older. Not much wiser. You... you’re almost someone new. There is a confidence maybe? I don’t know. But you’re still Elio.” He pats my hand in a warm and friendly way.

“That’s me. Just Elio,” I say with a shrug. He chuckles. “Deep down that’s never gonna change,” I said.

 

* * *

 

Édouard joined my parents and I for dinner. It was pleasant enough. They were wonderful of course and made anyone feel pleasant. He brought up his new boyfriend and said “He’s no Elio,” when describing him. I actually ignored the comment. My mother reached over and patted his hand. My father sensed my discomfort and smiled my way.

My mother then brought up Oliver. She mentioned Ben and Michael and said I had children on the way. I saw Édouard blush when she said this. He mumbled a congratulations and didn’t speak much for a while.

I just tried to be decent and calm and patient. I just thought after today, he would see enough to hopefully move on. I kept wondering, what if this had been me with Oliver? What if he had been madly in love with his wife and when I saw him he had told me what I told Édouard and that he was the happiest he had ever been. It would have been an extremely hard pill to swallow.

Édouard had left his car at the hotel so we were all driven back by the driver Lindsay had arranged for me to have while in Paris. He hugged my parents good bye and when it came to me I decided to give him a hug. I patted him on the back and told him to take care.

“Elio, you have my number. Maybe we can get together once more before you leave, Paris, s’il vous plait.”

“Oui, d’accord,” I said without thinking about it. Oliver would be here soon and if Édouard wanted to join us for dinner, I guess he could. I waved at him as he left. My parents and I went inside the hotel and climbed into the elevator.

“Was it that awkward during your drinks?” My father asks softly.

“Yes,” I said. I closed my eyes. 

“What is it, mon cher?” My mother asked. The elevator dinged and slid open. My parents were on the same floor as me. We walked inside my room. I walked in and hugged my mother a while. I pressed my eyes closed tight. I finally let my guard down. My breath was shaky.

When we finally pulled back my mother’s face was concerned. “Qu’est que c’est? Ça va?”

I nodded quickly. “I just wished I had been more mature when he and I broke up,” I said. “I wasn’t fair to him. He never wronged me. His only mistake was not being Oliver,” I said shrugging. “I just... don’t feel like a good person right now.”

“Ah son,” my father said. He put his arm around me and led me to the couch and sat me down. My mother was on my other side. She took my hands. “Life... it will happen. The only journey you can be on is yours. I know he cares for you and for a while son, you cared for him. I won’t lie, your mother and I were happy you two were together. For that moment you were happy and his love was so abundant,” My father said smiling.

I nodded and wrinkled one side of my nose. That comment made me feel even worse. I almost felt as if I could cry. “C’est bon, mon cher,” my mother said soothingly caressing my hair. I leaned into her.

“Son, this is his journey. He has to figure things out. Life gave you two a moment, but Oliver is the one for you as you are for him. Hopefully Édouard will find his true love soon.”

I nodded. My parents sat with me a while. It was almost midnight when they finally left. I got up and put on Oliver’s shirt. I knew he was spending the day with afternoon with Ben and Michael and he was to call me when he got home. It almost ached not having him with me tonight. It was almost one when my phone rang.

“Hello?” I said quickly.

“Hey!” Came his deep, lovely voice. I closed my eyes. They filled with tears. I breathed hard. I felt them spill on my cheeks. “Elio? Elio! What’s wrong? Elio. Are you ok?”

I had to smile. “Me ok,” I said. “I’m just missing you.” I wiped my tears and laughed at how stupid I felt. “I’m sorry. Don’t worry. I’m ok, baby. I’m ok.”

“Ok. My love, I miss you too. I’ll be flying out in less than 48 hours, Elio. Ok? At this time in two days I will be on my way to you.”

I took a deep breath in and out. “Yes,” I whispered. “Then the whole universe will be right.”

 


	56. Magic

I felt so antsy, unable to sit still. Finally we were at the airport and I quickly walked to the terminal Oliver was landing at. I was extremely happy that Lindsay walked as briskly as I did. She squeezed my arm as we waited, me with my hands stuffed in my pants, full of anticipation. I kept pacing. Lindsay would give me understanding looks and smiles. I was glad she was with me. I told my parents not to worry that I would be back in no time and to enjoy themselves when they called my hotel room earlier today. 

Finally, FINALLY, people started coming out of the gate. My heart leapt. I went and looked. Oliver had a first class ticket and after a handful of people coming out I caught sight of his blond hair and blue eyes. My heart. I walked forward briskly. I hugged him tightly and I felt him lift me off the ground.

“I’m so happy,” I told him. He put me down on the ground and gave me a gorgeous smile. “I’m so happy. I’m so happy you’re here,” I said. We hugged one more time. It felt good having him in my arms. We went and picked up his luggage and loaded it in the SUV. Once we were inside we hurriedly kissed and held one another. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you!” I said panting after we finally pulled apart.

“Yes, I do, because I’ve missed you just as much,” he said running his hand up the back of my head and wrapping it in my hair. It felt so good to have him near me. With me. We kissed more as we drove to the hotel. It was like we were a couple of high school boys finally able to get our hands on one another. It seemed like we reached the hotel in no time. Oliver and I carried his luggage.

Lindsay and Oliver engaged in some polite chit chat in the ride up the elevator. She gave him a warm hug and we walked into our hotel room, dropped off his luggage and then I walked him to my parent’s room. I know they were dying to see him.

My mother opened the door quickly afternI hand knocked on it. She hugged him warmly as did my father. “So good to see you Oliver,” My father said. We walked in and sat in their seating area. Oliver and them caught up since the last time they had see each other and he showed them updated pictures of Ben and Michael. All the meanwhile I was bouncing my knee and tapping my fingers and running my hand through my hair.

“Soon, we’re going to have two more babies,” Oliver said warmly. I grinned at him. He looked so fucking handsome.

“So we’re meeting for dinner?” My mother asked.

“Yes, reservations at 7, we should leave no later than 6:15,” I said.

“It’s a long flight, Oliver. I’m sure you’re tired,” my mom said, glancing over at me and giving me a knowing smile. She had seen all my various ticks and she knew me so well. 

We hugged them and walked out and got back into our room. I shut the door and jumped on him. He laughed and held me tight. I felt like it was midnight all over again. The anticipation of finally having him in my arms and kissing his lips. “You tired baby?” I asked him, panting as I reached for his pants and started undoing them before gettinf an actual answer to my question. It was just a polite question after all.

“I don’t know. All I’m feeling right now is how much I need you and want you,” Oliver said breathing hard and taking my face in his hands.

He kissed me deeply. I felt the moan from the back of my throat escape my lips and into his mouth. I grabbed his shirt as I pulled him through the room and towards the bed. We finally reached the bed. I wanted to tell him I needed him too, badly, but the words never came. Instead there needy kisses and licks and gentle bites. My mouth was busy exploring Oliver’s gorgeous lips and neck.

I pulled his shirt over his head. I slipped mine off. He pulled me to him and kissed me again, our bodies coming together. He felt wonderful against my skin. I felt his hands running up my back and holding me tightly against him. Soon after our pants and boxers were off and we were on the bed. I laid on top of him, my whole body feeling alive with love and desire. I gently thrusted my hips on him, our erections rubbing against each other and our bodies.

After a long while I sat up, straddling him. I ran my hands down his chest. He looked up at me, eyes pretty and sparkling, his mouth red from all the kissing. He looked beautiful.

“In case I have not said it before or said it enough,” I said softly. “In case I have not expressed it enough or expressed it at all,” I continued. I took a deep breath in, “Oliver,” I looked into his eyes, “Oliver,” I enjoyed the feel of his name coming out of my lips. “You make my life worth living.” He stared up at me. “I know I have many, many things to be grateful for and I am. I am humbled and grateful for the good fortune I’ve had in my life, but being with you, laying every night beside you...” I trailed off as I caressed his face. “It ties it all together and makes it all worth it.”

I sat up and smiled down at him. He opened his mouth. I grinned at the look on his face. He was still processing all I said. I leaned down and kissed his neck, small gently fluttery kisses from one side of the neck to the other. I heard music in my head. I breathed on Oliver’s chest and showered his skin with kisses. I got up and went to my travel bad to get the lube. I looked at Oliver as I walked back to bed.

I placed my hands on his knees, pushing up gently. He spread his legs for me. I rubbed the lube on me, my erection was hot, throbbing and wet. I had been wanting and needing him so badly. I took my right hand and placed it under his knee, I pushed my erection down with my left hand. I looked up at his eyes and held his gaze as I entered him slowly. I groaned in deep satisfaction. The world was right again.

I leaned in and started making love to him. I took my time and enjoyed him. It was normally so hard for me, I usually was so turned on I could hardly contain myself, which was wonderful, of course, but today, after not having him with me for a week, I was flooded by nothing else but love, love, love. He was so warm and tight and perfect. I closed my eyes. It was so intense, deep and intense.

I lost myself in him and his body. I felt as if my whole being melted into him and we, together, became one. We were one, I was deep inside of him. We were breathing the same air, his heart, pounding in his chest at the same time as mine. Or at least it felt like it. We were in sync, our breaths, our hearts, our souls, one. I felt it.

“All of you... wonderful... beautiful... perfect,” I said breathing out. “I love you.” 

“I love you,” Oliver replied.

I lost concept of time. I made love to him for as long as I physically could. We climaxed together, as one. It was magic. Magic.

 

* * *

 

 

I blinked awake. Oliver’s beautiful face came into focus. I took a deep breath in and out. I rolled on my back and reached for my watch, my thumb rubbing the engraving instinctively. Cor Cordium. Heart of hearts. It was 3:57 pm. I glanced back at Oliver. I closed my eyes, music flooding my brain. Chopin. I hummed it softly as I heard it. I then remembered a song that used this, It wasn’t a song I had thought of in a while. In fact it wasn’t a song I would think of playing for myself. I remember my mother playing it and singing along to it gently. I liked it too, it was beautiful, but the lyrics spoke to me suddenly. The piano was beautiful too. I had never played it.

I suddenly got up and pulled my boxers on. I walked over to the piano and sat on the bench. I started playing Chopin’s Chord Prelude. I played it a few times. I stopped. Leaned on the piano and hummed it. I thought of the Barry Manilow song that used it.

“Play that again, will you,” came Oliver’s voice from the bed I looked back. He was sitting up, still undressed. I played the Chord Prelude again. “It sounds so familiar,” he said. I nodded. “What’s it called?”

“It’s Chopin’s prelude opus 28, number 20 in C minor, commonly known as the chord prelude,” I said. I looked on as he put his boxers on and walked to me. I started playing it again, he sat down beside me. I watched his face as I played. “But you probably know it from this,” I said. I kept playing and made a slight variation on the E, keeping it natural at the end. Once the prelude was over I continued with the Barry Manilow song. Oliver looked surprised for a moment and then chuckled and nodded his head. We both just started singing, it wasn’t a hard song to sing. 

“Spirit, move me, every time I'm near you, whirling like a cyclone in my mind. Heaven sent you, angel of my lifetime, answers to all answers I can find. Baby I want you come, come, come into my arms. Let me feel the wonder of all of you. Could it be magic now, now, now and hold on fast. Could this be the magic at last?”

I grinned at Oliver and kept playing. I meant every word I was singing. “Baby take me high upon a hillside, high up where the stallion meets the sun. I could love you, build my world around you. Never leave you 'til my life is done. Baby I want you come, come, come into my arms, let me feel the wonder of all of you. Could it be magic now, now, now and hold on fast. Could this be the magic at last?” 

I played the ending as Oliver looked at me, sweet smile on his face. “My mother loves that song,” I said softly. I looked at him.

“So did mine,” he said chuckling.

“It’s more beautiful now,” I said softly. I reached up to caress his face. “It means so much more.”

He nodded. He leaned into me and kissed me. “This magic is going to last,” he whispered as he leaned his forehead on mine. “I’m never letting you go.”

“As if I’d go anywhere,” I replied. “I’d never leave you til my life is done.”

I kissed him more deeply. Our hands were all over each other again. Oliver somehow managed to pull me onto him on the piano bench and soon I was straddling him. He stood up, as he wrapped me around his waist, carrying me back to the bed.

“Fuck I love how you do this,” I said as he threw me on the bed.

He took his boxers off, he was fully erect. He took mine off as well. “What?” He asked as he reached for the lube. “Carry you? Throw you in the bed?” He put lube in himself and lost no time in entering me. I hissed at the sting. It was perfect. “Or fuck you?” He asked.

“All of the above,” I answered moaning. I relaxed my body and let him dominate me. Oliver was perfection. His body, his hands, his lips and tongue all worked together in perfect harmony, bringing me immense pleasure. I was lost in bliss, moaning and groaning, gasping and panting as he pleased me in every way I wanted and needed and he fulfilled all my desires. We climaxed together for a second time. We held each other tightly.

“Mmmmmmm,” Oliver said as he nuzzled my neck. “You’re amazing,” he said softly. 

“As are you baby,” I whispered softly. “As are you.”


	57. Meetings

_Elio_

Dinner with my parents was pleasant and wonderful. Oliver talked about Ben and Michael and I swear my mother almost cried when Oliver asked her if she would be ok with them to call her grandmother. I blinked a couple of times and looked away, wiping my eye discreetly. My father caught sight of it though and smiled warmly at me.

“You two are so lucky to have each other,” he said when dinner was coming to an end. 

“We know,” Oliver said glancing my way. I smiled at him.

I felt drained and we were back in the hotel room around 11 pm. I fell sleep in Oliver’s arms in no time.

The concerts for Friday and Saturday felt great. I felt I was in my zone and I felt invincible. Having Oliver with me before my concerts made a huge difference.

 

_Oliver_

The night of the last concert, Lindsay gave us a rundown of all that was going to happen.

“There are some celebrities coming, so they’ll walk the red carpet as well. Elio you’ll walk it alone. There will be one reporter at the end, there will be people yelling and calling your name but you can ignore them, you’re only obligated to talk to the one at the end.” Elio nodded. “Inside we’ll do like the first night in LA, a couple of reporters, some photographs so have 2 outfits. And of course everything will be in French but that’s ok because you speak it! I just hate I don’t and I hate having to depend on translator.” She said shrugging. I chuckled.

Elio and I were left to get ready. We still had about an hour before we had to shower so we laid in bed. He laid on top of me while I massaged his back. “This feels so good,” he whispered. I smiled and kept running my hands along his beautiful skin. Moments like this were priceless to me. I sighed with happiness.

Finally we got up and showered. For his first outfit, Elio had black pants and a white button up shirt with a tan leather jacket. Perfect combination of classic and edgy. That was him. He had his bow tie and coattails in a garment bag. I dressed in a white button up and black high waisted pants as well with a knee length red velvet jacket. We went to the Perlman’s hotel room. The professor was in a tuxedo and Annella had a beautiful flesh colored chiffon dress and sophisticated up do.

When we were all ready we went to the lobby and got into the large black mini van and drove to the concert hall. Elio and I looked at each other. I gave him a quick kiss,the windows were tinted and there were no photographers here. The door opened and he got whisked away. We waved at one another. I helped Annella get out, holding her hand. Lindsay got out and spoke to someone that worked at the Hall.

“Ok, follow him, and Oliver he’ll show you were to leave the garment bag.” I nodded and took Elio’s bag, he led me to a changing room. It had Elio’s name on the door. I dropped off hisgarment bag. The hall employee took me back to where Annella and the Professor were. They were chatting with Margaret’s husband.

The doors opened and photographers came in. I watched Margaret’s manager. He was talking to the photographers in fluent French. He went to Lindsay and I saw them talking more and I’m sure they were discussing how many pictures would be taken. Finally, Elio and Margaret and the conductor came in and were photographed. Then a couple of reporters came and talked to them. I watched as Elio laughed and spoke in fluent French. Annella was smiling proudly. I looked at her and she patted my arm as she watched Elio being photographed and interviewed.

“It feels like a dream,” Annella said to me.

I nodded. “It felt surreal in LA too. I don’t know if he told you but he got asked for his autograph when we went to the museum in LA.”

“No! He didn’t tell me. But you know, he doesn’t brag. He’s a humble boy,” she said lovingly.

I warmed my heart to hear Annella talk about Elio that way. I could imagine what she meant. Regardless of how big Michael and Ben got all I remembered were the babies they were. Finally the interviews were done and photos were taken. When it was all over Elio and I walked into his dressing room and I helped him get changed. I felt such pride. “You look so handsome, Elio,” I said. 

He gave me a sweet smile. “Not as handsome as you, baby.” I leaned down and kissed him.

“Last night,” I said.

“It’ll be the best one yet,” Elio said with a sweet smile.

Again, someone with headphones and a clipboard came to call for him. “M. Perlman, nous sommes prêts pour vous.”

“Oui. Merci,” Elio said in his soft voice. He turned to me. “Show time,” he said with a smile.

I felt a rush of nerves. I leaned in and kissed him hard as he held my face in his hands. Of course he was calm and poised. He gave me a gorgeous smile. “I’ll be cheering the hardest,” I said. He nodded and walked out.

I walked out of the dressing room and soon after the Perlmans and I were taken to our seats and Elio and Margaret worked their magic. It was amazing. The crowd was very receptive. It was wonderful. At the end, I clapped until I couldn’t feel my hands no more.

 

* * *

 

After the concert we were invited to a party at Margaret’s Paris home. It was opulent and fun. Margaret and Elio played and there were a couple of violinist and the Perlmans danced. Elio and I danced as well as did Margaret and her husband. Annella, Lindsay, Margaret’s manager and I danced with the conductor and it was just a lot of fun.

There was a lot of champagne and caviar and the time flew by. I wasn’t sure what time we left or what time we got to the hotel but I think I saw the sun rising as we got undressed and fell over on the bed. Elio and I held each other and kissed until we passed out.

It was an amazing and peaceful sleep. We woke up at around 3:30 pm. We stretched and held each other and went to shower and dress. Elio called his parents but here was no answer. He called Lindsay and she told him they were out sightseeing. She told Elio if he needed the driver to let him know. We chatted and decided to go out to eat. We made it downstairs at about 5 pm and were driven to a beautiful restaurant. We were given a very private table and had a waiter standing off to the side just for us. 

Once dinner was done Elio said he felt like going out to dance. I said yes we could. We went back to the hotel and gathered Lindsay and we all went to club she had heard of. She called the manager from her cell phone and we were let in through the back door which I had to admit was really fun. We didn’t have to wait in line or anything. She reminded Elio it was time to get a cell phone.

We went inside. The music was great and we each got a drink. Most couples dancing were men and women but there were some men dancing together as well as some women and no one was truly paying attention to them. After a couple of drinks, Elio and I went out to dance and Lindsay was dancing with a guy that had asked her to. We danced for almost an hour. I was getting hot and sweaty and the later it got the more crowded the place got.

Finally I was too hot and decided I needed water. We went to the bar and I asked for a water when I heard a voice to my left. “Elio!” Elio and I turned. I saw a younger man, looked to be about Elio’s age. He actually reminded me of Elio a bit. They were the same height and their body shape similar. His hair looked lighter. It was hard to tell in the lights of the club. Elio didn’t look too happy to see him.

Interesting. I turned to him. “Hi. Who are you?” He suddenly looked my way and his eyes widened a bit.

He stuck his hand out. “I’m Édouard I’m an old friend of Elio’s,” he said with a small smile.

Édouard. French boy. I recognized the name. In all my life I had never met a love interesting of Elio’s. I knew he and Marzia had had a little moment that summer we met, but he was 17 and I knew he had stopped seeing her the moment we got together. But this French boy was someone he had told me he had loved. He had loved him as an adult. They had lived together. If he and I had broken up for good there may have been a chance he could have spent maybe even his whole life with this French boy.

It was irrational and slightly insane but I felt a huge surge of envy and anger. He had slept with Elio. He had been intimate like we were. No one should have ever had that with Elio but me. He was mine. “I’m sorry who? I don’t know who you are. He’s never mentioned you,” I said with an icy tone. He just nodded and looked at Elio. I had had too many drinks and I was too hot to care about what I said to this boy. 

Elio came and got between us. I put my arm around his waist. “Hello, Édouard,” he said calmly. “This is the love of my life, Oliver,” he said. I felt good he said that.

I dark haired man came with a couple of other people and they were laughing. One grabbed Édouard and gave him a kiss on the lips. He waved at Elio and I and spoke in fast French. I had no idea what he said. Elio answered them, talked a few seconds and then waved again, grabbed my hand and moved me down the bar. He got me water. “Sit down baby,” he told me as he opened the bottle of water for me. I drank it all at once when he handed it to me. Elio was focused solely on me and I stared feeling a little foolish. “More?” He asked. I nodded and he got me about bottle. I drank it quickly as well. The whole time Elio looked only at me.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“For?” He asked.

“Being a douche,” I said.

“Yeah well you’re my douche. And I love everything about you,” He said to me.

I looked up at him and smiled. I truly didn’t deserve him. “I’m ready to go,” I said. Lindsay came over and got water herself and we left soon after. Elio pulled me to him and I rested my head on his shoulder when we were in the car.

“I hope you had fun. I had fun,” he said. “I have fun whenever I’m anywhere with you.” 

I smiled and kissed his neck. “I did. Thank you. I’m sorry,” I said again.

 “You’re the most important person in my life. I love you,” He said. I closed my eyes. He always knew what to say.

“I love the way you say things,” I said to him softly.


	58. Looking Ahead

“Next time we go to Paris let’s make it for fun not for business,” I said to Elio. He smiled and nodded. He and I were seated beside each other in our first class seats. Annella and Lindsay on the seats across the aisle. It had been hard saying bye to the Professor in Paris. He was catching a flight to Italy that same day. He was to come later on in mid July so could be with us when the twins got here. 

I looked at Elio and smile. “What?” He asked.

“Nothing, I’m just happy to be going back home,” I said softly.

“As am I. I didn’t think Paris was going to be the emotional roller coaster that it was.” He said. I nodded.

 

The day after seeing Édouard at the club Elio gave me a more detailed description of their meeting and the dinner he had had with him and his parents.

“I don’t even know why you met up with him,” I said slightly angry when he had finished telling me.

“For the same reason you went to therapy with Karen,” he had said gently.

“Because I was married and had children with her. You and him didn’t have all that!” I had said angrily. He had stayed quiet the moment I had said that and I had felt bad for saying it. The truth was the thought of him having anyone that meant anything just made me jealous. It wasn’t a nice feeling to have. 

“No, I know. Listen, it’s over. I think it serves no purpose now for us to keep going on and on about it. It’s all over now,” Elio had said softly. I had just nodded.

I looked at him now, he was reading. “I’m sorry about the comments I made about Édouard,” I said.

Elio looked at me, brow furrowed. “I thought we said we said we were done talking about that.”

“We did but I’ve slept on it and I realized I was being a bit juvenile. You were just trying to explain to me why you felt you had to talk to him and I just wasn’t listening. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to ever feel what you feel isn’t important and I wouldn’t understand. The last thing I want is for you to feel a situation is over and done with simply because I’m just not understanding you,” I said to him. I squeezed his hand.

“Thank you,” He said softly. 

“No thank you,” I said. “For being patient. Sometimes it takes a while for me to understand but I always promise I will try my best. Better than this time.”

“It wasn’t an easy situation. I knew you were tying to get it. I knew baby,” he said softly.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“And I love you,” Elio answered back.

 

* * *

 

 

The flight from Paris to LA was long. It felt good to make it with Elio this time than to deal with it by myself. We were able to chat and laugh and take a few naps here and there but it was a huge relief to finally land at LAX.

Once all of our luggage was gathered we made our way to the SUV waiting for us and we all climbed inside. Lindsay was in the passenger seat. She was making phone calls and talking to Elio about some people that had reached out wanting to set up meetings with him. She said Margaret’s manager had called and had wanted to thank Elio for being a joy to work with and being so professional. She told Elio she would arrange flowers to be sent to Margaret and the conductor and said she knew Margaret loved roses and the conductor orchids.

If was a little dizzying for me but Elio was nodding and taking it all in stride and answering all her questions. Annella and I glanced at one another and smiled. She reached over and patted my knee. Finally we were home and I felt drained.

We hugged Lindsay and I thanked her for everything and she hugged us and told us to take care. I started taking the luggage in, Annella coming in after me. Elio and Lindsay were still in the drive way talking.

“Are you hungry or thirsty?” I asked her.

“Oh no, no, mon cherie,” she said sweetly. “I’m just so tired. You must be too!”

“I am,” I sighed. “I’ll take your bags to your room,” I said. In the week that Elio had been in Paris, we had had a bedroom set delivered and put in the bedroom Valerie had had while with us. Elio had picked it out a few weeks before. Annella and I walked into her room and she breathed a sigh of relief as she kicked off her shoes and got on the bed. I smiled at her. “If you need anything let me know,” I said as I walked over and squeezed her hand.

“You’re so kind, Tesoro, but I’m ok and I think I will sleep for the next two days,” she said laughing. She sat up and gave me a kiss on the cheek and I walked out and closed her door. I walked back to the front door. Elio and Lindsay were still outside. I walked out towards them. Elio’s back was to me.

“I just want to have more time with my family. I don’t want to do five concerts a week any more,” Elio was saying. I stopped and hung back a bit.

“And I understand that, but right now you’re an established concert pianist not an established recording artist and right now with the huge success you’ve had with your concerts it makes no sense for you to stop doing concerts. Do you know how much money I can get you right now? I’ve been going back and forth with the LA orchestra and I’m on the verge of increasing your salary by 250% Elio. They’re willing to pay you two and half more times of what you made last year!”

“Yeah well I make enough!” Elio said. “If they pay me what they pay me know but I only do two concerts a week and one on the weekends I’ll be happy! I’m about to have twins Lindsay!”

“Yes! I know! And you also talked private school Elio. Not only for them but Ben and Michael. And what if they want to study at UCLA? Or another Ivy League? Huh? And you’re about to go shop for homes!”

I looked at them as Elio ran his hands through his hair and looked up at the sky. “My children will only be small once,” he said.

“Yes I know but you also have a job ok. And right now it makes no sense to cut back on the concerts. Establish your self more and we can demand more. You still have to put out another CD by next year February as part of your contract with David. Go all out. If that sells enough then you can start branding yourself as a recording artist. But that’ll mean tours. World tours. And with small children that’s hard. So don’t be so quick to dismiss being here in LA with a constant job at the orchestra. Is all. Ok?”

“Ok,” Elio said. 

“Ok. I’m just here to keep it all in perspective and I gonna tell you like I see it. It’s what you pay me for,” she said.

“I know. Ok. Thank you,” Elio said giving her a hug. They whispered something else and Elio nodded and then she turned and got in the SUV. Elio turned and looked surprised when he saw me. “Hey,” he said walking towards me.

“Hey,” I said smiling at him. We made our way inside.

“How much of that did you hear?” He asked as he shut the door behind him.

“From where Lindsay was saying not to stop doing concerts just yet,” I said. 

Elio sighed and shook his head. “There’s about to be two newborns in this house. Valerie can’t stop going to school. Even if my mother stays till the end of the year, they’ll only be six months by the time she leaves. I just worry about juggling it all,” he said sounded frustrated.

“Hey,” I said. I walked over to him and held him tight. “Hey, it’ll be ok. We will be more than ok,” I said.

“I’m not hiring a nanny,” Elio said and I chuckled.

“Listen,” I said, rubbing his back. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Right now, you should be enjoying how well the concerts went. You should be enjoying the fact that your wonderful mother is here for months. You should also be enjoying the fact that Lindsay is about to make sure you get all the money you’re worth,” I said grinning.

He pulled back and looked at me but he wasn’t smiling. He had a serious look on his face. “If I make enough money would you take some time off teaching to stay at home with the twins?” He asked me.

I blinked, surprised. “What?” I asked.

“Karen stayed home while Ben and Michael were little for a reason. I already make enough. If Lindsay gets the orchestra to pay me two and a half more times of what I’m making now and I give in to the demands they’ll have which is five concerts a week, would you be willing to take a few years off teaching until the twins are old enough to start school?” Elio asked, looking straight into my eyes. He was serious about this.

“I... I don’t know Elio,” I said softly.

He nodded. “Is it something you would consider though?” He asked me. “I just want to know. If it’s a no, that’s ok too. I just... am trying to figure things out,” he said as he walked past me to kitchen. 

I followed behind him. My heart was racing. Give up teaching? I thought of Karen and I when we moved to California and I had had a huge salary increase. Michael was one. I didn’t even ask her if she was ok with taking time off teaching. It was just understood she would since I made enough money and we had a small child. “I uh,” I said. I was in shock. I looked at him. He had taken a bottle of water out of the fridge and was drinking it. “I don’t know what to say,” I said. 

“Just whatever you feel baby. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to put you on the spot,” he said coming to me and wrapping his arms around me. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no I get it,” I said to him. “It’s true, when it was Karen and I it was a no brainer,” I said.

Elio nodded. “I would never ask you to give up your career. It was just a thought. And if the answer is no I respect that and understand that. I just didn’t worry so much because somehow in my head I thought I had all this flexibility that now I feel I don’t,” he sighed. “No wonder Valerie freaked out and the first thing she said was she couldn’t give up school,” he said shaking his head.

I rubbed his back. “Well, right now all I can say is we’re jet lagged and you’vebeen bombarded with a lot and we won’t be able to solve it all right now,” I said. He looked at me and smiled. I pulled him to me. He wrapped his arms around me. “So how about we just relax for today and then when we’re rested and our minds are more clear, we can start discussing and planning out what we need to do to make our family work,” I said.

“Yes,” he breathed out. I felt him kiss my neck. “Yes, you’re right baby. Thank you.”

I kissed his beautiful lips. “We’re together. We can do anything,” I said.

I finally saw his face relax and a beautiful smile spread across it. “You’re so right,” he said. “But right now I seriously feel like I could sleep for the next two days!” He said chuckling.

“Ha! That’s what your mother just said!”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She’s settled in her room. Come on. I’m beat too.”

We made our way down to our bedroom, holding hands. Once in our room we got down to our boxers and got in bed. He laid on me, with his cheek on my chest. “This feels perfect, Oliver.”

I sighed happily. “Because it is,” I said. 


	59. Resumption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio and Oliver resume their ‘nirmal’ lives...  
> Enjoy!  
> <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Cloths of Heaven
> 
> Had I the heaven's embroidered cloths,  
> Enwrought with golden and silver light,  
> The blue and the dim and the dark cloths  
> Of night and light and the half-light;  
> I would spread the cloths under your feet:  
> But I, being poor, have only my dreams;  
> I have spread my dreams under your feet;  
> Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
> 
> W. B. Yeats

Oliver had gone to work the Friday after we returned. I had watched him dress and then he came and kissed me before he had left. I thought about what I had said to him the day we had returned. I had felt selfish the moment I had said it but it had come from a place of honesty. 

I shook my head. He hadn’t brought it up again and I hadn’t either. I got up and walked to the kitchen. The phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey it’s me!”

“Hey Lindsay,” I said.

“Well, the reviews for the concerts in Paris are in and you made an impression. An amazing one. I’ve had some people contact me and I think there maybe a couple of things you should really consider,” she said.

“Ok, like?”

“Well, I known it’s the beginning of May but David’s people want to release a holiday album. Just you this time. You should do it.”

I chuckled. “That’s fine I like holiday music,” I said.

“Ok, uh, now sit down,” Lindsay said. I sat on one of my stools by the counter.

“Sitting,” I said.

“So I got you a raise. 300% Elio. You’ll be making three times as much. Someone showed interest in you the day after we landed and I was went ahead and asked for all they offered and the orchestra agreed.”

“Wow,” I said. I was in shock. 

“Yes. So congratulations because you deserve every penny.”

“Thank you Lindsay,” I said.

“Ok, now. The best news,” I heard Lindsay take a deep breath. “You’ve been asked to perform at the Tony Awards.”

I froze. “Say what?”

“You’ve been asked to perform. To play piano for one of the performances...”

I knew Lindsay kept talking but I sorta zoned out. I’m sure I said uh huh and yes quite a few times. “That’s incredible,” I said when she took a pause.

“It is incredible. They reached out to me and that’s just amazing. I’ll come by tomorrow and drop off all the details. They want a couple of rehearsals before it happens, so that shouldn’t be too hard to organize. Congratulations Elio! This is what you wanted. It’s happening. Enjoy it!”

I nodded and smiled and thank her and hung up. My mother entered the kitchen and I went and hugged her and spun her around and shared the good news. I could wait to tell Oliver when he came home.

 

My mother, Oliver and I had an amazing dinner. When I told him, he picked me up and spun me around. Once he had put me down he started cooking. My mother cooked along with him and they talked a lot. I went and played the piano a bit but was missing them so I made my way back to the kitchen. Once dinner was over I cleaned up as they had done the cooking. My mother called my father and then we had all sat around the living room a moment. I was so content. I was leaning on Oliver and chatting with my mother. It was wonderful.

 

I leaned back on my headboard and watched Oliver undress.

“What are you smiling about over there?” Oliver asked. 

“At the fact that I watched you get dressed this morning and now I’m watching you undress. I like it,” I said softly. I grinned at him and he shook his head and laughed. “Don’t put anything on,” I said as I held my hand out. He walked over to the bed completely undressed. “Come here,” I said as I pulled him onto me. He laid on me and we kissed.

It was a soft, long kiss, full of love. He kissed along my jaw and down my neck. I closed my eyes as I focused on how good his lips felt. “I love you,” Oliver whispered.

“I love you too baby,” I whispered back. He pulled back and looked down on me. “You’re so amazing,” I whispered softly.

Oliver shook his head and opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it again.

“What?” I asked him, giving him a reassuring smile.

Oliver caressed my cheek with thumb. “I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams,” he whispered. We looked into each other’s eyes. “You are and will always be everything I have ever dreamt of,” he said softly. 

He kissed me again and moved to my neck. I felt his soft bites and gentle licks. ”You’re my dream come true as well, Oliver.”

Oliver took a deep breath in and out and looked down at me. “Elio, light of my life,” he said as he looked at me with a beautiful smile. “Before you and I start making serious plans about how we will go about taking care of our twins you have to have a talk with Valerie to see what she expects. I’m sure she’ll want her children with her some time too, my love.”

I looked at up him. Of course he was right. “Yes, baby. I do have to do that. You’re right.” I said reaching up and caressing his face.

“I’m so proud of you, Elio. The tony awards. That’s amazing,” he said with a gorgeous smile which of course made me smile as well. 

“Thank you. I’m excited,” I said chuckling. “It’s also great since my mom is here and she can come. It’ll be great.”

He nodded and leaned down and kissed me. I felt his hands go to the waistband of my pants and felt him push my pants and boxers down. “Off, off, off,” he said breathlessly.

A soft moan escaped my lips as his large hands came back and caressed up my thighs to my hips. I felt Oliver’s lips on my neck and across my collarbone. It sent shivers down my spine and I felt goosebumps on my skin. “I love your lips,” I said.

“My lips love you,” He replied as he kissed across my chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck and ran my hand up into his hair, grabbing and tugging at it gently. He looked up at me. “What is it?” He asked. 

I shook my head. “Nothing, just still sometimes feel I need to pinch myself when I realize I get to sleep beside you every night.”

This makes him laugh softly. “Yeah, right. Mr. Elio Perlman,” He said between kisses across my chest. “World class pianist,” he whispered as he worked his way up my neck. “Not to mention sexiest man on the planet.”

I grin at this. “No, no that title definitely goes to you,” I said.

“No,” he said propping himself up on his right elbow and caressing my chest with his left palm. “No, my love. You’re breathtaking and so smart and so talented,” he said softly. He caressed my jaw and gently ran his index finger over my bottom lip. It reminded me of the day we first kissed. I looked up at him and saw he had hint of a smile as he caressed my bottom lip again. I opened my mouth slightly and when he passed his finger a third time over my bottom lip, I reached out with my tongue and licked it. He slid his finger inside my mouth and I circled it with my tongue. I heard his breath catch as he slid his finger deeper into my mouth. I sucked it gently. I could feel his erection now, by my thigh. 

I got up and climbed on top of him, pinning his wrist down on either side of him. I loved this. I loved dominating him. “Do you know what the sexiest thing about you is?” I asked looking straight into his eyes.

“What?” He asked in a breathless whisper.

I leaned down closer to him. “How much you love to please me,” I said. I watched as he parted his lips and started breathing harder. I’m sure his pulse had quickened. I felt a rush from deep within me knowing that just my words made him have such a strong physical reaction. “Don’t you baby?” I asked him.

“Yes, daddy,” he responded.

My cock was rock hard and I pressed my hips down and rubbed it against him. He moaned as he felt it. I felt him push his hips up, his erection rubbing mine. I loved how he moaned as he did this. I stayed still, my hands still on his wrist. “Come for me,” I told him. 

He opened his eyes and looked right into mine. He was going to reach down, I’m sure to stroke himself as I had just asked him to come for me, but I tightened my grip on his wrist, holding them down even tighter. I saw his brow furrow. He pushed his hips up again, our cocks rubbing together in a delicious way. I smiled down at him as he moaned.

He pushed his hips up and I thrusted down on him. I watched his face as he closed his eyes and started thrusting up at a quicker pace. It felt amazing. His face was flushed and his lips parted as he worked his hips underneath me. His ragged breath came quicker and he rubbed himself faster on me. I leaned down and kissed him hard. I sucked his bottom lip and and bit his chin. I went down further and sucked his neck and he moaned as I felt his warm release spread between our bodies. I released his wrists and rubbed my erection on his abdomen, spreading his semen on his skin.

I got up and grabbed a towel and cleaned his abdomen. I took the lube from the bedside table and put it on me. I stood by the bed as I took hold of his legs and pulled him to the edge and entered him quickly. I grabbed hold of his muscular thighs as I started thrusting into him, hard. 

“I need you so much, baby,” I said panting. My thrusts were hungry and needy. I wanted deep inside. No matter how long we had been together and no matter how many times I had claimed his body, I still needed affirmation that this beautiful being was truly mine. I dug my fingertips into his skin as I thrusted harder. I watched as he squeezed his eyes shut, and leaned his head back. I watched as his hands balled up fistfuls of sheets and low guttural moans escaped his lips.  

I pressed his legs against my body and I felt the sweat forming between our skin. I slid my hands down and grabbed his ass cheeks and spread him further to let myself in deeper. I heard his gasp as I thrusted in as deep as possible. “Yes,” he said.

“Yes,” I replied to him and plowed into him further. I leaned in slightly pushing against his legs as I kept fucking him. I felt my body tensing as the delicious pressure of my oncoming orgasm grew inside of me. Dominating Oliver was the biggest turn on. I felt his muscular legs tense around me. “Touch yourself,” I instructed him.

I watched as he reached down and started stroking his weeping cock. The sight was beautiful and took my breath away. I kept thrusting in. He was stroking himself in rhythm to my thrusts. His brow glistening with a slight sheen of sweat. I tightened my grip on his thighs as I came deep inside of him. He groaned as he came as well.

I stood there panting and looking down at him. I grabbed the towel and cleaned us up and crawled back in bed with him. I wrapped my arms around him and he nuzzled my neck. I could feel his warm breath in my collar bone. “That was amazing,” he whispered.

“Because you’re amazing,” I said. I held him tighter. I kissed the side of his face. I closed my eyes and listened to our breathing. Soon enough I was feeling extremely calm and relaxed and soon enough my eyelids felt heavy. I pulled Oliver closer to me and soon after drifted off to sleep.


	60. Conversations

The weekend after our return from Paris, we decided to have a family get together. I called Valerie and asked her to come over and Oliver called Karen, she would bring the boys over since this they were spending this week with us. 

I decided to go over to Valerie’s to pick her up and use the time alone so that she and I could talk about the future. I realized I had been making all these plans and acting as if it was just Oliver and I when Valerie was the mother and I had to make sure she was on board with what Oliver and I had planned. I let Oliver know this before I left and he gave me a kiss and told me he knew it would all be alright.

 

I arrived at her place and knocked on the door. After a moment she opened up. “Hey! Come on in!” She said. I walked in. “It like takes me an extra 15 minutes getting ready as it’s getting harder to bend over.”

I looked at Val and smiled. “I’m sorry,” I said. “You look beautiful though,” I told her. She did.

She turned to me and grinned. “Thank you,” she said.

I walked over and gave her a hug. “Anything I can help with?” I asked.

“I’m good thanks,” she answer giggling. She looked up at me. “What’s up?” She asked.

I shook my head. “What do you mean?”

“You have a distracted look in your eye. You’re thinking or worrying about something. What’s up?”

I sighed. She would know. “I was thinking about when the twins came,” I said.

“Ok,” she said. We walked to her living room and sat down.

“So I had thought I would just cut back on my concerts,” I said leaning over and putting my elbows on my knees, clasping my hands.

Valerie furrowed her brow. “Really? You’re doing so well, would that be a wise idea?”

I chuckled. “Yeah Lindsay said the same thing,” I said looking up at Val. “She also got me a raise and well, I won’t be slowing down any time soon.”

“Ok,” she said.

“I asked Oliver if he would consider staying home since my raise covers what he makes a year and then some,” I said. 

I heard Valerie gasp. I looked up at her. “Elio! You can’t do that! You can’t ask someone that!” She looked alarmed.

“It was a question, Val, not a demand or request and if he says no then it would be no.”

“IF he says no? As in you’re waiting for him to decide?! No Elio! He,” she shook her head. “Ok, I know you guys are together but OUR children are our problem first! You get that, right? It’s one thing to have your mom over for a few moths. My mother offered to come for a month as well. You know she’s a lawyer too so she can’t take that long off, so a month is like amazing, but,” I looked up at her. “You shouldn’t have asked Oliver that.”

I pursed my lips together. “Well, I did Valerie. Now it’s out there in the universe and I can’t take it back. It came from a place of...of just me wanting to do the best for our children as I would want the best for his,” I said.

She nodded. “Well, just make sure you tell him he’s not expected to stay home and give up his career,” she said.

“I have though. But I will again. Ok sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” I said.

“It’s not me you should be apologizing to. And I mean it when I say regardless of Oliver or in the future whoever I am with, the twins are our problems first. Our responsibility first. No matter how lucky we are to have this support system, we should be the ones who sacrifice first,” she said.

I looked up at her and furrowed my brow. “You’re a full time student and I’m going to have 5 concerts a week. We’re going to need help Val, this is a fact.”

“I know,” she said quietly. “I just, I feel bad I don’t want Oliver to resent me or the babies or -“

“Oh! Val!” I said getting up and going to sit beside her. “Come on, you know Oliver. He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body, ok. He would never ever resent you or the twins and I said to him if it was no it was ok!” I put my arms around her. “It’ll be ok.”

I felt her nod. “I was just going to do all I could. I could have Fridays off so I can have them on the weekends,” she said.

“Ok,” I said softly. “Yes, whatever you want.”

“Ok,” she said smiling.

I let out a deep breath. “I want you happy. I want him happy. I want to be the best father,” I said.

“I am happy. I know Oliver is very happy too. You’ll be an amazing father. You already are. Don’t spread yourself thin and don’t ask him to either. We’ll do it together,” she said.

“Thanks Val,” I said.

She looked at me. “Now, if Oliver does decide that he wants to be at home more, I mean, I would be forever grateful for that. But I don’t want him to feel pressured. Ok? Promise me,” she said softly.

“Of course. I promise. I don’t want him to feel pressured either and I want him happy always,” I said. She nodded and looked happy. 

We chatted a few more minutes and then she finished getting dressed and we drove home. I couldn’t wait for her to see my mom again. We pulled into my driveway and I jogged around to help her out of the car. My mother came out and met Valerie.

She came and hugged and kissed Val and rubbed her stomach. It was heartwarming and sweet to see. My mother teared up and kept telling Valerie how beautiful she was. It made me quite emotional. It made Valerie emotional too.

“Oh don’t cry sweet girl!” My mom said as they hugged. “Well, happy tears are ok! But even that not too many!”

Valerie laughed and hugged my mom. “It’s so good to have you near!” Val said.

The started walking to the house, my mother with her arm around Valerie, as I followed behind them. They stepped inside and I heard Oliver come over and he hugged Val and asked her how she was. He led her to the living room and he asked if she needed anything to drink or eat. She said she was fine and thanked him and her and my mother started catching up. 

I walked into the kitchen after Oliver. I wrapped my arms around him from behind. “Hey,” he said rubbing my arms. He turned around and I leaned in him. “You alright?”

“Yes,” I said smiling. I kissed his chest. “Oliver you know I love you and respect you and look up to you and admire you and I thank the universe every day that you are mine,” I said. I looked up at him. “You know that right?”

“Yes, Elio, I do and I feel the exact same way about you,” he said softly.

“When I asked you if you would stay home with the twins, I didn’t -“

“Hey,” Oliver said, cupping my chin. “Listen, Elio. I understand why. I wanted you to talk to Valerie about it because before we decide anything I wanted her to know and be ok with what we want to do regarding her children,” he said to me.

I nodded. “I’m really lucky to have you both,” I said. “I always try to keep a level head and I’m seeing when it comes to the twins it’s not so easy for me to do that,” I said giving Oliver a bit of a smile. I leaned forward and rested my forehead on his chest.

“It’s ok,” Oliver said softly. He leaned forward and I felt him kiss my head. “You’re not alone in having to figure it all out. Valerie is great and I’m here to do anything and everything possible.”

I looked up and grinned at him. I jumped up and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. He laughed and stumbled back, leaning against the kitchen counter. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up and kissed me more. “I love you so fucking much, Oliver,” I said staring into his beautiful blue eyes.

“I love you too, Elio,” he said.

 

* * *

 

A while later Karen showed with the boys and I went and hugged them. I was so happy to see them.

“Look at you both! You’ve gotten so big since I’ve seen you!” I said as I hugged Michael and tickled Ben.

“I know! I grew inches!” Michael said.

“I know! You’re so much bigger than you were two weeks ago,” I said hugging Michael.

I stood up and my mother came and we introduced her to Ben and Michael and Karen. My mother again teared up when she met Oliver’s children. Oliver saw and hugged her and picked up Ben and Michael and she hugged and kissed both and hugged Karen. After a lot of chatter Michael had become very attached to my mother. Her, Karen and Valerie returned to the living room and Michael sat with my mother as and talked to her to great lengths about Superman.

“Elio! He reminds me of you. When you were a little boy and you loved something you just kept on talking and talking about it!” She said and of course this was received with great laughter from everyone.

“Ok! Let’s start grilling now!” I said as I walked to the kitchen to get everything Oliver had prepared.

Eventually everyone came out side and the boys were running around. I made sure Valerie always had something cold to drink and dinner was, of course, delicious. We were still outside and Michael told me he wanted to watch a movie. I was inside getting everything ready for him and Ben when Karen walked in to check on them. Once they were settled I thought this would be a good time to have another conversation I had been meaning to have.

“Hey, Karen,” I said.

“Hey, Elio,” she responded.

“Ha ha,” I laughed. “So, I wanted to run something by you.”

“Sure,” she said.

“Well, we’re going to be house hunting soon. I’m going need more space with the twins coming and of course Ben and Michael need to have their own space,” I said.

“Right,” she said smiling.

“So, you know I am very interested in the schools in the area and well, there is a private school around here that a lot of my colleagues have raved about. I’ve read up on it. It sounds great and its where I’m thinking I’ll put the twins once they’re old enough to start school.”

“Ah, well, that’s great. Looking ahead. I know it seems like it’ll be a long time, but really they babies are born and suddenly you blink and they’re going to school, so it’s good that you’re thinking about this ahead of time,” she said.

“Yeah. So,” I said taking a deep breath in and out. I squared my shoulders and slid my hands in my front pockets. “So, Karen, Ben and Michael, and I hope I’m not over stepping it, but to me Ben and Michael are loved as if they were my own. I want to same things for them as I want for the twins, to me neither of any of these four children deserve more. They’re all equal in my eyes and I thought, well, if the twins were going to go to a private school, maybe it would be nice for Ben and Michael to go to that school. They could all be together, as brothers and sister.”

Karen raised her eyebrows. “Oh, wow. I wasn’t expecting that,” she said putting her hand to her chest. “Which school is it?” She asked. I told her the name. “How much is tuition?” She asked and I let her know. “Elio,” she said. “There is no way I could afford even half of that.”

I looked into her eyes. “Oliver and I can. We can afford it,” I said. Karen looked at me surprised. “I just want them all to be equal,” I said quietly.

She nodded. “That’s a lot to take in,” she said.

“I know. I bet,” I said. “But just think about it, please. Just know it’s an option and if you’re ok with it we can all make this happen,” I said.

She nodded. “I’ll for sure think about it,” she said.

“Ok, good,” I replied. I looked at her tentatively and she gave me a smile and patted and my arm and I smiled back. It was out there now. In the universe and I couldn’t take it back. In time I’d see how everything would work out.


	61. Honest Advice

The night had progressed nicely and soon Ben and Michael were yawning. Oliver and I gave them a bath and my mother insisted she read to them tonight. I hugged Karen good bye and drove Valerie home. 

I walked her up the steps and walked inside for a moment. “Did you have fun?” I asked.

“I did,” she said. “Your mother is the best ever. She’s so wonderful in so many ways.”

“Agreed,” I said.

“So, my mom will come for a week when the twins come and then later on she said once your mother leaves she will come for a month.”

“That’s good. I’m glad,” I said. I pulled her in for hug. “How are you feeling?”

“Good,” she said. “A little tired but I only have a couple of weeks left in school and exams and then I can just relax and wait for the twins to come.”

“Right,” I said with a smile, pulling back.

“I know they’re due at the end of July but I’m imagining they’ll come a week or two earlier because I’ve been reading that that’s pretty common for multiples so,” she shrugged. 

“Ok,” I said nodding. “Did you and my mom figure out when to get together?”

“Yes! I told her after my exams we will be able to have more time and she’s gonna help me figure out what I need for the babies. She told me she would come and spend any time I wanted her with me and she told me she wanted to stay with me from second week of July on so I’m not alone at night.”

“She told me the same,” I said nodding. “I’m so glad she’s here,” I said.

“Oh god Elio me too! Believe me. Like, it’s just so reassuring to have her here.” Valerie squeezed my hands. “You and Oliver have helped me a lot, you should let others help you just as much. We could hire a nanny -“

“Val, I don’t want to,” I said. “I don’t want a stranger raising my kids.”

“Our kids,” she said.

“Sorry,” I said.

“It’s ok,” she said. “Just think about it. Ok?”

I nodded and gave her one last hug and left.

 

I was home in no time and by the time I walked in the lights were off in the kitchen and living room. I walked by the boys room and found them sleeping soundly. I then went to my mother’s room and softly knocked on her door. “Maman,” I called our softly.

“Come in Elio,” she said.

I looked in and she was sitting on her bed, with a book. I walked and sat at the edge of her bed.

“I feel like we haven’t talked,” I said giving her a half smile.

“I know mon cherie,” she said caressing my face. “How are you? Lots going on?”

“Oui,” I said sighing.

“Qu’est que c’est?” My mother asked softly.

I shrugged. “I had thought I would cut back on concerts when the twins came but the concerts are what’s making me money. So obviously I can’t. So I worried about who would stay home with the twins once you left and I asked Oliver if he would stay home with them.” I said.

She nodded. “Il m’a dit,” she said softly.

“Oh. Was he mad?” I asked, my heart beating a little faster.

“No, tesoro,” she said smiling. “He understands. He just doesn’t know what to decide.”

I took a deep breath in and out and nodded. I looked at my mom. “Do you think it was wrong of me to ask him?”

“He doesn’t feel it was,” she said smiling. 

“But what do you think?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think, Elio. When it comes to parenting and life choices the only opinions that need to matter are Oliver’s and Valerie’s.”

“But I respect your opinion,” I said. My mother leaned forward, hugged and kissed the side of my head. “I want to know if I was wrong.”

“Life is complicated, Elio, but as long as you and the people you love understand each other, that’s all that matters,” she pulled back and turned my face towards her. “Oliver loves you so much. He is not angry and he understands why you asked him to stay home. That is all that matters Elio. Ok? Now you just wait and see what he decides.”

“Ok,” I said. 

“Once those babies come you will see that everyone will be an expert and telling you what to do and how to parent. Everyone is suddenly an expert. Listen to your heart,” she said placing her hand on my chest. “And listen to Oliver and listen to Valerie. Those are the only people you need to listen to. One word of advice, but you know this, since it is you and Oliver in the relationship, just like you include Karen, include Valerie and if she disagrees with something pay attention. Don’t do anything unless she’s on board, and listen to her advice. She wants nothing but the best for everyone,” my mother said.

I nodded and smiled at my mom. I leaned forward and hugged her for a while. It felt good having her here. “Merci,” I whispered.

“Il n’y a pas de quoi,” she said gently. She kissed my head again and I exhaled. I smiled walked across her room. I lifted my hand in a small wave and walked out into the hallways, closing the door gently behind me.

 

I found Oliver in bed, lounge pants on and reading a book. He looked up and grinned at me as I walked in. “What a wonderful sight to walk into!” I said grinning back.

He sat up and chuckled. He put his book down and watched me as I undressed. I walked over to the bed, crawled to him and straddled him pulling him close to me and squeezing him tight. “Hmm you ok?” He asked me softly.

“I am now,” I said. I pulled back and looked at him. I leaned in and kissed him. Any stress and self doubt I was feeling washed away as I kissed Oliver. I felt his strong hands slide up my back. I grabbed his hair and pulled it back just enough so I could gently bite his neck. 

He moaned and started panting slightly. He opened his eyes and looked at me. “You look like an angel,” he said softly.

I leaned in and kissed roughly. I bit his lip and sucked on his tongue then pressed my lips on his again, hard. I rested my forehead on his and took a few breaths to calm my pounding heart. I needed to be completely in control right now. I had to be because I wanted him loose all of his self control. I looked down at his perfect body. I ran my hands down his chest, taking my time and letting my fingertips roam and caress anywhere I wanted. 

I glanced up at his face. He was smiling. “Do you like what you see?” He asked me.

“I love what I see,” I said. “It feels good knowing I own it,” I whispered looking back down at his body. “Knowing that it’s all mine and for my enjoyment only.”

He panted a little faster now. “Yes,” he said.

I leaned him back on the bed. I slipped my boxers off and took the waistband of his pants and slid them off him. I gazed down at his beautiful naked body. “Your body is a work of art,” I said. I spread his knees apart so I could kneel in between his legs. I caressed from his ankles up to his knees. I leaned down and kissed each knee. I leaned over his left leg and gently started biting up his thigh. Oliver’s body tensed slightly with every bite no matter how gentle they were. This made me smile.

I then moved to his right leg, the gentle bites made him moan. It was gorgeous, the sounds he made. I bit inside his right inner thigh. I licked his erection from base to tip. It was leaking onto his abdomen and I licked that up. I gently bit inside his left inner thigh, I wasn’t too gentle. He jumped slightly and gasped. I leaned down and placed my tongue over the under side of his erection. I licked from base to tip again. I love how it twitched up and I slid his head into my mouth. I sucked it hard and watched as his body writhed underneath me.

I continued with my gentle bites up his abdomen. They weren’t that gentle anymore but I made sure I wasn’t hurting him. I took his left nipple in my mouth and flicked it with my tongue as I bit gently around it. I was on my hands and knees on top of him. “Yes,” he whispered softly.

“Good, turn round and get on your hands and knees,” I tell him. I lean back and watch as he does what he is told. “You are so gorgeous like this,” I whisper to him. “You’re just waiting, just begging for me to claim you,” I say. I see the goosebumps on his skin as I run my fingertips up the back of his thighs. “Get down on your elbows,” I instruct him. He does as he’s told. “So good for daddy,” I say as I reach between his legs and stroke him. His moan is breathless and ragged as I stroke him a few times, wrapping my palm around his swollen tip and caressing it. His whole body shivers in response.

I lean back and grab hold of his ass cheeks and spread him open. I lean in and lick around his entrance. “Fuck!” Oliver cries out softly as my tongue barely slides in. I kiss to the side and bite his ass cheek. A bit hard. He jumps again and I smile. I go back in and kiss around his entrance and letting my tongue roam again. I slide in and out, gently kissing and sucking and then biting more forcefully and pushing my tongue in. I straighten and use three fingers in him, watching to make sure he isn’t touching himself. He’s not. He knows moments like this I’m completely in control and his body and orgasm belong to me. 

When I’m ready I get the lube and put it on my self. I reach around and stoke him a few times. He moans and whimpers. “Soon,” I tell him as I kiss his lower back. I slide in. Deep. His body was ready for me. I grab a hold of his hips and start thrusting in and out. I close my eyes and lean my head back and enjoy all the pleasure his body is giving me. I start praising him. I love doing this. “You’re so perfect, baby. So perfect. No one could feel as good as you. No one could please we as well as you please me,” I tell him.

I thrust in and out without holding anything back. Nothing matters right now except him and me and all that’s happening between our bodies. I grunt as I get closer to climax. “Touch yourself. Come.” I tell him. He see him reach down and I immediately feel his body tighten up around me.It’s a deliciously good feeling and I know I won’t last much longer. I feel him tighten even more as he orgasms. The sounds he makes are amazing and I feel them permeate my skin as I thrust in as deep as I can and climax. “Fuck! Yes!” I moan out push myself in him deeper. He collapses on the bed, me on top of him. “Fuck,” I say as I pant. My heart racing. It feels so good. Everything feels so good. 

After a long while I’m able to get out and grab a towel. I clean up and pull Oliver into my arms. I feel at peace. The tension the I’ve felt the last couple of days completely gone. I feel like me again. I feel Oliver’s lips on my collar bone, his nose lightly rubbing on my neck. “You’re the most amazing man in the universe,” he whispers.

“No, you are,” I whisper back.

“God no. No. It’s you,” he says. His warm breath in my chest. 

“Ok. Fine. But the most amazing man in the universe only feels himself after fucking you so imagine how amazing you must be,” I say back softly.

“Really? That’s how you feel?” He asked. I feel him run his palm across my chest.

“Yes,” I whisper. I take his hand and press him palm against my lips and give it a kiss. He slides his hand down the side of my face to the side of my neck, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into my skin. “I just want to be the best for you,” I say. I felt emotional and I knew he could hear it in my voice. “Oliver, I’m sorry if -“

“Shh,” he says. “Don’t apologize. We can always ask what we need of each other. That’s it. We’ll figure it out.”

“I want you happy,” I say. 

“I know and I always will be,” he said. I nod. “I promise I always will make sure I will be. We always will be happy. You and I. Together.”

“Together,” I repeat smiling.

“We were together, I forget the rest,” Oliver whispers, quoting Whitman. I can hear the smile in his voice. I laugh softly, take his hand again and kiss his palm. I rest it back on my face so he can caress my cheek.

“Indeed,” I whisper back to him.


	62. Options And Choices

I woke up Sunday morning, Elio in my arms. I held him close. He stirred a bit but didn’t wake. I had been holding him close for a while when I heard the pitter patter of little feet I sat up and was about to get up when I heard Annella’s voice. The boys were with her. It was great having her with us. It was great having her help. I laid back down and caressed Elio’s back. I sighed. 

I thought about the conversation I had had with Annella the night before. I told her about the request Elio had made. She had smiled at me and waited to hear my reaction.

“I get it,” I said to Annella. “I’m not angry or bothered that he asked. It was an honest question to a situation we’re in.”

“You love to teach,” Annella said.

“I do. A lot. It took me a long time to get where I am. I love my children. So does Elio. He tried to cut back and with the money he’s making now it would seem ridiculous for him to stop,” I said looking at her. 

“Elio would never want you to do something you don’t want to do,” Annella said.

“Oh, I know,” I replied. “He said himself if the answer is no then it’s a no and that would be it.” I took a deep breath in. “It’s my life. My heart. My happiness.” Annella hugged me.

“You have a good head on your shoulders,” she said. “You and Elio are a good team.”

“We are aren’t we?” I said softly. Annella grinned and nodded. “We are, I know. It’s amazing how good life is with him.”

“I’m happy you’re both happy. You deserve it,” Annella said.

“When I came back in ‘83, I was planning to leave here and go back to Italy. I wasn’t worried about how to make it work. All I wanted was Elio,” I said, looking into Annella’s eyes. “Then fear got the best of me and I stayed home.”

Annella leaned in and rubbed my back. “You did what you thought was best,” she said.

“I will never regret my marriage because it gave me my sons. I know Elio will never regret being with Valerie because of the twins,” I said, Annella nodded. I took a deep breath. “But I sometimes go back to that moment in my life where I was ready to give it all up to pursue my happiness. My ultimate happiness. That’s him. Being with him. Being in love with him...” I trailed off not know what else to say. 

“He feels the same way about you. You have been everything to him since you met,” Annella said.

I took a deep breath in and out. “I know,” I told her smiling. “Except that was then and this is now. This is me after having years of teaching under my belt. I worked hard to be where I am and so has he. I don’t see my career as more important than his and neither does he,” I said. “I’m not 24 anymore. And even at 24 I felt my responsibilities weighing me down. But teaching doesn’t weigh me down. I don’t know,” I said.

“You said it yourself Oliver, your life, your heart, your happiness. It’s up to you,” she whispered.

“I know,” I said and pulled her in for a hug.

 

* * *

 

Sunday morning had been a peaceful affair. Annella has made breakfast for the boys and when Elio and I finally got up they were in the living room with some toys and Michael was still talking Annella’s ear off and she again reminded Elio how much he was like that as a small child. I could help but laugh.

Elio and I went grocery shopping and Annella told us the few things she wanted.

“So this is the last week of lectures,” I told Elio. He nodded and looked at me as he walked beside me, hands in his pockets. His eyes got a little wide.

“Yeah,” He said. “Yeah I go back Tuesday and I have concerts until Saturday.”

I nodded. “Ok,” I said. “Well I was going to talk to the head of my department,” I said glancing at him.

“Oh?” He asked.

“I was going to talk to him about what my options are since we’re about to have two newborns in the house,” I said.

Elio gave me a gorgeous smile. “Ok,” he said nodding. 

“We’ll see what comes out of that conversation and we’ll take it from there,” I said.

“Yes, ok,” Elio said nodding. “If he says he can’t do anything though and you can’t change anything then -“

“Then I’ll deal with that as best as I see fit,” I said staring right into his eyes.

“Right. Of course you will. It’s all up to you Oliver,” he said softly.

“I know,” I said. “I know it always has been and anything I do, I’m doing because I want to and nothing else.”

“As it should be,” Elio said. He grinned at me again and we kept shopping.

 

I was standing in line checking everything over in the shopping cart, making sure we hadn’t forgotten anything. Elio had wondered off a bit and was looking at the magazines. “Oh! Elio Perlman!” I looked up. A middle aged woman with a teenage girl were standing with Elio.

“Yes. Hi,” I heard Elio say.

“Oh we went to your concert! You were wonderful!”

I started loading our things onto the belt of the register and I couldn’t hear anything else. A moment later Elio showed up beside me. Once we had paid, we loaded everything back in the shopping cart and were walking to our car I asked, “Did they want an autograph?” He nodded and glanced at me. “Are you ok with that?”

“Yeah,” he said with a smile. “It’s still weird, you know?”

“I know,” I said. “But it’s something that you will have to get used to,” I said.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m fine with it. I have you as my support so as long as I have you, I can do anything,” he said. I smiled at him.

We got in our car and drove home.

 

* * *

 

On Wednesday I had a short day and I decided it would be the best day to talk to Steve, the head of my department. I walked to his office and knocked on the door.

“Come on in!” I heard. I walked in and smiled at him. “Oliver!” He said removing his glasses and motioning to the chair in front of his desk. I went and sat. “How was Paris?” He asked. 

I chuckled. He was a fan of Elio’s and I hoped that worked to my advantage. “Paris was wonderful. Too fast. I wish Elio and I had had more time to enjoy it,” I said with a smile. 

“Indeed you should! It’s a beautiful city,” he said.

“That it is. But, it’ll be a while since Elio and I have some time for vacations I think,” I said. 

“Oh?” He asked. 

“Elio, well Elio and I are expecting twins,” I said. “They’ll be here in about two and a half months.”

“Oh! I had no idea! How wonderful! Congratulations!” He said.

“Thank you,” I answered with a huge smile on my face. My heart was pounding in my chest. “Elio at first was thinking about doing less concerts, but that turned out to be impossible,” I said.

“Yes, I can imagine the Orchestra doesn’t want their shining star to suddenly stop being front and center,” he said.

I nodded. “Well, now we’re at a bit of a crossroads,” I said. “He can’t take the time off he thought he could and he’s actually making more money now, so, I was wondering what my options would be since we’re about to have two newborns at home,” I asked. I intently watched his face as he nodded.

“Well, when we have a professor that needs leave we hire a replacement. They get six months, which is very generous compared to other universities,” he said.

“Ok,” I answered.

“If you wanted to take the six months off you are more than entitled to do so. After, when you’re back we could do the utmost to see how we can fulfill your required hours in the most friendly of ways to coincide with Elio’s concert schedule,” he said with a warm smile. “You are someone the school cherishes and wants to keep around,” he said. “But of course, filling the minimum required hours would be up to you.”

“Yes,” I said. Six months off at home. Ok. That wasn’t bad. “Thank you so much,” I said, preparing to leave.

“Oliver,” he said suddenly.

“Yes?” I asked.

“I have a friend who maybe you may want to meet. She’s working on a project that may interest you,” he said grabbing a paper from his desk and writing something down. He handed it to me and I saw it was a name and phone number.

“What kind of project?” I asked.

“I’ll let her explain,” he said. “Just give her a call when you can and let her know I sent you her way. That I think you may be interested in her latest project.”

I shook my head and couldn’t help but laugh a bit in surprise. “Ah, ok! Thank you!” I said.

“You’re welcome. Talk to Elio, I would want to know as soon as possible when you’re taking those months off.”

“Yes, of course. Thank you so much,” I said. We stood up and he came around and gave me a hug. “And I’ve not forgotten about the CD from the Paris concert. The moment they’re made I’m having Elio sign one and will bring it for you!” I said.

“Oh! Thank you! Looking forward to it,” he said.

 

I walked out of his office and through the building and out to the parking lot. I took a look at the piece of paper with the name and phone number. I figured I’d call his friend this weekend and wondered what it was all about.

I took off for home. Annella was here until the end of November and Valerie’s mother would come in December. If I wanted I could have business as usual during first semester of the coming school year and then I could take the second half of the year off. That literally was giving Elio and I until the twins were one to figure out what we would do permanently.

I would talk to Elio when I could. That was a huge weight off my shoulders and I’m sure Elio would feel the same way too. I took a deep breath in and out. Just like the cosmos had brought him back to me I knew there was a path to life we were meant to travel down. I didn’t see why we couldn’t figure out a way to have a happy family and both be successful in doing what we loved. We could and would do it. If any two people could, it was us.


	63. A Surprise Meeting

I got home just in time to see Elio off to his concert on Wednesday. It was wonderful having Annella at home and helping me with dinner and helping the boys to bed. 

“I can’t imagine what it’ll be like when the twins are here,” I said as I dressed Ben in his pajamas and she dressed Michael.

“It’ll be a handful,” she said. 

“Yes,” I agreed quietly. 

She told me she wanted to read to them and told me to go rest and I did. I was reading when Elio came home. The following days were like that and Saturday morning Karen came and got the boys. They hugged Annella and Michael told her that he would miss her so much. Annella was over the moon.

 

Elio had a concert Saturday night. Annella and I cooked lunch and Elio sat in the kitchen with us chatting. We ate and then headed to the living room to chat and listen to music. Finally it was time for him to get ready. I went with him to the bedroom and helped him put his suit on. I knew I hadn’t mentioned my conversation with the professor and he hadn’t asked. I had appreciated that greatly. 

“Tomorrow and Monday you and I will have time alone together,” Elio said softly. “My mother is going to Valerie’s and won’t be home till Tuesday. Your lectures are over so, we can spend the next two days entirely together. I actually don’t have a concert Tuesday either but I known you have to go to campus.”

“I do but I’ll be coming home at 2 pm or so,” I told him.

He nodded. “Looking forward to it baby,” he said.

“So am I,” I said. We leaned in and kissed. After a moment he was ready to go. I walked him to the front door and watched until he got in his car and took off.

Annella told me she was going to lounge outside and read and I decided to call the mystery woman with the project I might be interested in. I went to my work bag and for the phone number out. It said EM Vaughn, so I figured I could just ask for Miss Vaughn since I didn’t know her first name. I went to kitchen and got the phone and called. 

“Ellie Vaughn,” the voice answered. Well, there was one question answered.

“Ellie, hi,” I said. “You don’t know me but my name is Oliver and I teach philosophy at UCLA. Steve the head of my department -“

There was a gasp on the other end. “He told you about my project?”

“No, be did not, he told me he would let you tell me,” I said with a chuckle. “He sent me your way, I know nothing else.”

“Ok! Well, I don’t really want to talk about it over the phone but I can meet up with you!”

I froze. What was going on? “Ok,” I said.

“I can meet you at the Borders in Westwood Village in an hour,” she said.

“Ok,” I said.

“How will I recognize you?” She asked me.

“I’ll be the 6’5 blonde guy,” I said. 

She laughed. “I’ll be the 5’3 woman with brown curly hair!” She said. 

“Alright, meet you in an hour,” I said. 

I hung up and tapped my fingers on the kitchen counter. I still was no closer to knowing what this project was. I went to have a quick shower and got out of my jogging pants and tee shirt. Once I had showered and changed I went outside to see Annella. She was reading in the backyard.

“Annella, I have a business meeting,” I told her. “I’m taking off but I shouldn’t be long,” I said.

“Ok, darling! See you soon,” she said.

I walked over and kissed her cheek and then set out towards Westwood village. 

 

The drive wasn’t too long and I reached the bookstore soon enough. I parked and got out and as I walked to the front of the store I saw a woman with curly brown hair looking around and pacing. She turned and caught sight of me and smiled. Being 6’5 meant l always stood out.

She waved and I waved back. Once I was close enough I stuck my hand out.

“Ellie?”

“Yes! Oliver?”

“Yes, hi. How are you?” I asked with a smile.

“Great Thank you! Hope you’re well?”

“I am, thanks,” I replied.

“Great! Lets go inside,” she said.

I followed her inside and we made our way through the store to the cafe in the back. We ordered some coffee and settled down on a table. 

“So,” I said. “I’m extremely anxious to hear what your project is.”

She smiled and nodded her head. “I’ve been working on writing textbooks for philosophy classes,” she said. I felt my eyes widen slightly. “I started working on it about three months ago but it is proving a bit complex. I reached out to Steve, your boss, about a week ago so when you called me I assumed that he felt that you could help me.” She looked at me with a very happy expression on her face. 

I was caught completely by surprise. “I had no idea what your project was, this is my first time hearing about it. I must say I’m a bit surprised. I’ve never written a text book.”

“But you teach don’t you?”

“Yes I’ve been teaching for several years,” I said.

“Then you already know what needs to be taught. I’m beginning with an introduction to philosophy textbook. Then I plan to get more specific and write textbooks on Logic, Theoretical Philosophy, Ethics, Metaphysics etc, you know,” she said.

I nodded. “I know,” I said. I took a deep breath in. “Like I said I’ve never done anything like this,” I said. 

She nodded. “Well, now you know what my project is. Uh, I brought this,” she added giving me a large envelope. “That’s some outlines of what I’m planning to do. If it interests you, let me know.”

“Ok,” I said. I looked at her.

“Also, if this text book thing isn’t your THING,” she said. “Let me give you the number of a friend of mine who maybe you could be interested in working with,” she said, taking a piece of paper and writing a name and phone number. She handed to me.

“Ok, thank you,” I said with a smile.

“But take a look at what I’ve outline and even if you don’t want to be involved but want to give me some friendly advice, or if you change your mind and would like to help me? I’m sure Steve sent you to me for a reason. I’ve always trusted his judgement,” she said. 

“Yeah, I’ll keep and open mind. Ellie, it was wonderful meeting you,” I said shaking her hand again as we got up.

“Same, it was wonderful meeting you,” she replied. 

We walked out of the store and I waved at her as we stepped outside. She waved back and walked the opposite direction as me. I turned and walked out to my car and made my way back home. I was pleasantly surprised by what had happened. 

 

* * *

 

Annella has gone to bed about 9:15 and I stayed in the living room waiting for Elio. I saw the headlights shine through the window by the front door. I got up to go open the door for him. He grinned at me as he walked inside.

“Hey baby,” he said walking in.

“Hey,” I said, leaning in and kissing him. “Want some wine?”

“No, not tonight. I just want you,” he said. “I can’t wait to have time with you.”

I smiled and we held hands as we walked down the hallway to our bedroom. We walked in and walked to our closet. I started taking his tie off. I looked into his green eyes.

“Well, I did talk to Steve,” I said softly.

“Ok,” he said. I pulled his tie off and hung it up along with his other ties. I took his right wrist and unbuttoned his shirt there.

“He said that the university gives parents a six month leave.” He nodded as I took his other wrist and unbuttoned his shirt there as well. “So since your mother will be here till November and Valerie’s mom will be here all of December,” I said as I now started on his top button. “I can then take the second half of next year off, so we pretty much have it covered till the twins are one.”

I looked into his eyes and he smiled widely at me. “A year to figure out how we want to go from there,” he said softly. 

“Yes,” I said as I slid his button up shirt off his smooth shoulders. He slipped the shirt off all the way and threw it on the hamper.

“Well that sounds wonderful to me,” he said stepping closer to me and pressing his lips to mine.

“To me as well,” I said.

Elio smiled again and kissed me more. I wrapped my arms round him and pulled him close, enjoying his lips on mine. I pulled him up slightly so I could kiss his neck.

“Mmmm,” he said moaning softly. “Let’s go to bed. I need you so much.”

“Just as much as I need you,” I said, taking his hand and walking him towards our bed.


	64. Better Late Than Never

Sunday morning I awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside the window and the bright sunlight shining into the bedroom. I smelled the faint smell of coffee. I had to use the bathroom so I gently slid from the bed so as to not to disturb Elio. I walked back into the bedroom once I was done and pulled on pants and a tee shirt and softly walked out the bedroom. I closed the door gently. I walked down the hallway to the kitchen. Annella had the paper and was drinking coffee and eating a biscotti. 

“Morning,” I said as I walked in.

“Good morning darling,” she replied, putting the paper down. I leaned in a kissed her cheek. “How are you?”

I sat down and she reached over and squeezed my hand. “Good. I talked to my boss. They’ll give me six months off no problem so I’ll take the last half of next year off. We have a year to sort ourselves out.”

“Ah! Good!” Annella said smiling. “I can’t wait until the little angels are here,” she said placing a hand on her chest.

I grinned and squeezed her hand back. “Me neither. A baby girl,” I said.

“Ah! Look at you, papa! You’re already in love!” She said with her wonderful laugh. I nodded and smiled. I couldn’t help but picture a little girl with Elio’s curls. My heart melted.

“So Elio said you’re spending time with Valerie?” I said looking back at Annella.

“Yes! Buying some things and talking and just spending some time us girls together. She’s a wonderful person,” she said.

“Indeed she is. She has been gracious from the beginning and...” I took a breath in and shook my head, “I know this hasn’t been the easiest of circumstances,” I said looking at Annella.

She smiled. “Life is full of not easy circumstances,” she said caressing my cheek in a motherly way. It was lovely. “We move on, no?”

“We do,” I said. I looked warmly at Annella. How I wished my mother had been like this while I was growing up. Loving, warm, full of advice in the softest of ways. I took her hand and kissed it suddenly. “I wish, um...” I had a hard time saying it, no matter how true it was. It was not something that was easy for me. No one knew but Karen and Elio. “I wish my mother was more like you,” I said. “That’s why I’m so happy Ben and Michael have you as a grandmother.”

“Mon chérie,” Annella said looking at me tenderly. “Does she know?” She asked softly.

“I told her a while back,” I said nodding and keeping my voice steady. “I’ve not spoken to her since and maybe I never will.” I saw the pain in Annella’s eyes. “Don’t be sad, it’s ok. I’m ok with it. A not so easy circumstance,” I said with a smile.

Annella gave me a loving smile. “You are strong. Stronger than you give yourself credit for, you know,” she said. “A mighty man, a fierce protector of your family and those you love.”

I felt the hot sting of tears in the corner of my eyes. I blinked them away. “Thank you,” I said softly.

“You’re welcome, tesoro,” she said in her warm voice.

 

* * *

 

I was back in bed, sitting beside Elio as I slept and looked over the paper work Ellie had given me. Annella had hugged and kissed me bye. She told me to have Elio call Valerie’s some time today and if they weren’t home to just leave a message. I told her I would let Elio know.

I had a red marker in my hand. I was marking and writing advice and ideas. It was true when I had told Ellie I had never thought of writing a textbook, but now with this paper work in front of me, I actually wondered if this was something that not only I could do but wanted to do. I put the paper work down for a moment and leaned my head back on the headboard. I closed his eyes and thought about this. Philosophy was so wide ranging. I thought of all my years teaching and thought of the different textbooks I asked my student to get. I suddenly imagine, what if it could my textbooks or just books that would be required reading.

“Morning,” Elio’s voice broke through my daydream.

I opened his eyes and looked down at Elio. “Morning angel,” I said.

Elio gave me his sweet half smile and leaned in and kissed my bicep. He saw all the paper work on my lap. “What’s that?” He asked sleepily.

“This is something that fell into my lap by chance and is making me think a lot,” I said.

“Please, by all means be vague,” Elio said chuckling.

I looked at him and reached over and tickled him. He laughed and grabbed my hand trying to make me stop. This made me want to do it more. I grabbed the papers and threw them on the floor with my free left hand and then reached over and kept tickling Elio.

“Stop! Stop!” He said breathlessly. I remembered him at seventeen and how I had done this. I always found his laugh adorable and I loved how I was stronger and he couldn’t get away. I stopped and got on top of him. He was out of breath. He licked his lips and looked up at me. I leaned down and kissed him. I kissed down his lovely neck.

My heart was pounding. He made me feel so much. It was amazing how even after all we had been through together, in moments like this, when it was just me and him, I was suddenly 24 and back in Italy. I was discovering myself and finding out what real love was. It was scary and exciting. Terrifying and exhilarating. I ran my hands down his body. I heard a moan escape his lips. “I love your moans,” I whispered into his beautiful neck. I bit it gently. I kept biting gently until I reached his collar bone. I placed my lips right underneath it and bit harder and sucked his skin. It had been a long time since I had done this. I heard his gasp.

I did this a few more times on the same spot and watched as a purple mark appeared. It was a stark contrast to his pale his. I looked into his gorgeous eyes. “What did you do?” Elio asked grinning.

“What I wanted to do,” I said. I leaned in and kissed him deeply. My tongue sliding into his mouth. We pulled apart.

“Fuck me please,” Elio whispered.

I reached for the lube and as quickly as I could put some on myself thrusted deep inside of him. His moan was exquisite. I looked at his face as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back exposing his neck. I slid my hand under his head and grabbed his hair. I rested my cheek against his as I started pounding into him. I held him tight as I fucked him roughly. He had his legs tightly around me. I could feel his heels digging into my lower back. I was relentless. I was holding nothing back. 

“I fuck you good, don’t I daddy?” I whispered roughly in his ear.

“Yes! Yes!” He answered me breathlessly between gasps and groans. This just made me fuck him harder. I squeeze him tighter and groan loudly as I come deep inside him. It feels amazing. When I’m done I slip out and slide down his body taking him into my mouth. He comes in no time.

 

We had fallen back asleep, but not for long. Elio’s stirring woke me up. We kissed. “How come you’re so good at sneaking out of bed and you never wake me yet I move a finger and it wakes you up instantly?” Elio asks me with a smile.

“Wait til the twins get here,” I said chuckling. “You’re gonna start waking up at every single little sound,” I tell him.

I love how his perfect face beams at the mention of the twins. “I can’t wait,” he says. He looks into my eyes. “I’m sorry I asked you to stay home,” he says. His face looks emotional. I shake my head and open my mouth. “No, please. Just let me say it,” he says. “You’re career is no less important that mine. We both love what we do. Just I’m sorry. I’ve been sorta kicking myself in the ass for putting you on the spot baby. I won’t do it again.”

My heart melts. I shake my head and caress his cheeks. “It’s ok, and I know. We have some more months to figure it out. Right now, we have 48 hours just for us. No more I’m sorries. We’re going to have a wonderful couple of days,” I say as I pull him on top of me. We’re kissing as I hear his stomach grumble. I laugh.

“Well that was sexy,” he says, sitting up.

“Come on goose, you don’t need to get any skinnier,” I say as we get out of bed. 

 

We grabbed some cereal and sit down to eat. “So what were those papers? You don’t usually mark papers in bed,” Elio said.

“They weren’t work,” I replied. “The day I talked to Steve he gave me the phone number to a friend of his who had a project he said I may be interested in. I called her yesterday. Her name is Ellie Vaughn and it turns out she’s writing textbooks. Philosophy text books. She gave me some papers outlining what she plans to cover,” I told Elio. His eyes wide as he ate his cereal and listened to me. “More like a very detailed table of contents. She told me even if I wasn’t interested but just wanted to give her some advice she would take it. So I was just reading her stuff over,” I said with a shrug.

“Oh, so you told her you weren’t interested?” Elio asked me.

“I said writing textbooks was not something I had ever thought of doing,” I answers.

“And now that you’ve slept on it?” Elio asked me pushing his bowl of milk aside and leaning forward, elbows on the table.

“Not sure yet,” I said, letting out a breath. He laughs through his nose and shakes his head a little. “What?” I ask.

“Just remember you writing in Italy,” he says smiling and looking at me. “That one day, the day we kissed,” he continued. “You remember they had mixed up all your pages?”

I bit my lip and looked at him. “They hadn’t,” I said with a grin.

His eyes widened in surprised. “What?” He asked.

“They hadn’t,” I repeated quietly. “You has just told me -“

“Because I wanted you to know,” he said in the same voice. My stomach did a summersault.

I nodded. “I had feelings too and I,” I grinned and let out a deep breath remembering it all, feelings flooding me. “I didn’t want our moment to end.”

“But then you came out and told me to pretend I never said any of it,” he said shaking his head and crossing his arms.

“Yeah and then I followed you to your spot and kissed you,” I replied.

“Nope. _I_ kissed _YOU_!” Elio said getting up from his chair and coming to me. He straddled me as he sat on my lap. I grinned up at his gorgeous face. “Don’t you remember baby?” He asked me softly. “Don’t you remember how I licked your lip?” He asked as he leaned into me. I opened my mouth and smiled as I felt his soft tongue lick my top lip gently.

“Mmmmm,” I said as our lips met. “How could I forget?” I asked as we kissed some more.

“But you know what I loved the most?” He asked.

“What?” I asked as I kissed along his jaw.

“Grabbing your cock,” he said with a laugh. I looked up at him, his smile and a smug look on his face.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You were something else. I couldn’t believe you did that!” I said. “It took all of my self control to not take you right then and there!” I said grabbing him and attacking his neck.

He let out a wonderful laugh as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. “Mmmm and what would you have done to me?” He asked.

“Fuck you!” I said, panting. “Rough. Hard. You needed to be taught a lesson about not provoking the beast!”

“You can do it now,” he said. We looked into each other’s eyes. I couldn’t believe Elio sometimes. He was so amazingly perfect. “You never taught me that lesson. Do it now, better late than never.”

I shook my head. “You mean that fuck this morning wasn’t enough?” I asked with mock surprised. 

“Have you looked at yourself naked?” He asked me. “It will never, ever be enough,” he says and as he slides his hand into my boxers, between us and grabs a hold of my semi hard cock. “Right here on the kitchen floor,” he says.

That’s all he has to say and we’re on the floor quickly and I’m doing all the things I fantasized doing to him all those years ago.


	65. New Friends

After we had gotten up from the kitchen floor, I cleaned up our dishes and Elio called Valerie’s. He had caught them just in time Valerie had said. They were on their way out. Elio chatted with her and then Annella and said he would call them tomorrow. Once he hung up we went and showered. Once we were out of the shower we went back to our room and Elio and I started getting dressed. The phone rang. Elio walked out and quickly went to the kitchen to answer. I continued getting dressed. After a few minutes he came back. 

“So, we have been invited to the home of one of my co workers today. I told her yes that we would go,” he said looking at me with cute smile.

“Fine with me baby,” I said smiling back.

“Ok, let’s get going now, she’s a new cellist with the Orchestra and I really like her,” he said. I nodded.

We finished getting dressed and made our way to his car we took off towards his co worker’s home. 

“So since I told Ellie I wasn’t sure about working with her she gave me someone else’s name and phone number,” I told Elio. He nodded. “I’ll call them tomorrow and see what that’s about.”

“Ok,” Elio said stopping at a red light. “Wow, I imagine writing a textbook is a daunting task.”

“Yeah, it is. Not sure how long it’ll take her. But imagine being the textbook that’s needed for a class. That’s amazing,” I said.

Elio grinned at me before taking off again. “Sounds like you’re maybe rethinking things,” Elio said. “Could you recommend your own textbook to your students?” He asked.

I laughed. “I have no idea!” I said.

“Oh! Hey! Let’s stop here and get some wine or something,” he said. We stopped and did as he wanted. We were back on the road again and we soon arrived at a nice neighborhood with gated homes.

“Is this the kind of neighborhood you want to move to?” I asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” he said. “As long as it’s safe and we have enough room for all the kids and we like it,” he said. I laughed. “You know, should be easy to find,” he said grinning. The gate slid open and we drove inside.

The house was white and large. I saw a woman standing outside as Elio drove by and parked in front of her detached garage. We exited the car and Elio grabbed the bottle of wine we had bought.

“Toni!” Elio said said.

“Elio!” Toni called out and she came over and hugged him. She was tall, almost as tall as Elio, with a white button up and jeans. Her hair was brown and straight, she had long bangs that came right to her eyebrows.

Elio turned to me, “Toni this is the love of my life and the best half of this relationship, Oliver. Oliver, baby, this is Toni, cellist extraordinaire!”

“Nice to meet you,” I said shaking her hand and laughing.

“Like wise! Wow you’re tall!” She said giving me a wonderful smile. I laughed. “Come on in, come on in,” she said. Elio handed her the wine bottle. “Oh you shouldn’t have!” She said hugging Elio again. “Alex!” Toni called out. She looked behind her. “Time for you to meet my family, Elio,” she said. “Alex!”

We walked in and we walked to the kitchen. “It smells wonderful!” I said.

“Wish I could take credit but I can’t even boil water, so I stick to the cello!” She said. “Alex loves to cook though and is amazing at it, I’m a lucky gal.”

“You are a lucky gal,” a soft voice said from the doorway as a blond lady stepped in. She was in a knee length floral sundress with a pink cardigan. Her blond hair in soft waves around her face. “But I’m just as lucky,” she said coming over and kissing Toni.

“Gentlemen, this is Alex, the most beautiful woman on the planet,” she said. “Sweetie this is Elio,” Toni said.

“Oh, nice to finally meet you!” Alex said warmly.

“This is Oliver,” Toni said and I turned to shake Alex’s hand.

“Wonderful to meet you,” I said.

“Likewise,” Alex answered. “Ok, everyone sit! I’ll get the food out,” she said.

Toni got some wine glasses. The table had already been set for four. We went and sat down. Alex came with a wonderful smelling Paella. She set it down on the table and then went to the kitchen and returned with a salad and several dressings. “This smells wonderful,” I said. 

“Oliver is also an amazing cook,” Elio said.

“Wonderful. Oliver what do you do?” Toni asked me.

“I teach Philosophy at UCLA,” I said with a smile.

“Oh, impressive!” Toni said.

“And you Alex? What do you do?” Elio asked her.

“I’m a wedding planner,” she said smiling. “Wonderful thing about California is people get married anytime from February to November. I always take the holiday season off unless it’s someone I know. So the weather here is wedding planner friendly,” she said in a pleasant voice.

We ate dinner and chatted. Toni was from Sacramento and after graduating from Juilliard she went to work for the New York Philharmonic. “But I hated the winter and the cold. I never got used to is. I’m a California girl through and through!” She said. “So as soon as I was able to get a job with the LA orchestra, I moved!”

“She is! I don’t know how she survived in New York with no sun and no beaches!” Alex said.

“I’m from New England,” I tell them. “I must say the weather here seriously is a plus!”

Everyone laughs. We continue chatting. “So five years ago I was planning this wedding and the bride to be had this sister that’s from New York and who she wants to have involved in every single detail,” Alex says with a sweet smile. Her voice is high and very sweet and feminine. “So I’m calling this sister constantly and trying to get her on board with what my client and I are thinking,” Alex continues. “And she’s just so abrasive and doesn’t seem to like any ideas I had,” she says giggling.

“For the record, it’s hard to visualize bouquets and stuff alright!” Toni says laughing.

“Anyway, finally this sister gets to California,” Alex says. “And I just fall head over heels for her!” Elio and I laugh.

“You two can imagine how I reacted when I saw this perfect woman was my sister’s wedding planner!” Toni said. “So I start harassing my sister for info on her, asking everything I can!” Toni beams at Alex. “It was love at first sight,” she says.

“Aw, it sure was,” Alex says nodding. I smile at them. It feels good to be with another loving couple. I glance at Elio and see the lovely smile on his face. “So how did you two meet?” Alex asks. 

“Ha ha,” Elio says, laughing his cute open mouth laugh. “Do you want the long version or the short version?” He asks.

I roll my eyes. “Back in ‘83, I was fortunate to go to Italy. Elio’s father is a profession and he boards American undergraduate students working on their thesis. I was picked and I went and there was Elio!” I said. 

“It was love at first sight for me,” he said. “I shamelessly perused him and finally kissed him and then he ignore me for a couple of weeks,” Elio said. “Then he finally came to his sense and we had a wonderful few weeks,” Elio said.

“But... life can be complicated,” I said. “I came back here and... got married,” I said. I shrugged. 

“Yeah. I married too when I was younger. It lasted three years,” Toni said.

“Yeah my divorce was finalized earlier this year,” I said. “The house was just sold. My ex wife and I have shared custody of our sons,” I said.

“Aw, how old are they?” Alex asked.

“Ben turned three in March and Michael will be six in a couple of weeks, at the end of May,” I said.

“Show them pictures,” Elio said. I grinned and whipped out my wallet and showed them pictures.

Toni and Alex ooh and aah at Ben and Michael. “And now you’re about to have twins, right?” Toni asked.

“Yeah, so, when I moved here from Italy, Oliver was still married,” Elio said. “So I met someone and, yeah after things were over we found out she was pregnant. Yes, twins. A boy and a girl,” Elio said beaming.

“Talk about full house! How many nannies will you need? One or two?” Toni asked.

Elio and I glanced at each other. “We have till the twins are one to figure that out,” Elio said with a cute half smile.

“It’ll be difficult. You a full time professor and you a full time concert pianist. I love Philosophy but the way, Oliver,” Toni said.

“Oh wonderful,” I said smiling.

“I read Being and Nothingness my first year of college and I took several philosophy classes,” she said. 

“Hmm interesting read,” I said.

“Oh yeah, I loved it and the whole idea of philosophy really intrigued me so I took several classes and I’m glad I did!” She said.

The dinner continued like this. Toni and I discussed some philosophy and Alex had great knowledge of classical music and so we engaged in talk about music as well. They were both wonderful, intelligent women and I was glad Elio and I had come for dinner.

Alex had a wonderful cheesecake that she had made that we ate after dinner was done. Toni made some coffee and we settled down and enjoyed more pleasant conversation.

“Elio! I meant to tell you I saw you on Entertainment Tonight while you were in Paris. I was curious, do you ask them to not ask you personal questions?” Toni asked.

Elio took a deep breath in. “Luckily no, I’ve not been asked about my romantic life so it hasn’t been awkward,” Elio said.

“Hmm... people have such a fascination with other’s people’s sex lives don’t they?” Toni said.

I nodded as a took a spoon full of cheesecake. “Especially if it doesn’t match their own version or right and wrong,” I said. I suddenly thought of my parents. “Elio is extremely lucky. His parents accept him for who he is,” I said softly.

“I truly am,” he said.

“My father still has a hard time accepting me,” Alex says. “My mother is ok. She’ll come over and have dinner with us and visit but my father has never come. I took Toni with me to Thanksgiving last year and my dad just called her ‘my friend’ but he wasn’t rude or anything.”

“My sister is a godsend. My parents are devout Catholics so it was hard but my sister is amazing. My mom and I sometimes talk, my dad and I barely. But Alex and I are doing thanksgiving with them this year. We figure we can try it and see it and if after this year we want to just start our own thing then we will,” Toni said. 

“I told my mother earlier this year when my divorce was pretty much finalized,” I said. “She took it as I expect it. I don’t really expect to talk to either one of them ever again. My sons can grow up with Elio’s parents are grandparents and that’s all I need to be happy,” I said.

We continued our talking and then we made our way to the living room. They had a beautiful piano and Toni brought her cello out. Alex and I sat and listened to them play a few pieces. It was magical to say the least.

“We should write something together,” Elio told Toni. “I have to put another album out by next year in February,” he said.

“Are you kidding me! I would love to!” Toni said smiling.

“Are you going to put out another holiday album? One with just you anytime soon?” Alex asked.

“Yes I am,” he said smiling. “I’ll have one this holiday season. I’ll be recording it in August.”

“Ok that makes me happy. I was hoping you would do one alone. You were the best in the one you had last year. I’m glad this time it’ll be just you!” She said.

“Thank you,” Elio said.

After a bit more talk Elio and I got up. Toni and Alex walked us to the door and we hugged them both. 

“Thank you so much for coming,” Alex told us.

“Thank you so much for having us. I hope we get together again soon,” I said smiling at Alex. I went and hugged Toni.

“Wonderful to meet you, Oliver,” Toni said.

“The pleasure was all mine, thank you,” I said. “I hope we can get together again soon.”

“Yes, let’s plan another dinner. I’d love that!”

They waved at us as we walked back to Elio’s convertible and climbed inside. We waved again and drove past their gate and out to the street.

“That was wonderful,” I said. 

“It was,” Elio nodded. He reached over and took my hand. “I love showing you off,” he said sweetly. “I’m so proud you’re mine.”

I felt my neck grow warm. “I’m just as proud that you’re mine baby,” I said.

He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it. I smiled his way and felt complete happiness as we drove home.


	66. Declarations And Affirmations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... no real story development I just wanted to indulge in some shameless smut and a little fluff!  
> The song in this chapter: Color My World by Chicago  
> Enjoy!  
> <3

Oliver and I had come home from Toni’s and Alex’s place and were in the best of moods. I opened the front door and we walked inside. I turned to him. “Want some wine?” I asked. 

“Sure,” he said. I loved his sexy smile. We walked into the kitchen and I grabbed a couple of glasses and a bottle of wine and walked back out to the living room. I glanced behind me and saw he had the corkscrew. I handed him the bottle. I watched as his strong hands opened the bottle up. He poured wine into the glasses and we settled down on the couch.

He leaned back on the couch, his right arm across the back and wine glass in his left hand. He looked so handsome. I turned to face him as I sipped on my wine. He glanced over at me and met my gaze. He was so perfect. “I meant what I said in the car,” I said softly.

“What’s that?” He asked. We had discussed several things.

“I love showing you off,” I said. I took another sip of my wine. I saw a smile ghost his lips. 

He looked up at me again. “Why?” He asked softly.

I looked at him over my wine glass as I finished it. I place it down on the coffee table and poured myself some more. I hold the bottle out to him and he nods. I pour some more wine into his glass. I place the bottle down and pick my glass up with my right hand. I rub his right thigh with my left hand. Pressing my finger tips into his skin through the fabric of his pants. “Why do I like showing you off?” I ask.

“Yeah,” He says softly from behind me.

“Well, I hope I don’t sound shallow but the first thing that stands out when meeting you is how incredibly good looking you are,” I say as I keep caressing his thigh slowly. “You’re like a golden Greek God sent down from Mount Olympus to grace us all with with beauty and perfect physique,” I said.

“The same can be said about you Elio, you’re absolutely stunning,” he said as he leans forward and places his wine glass on the coffee table. I look to my left as his perfectly handsome face is just inches from mine.

“Well, you are in a league of your own when it comes to your looks,” I say. I lick my lips.

He grins. “Thank you,” he whispers.

“Then there is the fact that you’re so smart,” I say softly. I reach up and caress his face. “So smart and it’s such a turn on,” I say. My hand is still caressing his thigh.

He cups my cheek. “How much of a turn on?” He asks.

“So much so,” I say. “You’re so much more knowledgeable than me on so many things and I love that,” I say as my hand slowly slides between his legs. 

“Oh I don’t know about that,” he whispers as he inches closer to me. “I don’t think there is anything you don’t know,” he says and with that his lips cover mine in needy kisses. 

I gasp and moan as the intensity of my need and desire burst forth. I’m on him quickly, pushing him into the back of the couch as I straddle him, wanting and needing to claim him. He surprises me when he sits up and grabs my wrists. I look into his blue eyes. He places my wrists behind my back and holds them firmly in place with his right hand, his left hand sliding up the back of my head and into my hair, holding me as he kisses me roughly. He pulls my hair back, exposing my neck and I feel his lips and tongue there. Kissing, licking, sucking. I moan.

I break free. I put my hands on his shoulders and push him back into the couch and bite his chin and continue biting along his jaw. I hear him moan as I bite his neck. I reach down and grab the hem of his shirt and pull it off him. I’m so hungry for him. He pulls my shirt off too and is suddenly picking me up and is on top of me, pinning me to the couch. I feel him thrust his hips into me. I moan at how good that feels. But I want to dominate him. I need to. I sit up and straddle him again. I grab his hair and pull his head back again, sliding my tongue into his mouth and moan into our kiss.

I stood up and pulled him up and started making my way to the bedroom. The moment we walked inside the door I turned and started kissing him earnestly again. He grabbed me around the waist and picked me up. He threw me on the bed and I looked up at his face as he started undoing his pants. He looked hungry. Needy. He wanted to claim me as much as I wanted to claim him. He pushed his pants and boxers down, his hard cock springing forth. I felt my mouth water, my heart skip a beat. He was so perfect. 

He got on the bed and crawled to me. I reached out wanting and needing to touch him. I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to me. His lips smashed into mine. Our mouths opened and our tongues danced between our lips. I reached down and undid my jeans, pushing them and my boxers down past my hips. I kicked them off and Oliver grabbed them and pulled them off me. He got up to get the lube and got up on my knees.

“Get on your back,” I said. Oliver gave me a half smile. He laid on his back and I took a pillow and placed it under his hips. I kneel down between his legs, spreading my knees apart, almost sitting on my feet. I took the lube and put it on myself. I looked down at his perfect, gorgeous body. I lean forward and using my right thumb, pushed my erection down, placing my tip just inside Oliver’s entrance. I slide into him. I watch his face as I thrust deep into him. “I love watching your face as I fuck you,” I tell him. I groan as I start to pound into him. He arches his back and throws his head back. “Look at me,” I say roughly. He tilts his face down and we look into each other’s eyes. “You’re mine,” I say.

Oliver does something to me. He makes me lose control in every way. I wrap my right arm around his left leg and go as hard and as fast as I can. I want to make him beg me to stop. I want to prove to him with every single thrust that no one can please him the way I do. No one could worship his body the way I can. Only me, since no one loves him as much as I do. I love how he’s groaning. I thrust in as deep as I can. All I’m focused on right now is that Oliver is mine and that he’s feeling every inch of me pounding into him.

This continues for as long as I physically can. I finally come deep inside him. We’re sweaty and panting. Once I soften and pull out and in no time at all he’s on his knees behind me. It’s his turn now. He needs to claim me as much as I needed to claim him. The sting is sudden but it dissipates quickly. He’s grabbed on to my hips and I have brace myself against the delicious assault Oliver is inflicting on my body. My palms are flat on the headboard and my elbows stiff. 

I love that he feels so needy and hungry as he fucks me. It’s such a turn on. I let myself get as loud as I want. I’m always quite vocal but tonight I’m being even louder. Oliver loves it. He’s constantly praising me and telling me how good it feels inside of me. I love how Oliver is fucking me. He’s rough but always loving. I always feel the love and adoration in everything Oliver does to me sexually. The way he kissed and touches me. The way he bites me and fucks me. It’s all love. It’s all amazing.

I love the sounds our bodies are making and I love the way the bed shakes. I close my eyes and picture him, his face and shoulders, his strong arms and hands and the way his fingers squeeze my hips. There are days when I go back to when I first met him. How I had chased him. How I had orchestrated that day when we had our first kiss. To know now he had lied to just spend more time with me made me as giddy as when I read his reply to my note. “Grow up. See you at midnight.”

There was nothing like loving and being loved back. In every way.

I feel him come in me. Deep. I love how he moans. I love how he always pulls me close afterwards. I know he doesn’t want the intimacy to end. Neither do I. I’m comforted by the fact that it never really does. I’m his and he’s mine. Our love is strong and real and I know it’ll last forever. 

Oliver and I lay in bed panting. We drift off to a peaceful sleep in no time. 

 

* * *

 

We had slept in Monday morning and Oliver has cooked brunch. After we had eaten and cleaned up the kitchen we went into the living room. I looked through my music and put a Chicago record on. Oliver smiled at me. “You like them?” 

“Yeah, they’re great,” I said. “I love their lyrics too. It’s all great.” We sat in the couch and chatted for a while. I was waiting for a certain song to come on. When it was about to, I stood up and held my hand out to him. “May I have this dance?” I asked him.

I saw him blush slightly and nod. We moved past the coffee table in the open area in front of our sliding glass doors. The sun was shining in. The slow piano started. I wrapped my arms around Oliver’s waist and he put his arms over my shoulders. We swayed side to side in tempo with the song. I looked into Oliver’s eyes as the lyrics started. They were simple and perfect. 

“As time goes on... I realize... just what you mean to me. And now, now that you're near, promise your love that I've waited to share and dreams of our moments together. Color my world with hope of loving you.”

The piano continued and the flute solo started. I smiled up at him. “I love you,” I say softly.

“And I love you,” Oliver replies. He leans down and kisses me and I am utterly happy.

 

 


	67. A New Opportunity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darlings!  
> This chapter is a bit short but I promise I make it up in the next one!  
> Enjoy!  
> <3

Elio and I had been having a wonderful day. It was almost one in the afternoon and I decided to give the number Ellie had given me a call. Elio had made us some mango smoothies and he was sitting at the kitchen counter beside me as I called. “Ok, let’s see what this is about,” I said as I dialed the number.

Elio raised his eyebrows and squeezed my hand as the phone rang. 

“Hello! Brian Sinclair here.”

“Brian, hello,” I said. “My name is Oliver and I met up with Ellie Vaughn on Saturday. She gave me your phone number and she told me you had a project that she thought I may be interested in,” I said. 

“Oh! Hi! Ellie, yes. Are you an author?”

“No, actually I’m a professor of Philosophy at UCLA,” I said. 

A pause. “Oh! Wow!” He said. “Ok well, my name is Brian Sinclair and I work for the Los Angeles Times. I was interested in finding someone with a background in Philosophy to write a weekly column. I’d just like for you to maybe take the biggest thing going on this week, whether it be something in politics or law or even Hollywood write about it from an philosophically ethical point of view.”

“Like an opinion column?” I asked.  

“Yeah! Yes! Listen I pitched it to my boss and he’s interested. Now I just need to find someone to write this and write me a good column and present it to me. I was hoping to end up attracting someone like you! I mean you’re teaching philosophy at UCLA! You’re teaching the next generation of Americans, you know and it would be cool to maybe spread it to the masses what you teach them via a column in the LA Times.”

“Ok, so... what type of timeline am I looking at here?” I asked.

“Ah I wanted to start in June,” Brian said laughing. “But if you just want to let me know if you’re on board as soon as possible I’d really appreciate it.”

“Ok,” I said nodding.

“Like pretend you’re writing for your students. What would you want to lecture them about? I mean I know Philosophy is constantly changing and as the world changes so, yeah think of it that way!”

“Yeah, ok. Sure. I’ll get back you one I’ve made up my mind.”

“Thank you so much Oliver! Hey! Mind giving me your number?”

“Sure,” I said and gave him the house number.

“Thank you so much and I hope to hear something positive from you soon!” 

I laughed. “Ok. Talk soon. Bye!” 

I hung up and looked at Elio. “Do what was it?” Elio asked.

“It was a guy from the LA Times. He says he was looking for someone to write a weekly column about relevant topics but from a philosophically ethical point of view,” I explained to him.

“Wow,” Elio said. 

I laughed. “Yeah that’s the same thing I thought,” I told him.

“So..?” Elio asked.

“So he wants to know as soon as I’ve made up my mind,” I said.

Elio grinned. “That’s really cool baby,” he said. “School is over you have the summer to work on it and see if you like writing it or not,” he said to me, getting up from his stool and kissing me. 

I nodded. I would be lying if I didn’t like this idea. “Yeah, I’ll think about it,” I said.

“Ok, I’m gonna call Valerie and my mom,” he said.

“Yeah,” I said and we switched places. I sat on the stool and he went to the phone. I drank my smoothie as I pondered about writing a column. It really did sound like a lot of fun. I took a deep breath in. I drank my smoothie and lost myself in the thoughts of what things I could write about.

“Yeah! Ok. I’ll tell Oliver. Ok bye,” Elio said. 

I looked up at him raising my eyebrows. Elio had a cute smile on his face. “What is it?” I asked. 

“Do you want to go to Babies R Us and buy something for the babies?” He asked blushing. He was blushing. I felt myself melt. 

“Yes!” I said getting up. I grabbed him and kissed him all over his gorgeous face. I wanted to kiss everywhere he was blushing. He was laughing.

“Ok, let’s get dressed and we’ll drive to Valerie’s,” he said.

 

* * *

 

We met up with Valerie and Annella and made our way to a plaza near by where there was a huge Babies R Us. I took a deep breath in. I looked at Elio. “What am I allowed to buy?” I asked. 

He laughed. “Anything you want,” he said. 

“Uh, well, I was only going to pick up a few things, I was going to wait till after the baby shower to see what I got then but, if there was something you know you wanted to babies to have, then by all means,” Valerie said shrugging her shoulders and smiling.

I nodded and walked around feeling so excited. Buying something for the twins somehow made it all so much more real. We walked in and Annella and Valerie started looking at bedding for the cribs. I glanced over at the cribs. I turned to Elio. “We need cribs,” I said.

He nodded. “I know. Two of them,” he said. “We also need to start looking at homes,” he added.

“Yes but it’s also already May and the babies are coming in July. So for us to start looking and finally finding something when would we be closing?” I asked him. He nodded in understanding. “Anyway, I also don’t want to be rushed in buying a home just because, Elio.” 

“Neither do I,” he said.

“Ok, well, Valerie may have some wonderful friends who may give her a crib. Maybe even two, but no one will give her four. So,” I said looking at all the displays. “Let’s buy two cribs for our home,” I said. 

Elio grinned and nodded. We started looking around. “How are we going to get them home?” Elio asked suddenly.

“Oh! I’ll call Lidia!” I said. “She has a mini van. I’m sure they’ll fit,” I told him.

 “Ok,” Elio said nodding. We looked  for a while until we found a design we both liked. We got one in white and one in cherry. We went and paid for them and were told they we would be given a call when they were ready to come and pick up in about a week. I got excited. This was exciting. I was happy. Very happy.

Valerie and Annella finished up with what they were buying and we all left and went to a restaurant near by. After dropping them off Elio and I rode home.

Once home, Elio took me to the sunroom and started playing piano. I watched him play and sunshine shone in through the windows and hit him at the most beautiful angles, lighting up his hair and hands. He looked beautiful.

 

* * *

 

It was later on in the evening. Elio and I were laying in bed reading. Elio was leaning on me, I had my arm around him and was holding my book with my other hand. I put it down and started thinking about the twins and when they would be here. 

“What you thinking about?” Elio asked me.

“The twins,” I said. “Wonder how much they’ll look like you,” I whispered.

Elio smiled and looked up at me. “Who knows, I’ve been wondering myself,” he said chuckling. “Is it weird I want them both to look like me?” He asked. “Like I want people to see them with me and know that they’re my children?” 

I chuckled softly and turned to him. “No, my love,” I said. “Not weird at all.” I of course wanted both babies to look a lot like Elio as well. 

“Ok. Good. I want them both to look like me,” he said.

I laughed and kissed him. “So do I baby,” I said. “So do I.”


	68. Building Things Together

Tuesday afternoon, I was in the sunroom playing piano when I heard the front door open. I got up and walked down the hallway and saw my mom and Valerie coming in. Valerie has told me she would give her old set of keys to my mom. I hugged and kissed them both. 

“Can I have something to drink?” Valerie asked me. “It’s so hot already.”

“Yeah! Of course!” I said. I watched as my mom helped her to the couch and I went to the kitchen and I got her a cold glass of water.

“Thank you so much,” she said gulping it down.

“You want more?” I asked. 

“No, thank you,” she said. Valerie leaned her head back. She looked exhausted.

“It’s hard to sleep now,” my mother said looking at me. I nodded. I looked at Valerie who still had her eyes closed.

The front door opened again and Oliver walked him. I got up and walked to the front door and kissed him. “Hey,” I said.

“Hey,” he answered back. He walked into the living room and gave my mom a kiss. He patted Valerie’s hand. “You look tired, you having trouble sleeping?” He asked.

“Yeah, I can’t get comfortable,” she said sighing.

“Yeah, with Ben, Karen ended up sleeping in the recliner we had for the last few weeks,” Oliver said. 

“Really? I nap on mine sometimes. Maybe I should think about just staying there all night,” she said.

“Maybe,” Oliver said. “And you’ll be closer to the kitchen in case you get hungry,” he said. “Because I know you can only eat a little bit at a time now,” he said.

“Yes,” Valerie said.

I looked at my mother. “Jeez mom, I’m sorry,” I said. Everyone burst out laughing.

“Darling, being pregnant was absolutely wonderful,” she said.

“Once the twins are here I’m sure I’ll feel the same way,” Valerie said smiling at me. “Just now, I just wish I could sleep all night. It would be so amazing,” she said.

We continued chatting and we let Valerie rest as long as she wanted to. Once she was ready to go she hugged my mom and Oliver and I walked her out to her car.

“I’m worried you’re not sleeping,” I said as we reached the driver’s side door.

“It’s super common the last couple of months and then I’m also carrying two little ones so it’s extra extra extra,” she said with a smile. “It’s ok, time will fly and then...”

“And then babies,” I said. She nodded.

“We haven’t really talked about how we’re going to divide our times with the babies yet,” I said.

“Oliver and I kind of did. I saw him this morning on campus,” she said.

“Oh!” I said.

She laughed. “We’ll wait to see what our fall semester schedules will look like and we’ll take it from there. He told me second half of the year he’ll be home so it’ll be easier for you both.”

“Yes,” I said.

“Ok, we’ll figure it out,” she said with a smile.

“Of course,” I said, giving her a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

“Your mom is coming to stay with me Friday to Monday,” she said. I nodded. “Weekend after is the baby shower, and she’s spending the weekend with me as well. She’s gonna help Kim decorate the townhome because I’m so useless,” Valerie said laughing. I smile. “I told Karen as well, FYI and I think she’s bringing Ben but I think she said she’ll leave Michael with you and Oliver.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever works,” I said, feeling happy Valerie was looking forward to it and that my mother would be involved in it as well. We said goodbye and she got into her car and we waved as she took off. I walked back inside.

 

* * *

 

Oliver, my mom and I had had a wonderfully relaxing dinner. Oliver told my mom about the phone call the day before. My mom filled us in on the weekend she had spent with Valerie. She said she had met Valerie’s best friend Kim and that’s when they had talked about the baby shower. My mother seemed so happy about it and I was glad she was sharing this moment with Valerie.

Once we were done eating, we all cleaned up and I went into the sunroom to play. Oliver had come in later and I saw him at his chair writing. 

“What are you writing?” I asked him.

“Hmm, putting some ideas down on paper in case I do decide to tell Brian I’m interested,” he said. I looked at him and grinned. I watched him as he wrote. He made my heart melt. He suddenly became aware of the fact that I was staring at him. “What?” He asked smiling. 

I shook my head. “Just, you know, staring at you in awe and love and wonder,” I said with a shrug of my shoulders.

Oliver laughed. “Play, play, play, it helps me think,” he said. 

“What would you like to hear?” I asked.

“Anything, my love,” he said.

I nodded. “Chopin then. Opus 9, number 2 in E flat major.” Oliver gave me a sweet smile and I started playing. I would glance over every once in a while and see him write. He was lost in thought and I loved it. He looked happy. This is all I wanted for him. Happiness.

 

* * *

 

I had concerts from Wednesday to Sunday. Saturday morning Karen dropped the boys off and as Valerie had mentioned to me she asked we didn’t mind watching Michael the following weekend. Of course it wasn’t a problem at all. She also reminded me Sunday on the weekend after that was Michael’s birthday party, which, of course, we had not forgotten about.

I only had Monday off the week before the baby shower, and had concerts Tuesday to Friday. When my mother came home from spending the weekend with Valerie she was overjoyed to have Ben and Michael at home with us. 

On the mornings before my concerts and after the boys had had breakfast, I spent time with Ben teaching him a few things here and there. My mother would normal sit on the chair we had in the sunroom and just beam at Ben and I. I smiled at her one morning.

“You love this,” I said to her.

“I think of you, tesoro, at his age with your little fingers and wouldn’t just bang bang bang, you would pay attention to each key like he does. Look at him. He looks just like Oliver!” She said her eyes wide. I nodded and grinned. “Maybe the twins too will like to learn the piano,” she said with a smile.

“Or maybe not,” I said with a shrug. My mother nodded in understanding.

 

On Thursday when I came home from my concert, Oliver grabbed my hand and took me to our bedroom. The two huge boxes with the cribs were in our room.

“Fuck, they’re huge,” I said. “And how did you get them? Lidia was playing with me tonight,” I asked looking at Oliver.

“Her husband came with me and I’m glad because they’re heavy.”

“Are they going to fit?” I asked looking around. 

“They will,” Oliver said. “We’re going to have to put your dresser here,” he pointed to the wall to the right of the bed adjacent to the door. I had a chaise there. “Move to the chaise to the open area there in sitting area that you have just empty,” he said. “And that’ll leave this area for the cribs.” He pointed to the area in front of my bed where I had the dresser and nothing else which left plenty of space.

I nodded. “Yeah ok,” I said.

“When they wake up to be fed at 3 am, you’ll take one and I’ll the other and we will enjoy wonderful sleepless nights together,” he said with a huge grin on his face.

“Yay!” I said. “I’m SO looking forward to 3 am feedings!” We laughed and kissed.

  

My mother left Friday night to go be with Valerie. Oliver slept in Saturday morning, and I got up with Ben and Michael and made them pancakes. I had Ben on my lap and Michael was telling me his birthday party which would be the following weekend.

“I’m going to have a Superman birthday party,” he said. “My mom said I could dress up like Superman!”

“I can’t wait. So Superman cake too?”

“Yeah! I saw it at the store!” He said excitedly. 

“Ben are you going to dress up like Superman too for your brother’s birthday party?”

“No. I’m a cowboy,” he said.

“That’s awesome too,” I replied.

They had finished eating by the time Oliver was up and I told him I was going to give Ben a bath while he ate. Once he was out of the bath, Oliver came in to dress him. Karen has left an outfit ready for him. It was a little button up shirt and shorts with bow tie. He, of course, looked adorable. I brushed his hair just like Oliver brushed his, to one side.

“He is so adorable!” I said. Oliver laughed. “He looked just like you, I love it!”

I grabbed the camera Oliver had gifted me for Christmas and took some pictures of him. Karen came soon after and picked him up. After the baby shower she was gonna come and get Michael.

Once she left we decided to take Michael to the beach a few hours then took him for ice cream. We then got pizza and made our way home. Karen was by around 8:30 from the baby shower. Oliver walked Michael out since Ben had fallen sleep in the car.

 

* * *

 

 

Sunday morning Oliver and I were having breakfast when he looked at me and said, “I was thinking we could build something together today.”

“What?” I asked.

“The cribs goose!”

“Oh! Yeah? You want to?” I asked a bit surprised. We still had two months till the babies came.

He took my hand. “You have the whole day off so we can take our time. The boys are with Karen and your mom will be back tomorrow. Today is ours. I want us to build the cribs today. On our day.” I felt overwhelmed by emotion. I nodded.

After we finished breakfast we cleaned up and set to work. We moved the furniture and started with the cherrywood crib. I couldn’t take my eyes off Oliver. He was so perfect. He took charge and I helped him in doing whatever he asked me to do. We then started with the white crib. This one went a bit faster since we had just built one. Once we were done we sat at the edge of our bed and looked at the cribs.

“Wow,” I said.

“I know,” he whispered.

I took his hand in mine. I looked at him. I bit my bottom lip and tried as hard as I could to stop them but I couldn’t. Tears fell down my face.

“Elio! What is it?” He asked looking at me concerned.

I shook my head. I took a few deep breaths and finally looked his way again. “I just helped you build our babies cribs,” I said.

He smiled and I saw the tears in his eyes too. He wiped away quickly. “It’s what we do. It’s what we’re good at. Building things together.”

“Together,” I said. I leaned in and kissed him. I felt as if I wanted to cry harder so I kissed him hard. I pulled him to me and quickly scooted back on the bed. “Come here,” I said. I took my shirt off and slid off my pants and boxers. He undressed as well and in no time was on top of me, kissing me all over. “This is it Oliver,” I said as he kissed my neck. He lifted his head up and looked down at me. “We’re going about to have these babies and then we’re buying a home. This is it. You can never leave me,” I said. I felt the flood of emotions from that summer just as clear as if it had just happened yesterday. The ache of his departure so deep and soul shattering. I didn’t know what look I had on my face but he pulled me close to him. 

“Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, Elio. I’m never leaving. I’m not going anywhere,” he said.

“Good,” I said pulling back and looking up into his blue eyes. “Now make me yours.”

And he did. The whole afternoon and late into the night. As many times as he wanted to and then I made him mine as many times as I wanted to. I didn’t know what time it was when we finally fell sleep. I couldn’t wait for the rest of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Darlings!  
> Obviously there are some big and amazing changes to come to our boys! I’m going to be taking the next week off posting as I work out the details and make sure everything is perfect and to my liking before I begin posting again! I want to thank each and everyone of you for reading and supporting me with this little story of mine and I will be back with a new chapter on Oct. 31! Halloween! Thank you all and see you back in a week!!  
> Lots of Love! <3 <3 <3


	69. Sweet Arrivals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies!  
> I’m back and happy to be back with this little story of mine. So, a few things will change from now on. It’s obvious that Elio and Oliver are established as a couple and living their best lives so, there will be time hopping from now on. Instead of going on with a day to day story, I will be skipping ahead to important times in their lives and staying there for as long necessary to continue the story. The time hops will normally begin with a brief summary of what has happened between that moment and where we left them last!  
> So, without further ado, let us continue!  
> Thank you all for your continued support and all your comments and kudos!!  
> ENJOY!  
> <3

_July 19, 1991_

 

_Oliver_

 

The weeks between the the building of the cribs and the arrival of the twins could only be described in one word: blissful. I was done teaching for the year and so I was at home and Elio was a bundle of nerves and excitement and I loved it. He would gush and gush about all the things he wanted to do with the twins and we spoke more to Ben and Michael about their brother and sister coming, showing them the cribs.

Elio also was just overall more loving and tender in bed. Not that I didn’t like my dominant Elio, he was such a turn on, but Elio suddenly just wanted to have our love making be all about love and I was ok with that. In the back of my mind, I always wondered if dominant Elio came out not just because he loved to dominate, which was more than fine with me, but as a way to also make up for all those years I was married to someone else. Maybe one day I’d ask him. But right now, life was all about the precious bundles we were waiting on.

June rolled around and he performed at the Tonis. His mother and I went and I was blown away when I saw him being talked about on Entertainment Tonight being called one of the best dressed in his all off white ensemble. He did a few more interviews and he was asked for several autographs in public. I hung back and let him have his moment. My heart soared with pride from a distance.

I had also decided to with writing a weekly column for the LA times. I actually found it relaxing and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It seemed to be doing well and I was surprised by how much they paid for a once a week column. I had no shortage of issues to discuss and I had fun looking forward to the next column I was to write. 

Last but not least, the Professor had arrived last week and our family felt finally complete.

Life was wonderful.

Elio had finally given in and got himself a cell phone but then came home with two of them and told me if he was to suffer so was I. I wasn’t sure why he hated the idea of a cell phone so much but I kissed his cheek and thanked him for my phone. This seemed to make him very happy.

 

July 19 began like any other day. Annella and the Professor were with Valerie full time now as of five days ago. It was Friday and I had just turned in my column for the week and was walking into the house when my cell phone began to ring. It was Annella. 

“Oliver! Oh where is Elio? I’ve tried him twice!” I had walked to the bedroom and heard the shower going.

“He’s showering,” I said. “What’s up!”

“It’s Valerie! I’m on my way to the hospital! It’s time!”

My heart leapt to my throat. “Should we meet you at Valerie’s?”

“Yes please, come now. I’ve been timing her contractions since 5 am. We need to go now!”

“Ok!” I said. I turned as Elio stepped out of the shower. 

“What is it?” Elio asked.

“It’s time,” I said.

Elio got dressed in record time. We ran out and got into a minivan we had acquired. I couldn’t believe it but I had just put the two infant car seats in it yesterday. I had told Elio I wanted a mini van barely two weeks and he had looked at me in surprise. “I’m about to be the father of four! I deserve one!” And with that we had gone into a dealership three days ago in my car and we had come home in the mini van of my choice. I remembered putting in the infant car seats and I couldn’t believe how perfect the timing was.

I glanced at Elio as we made the short drive to Valerie’s. If he was nervous he sure wasn’t showing it, but then again he thrives under pressure.

I saw him dial someone on his cell. “Good morning to you!” He said pleasantly. “I’m on my way to Valerie’s, the twins are coming,” he said. I figured he was calling the conductor. “Yeah, I’ll keep you updated,” he said his voice breaking. I squeezed his hand.

We made it quickly and we rushed inside. Valerie was in the living room couch, Annella by her side. Elio rushed to her. The Professor was by the door with a couple of bags ready.

“I got my van, I can take Val and Annella if you wanna follow behind me?” I asked him and he nodded. Elio and Annella helped Val down the stairs and into the van, where Annella joined her in the backseat. We took off. The ride to the hospital was quick and I let them out at the entrance of the maternity ward. The Professor and I parked and rushed inside.

Paperwork was filled out and Valerie was put in a wheel chair. The Professor and I stayed out of the way and Elio and Annella took care of everything. Once Valerie was being wheeled in, Elio came and took Valerie’s bag. He squeezed my hand. “I love you,” I whispered. “I’ll be out here. Keep me updated.”

“I will,” Elio said. “Oliver I love you more,” he said.

“Impossible,” I answered him and he turned and walked into the hospital, looking back one last time and giving me a wonderful smile.

 

* * *

 

_Elio_

 

It was a funny feeling. Time seemed to be moving fast but slowly. Everything seemed to be rushing yet it all seemed to be taking forever. I was concerned over the pain Valerie seemed to be in. 

“Maman, maman,” I said as I grabbed my mom’s arm. “She’s in so much pain!”

“It’s ok tesoro,” she said to me calmly as the nurses checked her and put monitors in her and started an IV. “Once she’s settled just go and hold her hand and just keep her motivated. Ok?” I nodded. 

Once she was set I walked over and took her hand. “Hey,” I said smiling.

“Hey,” she said.

I rubbed her head. “Need anything?”

“Yeah, can you call my mom?” She asked me. “Let her know I’m here and tell her we’ll call her as soon as the babies have arrived.”

I nodded and walked outside the room. I had stored her mom’s number in my cell. In the last few weeks her and I had spoken and she would be arriving the first week of August for 10 days. I took a deep breath.

“Hello?”

“Pam! Good morning, it’s Elio!”

“Elio! Oh god! Are they coming!”

“Yes! We’re at the hospital now and she just got a room. Seems we’ll have babies in the next 12 hours,” I said. My voice broke with emotion. 

“Aw! How are you doing darling?” She asked.

Pam was wonderful. It was easy to see where Valerie got her easy going and caring nature from. Valerie had been honest with her and she knew about Oliver and I and I was relieved when Valerie told me she harbored no hard feelings towards me. It was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. The first time we had spoken she had told me to just take care of her daughter and grandchildren to best of my abilities and I told her I intended to. It had been a wonderful conversation.

“I’m so nervous and excited a happy. I’m so so happy,” I said.

“Wonderful. Now please, keep me updated Elio. Please. Call me in a couple of hours. Ok?”

“Ok,” I said. We said bye and hung up. I went back inside the room.

The funny feeling of time rushing and taking forever came back again. Nurses were in constantly checking Valerie’s progress. I went and spoke to Oliver and he told me Karen had been notified and the boys would be with her until further notice. He asked me if I was hungry and I said no but he got me food anyway. He then came and stayed in the room with Val and I a moment as my parents went and ate.

Once they returned my father came in and held Valerie’s hand a moment. When he asked her how she was, she said tired and my father said, “Ah that is the perpetual state of a parent, but you will be amazed at how much strength you get from these little ones.” Valerie smiled at his kind words.

I kept updating Pam and I grew more concerned of Valerie’s pain. Then her water broke and suddenly things seemed to be moving too fast. Although we hadn’t truly discussed it, I held on to Valerie’s hand and my mother stepped aside when a nurse came in and told Valerie it was time to push. It felt surreal. 

I listened to the nurse and she told Valerie to push while she counted to ten. Valerie did this several times. Then her doctor came in, she grinned at me and told me everything was going great. I nodded and kept encouraging Valerie along. “One more hard push!” The doctor told Val and I squeezed her hand as she pushed and suddenly I saw the doctor hold up a tiny little baby as a cry rang out in the room. “It’s a girl!” She said. I looked over at my mom. She had never looked happier.

Time stopped. I stared as she placed the little infant on Valerie’s chest. Valerie was crying and I looked at the dark hair on the tiny head. She was so tiny.

“Ok, mom! Come on, round two!” The doctor said and I was brought back to reality. Again, time rushed and yet things seemed to be going to slow. I held Valerie’s hand and kept looking over as the nurses cleaned my daughter up and wrapped her in a little blanket. My daughter. It felt strange to say it. “You’re doing great. One more push!”

“I can’t,” Valerie said crying. I looked down at her. 

I leaned down and kissed her forehead and wiped her tears. “Of course you can!” I said to her. She looked into my eyes. “You’re the strongest woman I know, of course you can!” I said to her. She nodded. The doctor counted for her as she pushed and soon enough she held up a second baby. “And here’s your little boy!” The doctor said as he too cried out. He was put on Valerie’s chest as well.

I watched as Valerie kissed his head in between tears. My mother was soon at her side. They took him and cleaned him up. “Go! Go hold your babies,” my mother said and I nodded and walked over to the nurses.

“They’re so adorable,” one said to me. I nodded and smiled. “They look identical! I love when we have twins!” She said.

She was right. The only difference I saw in their tiny faces and hands were the pink and baby blue hats. She put one in one arm and one in the other. I stared at them in amazement.

“What are their names?” Another nurse asked.

“Samuel and Sofia,” I replied. There was a chorus of aws from the nurses.

“Elio,” I heard my mom say. I turned and saw she had a camera. I grinned at her as she took a couple of pics. I walked over to Valerie.

“My babies,” she said. I nodded and grinned. I handed her Sofia first then Samuel. My mom snapped more photos. I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

“Thank you, Val,” I said. She looked up at me tears in her eyes.

“They feel amazing,” she said. I nodded. I leaned down and wrapped my arms around all three of them.

 

* * *

 

Valerie talked to her mom and the babies were taken to the nursery. I ran out and hugged my dad and Oliver. I walked them to the nursery to take a look at the babies. I pointed them out. My father hugged me and kissed me on the forehead. I looked up at Oliver and he looked down at me. I wanted to say so much and suddenly I didn’t even know what to say first.

“I know. When you held them the first time. The peace you feel,” Oliver said smiling at me. I nodded. “I know,” he said. “Everything feels right in the world.” 

I felt the tears come and he put his arm me. I turned and buried my face in his chest. I really didn’t care who saw. He held me tight a moment. When I had finally calmed down I looked up at him. His sparkling blue eyes looked... happy. He looked so happy. He couldn’t stop smiling. I grinned back at him.

“This is it,” I whispered. “This is the beginning of the rest of our lives.” 

He nodded. “I’m ready.” He said. We grinned and looked at the babies more. My mother showed up and Oliver hugged her warmly.

“How’s Val?” I asked.

“Getting some much needed sleep,” she said. I nodded. “Go eat please, Tesoro,” my mother said.

“Yes, come on,” Oliver said. I nodded. Oliver asked if there was anything he could bring back to her. My gaze went and fell on my babies again. They were so perfect. Finally, Oliver and I made our way to the elevator and we stepped inside. The moment the doors closed Oliver grabbed me and kissed me. Hard. I melted into his arms.

“I love you, Elio Perlman,” he whispered in my ear as he held me tightly. “I love you and need you and want you and thank you for making my life the best life it could be,” he said. I swallowed as my throat and chest tightened. We pulled back and I looked up into his eyes, speechless. “You are going to be the best father,” he said. I nodded. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you,” I said. I gave him one last quick kiss.

The elevator stopped and the doors open. We walked out of the lobby and out to the parking lot. We reached the van and stepped inside. Oliver looked at me. “Ready?” He asked.

I reached and squeezed his hand. I nodded. “Ready,” I replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: does anyone remember Armie saying he wanted a mini van on his Instagram a week or so ago? Thought I’d give him one!


	70. Some Time Alone

_Labor Day Weekend 1991_

 

I glanced over at Oliver as he held Sofia. I smiled. I had Samuel in my arms and we had just finished feeding them. The twins were six weeks old and when Oliver told me those 2 am or 3 am feeding were tough, he wasn’t kidding. They were fucking tough. I was so thankful for my mother being here. She was able to let Oliver and I sleep in when we needed it. Oliver too, of course, was a godsend.

I leaned my head back on my pillows. We were on our bed and the twins were falling sleep. We sat still. I reached over and put my hand, palm up, between us on the bed, Oliver gave me his and we held hands. I smiled at him. He normally fed and held Sofia. Not that he didn’t love Sam, he did. So much, but it was obvious Sofie had him wrapped around her pudgy little finger.

I remembered the first day Oliver and I had had the twins over night. They were only three days old, and Valerie had come home and I told her she should get a full night’s sleep. I remembered how Oliver has just melted when he said Sofie had smiled at him. And of course Oliver had also loved when my mother had pulled out a photo of me as a baby, she had brought of album of selected baby pictures of me with her, and Oliver saw the twins were the spitting image of me. Down to the curly dark hair and green eyes. They both had green eyes.

I had had two weeks off after the twins were born and now after Labor Day I was going to have a whole month. I decided to do this as both Oliver and Valerie were going back to campus. It made sense.

Oliver and I held hands and sat still until we saw the twins were breathing softly. We each got up and slowly laid their twins in their cribs. We then went and laid in bed, pulling each other close. 

“Mmmmm, feels so good,” Oliver said as he kissed me gently.

“It sure does,” I said. As I kissed him back. It did. I had never felt so complete.

Oliver and I drifted off to sleep for a moment. The pediatrician had told Valerie and I to sleep whenever the babies slept which was bullshit advice since they only slept a few hours at a time and again I was so happy for my mother to be here with me. 

A faint little cry woke us up. It was Sofia. Oliver jumped up and went to her. We always tried to calm whichever once woke first so as to not wake the other twin. He changed her a talked to her calmly and brought her over to the bed. He loved holding her till she fell sleep. I sleepily looked at him as he held her. I scooted over and laid my cheek on his left bicep. He was talking gently to Sofia.

“Wonder if she knows how spoiled she’ll be,” I said with a smile glancing up at him.

“Spoiled? What are you talking about?” He asked softly.

“The only girl win three brothers and two dads, not to mention the ONLY granddaughter... yeah nothing to spoil there,” I said.

“Nobody is spoiling her, she’s just our princess that’s all,” Oliver said and I grinned up at him.

 

* * *

 

The twins were in their swings as we were having dinner. I normal watched them as Oliver cooked. I wondered about when he would be home and both my mom and Pam were gone. I remembered how I had felt I didn’t want a nanny. I didn’t have one and I didn’t want a stranger raising our babies but now my views had changed slightly. I wondered how Oliver would do anything if both babies started crying. I figured I would talk to him and see if we could get someone to help. I wanted him relaxed and enjoying the twins, not to be so stressed he couldn’t even have time to play with them and enjoy them. They would only be this little once. 

Once he was done I went into the dining room and my mom walked in through the front door. She had gone to visit Val for a moment. 

“How are my loves?” She said as he came and hugged Oliver and I. She then went to the living room and I knew she was just gazing at the twins as they slept. She walked back into the kitchen and Oliver asked her if he could serve her. “Oh, no, no, Tesoro. You relax, I can get it myself.”

She sat with us and we chatted about the day. She then asked if we were doing anything for Labor Day weekend. “Sleep!” I said. Oliver laughed and nodded.

“Ah, you poor sweethearts! Why don’t you go out! Get a room in an nice hotel and let me watch the babies for a night!”

Oliver and I stared at her. “What?”

“Yeah! I will watch the babies! You two! Go out for dinner and get a room and enjoy! Oliver is about to go back to work and you’ll have even less time together,” she said.

Oliver and I looked at each other. “Date night?” I asked grinning.

“Absolutely, baby, yes,” he said grinning.

 

* * *

 

The next night Oliver and I showered and dressed and got ready to go. He had made reservations somewhere for dinner and a room for us to have some time alone in. I was excited and looking forward to it. I hugged and kissed my mom and kissed the twins. Oliver did the same. We then left.

Since it was just us we took my convertible. It was nice for us to be out. He had made reservations at a new Brazilian restaurant in Beverly Hills. They would come to your table and show you the meat they had on their rotisseries and you could choose what you wanted. I wasn’t surprised we ended up here, Oliver loved steak.

After a wonderful dinner, Oliver drove us to a gorgeous hotel in Beverly Hills. “Wow, look at this place,” I said.

Oliver grinned as we pulled in and a valet took my car. Oliver grabbed our overnight bag from the trunk. He checked in and we made our way to the elevator. The doors closed. 

“You went all out,” I said softly.

He gave me a nonchalant shrug. “Well, when you’re dating one of the best dressed men, you gotta step your game up,” he said.

I rolled my eyes and laughed at him. “We’re a bit more than dating,” I said looking at him sideways.

He grinned. “Figure of speech my love,” he said kissing my hand.

We reached our floor. I exited first but waited for him and then followed him to our room. He opened the door and I followed him inside. The place was spectacular. It was opulent but not overly done. It was great. I looked over the king size bed. I saw Oliver look around and drop the bag. I walked to him and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind. I loved his body. I had fallen in love with it when I was seventeen and I had never seen another body more perfect.  

Oliver laughed. He turned around and looked down at me. I looked up at him adoringly. “Elio,” Oliver said. 

“Yes?” I whispered looked up at him.

“I love you,” he said.

“And I love you, baby,” I replied.

He drew me closer and kissed tenderly. I walked back to the bed, gently pulling Oliver along with me. I turned and kissed him. He kissed me back. Our kisses became more intense and we started to undress each other.

“Mmmmm so gorgeous,” I had slipped his shirt off and went for his jeans.

He chuckled softly. “Look who’s talking,” he said in a sexy voice. “The sexiest man in the universe.”

He slid his jeans and boxers off and stood in front of me. Completely undressed and absolutely perfect. I reached for him and started stroking him. I loved everything about Oliver. I pushed him onto the bed and quickly took off my pants and boxers. I climbed on top of him. “I want you so bad,” I said. I did. I always wanted him, but at times the feeling was so urgent. The need so fervent. Like now.

I went to our bag and looked around, finding the lube. “Turn around,” I told him.He gave me a sexy smile and got on his hands and knees. I wasted no time and quickly climbed on the bed behind him. I leaned down and kissed along his lower back and then spread him and licked up and slid my tongue in him. He moaned and I felt the goosebumps on his skin. I licked and kissed and gently bit and sucked on his sensitive skin. I slid my tongue in and out of him and enjoyed all the sounds he made.

“Elio,” he would say as he moaned. It turned me on so much. I kept pleasing him and started stroking him as well. “Elio,” he kept saying. I loved it. I did this until I couldn’t wait any longer. I quickly put lube on myself and slid in him forcefully. I hadn’t had him this way in a while and it felt exhilarating.

I wanted to hold nothing back. I spread him open as I thrusted as deep as I could in him. “Oh fuck you feel so good,” I told him. I pushed his shoulders down until his chest was on the mattress and his hips up. I went as hard as I could. I needed this. “You like that?” I asked him. 

“I love it,” he replied breathlessly between groans.

“Good,” I said. My fingertips dug into his hips as I let myself go. I closed my eyes and focused on nothing else but how good his body felt around me as I thrusted in him roughly. “I fucking love you. So much,” I told him. “I love that you’re mine. Just mine.”

“Just yours,” he told me. It thrilled me to hear this. I would never get tired of it. I felt his body tensing.

“No. Not yet. No,” I told him. I thrusted in him harder still. I wanted it harder and deeper. I always felt like I could never ever get enough of Oliver. No matter how much of him I had I would always hunger for more. “Not yet,” I said again. 

I saw him nod. He was grabbing the pillows tightly, laying his cheek on them, face to one side. I loved the look on his face. I knew only I had had him like this. I knew I was the only one that had pleased him like this. “You’re all mine,” I said again. I loved how saying those words made me feel. “All mine,” I said, more to myself than to him.

I went for as long as I could. He could tell I was getting close and he started asking me to fill him with my released. He begged me. I came. Deep and forceful and so did he. I felt the orgasm over every single inch of my body. It felt amazing. I collapsed on him and he collapsed on the bed. We laid there panting for a while, unable to move.

Finally I rolled over. I went and grabbed a towel and came back to bed. I leaned over Oliver and kissed him gently as I cleaned up around him. I threw the towel to the floor and wrapped my arms around him, kissing him and caressing him. I felt so much at that moment. I held him and looked into his eyes. He smiled at me. I smiled back. “What?” I asked.

“You hadn’t done that in a while,” he said softly.

“I know,” I said. “My body needed it.” He chuckled softly. “Was it ok?”

“It was more than ok,” he said looking up at me with his sparkling blue eyes. “Lately, you had just been a lot more gentle and I just wondered if maybe it was because of how you were feeling with everything that was happening,” he said.

“What do you mean?” I asked as I stroked his cheek. 

“Well, since we had built the cribs you had been a lot more gentle and had been asking me to make love to you more and more. We were always gentle and loving and it had been that way till now. Just wondered if emotionally you were just in a different frame of mind.”

I thought about what he said. “Hmm, maybe?” I answers. We laughed. “Is that what you feel?” I ask. He shrugged. “So how about right now? How do you explain what just happened?” I asked.

He looked into my eyes and seemed to think a moment. “I always sort of felt you were dominant to... to get past the fact that I had, um... left,” he said softly. “And now that we were together I felt maybe it was your way of exerting your dominance and maybe showing me that I was yours. All yours. Just yours,” he said. I furrowed my brow and thought of it. I hadn’t quite thought about it before. “Even that first time, when you were just visiting,” he said. I looked at him. “I’ll never forget how hard you fucked me then,” he said with a smile.

I grinned. “You liked it though.”

“No I fucking loved it,” he said reaching up and kissing me. We rolled around the bed kissing and licking and gently biting each other. It felt amazing and soon enough we drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

I woke up with a start and sat up. I was about to get out of bed when I suddenly remembered we weren’t home and the twins weren’t here. I missed them so much suddenly. I looked and saw Oliver sleeping peacefully. I looked at my watch. It was 3:27 am. I laid back down. I wondered if they had been fed. My mother was home, I’m sure she had fed them. She would have our bedroom door open and her bedroom door open and if they cried she would be able to hear them and.. and.. and...

“Oliver. Oliver wake up,” I shook him gently. “Oliver, baby.”

“Hmm. Yeah? What’s wrong baby?”

“Can we, uh...” I looked around. “Can we go home?” I looked into his eyes.

“You want to go home?” He asked me. I nodded. “Are you missing the twins?” I nodded again. He smiled at me sweetly and kissed me. “Yeah, come on, let’s go.”

I quickly got up and we got dressed and got our bag and left. We checked out walked and were waiting at the valet when I looked at Oliver as he yawned and rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry,” I said. Our car came and I tipped the valet and we climbed inside. I took off.

“What are you sorry about? Missing our six week old babies?” He asked me with a sleepy smile.

“I’m sorry,” I said again, stopping at the red light. “Are you mad?” 

“No, Elio. I miss them too,” he said holding my hand.

I glanced at him. “When they’re with Valerie it’s one thing, I mean, they need to and have to spend time with their mother, you know?” I asked. “Just like Ben and Michael need to spend time with Karen,” I said.

“Yes,” Oliver replied.

“But tonight, I mean, we didn’t have to be away from them. I know, we need time alone,” I said. Another red light. I glanced at Oliver. “I know it’s important for us to have time -“

“Elio,” Oliver said softly. He caressed my cheek. “It’s ok. They’re tiny babies. I miss them too. We have forever together. They’re only babies once. I love you.”

“I love you,” I said smiling.

 

We reached home and he got the bag out. I went in through the front door and saw the light in our bedroom on. I walked down and my mom had Samuel in her arms. She looked up at us surprised.

“What are you doing here?” She asked softly. I grinned at her and went and picked Samuel up. It felt so good to be holding him.

“Well, we had a wonderful dinner and some time alone together,” Oliver said. “Then we missed the babies so now we’re back.” Oliver said. 

My mother and Oliver chatted a bit more as I held Samuel to me. He smelled so wonderful and felt so good in my arms. He looked up at me and I kissed his little nose. I walked over and saw Sofia was fast asleep. I rocked Samuel a bit more and I saw his little eyelids close and he laid still. I placed him gently in his crib. I looked around and saw Oliver wasn’t in the room. I walked out and found him and my mother in the kitchen having hot chocolate.

“Ah, papà, you had a moment didn’t you?” My mother said. I blushed and nodded.

Oliver came and wrapped his arms around me. “You’re so adorable. I love you,” he whispered and me and kissed my cheek.

“I love you,” I said and kissed him gently. My mother grabbed my hands and squeezed them. I felt super loved and happier than ever.


	71. Feeling Loved

The Tuesday after Labor Day weekend Oliver went back to work. The look on his face as he kissed the babies goodbye almost brought me to tears. 

“I’ve not held Samuel enough,” he told me after he had dressed, extending his arms out to me so I could give him Samuel.

“Baby, I just fed him,” I said as I was holding him. “What if he spits up on you?”

“I will be more than ok with telling anyone my baby spit up on me, come on, let me hold him.” I pressed my lips together to hold back the smile that was about to spread across my lips as I got up and handed him Samuel.

“Daddy is going to miss you so so much,” he whispered to Sam as he kissed his little nose. Sam looked up at Oliver and blinked. “I know baby. But your papà is gonna be here with you, taking good good care of you. I love you. So so much,” he said. He walked around for a while more and then, looking at his watch, knew he had to give him back to me. “I can come home on lunch,” he said.

“Baby, it’s ok,” I said as we leaned in and kissed. “My mom is here and Val only has the one lecture in the morning so she’s coming right after,” I said.

He nodded and sighed. He kissed me again.“Ok, I’ll see you later then. I love you.”

“I love you more,” I replied as he opened the door.

“Impossible,” He said giving me a sexy smile.

 

* * *

 

I had gone back to bed a couple of hours more and my angel of a mother came and got them and fed them and changed them for the day. All while I slept. We needed a nanny. I was silly to think it was a stranger raising the kids. No. It was us keeping our sanity.

Once I had gotten up I poured myself some coffee and my mother was sweet enough to make me an omelet. Once I ate I went and we fed the babies together. I took a deep breath in as I looked down at Sofia in my arms. “So I think we’ll need to hire a nanny,” I said. 

My mother nodded. “Two is very hard... plus also with Oliver writing his column, he needs time. You told me you need to start composing. That was the point of taking this month off. Your album has to be released by February.”

I nodded. “Yes,” I said.

“Maybe hire the nanny now. So I can meet her. Then Pam can meet her. Then she will be very well trained by the time we are both gone,” she said. 

I grinned at her. “I will talk to Oliver and pass the message,” I said.

She nodded and patted my knee. Sofia stirred and looked up at me. “Hello princess,” I said softly. She stuck her little bottom lip out. “Oh are you missing daddy?” I asked her. I leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Me too, princess. I miss daddy so much too,” I said. 

 

* * *

 

The twins were in their cribs sleep when the phone rang. I went and picked it up. It was Lindsey.

“Hey!” I said.

“Hey! I’m calling to let you know you will be recording your holiday album first week of October like you wanted. Also, your sophomore CD is schedule to be released no later than February so I hope you’re feeling inspired!” She said.

I laughed. “I am. Hey! I had a thought of maybe recording a children’s CD. Lullabies or just classical music for babies. What do you think?”

“Oh wow!!!! That sounds AMAZING Elio!! Yes!”

I grinned. “Glad you like the idea.”

“I love it. How are they?” She asked softly.

“Perfect. Amazing. Wonderful. Who the fuck needs sleep?” I said chuckling.

“Aw... I can’t wait to meet them!” She said.

“I can’t wait for you to meet them. I’m thinking though I’m gonna bend and hire a nanny by October. It’s a lot and Oliver needs to be able to write his column.”

“Oh. Ok. Ah.. Elio. You need to go through an agency used by celebrities. They will help you find a nanny and they can help in non disclosure agreements so that they won’t go and sell a story about you and your private life to the National Enquirer or something!”

I froze. “I’m not -“

“Ah... yeah you are, more than the average bear and... Elio. You’ve been private. So you want someone selling the story that you’re gay to some magazine?”

I clenched my fist. “No,” I said.

“Neither do I. Please, let me give to the number to the nanny agency. Please use them.”

“IF I get one. I still have to discuss it with Oliver,” I said.

“Of course,” she said. She gave me the number and I wrote it down. 

“Thanks Lindsay,” I said. We chatted a bit more and then hung up.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the week was a busy but wonderful and productive for me. The babies seemed to sleep a bit longer at nights now. Which was great but we still had one middle of the night feeding. Oliver always got up with me even though I told him I would take care of it. Most of the time I would have to get the baby he was holding from his arms as he was falling back sleep.

I would kiss the twins and put then get back in bed and pull Oliver to me and kiss him as he fell back sleep in my arms. It was a tiring but wonderful time. 

That Thursday Valerie came after her last lecture to pick up the twins. My mother was going to go with her and she was going to keep the twins until Sunday night. Oliver and I would go over to pick them up. We asked Valerie to join us for dinner and after all the thinking I had been doing the last couple of days I thought I would talk to them both since they were both here.

“So,” I said looking at Oliver then Valerie. “So, I was thinking maybe we should look into getting a nanny,” I said.

Oliver raised his eyebrows. “Really?” He said.

“Yeah, really,” I said. “I’m bringing it up now, with you here Val,” I said squeezing her hand. “Because I think it would be wise to have her go with the twins so we would ask her to go between our homes,” I said.

“Oh... that would be helpful,” Val said.

I nodded. I took a deep breath in. “So, I happen to mention to Lindsay that I was thinking of getting a nanny,” I said. “So she gave me the number to an agency where they a cater to celebrities or just people who you know want to keep their private life private, so as to make sure the nannies don’t go and like sell stories about the people hiring them,” I said softly.

“Oh ok. I mean, I understand. That makes sense,” Valerie said with a smile.

“Yeah it does,” Oliver said.

I looked at both of them, feeling some relief. “Ok. Good. I’m glad. I was worried... I may seem over the top,” I said glancing at them. They both smiled and Oliver reached over and squeezed my hand. I was glad they were both in my life.

 

* * *

 

Oliver and I undressed and crawled into bed. He kissed me. “So... no babies for three nights,” Oliver said.

“I know,” I whispered nestling into his arms. I kissed his neck. I caressed the stubble on his chin. I pulled him to me and kissed his lips.

“Mmmm.. I love your kisses,” he said.

“Good,” I whispered. I went to climb on top of him but be grabbed my wrists and got on top of me. He placed my wrists above my head, pinning my down. It was really sexy. “What are you doing?” I asked softly.

He leaned down and kissed me. Sliding his tongue in my mouth. We pulled apart, panting. “I want you,” he said as he looked down on me.

“And I always want you,” I said as we kissed again.

“I want you. Badly. Now,” he said. I looked up at him. I loved how he was looking at me.

“How bad?” I asked, panting. 

“So, so, so bad,” Oliver said as he bit my shoulder. I moaned. Oliver grabbed me and flipped me over. I laughed. “This is not funny,” he growled into my ear as he wrapped his arms around me. He slid his hand down my body and began to stroke me. I groaned and pushed my hips back into him. I felt his lips across my shoulder blades. His hands were all over me.

It felt wonderful. I closed my eyes and enjoyed how everything felt. I was panting and moaning. I felt him push me down onto the bed as he spread my legs open. I felt butterflies on my stomach. He still had such an amazing effect on me. I closed my eyes. Anticipating. Waiting. Soon enough I felt his warm, wet tip at my entrance. I moaned as he entered me. He was slow and gentle. He slid in deep, and stayed in as my body adjusted to him. He then started thrusting into me. He got harder and harder as he kept going.

I groaned as he went hard and fast. It felt good. His body felt amazing. His big strong hands on my hips, him, rough and forceful, yet always loving. “I love you so much,” came his voice. It was laden with emotion and arousal. It was such a turn on.

“I love you baby,” I said.

He was in complete control of my body. I was all his. He grunted as he thrusted in me. Harder still. The pain was delicious and sexy and exactly what I wanted. Needed. He was perfect for me in every way. “You’re all mine,” he groaned.

“All yours,” I responded.

He reached around me and started stroking me. I was close and came very quickly. He came right after I did. Holding me tight. It was amazing. I felt whole. I felt complete. And completely loved.


	72. Non Disclosure Agreement

I figured I would call the agency Lindsay had told me about and I gave them the specifics of what I was looking for in a nanny. They told me they would contact me in about a week. 

True to their word, they called me a week later and told me they had four potential applicants. I sat up interviews for the up coming Saturday, so Valerie and Oliver could be there. Saturday came and we talked to all the applicants. Once they were gone we were all happy to see we all liked the same person. Her name was Kelly and she was sweet and bubbly. She had a soft voice and I loved how she said she was extra excited when she found out it was twins.

“My two younger siblings are twins,” she told us. “A boy and girl just like yours. I was so excited when I saw it was for twins!”

I contacted the agency the following Monday to tell them of our decision and then called Kelly myself to let her know. She would come over the following day and start spending time with us this week to get accustomed to the twins and our hectic schedule. I had two weeks left before going back to work.

 

* * *

 

We were having dinner at home. I had gotten a new dining room table since the small one I had for four wasn’t big enough any more. Michael was talking to my mom and I had Ben beside me as he ate. Oliver had Samuel in his arms as he had just finished eating. I was about to go and grab Sofia. This was life. Hectic and happy.

The boys were very sweet with the twins. Michael said he couldn’t wait to play with them once they were bigger like Ben. I thought that was adorable. When I got up and got Sofia to feed her, Michael asked me if he could help and I said yes. My mother and I held his arms as I placed Sofia in them and held the bottle. Michael was extremely proud of himself.

After dinner, Michael finished up on the little bit of home work that he had and Ben and I went and spent some time in the piano. He was getting really good. I was so proud of him.

Oliver came in and sat with us a while, watching Ben and I. “I still don’t know where he got all that talent from,” Oliver said grinning at me. “It obviously wasn’t me.”

I laughed. “Maybe some great great uncle of yours was a pianist and you have no idea,” I said.

Once it was bedtime, Ben and Michael got baths and a couple of bedtime stories. We kissed them and tucked them into bed. We then went to the living room where the twins were in their swings with my mother. We kissed her goodnight as she made her way to her bedroom.

“Kelly will be here tomorrow,” I whispered.

He nodded. “Ok good. What kind of schedule were you thinking?”

I took a deep breath in and out. “I think the best would be for here to be here a bit later rather than earlier,” I said. Oliver nodded. “Especially when we have Ben and Michael. So we can make sure they’re not feeling as if we’re less available for them. You know?”

“Yeah,” Oliver said smiling at me and kissing me. “Thank you for being mindful of them.”

“Well we love the twins of course but they were here first and we have to be mindful of that,” I replied.

We kissed more and cuddled on the couch, spending some time together before we had to feed the twins and take them to their cribs.

Oliver kisses me more. He turned his body to face me better. He held my face in his hands and was very tender as he kissed me. I slid onto his lap, straddling him and wrapped my arms around his neck, our kisses deepening. I was so hungry for him. He slid his hands up my thighs and squeezed my ass through my jeans. I moaned. It felt great.

A little cry came from the swings. I closed my eyes and laid my forehead on his shoulder. I sighed. “Are you ever gonna have spontaneous sex again?” I asked chuckling.

Oliver laughed back as he lifted my chin so he could kiss me. “I’m sure... once they’re older. I’m sure... maybe.”

We laughed and I got up and got Samuel and Oliver got Sofia and we made our way to the kitchen to make them their bottles. Once they were made we walked to our bedroom and got on the bed as we fed them.

“Hi princess,” Oliver said as he cooed to Sofia. I looked over and smiled. He was so adorable with her. We whispered to each other as we fed the babies. He was telling me about his latest idea for his column. I smiled in admiration of him. He was so amazingly smart.We whispered a bit more and once the babies were done eating we held and rocked them gently. They fell sleep pretty quickly and we placed them in their cribs. We undressed and got in bed under the covers.

We pulled ourselves closer to each other and kissed silently. “I need you,” I said. He nodded. He reached for the lube and handed it to me. He turned onto his stomach. I climbed on top of him. I kissed all over his muscular back, caressing him softly with my hands. I slid into him gently. I lifted his hips slightly, so I could go in deeper. I pulled the covers on top of us.

I was as silent as I could be. So was he. It was harder than than I thought. I gently bit his back as I thrusted into him. I wrapped my arms around him. He felt so good we both silently panted, covered up in bed. I closed my eyes and enjoyed everything about him. His body felt so good. I reached around and wrapped my fingers around his erection. I would stroke down as I thrusted in. Our pants got quicker as we both got closer to orgasm. I stroked him faster as I thrusted in as fast as I could. I could just hear the soft moans he was trying to stifle. I loved it. I felt my body getting close to orgasm. I bit his back as I came.

It was wonderful. It saw all silent and all we felt was our bodies. Together, warm and sweaty under the comforter. I laid on him. I finally slid out as I softened. I was surprised when he grabbed me and pinned me down to the bed on my back. He held me tight. “My turn,” he whispered softly. He rubbed lube on himself and slid in me quite quickly. His turn. I was so turned on. He slid his arms under me and his strong fingers curled around my shoulders. He kissed me and kissed along my jaw as he thrusted into me. Again we were as silent as possible. Be panted as we clung to each other. After a while he came. We panted as we laid there, enjoying the moment.

We kissed softly. We finally let go of one another and Oliver got up to grab a towel. We cleaned up and pulled our boxers on. Oliver glanced at the twins sleeping peacefully as he walked back to bed. I smiled at him. He crawled back under the covers. “Who knew silent sex could be so hot,” he whispered to me. I grinned at him and we kissed before settling down and nestling into his arms.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Kelly was to come to the house at noon. Lindsay had dropped by in the morning and gone over the contract for Kelly’s hiring which included a non disclosure agreement. She asked me if I wanted her to be here when I presented it to Kelly but I told her I could do it. My mother was in the kitchen leaning against the kitchen counter as Lindsay and I talked. The babies were sleeping when she had dropped by and she told me she would drop by again sometimes soon to meet them and handed me some gifts for them. I thanked her and hugged her and walked her to her car.

When I came back in I found my mother in the living room, reading the newspaper. “Have you read Oliver’s last column?” She asked me. I nodded and smiled widely at her. She grinned. “He’s a wonderful writer. Just so you know, your father has had me clipping each and everyone because he plans to put them in an album. When I leave you are to clip them and mail them monthly to your father.”

This warmed my heart. “Of course,” I said.

“I’m sure he’s showing them off to all his friends as they come to lunch or dinner,” she said. I smiled and nodded. I knew this.

“I wish...” I drifted off. I shook my head. My mother met my gaze and I knew she knew what I was feeling.

“Let’s just hope things one day might change,” she said.

I nodded and was surprised when I felt hot tears at the corners of my eyes. I wiped them quickly. “I just love him. He loves me. I am not ashamed and yet -“

“And yet the world judges,” my mother said. She pulled me to her and I laid my head on her shoulder as she held me. “Be strong Tesoro,” she said softly to me. “Hopefully, as time goes by one day you don’t have to worry about non disclosure agreements,” she said.

I closed my eyes and felt the tears flow down my face. My mother held me for a while until I finally sat up and wiped my eyes. She handed me some tissues. She grabbed my chin and kissed my cheek. “I felt ridiculous as Lindsay talked about it,” I said looking at my mother. I wanted to know what she felt.

She shook her head. “No, don’t,” she said. “Also, even if you were with Valerie, I believe it isn’t a bad idea this non disclosure thing,” she said.

I looked at her surprised. “Really?” I asked. My voice was still shaky.

“Si, tesoro,” she told me. “You have worked hard and have had these interviews and people ask you for autographs. People know you and not everyone is a good person, that is the sad reality. Now we’re dealing with your babies and nothing is more precious.” She smiled at me and patted my hands. “Always look to protect yourself and your family. Nothing is foolish when it comes to the well-being of those precious children.”

I nodded and felt better. She was right. It wasn’t like I had a dirty little secret I didn’t want anyone to know, I had a right to privacy, regardless my line of work. I was glad my mother pointed this out to me. We went and got the twins. We fed them and changed them and and brought them out to the their swings.

“So when will they move more?” I asked my mom.

She laughed. “Around four months, you’ll want to have a nice soft blanket and put them on their tummy on the floor,” she said.

“On their stomachs?” I asked.

“Yes. That will help make their arms and little bodies strong. Around six months they should start to learn how to roll over. And around nine months they’ll be able to sit up without your help, and crawling will come soon after that,” she said.

I grinned as I thought about it. “And walking around one?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said. “I will have to come next summer and every summer to celebrate their birthdays,” she said.

“Oui! Maman! I’d love that!” I said excitedly. She smiled and hugged me. I was so happy she was here. It was the best feeling ever.

 

* * *

 

Kelly was punctual, which I appreciated greatly. I was glad the twins were awake when she came by. I went to the door and greeted her. She stuck her hand out to me. “Good afternoon Mr. Perlman,” she said.

“Please, call me Elio,” I said stepping aside. “Come on in.”

“Thank you so much!” She said stepping in. “Hello!” She greeted my mother warmly.

“Kelly you remember my mom,” I said. We had all been home as we had interviewed everyone. Kelly had shoulder length straight blond hair and blue eyes. She had a warm golden glow, courtesy of the Southern California sun. Her application said she was 21 and the agency she came from had listed the training she had gone through. She was also certified in infant CPR. I felt comfortable having her at home.

“Yes! Mrs. Perlman, how are you?” She asked.

“Please, Annella,” my mother said with a warm smile. Kelly nodded and smiled.

“The twins are awake right now,” I said.

“Oh! Yay! I’m dying to meet them,” she said. We walked over to the living room where they were in their swings. “Oh my goodness! Look at these precious babies!” She said. “Let me go wash my hands before I pick them up!” She said and quickly jogged to the kitchen. My mother gave me a pleased smile.

Kelly came back and took Sofie out first. We all chatted and my mother held Samuel. After a moment they switched. Soon came time for them to be fed and Kelly did it all effortlessly. Any apprehension I had practically faded away. I showed her where their cribs were. “No rocker?” She asked.

“No,” I said. “Oliver and I normal sit in bed and feed them,” I said. “But you will have a rocker tomorrow,” I said.

“Thank you,” she said with a sweet smile. “I’m sure your bed is awesome for you both, especially middle of night but...”

I chuckled. “I get it,” I said.

She laid the twins in their cribs and gently soothed them. I walked out of the room and joined my mother to ask her what she thought. My mother said she liked what she saw and about 20 minutes later Kelly came out of the room. “Sound sleep,” she said with a smile.

Kelly told us a bit more about herself. She was born and raised in Orange County. She said she was the oldest of three and told us about her younger twin brother and sister who were 16 now. “I just love children and out of high school I found out about the agency. It just seemed like a dream job!” She said.

I liked how sweet and bubbly she was. The door opened and Oliver walked through the door with Ben and Michael. I got up and went to greet him. I kissed him and the boys ran to my mother and Kelly greeted them warmly. Oliver walked over to the living room and Kelly greeted him.

“Hi, Kelly, just Oliver is fine,” he said with a smile.

“My dad loves your column by the way,” she said. I grinned at him.

“Oh! Thank you!” He said.

I asked Kelly for a moment and I pulled Oliver to the kitchen. I let him read the contract Lindsey had drafted. Once he was finished he nodded and we called Kelly to the kitchen and sat at the dining room table.

“Ok, Kelly so, we really like you and would love to hire you,” I said. I showed her the contract. “So this is a one year contract,” I said. She nodded as she looked the paper over. “This is your salary for the year,” I said. She smiled and nodded. “So we will more than likely give you the weekends off. My schedule with the orchestra is given to me a couple of months in advance so if we ever need you on the weekends you’ll be made aware of it weeks in advance. If you ever need time off, I ask that you give us at least a couple of weeks notice. I know holidays are coming up and obviously days like thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year’s Eve you’ll be off to spend with your family,” I said.

“Ok, great,” she said.

“Valerie, who you met, the twins mom lives nearby and we’ll ask that you to spend time at her home as well,” I said. “You and I will be there Friday with her and you can get to know her and her home better,” I said.

“Ok, looking forward to it.” She said.

I took a deep breath in. I glanced at Oliver. “Then there is the non disclosure part,” I said.

“Yes,” she said to me with a warm smile.

“Obviously we ask that you not discuss any aspect of our private lives with anyone, you’re not allowed to take pictures of our home or our children at anytime or with intent to sell them, also you are not to speak to anyone and make a profit out of sharing personal details to anyone at any time,” I said. I let out a breath. Oliver took my hand. “And of course any time you break the agreement will result in us suing you for up to $500,0000.”

“I understand and I won’t,” Kelly said with a smile.

“I value my privacy and my family’s privacy,” I said. “I’m placing a great deal of trust on you. We all are,” I said.

“Thank you and I understand and I will value your privacy as if it is my own,” she said.

“And if for some reason it wasn’t clear before, then I will make it clear now,” Oliver said in a calm vice. “Elio and I are in a romantic relationship so if you have any problems with that, now is the chance to speak up.”

“No problem at all,” she said with a smile. “My uncle is with someone of the same sex and no one in my family cares so,” she said with a shrug. “Plus I came to help with some babies, who are just gorgeous, by the way,” she said with a wonderful smile.

Oliver and I smiled back. “Thank you,” he said.

“Every other week we also have our other two sons, Ben and Michael, who you just met,” I said. “So you’ll get to meet them but your priority will be the twins,” I said.

“Great!” She said. “Where do I sign?” She asked excitedly. Oliver and I glanced at one another and smiled as Kelly signed the contract. Oliver and I then signed it ourselves as well as her copy. We all stood up. “Thank you! I’m really looking forward to the next year,” she said.

“We are too! Thank you!” I said, shaking her hand.

“We appreciate you so much, thank you,” Oliver said as he shook her hand as well.

We walked her to the front door and said we would see her tomorrow again at noon. We watched her walk to her car. A tan Jeep. She got in and we waved as she drove off.

We closed the front door and Oliver and I looked at each other and grinned. “Well if she’s like that every day...” I said trailing off.

“That would be amazing!” Oliver said. We hugged and he gave me a long, sweet kiss. “I love you,” he said. 

I looked up into his eyes. “I love you,” I said.

“And these two little babies love you both,” my mother’s voice came from the hallway. She had one baby in each arm and Oliver and I walked forward to take one each. Ben and Michael ran over and Michael said he wanted to help feed the babies. I said ok. We all walked to the kitchen and started getting ready for dinner.


	73. Musical Inspiration

Kelly came the next day and I let her take over. She spent time with the twins and then fed them and put them to bed. I drove to Toni’s and Alex’s house to say hi and to use their piano for a couple of hours. 

“I’ll wake the twins if I’m playing,” I said. Toni smiled and watched me as I composed. I amazingly got three songs down on paper.

“Elio! They’re beautiful!” She said to me as I played them for her.

“I’ve just been so inspired since I had the twins,” I said. “Inspired about life and love and happiness,” I grinned at her as she sat beside me on the bench.

“Play the second one again please,” she said.

I did as she asked. I saw as she closed her eyes and listened. She clapped when I finished. “You like it?”

“God it’s gorgeous! It’s inspiring!”

I stayed for almost three hours and then went back home. I made it before Oliver and the boys were home which I was happy about. I asked Kelly to stay for dinner with us and she said it would be no problem. I then asked her to come the next day at 9 am.

She did as I asked and I went over to Toni’s again. Alex was home this time. I stayed almost all day, having lunch with them and Kelly called me twice while the babies were napping to fill me in on how they were. By the time I left that day at around 3 pm, combined with what I had written yesterday I had nine songs composed and pretty much ready to be recorded. I was happy and proud and amazed at how quickly it was all coming together.

I thanked Toni and Alex for their hospitality. “So you mentioned house hunting, when will that happen?”

“Well originally I wanted to be in the new place before the twins came but that didn’t happen,” I saw as they walked me to the door. “Now, well, Oliver will be home the second half of the school year so I for sure want to be in our place before he goes back,” I said.

“Ok, hold on,” Alex said and walked off but came back quickly. “This is the realtor we worked with,” she said. “He’s absolutely amazing and I think he’s someone you may wanna talk to!”

“Thanks so much!” I said. I hugged them both and then Alex ran off again and came back with two gift bags, one pink one baby blue. “Aw you didn’t have to!” I said.

“Oh but I so wanted to, you kidding!” She said. “I can’t wait to meet them. I wonder if those babies have any idea how much they’re loved!” She said. Her smile was so sweet and her words melted my heart.

“That’s all I ever want. For my children to know how incredibly loved they are in every single way,” I said.

“Oh they’ll know, Elio,” Toni said rubbing my back. “I’m so very happy for you and Oliver.”

I hugged them both and thanked them profusely and told them I owed them one and I took off for home.

I made it home before Oliver and the boys again. Kelly was in the living room chatting with my mom. They each had a baby on their lap and it seemed as if they were playing and singing with them. “That’s so very pretty!” I heard Kelly say as I walked in. They both greeted me warmly. 

“Hello, hello!” I said. I took off my light jacket and walked my music to the sunroom. I walked back to the living room and sat on the couch. I looked at my mom and Kelly and opened up both my arms. “Give them both to me!” I said. They both laughed and put a twin in each arm. “Oh, come to papà!” I said as I pulled them close to me. Samuel giggled and I looked his way and laughed. “Hey! First giggle ever!” I said and my mom and Kelly laughed excitedly.

Oliver and the boys came home. “Hey!” I said, truly unable to get up since I had the twins on me.

“Oliver! Oliver come! Listen little Samuel is laughing!” My mother said.

Michael proceeded to make funny faces at Sam and he giggled his little baby giggle and of course Oliver and my mother and Kelly and myself laughed along with him. Ben laughed because everyone else was and Michael laughed in a very loud and exaggerated manner since he was the little comedian that had made Samuel laugh. The whole living room was loud and lively until Sofia started to cry.

“Oh, no, Princess!” Oliver said as he came and picked her up. “Ok, it got too noisy for her. I’ll take her to the bedroom a minute,” he said. He held her and was talking to her soothingly as he walked down the hallway with her. Ben and Michael started playing around the living room and Samuel followed them with his eyes and smiled and would giggle every so often. It was wonderful of course.

After a while Oliver came back with Sofia. She was calm now and when my mom tried to get her from Oliver she stuck her bottom lip out and leaned into Oliver. None of us had ever seen her do that and as much as Oliver loved my mom I knew he loved the fact that Sofia wanted to stay with him even more.

“Oh! I’m sorry, you stay with your daddy then!” My mom said and rubbed Oliver’s arm. He carried her around and my mom went into the kitchen and started with dinner. Michael went to the dining room table and started on his homework and Ben asked to watch Superman.

“Kelly can you stay for dinner?” I asked. “Valerie is coming to pick up the twins tonight for the weekend,” I said.

“Yes, thank you! I’d love to,” she said and she went into the kitchen with my mom.

Oliver and I sat in the couch with the twins, he reached over and held my hand. He smiled at one another. “How did it go today at Toni’s?”

“Incredible. With the the three songs I composed yesterday and the ones today I have nine songs ready to be recorded,” I told him.

“Wow! Baby that’s amazing! And so fast!” He said with a gorgeous grin on his face.

I grinned back. “Well I’ve been hearing music in my head since the twins came,” I said. “Them. You. Us. I’m so inspired.”

Oliver squeezed my hand. “That’s beautiful,” he said. “I’m so happy your family inspires you.”

“It does, in so many ways. And that means Ben and Michael too,” I told him.

“I know,” he said. He lifted my hand and kissed it.

 

* * *

 

The following day, my mother and I went to Valerie’s around 11 in the morning. Kelly was to arrive at noon. I went and checked on the twins and chatted with Valerie for a while.

“So you’re doing enough classes?” I asked her.

“Yes!” She said. “I was lucky that I could get Friday’s completely off. Next semester I’ll again try to get the Friday off if not Monday so I can have the twins at least for three nights. I miss them so so much,” she said.

“Oh, I know,” I said, putting my arm around her shoulder. 

Kelly was punctual as always and once I knew they were settled I took off. I had promised to meet with David and talk not only about the holiday album I was recording in a couple of weeks but he wanted to hear some of the new material I had composed. I took off for Hollywood.

Once I had reached the studio I went in and sat down with him. He handed me a list of songs he had thought of using for the holiday album. I sat on the piano and we talked about some new arrangements to bring new life to some classic holiday songs. We recorded a few ideas so we could go back for reference when the day came to record. He then asked to hear some new material and I played him the song that Toni had liked so much and a sampling of about three others.

“That’s really good stuff,” he said.

“Thank you,” I told him.

“How many songs do you have?”

“Completely composed and ready to record, nine but I have the melody for at least five more which I’ll put down on paper next week,” I said.

“Awesome,” He said.

“I also have two things I wanted to discuss with you,” I said.

“Shoot,” he answered.

“I have a friend Toni, she’s a cellist with the orchestra and I really like her. I wanted to maybe have her on one of my songs,” I said. 

“Yeah, I don’t see why not. Could be a good idea. Does she have an agent?”

“Don’t think so, but if she comes on board I could have her talk to Lindsay,” I said.

“Yeah sound good,” he answered.

“Also,” I said, looking at him with a smile. “I was thinking of recording an album for children. Maybe lullabies or some more gentle arrangements of classic for young children.”

David’s eyes widened. “Yes!” He said. “Yes! I’m beginning to notice that stuff like that is becoming more and more popular. Maybe your cellist friend may want to join you with that? Can you imagine Brahms Lullaby being played with cello and piano?” He asked me.

I laughed and nodded. I was happy he liked the idea. After talking for another half hour or so, I was ready to go.

“By the way, you were amazing at the Tony’s,” he said. “And I wanted to give you the phone number of a friend of mine who is looking for someone to maybe help him with the soundtrack to a movie he’s involved him,” he told me with a smile.

“Oh, awesome, thanks, I’ll give them a call,” I said.

We gave each other a friendly hug and pat on the back and I took off. I looked at the time and saw it was still early. I drove to UCLA and sat in at the end of one of Oliver’s lectures. I had never done this. I grinned as I heard him talk. He looked so handsome and I looked around at all the faces of the students and they were just engrossed in all he was saying. Once the lecture was over I walked down to where he was gathering his papers. He looked up quickly and then did a double take when he noticed it was me.

“Hey!” He said looking happy and surprised. He came around and kissed me. “Don’t look so shocked,” he said. “No ones here right now and they can’t see us from the outside.” I laughed. “So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?” He asked.

“I went to the recording studio and talked to David and I saw I had time to come say hi,” I said.

He grinned at me. “Hi,” he said in a sexy voice.

I grinned back at him. “You look so sexy,” I whispered. He raised his eye brows at me. “This whole professor thing really suits you.”

He laughed and kissed me again. He caressed my cheek. “Thank you, my love.”

I gave him another kiss. “So, I thought I’d come and swap out cars, and I can go get Ben and Michael,” I said.

“Oh yeah?” He asked.

“Yeah it’s Friday and maybe we can take them out for dinner. I wanna make sure they get enough attention. I know the twins take up so much of our time,” I said.

“Yeah,” he said giving me a perfect smile. “That’s sweet of you. Yes, I think they’d love that,” he said. We exchanged car keys.

“Ok. I parked right beside your van, I put the top up. Please pick my mom up at Valerie’s before going home,” I said. He nodded. “And I’ll meet you at home?”

“Yeah,” he said. I heard the door open and I saw a group of students walk in. 

“Well, I’ll let you get back to work,” I whispered.

“Ok. See you in a bit,” he said.

“Yup,” I said and turned and started making my way out of the lecture hall. I gave a quick look back and saw him shuffling papers around. I grinned to myself and walked out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always loved the scene in Ghost Spots in the book where Elio shows up at one of Oliver’s lectures... except they didn’t kiss and I wanted them too... so now I’m happy!! <3


	74. I Remember Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had one of those moments where something in the book touched me but I wanted it happier...  
> Enjoy!  
> <3

I picked up Ben and Michael at school. Ben has started pre-K that year. I strapped them into their seats and made my way home. 

“So what if daddy and I take you guys out to eat? Where do you want to eat?” I asked them.

“Can we go to Disneyland?” Ben asked.

I laughed. “Maybe on a day you don’t have school Benny Boy,” I said. “Michael, any suggestions?”

“What about Baskin Robbins?” He said.

I laughed. “We can go after we eat dinner but I don’t think it’s a good idea to just eat ice cream for dinner,” I said.

I was no closer to decided on where to go when we made it home. They ran through the front door the moment I opened it and ran to jump on Oliver and my mom.

“I tried to ask where they want to go eat at, but...”

Oliver laughed. “Yeah, no. Nice try,” he said grinning up at me. “Let just drive down to the beach and we’ll go eat somewhere there,” he suggested.

He went and changed since he was still in his professor clothes and we got in the van and drove down to the Santa Monica Pier. Once there we got hotdogs from a vendor and then went to the Baskin Robbins close by. We walked around a bit and Michael wanted a baseball cap with Bugs Bunny on it. Ben only wanted a balloon. The sun had almost set by the time we took off for home. Ben fell sleep on the ride back.

Once home, Oliver gave Michael a bath while I wiped Ben’s hands, feet and face clean before changing him into his pj’s as he was in a half awake half sleep state. Once he curled up on his side with his Superman he was out. Oliver took Michael to our bed to read to him and I walked in as they started the second story. I read this one to him.

Oliver then took him to kiss and hug my mom good night and then took him to his bed. He then came back to our room as I was changing out of my clothes.

“And thus ends another day,” he said with a smile.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you writing much these last few days,” I said.

He nodded. “I’ve been writing on my lunch at work. It’s sometimes a bit less hectic there than here,” he said. I grinned as I saw he looked slightly guilty saying it. “I mean when it’s just the twins I have more time but when it’s all four...”

I nodded. “I know,” I whispered. He laughed. He came to me and kissed my forehead as he started to undress. We walked over and climbed on the bed.

He quickly rolled on top of me and kissed me hard. “We don’t have to be that silent tonight,” he said. I grinned.

He slid down my body, taking his time to kiss and gently suck my skin. I swear it was like I became over sensitive when he would kiss and touch me. My body became hyper aware or his hands and mouth. Even his breath on my skin gave me such incredible sensations. He hadn’t shaved in a few day and his stubble was really coming in and as he slid down my body, his stubble felt as if it was leaving a trail of fire. It felt so intense.

He kissed across my lower abdomen. He grabbed my knees, bent them and spread them and threw my legs over his shoulders. He grabbed my wrist and pinned them down to my sides. He was in complete control of me. I was so turned on. He slid me in his mouth and started sucking. Gently at first and then more and more intense. I wrapped my fingers around his wrists. I dug my finger tips in. I moaned and arched my back. He was so good at pleasing me.

I felt his tongue swirl around me. I groaned and bucked my hips up involuntary. It felt amazing. He slid me out and I felt him kissing down my inner thigh. There was a gentle kiss and then a bite. It wasn’t hard, but it was hard enough that I jumped. I heard him chuckle and he kissed the spot. I grinned as I looked down and saw him slide me into his mouth again. The warmth and wetness was glorious.

I loved how he moaned as he sucked me. He held my wrists tight and as it was getting more intense he pinned me in place. He slid me deep into his mouth and sucked me relentlessly till I came. I had to clench my jaw to not cry out too loud as I came. He finally released me and kissed and caressed my torso all over. Once I had finally caught my breath I pulled him up to me.

“You’ve been -“ I started saying.

“More forceful? Hornier? Rougher?” He asked with a huge grin on his face.

My eyes widened. “So it’s a conscious change?” I asked. “What gives?”

“Huh... conscious change? Not sure if that’s the best way to describe it,” he said softly. He leaned down and kissed me. “You know I always want you,” he said in a low sexy voice.

“Yes,” I whispered. I wrapped my arms around him and I felt him rub his erection on my thigh. 

“You also know I think you are perfect and amazing and overall the best person I’ve ever met,” he said.

I laughed. “Yes,” I said grinning.

“But now...” he said whispering as he looked into my eyes. I loved the intensity of his gaze. “Now you’re a father and we have the twins and I love them so much and when I see them I see you and it’s like...” he closed his eye. I felt my throat tighten up with emotion. “It’s like I already felt so grateful life gave me you and now you’ve given me Sofia and Sam and it’s like two more pieces of you to love. And I couldn’t be more grateful,” he said. 

I felt my face heat up as I blushed. I felt the burning go down my neck. I was speechless. I opened my mouth but then closed it again. I didn’t know what to say.

He noticed and grinned. “So I’m waking up each day feeling grateful. Content. Complete. And it’s all because of you,” he said as he caressed my face. “All because of you. And I just love you so much and want you so much and need you so much baby,” he said as he started kissing me again. I closed my eyes. His erection rubbing on my body and dripping onto my hip. I started panting. My whole body felt hot, feverish almost.

“And I can’t help myself. I just want and want and need and need, so, so bad,” he said and then his lips engulfed mine. It was almost hard to breath and he had a tight hold on me. I felt him reach down and slide his right arm under my left leg as he pulled me down on the bed. He grabbed the lube and quickly slid in me. 

“Oh fuck,” I said softly in a low moan as he entered me.

“Is it alright baby?” He asked me looking into my eyes. I stayed still because I wasn’t sure what he was asking me. “Is it alright that I have to have you this much? Like this?” He asked as he started thrusting into me.

He was going in deep and I put my hands on his chest as I moaned and felt almost emotionally overwhelmed by all his passion.

“Is it alright that I need to you so badly?” He asked me again.

I could only moan in reply. My body almost didn’t feel my own as he was so in control of me at the moment.

“When you had to be in control, was it a rush? Was it almost unbelievable when I submitted? And then, when I did, was it like a high? Did it leave you euphoric for days?” He asked staring right into my eyes. 

“Yes,” I whispered softly as I nodded. 

“Oh god I know,” he said sliding his arms under me, fingers wrapping around my shoulders and holding me tight to him. “Submit to me, please,” he said breathlessly. “Open yourself up completely, please,” he pleaded into my right ear. His voice was so hypnotic. “Let me in. Let me in, in every single way, please,” he said and I truly let myself go. 

I truly gave in and let him dominate me, mind body and soul. I thought I had done this years ago when I had let him take my virginity, but I saw now, I had never truly let him dominate me fully. Not like how he had given himself to me countless times since we had reunited. It was freeing. It was empowering. It was amazing how giving my power up to him made me feel powerful, I didn’t know how, but it did.

Maybe it was because I knew, without a shadow of a doubt that only I could give him what he desperately wanted, as what he yearned for was me. It wasn’t just my body or the pleasure my body was giving him. It was me, completely submitting myself to him and letting him know I was home and he belonged here, with me.

“Oliver,” he whispered to me and I felt myself melt deeper into his arms.

“Elio,” I whispered back. I laid my body and soul bare to him.

“Oliver,” he whispered again as his body ravaged me in the most amazing way and he pulled me tighter into his chest.

“Elio,” I said, barely audible and breathless as he showed no signs of relenting.

He buried his face in my neck and I heard his moans and whispered cries as he thrusted into me with an intensity I had never felt before. He then somehow tighten his grip around me and I felt his teeth at my shoulder. I then heard him right at my ear, his lip grazing my skin as he came. He made me come instantly, again, which surprised me, even.

We laid there. Panting. A hot, sweaty, mess between the sheets. It almost felt surreal. Was this really happening? Was this type of love truly real? Was it truly possible to be this happy? This in love? This in lust? And have the person you feel that for feel it all back?

I stared up at him and it was as if my seventeen year old self was staring up at him after the first time he had had me. 

He stared down at me. I had often wondered in the years in between if that night was a constant memory of his. If he knew I had given him all I had back then, just as I had now given him all I had right now. Maybe it felt more intense now because I was older and more aware of what I was doing and maybe also because I had more to give. But, still, in the years that followed I always wondered if he remembered how I had looked at him right after our first time. I had never been that open or vulnerable and had never been again until right now. I knew I was looking up at him in the exact same way. Did he...?

“Elio,” I whispered to him as I caressed his face. “Elio, Elio, Elio...”

“Oliver...” He said in a breathless whisper as he leaned down and gave me the softest of kisses. He took my face in his hands and looked right into my eye. “I remember _everything_.”


	75. À Plus Tard

Karen came and picked up the boys the following Saturday and my mom went to spend the weekend with Valerie and suddenly Oliver and I had a weekend at alone. I had woken up earlier than Oliver to see my mom off. Once the boys had breakfast I changed them and got their bags ready. Oliver was sleeping in and I was more than happy to let him. 

It was almost time for him to wake up so I let the boys go into the bedroom to say bye. The jumped on the bed and yelled “Bye Daddy!” over and over again. Oliver hugged them and kissed them. The doorbell rang and I told him I had the boys and walked them out to greet Karen. We said hi and she asked about the twins. I gushed over them. I realized now why parents talked about their kids so much. I wanted to tell the whole world about every single thing they did.

Once I had hugged Karen and the boys goodbye I went back to the bedroom and peeked in and saw Oliver had fallen back sleep. I closed the door gently and went to the sunroom and started composing. I was full of inspiration. I jotted a song down really quickly. I was almost done with the second when I felt lips on my neck.

“Hey baby,” he said.

“Hey handsome,” I said turning my head and meeting his lips.

“Whatever you’re playing sounds wonderful,” he said.

“Ah... I’m not surprised you love it. Sit down let me play you it,” I said.

He sat beside me and stayed out my way as I played the song that had been playing in my head for weeks and weeks. It felt wonderful to finally hear it come to life. My fingers flew over the keys effortlessly. Once it was done I looked over at Oliver and his face said it all. “You like it?” I asked softly.

“I love it, Elio,” he said.

“I knew you would,” I said, bumping his shoulder with mine and picking up the pencil I had been writing my music with.

“What’s it called?” He asked me softly.

I looked into his beautiful blue eyes. “Home,” I said.

 

I composed for a while longer until my hunger got the best of me. I smelled food coming from the kitchen, I got up and went and saw Oliver had cooked for us. We pulled out some wine. We held hands and chatted and enjoyed our late lunch or early dinner, whatever we wanted to call it.

Once we were done eating I went back to the piano and finished the song I was working on. After Oliver had finished cleaning up the kitchen, he came to the sunroom.

“How many songs have you written?” He asked me.

“Four,” I said. “Well, I’ve gotten four down on paper plus the nine before so thirteen so far in total,” I said feeling pretty proud.

“That is amazing baby,” he said. He let me finish up the song I was writing down. 

“Ok, all done,” I said turning on the bench and looking at him.

He grinned and walked to me and took my hands. He pulled me out the sunroom and into our bedroom.I grinned back at him. Once we were inside he pulled me in for a kiss. We started undressing quickly.

“It’s my turn,” I said panting.

“Oh really?” He said panting and laughing.

“Yes, really,” I said said with a huge smile on my face. I threw myself on him, wrapping my arms and legs around him. Oliver laughed and carried me to the bed. We fell onto it and I climbed on top of him. “I love you,” I said softly.

“And I love you baby,” Oliver replied softly.

 

* * *

 

The following weeks were wonderfully productive. Everyone felt the relief of having Kelly in the picture. I ended up composing six more songs before my time off was up, bringing my total to 19 and more than enough for my album in February. I went back to work the beginning of October. Second week of the month I went into the recording studio and recorded my holiday album. Toni joined me and played cello for a couple of songs.

It was hectic as I was back doing five concerts a week and Oliver was back at full time, but with my mom still with us and Kelly helping it was all made possible. The month seemed to fly by and before we knew it, it was Halloween. We were all surprised when both Ben and Michael decided to dress up as Ninja Turtles. We dressed Sofia and Samuel up as pumpkins and it was incredibly adorable. My mother took a million and one pictures until finally Sofia seemed to get tired of it all and started crying. Oliver ran to her rescue, picked her up and started consoling her.

“Oh, Elio,” my mother said looking at Oliver walking around consoling Sofia.

“I know,” I said grinning back at her. “It’s adorable isn’t it?”

“It’s beautiful,” she said.

 

From November first I felt a bit of heaviness on my chest. I knew it was the last month my mother would spend with us and it made me so incredibly sad. Having her with us had been great. I tried to spend as much time with her as possible, but of course it could never be enough. The last week of her being with us, we took a fluffy blanket and put the babies on their stomach on the floor for a while.

“Oh poor babies,” I said looking at them struggling to push themselves up. 

My mother laughed. “They’re ok. They’ll get stronger,” she told me.

I took a deep breath in. “I’m going to miss you so much,” I said.

“I will too, Tesoro, and these babies,” she said caressing their heads. She glanced my way. “But you can always call and you have Oliver and Valerie and Kelly,” she told me.

“None of them are you,” I was pursing my lips together and realizing I was probably sounding childish but didn’t really care.

“I know darling,” she said taking my hands and leaning over and giving me a kiss on the forehead.

We had thanksgiving a couple of days later which meant that it was the beginning of Oliver’s holidays. All he had to do now was grade his exams and then he would be off for until his planned return to UCLA the following year in September. 

 

The day came and it was time for my mom to go home. She had hugged Ben and Michael good bye the night before and told them she was going back home but would come and visit. I had the day off, of course, and my mom took her time to hug the twins all morning. Kelly was there to watch them and we made the somber drive to LAX. 

I had told myself I would be a grown up and not get emotional but that all went out the window when the moment came. I started silently crying when we got to her terminal. She held my hands and consoled me the whole time while Oliver rubbed my back.

When she had to board it didn’t get any easier. I held her as tight as I could. “Merci. Je t’aime.” I held her as long as I could until she had to go.

She hugged and gave Oliver a kiss on the cheek. “Call me and send me pictures of the babies. They’ll look so different when I come back,” she said.

I nodded and wasn’t able to say much back. She waved at us and went to the counter and I saw her hand them her ticket and passport. She looked back, waved and blew us a kiss. I waved back and when she was out of sight I turned and pressed my face on Oliver’s chest and cried.

 

* * *

 

Oliver had driven home, holding my hand. Once I got home Kelly noticed my state but said nothing, which I was grateful for. She knew my mother had left.

I was as composed as I could be for dinner. Michael gave me a hug and asked me if I was sad since grandma Annella had left and I said yes. Finally dinner was done, Kelly left and said she would see us tomorrow. I gave the boys a bath and changed them into their pjs while Oliver fed the twins. We then took them to our bed to read them a couple of stories. Samuel was fussy so Oliver held him. Once the stories were done I took Ben and Michael to their room.

“Dad Elio, don’t be sad. Grandma Annella said she would be back soon,” Michael said.

“Yeah, she told me that too,” I said, tucking him in.

He held his little arms out and I leaned down and gave him a hug and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. I kissed his forehead, thanked him and told him and Ben goodnight and went back to my room. Oliver was in bed and the moment he saw me walk in, he got up off the bed and came to me. He held me tight. It felt good being in his arms.

“You ok?” He asked softly.

“Yeah,” I replied just as soft.

He kissed me and I started getting undressed. He was right there with me. I went and took a look at the twins as they slept peacefully. Oliver and I made our way to bed and Oliver wrapped his strong arms around me.

“I acted like such a baby,” I said softly. “I even had Michael comforting me.”

Oliver chuckled softly and kissed my neck. “Well, in your defense your mom is pretty awesome,” he whispered into my ear. “And Michael comforting you is just adorable,” he said.

I chuckled. “Yeah. Yeah it is.”

“And,” Oliver continued. “Pam will be here in three days.”

I turned around to face him. “Valerie is so excited.”

“As she should be,” he said. “Will she come over here to spend time with the twins?”

“I imagine so,” I said. I smiled up at Oliver. “Thank you for being supportive today.”

“Of course baby,” he said gently. “That’s what family is for.”

We kissed and he held me tight. I closed my eyes and buried my face in his chest. Sleep found me soon enough.


	76. Extended Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darlings!  
> With the start of the holiday season I will be more swamped with work and family and so I will not be updating as often as I am used to or like to or WANT TO!  
> I’m still keeping my every other day scheduled, but if you check on your fave fic of mine and it hasn’t posted come back in 48 hrs =)  
> I always post between 12-12:30 am EST  
> I will FOR SURE be posting at least on one of my fics every day!  
> Thank you everyone!!  
> Happy Holiday Season to all!  
> HUGS  
> <3

Three days after my mother left, Kelly and Oliver stayed home with the twins and I went and picked up Valerie to make our way to LAX. She was super excited and I felt really happy for her.  

“The ten days she spent here after the twins were born wasn’t enough,” Val said as we sat in traffic.

“Oh, I know,” I said with a sigh as I tapped my thumbs on the steering wheel. “Months of my mom being here wasn’t enough,” I said.

She looked my way, gave me a knowing glance and reached up and caressed my hair. “I know, Elio,” she replied.

Traffic started moving. It was moments like this when I truly looked at my life and was very thankful for how things had turned out. I was with Oliver, Karen and him were at peace and we had his sons every other week. Valerie came into my life and now we had the twins and not only was she understanding of Oliver and I, but her mother knew the situation and was too. I sometimes wondered in I deserved it all. Maybe I had been really good in a past life. Either way, I would just pay it forward when I could.

“So,” I said glancing at Valerie. “I mean, I don’t know if she would or wouldn’t but your mom knows she can use the bedroom my mom used right?” I asked. 

“Oh yeah, I told her,” she said. “And she told me if I ever wanted a night out that she could spend the night with you guys and the twins but I doubt I would want anything except spend time with her,” she told me.

I nodded. “But she’ll be coming during the day to spend time with them right?”

“Yeah,” she told me smiling. “She will love doing that. And she told me that Kelly was a good idea.”

I smiled. We made it to the airport and got out of the car. I glanced at Val as we walked inside. The long, dark brown hair was up in her classic slick pony tail. I realized she had the long white dress she wore when she had met my parents on. Only difference was she had a small white shoulder jacket that she had on top.

“So how you been?” I asked wrapping my arm round her shoulders 

“Good,” she said. “School is going well. The babies are perfect,” she said.

“They are,” I agreed with a smile. We walked towards the gate Pam would be landing at. We looked on the board and saw she should be landing in 18 minutes. I looked at Valerie again. “I just want to thank you for being really great and understanding,” I said. 

She shook her head. “You have already tons,” she said.

“It’s just that it could have all been so much worse,” I said. 

She looked my way. “But it’s not,” she said. “I just want them to grow up happy and loved. I want us to raise good human beings,” she said. 

I pulled her in for a hug. “Thank you,” I said.

“Anyway it isn’t about us anymore is it?” She asked. 

“No, it’s about Sam and Sofie,” I said.

She nodded. “Kelly tells me how attached her and Oliver are,” she said smiling.

“Oh you should see it!” I said my eyes widening. “She’ll choose him over me,” I said with a chuckle.

“Aw,” she said. “He’s wonderful,” she said. She looked my way. “When was the last time you went into his office?” She asked suddenly.

I blinked. “God since last summer,” I said. “I went to a lecture hall not long ago. Why?”

“Remember the day the twins were born? The pictures the hospital took?” I nodded. “He has one picture of the twins on his desk. Right beside the hospital pictures of Ben and Michael,” she said with a smile. 

“Really?” I said. “I didn’t know.”

She squeezed my arm and smiled. “Now you do,” she said.

We waited around a bit more, chatting and I told her about all the music I had been writing. She was very happy to hear how easily the music was coming. Soon enough people were coming through the gate and we walked forward, waiting. Valerie was so excited. 

The moment her mother came out she rushed to her, hugging her tight. They hugged for a while and Valerie had tears in her eyes as they pulled apart. They chatted a while and then Pam saw me. 

“Elio! How are you dear?” I grinned at her. She had dark hair and brown eyes just like Valerie. We hugged. 

“Wonderful Pam! I’m so very happy you’re here!” I truly was.

We chatted and caught up as we got her luggage and then we walked to my car. Valerie sat in the backseat with Pam as we drove to my home.

Once we got there, we introduced Kelly and of course Pam wanted to greet her grandchildren. She hugged and kissed Samuel and he made a funny face with a big open mouth smile. Both Valerie and Oliver laughed and said I make that face all the time. I didn’t know what they were talking about. She then hugged and kissed Sofia, who was ok for about two minutes before her little bottom lip stuck out and she cried until Oliver picked her up. Sofia was normally fine, but if Oliver was around, she wasn’t spending much time with anyone else. I found it endearing and Oliver melted every single time she stuck her bottom lip out and looked at him.

During the month that Pam was to be here, we had decided the twins would go with them for four nights instead of just three and Kelly would spend 2 days at their place.

Oliver cooked a wonderful dinner. As often as I could I would carry Sofia over and let her see her daddy. I would show her all he was doing and how he was cooking. She followed intently with her eyes as we spoke. Valerie and Pam had Samuel, who had burst out in his baby giggle a couple of times and of course Pam couldn’t get enough of it. Samuel seemed to notice when the attention was on him and he enjoyed it. Sofia didn’t like much attention on her. She was happy being left alone and being held by Oliver. It was amazing how at just four months each baby had their personality and how different they both were.

Our dinner was almost ready so Valerie and I fed the twins while Oliver finished up. Once the twins were fed and changed, we were ready to eat. Oliver was holding Sofia and talking to her softly. I saw how Pam smiled at Oliver warmly.

“Dada,” Sofia said. We all froze.

Oliver looked at her. “Dada?” He asked.

“Dada,” she said.

We all clapped and cheered and kissed Sofia. This resulted in her being upset and Oliver again had to take her to the living room to calm her down.

“Oh goodness! What a daddy’s girl!” Pam said.

“Oh, tell me about it!” Valerie exclaimed with a huge smile.

I grinned as Oliver walked back in, Sofia now calm and we all started to eat. Samuel was on Valerie’s lap as we ate. “Val look, he wants some mashed potatoes,” Pam said.

“Oh!” Valerie said. She looked at me, as if asking me. I shrugged and nodded. I didn’t see anything wrong with him trying some solid food. Valerie tried giving him a little bit of mashed potatoes and he ate it right up.

“God this is happening too fast!” I said. Everyone laughed. “Talking and eating food! Slow down babies!” I said.

“Oh, and wait till they’re 20 something and having kids of their own Elio!” Pam said. 

“No!” I cried out. We all laughed and enjoyed the rest of dinner together.


	77. In Between Times

_First week of February 1992_

 

Time is a funny thing. It quickly passes and it takes forever depending on everyone’s circumstances. When you gave small children at home, time always seems to fly. It almost seems as if from one day to the next they’re doing something new and suddenly a brand new baby is six months old. As the twins were now.

December had come and gone. Having Pam over had been a great. Elio and her grew closer and bonded. This made me happy. She also bonded with my sons which warned my heart. She attended the album release party of Elio’s Holiday CD. In its first week it sold what his last holiday album had sold in total. This album was released in Europe and Canada as well since he had gained lots of popularity there.

He had told his parents he would send them copies and did. He sent two signed copies for some friends of theirs but his mom went and bought one at a store anyway. “You’d do the same thing if it was one of our kids,” I said and he had nodded in agreement.

He did interviews over the phone with four different magazines. One was a French Canadian and Lindsay had told him they were in talks to bringing him to some award show there play. This wouldn’t be until April of next year. 

Meanwhile, the holiday concert season was in full swing in LA and Pam and Valerie joined me in a box at a the Hollywood Bowl as we went to a concert the Saturday before Christmas. That had been spectacular and it was obvious the show was built around Elio. He played some of the songs on the CD including the two he had recorded with Toni.

The holidays at home were equally as rewarding. It was the twin’s first. Valerie also celebrated Christmas and Pam made sure all four children were spoiled equally. Michael, getting older took a bigger part when we lit the menorah at home and I was proud of him when he told Pam the story of Hanukkah. Elio too was beaming with pride. We have him a Golden Star of David necklace. He was so proud of it since he saw Elio and I had one as well. 

Elio’s 26th birthday had come to pass and we made the night special. Kelly stayed overnight with the twins and Elio and I drove to Santa Barbara. We got a hotel room and we had an incredible night. He had quite a bit to drink and he left me with hickeys that took weeks to fade. Thank god I didn’t have to worry about going to work and Kelly had just grinned when she saw them but I kept them as covered as I could. It was sexy though. It was all about him. I bought him an Armani suit. Lindsay had helped me with the details and they sewed a tag inside with his name on it. He told me that would be his lucky suit from now on. I loved how happy it made him.

New Years was a happy event but a mere four days later were saying bye to Pam. Elio had come home from LAX looking sad and said he had been the one hugging Valerie this time and it had sucked. I had nodded and held him and kissed him softly all night.

He had taken the following week off and had recorded seventeen songs for his sophomore album. He was excited and nervous. Finally the choices had been made and twelve songs had been chosen and the album had been finalized. There had been a photo shoot in Malibu and suddenly we were 10 days from the world wide album release. Lindsay and David were predicting it to outsell anything he had released, and on the same day, tickets would be available for his own concerts at the Bowl. Lindsay has worked out the details. The amount of money he could possibly make from ticket sales blew me away. He would have his own dates for concerts for March, April and May and in June he would be gone from home for three weeks. He was going to Europe for two weeks and then in Canada for one. He had agreed to this to have all of July off as Annella would again be joining us and the twins would be one.

Just like that, life was somehow planned for us. He was truly living his dream and I couldn’t be happier. I had thought that I would go a bit stir crazy at home but the twins kept me busy and I was enjoying writing. I had read several good novels and I had met with Ellie and had decided to write up some things for her for her textbook. Her publicist and I worked together for me to be credited and paid for the work I put in. This was fine with me. It was now the first week of February and I was happy with my writing, excitedly waiting the release of Elio’s new album.

Sofie sat on my lap as Michael read to her and I at the dining room table. Kelly was in the living room with Ben and Samuel. Michael was a very loving child. As he got older and his personality evolved I always noticed he was the first to try to comfort anyone that was sad. He was attentive of Ben and the twins and had a few times asked, as we ate dinner, if the twins had had their bottle already when Elio and I were focused on dinner with him and Ben and Kelly had fed the twins.

Now that they were six months and were having some solid foods at the table with us, he seemed happier that they were eating.

Sofia was all ears as Michel read Green Eggs and Ham. I smiled. Once we were done I gave Michael a high five. He then gave Sofia one and she laughed. “I think she likes Dr. Seuss a lot!” Michael exclaimed.

“I think you’re quite right,” I said. “Have you got any more homework?”

“No, just my reading time. I’m supposed to read one more but can I do that later?”

“Yes, you can.” I said.

He got up and went outside to the backyard to play a while. Ben and Kelly joined him and I went to the living with the twins and sat down to work over some drafts I had made for Ellie’s textbooks. Time passed quite quickly and then the sun was setting. I bid Kelly good night and moved the twins to their cribs as I gave Ben and Michael baths. Once they were done we went and got their pjs on which I had on my bed. Michael could dress himself and was good at helping Ben now. Bed time story time had now become Michale reading to his three younger siblings time which was fine with Elio and I. We enjoyed it immensely.

Once stories were read, Michael walked him and Ben back to their bedroom. Samuel was a great sleeper and was never fussy anymore. Sofia sometimes took a while but that was fine. We had the rocker we had gotten in the small seating room off the bedroom and I’d sit with Sofia and talk to her. She would look up at me as I talked and she would reach for my chin and grab it and smile at me. This was something I loved. Her hair was becoming so much more curly while Samuels was looking more straight. There was something about Samuel’s eyes too that reminded me of the profession. Sofia though, was all Elio and it melted my heart in ways I didn’t even know was possible.

Sofie was closing her eyes and I went and put her in her crib. She held my finger and I put her mobile on. It was one Karen had gifted her for Christmas. It played piano music and Sofia loved it. I’m sure if was because she heard so much piano music all the time. Her little hand loosened her grip on my finger and once she was sleep I went and checked on Ben and Michael. Ben was sleep but Michael was reading with a little lamp on.

“Can I have thirty more minutes dad?” He asked me.

“Alright but I’ll be back in thirty and lights off then.” He gave me a thumbs up. I returned to the living room and continued my work. Half an hour later I checked on all four kids and all of them were sleep, including Michael. I glanced at my watch. It was 8:17 and Elio wouldn’t be home for about two and a half hours. I got to work. The time flew and I was incredibly productive. Two hours later I was done with all I had planned to do. I got a glass of wine and a book and waited for Elio to come home.

Time flew and before I knew it, his headlights shone in through the front window. I closed my book and got up. I couldn’t wait to see him. I went and opened the door. I grinned at him as he came up the path of the house. His hair was shorter now. He had gotten a hair cut right before his photo shoot in Malibu. He looked so sexy. He was a classically trained musician but had the air of a rock star. 

He looked up at me and grinned as he got close. He shut the door behind him and we kissed as he stepped inside. It was a long lingering kiss. I needed him tonight and the way he kissed me I could tell he needed me. He slid his arms around my waist and down grabbing me from behind.

“It’s been too long,” he said.

“It’s been three days,” I whispered teasingly even thought I wanted it just as badly too.

“Yeah two days too long,” he said. I chuckled.

I pulled back. “Want some wine?” I asked.

“No,” he said shaking his head and smiling. “No I just need that ass,” he told me and stepped up to me engulfing my mouth with his lips. Those lips. We walked down the hall towards our bedroom. He checked on the boys first. Then we walked into our room and we walked into our walk-in closet while I undressed him and we whispered. I undressed as well, we had sleeping pants on and we walked to bed. He checked on the twins as we passed by them. We then went to bed. He grabbed me the moment we were under the covers. He pushed me down and it made me grin.

“We’re getting so good at this silent sex thing,” he said. “It’s kinda hot. Makes me want to fuck you harder, makes me want to see how far I can push it,” he said. 

Oh... he was in one of those moods. It was amazing how sex changed depending on what was going on. An extreme career high or being under incredible stress resulted in the same for him: rough, dirty sex. The moments he felt incredibly domestic and something touching had happened with one of the children, it was sweet and gentle and he wanted to be made love to. But then there were the days when I decided what we would do. I had gotten a taste of dominating him and we had enjoyed a bit of that too. Everything we did felt shared and balance. It was all good.

He thrusted in me. He pinned my wrist down. His hot breath was on the back of my neck and there were bites my shoulders. He was relentless and greedy and needy. I loved when he was hungry like this. It always turned me on. He lasted quite a while and came deep inside of me. It was then my turn. I was more gentle and took my time. It’s how I wanted it. I started slowly and calmed him down with kissed and soft licks. The buildup was slow but at the end, he clung to me and came deep inside him. I loved how he panted. I love how he shook beneath me as I thrusted in deep. I loved everything about him. 

“I love you,” I said.

“I love you more,” he replied.

“Impossible,” I said as I kissed his lips. We kissed a while and then held each other. We laid like this for a moment.

“Let’s go look at homes, baby” he whispered.

“Ok,” I said.

“For real though. I have the next three Monday’s off. Let’s make the effort. We have Kelly. I got a realtor’s number. Let’s do this.”

I grinned. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the bedroom. I saw he grinned back at me. “Yes, of course. Yes,” I said. 

“Good,” He said. He leaned forward and kissed me. “But I think I may still want the silent sex every once in a while,” he said chuckling. I tickled him. 

“Goose,” I said and kissed him more. I don’t remember much except kissing him until we both fell sleep.


	78. Memories

Elio had his CD release party in two days and he was all nerves. I was playing with Samuel. His giggle was so infectious. “Who’s a cute little baby?” I would ask him as I gave him a little tickle or a little shake. He would giggle loudly and with such exaggeration. We were in the sunroom and I was sitting in the armchair with him while he ignore Elio at the piano. Sam, like Michael, wasn’t too impressed by his extremely talented papà. 

On the flip side though, we had discovered Sofia liked the piano. She would sit on Elio’s lap and furrow her little brow as she watched Elio’s fingers expertly move across the keyboard. She seemed to be in deep concentration. She would also complain when she didn’t like what Elio was playing. She would wail angrily until he stopped and he would play something else. Elio noticed she preferred Chopin to all other composers.

We fed them and put them to bed and then Elio and I went to the living room to have some wine and relax. He seemed lost in thought. I held his hand and caressed the back of it with my thumb. I brought his fingers to my mouth and kissed them. “These fingers are about to release a second album,” I said with a smile.

“Do you remember what happened after the last CD release party?” Elio asked me.

I grinned at him. “How could I forget?” I asked. “I remember you rode me on this couch,” I said patting the back of the couch.

Elio chuckled softly. “Val is gonna have the twins, we’ll be able to have a round two of that,” he said. He suddenly put his wine glass down and climbed on top of me. This had been happening the last couple of weeks. He was full of nervous energy and needed to release it.

“Anything you want handsome,” I said to him as I grabbed his shirt and pulled him to me. He grinned as we kissed. His lips were soft against mine. As much as he wanted to dominate I noticed how much he loved me showing him how much I wanted him. He wanted me submissive and wanting. That was fine with me, as that was also what I wanted.

We were kissing and I pulled his shirt off him. He was laying on top of me. I ran my hands down his body. I slid my hands around him, pressing my fingertips into his lower back. 

We heard Samuel cry from the bedroom. We jumped up. If we weren’t quick Sofia would start and she would take at least an hour to go back to sleep. We went over quickly and Elio had him in his arms in no time. I stayed and put Sofia’s mobile on. Elio walked out of the bedroom with Sam. I joined them in the kitchen once I was sure Sofia wouldn’t wake up. Elio had made a bottle but Sam wasn’t interested. He looked at me confused. I went and got a new diaper and we changed him but he was still fussy and crying unhappily. His little face was red.

“Could he be sick?” Elio asked. I went and got the thermometer but his temperature was fine.

“Maybe he’s teething,” I said. We got under the light of the kitchen and sure enough he had two little teeth coming out of his bottom jaw.

“What!” Elio said. I chuckled. “Aw poor baby, he’s in pain,” he said.

Pam had bought the babies teething rings and I went and got the one for Sam. I washed it thoroughly and handed it to him. “When he falls asleep we can put it to freeze,” I said. Sammy chewed in the ring greedily and began to calm down.

“Aw poor baby,” Elio said. “He must be in so much pain.” 

I watched as he held Sam, him resting his little head against Elio’s chin. I wrapped my arms around Elio from behind. I placed my left hand on Sam’s back and my other hand caressed Elio’s mid section. I kissed Elio’s cheek and Sam’s head and Elio’s cheek again. I held them close as Sam started to calm down.

I took a deep breath as I held them. I often had moments like this, wonderfully sweet moments were Elio and I were just two people in love raising our babies and my mind would sometimes wander back to when it was Karen and I. My stomach would sometimes clench at the memories. By the time Michael was six months we had already started to argue again and drift apart. Michael had started teething at seven months and there was never a moment like this with us. I never held her as she consoled Michael or Ben teething. By the time Ben came around we knew our marriage was pretty much for show.

I knew Ben and Michael were so little they probably didn’t remember, but sometimes, as Elio and I, equally and lovingly doted over the twins I had moments of guilt about not giving Ben and Michael this. I didn’t want to tell Elio because it would sadden him and I didn’t want to ruin our moments with the twins and I wasn’t going to rehash the past with Karen. I didn’t know who to talk to about this so I didn’t. I let the guilt wash over me, not showing it and then when it passed I tried to push it away as far as possible.

Sam rested his little head on Elio’s shoulder and I saw he was drooling all over so I went and grabbed something to wipe it up with. I put a bib under his cheek so he would stop drooling on Elio’s bare shoulder. I resumed my holding of Elio as he held Sam. Elio was talking to him softly and he was looking back and forth at us as he rested. About half an hour later was asleep. Elio walked back to the bedroom and I turned off the lights and made my way there too.

Sam was in his crib already by the time I walked through the door. Elio and I undressed and crawled into bed.

“Think Sofia will teeth soon too?” He asked me in the softest of whispers.

“Hard to tell, each baby is different. Michael was about seven months when he started and Ben was almost one.

Elio nodded. “Must hurt a lot, right?” He asked.

I caressed his face and smiled at his concern. He was so sweet. “We have the teething rings and they sell stuff to numb the spot but I don’t remember using any on Ben and Michael and it passed by quickly,” I said.

“Ok,” he nodded. I pulled him to me and closed my eyes and took deep breaths. I tried to push memories of the fights with Karen and the nights I stayed in our room as she checked on the boys. She was normally the one that got up since I was the only one working. Now as I was on the other end and the parent at home I was seeing all the little things I had missed with Ben and Michael.

I recalled how Sam looked at us both. Sammy and Sofia will always have that. Me and Elio. Together. Happy. In love. I let out another deep breath. It made me want to apologize to my sons. The though saddened me. Maybe one day when they were older, I would.

“You ok?” Elio asked me. 

“Yeah,” I said.

I wondered what I would do if he pressed the subject but he didn’t. He hugged me. I leaned down and kissed him. After a while I finally relaxed and I noticed Elio had fallen asleep. I closed my eyes and kissed his head and felt so lucky I had these moments with him and the twins and promised to be the best father to Ben and Michael. All I could do now was make up for the happy memories they would never have of their mother and I.


	79. Thoughts

Elio decided to wear his Armani suit to the CD release party. We were going to be picked up by Lindsay and a driver. When she arrived we were both ready. 

“Look at you both! I don’t think tuxedos look better on any other two people as they look on you both!” She said. We laughed. We climbed into the black SUV and took off. “So! People magazine will be there, Elio. They wanted access and I allowed it but we get to check the photos and article before they go to print. That way you two can relax and enjoy yourselves.”

Right, I thought, in case a photo got snapped that showed Elio holding my hand or me fixing his suit. I nodded and looked out the window. I felt Elio’s hand on my mine and any resentment I had towards society for not accepting us melted away when I looked at his smile. He was worth everything.

When we arrived he went out front of the venue and was photographed walking in. Lindsay and I went in through the back. The place already had a good amount of people inside with more to come. David had invited some other recording artists to the party. I looked around and was a little taken aback by the celebrities I saw. Lindsay wasn’t, she looked like a gloating mom.

Elio then came in and almost everyone swarmed him. I stayed back and let him have his moment. I looked at him shake hands and greet and sign CDs. His eyes wandered and then he found me and he smiled the most gorgeous smile. As he moved through the crowd, every so often he would look up and spot me and smile his wonderful smile again. This was all I needed. Tonight was his and many people were here for him. I was more than fine staying back and just admiring the man I loved live his dream.

“Oh it’s just so sad. It was AIDS,” I heard a voice from my right. I looked. There were a couple of women in metallic dresses, one blue one silver. Puffed up hair. I looked back at Elio. Our eyes met.

“Just so sad, such a talent, Freddy Mercury, but he was, you know,” the other voice said.

“Yeah. Well obviously because people leading normal lives don’t get it!” I raised my eye brows. I looked back at Elio and he caught my eye and grinned. I grinned back.

“Oh, there’s Elio. Oh god I made my husband take me to Paris last year to see him and Margaret Winters. He’s going back in June. I’ll get tickets for each and every show!” I looked back and took a better look at them.

“Oh you lucky dog! And here you are, come all the way from Texas. How does you husband know David anyway?”

“They’re all college buddies! When I heard he was coming out with a second CD I told my husband I had to come to the CD party! My husband bought me a ticket.”

That had been Lindsey’s idea. There had been a give away on a radio station for a winner an their guest. Once they had the celebrities they were inviting, there had been a sale for the remaining seats at the dinner tables. When Elio had told me how much he made out of this I couldn’t believe it. Everyone would get a CD and they could meet him and he would sign their CDs. I sighed. 

“How old is he now?” The other voice asked. I looked. It was the younger looking of the two women asking. She still looked older than by by at least five years though.’

“He just turned 26,” the Texan woman answered. “Isn’t he gorgeous?”

“Still single?” I heard. Elio glanced at me. I glanced back at them. Nope, I thought to myself.

“I don’t know! He’s private and I can respect that. But boy can you imagine the lucky girl! That talent at home!” I thought of our sun room. The times we had made out on the piano bench and endless songs he had played for me naked. I looked back at them. “Makes me wish I was younger and single. I’d even take a one night stand!” They erupted ingiggles.

He made it through the crowd and made his way to me. Before he came I tilted my head to the right and motioned to the women behind me. He took the hint.

“Oh goodness! Elio Perlman! I came all the way from Texas! I am such I fan!”

“Oh, thank you so much,” I heard Elio say. I sighed and looked around the room. I was ok with this. I wondered how these women would feel knowing Elio slept with me every night. Would they stop buying his albums? Would they stop going to his shows? That was the reality. Maybe in the future, it would get better. I really hoped it would. In the meantime, I didn’t care that he had many female fans simply because of his looks. I was fine with it. After all, it was me he came home to and we were happier and stronger than ever. Our love was strong enough for this. 

 

* * *

 

After extensive mingling Elio took the stage and played 2 songs. We then had dinner. The Texan fan was in the table beside us. With us was Lindsay, David and his wife who was a fan of Elio’s, Toni and Alex and the conductor and his new boyfriend. I had invited Lidia. Stacey couldn’t come because she was pregnant and on bed rest. The conductor and his boyfriend talked our ears off and David constantly laughed and rolled his eyes. I wonder how many eyes looking at our table realized how there there three same sex couples there, right under their noses.

If they realized they didn’t show it. After the dinner Elio got back on stage and played four songs in total. I saw the photographer for people magazine take photos. He had been allowed to take photos for the first hour when Elio was mingling with guest and during piano performances. After this one he would do more mingling but the photographer was to go.

After the performance Elio went and walked around the room again. He was now walking the room with David. I had met his wife tonight for the first time. She spotted me and made her way over.

“Oliver right?” She asked.

“Yeah. Stephanie?”

“Yes,” she said. “I rarely come to these because this is what us spouses do,” she said softly. I glanced at her and smiled. I knew David knew. “But I’m a fan and David let me sit beside him and I’m as giddy as a school girl right now!” She said giggling. 

I laughed. “That’s great. I’m glad you met him. He’s amazing,” I said. She gave me a warm look. 

“Must be amazing to see him at work!” She said with an excited look.

“It is,” I said. We looked back and found them talking to some people.

“So what do you do?” She asked me.

“I teach philosophy at UCLA and I write a weekly column for the LA times,” I said.

“Wow! That’s amazing!” She said. I smiled. “You two look so beautiful together. Both so handsome and so smart and talented wow!” I smiled warmly at her. Moments like this made it all tolerable. People like her and everyone that knew and accepted and let us be ourselves.

“Thank you,” I answered.

“I use to teach middle school. When we had the kids though, I stayed home,” she said. I nodded. “Now the baby is about to start high school this September and I’m in need of a hobby!” She said.

“Would you go back to teaching?” I asked. 

“Oh god I haven’t taught in 22 years!” She said. She shook her head. “Nah. It is what it is. Hey what column do you write?”

“Dash of Philosophy Today,” I said with a slight smile.

She gasped. “Oh what?! David and I look forward to it every Saturday morning! Oh my god! What a wonderful evening this has been!” She said. I chuckled and she then talked non stop about my articles. It was wonderful. She really had read them. I loved the conversation. I’m not sure how long we had been talking when David and Elio showed up. The moment David was close, Stephanie grabbed him. “David! This is the UCLA professor that writes the column every Saturday!” She said excitedly. 

“What?!” David said. He turned to Elio. “How could you not tell me! Shame on you! Oh god we love your column. We read it then we talk about it till lunch time. Oh man!” David said with a huge grin. “You two need to come over. Heck bring the babies eh! Come for a lunch. Oh I have SO much I want to discuss with you!”

Elio grinned and was even standing up taller as David and Stephanie praised me. We talked for a while more and the party dwindled. Once it was time to go, Lindsay and her driver took us home. She got out and hugged us and said she would have sale numbers on Tuesday. We thanked her.

We walked inside. Elio opened our door and stepped inside. I walked in after him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. He leaned back on the front door and he tilted his face up so his lips could meet my lips. We linger there a moment. I had my arms on either side of him as we kissed. “Did you have fun baby?” He asked me. 

“Yes. You were amazing,” I whispered on his lips as we kissed some more. I felt his arms wrap around me. I wrapped my arms around his waist. We pulled apart and he looked up at me.

“David and I had an interesting little conversation,” he said.

“Oh?” I asked. 

“He said he has an artist, he didn’t tell me names, who approached him about the fact that she wants to come out publicly,” he looked at me intently as he said this. 

“Oh?” I said, thinking about the conversation I over heard at his party.

He smiled at me and kissed me again. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” He took my hand and we walked down the hallway to our bedroom. I kissed him and looked down at his beautiful face as he started taking off my suit as I had done for him countless times.

“Is it something you want to do?” I asked him. He knew I was referring to coming out publicly.

He took a deep breath in and out. “It’s not so easy as just what I want to do,” he said. He took my jacket and hung it up. He came back and started unbuttoning my shirt. “It’s not just about me. It’ll affect you, Valerie, even Karen because she’s your ex wife and it will obviously affect our children. All four. So, it’s not just about me.”

I nodded. “I want you happy,” I said.

“And I want you all protected. If you’re happy and safe and protected then I’m happy,” he said to me. I leaned down and kissed him. I felt so proud of him. “I also don’t want to lie. I don’t want to say I’m with a woman just so the public likes me. So I just won’t answer those questions, I think that’s how I’ll go about it for now. I’m going to say my family is not a topic of discussion.” 

“Ok,” I said, nodding.

“I didn’t just come up with this today by the way, I’ve been thinking about it for a while.” He slipped my shirt off and ran his hands over my chest.

I kissed him again. I began taking his suit off. “We will always be ok,” I said.

He looked at me and nodded. “Well, whatever happens, today, tomorrow, ten years from now, we’ll do it as a couple.”

“Yes,” I said. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he told me. “I’ve never been happier.”

“Neither have I baby,” I said and kissed him one more time.


	80. Time Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picking up right after I left off, when Elio and Oliver get home after the CD release party  
> Enjoy  
> <3

I watched as Elio ran hands over my chest. He tilted his face up to me and our lips met. I heard him moan softly.  

“Tell me what you need,” I asked him. All I wanted to do was please him and I had all night to do it. 

He grinned up at me. “What about what you need?” He asked me.

“I just want to please you,” I whispered.

“Mmmmm,” he moaned and wrapped his arms around my neck. “So sexy,” he said into my lips as we kissed. His hand slid down my body and he slipped it into my boxers. His fingers wrapped around me. His slightest touch drove me wild. It was the truth. No one ever made me lose control like he did. I groaned.

He grinned up at me. When he was in control of me in bed, his face changed, his posture changed, even his tone of voice. It so incredibly sexy to see. I was putty in his hands and I loved it. His lips touched mine. His slender body pressed against me and I wrapped my arms around him. 

“You just want to please me?” He asked.

I closed my eyes. “Yes,” I said. We kissed again.

He took my hand and led me to our bed. “Lay on your back,” he told me. 

I did as he told me and he climbed on top of me. He laced his fingers with mine and held my hands down on either side of my head. He kissed my lips for a while. I loved how he was kissing me. He was taking his time. He would lick my lips and kiss me slowly and deliberately. I moaned as we kissed. His lips were soft and perfect, loving and intense.

“I love you so much,” he whispered. 

“I love you,” I replied in between kisses.

He lifted up slightly and looked down at me. “I want to make you happy,” he told me.

My eyes widened slightly. “I am happy. I have you. I have our children. I lack nothing.”

He rubbed his nose with mine. He kissed me again.Stronger this time. “I’m going to write music for you, forever,” he said kissing down my neck. “Forty years from now, when the kids are grown and gone from home and with kids of their own I’ll play you all the music I’ve written you and tell you exactly what inspires each song,” he said. “What moment. What feeling. What emotion. What passionate kiss. What incredible fuck,” he looked into my eyes.“My music will be a soundtrack to our love story and I want to spend forever writing it and playing it for you.” 

I stared up at him. He had said some beautiful things to me and we had had some amazing moments and although it was understood we were in it for the long haul we had never said it like this. Forever. Forty years from now. It’s not that we never made future plans, it’s just that we had never discussed growing old together and suddenly imagining it... 

I grabbed him and pulled him to me. I was so overcome by him and all I felt. I felt the shift in dynamic and went with it. He didn’t try to reign me in, he didn’t try to hold me back. He gave himself to me willingly. 

I turned us over and laid on top of him. My heart was pounding so fast. I looked into his eyes and didn’t even know what to say. I caressed his face. He was older but I always saw that seventeen year old boy. I kissed him quickly as I felt the hot sting of tears at the corner of my eyes as another wave of deep emotion watched over me.We were starving for each other. I reached for the lube. He got up and pushed me back on my back, I lathered the lube on myself and he lost no time climbing on top of me. 

I raised up on to my elbows and watched as he slid me into his gorgeous body. He began to ride me. I had come to realize, this was my favorite position. I had a perfect view and accessibility to Elio and his body, I was inside of him, yet he controlled the tempo. He fucked me while I fucked him. It was perfect. I watched his body expertly move above mine. I groaned as I ran my hands up his thighs. 

I grabbed on to his hips and lost myself in the rhythm of his body. “You feel so good,” he told me groaning. 

“Not as good as you, baby,” I said, pushing my hips up slightly.

I watched as Elio leaned his head back. I ran my hand up abs. I left my palm on his navel, fingers spread. I like doing this. I like how large my palm looked on his slender body and how tanned my hand seemed against his pale skin. Even after years of living under the hot Southern California sun, Elio stayed pale and flawless. I ran my hand across and caressed his hip bones with my thumbs. He let out a groan as I pushed up slightly with my hips.

“Sit up,” He asked be breathlessly, so I did. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his neck. I sucked the skin gently. He loved this. He started moaning and his hips moved faster. It felt amazing. I thrusted up harder. Our pace picked up substantially. We kissed and Elio moaned, his lips on mine.

“Let me fuck you, please,” I begged him. He slowed and nodded. We kissed, again. Long, passionate kisses. His hips finally ceased moving and I slowly lifted him with me hands. He turned and laid on his stomach, he spread his knees for me.

I ran my hands up the back of his thighs and over his soft skin. I leaned down and kissed his lower back. I had never seen a more beautiful human being in my life. I leaned in and placed my tip at his entrance. He moved his hips back into me and I slid inside of him. I loved how he moaned. I kissed along his right shoulder. I started thrusting in and out of him.

I was so turned on from him being on top of didn’t take long for me to come. I came deep inside of him. I was still panting and my body still hot with my organic bliss when he slid our from under me. He hadn’t climaxed yet. I felt him behind me and soon he had entered me. 

My body felt weak and hot and the sting of his sudden entrance brought me back to life. I felt soft kisses and gentle bites on my back. He thrusted in me hungrily, wanting release, yet I knew he was trying to hold back to make it last a while. “I love your perfect body,” he said with another bite. I grinned and opened myself up wider for him. I groaned as he went deeper inside of me. I felt him wrap his arms around me as he pounded into me, hard and fast. I moaned loudly. I felt Elio as he tensed up, he cried out and came. He collapsed on top of me. We laid there panting and sweaty.

Eventually, once we could move again, we got up, cleaned up and got back in bed and under the covers. He came to me, I opened my arms and wrapped them around him. He pressed his warm cheek against my chest.

“So you imagine us forty years in the future, huh?” I asked softly. I felt the gentle shake of his body as he chuckled.

“Sometimes,” He said. “Don’t you?”

“I do,” I said. I held him tight. There had been plenty a night that I laid there and let my mind wander about all we had ahead of us. I wasn’t sure how long it was but I became aware of Elio’s deep, steady breaths. I kissed his forehead gently. I closed my eyes and sighed.

 

* * *

 

Elio woke me up as the sun had began to rise. He was panting and already hard, kissing my neck and chest. His hands were all over me. He was inside me soon enough. He was sweet and gentle. He made love to me slowly, kissing everywhere he could reach. His beautiful hands were caressing my chest as he held me from behind. I felt his cheek on my back and his warm breath on my skin.I closed my eyes and enjoyed every second of it. His moans were long and soft. He moaned the whole time, the only quiet moments were when he was kissing my skin. 

He stroked me as he made love to me and after a long, wonderful time, we came. He got up and got us a towel and then laid back in bed. He pulled me into his arms this time. He looked down at me as he gently stroked my hair. He took my right palm to his lips and kissed it. I caressed his face. We merely gazed at each other. We could have spoken and told each other all we were feeling but we just felt it and knew. Eventually we fell back asleep.

We slept in until almost noon. Once we got up, we showered and I cooked lunch. We ate. Elio called Valerie to see how the twins were. We went to the sunroom and Elio played for me for a while and then we were to the living room and I read him the latest column I had written and we talked about it for a while longer. It was almost time for dinner and we decided to go out. Wayne’s World had come out and we decided to go watch it. After the movie we went to a Chinese restaurant that was by the movie theater. 

It was almost midnight by the time we got home. We had undressed and gotten in bed and we were chatting when I noticed Elio had fallen sleep. I pulled him close and held him tight.

I thought of the party yesterday and our day today. It didn’t matter who knew or didn’t know. Mine and Elio’s relationship didn’t hang on the approval or disapproval of the masses. I sighed. I kissed him softly and crossed my eyes. Sleep found me soon enough.


	81. Springtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Elio’s POV  
> Enjoy!  
> <3

_End of February to End of June 1992_

 

My second CD sold extremely well. Of course there was a flurry of interest and everyone wanted to interview me, from Rolling Stone to People to Entertainment Tonight as well as newspapers and magazines from Canada and Europe. Lindsay and I navigated the requests and chose the ones we thought would bring the best exposure. There were several photo shoots and countless phone calls. There was preparation for my new set of concerts and a bit of anxiety was growing in me about being away from Oliver and the kids in June. In the middle of all that we were looking for a home.

I couldn’t have done it all without Oliver. In the whirlwind of my career, my rock, my anchor and my strength was him. He was always there and always keeping me calm and centered. I had no idea how I would ever repay him. How I would ever make it up to him. How I could ever give to him what he gave to me.

Michael turned seven in March of that year. A day came at the end of March when I came home after a concert and Oliver was up and waiting for me, as he always did. He opened the door and I grinned at him as I stepped inside. He pulled me in close and kissed me and very excitedly said. “I went to go see a house today and I really, really liked it.”

We had been looking for a over month now and I had never seen Oliver be this excited about any of the homes we had seen together or that he had seen alone.

“Ok, we’ll make an offer tomorrow. Let’s get it,” I told him.

Oliver looked at me, eyes widened in surprise. “Don’t you want to look at it first?” He asked.

“You love it,” I said. He nodded. “Ok, that’s all I need to know.” Oliver stood there in shock. “Oliver we’ve seen like what? 25 homes?” I asked. 

“This was home number 33 actually,” he said.

“Ok, lots,” I said laughing. “If it makes you happy. If you love it. That’s all I need,” I said. I looked into his eyes. “If you love it then you should have it. I want you to have it. So tomorrow we’ll make an offer. Ok?” 

“Ok,” he said. 

We made our way to the bedroom. The twins were sleep and I could see he couldn’t stop smiling. “Does it make you happy?” I asked. “The thought of living in that home, does it make you happy?” 

“Yes,” he said.

“That’s all I want. I just want to make you happy every single day of your life,” I said.

He leaned in and kissed me. We had mastered the art of being quiet. He slid down my body and took me in his mouth. It was incredible as always. I came in his mouth and then he made love to me. He was gentle and sweet and kept telling me how much he loved me and how perfect I was. I could tell he was happy. This was all I needed. I was extremely happy as well. 

Ben turned four in April. The home was bought and then we began to pack, or rather Oliver did a lot of the packing while I helped on my days off. It was hard though since I was also preparing to go to Europe. He wouldn’t come this time. We talked about it for an extensive period and we both equally decided it would be better if he were home with the twins. Plus we would be moving right before I left for Europe.

“I’ll have our home ready when you come back,” he had said with a gorgeous smile and I melted. Our home. My life couldn’t be any better I thought.

I left for three weeks to Europe and one week in Canada. It was hard and I called Oliver daily. I missed him. I missed the twins. I missed Ben and Michael. Michale even cried the first time we spoke when I told him I wouldn’t see him for four weeks. This made me cry. The concerts though were a success, all sold out performances and sales for my album skyrocketed.

Finally my concerts were over and I went home. Lindsay and Oliver picked me up at LAX and when we were finally in the safe confines of the SUV I pulled him to me and kissed him. I didn’t want to let him go.

“God I missed you so much,” I told him.

“I missed you too baby, just as much,” he said.

We made it home, to our new home and Lindsay got out to hug me then got back in the car quickly and told us to have a wonderful night.

Oliver and I carried my luggage in. The house was quiet. The children were with their mothers. We made it inside the front door and I jumped on Oliver again. I kissed him hard. I became aware of his hands unbuttoning my shirt. Our new living room was large and had a gorgeous stone fireplace. We had bought new furniture and we now had two brown leather sofas. We moved to the living room. He pushed my shirt off and I pulled the blue polo he was wearing off.

“I missed you so much,” Oliver said as he kissed my neck. “I missed touching you. I missed you in bed every night.”

I started undoing his jeans. “Me too,” I said. “Me too, me too.” 

I fell back onto the couch and he climbed on top of me. I undid my own pants as he kissed me and pushed them down. “Let me,” Oliver said. 

I grinned. He wanted me. Even now, I still loved that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. He pulled my pants all the way off. He kissed my neck and chest, his warm hands all over my body. It felt amazing. “I’ll be right back,” he said and took off. I sat up and looked around our new living room. My piano was here now. Oliver had loved the brightly lit area and had told me he could see me playing the piano in that spot so we had put it in that spot. 

Oliver came back into the living room with some towels and a bottle of lube. I grinned up at him and he came and laid on top of me again. We kissed and I pulled him on to me, on top of me. “Where were we?” I asked. 

Oliver grinned as he kissed me again. He pressed his body down on me. “I was kissing you like this,” he said as he kissed down my neck and across my chest. I moaned softly as he kissed my skin. I ran my hands through his hair. He came back up to my lips. “And I was telling you how much I love you, and missed you and how lonely I was every night without you,” he said in a husky voice.

“Aw my poor baby,” I said taking his face in my hands and kissing his lips.

“Yes, poor me,” he said as we chuckled. “I need to make up for it.”

“Yes you do,” I said. “We both do.” 

“But me first,” he said, looking down at me.

“Yes baby,” I said breathlessly. I nodded and he turned me over. I loved this. As much as I loved dominating him, it felt incredible when it felt like he couldn’t control himself. This was one of those times.

His hands and kisses were hungry on my skin. I loved how he was panting. He lifted my hips to him and I felt him ready to enter me. He did, little by little as he slowly pushed into me. “I need to fuck you all over our new home,” he said to me. He sucked the side of my neck.

It all felt amazing. There was a sweet sting as he slid inside of me. I moaned and grabbed the back of the couch as he started going in harder. I could feel his hot breath on my back as he laid his forehead on the back of my neck. Our bodies started moving together. I was so turned on. I had needed him just as badly. He reached down and stroked me. My hips moved forward into his hand and back as I pushed against him, making him go deeper. 

I felt his soft bites and slow licks. I loved the way he moaned. My body felt electric and alive and my skin so sensitive. Every stroke and caress magnified the pleasure he was giving me. “Oliver,” I heard him whisper. 

I reached down and placed my hand on top of his as he stroked me. “Elio,” I said.

“Oliver,” came his whisper as he moaned.

“Elio,” I replied breathlessly. 

He was being rough now, relentless. He needed this. He needed me. He had missed me and his body ached for me. I felt it. I felt it all in the way he felt inside of me. In the way he was fucking me. I groaned loudly. It was incredible. My body came alive whenever he was inside of me and I never wanted this to stop. We were sweaty and my hand was slipping slightly on the leather as my palm became sweaty. I gripped it tighter. He was pounding into me so hard.

He squeezed me tighter. I came in his hand and he groaned loudly as he came deep inside of me. We stayed still, panting, our bodies shuddering with the sweet aftershocks of our climax. After a while I cleaned his hand on one of the towels he had brought. I slid down on my stomach and he stayed inside of me for as long as he could. Finally, we cleaned up and I laid on my back and he on top of me, his cheek on my chest. I caressed his hair and face. He was so warm. It felt so good. So relaxing. My body was worn out from the flight and the stress of the last four weeks. I didn’t sleep as well without him and I knew he felt the same way with me.

I felt drowsy. “Welcome home baby,” I heard him whisper. I smiled and dozed off to sleep.


	82. Welcoming Family Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This picks up right where the last chapter left off... their time on the couch!  
> Enjoy!  
> <3

We had drifted off to sleep. Early the following morning, as the sun was beginning to rise I awoke to Oliver lifting me up into his arms. 

“What are you doing?” I asked. 

“Taking you to bed,” he answered in his gorgeous voice.

The house was large in a comfortable way, not in an obnoxious way. It had six bedrooms, one for each child, one for us and a guest bedroom, which was downstairs. The stairs were wooden and curved and from the top we could look down into the living room bellow. The master bedroom was to the right of the stairs. The other four bedrooms were on the opposite end of the living room. This meant you had to walk down a walkway, windows to one side looking out our backyard with a pool and a lovely dark wooden banister on the other side, the living room down below. 

The first time I had seen the set up, I had glanced at Oliver. “No more need to be quiet,” he had whispered. “Unless you wanna make a game of it.”

“A game?” I had asked.

“Yeah, seeing who can make the other moan first.” 

We had reached the top of the stairs and he slowly walked to our bedroom. I looked up at him. He glanced down at me and smiled. He laid me on the bed. He began at my ankles, kissing softly and tenderly. Once he reached one knee, he kissed my other leg and did the same. Once he had kissed both knees he kissed up my thighs. He took his time. He was so gentle and sweet. He spread my legs and began to kiss and lick my inner thighs. He adored each one equally. I was painfully hard by the time he was done.

“It’s my turn,” I said. I needed to fuck him.

“But I’m not done yet,” he said and took me in his mouth. He sucked me hard. He pulled me out and rolled his tongue around my head, suckled it gently then slid me in again. I arched my back and grabbed his hair. He continued, his mouth deliciously pleasing me. I moaned loudly, freely, knowing it was just us at home right now. I looked down and watched as my cock went into his mouth.

I thrusted my hips up and he looked up at me. His piercing blue eyes were so intense. I thrusted up again. He liked it. The corners of his mouth seemed to turn up into a smile. I thrusted hard, but only about three more times and then I came. It was sudden and even I was surprised at how quickly it had happened. He turned me on so much, I really shouldn’t have been as surprised as I was.

My body felt hot and I was panting hard. He gave me a moment to catch my breath. He kissed my hips, both of them, and then turned me over. “Move up,” he whispered. “You may want to use the headboard for support.” 

Oh... this was going to be one of those fucks, I thought. I moved up, nervous and excited anticipation at the pit of stomach. He kissed me gently at first, caressing my body with his hands. He always did this when he was planning to fuck my brains out. It almost felt as if he was asking my body for forgiveness for the way he planned to ravage it in a matter of minutes. His hand slid over my ass, gently, and then, a hard squeeze and a moan escaped his lips. He was ready. He needed me.

He thrusted in. I whimpered. It hurt but in such a good way. He waited a moment. He panted against my back. He grabbed my hips and he began pounding into me. I placed my palms against the headboard. I stiffened my elbows. I cried out. It was hard and intense. I shut my eyes tight as my whole body shook along with his thrusts. I loved how he grunted when he fucked me. It was so gratifying to hear. I wanted him like this, lost in pleasure, lost in our love and lost in our bodies. I wanted him deep inside me. I wanted us to be one. 

I reached back and grabbed his hand that was on my left hip, we laced our fingers together. This was so gratifying and good. He spoke of how much he loved me. How perfect I was. Not as perfect as him, I had replied and then he did something he had never done. He grabbed my hair and pulled it as he fucked me roughly and came. I was a bit surprised but turned on.

After we had calmed down and he had cleaned up, he had been very gentle with me and he laid back in bed. I opened my arms and he had come and held me. “I hope I didn’t hurt you, maybe I should have warned you,” he said softly. I knew he meant the hair pulling. 

“I’m fine. It was hot,” I said, which was the truth. I looked down at him, his cheek on my chest. He grinned up at me. I loved how his blue eyes sparkled. He was happy I had liked it. “You’ve never done it before,” I said.

He was quiet for a moment. “I’ve never fucked you in my home before,” he said softly.

I furrowed my brow. He was right. It had happened at the conductor’s condo where I had first stayed and then in the home I rented and st hotels. This was his home, he was right. When we had gotten the keys I had given them to him and told him it was his, he had picked it, he had chosen it. It was all his. I leaned down and kissed him. “What else will I be getting that I can only get at your place?” I asked him with a grin. 

“Guess you’ll have to wait and see,” he said with a wonderful kiss to my lips.

 

* * *

 

We had a wonderful weekend. I had my turn with him and then we took turns in our bathroom, in the kitchen and dining room and even by the pool outside. We had no neighbors that could see us. Our yard ended on a hill with a perfect view of LA. It was incredible.

 

Monday came. I got out of bed, excited and wide awake. Oliver too, awoke and even though he was a little tired, he grinned at my excitement.

 “After we get my parents, we’ll be picking up the twins,” I said.

“Yes,” Oliver whispered. I was so happy. Both my parents were here for all of July. The twins would be one and they said they wouldn’t miss it for the world. We were keeping the twins the whole months and had made arrangements for Valerie to stay with us whenever she wanted to during my parents stay. My parents were only here for a months and I didn’t want them to not have any time with Sam and Sofia. Valerie was gracious and understood. We had put their cribs in one room and a bed in the room beside.

I was over the moon. After we showered and dressed we went downstairs and Oliver cooked me breakfast. I felt like I could bounce off the walls with excitement. Oliver hugged me and kissed me. “I’m so happy you’re so happy baby,” he told me. I squeezed his hand and knew he meant it. 

“So, you talked to Karen about the Fourth of July?” I asked.

 “Yes,” Oliver said with a grin.

Oliver and I had decided to celebrate Fourth of July at our home. We had invited Karen and Steve, the English high school teacher she was still dating, and his daughters to our place for the Fourth. Karen has said Ben and Michael could stay with us so we could have them for a week and a half. Michael still remembered my mother and Karen had mentioned to Oliver that she was glad he and Ben looked at her as a grandmother figure. This made me incredibly happy. Oliver had invited Lidia and her husband and I had invited Toni and Alex. I had asked called Stacey to come, but her baby was only a month old and she told me she would rather stay home which I completely understood.

It was going to be a Fourth of July and housewarming barbecue and I couldn’t be happier. The fact that my parents were going to be here was like icing on the cake. 

We drove to LAX. We had Oliver’s minivan since we would have my parent’s luggage and we were picking up the twins after. The ride seemed to take forever even though there was hardly any traffic. Finally we were pulling in. I felt like I wanted to run to the terminal. Oliver and I stared at the board as saw my parents would be landing in less than 10 minutes.

Oliver looked at me and grinned and rubbed my back. After what felt like an eternity their plane landed and people started exiting the terminal. My stomach was a bundle of nerves. Finally I saw them. Both of them. I ran to them and wrapped an arm around each of their necks.

“Elly Belly,” my dad said. “You missed us?” I laughed and started to cry and hugged them again.

“How are you Tesoro?” My mom asked between tears.

“Perfect now,” I said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shameless plug time! I have a new fic I’ve posted. It isn’t a CMBYN, it’s inspired by The Captive Prince trilogy. If you haven’t read it, you should! If you’re interested, here it is:
> 
> [A Song Without Words](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16794829/chapters/39418582) 


	83. Reunited

It felt incredible to have my parents with me again. After hugging the for a while they turned to Oliver and hugged him as well. We gathered their luggage and walked out to the parking lot. We climbed inside and made our way to Valerie’s.

“Oh I can’t wait to see my grand babies,” my mother said. “When are Ben and Michael joining us?” My mother asked Oliver.

“They’re Wednesday,” Oliver said. “The day of our barbecue. And they’ll be with us for a week and a half.”

“Oh wonderful,” Annella said. “And thank you so much for sending us their school pictures. They’re such handsome little boys! Like their papà.”

I grinned at Oliver. “Thank you,” he said.

We did some catching up and soon enough we reached Valerie’s. She opened the door and everyone hugged Valerie, including Oliver and I. We all greeted Kelly. She asked me how everything had gone and I told her wonderfully well. I rushed to see the twins.

“What?! Look at them! They look so grown!” I said.

Oliver laughed and I reached for Sofia as Oliver picked up Samuel.

“Dada,” Samuel said. “Dada!”

“Oliver, Sam has his top teeth now?” I asked. 

“Yes and he’s an expert runner, watch,” Oliver said. He put him down and sure enough Samuel took off. Oliver chased after him and he giggled and ran and then tripped and fell and Oliver, Kelly and my mother all rushed to him and were checking him over. Oliver handed him to my mom. I looked at Sofia who looked at me who seemed bored by all this. 

“That didn’t impress you?” I asked her.

“No,” she said. I stared at her in surprise.

“Oh, that’s her favorite word right now. Ask her something else,” Oliver said with an amused smile.

“Am I your favorite dad?” I asked with a sweet smile.

“No!” She replied. Everyone laughed. She leaned into me, resting her forehead on my chin. I rubbed her back and kissed her forehead. Although both children had dark hair, Sofia’s seemed a bit darker than Samuel’s. Valerie’s hair was darker than mine. Sofia’s hair was curly though, where Sam’s was straight, with small curls at the end when it got longer. It reminded me of my father’s hair. 

I handed Sofia to my father and Valerie went and got their baby bags for us. 

“You’re not coming with us?” I asked when I saw she didn’t have a bag for herself.

“Not tonight,” she said with a smile. She motioned to me to follow as she walked to the kitchen. I followed her. We were out of earshot. Oliver and my parents were fussing over the twins. “I’m gonna go spend the Fourth with my parents,” she told me.

“Oh,” I said. This surprised me a bit. She hadn’t said anything, but then I realized I had been gone a whole month.

“I told Oliver the first week you were gone when I made my mind up, but you were on tour so I just figured I’d let you know when I saw you.”

“Oh ok,” I said. “How long are you staying?” I asked.

“I’ll be back in a week,” she told me with another pleasant smile. “Then I’ll go and stay a few days,” she said. I nodded.

“We’ll plan the birthday party then?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “Oliver and I talked about it. We actually ordered the invitations already, they’ll be ready this week, but Oliver has all the info,” she said.

“Oh, ok,” I said. I felt something weird inside my chest but I ignored it. “Ok, so you’re flying out tomorrow?” I asked trying to sound as casual as I could.

“Yes and I’ll be back next week on Monday. It’s so much cheaper to fly on week days, with it being the Fourth and everything,” she said. I nodded.

“Do you need a ride tomorrow?” I asked.

“No,” she said. “Kim is taking me but I will need to be picked up.”

“I’ll pick you up,” I said. She grabbed the small pink post it’s and pen she had beside her home phone and wrote down the flight and arrival time for me. “Ok,” I said. I hugged her again and then she hugged my parents and Oliver and kissed the twins and we left.

 

Once we arrived home, we gave my parents a tour. Oliver took super long as he held Samuel’s hands and he walked half way up the stairs. Samuel would stop and laugh after each step, as if we were playing a game. Sofia ran around the moment we reached the upstairs. My parents said they loved the home.

We changed the twins while we were upstairs and then we went downstairs and Oliver started on dinner. The conversation was light and pleasant. The twins were so lovely and adorable and it was such happiness having them and my parents. I felt great.

We pulled the high chairs around our dining table. We had one that sat eight now and we all ate dinner. After dinner, Oliver and I went and changed the twins and put them to bed. They passed rather quickly. Oliver and I went downstairs and had a glass of wine with my parents and then they retired to the guest room. Oliver and I brought their luggage into their room for them. Oliver and I went upstairs. I checked on the twins again and secured the baby gate at the top of the stairs. Although it hadn’t happened, Oliver told me he found Sofia trying to swing her leg over the side of her crib.

I then went to our bedroom. Oliver was undressing and I sat on the bed and watched him. He pulled on some sleep shorts and came and sat beside me. He kissed me. “What is it baby?” He asked. 

“I just wasn’t expecting Valerie not to be here for the Fourth. Everyone is gonna be here. Karen and Steve and Lidia. Plus we’re not just celebrating the Fourth, it’s sorta like a house warming party,” I said.

“Well, she visited quite a bit when you weren’t here,” Oliver said with a soft smile. “She loved the house and loved the twins room. She helped me pick the paint color for both rooms,” Oliver said. I knew this. Oliver had told me this during our nightly phone calls. I furrowed my brow. I felt Oliver’s fingertips on my chin as he softly turned my face to his. He gave me a look and then he began to speak slowly, carefully. “Valerie is still quite young,” Oliver said. “She loves her children more than anything,” he continued. I nodded. “She also knows we love them more than anything. She knows I love them as if they are my own, because they are, Elio, they’re my children,” he said.

“I know,” I answered softly. I furrowed my brow.

“So,” Oliver said softly. “It’s ok if Valerie goes out of town to spend time with her family. With her parents,” he said.

“Yes, I agree,” I said. I searched Oliver’s face. I knew there was more to this.

“Valerie is still young and maybe...” he drifted off. He seemed to be picking his words carefully. “Maybe she’s still trying to figure out where she fits in this world,” Oliver said. “Maybe she’s trying to decide if she fits here or if she fits in back in New York,” Oliver said.

“She can’t go back to New York,” I said. “She has her children here. How can she leave her children?” I asked. Oliver gave me a soft smiled. A realization suddenly hit me. “Has she told you she wants to leave?” I asked. “Has she said this to you? She wants to leave her children?!” I asked freaking out a little bit.

“No, no, Elio,” Oliver said. He scooted closer to me and wrapped his arm around my waist. “Elio, once upon a time you came to visit LA for six weeks and you didn’t know what the future held,” he said gently.

“Yeah but I didn’t have children, I -“

“Baby,” Oliver said in a soft tone. I stopped talking. “Let me just say this, please,” he said.

I quieted down and looked into Oliver’s eyes. “Ok,” I said.

“There was a time in your life where you felt like you weren’t sure were you fit. Some people go through that, some people don’t. Sometimes it happens in your early twenties or sometimes it happens in your thirties or forties because life is up and down,” Oliver said. I nodded. “I think Valerie is having a moment where she’s wondering where she fits, where she belongs, where she’s meant to be.”

I felt a tightening of in my throat. “With her children,” I whispered.

“She loves them, so much Elio,” he said. “But when she came to study, maybe she did it for that, to study, she wasn’t sure if she was going to stay or return to New York and maybe she’s trying to figure it out,” Oliver said.

I felt my heart thumping in my chest. “I don’t get it. She has a home -“

“We have a home,” he said, kissing my cheek. “We, you and I, have a home where the twins, if need be, will grow up safe and sound and loved beyond measure by us and by their older brothers and by their grandparents when they come and visit them and by their mother no matter where she is,” Oliver said.

“But Sofia and Samuel need their mom,” I said. “Oliver I couldn’t imagine my life without my mom,” I said.

“I know my baby,” he said softly and caressed my cheek.

We sat in silence for a moment. “She told you? Why didn’t she tell me?” I asked.

“She came over a lot in June, helped me lots with the place and we just talked and she just opened up and then last week she asked me to bring the subject up to you,” He said softly. “Please don’t take it personally,” he said looking at me with pleading eyes. “Nothing is definite either,” he said. “She’s just trying to figure it all out,” Oliver said. 

I nodded and sighed. “Ok,” I said. 

“She just said that she knew if the twins were with us they were with the best two parents they could ever have,” Oliver said.

“She’s an amazing parent too,” I replied.

“Yes she is,” Oliver said with a smile. “And this could all be for nothing. I truly also think that when it comes down to it, she won’t be able to be away from the twins that long,” Oliver said smiling. “But if she wants to give life in New York a try, then we should be supportive,” Oliver said. 

I looked at him. That’s how he felt and it made sense to me. Valerie had a right to carve the life and career path she wanted.

“We are in a situation where we can give her that, Elio, and if she does make those moves I doubt she would ever not be a mom to the twins, we would just have to plan vacations to New York and she would be coming here to visit, etc. We can do this. No matter what.”

I glanced at Oliver and nodded. “Yeah, we can,” I said. I sighed again. Oliver leaned in and kissed me again. “I love you,” he said softly.

“I love you,” I said.

I got up and changed and got into bed. He spooned me and wrapped his arms around me. My mind wandered a bit but he felt so warm and I felt so at peace that I drifted off to sleep in no time.


	84. Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to the song “Arms” by Christina Perri, and the line: ‘You put your arms around me and I’m home’ got me feeling feels, and it got me in a mood as I wrote this. Hope you enjoy!  
> <3

Our Fourth of July bbq was wonderful. Karen came with Ben and Michael, she brought Steve and his two daughters. Lidia and her husband came. Toni and Alex also arrived and my parents met everyone, people they had been hearing of and had never met. Every one was doting in the twins. Samuel seemed to love the attention but Sofia became bored of everyone after a while, so I took her to the piano and played some Chopin.

Oliver grilled his butt off and everyone had brought something or other. Drinks and pies and side dishes. It was great. Once it was past seven, little by little people started leaving. Samuel passed out first, which didn’t surprise me. The twins hadn’t had their afternoon nap. I went and changed him and put him in his crib. Toni and Alex were the last to leave and when I returned from walking them to their car I found Sofia passed out in Oliver’s arms.

He went and put her to bed. We bid my parents good night and then went and got Ben and Michael into bed as well. We all climbed on Ben’s bed and read him two stories and then Michael went into his room. He had some books he read alone and Oliver told him he could have thirty minutes and would go check on him at that time. We then went to our room. 

“Well, I think today was awesome,” I said.

“It was, wasn’t it?” He said. He leaned in and kissed me. He searched my face. “You still thinking about Val?” He asked me softly. 

I nodded. “I just want her happy,” I said. “I’m happy. She deserves happiness too,” I said.

“We all deserve happiness,” he said. I nodded in agreement.

 

* * *

 

The next days were an incredible joy. Oliver and I had all the kids and my parents had never looked happier. I had given Kelly off until Monday. The boys enjoyed the pool and both had already learned to swim in the month I had been gone. We lathered the babies up in sunscreen and Oliver and I walked around with them in the pool. It was funny to see Sofia be fearless and want to splash around while Samuel didn’t seem too interested and would cling to whoever was holding him.

We also made it to the beach, which I don’t think I would have attempted with all four children if we didn’t have four adults. Oliver was very proud of his mini van in times like this. I loved how much he loved it. It made me smile.

That Friday we were all home, having a leisurely afternoon when the phone rang. I went to answer it. “Hello?”

“Hi! Can I speak to Oliver, please?” A male voice said.

I didn’t recognize the voice. “Sure can I pleasewho’s calling?” I asked.

“Yes! My name is Gavin Woods and I work with Weston Publishing House.” 

I stood frozen for a second. “Ok, just a moment please,” I said. I turned to Oliver. He was on the floor crawling around with the kids. “Take it upstairs,” I said handing him the phone. 

He looked at me, puzzled but nodded and jogged up the stairs, phone in hand. I continued playing with the kids on the floor.

Oliver stayed upstairs for a while. I finally heard him coming down the stairs. I was on the floor with Sam in my lap. He walked over to us and sat on the floor. Sofia walked to him and threw herself on him. Oliver smiled and kissed her chubby cheeks.

“That was Weston Publishing House,” he said.

“I know,” I told him. I looked into his blue eyes. 

“Gavin said they’re impressed by my weekly column and he has knowledge of at least two other major newspapers that want a column similar to mine and are trying to find someone to write them. He said they’ve been tracking my columns and it has been mentioned in some radio talk shows and even in some late night talk shows and he thinks I should write a book ASAP!” Oliver said.

“Do you want to?” I asked. 

“Yes. Yes I do,” he said and I could tell it in his eyes, he did. I grinned.

“You can do it baby,” I said grabbing his hand and squeezing it. “It’ll be amazing!”

In the days to come, Oliver had a leather folder he would always carry with him and jot things down on. In bed at night he would sometimes write as I laid beside him, caressing him softly and giving him gentle kisses. He would always glance at me and smile and give me kisses back. 

“I know I should probably let you be,” I said softly one night, resting my cheek on his bicep and looking up into his eyes. “But you’re so smart and so sexy and the thought that you’re writing this book while naked in bed beside me, does things to me,” I said. 

He blinked and grinned. He closed his folder and put it on the night table. He grabbed be roughly and pulled me under him. “Is that so?” He asked me. 

“Yes,” I said breathlessly. I loved when he was forceful with me.

“Well, when the book is published,” he said with soft kisses along my jaw.

“Yes,” I said half moaning.

“When you’re reading chapter four,” he said kissing down my neck.

“Yeah,” I replied, panting.

“Just remember how I’m about to fuck you right now, when you’re about halfway through it,” he said. 

He kissed me hard. I moaned into his mouth. I loved when he was like this. He reached quickly for the lube and before I knew it, he had slid his arms under both of my legs and had opened me up to him. He slid in and began thrusting. 

“Fuck!” I said. I wrapped my arm around his neck and braced myself. It was intoxicating to have Oliver like this. We still had the lights on. His eyes were a beautiful dark blue. He kissed me again and I closed my eyes and then felt the gentle bites down my jaw as he thrusted in and out of me.

“Yes,” he said. I felt the goosebumps across my skin. My body was completely compliant to all his needs and wants. There was no resistance to his thrusts. He moaned as he went as deep as he wanted and needed. I moaned as well and the he kissed me and he found my mouth pliant to his. He slid his tongue inside my mouth and did as he wishes with it. I loved the way he tasted. I loved how his lips felt on mine. I loved how his body moved deep within me.

“Oliver,” he said again.

“Elio,” I replied.

We continued like this for a while. Me, opening up and him taking all he needed. It wasn’t completely selfish on his part. He pleased me greatly. He turned me on my side and wrapped his arms around me and stroked me. I came quickly. My body felt hot and sensitive and it almost felt like it was too much, the intensity with which I came. He came right after, deep inside me of. 

We laid there, panting. I loved how warm he felt against me. Once he had slid out of me, he came over and cleaned me up, gently and then he turned off all the lights and spooned me. 

“Have I ever told you how safe I feel when you hold me like this,” I whispered to him. My hand was softly caressing his bicep, down to his forearm. 

“No, I don’t think so,” he said. His voice was deep and husky. He sounded emotional. I loved it. I smiled and nodded.

“I’m warm and wrapped up in love,” I told him. “Your arms are my safe place, my refuge,” I continued. “Everything is right, everything makes sense,” I said. “When you wrap your arms around me like this, nothing could ever go wrong.”

I felt his breath on the back of my neck and I felt his lips, soft and gentle right at the base. I felt him nuzzle my hair. “I’m speechless,” he said softly. 

“That’s ok, baby,” I said to him. “Your arms do all your talking for you.” 

Even more amazing and spectacular than Oliver, the man, was Oliver the lover, and not in the sexual sense. Both Oliver and I had deep rooted needs to take care of our family and one another. There had been a shift in Oliver since we had moved to our new home and I could feel how proud he was of the fact that we were in our own space. I also felt the pride in him, now as the twins were about to turn one. The same pride as when Michael sat down to read to Sofia and Sam or when Ben played his first song on the piano.

I caressed his arms. I felt it in him now. The pride in knowing he was taking care of me, not just physically but fully, emotionally as well. “I...” he said. He let out a breath. He tried again. “You...” he stopped. 

I grinned. “You truly are speechless,” I said.

He laughed into my neck and kissed it. “I just want to give you everything forever,” he said against my neck.

“Mmmmm,” I said. “Yes.”

“Yes,” he repeated. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I replied.

It didn’t take long for us to fall asleep after that.


	85. First Birthday

Monday came and I kissed Oliver as I left to pick up Valerie. Oliver and I had talked the day before I told him I was going to try to talk to Valerie about what he and I had talked about so not to worry if we took a while. He said ok and gave me a reassuring hug and a kiss.

I got in my car and drove towards LAX. I wasn’t feeling nervous of anxious of anything I was feeling last week when Oliver and I had our talk, or rather when Oliver talked to me about Valerie. I had for a moment felt slightly hurt at the fact that she was speaking to him and not to me but I understood now. She needed to speak to someone, first off I wasn’t there. Sometimes people are finally ready to voice feelings inside them and she was ready then and Oliver was there. The more I thought about it the more it warmed my heart that she felt safe enough to speak to Oliver about this.

It also made lots of sense she spoke to Oliver about this. Oliver, after all, was half of the pair that, if she decided to leave for New York, would be full time raising her children. I let out a breath. It was ok that she spoke to Oliver. I’m glad she had. I hoped if I brought it up we could also talk about it. I would be very happy about that.

I pulled in and walked to the terminal where Valerie was landing at. I waited patiently, taking a seat. Finally, her plane landed and a while later people started walking out into the terminal. I stood up and looked around. I saw Valerie and walked to her and embraced her, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

“Welcome back,” I said.

“Thank you!” She said with a wide smile on her face. We walked to luggage claim. We chatted and she told me she wanted to go to her place so she could make a bag to bring with her so she could come stay with us for a while. We did just that. We reached her home and I took her luggage to her room. I then went downstairs and again patiently waited. I took out my cell phone and called Oliver to let him know we were at her place and my intended plans. I told him I’d see him soon. 

After a moment I heard Valerie coming down the stairs. I stood up. “Are you hungry?” I asked.

“Yeah, actually,” she said.

“Why don’t we go to lunch?” I said. “You and me. We haven’t really had time you and I to talk for a while,” I said. “I know I’ve been busy with the concerts and the CD release and we really haven’t been able to touch base and just talk,” I told her. 

“Yeah, ok,” she said smiling.

I took her bag and put it in the trunk. We got in my car and I took her to local Italian place that I like. We were seated and I smiled at her.

“How was your fourth?”

“It was good,” she said with a smile. “It was great being with my mom and dad. I saw some old friends. Showed them lots of pictures of the babies. Everyone asked me why I hadn’t brought them,” she said.

“What you say?” I asked intrigued.

“I asked them how many of them would feel comfortable dealing with one year old twins by themselves on a cross crountry flight!” She said. We laughed together. “I mean when they’re older it’ll be really nice to take them to New York, I want them to see where I grew up and spend time with my parents, you know?”

“Oh yeah,” I said. “I feel the same way about Italy.”

“Exactly,” she said. She sighed. “You’re further away from your parents and from home than I am.”

“I’m further away from my parents but I’m home,” I told Valerie.

She looked into my eyes and gave me a small smile. “You are home you’re right,” she said nodding.

The waiter came and took our order. Once he was gone I glanced at Valerie and smiled. I reached over and squeezed her hand. “Oliver told me about how you’re not sure if you want to return to New York after you’re done school,” I asked.

She nodded. “I have this year and then I’m to start an internship,” she said. “To be honest I came here to experience something different and meet different people but in the back of my mind I always saw myself returning to New York,” she said.

I nodded. “Ok,” I said.

“It’s not really something I gave lots of thought to because it seemed like I had so many years and...” she took a deep breath in and out and squeezed my hand. “And I wasn’t planning to have children while I studied,” she said with with a smile. I knew she didn’t want to make me feel bad. I didn’t. I understood.

“Yeah it was a bit of a shock to both of us,” I said. “But it happened and I’m happy it did,” I said softly. “I’ll never regret you or Sofia and Sam.”

“Oh neither will I, Elio,” she said. “Ever. Please know that.”

“I know Val,” I said. “I do.”

“Ok,” she said.

“So, you’re in the process of... figuring it out?” I asked. 

“Yes,” she said. Our food came and we paused a moment. Once the waiter was gone she sighed and looked at me. “Like I said, New York was always home, so...”

I nodded and we started to eat. We left the conversation a while and then talked about the twins. She asked me about my concerts and I filled her in. That was a bit lengthy. She asked a lot of questions. “How was it being away from them?” She asked not meeting my eyes.

I wasn’t going to lie. “Hard,” I said. “I missed Sofia walking and Samuel’s top teeth coming out,” I said. She nodded. “But,” I added. “They were with you and Oliver and I knew they were safe. And I have to provide for my children,” I said.

She looked up at me. “Exactly,” she said. “I’m not providing you know,” she said.

“Well you’re in school, so your parents pay that and I pay your rent. Your my children’s mother Valerie.”

“I know but once I’m done school then I’ll be providing too.”

“Yes and you can be a lawyer here in LA. New York isn’t the only place you can get a job at.” She froze. “I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I’m sorry, really. I don’t want to...” I sighed.

“No it’s true. I know this,” she said smiling at me. Valerie had always been understanding and easy going. It was one of the main reasons I had been so attracted to her.

“I’m sorry Val,” I said. “I will support you no matter what,” I said looking into her brown eyes. “I will always support you. I want you happy. I want you to live the life you want to live and I will do all I can to make that happen for you. Ok? Oliver and I will. We’re family. We’ll always be family because of our children. So, anything I can do, I will.”

She nodded and I saw the tears in her eyes. “Thank you I truly don’t deserve it,” she said.

“Are you kidding me?” I asked. “You took the situation with Oliver and I with grace. You’ve always been so understanding of us and I know that wasn’t easy. And you gave me my children,” I said.

She smiled. She wiped her face. “I have a family here don’t I?” She asked.

“You do,” I said. “Your part of Oliver’s and mine family.”

“That feels good,” she said.

“Good,” I said. I smiled and we ate and we left that topic of conversation at that.

 

* * *

 

Valerie had returned on July 10, so it only made sense to have her stay until the twin’s birthday in the 19. Oliver, her and I picked out one big cake for them and two smaller cakes for each baby. We bought party decorations and little goodies for gift bags. Valerie had invited a couple of friends from UCLA that she knew had children. Apart from inviting Toni and Alex I too invited a flutist who I got along very well with, who I knew had a child that had just turned one and another cello player who also had younger children.

They day off, all three of us got up and started preparing the house. “Is this what happens when you have kids?” I asked Oliver and Valerie. “You gravitate to other people with kids so your kids have friends for their birthday parties?”

They both laughed. “Until they start school and they you can invite the whole class for their birthday parties,” Oliver said. I nodded and thought that seemed easier.

“But they’re not in school in July. Ben and Michael have birthdays during the school year, though,” I said.

“And what if there is a parent you don’t like? Like what if I met a parent as I chaperone on a field trip or at a bake sale and I don’t like them much. Do I have to invite them still?” Val asked.

Oliver and I exchanged a look, as for this to come to pass it would mean Valerie would stay in California. We said nothing but continued laughing and decorating. Oliver and Valerie left soon after to get the cakes. When they came back she went and got the twins ready. The pizza place I had ordered food from came to deliver as Oliver and I were finishing things up. Oliver and I went upstairs and showered quickly and changed.

Once back downstairs, the twins were changed into their outfits, Samuel in a little suit and Sofia in a fluffy dress and head bow. Valerie had gotten button that clipped on their clothes that said ‘Birthday Boy’ and ‘Birthday Girl.’ They were incredibly adorable.

The party guests started coming soon. Karen arrived before everyone with Ben and Michael. Steve came, obviously, and had his daughters. People started rolling. The place felt pleasantly full soon enough.

There were kids running around and playing in the backyard. We had the pool gated, which was a great idea Oliver had had. I had the Nikon Oliver had gifted me for Christmas and had a wonderful time snapping lots of pictures. I made sure I had one of each member of the family holding both twins. My mom took the one of me holding them.

A couple of hours later, Valerie and Oliver started opening the presents while they each held a baby. I was still taking photos. About halfway through Oliver and I switched. He went to get the cake ready. After the presents we all sang happy birthday. Toni told me she would take the pictures so everyone including my parents had pictures all around the cake.

When the singing began, Sam loved it and clapped by Sofie started crying halfway through and sought out Oliver. Once she was calm her and Sam were given their little cakes and they squished them and made a mess. I got tons of pictures. Valerie and my mom handed cake out to everyone.

After the cake everyone was mellowed out andsome people began to leave. We were keeping Ben and Michael for another week and a half which was great. Eventually everyone started leaving and Valerie handed out party favors and goodie bags for the kids. The party had been great. The twins were tired they were passed out and then Ben and Michael had their nighttime routine.

After the kids were settled we all went downstairs, my parents, Oliver, Valerie and I and had some more cake and just sat around the living room and chatted.

“This is a great house you picked out, Oliver,” Valerie said during a moment of quiet. “Now here with everyone in it, it feels cozy even thought it’s so roomy.”

I smiled and looked up at Oliver. He had a beautiful smile on his face. “With everyone in it, it doesn’t feel like a house it feels like a home,” he said.

We all chatted a bit more and then went to our bedrooms. Oliver and I climbed in bed and held each other right.

“That was great,” I said. “I can’t believe my babies are one.”

“I know,” Oliver said. He kissed across my face and I loved it. I closed my eyes and let myself drift off to sleep. 


	86. Moving On

The rest of July seemed to fly by. The time spent with all the children at home and with Annella and Samuel was amazing. Valerie had the twins the day the Perlmans left and so Elio and I went to drop them off at LAX.

“This was far too quick,” Elio said. After he had tearfully said goodbye to his parents.

“I know baby,” I said softly. I squeezed his shoulder gently. We walked to the parking lot, got into our car and drove home.

 

* * *

 

The first week of August the orchestra had a guest pianist come in and so Elio got an extra week off. It was music to my ears.

“One more week with you,” I said rolling around on the bed with him when we found out the day after his parents had left.

“Yes,” he said as we kissed. “How’s your book coming along?” He asked.

“Good!” I said. “I was more inspired than even I thought I would be. It’s so easy to write. It feels great, it’s flowing. I’ll be done in a couple of weeks,” I said.

Elio looked at me in surprise. “Wow,” he said.

I nodded. “I think it’s the fact that you find me sexy when I write and want to cuddle up to me and touch me and kiss me and fuck me,” I said with a grin.

Elio laughed and rolled on top of me. “I can’t help it, I have the sexiest husband in the world,” he said. I froze and so did he. He blushed and I knew I did too.

“What did you call me?” I asked softly. He shook his head and tried to get off me. “No, Elio,” I said. I grabbed him. My heart was racing. “Look at me,” I said when he wouldn’t meet my gaze. He did after a moment. “Say it,” I said softly. I was surprised by how much emotion there was in my voice. He was too because he turned to face me quickly. “Say it again,” I said. I wanted to hear it. I wanted to hear the words come out of his lips and refer to me as such. I didn’t know how badly until that moment.

He swallowed. “I’d marry you if I could,” he said. His voice was deep and husky.

“So would I,” I said. I felt the sting of a tear at the corner of my eyes.

“No, don’t cry,” he said. “Oliver, don’t cry.” I wiped my eyes quickly. He sighed and laid his cheek on my chest. “We’re not the only ones in this situation,” Elio said softly.

“I know,” I said, surprised at how much this had touched me. It’s not that I wasn’t aware of this, it just had never quite hit me like this.

“I’m sorry,” Elio said. “I -“

“No, no please,” I said. He lifted up and looked into my eyes. “Please don’t apologize for calling me your...” I drifted off. 

“No, of course not,” he said. “You are,” he said softly. “We have a home, we have children. You’re my husband,” Elio said again and I loved the blush on his face.

“You make me so happy,” I said and I pulled him to me. I squeezed him tight.

He hugged and kissed and whispered to each other that night. He meant the world to me and I didn’t want to think that the world we were in just wasn’t accepting of us. It hurt but I didn’t want the pain of it to linger. I caressed and kissed him and we whispered later into the night. Eventually, we grew drowsy. I pulled him to me and soon enough, we fell sleep.

 

* * *

 

The following day I got up before Elio and went down to start cooking him breakfast. The phone rang. It was Karen. “Hey!” I said. “How’s everything?”

“Good!” She said. “Good, good how are you guys?” She sounded a little breathless. She was either nervous or anxious.

“We’re great,” I said. I waited.

“So,” she said. “I was wondering if maybe you wanted to join Steve and I for a little get together, or dinner or something?” She asked.

I thought about this. “You know,” I said, “Elio is actually off for this week, and we weren’t expecting it, so, if you want, you guys could come over today. Samuel and Annella are gone, it would be nice if you came. I can invite Valerie,” I said. “We could have all the kids and just have a nice family afternoon,” I said.

“Yeah!” She said. “That sounds amazing. What time?” She asked.

“How about 3?” I said.

“Ok!” She said laughing. “See you later!”

“Later!” I said. I hung up and called Valerie. I knew Kelly would be at her place by now.

“Hello?” She asked.

“Hey, Val, it’s Oliver,” I said.

“Hey! How are you?” She asked.

“Good,” I said. “Listen, Karen just happened to call and we sorta made some impromptu plans, her and Steve are coming over with the boys and his daughters. I was hoping you were free so you could come over as well.”

“Yeah, I am and that would be awesome! What time?” She asked.

“I told Karen around 3,” I said.

“Great. We’ll be there,” she said.

“Ok, wonderful.” We said good bye and hung up. I smiled to myself. The day was suddenly looking really great.

 

* * *

 

Once Elio awoke, he ate breakfast and I filled him in on the plans that had been made while he was sleeping. “Well, ok!” He said and grinned. I went leaned in and kissed him as we ate at the kitchen island.

He ran his hand over the counter top. I looked at his handsome face. “You said the kitchen island was sturdy,” I said remembering when he had come back from his month away.

“Yeah,” he said, smiling at the memory. “Yeah it’s a really sturdy kitchen island.”

I laughed. I reached for him and laced his fingers with mine. “We’re gonna have an awesome day. I love when all the kids are together,” I said.

Valerie was going to have to twins for the whole week since they have been in our home all of July. “Me too,” Elio replied.

Once we were finished eating, we cleaned up the dishes and took off for the grocery store. It took a while since we planned to have so many people over. Once we were done, we went back home and I got busy preparing the food I was going to grill.

Karen and Steve showed up at around 3:15. Ben and Michael ran to hug Elio and I and Steve’s daughter’s were as sweet as always. We hadn’t truly moved into the house when Valerie showed up with Kelly and the twins. Karen was ecstatic. Her and Valerie hugged and she held both the twins at once.

“I can’t get enough of these babies!” She told Valerie.

We all walked in and the kids started played. I went outside and started preparing the grill. I was surprised when Steve stepped outside behind me.

“Need any help?” He asked me.

“Ah... not really,” I said smiling at him. I liked Steve. He was a decent man and treated Karen well. I was happy they had met.

“Ok, well, mind if I stay out here a bit?”

“Not at all!” I said. We chatted for a moment. He asked me how the book was coming along. We had been there a good while, I had finished the first round of food I was grilling and he was holding the plate for me as I put the food on it.

“So, Oliver,” he said.

I looked at him.“Yeah?” 

“So Karen and I were going to start looking for a place to move into... together,” he said.

I glanced up at him. I nodded. “Ok,” I said. “You’re going to stay around Thousand Oaks?”

“Yeah,” he said. He seemed to let out a breath when he noticed I was very ok with the idea. I didn’t know why he wouldn’t think I wasn’t since he was in mine and Elio’s home. But I just smiled to show him it was all ok. 

“Ok, well, if you need anything, let me and Elio now. Moving sucks!”

“It does,” he said laughing.

“How are your daughters taking it?” I asked him.

“Oh, they love Karen. So much. They can do all kinds of girly things that dad knows nothing about,” he said. I laughed. “And Karen likes having little girls to do girly things with.”

I grinned. “Well, Sofia is the princess at home, but Elio and I are being conscious and making sure Samuel gets as much attention,” I said. Steve laughed and nodded. I thought about what he said, the girls enjoying having Karen to do girly things with. “Your ex-wife, does she live close by?” I asked.

He took a deep breath in and out. “She moved to Colorado and...” he drifted off and shrugged. I stayed quiet. “I talked to her back in June. She called the girls the day after their last day of school,” he said. “We’ll see if she calls Labor Day weekend.”

I nodded and squeezed his shoulder. The second round of food was ready and Steve held the plate for me as piled the rest of the food on. “Did you bring bathing suits for the kids?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said smiling.

“Ok, I was thinking later on when the sun isn’t so hot the kids could get in the pool,” I said.

“Yeah, they girls love your pool!” He said. “Apartments mean sharing a pool and more than once they ask to come to your place and swim in your pool!”

I looked at him. “Steve! Bring them! I mean I know it’s a 45 minute drive but if you have the time, you are more than welcomed!” I said. He looked at me a bit surprised. “Listen, I’m glad you and Karen met. She looks happy. You look happy,” I said. He nodded. “And if your daughters are going to be future step sisters to my sons they can come use my pool any time,” I said.

He laughed. “Thank you,” he said. 

“Anytime,” I told him. I cleaned up around the grill. “Alright lets go inside.”

“Oliver,” he said.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“I hope I’m not...” he shook his head. “I just want to say that you and Elio are amazing parents. Together and with the way you two involve Karen and Valerie. You’re two fine men separate and two amazing men together.”

“Thank you,” I said.

He nodded. “Ok, this smells great,” he said. “If you get tired of being a professor or writer you should open up a restaurant!” He said chucking.

I laughed. “Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind,” I said. We walked towards the house and made our way in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DARLINGS: I won’t be posting for a week from Dec 25 to Jan 1. I will be back on January 2nd with a chapter to ALL my fics, all my CMBYN fics and my Captive Prince fic. I wish you all a very safe and happy Holiday season! Best wishes to you and your loved ones and family and many blessings for the New Year!  
> Hugs!  
> <3


	87. News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver’s POV

The Christmas of 1992 was the first Christmas we spent in our home and Elio and I had a lot to be thankful for. I had gotten a call from the publishing house the day before my birthday that August to tell me my book would be released in October. There was a meet and greet arranged that would take place at the Borders in Westwood Village. The LA times heavily advertised the book and so all my colleagues and students became aware of it before I had a chance to tell them. It was exciting. I got calls asking for interviews for a couple of talk radio shows. It was a bit of a whirlwind and Elio just took a step back and let me experience it all.

Lindsay offered some advice but she then gave me the card of a friend of hers that dealt specifically with authors and said if I felt I needed someone to manage me he should be the one I called. For the moment I felt ok but I thought if something came of all this I’d give him a call.

The book was a success. Elio also released a third holiday album. He and Toni also released a children’s CD of lullabies. It was an amazing Christmas. 

Karen and Steve did indeed move together. For Thanksgiving they were invited, along with Steve’s daughters and, of course, Valerie to our home. Overall that holiday season seemed like a start to a happy road for our family, immediate and extended all around.

1993 rolled around. There was some buzz in the entertainment world when Melissa Etheridge came as gay at the beginning of the year. I remember how Elio froze and watched the tv screen when Entertainment Tonight reported it. We looked at one another but didn’t say anything about it. 

Ben turned five in March of 93 and Elio took off for Europe in April. Kelly practically moved in with me on the weeks I had my sons. Beginning of May the publishing house said they wanted to offer me a three book deal and I called the manager Lindsey had suggested. His name was Adam and I liked him the moment I met him. Elio was back in May and we invited Adam for dinner and I decided to bring him on as manager and he started working out my book deal. I was excited. Michael turned eight in May. Elio toured the US in June and again Kelly stayed with me whenever I had the boys. 

During that Fourth of July, Karen and Steve told us they wanted to buy a home. They said they were planning to stay in Thousand Oaks. Elio brought up the subject of private school.

“Michael will begin third grade this fall. I would really like him to get in before Michael’s middle school age.” 

This wasn’t a brand new subject and it didn’t shock Karen. “The school is close to here though, isn’t it?” She asked.

Elio took a deep breath. “I could arrange for the boys to be picked up and dropped off,” Elio said. “Or they could be with Oliver and I and we could work out an schedule you felt comfortable with.

I was amazed to see Karen didn’t say no. “How soon do you need to know?” She asked.

“Tuition has to be paid by August 5th,” Elio said. “There is an open house next week. We can all go and take Michael.”

“Ok, let’s go to the open house,” Karen said.

Karen, Elio and I attended and she was impressed, but most important of all, Michael loved it. He was enrolled first week of August.

I decided to take the first semester off and focus on my writing. I had gotten a handsome advance on my books and so I felt good taking the time off. 

Life went on. In the years to come, Elio’s albums would make his name more recognizable and my books made my name more recognizable as well. We guarded our private lives and our children’s lives as much as we could. Michale flourished in school and Ben was enrolled the following year. The boys were pretty much living full time with us and went to Karen on the weekends and during school breaks since she and Steve always had the same holidays off. Karen and Steve married in the summer of 1996. Sofia, who was almost 5, was a flower girl with Steve’s daughters. Michael who was 11 was a best man along with Steve’s bother, Ben, 8 and Samuel were ring bearers. Surprisingly, Karen asked Valerie to be her maid of honor. Valerie never left LA. She had gotten a job with Latham & Watkins, considered the best law firm in LA.

 

* * *

 

It was April 30, 1997. The day would become engrained in my memory. There was buzz because Ellen Degeneres was going to air an episode where she would be coming out as gay on national tv. The weeks leading up to this had led Elio and I to have some interesting talks.

“Back when I was at the beginning of my career, when I first was getting interviewed and we decided to avoid personal questions it made sense. Now I see people like Ellen and I wonder if times are truly changing?” He asked me. “Or this could just ruin her career.”

I took a deep breath in and out. “I don’t know,” I said. “It’s hard to say, to be honest,” I told him. “When I’m signing books for people, I don’t really ask myself if they would care who I’m sleeping with,” I told him honestly.

“If we didn’t have kids, I wouldn’t give a fuck,” he said and I knew he meant it.

April 30, 1997 was a Wednesday. The kids had six weeks left of school. The twins were about to finish kindergarten, Ben was in third grade and Michale in sixth. Michael was about to turn 12 in less than a month. As the oldest, Michael was amazing. He was patient and kind with his younger siblings and was a very well behaved and compassionate child. Elio, Karen and I were extremely proud of him. We were all sitting down to dinner. Michael, Elio and I had noticed, talked about Jennifer, a classmate of his, a lot.

“She likes your music dad,” he told Elio. 

“Does she?” He asked.

“Yeah, she has a little sister, the twin’s age and they play both of your lullaby CDs, she said her mom and dad have seen you in Europe.”

“What do her parents do?” Elio asked.

“Her dad works for Warner Brothers and her mom -“

The phone rang. We normally ignored it at dinner time, but Adam was to contact me and likewise, Elio was waiting to hear from Lindsey about some concerts he was to play in New York in November. I got up to answer.

“Hello?” 

A pause. “Oliver. It’s your father.” 

I stayed perfectly still. It took me a moment. “Hi,” I finally said. I saw Elio stare at me.

“Your mother had a stroke this morning.” Another pause. “I think you should come. I think you should bring your sons.”

There was more said but I didn’t remember much and I hung up and it somehow felt as if the phone call hadn’t happened. Elio was right beside me. “What is it?” He asked me softly.

“My mother had a stroke,” I said.

 

* * *

 

It was decided I would take Michael only. We would fly out Friday and be back Monday so he would miss minimal school. Karen was ok with that. I knew Karen, like Elio, wanted to ask me about the situation but they both respectfully gave me space. I wasn’t even sure what was waiting for me in New England.

The night before I was to fly out, I was packing. It still didn’t feel real. I zipped up my suitcase and sat on the the edge of the bed. Elio came and sat beside me and held my hand.

“I love you,” He said. I looked at him. 

“I’ve loved you for fourteen years and we’re raising four children together and she knows nothing more than your name,” I said.

He nodded and shrugged. “Doesn’t change who I am or what we have,” He said softly. 

I felt a bit numb and I hated feeling that way. I leaned in and kissed him. I don’t think he was ready for the hunger I kissed him with. His eyes winded a bit in surprise but he gave into me. I undressed him pretty quickly. I bent him over the side of the bed and roughly fucked him. It felt good. I felt I needed it. I loved him so much and it eased me to take him this way. Once I came, I got down in my knees and took him in my mouth. He was so perfect. He was just as perfect as he had been the first day I met him. More, actually, because now he was a father, an accomplished musician and the best person I knew. I had chosen him well.

When he came I swallowed it all and he stroked my hair and face. His hands were as soft as always. I laid my head and his lap and cried. He slid down on the floor and held me. He didn’t say anything until I was calm.

When he finally spoke, his voice was soft. “If for some reason your father says something that makes you doubt or question the quality of man you are, Oliver, look into Michael’s eyes. You’re his father. His hero. He’s told me more than once he wants to be just like you when he grows up. You don’t have to worry about being the perfect son for your parents. It’s now about being the best dad. You’re not going over there to try to make peace with them. If anything, they should have to answer to why they want nothing to do with their only son and two grandchildren.”

I smiled as I leaned on him, on the floor beside our bed. “You’re getting just as good as your father with those profound little speeches,” I said.

Elio chuckled. “Well I have a man by my side who inspires me to be my best everyday,” he said and kissed me softly.

I let out a deep breath and suddenly felt lighter. “Thank you,” I said.

 

* * *

 

Michael and I boarded the plane the next day at 2:45 pm. That was the earliest flight we found short notice. Elio, Michael and I had lunch together and tried to keep the mood light. Elio then went and dropped us off. Kelly was picking up all the kids from school. We hadn’t told Ben or the twins about my mother but we did tell them Michael and I were taking a trip as we dropped them off at school in the morning. Elio would handle whatever questions they had that weekend.

 

Michael was by the window and I tried to not look so worried for his sake. I had my leather folder that I wrote in, Michael had a Discman and I tried to not think too much about where we were going. I felt a tightness in my chest when I thought of New England and the home I grew up in.

“Dad,” Michael said softly.

“Hmm,” I asked glancing his way.

He furrowed his brow and pressed his lips into a straight line, a gesture that was all mine. “Mom told me,” he said softly.

“Told you?”

“I called her last night. You and dad Elio and every one was in bed and I went downstairs and called mom and asked her why your dad doesn’t come visit us like Grandma Annella and Grandpa Samuel.” 

My heart thumped on my chest. “What she say?” I asked. 

“She told me to ask you but I said no that your mom had a stroke and you had a lot on your plate but I wanted to know.”

I looked at my son and he suddenly looked so grown up. He was getting taller. He was easily the tallest boy in his class. He still had the roundness in his face of a boy, but, it sunk in, he was almost 12. I thought of me at 12... I had had my first crush on a boy at 12. It dawned on me that Michael would be able to pick up on what the situation was. I knew I would always be honest with my children.

“Did she say?” I asked.

He nodded. “Your mom and dad don’t like that you and mom divorced. They don’t like that you are with dad Elio,” he said.

“Yes,” I said. I felt a shift inside of me. I had dreaded this trip because I only saw the conflict between my parents and I. Parents disappointed in their only son. It was a heavy burden that easier to bear when they were on the other side of the country. Suddenly, that was not my focus. My focus was my oldest son. He was about to come face to face with what I had run away from. I had to protect him and be his father. I had no time to worry about me or wallowing in my own pity. Like Elio said, the burden of explaining why this rift existed in my family was not mine time bear or fix, but I didn’t want to affect Michael and it was my job to protect him from it.

“Yes,” I said. “They don’t like me and dad Elio together. They’re not the only ones, though. Sadly. Many people don’t like the thought of two men or two women together and having a family.” 

Elio and I would sometimes bring the subject up. We wanted to make sure no one was bothering the boys for it in school. So far we had been lucky and it hadn’t been an issue. 

“Yeah, some kids at school say stuff but never like about having two days, they tease some boys sometimes but not often. In my class there is another boy with two dads so,” he shrugged. “Plus, I have a mom. The other kid has no mom but I have a mom and like 10 other kids have parents that are divorced,” he said with another easy shrug. It was funny how his shrugs reminded me of Elio.

I took his hand and squeezed it. “Michael,” I said. “I brought you because I am an only child and you are my oldest son,” I said. “My father, your grandfather, will want to see you and talk to you but I’ll be right there and if he says anything you don’t like, you don’t have to listen to it,” I said.

“Ok,” he said and put his headphones back on. I went back to my writing.

 

* * *

 

Michael and I took a cab from the airport to the hotel and ordered room service for dinner. I called Elio and then I called my father. We had enough time to maybe go to the hospital that night, but I didn’t want to be out too late and honestly, part of me still wanted to avoid seeing my father. One of the housekeepers answered and told me he was in the hospital. I called the hospital.

“Hello?”

“It’s me,” I said. “Michael and I are here. We’ll be by tomorrow after we have had breakfast.”

“Just Michael? Your mother could die. She deserves to see both her grandchildren.”

Anger surged through me. “Planes always flew both ways,” I said. I noticed Michael was watching me intently. “I’ll see you tomorrow after breakfast.” I hung up. 

 

* * *

 

 

I had a knot in my stomach and hardly slept all night. Our room had two queen sized beds but in the middle of the night Michael had crawled into my bed. He seemed to not be able to sleep either. He tossed and turned but finally fell sleep and so did up. My alarm clock seemed to go off the moment I closed my eyes. 

I got up and showered and ordered room service for breakfast and woke Michael up. He showered and ate and then we took a cab to the hospital.

“So is your mom awake?” He asked me. 

“I’m not sure,” I said. “My father talked about her seeing you so I’m assuming she is.”

He nodded. “Hopefully she doesn’t have a bunch of tubes and stuff,” he said making a bit of a face. 

“If she does and it weirds you out, you don’t have to see her,” I said. He nodded. We seemed to reach the hospital quickly enough. We got out and walked in. My mother was still in ICU. I felt my heart thumping as Michael and I rode up the elevator. I stood behind Michael, my right hand on his right shoulder. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. It was time. 

We walked out. I kept my hand on his shoulder. He was out in the hallway, my father. He saw us and froze. He was tall, but I was taller. I didn’t look much like him. I looked like my mother but it suddenly hit me how much Michael looked like him, now that he was older.Except my son had kind eyes. Kind green eyes. Green like Elio’s. Green like Karen’s. They weren’t the icy blue his were.

Michael and I stopped. He looked at me for a good five seconds, without saying anything and then turned his gaze to Michael. I instinctively pulled him close and fought the urge to throw him over my shoulder and run. 

“Michael,” He said extending a hand. “I’m your grandfather. Arthur. Nice to meet you.”

Michael shook his hand. “Nice to meet you Arthur,” he said. 

“Call me grandfather,” he said. 

Michale nodded. “Alright,” he said.

My father looked up at me. “It’s a shame it took this tragedy for you to think about visiting us with your son,” he said.

“Planes fly both ways,” I said.

“You know we can’t go there.” 

I clenched my jaw. “I’m not here to discuss that with you. What’s the prognosis on mother?” I asked.

He let out a breath. “It was lucky I was home when it happened and I rushed her here. She’s awake. But speech is slurred. She has a notepad she’s writing on to speak.” He sighed. “But she’s not out of the woods yet,” he said. “Being the ICU, only two people can go in. She’s expecting you,” he said. I nodded.

“So no tubes in her?” Michael asked.

“No, no tubes,” My father said. “Go on, I’ll wait out here.”

I glanced at Michael and he nodded at me. I could hear my heart pound again. I reached for the room door, my hand still on Michael’s shoulder and stepped inside.


	88. Memory Lane

Michael and I slowly walked to my mother’s bed. She looked small. Very small. Her eyes were closed but she looked up when we walked closer. I hadn’t seen her in over 10 years. She had aged.

She look at us. “Ben,” she said slowly.

“Ben didn’t come,” Michael answered.

“Why?” She asked, slowly. She was struggling to speak.

“He’s young and wouldn’t understand what a stroke is, but I do,” Michael said again.

She nodded. She picked up the pad and pen and after a while showed us. _You look so much like your grandfather._ She wrote. I could see the proudness in her eyes.

“Thank you,” Michael said politely.

 _School?_ She wrote next.

“I’m in sixth grade. I’m on the Dean’s list,” he said proudly. “I love to write and I won a writing competition for sixth graders that was state wide,” He said.

My mother narrowed her eyes at him.

Michael grinned, absolutely misreading her expression and I felt a tightness in my stomach. “I’m going to be a professor and writer like dad,” he said proudly. It was true. Michael loved the fact that I gave lectures and loved the fact that I wrote. He would write too. Short stories and poems. He loved to read his poems to his siblings and constantly made up bedtime stories with the twins that he would write and they would draw pictures for and he would read them at night with them. Michael was amazing.

My mother nodded her head. She glanced at me. “Karen?” She asked. 

“Oh mom got married last year. My step dad’s name is Steve. He’s a high school English teacher and he helps with my writing too!” Michael grinned at my mother. 

She shook her head this time. At that point a nurse came in and asked us to step outside. We did and my father went in. He came out in a few minutes. “They’re taking her for an MRI,” he said. He looked at Michael. “How would you like to see the house your father grew up in, Michael?”

“Yeah!” He said looking excited.

“Oliver?” My father asked. I nodded.

“Ok, let’s go, we’ll be back after lunch,” he said and off we went.

 

* * *

 

I sat in the back seat with Michael and I was surprised my father didn’t say anything. It was a little comical, he being alone up front as if he was chauffeuring Michael and I around. The long driveway and gated entrance hadn’t changed. He parked and we stepped out.

“Well, Michael, isn’t it nice and big?” My father asked.

“Well, our house is nice and big too,” he said. I said nothing and let him talk. “Jennifer has the biggest house in our class though, her dad works at Warner Brothers and her mom does plastic surgery.”

“Hmm,” My father said. We stepped inside and walked to the living room. It was as I remembered. The navy blue upholstered couches and the grand piano which was ridiculous because no one in the house played.

“Do you play?” My father asked Michael as he stared at me. 

“Not me but Ben does. Dad Elio’s been teaching Ben since he was a baby. He’s really good isn’t he dad?” He asked me. I nodded and I saw the way my father tensed.

“That man is not -“

“Enough,” I said. I didn’t raise my voice. I said it calmly. Michael stepped closer to me and I put my arm around him. I looked at my father. “I will only say this once,” I said to my father. “You will not say anything negative or derogatory about Elio. Not now, not ever. Not in front of us.” 

“This is my home,” My father said. “I make the rules here.”

“Then Michael and I will be leaving,” I said and took hold of Michael’s hand. He walked with me willingly. Once outside I took out my cellphone. I had a business card for the local cab company.

I heard the front door open and close. It was my father again. “Let Richard drive you back to your hotel. Come see your mother again tomorrow at the same time.” He said, his face void of expression, and then went back inside.

A man stepped out and Michael and I followed him to my father’s car. He drove us back to hotel room. Michael and I rode in silence.

 

* * *

 

My anger rose the closer we got to the hotel. Once there, we stepped out but didn’t go inside. “Well, since we’re here,” I told Michael. “We’re gonna have some fun!” Michael grinned. 

I got the doorman to hail Michael and I a cab and we drove into town. I took Michael to my favorite burger place. “I used to come here every Friday,” I told him. It was a wonderful 50s themed diner. Michael looked around and smiled. We ordered burgers and milk shakes. The town was quaint and we could walk around now. I took him to a record store and he bought the Tragic Kingdom album by No Doubt.

“Gwen Stefani is pretty,” he said.

I grinned. “She is,” I said. 

We walked around and I pointed places out to Michael. We then hopped a cab and drove to my old high school. There was a baseball game going on and Michael and I went and sat in the bleachers. We cheered for the home team and they ended up winning. We filed out with everyone else when it was done.

I took out my cell phone and called us a cab and we were back to our hotel room. Once inside he listened to his Tragic Kingdom CD and I called Elio.

“Hey,” He said.

“Hey baby,” I said. 

“How is it?”

“Strange,” I answered. Michael was singing along softly to his music. “Michael looks so much like my dad. I never noticed it,” I said. 

“Hmm, well he’ll always look like you and Karen to me,” Elio said. I smiled.

“He’s too good for this,” I said. “Michael is too sweet and too good for their manipulative ways,” I said. 

“So were you,” Elio said simply and it took everything in me not to cry. We talked a while more. Finally we said good bye.

“I love you, see you soon,” I said.

“Love you more. Can’t wait,” Elio whispered.

We hung up. I sat still for a while and when I glanced over at Michael I saw he had fallen sleep. I went over and gently took off his headphones and shoes. He was bigger but he still had the same baby face he always had. The same face he had had at 3, at 6, at 9. He looked just like Karen now. It had bothered me I had seen the resemblance of my father in him because my son was so good and so pure. 

‘So were you,’ Elio’s voice came to me. I sighed. I took my shoes off and laid down beside my son. I watched his chest rise and fall and soon enough I too fell sleep.

 

* * *

 

My phone was ringing and it awoke me.

“Hello?”

“It’s your mother.” It was my father. “She’s gone.”

 

* * *

 

I was back in my parent’s home the next day. My father was taking care of everything and the news had gotten around and extended family and friends were coming by. I had called Elio and told him.

“The funeral will be Tuesday. Michael and I will fly back Wednesday.”

“I’m sorry baby,” he had said. I would have given anything to have had him with me... but he couldn’t be. I made sure Michael was feeling ok though.

“How you doing buddy?” I asked him. He was looking around at all the grown ups crying and hugging my dad.

“What will she look like at the funeral?” He asked me softly.

“Her casket will be closed buddy,” I told him. He nodded. 

The day wore on. Finally by about 4 pm everyone seemed to be gone. My father was sitting on the couch and I went and joined him. Michael had found the books my father kept and he was on an arm chair with three.

“What you got there Michael?” My father asked in his booming voice.

“The Secret Garden, Black Beauty and The Indian in the Cupboard.”

My father nodded. “You like to read?” 

“I’m gonna be a professor and write books like my dad one day,” he said.

My father glanced my way. “You write?” I nodded. “You never said,” he told me. “Your mother and I had no idea.”

I looked at him. I knew they had no idea. Just like how they had no idea about the loving home we had for our children. We stared at one another. He shook his head.

“Your old room is available,” he said. “Stay here, no need to stay at a hotel.”

My whole being panicked at the idea of being overnight inside these walls... but my mother had just died and I figured I could suck it up for a couple of nights. “Ok,” I said.

 

* * *

 

The following day, Michael and I checked out of the hotel and Richard was waiting to drive us to my father’s home. My father and I went to the funeral home. Michael was there with his Discman and Black Beauty. We were finalizing plans. Once it was all done we all went home. We sat down for dinner. My father at the head of the table like always.

Michael seemed ok. He was reading Black Beauty as he ate.

“So Michael, what do you like to do for fun?” My father asked.

“I write. A lot. Sam and Sofia have just learned to read so I write stories for them and then they draw the pictures.”

I felt coldness spread through me. “Sam and Sofia?” My father asked looking at me.

“My baby brother and sister. The twins,” Michael said looking at my father like he had two heads.

“You have one younger brother. Benjamin.”

Michael furrowed his brow. He was very protective of all his younger siblings. “They’re mine and Elio’s children,” I said. “Michael has three younger siblings.”

Silence.

“Excuse me, I’ve lost my appetite,” my father said and got up and left. Michael watched him go.

I reached over and grabbed Michael’s hand. “You ok buddy?” He nodded. But he closed his book and finished his dinner in silence.

That night we called home early so Michael could talk to Ben, Sam and Sofia. He was happy and excited. We were downstairs in the living room and he was talking to Sam when my father walked by. Michael had his back to him and never saw him behind him.

“Yeah tell dad to read from the monster part. Sam. Sammy. Sammy. Lemme talk to dad. I said, lemme talk to dad.”

My father stood there listening to Michael. He wouldn’t meet my gaze.

“Dad. Hi. I miss home. Just two more days though. Two more days. Hey. Hey. So Sammy and Sofia made it to the monster part. Where he’s going up the castle tower. And Sofia reads one page then Sam reads the other. Have them take turns ok, dad?” 

I couldn’t help but smile as I looked up at my son from where I was sitting on the couch. He had the biggest heart. I was so proud of him. “He’s right here,” Michael held out the phone.

“Dad Elio wants to talk to you.” 

I took the receiver and looked towards the entrance of the living room. My father was gone.

 

* * *

 

Michael was sleeping soundly beside me. We were in my old room. This room was as it had been when I had been in high school. High school hadn’t been easy. I dated girls and mastered how to hide being me. It felt like a lifetime ago. I thought of Elio. Of us. I shook my head. My old clothes were still hanging there. Nothing had changed within the walls of this room. The air seemed heavy inside, heavy with oppressive memories and feelings of not being good enough. It was suffocating. When I left here Wednesday I hoped to never see this room and this home ever again.


	89. The Last Time

Thank goodness Elio had been smart enough to make me bring a suit for Michael and for myself. Of course, they were black. One of the housekeepers steamed them for us Tuesday morning.

I was numb. I truly was. This whole place made me feel numb and made me want to hide myself. This is what this home was to me. A reminder that I could not be me. Not here. That’s all this was.

Michael had finished Black Beauty and had The Indian in the Cupboard now. He sat in the living room waiting with me for my father. He finally came downstairs.

“Guess when I die you’ll want this place,” my father said when he had made it to the living room. Michael looked up from his book and looked at me. I looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile. I turned to my father.

“This is your home. I have mine. You do whatever you wish to do with this place,” I said.

“Michael, would you like to live here some day?” My father asked.

“No I like California and dad’s right, we have our own home.” He returned to his book.

My father didn’t say anything.

“Come on, Buddy,” I said. He got up and we walked out the door. It was time for the funeral.

 

Michael was apprehensive of the casket being open and was relieved when he finally saw it was closed. I zoned out slightly during the funeral. My father didn’t speak and neither did I. My mother’s cousin and a friend of hers did. There was sniffling and crying but my eyes remained dry. I felt incredibly detached. As I watched the coffin being lowered, I put my hand on Michael’s shoulder. I did it because I felt if I didn’t I might just float away. It a strange feeling.

 

Again, there was a large crowd of people at my father’s home. Michael stayed out the way and read. Someone had a young child and I saw Michale chasing them around a little some time later.

“What a wonderful boy! He’s so good with children,” the woman said. I had no idea who she was.

“He’s the oldest,” I said smiling and was actually happy she didn’t ask for more details when I remember where I was. No one here knew the real me. They only knew half my story.

Finally everyone left and we were having dinner again. “Can we call home again?” Michael asked as we ate.

“Yes,” I said.

My father sat silent. He didn’t speak until we were about to get up and call home.

“Michael, those little children are not your brother and sister. Your only sibling is Benjamin.”

I felt the anger in me and the only thing that probably saved my father from me loosing it was Michael.

“Yes they are,” Michael said looking at my father strangely. 

“That’s enough!” I said looking at my father. He ignore me. His eyes fixed in Michael.

“No, they are not. They -“

“I said ENOUGH!” I yelled slamming my fist down on the table. Michael was wide eyed. He had never seen me upset. I got up. “Come on, son,” I said.

Michael got up and I reached out for his hand. We went upstairs and I started packing. “We leaving tonight?” He asked me. I could hear the relief in his voice.

“We’re leaving tonight,” I said. This was the last time I will ever step foot inside this house, I told myself.

 

* * *

 

I had called Elio and asked him to call the airline. He didn’t ask me why he just said ok. I packed everything up. In less than 20 minutes he called me back and said we could catch a red eye. He had switched it for us already. I let out a sigh of relief. This nightmare was over. 

I called a cab. I looked at my watch. 7:13 pm. I got our luggage, Michale had his back pack and we were ready to go. We exited the bedroom and jogged down the stairs.

I was on edge. I looked around expecting to see my father but he was no where to be seen. We reached the front door and stepped outside. Michael and I sat at the front steps.

I took a deep breath in. “Wanna talk about it?” I asked.

He shook his head and looked at me. “Do you?” He asked.

I thought about this. “Well, when something hurts you or bothers you, son, I want you to know you can tell me,” I said.

“What about when it hurts you dad? Would you tell me?”

I reached up and rubbed his head. “Well I’m the dad, I’m the one who’s supposed to take care of you,” I said softly.

“Remember what Grandpa Samuel always says?” Michael asked me. I looked at him. Suddenly outside with the moonlight on him, his dark hair and green eyes made him look like Elio. I smiled. It was funny how sometimes my mind did that. He at times reminded me of Elio and at other times of Karen.

“What?” I asked softly.

“Family should always take care of each other,” he said.

I smiled as I nodded. “Grandpa Samuel is a very, very wise man,” I said.

I saw the headlights of the cab. We got up and I put our bags in the trunk and we climbed into the back seat.

We sat quiet for a while. “Dad,” He said quietly.

“Yes son?” I asked.

“Maybe we don’t have to tell dad Elio anything your dad said,” he said softly.

I looked at him. “I’m sorry Michael. I’m sorry he said the things he said,” I told him. I felt horrible.

“It’s ok,” he said. “It’s ok.”

“That’s my line,” I said giving him a smile. He rolled his eyes at me and I laughed. If there was ever a moment in my life I wanted to hate my father it was that moment. He had no right to impose his hatred and cruelty on my son. I sighed. Deep down though, all I wished was to be loved and accepted by him. I couldn’t do that for him. But I could do that for my son and that gave me its own kind of healing. “Michael,” I said.

“Yeah?” He asked.

I smiled at him. “I want you to know that I am so proud of you,” I said. “I’m proud of who you are as a person. I’m proud of the big brother that you are. I’m proud of how you love Ben and Sofie and Sam,” I said.

“Thanks dad,” Michael said, huge grin on his face.

“Most of all,” I continued. “I’m proud to be your dad.” I reached over and squeezed his hand. “I understand you don’t want to tell dad Elio because you’re afraid to hurt his feelings,” I said softly. He looked at me and nodded once. “But I will tell him, ok? Dad Elio and I tell each other everything. Don’t worry, ok? He won’t be sad or hurt and if you ever want to talk to dad Elio about anything my father said, you can. Don’t worry about him being sad. Don’t worry about bringing it up to him. Dad Elio already knows how my father is.”

I glanced at Michael and he nodded. “Ok,” he said. 

“I won’t say anything to Ben or the twins though,” I said. 

He looked at me and nodded. “They’re little,” He said.

I nodded. “Yeah,” I said. “Thank you, Michael,” I said.

“You’re welcome dad,” he said.

 

* * *

 

Michael fell sleep for most of the flight which I was beyond grateful for. He leaned against me and that brought me peace. We landed at LAX at 2:57 am. I was so grateful to be home.

The moment I saw Elio’s face, everything felt right. We hugged and then he hugged Michael. We got our bags and walked out to the parking lot. We got to our minivan and climbed in. Michael laid out in the back row. I grabbed Elio and kissed him quickly. He smiled at me and then he drove us home. I held his hand the whole way.

Once home, we very quietly walked inside. Elio had told me on the ride here that Kelly had come the night before when he called her.

“If she had said no, I was ready to call Toni and Alex and if they had said no I was ready to pack all the kids up and bring them,” he said. I chuckled. I loved him so much.

Michael passed out the moment his head hit his pillow. I was glad. I went and looked in on Ben and then I looked in on Sam and lastly on Sofia. Elio stood at each doorway as I went room to room. Finally, Elio and I then made our way to our room. He helped me undress and just held me a moment. With him in my arms it almost felt as if the last several days hadn’t happened. My father’s home in New England was nothing more than a haunted home in one of Michael’s bedtime stories.

I climbed on the bed and he turned my bedside lamp off and then his. He crawled towards me and pulled the covers back. He straddled me and I fixed the covers around his waist. He leaned in and kissed me and held my face in his hands. “You ok?” He asked, whispering softly. 

I took a deep breath. “I still feel numb,” I said. He pulled back and looked at me, nodding as he caressed my face. “She was there and seemed to be ok, improving then she was gone the next day but...” I took a deep breath. “Well, the only mother I’ve had the last eight years has been yours,” I said.

Elio have me a sweet smile. “Yeah,” he said softly. I reached up and caressed his face. Even at 31, he still had his boyish charm. I don’t think he would ever grow out of that.

“Oh!” I said, whispering excitedly. “You should have heard Michael! Quoting your dad!” I said. I chuckled at the memory.

“What he say?” Elio asked, his eyes widening.

“He said, you know what grandpa Samuel always says, family means taking -“

“Care of one another,” Elio finished laughing softly.

“Michael is such a good kid,” I said.

“They all are,” Elio said. “Michael is the perfect big brother and he has his writing. Ben is amazing at math, he’s going to be in gifted classes next year because he’s so good at them and he’s amazing at the piano,” Elio said. I smiled. “Have you seen the way Sam draws?” Elio asked me.

“Yes!” I said recalling the illustrations he made to the stories Michael would write for him and Sofia.

“Sofia,” I said grinning at Elio.

Elio chuckled. “Your Little Princess, apart from learning the violin really well is better at catching and throwing a baseball then all three of her brothers,” he said.

“Valerie played softball in high school,” I said.

Elio nodded. “Yeah she did and she’s very competitive, guess I never noticed it since her and I never competed at anything but I see it so much in Sofia.” 

We looked at each other and laughed. “They’re all wonderful kids,” I said.

“We’re doing something right,” he said.

I pulled him in and kissed him. “Yeah,” I agreed. “We’re loving them,” I said. “I’m so proud and happy of our family,” I told him. 

“So am I baby,” he said. He kissed me slowly. “I missed you so much,” he said, murmuring as he kissed me.

I closed my eyes as my body began to respond to his kisses. “How much?” I asked breathlessly. My heartbeat was already accelerating.

“Let me show you,” he said.

And so he did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m on tumblr
> 
> [StarFromPhoenix](https://starfromphoenix.tumblr.com) 


	90. Full Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The last three chapters that dealt with the death of Oliver’s mom were set at the end of April and beginning of May of 1997._   
>  _We now move to 2001._   
>  _This is Elio’s POV._   
>  _Enjoy!_

Michael turned 17 in May of 2001. He had asked for just one thing for his birthday: to spend the summer in Italy with my parents.

I remember talking to Oliver when he had asked us at the beginning of the school year while he was still 16. He had a speech prepared, which was very Michael like.

“I have always wanted to spend a summer in Italy and I believe this is the best summer to do it in, the summer before I start my senior year. Next summer will be hectic since it’ll be the summer before college so I may have to spend it preparing _for_ college, so this will be my last carefree summer.”

“Your last carefree summer?” I had asked. Michael was 16 going on 36, but this had always been him.

He had kept up his grades and we never had an issue with him. When it came to school, though, there really weren’t issues with any of our kids, just each child had their own personality.

Ben would complain that his classes and teachers were boring. We believed him. He did extremely well in school and we felt he wasn’t being challenged enough. His teacher told us once in high school he could do advance placement or ever take classes from a year ahead and hopefully this wouldn’t bore him so much. Oliver ended up getting him a tutor and he began high school level math and science at the beginning of the school year. He turned 13 in March and would be begining his last year of middle school. Oliver planned to continue with the tutor.

His piano skills were also exceptional but he did it for fun and told me he didn’t see himself becoming a musician like me. I asked him what he would like to be, he told me he would figure it out when he got there. That was typical Ben. He was 13 going on 14 and he took his extreme intelligence in stride. I was proud of how he never seemed to rub it in with anyone. When he was complimented on how smart he was he just shrugged and said thanks with a side smile that looked just like his father’s. At 13 he was beginning to grow and it was obvious he was going to be taller than Michael. 

Sofia, at 9 years old was super organized and took school and her violin playing very seriously. Michael and Sofia reminded me so much of each other in how they needed to have their lives in order and had to plan everything out. Her teachers would actually tell me they felt like she was their assistant helping kids out and answering their questions in class. “She would make a great teacher,” they often said and she liked to hear it. She also loved to boss her brothers around at home.

Oliver and I never pressured any of our kids to be the best in class but that was something Sofia just did herself. She had a competitive streak that surprised me for her age and she always wanted to be the best at whatever she was doing. I realized that drive came from Valerie. I was proud of her but reminded her she should also take it easy on herself.

Samuel couldn’t be any more different than his twin sister. He was clearly the class clown, loved making everyone laugh and was friendly and was very well liked. He kept good grades though and even when his teachers told me of the little pranks he pulled, even they laughed. He was a kind hearted boy and didn’t have a mean bone in his body. I would tell him to take things a little more serious though.

Oliver and I did indeed buy Michael a ticket to Italy once Karen okayed the idea. We talked it over with my parents and they were more than happy to have him. He would be leaving last week of June and coming back mid August so he could be back for Oliver’s birthday. Since he would be missing the twins turning 10, he said he wanted them to have an ‘advanced’ birthday party for them with Michael. Cake and all. It was us and Valerie. We would have the ‘real’ party for them on their actual birthdays and the only presents they got in the early birthday party were the ones Michael had gotten them. I found the idea sweet. I was so proud of Michael.

 

* * *

 

The night before Michael was to leave Oliver and I were laying in bed talking about it.

“I was his age when I met you,” I said to Oliver. I looked at his profile. He would be 43 that August and it was hard to tell. He kept fit and took wonderful care of himself. He didn’t look any older than mid thirties and he was just as sexy as the summer I met him. His hair and skin still golden.

He glanced at me and raised his eyebrows. “God,” Oliver said. “I can’t believe your father didn’t kill me for deflowering his 17 year old son!”

I laughed and sat up. “Well... I made sure the deflowering happened,” I said grinning. I shook my head and thought of Michael. “But yeah,” I said. “Now that I think about it, my parents always let me make a lot of my own choices. I don’t know how I would feel if Michael came home and said ‘I fell in love. Here she is! I’m marrying her one day.’” Michael had had a couple of girls he had taken to the movies and bought some Valentine’s Day gifts for. It was all sweet but nothing had seemed more than innocent high school crushes.

Oliver nodded. I saw the half smile on his face. “We wouldn’t stand in the way though.”

“Oh no, no,” I said. “No. First love is...” I trailed off and looked at him.

His eyes softened and he reached up and caressed my cheek. “It’s amazing,” he said. 

I nodded. I slid closer to him. He pulled me close and kissed me. “I’m so in love with you.” 

I grinned and I pulled myself up on to him. “And I with you,” I said. We began to kiss. Deeply. I felt a soft moan escape my lips as he kissed down my neck. “Your lips still give me butterflies,” I said.

“Good,” he said. “And you still get me so hard.” 

_Knock knock knock_  

I let out a breath. “Whichever one of you it is, you should be in bed!” I called out.

“Dad! I need a bigger luggage!”

“Check in Ben’s closet! He has an extra one and it’s empty!” Oliver called out.

“Ok, thank you.”

“How is he not packed yet? That’s so surprising you’d think he would have been packed weeks ago,” I said to Oliver.

Oliver laughed. “I think he’s just over excited,” he said. We began to kiss again.

_ Knock knock knock _

I groaned and fell onto Oliver’s chest. “What is it?” Oliver called out rubbing my back up and down. It felt so good.

”Daddy! Ben is throwing his ball against my wall again and won’t stop!” It was Sofia.

“Why does he do that?!” Oliver said angrily looking at me.

“Because she always reacts,” I said.

“How could she not react?” Oliver said and I knew he was getting up. We got up and dressed and walked out. Oliver walked out first. As I came out I saw he was carrying Sofia towards her bedroom. I followed after them. 

Michael was coming out of Ben’s room with the luggage. “I’m surprised you’re not packed yet, son,” I said. 

“Oh I was. I’m repacking in a better way.”

I nodded. “Ok,” I said. 

“Benjamin! I’ve told you not to throw your tennis balls at the walls when Sofia is in her room. If she’s not there fine but the moment she’s in there and especially the moment she asks you to stop, you stop! Do you understand?”

“Yeah, ok,” he muttered. He was standing at his doorway and didn’t meet Oliver’s eyes.

Oliver turned to carry Sofia to her room and I saw her stick her tongue out to Ben.

“Hey!” I said angrily. Her eyes widened and she burried her face into Oliver’s neck. 

Samuel’s door opened. “I’m trying to get my beauty sleep!” He said. 

“Sorry, Sam. Go back to bed,” I said as I walked Ben back into his room.

I closed the door behind me. “Benny,” I said. “Dad has already asked you to not do that before. Why would you do it again?”

He shrugged.

“Benjamin.” I said more sternly.

“It’s relaxing,” he said looking at me. “It’s relaxing to me and sometimes when I can’t sleep it’s relaxing.”

“Throw the ball against that wall,” I said pointing to the one that was the opposite from the one he shared with Sofia’s room.

“I was,” he said.

“I’m sorry. But you have to understand she finds it annoying.”

“She’s annoying. Like Michael. They need to loosen up.”

I took a deep breath in and out. “If it was you and she was playing her violin loudly and keeping you up and you asked her to stop and you didn’t, you’d be angry too and would be telling me or dad.” 

He shrugged again. I walked over and ruffled his hair. “Why not just throw it up and down as you lay in bed. If it’s the catching that relaxes you just throw it up and don’t hit anything,” I said.

He nodded. There was a knock. “Come in,” Ben said. Oliver walked in. Ben let out a sigh. “Dad and I already talked,” he said softly.

“Ok,” Oliver said. He walked in and sat on the bed beside Ben. “I’m sorry if I snapped at you earlier, Ben, but I really don’t like to have to repeat myself over something I’ve specifically asked you not to do.”

“I know, sorry dad,” Ben said. 

“Please, let this be the last time we have this happen. You can throw your tennis ball when Sofia isn’t in her room. And when you hear her ask you to stop, stop. If she’s listening to music or playing her violin or whatever and she doesn’t care then whatever. But, she shouldn’t have to ask you more than once. Likewise if you wanted to sleep and she was playing music or her violin and you asked her to stop and she did not I’d be having this talk with her. Ok?” 

“Ok, dad. I’m sorry,” he said. 

“Ok, kiddo,” Oliver said and leaned in and kissed his head.

I walked forward and kissed his head as well. “Night Benny.”

“Night dads,” he said. I smiled. I liked when our kids called us that.

We walked out to the hallway and we saw Michael’s door was ajar. We walked to it and I knocked on his door. “Come in,” He said. Oliver and I walked in. He had folded clothes in piles on his bed.

“Need help son?” I asked.

“No, dad, thanks,” he said. “I know exactly how I want it.”

“Ok. We’re leaving at 7:15 tomorrow,” Oliver said. He and Karen were seeing him off. I was staying home with the other kids.

“Think Ben and twins will be up before I leave?” Michael asked.

“Are you kidding me?” I asked him grinning. “They wouldn’t miss seeing their big brother off,” I said and Michael nodded and smiled. “Ok, we’ll leave you to it.”

“Night, son,” Oliver said.

“Night dads,” Michael replied.

He grinned at me and I grinned back. Oliver and I walked out. 

Oliver and I walked towards our room. I turned the hallway lights off and then followed Oliver inside. He grabbed me round my waist. 

“Where were we?” Oliver asked me.

I grinned up at him. “You were talking about how hard I make you,” I said wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him deeply.


	91. Love

Oliver and I walked to the bed, kissing and undressing. I moaned as he kissed down my neck.

“Baby,” I said softly. “Let me fuck you.” I began to undress and watched as he undressed as well. “I swear you just get sexier and sexier,” I said.

“Oh yeah?” He asked me, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh yes,” I said as I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. We pulled apart. “Get on the bed,” I said. I watched as he did as I asked. I walked over and got our lube and climbed back on the bed. He was looking at me, giving me a sexy half smile. “What?” I asked.

“You know what I want for my birthday right?” He asked me.

I laughed as I crawled over to him. “Yes,” I said.

“All day. All day Elio.”

I grinned as I crawled on top of him. “Yes, Oliver,” I said in a low whisper. “We will fuck all day. All day. You’re going to fuck me and I’m going to fuck you. We will fuck until we can’t fuck any more. All day. I promise.”

“Good,” He said. “Good.” He grabbed me and kissed me.

“But it’ll be the day after because the day of we have to do what each child has planned for you,” I said to him.

He laughed. “Yes. But I expect to be woken up in the best of ways.”

“Oh, don’t worry, baby, you will be,” I said as I grabbed his face and kissed him. It was rough. I needed him. The last few days had been crazy. All the kids were out of school and we had been getting them settled for the summer and on top of everything, he also had his writing and the lectures he still did at UCLA and I had a full schedule playing concerts downtown. Finally we had tonight and we had both been home and we were going to make the best of it.

I slid down as I kissed and licked and bit his skin. I ran my hands all over him. I reached down and stroked him. He groaned as his hips lifted off the bed. I looked up at him as he lifted to his elbows. We locked gazes as I rolled my tongue over his head. I slid him into my mouth. He tasted so good. I closed my eyes and took as much of him into my mouth as I could. I stroked the rest. I loved his moans. His groans. His gasps. The way his hands slid into my hair and grabbed my waves and curls. I had it semi long right now. I would let it get down past my ears then cut it shorter but I always enjoyed a bit of length so my curls showed. I knew he liked them.

I sucked him for a while. I slid him out and kissed his inner thighs. He still jogged avidly and it showed. He also had began lifting weights in his late thirties and he had bulked up on his chest and biceps and he kept his hair pretty short at my suggestion and he was just so fucking sexy.

I licked and kissed his inner thighs. Biting them gently. He softly chuckled because he was ticklish there. I knew his body as well as I knew mine. I loved every single inch of it. I spread his legs further and crawled to him and bent his left knee up.

“Should I go soft or hard?” I asked him.

“Both,” he said grinning. 

“Oh you want the Perlman treatment?” I asked with a huge grin on my face. 

“Yes please,” he said. He shook his head and laughed with the cutest smile on his face. He always did this. Said something brazen and then shook his head and blushed slightly as if he shouldn’t have said it and was suddenly shy about it. I loved how he did that.

I slid a couple of pillows under him and slid inside him as quickly as I humanly could. I laid my hands on his muscular chest and began to slowly move in and out of him. I squeezed my fingertips into him as the sensation of being in him was all I felt. It was intense and had only gotten more amazing through out the years. 

“You feel so good,” I said and I slowly and deliberately moved in and out of him.

He groaned and leaned his head back. “You feel amazing,” he said breathlessly.

“Mmmm,” I said as I went just a little faster. “I wish I could I fuck you every second of the day,” I said.

He grinned at me and furrowed his brow as I went in just a bit deeper. I ran my hands up the sides of his body and up his thighs. I caressed them a moment, along the sides and front and then went faster still. I leaned forward into him. I was going at a good speed but wasn’t going in too deep.

“I like that,” he said softly. 

“Good,” I said and kept it like this for a while. “I love you,” I said as I leaned down and kissed his chest.

“I love you more,” he whispered.

“Impossible,” I said.

“You can’t say that on my birthday,” he said panting.

I grinned. “We’re a month and a half away from your birthday,” I replied and picked up my speed even more.

I gazed down at him as I went faster and deeper. I loved how he looked, I couldn’t tear my eyes away. He was softly groaning each time I’d thrust in. It made me only want to be deeper in him.

“So good,” he was saying softly between groans. “So good.”

It thrilled me how much I was pleasing him. I reached for his erection. He was so hard. He gasped as I began to stroke him. This was the best feeling ever. He was getting close. I could feel the tensing of his body all around me.

“You’re so sexy,” I told him and I saw him smile at this. I grinned and leaned down and gently sucked on one of his nipples. He groaned and I went in a bit deeper. I reached down and stroked him more and soon after he came. It felt so good. I came as well. I watched him as he writhed underneath me. I laid on him and we laid panting for a while. 

I finally got up and grabbed a towel for him to clean up. I got back in bed and we cuddled together.

“I can’t believe I’m about to be 43,” he said.

“You make it look good,” I said grinning down at him. He was laying on my chest. He looked up at me. 

“Do I?” He asked. 

“Mmhmm,” I said. “Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? I meant it when I said you are sexy.” I grabbed his chin and kissed him.

He chuckled. “I don’t feel any different then when I was your age,” he said.

I nodded. “Well 36 is a good age,” I said. We laughed. “I don’t feel 36 either,” I said. “I don’t feel much difference the last 7 or 8 years either.”

“Well, lets hope it stays this way,” he said. “Can you imagine when the twins are 17?” He asked. 

“In 7 years. Michale will be 24 and Ben 20,” I said.

“My god. Grown men,” he said.

I smiled and thought of them. “Ben is so smart, has he told you he wants to work for National Geographic’s?” I asked looking at Oliver.

“He told me that two days ago that’s the first time he’s every mentioned a career of sorts,” Oliver said.

I nodded. “Not like Michael who has always wanted to be just like his amazing dad,” I said smiling.

Oliver grinned. “Maybe he and I can write a book together,” Oliver said softly.

I felt my eyes widen. “Baby that would be great!” I said

He nodded, looking so happy. “I actually told him he should publish the books he wrote with Sofia and Sam. Have Sam illustrate them. I think they would be fun!”

“Yeah it would be!” I said. We had kept all the books they had made. They were too precious to throw away.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hmm?” I looked down at him.

“You’ve read about the civil union laws they’ve passed?” Oliver asked me.

I took a deep breath in. “Yeah,” I said slowly. “Yeah, there are some activist groups that want it revised so that anyone in a civil union has the same legal rights as a married couple,” I said.

Oliver nodded. “That would be good,” Oliver said. “If they do that, would you...” Oliver glanced up at me.

I felt a clenching in my stomach. “Yes,” I whispered. “Yes, of course. I wouldn’t think of it twice.” I leaned down and we kissed. I wrapped my arms around him. “Maybe soon,” I whispered. “Maybe soon we can have the real thing.”

“Yeah,” Oliver said. We looked at one another and he cupped my cheek with his hand. I felt his thumb caress my skin. We leaned in again and kissed more. I settled in his arms and closed my eyes. I felt him kiss my cheek. “Did you set the alarm?” He whispered.

“Yes I did, baby,” I replied.

“Of course you did,” he said, squeezing me tight. “You’re perfect in every way.”

I smiled as I nuzzled his neck and closed my eyes and went to sleep.

 

* * *

 

“Michael, did you pack the paintings I made grandma and grandpa?” Samuel asked.

We were sitting around having a very early breakfast before Michael and Oliver took off for the airport.

“Yes, I did.” Michael said.

“And the tape I made of me playing violin?” Sofia asked.

“Yes, Sofie, I did,” Michael said.

“Guys can we let Michael eat please,” I asked.

“We’re not going to see him for six weeks!” Sofia said. “That’s almost all summer.”

“I’ll be back before you know it,” Michael said smiling at Sofia.

“Make sure you call, ok?” Benjamin said softly.

I glanced over at him. I knew he was going to miss his big brother. They all would. Michael was a very responsible young man. Now at 17, we could trust him to look after his siblings whenever I had a concert and Oliver had a guest lecture. Although, if he could, be would go to Oliver’s lectures and now, since the twins were almost 10 and Ben 13, I could take them to concerts or to a recording studio. Oliver and I tried to accommodate Michael as much as we could since he had decided to study philosophy just like Oliver had. We, obviously, were very proud of him.

“I have something for you,” Benjamin said. He got up and ran back upstairs.

“What is it?” Michael asked looking at Oliver and I.

“I don’t know son,” Oliver said.

Ben came back, jogging down the stairs with a box in his hands. As he got closer I saw it was a box of a Nikon camera. “I bought this with the money I got for my birthday and my allowance,” Benjamin said. He handed the box to Michael.

“Ben I can’t accept this,” Michael said looking shocked.

“Ok, well, I wasn’t going to give it to you, but let you borrow it. I had the SD card in there already. You can fit over a thousand photos in there. Take a lot,” Ben said.

“Ok, Ben. I will make you proud. Although your photo taking skills are so much superior than mine,” he said.

“Oh, wait look,” Ben said. He turned the camera on and started pressing some buttons. “Here,” he said giving it to Oliver. “I took some pictures of Sofie while she practiced the violin a couple of days ago.”

Sofia sat up looking proud. “We went outside to the backyard. Ben said natural light works best,” she said sounding serious as if she was an expert at lighting.

“Oh these are beautiful,” Oliver said. He handed me the camera and I looked through the photos. Indeed they were. Sofia had her eyes closed and he captured several beautiful pictures. The bright blue sky behind her and the beautiful greenery of the shrubs in our backyard all bright with the gorgeous afternoon sun coming down on them.

“Wow, Ben,” I said. “These are wonderful.”

Ben grinned. “Thanks.”

“Hey! Take one of all of us before Mike leaves!” Sam said.

“But Ben should be in it too,” Sofia said.

“It has a timer,” Ben said. “Ok, come on everyone.”

We all got up and got together in front of the table. Ben checked and told Oliver and I to kneel down. Sofia sat on Oliver’s bent knee and Michael squatted and grabbed Sam and Ben came and knelt down beside me. “Say cheese!” Ben said.

“Cheese!” We all said and the camera flashed. We laughed and got up and Ben checked it. 

“Oh this is good!” He said and he passed it around.

I looked at my watch. “Ok, you two will have to go soon,” I said.

“Ok, I’ll go put your bags in the car,” Oliver said and walked out of the dining room.

Sofia bursts into tears. Michael picked her up and hugged her and Sam went and hugged him and Ben wrapped his arms around everyone. I watched them and felt as if my heart could burst.

Oliver came back inside and found them all hugging. He glanced at me and we put our arms around each other.

After a while the kids broke apart. I took Sofia and she clung to me burying her face in my neck. We all walked to the door and then out to the drive way. Michael hugged all the kids again. I hugged him and kissed him on the forehead.

“Behave, ok and listen to your grandparents and call us when you get to the villa.”

“Yes, sir,” he said.

Oliver leaned over and we kissed. “Be safe driving,” I said.

“Yes baby,” he said. 

Michael and Oliver walked to the car. Sofia slid down my arms and hugged me and I held on to her. I saw Sam lean on Ben. Ben put an arm around him and it suddenly hit me how tall Ben looked. I looked at him. He was looking more and more like Oliver as he got older. His hair had stayed golden and he glanced at me and smiled and his blue eyes looked just like his dad’s. 

We watched as as Oliver’s mini van drove down our long driveway and into the street and turned out of sight. 

“Ok, guys. Let’s go back inside,” I said.

We walked back in quietly and Ben and Sam went and finished their breakfast. Sofia asked for hot chocolate and I made her some and began clearing the table. I was thinking they would go back to bed but didn’t. They watched some tv and then changed out of their pajamas. Ben got on the piano and Sofia grabbed her violin. Sam said he would draw them and grabbed his sketch book.

This is how they were when Oliver came back home. His eyes were red and I could tell he had cried. I hugged him and we sat down on the loveseat and enjoyed the music Ben and Sofia were playing. Michael kept sketching.

“We got some talented kids,” Oliver said.

“I know,” I said.

“Well we have artistic dads,” Sam said.

We looked over at him. “Yes,” I said grinning. I thought for a moment. “Did someone tell you that?”

“Yeah, our teacher,” Sam said, meaning his and Sofia’s teacher. “She always talks about how well I draw and she knows Sofia plays the violin and Ben plays piano and Michael writes. She said it’s in our genes.”

I nodded and smiled. “Sounds about right,” I said.

“It sure does,” Oliver said and kissed my cheek. I leaned into him as we watched Sofia and Ben play.


	92. Birthday Party

The twins 10th birthday was an exciting affair. Their whole class was invited and they all came. There were games in the backyard and Oliver grilled hotdogs and we also had pizza and lots and lots of ice cream and instead of one big cake we had two smaller ones so that each twin had their own. Of course all the girls ate from Sofia’s princess cake and all the boys ate from Sam’s Pokémon cake.

 The kids were all eating cake and I finally sat down with some cake myself, Princess cake because it was marble and not all chocolate like the Pokémon one. I was looking around. We had had some parents that stayed while some had just dropped their kids off. Sam and Sofia were due to begin fifth grade in the fall and almost all the kids in their class were children they had known since kindergarten and so some parents were more than fine with just leaving them for the birthday party.

Oliver was in the dining room with one of the moms. It was the mom of some little blond girl with pigtails. Kelly. Kaitlin. Something like that. The mom was clearly flirting with Oliver. She was laughing at everything he was saying and leaning in and touching his arm and then touching her own hair. I took a deep breath in and out. This happened more often than not. Either they thought he and I were just ‘roommates’ or they thought he and I could be ‘turned’ and would fall in love with one of them. It was slightly amusing but deep down I disliked it. 

“Hey,” I heard behind me. I turned. It was Valerie.

“Hey,” I said grinning at her. She glanced over at Oliver and the blond married mom flirting shamelessly with him. 

“Wow, she’s trying pretty hard,” Valerie said.

“Maybe she’s hoping she’s his type,” I said. I sounded more annoyed than I had wished.

“Oh come on, don’t let it bother you,” she said, rubbing my back. 

I smiled at her. “No I know,” I said. “I can’t help but not wish it didn’t happen though,” I told Valerie.

“Dad!” It was Benjamin. “Tyler and Robert are here. I’ve had enough of these munchkins. Can we go to my room and play with my PlayStation?”

I saw his two friends behind him. “Yes,” I said. I saw Robert had taken a pizza and Tyler had a 2 liter of soda and some cups and plates. “Please don’t make a mess,” I said.

“We won’t Mr. P.,” Tyler said. I nodded. I watched them go. He stopped by Oliver and Oliver said something to him and then they kept walking. I looked at blond married mom and she put her hand on Oliver’s arm again.

“Well, it’s cute you both still get jealous. He was jealous of that opera singer you played a couple of concerts with. The one last year,” Valerie said. 

I looked at her. “What?” 

“You couldn’t tell, dork?!” Valerie said looking at me as if I had two heads.

“Excuse me, I’m no dork,” I said. “A lawyer of your caliber shouldn’t be using such a word.”

She laughed. “It’s a legal term,” she said.

I shook my head, grinning, and glanced back at Oliver. He was trying to get away and blond married mom kept taking steps towards him as he took small steps back. “Was he really?” I asked. I glanced at Valerie. 

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, to be so blindly in love,” she said. We both looked at Oliver and I heard Valerie giggle when a kid came and asked Oliver for something and he eagerly took his hand and walked off leaving blond married mom with her hands on her hips. “Elio, I’m in love,” Valerie said. 

I whipped my head around. “What? You are? I didn’t even know you were dating!” I said.

Valerie blushed. “Yeah, I mean, he’s a lawyer too and well we spend so many hours at work so we normally stay at the office or grab dinner but, yeah, we have been doing it since like November of last year.”

“Valerie. Wow. That’s great! What’s his name?”

“Zachary,” she said. I could see the huge smile on her face. She glanced up at me. “I thought maybe it was time he met Sammy and Sofie,” she said.

“Yeah totally,” I said. “Can I meet him first though?” I asked.

I felt my heart thump in my chest suddenly. Valerie, I knew, dated here and there and I wanted her to find someone special but her job was so demanding she had never quite found anyone that seemed to understand how much she worked. Another lawyer made sense. Plus they worked together. But suddenly, I imagine the twins spending time with Valerie and another man and I got a little nervous. Oliver and I had mostly had the twins. Summer time Valerie always took two weeks off and they stayed with her but it had always only been just Val. Never anyone else.

“Yes. Yes, yeah, actually maybe you should first,” she said. She looked at me with her brow furrowed. 

“Would he be up to a double date?” I asked.

“Yeah I’m sure,” she said. “He knows about our family,” Valerie said smiling.

I let out a breath. I nodded. That made me glad. “Great,” I said. I put my arm around Valerie.

“Mommy!” It was Sofia. “Mommy can I put on the bathing suit you got me? Michelle and I wanna go swimming. She can borrow one of my suits.” 

“Sofie, this wasn’t a pool party,” Valerie said. “No one else is going to be swimming and unless you have a suit for all the other girls and Sam has trunks for all the boys, no one is going to be swimming.”

“Aw!” Sofia said looking upset. I saw her looking around.

“Daddy will say no as well,” I said knowing she planned to complain to Oliver and hopefully get her way. She stomped her foot and walked off. 

“I wonder if I was that stubborn,” she said with wide eyes.

“You probably were she’s like a mini you,” I said laughing.

“That looks just like you,” she said. “They both look so much like you but her specially. All elbows and knees like my mom says,” Valerie said laughing.

I laughed back. I sighed. “I’m happy you’re happy Val.”

She bit her bottom lip. “Don’t jinx it,” she said. “Let’s see what happens a year from now.”

 

* * *

 

Oliver and I collapsed in bed. The party had been a success. All the kids were gone by 7 pm. Ben’s friends stayed an hour or so longer. Oliver and I had cleaned up as much as we could. The good thing about tonight was the twins were wore out and Ben was mellow with no tennis balls being thrown at the wall.

I glanced over at my alarm clock. It was 10:24 pm. I glanced over at Oliver. “It was a good day,” I said.

“Indeed it was,” Oliver said rolling to his side and pulling me to him. He got up on his left elbow while his right hand slid inside my shirt. He smiled down at me. I smiled up at him. He leaned down and kissed me. I slid my right hand up the back of his head. 

We began to undress quite quickly. I felt Oliver kiss and gently bite down my neck. I moaned softly. I felt Oliver turn me over. I got up on my hands and knees. I felt the excitement in my stomach. That always happened. The anticipation of having him fill me was still the same after all these years.

I placed my right palm against the headboard. I felt Oliver’s hands at my hips. “You are so sexy,” he said, his lips at my ear. I felt him kiss down the back of my neck and across my left shoulder. “I love your skin so much baby,” he said as his hands caressed my body. I felt him enter me. I moaned and lowered my head as I closed my eyes and felt my body adjust around him. He stayed still a moment.

I felt him begin to move his body, slowly, in and out of me. I moaned at how good it felt.

“Is that good?” He asked as he pressed his fingertips into my skin. 

“Yes,” I said.

He reached around and took hold of my erection, stroking it along to his rhythm. I gasped in pleasure. He took his time. I felt his whole length slide in and out of me. It felt amazing. After a moment he began moving a bit faster. He placed both his hands on my hips again and held my hips tightly. I felt his his thighs against mine, the feel of all of him as he slid in and pressed his body against mine. I focused on the pleasure he was giving me.

“Fuck,” I said as waves of pleasure spread through me. I felt goosebumps all over my skin. He went faster now. Harder. I was panting harder as was he.

“You feel so damn good,” Oliver said as he gently bit my back. 

“Ah,” I said laughing softly as I arched my back. It was ticklish. He laughed and began to fuck me hard and fast. I groaned as I braced myself against the headboard. It felt incredibly good, feeling his body slam into mine and feeling his grip tighten on me more. I loved the way he grunted and moaned. The way he kissed my back and sucked on my skin. I felt his teeth as they dug in as well. I groaned. He was going even faster now and harder. He reached around and began to stroke me again. I put my hand on top of his and squeezed his fingers with mine. We came together. He pulled me close to him as he slid in as deep as he could. He held me tight for a while as we panted and began to calm down.

He was giving soft little kisses across my back. It felt wonderful. After we caught our breaths we cleaned up and laid back in bed. He was holding me close.

“I saw that mom hitting on you,” I said chuckling. I glanced at him.

“She wasn’t subtle was she?” He asked shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

“No,” I said. I let out a sigh. “It’s annoying how they do that. I feel there’s a group of them that have bets to see who’s gonna bring you back out of the dark side,” I said.

Oliver let out a laugh. “I don’t think there’s a conspiracy,” he said. I grinned up at him. He looked up at the ceiling. “Not as serious as that opera singer you recorded that song with and did concerts with last year,” he said. “She was just over the top and it was fucking annoying,” he said. 

I had noticed and had just ignored it and made sure her and I were never alone together. I had been taken aback by her behavior and had told Lindsey I never wanted to work with her again and I told Lindsey why. “She was,” I said. “I’m sorry.” 

“No, I’m sorry. I’m almost 43 and we’ve been together 18 years. I shouldn’t be jealous.”

“You should be. As I was earlier,” I said. He looked at me. “If we weren’t, I mean, not insanely jealous but that feeling of, that’s my man, what do you think you’re doing flirting with him,” I said turning to my stomach, propping myself up on my elbows and looking down at him. “I think that’s ok. I think it should be expected.”

“Yeah?” He asked rubbing up my back with his right hand.

“Yeah,” I said leaning down and kissing him. “Plus I mean they can try all they want, I get to fuck you anytime I want,” I said grinning. 

Oliver smiled up at me. “I like it when you’re territorial.” 

“Oh I am,” I said in between kisses. I rubbed my body on his. I reached down and stroked him. He gasped and looked up at me. 

“You want more?” He asked.

“Always,” I said climbing on top of him. “I always want more.”

“Good,” he said and took my face in his hands. “I love you.”

“I love you,” I said back.

“How much?” He asked.

“More than anything,” I whispered back.

“Show me,” he said. 

“With pleasure,” I replied sinking my mouth into his.


	93. Growing Up

I looked at myself in the mirror. I had a white shirt on with a dark green blazer and matching pants. Oliver was putting on his shoes. He was in a white shirt and gray blazer and matching pants. My cell phone rang. It was Kelly.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey, Elio. I’m about 10 minutes away.”

“Ok, thank you. See you soon.” I hung up.

Oliver stood up. “Almost here?”

“Yeah,” I said.

We exited our bedroom and walked down the the kid’s room. Ben and Sam were in Ben’s room playing on his PlayStation.

“Hey guys, that is getting turned off at 10, ok?”

“Ok,” they both said not looking up at us.

I sighed and Oliver walked into the bedroom and kissed them each on the head. We then went downstairs. Sofia was watching tv in the living room and eating ice cream.

“Sofie, make sure you eat dinner too ok?” Oliver said as we walked into the living room.

“What’s for dinner?” She asked.

“I don’t know, you guys and Kelly can decide,” I said. “I’m leaving her money.”

“Aw! Kelly always asks for us to take a vote and the two goons always vote pizza. I’m so tired of pizza! They never want Chinese food! I want Chinese food!”

“Ok,” Oliver said. “So I’ll tell Kelly to order them pizza and order you Chinese food. I think Kelly and Jenny would probably enjoy the Chinese food as well,” Oliver said crouching down in front of Sofia and smiling a her. She beamed at Oliver and leaned into him and he picked her up easily. 

Some things hadn’t changed in the last ten years. Kelly had worked with us full time until the twins had started school. She had then married and now had a daughter of her own who she brought with her now when we asked her to baby sit. Her husband was a doctor in the military and she and her daughter had spent some time with us when he had been deployed. She usually had her parents stay with her though so she was never alone. Her husband was a very nice man.

“Oh daddy, you and dad look so nice,” Sofia said.

“Thank you baby,” Oliver said holding Sofia in his arms and kissing her forehead. Sofia being Oliver’s little girl hadn’t changed in the last ten years either and I’m sure it never would. I smiled at them. The doorbell rang.

Sofia scrambled out of Oliver’s arms and we all went to the door. I opened it and greeted Kelly and her daughter, who was almost five.

“Hi Jenny,” Sofia said sweetly, hugging the little girl. Sofia loved Jennifer and had known her since she was a baby. “Hi, Kelly!” Sofie said. 

“Hi sweetheart. Here I brought yours and Sam’s birthday presents. I’m sorry I missed your party but Jenny wasn’t feeling good,” she said. 

“Oh thank you!” Sofia said. They hugged.

Kelly turned to us. “Hey guys. You two look nice,” she said. Sofia and Jenny walked into the living room with the toys Jenny had brought.

“We’re meeting Val for dinner,” I said.

“Kelly thank you for making time for us,” Oliver said.

“Are you kidding me? You’re paying me to have Sofia baby sit Jenny for me,” she said and we laughed.

“I left some cash in the kitchen,” I said. “The boys are upstairs on the PlayStation. I’m sure they’ll want pizza but Sofia wanted Chinese,” I said.

“So did I. Awesome. Thanks. You guys don’t worry and have fun,” I said. “Say hi to Val for me!”

“Will do,” I said. 

Oliver and I walked out the front door. We got into my car and took. We were meeting Valerie at a steak house on Wilshire. We were at a red light and I glanced at Oliver and smiled. “How you feeling?” He asked me.

I furrowed my brow. “Fine,” I said chuckling. “Why do you ask?” 

“Well, I just know that this is new. Valerie dating someone,” he said. I shrugged.

“I’m not jealous,” I said looking at him and furrowing my brow.

“No, baby, that’s not what I meant,” Oliver said. He reached up and caressed my face and side of my neck. I loved how he did that. He knew I loved it. “What I mean is, there is a new person that may suddenly become a huge part of Val’s life. And our children’s lives. And in essence our lives and we don’t get to choose him, you know? We don’t get a say. We can only hope for the best,” Oliver said.

I nodded as I drove. Of course Oliver was right. Plus he had been through it. With Steve. We were lucky though, Steve was a great guy. It was true, it was an addition to the family I had no say in and, yes, it was slightly nerve wrecking. I sighed. I hoped lightning struck twice and we were met with another great guy. I wanted Valerie to be happy. 

We drove and I got a little more nervous as we got closer. I knew Oliver noticed. He knew me and he knew when I was nervous or excited or happy or sad. The man knew me inside out by now. He rested his hand on the back of my neck and rubbed it with his thumb. I smiled at his touch. He was so wonderfully loving.

We got to the restaurant. I pulled into the parking lot and we found a parking spot. We got out of the car and walked inside the restaurant. I gave the hostess Valerie’s name. We were led to the back of the steakhouse to a nice sized booth and there was Val. She looked lovely with her brown hair in a sleek ponytail. She had a pretty plum blouse on and black dress pants and beside her was, who I assumed, was Zachary.

He was a bit taller than Val, about my height. He had a beard which was trimmed. He had brown hair with some blond highlights. He was in a navy blue suit with a light blue button up shirt.

Valerie and him stood up. “Hey!” She said and came over and hugged us. She took my hand and turned to Zachery.

“Zack,” she said. “This is Elio and Oliver. Guys this is Zachery.”

“Zachery,” I said, shaking his hand. “Wonderful to meet you.”

He gave me a very friendly smile. “Likewise Elio. I actually went to see you last summer at the bowl. I bought my daughter one of your lullaby CDs,” he said.

Oliver and he shook hands and greeted each other as well. We all sat down. “You have a daughter?” I asked smiling.

“Yes, Alana, she’s six,” he said. “It was a similar situation with you and Valerie. Her mother and I dated for almost a year and then after we had decided to go our separate ways, we were surprised,” he said. “But she’s, you know, perfect!”

We all laughed. He showed Oliver and I a pictured. “Cute kid,” Oliver said. 

“Oliver, I um,” Zachery shook his head. “Your third book, where you went into great detail about analytical jurisprudence was, wow,” he said. He smoothed his tie and grinned at Oliver. Valerie grinned as well and I glanced at Oliver.

“Oh, thank you so much Zachery,” Oliver said with a nod to his head. “When I taught I never really delved into it, at UCLA the Professors they have that teach the law students philosophy are a specific group which I was not a part of, so it was great doing the research for my book and you being a lawyer, it means a lot that you enjoyed it.”

“Oh it was a great read. I had read the book you wrote after as well and Valerie saw it and that’s actually how we met,” he said and they laughed.

“Well no we met at work,” Valerie said. “But I saw he was reading your book and I was like oh I know him.”

I laughed. I glanced at Oliver who was grinning. “Yeah,” Zack said. “And, tell them Val, tell them what I asked and what you said.”

“So I told Zack I knew you and he gave me this look and said, oh yeah? I said yes. He asked you know him well? And I said, yeah he’s helping me raise my kids.” 

“And in the office we all know Val has her twins and is co parenting but I knew nothing about the father and I remembered reading somewhere you had kids, Oliver,” Zachery said. Oliver nodded. “So literally I turned to Valerie and I said, holy shit he’s your kid’s father?!” 

Oliver and I couldn’t help but laugh and our night went on from there. I got good vibes from Zachery and I could easily see why Valerie liked him. He was young and smart and articulate and very good looking. He was bubbly and friendly in the way he spoke, just like Valerie was and I was sure they never ran out of things to talk about. He was clearly a little star struck by Oliver and every so often would apologize and just ask Oliver something about the book of his he liked so much.

I was fine with this. I enjoyed it. I felt so proud of Oliver and all he had accomplished and who he was. Hot, sexy and so smart and all mine. I gazed at Oliver as he spoke with Zachery and then my gaze met Valerie’s. She looked happy. We smiled at one another. I breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed, that maybe lightning had truly struck twice.

 

* * *

 

I spoke to Valerie on the phone a few days later.

“Val, he’s great,” I said. “I mean all I saw, you know, seemed great. You seem happy.”

“I am,” she said. “I am. I’m still... nervous. Like I’m waiting for something to pop up you know?”

I sighed. “Don’t do that Valerie. Enjoy it. Don’t doubt him if he’s given you no reason to doubt him.”

“I know,” she said. “Maybe we can do something Labor Day weekend?” She asked me. “I know you and Oliver like to always be with all the kids and it would be nice too if he met Michael and Ben, you know?”

“Yeah,” I said. “That sounds like it would be nice.”

“Ok,” she said and let out a long breath.

“You alright?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m happy.” 

I smiled. “You deserve it Valerie,” I said. “Think he’ll want to bring his daughter? You know if he does, Sofia will approve of him right away,” I said. 

“Ha!” She said. “I’ll ask. I hope it’s ok. He doesn’t have the same type of relationship you and I do. He had to sue her for rights and it was kind of messy but they’re civil now, but if it isn’t his time with her then he won’t be able to bring her,” Valerie said.

“Oh wow,” I said. I had always been grateful Valerie and I never went through all that.

“Dad! I want to paint outside but I want to use the big easel!” I heard from behind me and I turned to see Samuel at the bottom of the stairs. 

“Ok!” I said.

“Oh is that my Sammy?” Val asked.

“Yes,” I said chuckling. “Here,” I said to Sam, holding out my phone to him. “Talk to your mom while I set up your easel.

Sam took the phone. “Hey mom! Ask me what I’m about to do,” he said.

I grinned as I took the stairs two at a time and walked to his room. Samuel’s bedroom was the only bedroom in the house without a carpet. We had floors put in last year when I had gotten tired of all the paint on the carpet. This way, he just wiped the floor clean himself. I grabbed his easel and took it downstairs and set it up for him. He had three in total but this was one Oliver and I had gotten him for his birthday.

Once it was set up I went back inside. He handed me my phone back. “I’m back,” I said.

“Where’s Sofie?” Val asked. 

“Benjamin needed some jeans since, you know, he’s growing an inch per month and it’s not like Sofia is going to pass up clothes shopping even if it isn’t for her,” I said.

“Yeah as if Oliver isn’t going to buy her anything!” Valerie said. I chuckled. “Alright. Well say hi to the rest of the fam,” she said.

“Will do. Take care. We’ll talk later and good luck with court Monday.”

“Thank you,” she said.

We hung up and I walked out to the yard. Samuel had gotten his palette and was squiring paint on it. I saw he was mixing a blue the same shade as the sky. 

“You’re really good at that,” I said.

“Thanks dad,” he said and I smiled at him.

“Is that what you think you wanna do Sam?” I asked him. “Be an artist?”

He looked at me seriously. “Maybe,” he said. “But I was going to ask you for a skateboard. Maybe I’m the next Tony Hawk.”

I nodded as I sat on the one of the chairs we had out there. “You could be,” I said. “Who am I to deny your talent. I will buy you a skateboard,” I said.

“Can you buy Ben one too?” He asked. 

I glanced at him. “Does he want one? He’s never asked for one,” I said.

“Well I gotta skate with someone and I’m sorta figuring my best chance is Ben. Sofie and Michael won’t.”

“Well, we’ll ask Ben first and see if he wants one,” I said.

Samuel nodded. I watched as he painted the whole canvas blue. “I start fifth grade this year,” he said.

“I know,” I told him.

“Last year at my school. Next year I’ll be in middle school,” he said.

I smiled. “Yeah that’s how it goes,” I said.

I watched Sam paint a while and took in the scenery. I heard music in my head inspired by the moment. “Dad?”

“Hmm?” I asked and glanced at Sam.

“So, you’ve kissed girls right? Or was mom the only girl you’ve kissed?”

I grinned and then made my face serious because I didn’t want my son to think I wasn’t taking the talk seriously. “I’ve kissed a few other girls,” I said.

Sam nodded. “Did you ask them or just did it?” He asked.

I looked at him. “You should always ask, Sam,” I told him. “You should always ask someone if you can kiss them before you do so.” 

He looked at me. “If I tell you a secret you promise to keep it?”

“Yes,” I said nodding and looking at him seriously.

“The other night when you and dad went to eat with mom, Ben was talking to Tyler and he was talking about a girl that he likes. He was asking Tyler if he should ask her or just kiss her. He said he felt she liked him too because she’ll hold his hand when they’re hanging out sometimes. She likes to skate and he mentioned learning to skate. That’s when I thought I should learn too.”

I bit the inside of my lip and tried to not smile at this. “Well, maybe tell Ben that you think he should ask. If he kisses her and she didn’t want to be kissed, she may get really mad. But if he asks her and she does want to be kissed, then she’ll be even happier that he asked,” I told Sam.

“Yeah. I’m his wingman you know. I should always give him good advice.” I couldn’t help but grin at this. 

“Dad! Sam! Where are you?” Sofia’s voice floated out the opened sliding doors.

“Outside!” Sam called. Sofia bounded out and showed me the pink CD player she had gotten. Ben stepped out. He ran his hand through his golden hair and showed me his new Vans.

“Nice,” I said as Sofia climbed on my lap. She was chewing gum and asked me if I wanted some and I took a piece. 

“Sam, I got a skateboard,” Ben said smiling. His voice was beginning to change.

“What? I was just telling dad I wanted one!” He said.

“Oh were you?” Oliver said stepping through the sliding doors. I saw his hands behind his back.

“Yes!” Sam said. “I could be the next Tony Hawk!”

“No way dude? You think you got that kind of talent?” Oliver asked.

“Yes!” Sam said.

“Well, let’s see,” Oliver said bringing his arms in front of him and showing Sam the skateboard he had.

“What?! No way!” Sam said jumping up and down. Sofia took her headphones off and laughed. Sam bear hugged Oliver and laughed. “Thank you dad! Thank you! Thank you!”

“And guess what?” Ben said. “We can spray paint them.”

“We can?” Sam said eyes widening.

“Yeah, Alyssa told me she spray painted hers,” Ben said.

“That’s the girl Ben has a crush on,” Sofia said.

“Sofia shut up!” Sam said.

“Sofia no teasing,” I said. “Is she good at skateboarding?” I asked. 

Ben nodded. “Yeah. She’s Tyler’s neighbor. When I go to his house she’ll sometimes teach me stuff,” he said. He looked at Oliver and I. “Can I invite her over?” He asked. “She said if I invited her she would come.”

“Yes,” Oliver said.

“Sure,” I replied at the same time.

“But, like I said, you can’t be in your room alone with her like you are with Tyler and Richard. Living room only,” Oliver said.

“Can I call her now?” Ben asked.

“Ok,” Oliver said and Ben went inside. Sam was sitting on the grass inspecting his skateboard and he ran in after Ben. Oliver walked over and sat beside me. Sofia went from my lap to his. She had her headphones back on and was humming along to the music. “He told he liked the girl,” Oliver told me. “He asked me if I would give him money to take her out to the movies this weekend,” he said. 

I took a deep breath in and out. “Has he already asked her?”

“Apparently so and she said yes,” Oliver said. I nodded. “I told him already if she came he can’t be in his room alone with her,” he said. I nodded again.

“Ok,” I said. “Same rules we have for Michael.”

“Except this didn’t happen till Michael was 15,” Oliver said glancing at me. “Do you think he’s too young?” Oliver asked. 

“Well, we drop him off at the movies with Tyler and Richard,” I said. “I think it would be best if you or I talk to her parents before it’s a go and see who’s picking them up and dropping them off. I’d prefer you or I do the picking up and dropping off till we know the parents themselves,” I said. “If they want us to, we can chaperone as well,” I said.

“That sounds good,” Oliver said.

“Do you think he’s too young?” I asked.

Oliver breathed out. “I don’t know,” he said. “Michael at 15 seemed normal to want to date. Ben is 13. I never told my parents anything as a kid,” Oliver said. “But the fact that he was honest and told me, it shows maturity and I’m so happy he’s telling me,” Oliver said. I smiled as I looked at him. He was so handsome in the sunlight. Sofia was leaning on him and singing softly.

Ben came back out, Sam behind him. “She said her mom is dropping her off because she wanted to see who’s house she was coming to,” Ben said. 

“Ok,” I said.

“Ok,” Ben replied. He grinned at us and we grinned back. “I told her is she wanted to swim to bring her bathing suit,” he said.

“Yeah,” I said. 

“Hey, what if we grill some hot dogs?” Oliver asked.

He got up and took Sofia with him and Sam went in as well. Ben came and took Oliver’s seat beside me.

“So Alyssa?” I asked.

Ben grinned and nodded. “Michael was always so nervous to talk to girls,” Ben said. “I don’t feel that nervous,” he said with a shrug. He was sitting in the exact same position Oliver has been sitting minutes before. Blond hair golden in the sunlight, his blue eyes sprakling.

“Have you kissed her yet?” I asked him. He shook his head and rubbed his palms on his jeans. “Some fatherly advice then,” I said. “Ask her to kiss her. Don’t just do it. Don’t ever pressure her to do anything she doesn’t want to, son. And if she says no, move away and let her be and never be angry if she ever says no to anything. No matter what it is.” 

He listened and looked serious and nodded. “Ok, dad,” he said.

I took a breath in, and said something I had said to Michael a couple of years back. “You may one day like a girl who doesn’t like the fact that you have two dads,” I said.

Ben shrugged. “I told Alyssa and she seemed ok with it,” he said.

“Ok,” I said and left it at that. I stood up. “Well let’s go in, your friend will be here soon.”

“Yeah,” he said and got up and we went inside. “Sam clean up your paint stuff,” I said.

“No I’m gonna go finish,” he said.

“Can I watch?” Sofia asked.

“Yeah,” Sam said and they went outside.

The doorbell rang. Ben looked at us. I looked at Oliver and nodded. “Ok!” Oliver said. “Come on Ben, introduce me to your friend.” 

“Ok,” Ben said grinning and I watched them as they walked to the front door.


	94. Growing Family

The whole family went to pick up Michael the third weekend of August. All the kids were excited. When he came out of the gate, they ran and hugged him. He hugged the twins and stared at Ben.

“You _grew_!” He told his brother.

It was noisy driving home. All the kids were talking and Michael was telling us about Italy. He had picked up a good bit of Italian and I was very proud of him.

Once we got home, Michael took the SD card out of the camera and loaded all the pictures into the computer in Oliver’s office downstairs. While they loaded he started unpacking the things he had brought for his siblings. Jewelry for Sofia and some chocolates and tee shirts from Rome and little things like that.

“Dad, here you go,” Michael said and handed me some books. I looked at them. It was comics I used to read as a teen. “Grandma Annella, said you enjoyed reading them a lot.”

“I did,” I said chuckling.

We all sat and chatted. I glanced at Michael. He looked so grown up. He had a nice tan, which was funny considering we lived in a sunny place anyway. It was great hearing him talk about all the places I enjoyed when I was his age. It was a wonderful feeling.

 

* * *

 

 

Oliver’s 43rd birthday was a whole day affair. It had begun with the twins cooking him breakfast and then we had given Oliver our birthday presents. Then we went to the beach for a while, followed by a late lunch and then a movie. That was followed by dinner and finally home. Sam and Sofia were passed out and Ben seemed almost ready to pass out as well. Sofia was leaning up against him. Michael was reading and was the only one that seemed wide awake. It was past 10 pm when we finally made it home.

Oliver and I grabbed a twin each and Ben and Michael got the bags with the beach stuff out for us. Everyone was in their room and in bed within 30 minutes of getting home.

I got in bed after turning off the lights and cuddled into Oliver’s chest. “Happy Birthday, love of my life,” I whispered. I nuzzled his chest and kissed it several times. 

“Mmmmm,” he said, squeezing me and kissing my hair. “Thank you baby.”

I wrapped my arms around him. “Oh, tomorrow you’ll be spending the day with me,” I said with a smile.

I felt him chuckle. “Is that right?” He asked.

“Mmhmm,” I said.“Tomorrow and the day after.” 

That caught him by surprise. “What?”

“Kelly and Jenny will be here. Michael is also home so he can help. I’ve already talked to Ben and told him he can’t invite anyone over. He understands. You and I are going to have a nice day and night alone.” 

“Alone?” He asked.

“Alone,” I said and kissed his chest again.

 

* * *

 

“Ok, you guys behave! Michael, you know where we’re at,” Oliver said. Michael nodded. “Ben, no friends over. Alyssa can come Labor Day weekend, let her know.” Ben nodded. Oliver turned to the twins. “Both of you, be good please. Listen to Kelly and Michael. I’ll call you tonight,” Oliver said.

“Ok, daddy,” Sofia responded and climbed on Oliver. He picked her up and squeezed her before setting her down. 

“Ok, you guys have a nice couple of days,” Kelly said.

“Thank you,” I said. “Be good, all of you!” I said turning to my kids.

The was a chorus of “Bye dads!” and I chuckled when I saw Jenny was waving and saying it as well. Oliver and I left the house, overnight bag in hand and took off.

 

* * *

 

“So where you taking me?” Oliver asked.

I grinned. “Somewhere we haven’t been in almost eleven years,” I said.

He gave me a confused look and I could tell he was trying to figure out where it could be. He furrowed his brow. “1990?” He asked. I nodded. He gasped. “The Belmond?”

I grinned. “The Belmond,” I whispered back.

He let out a huff of breath. “We spent the night there after Stacey’s wedding,” he said.

“Yup,” I whispered. I looked at him as we stopped at a red light. I reached over and took his hand in mine.

“That night was incredible,” he said. “You bent me over the bathroom counter,” he looked at me and grinned.

“It had that huge mirror. Perfect view of your face,” I said grinning back. I felt the stirring of desire in me as I remembered.

“November 17, 1990,” Oliver whispered.

The light turned green and I kept driving.

“You know I don’t count the years between 83 and 90 as us not being together. To me we’ve been together 18 years,” Oliver said.

I nodded and my heart thumped in my chest. I thought of my life in those in between years. They were more of a distant memory now that we were living together and had been busy raising our children the last eleven years. But a part of me would never forget the pain and confusion of him leaving in 83. The excitement of seeing him again in 88 and the absolute joy of reconnecting in 1990.

I glanced his way and smiled. “It’s how I feel too,” I told him. “But it’s the truth,” I said. “Part of me never left you after 83. Those years we weren’t physically together...” I drifted off. 

“I know,” he said. He squeezed my hand.

We reached the hotel soon enough. I went and checked in and then we climbed into an elevator. The hotel was as beautiful as I remembered. It was an old and luxurious place and it was kept up wonderfully.

We got to our room and I opened the door and stepped inside. I turned and grinned at him.

“Fuck me, you got us the same room!” He said.

I chuckled and nodded. “Happy Birthday!” I said. He grabbed me and kissed. It felt so good. I moaned into his lips. “I’m going first,” I said as we began undress quickly.

“No, no,” he said and I loved how his eyes sparkled. “It’s my birthday and I get to fuck you first!”

“Fucking greedy,” I said as I grabbed his face and kissed him. 

“You bet I am,” he said panting and I felt his tongue slide in my mouth. I felt his hands slide down my body and squeeze my ass. His hand slid in and I felt him caress my entrance. I moaned as we fell on the bed and he quickly took me in his mouth. He sucked me with such intensity I couldn’t hold back the strangled moans. 

“Fuck,” I panted. I reached down and grabbed a fistful of blond hair. “Oh fuck!” He was relentless it was almost painful. It was so incredibly good. He suddenly released me and his lips were on mine again. 

“You drive me crazy,” he said as he lifted up for air. He turned me onto my stomach. “I still remember that first night. You were so sweet and innocent,” he said in my ear. My cock reacted to his words and his voice. “That night in your room,” Oliver whispered. “I had never been more turned on. No one had ever ever turned me so much.”

I felt his lips on my back, kissing and licking down. And then the pulled me on my knees and I felt his tongue inside me. I groaned. I spread my knees. His tongue was amazing. He licked slowly around my entrance and then slid it inside me. My hips bucked involuntarily. I closed my eyes and felt the goosebumps rise all over my skin. My cock was weeping. I reached for it and stroked myself a few times. 

This went on for a glorious moment. I let go of myself not wanting to come now. I wanted to come while he was inside me. As if reading my mind he pulled away and I saw him go for our overnight bag. He had the lube. I took it from him and poured some on my hand. I bit my bottom lip as he climbed back on the bed and laid on his back. I rubbed it on him and straddled him. We kissed.

I rubbed his cock between my ass cheeks. I watched his face as he moaned. He was so incredibly sexy.

“I was nervous that first night,” I said looking down at him.

He smiled and slowly opened his eyes. “I know, you told me,” he said. 

“Then I climbed on top of you and we started kissing and I forgot how nervous I was,” I said. 

I stared to slide him in me slowly. He groaned. I took my time. I loved how he gasped. “Oh fuck,” he whispered.

“Does it feel just as good?” I asked with a half smile.

“Better,” he said.

I chuckled. His hands were on my hips and I began to move them. He felt so good in me. So hard. So perfect. His moans began to grow louder as I moved my hips faster. I was fucking him in no time. I sometimes wondered who lusted after who more. We were both needy of one another. This had not changed. He became grumpy if it was more than several days and I too, felt the anxious urge to have him in me if it had been more than a few days as well.

He grinned as we fucked and his fingertips pressed into my hips. He reached for me and stroked me and it didn’t take long before I came on him. He grinned. “Now I’m gonna fill you with come,” he said roughly and squeezed my body around him. He groaned loudly. 

“Do it,” I said. Our fucking had reached a fever pitch and then he came. I loved how he groaned. I loved the expression on his face. I leaned down and kissed him and felt him pant on my lips as he kept coming. “Yes,” I told him. “Yes.”

I collapsed on his chest. We were both panting, sweaty and limp. I loved this feeling. After a while I rolled off him and on the bed.

“Oh fuck me,” he sighed beside me.

“I just did,” I said and we both laughed.

“Goose!” He suddenly reached over and tickled me and I burst out in a fit of laughter. I tried to get away but it was futile and after a moment we were kissing again.

I felt myself getting hard. “Come on, lets shower,” I whispered.

“You want to bend me over the bathroom counter again?” He asked me.

“You bet I do,” I said gently bit his bottom lip.

 

* * *

 

It was a few days later and I was pulling into our drive way. The twins were in the backseat and we were coming back from the grocery store. We had all we needed for our Labor Day barbecue. I parked and turned off the car.

“Ok, kiddos! Start grabbing bags!” I said as I popped the trunk open.

I got out and got as many bags as I could. The front door opened and Ben walked out. He was in a tank top, swimming shorts and flip flops.

“Please tell me you got chili for the hotdogs dad!” He said as he walked to the trunk to grab some bags. 

“Yes son! Alyssa will have her chili dogs!” I said. 

“You’re the man!” He said.

“Indeed I am,” I said with a grin. 

“Indeed you’re what?” Oliver asked meeting me at the front door.

“The man,” I said with a wink.

“Oh yes you are,” Oliver said and leaned down and kissed me as he took the bags from my hands.

“Ew!” The kids said around us and I started to laugh.

“My eyes! My eyes!” Samuel said dramatically and put his hands over his eyes.

I laughed as I walked in and Michael came towards us. “What’s going on?” He asked.

“Dads blinded me by making out!” Sam said and Michael laughed.

“It was hardly making out! It was one kiss!” I said still laughing. 

Once everything was in I started putting things away. “Ben did you clean the pool?” I asked him.

“Yes, sir,” he said as he grabbed a can of soda and popped it open.

“Thank you, son,” I said.

Once we had the chance, Oliver and I went upstairs and showered. It was perfect timing. Karen and Steve showed up soon after. They were the first people to arrive. 

“Hi mom!” Ben said and went and hugged her.

“Ben! Look at you! You’re almost taller than me!” She said and stared at him. She then stared at me. Ben laughed. 

“He’s probably gonna be as tall as Oliver at the rate he’s growing,” I said and hugged Karen and Steve. “How you doing?” I asked him as they walked in. “Hey girls,” I said.

“Hi!” They greeted me. They were 18 and 16 now. His oldest looked just like him. “Make yourselves at him. Jump in the pool if you want. Oliver is already outside grilling,” I said.

Michael came over and hugged Karen and they started to chat.

Toni and Alex were next and then Lidia and her husband showed up. I was happy to see her. She had retired last year and she and her husband had traveled for months.

“Lidia it’s been over a year!” I said as I hugged her warmly. 

“Oh I know! Doesn’t feel like it thought!” She said. “Where’s Oliver?”

“Outside grilling. He told me he invited you both, but wasn’t sure if you’d be home or not.”

“We’re staying in California til at least next year and then we’ll see where our next road trip will be to,” her husband said.

Time went on and I anxiously waited Valerie and Zachery. Finally I heard the doorbell again. 

“I got it!” Sofia said and she ran to the door. I was quickly behind her. “Mommy!” I heard her say.

“Hi princess!” I watched at Valerie picked her up. She looked over our daughter’s shoulder at me, she was smiling. I smiled back.

“Hey, Val,” I said.

“Hey, Elio.”

I reached the front door and saw Zach. I held out my hand and he shook it. “Good to see you again,” I said. “Welcome. Come on in.” He had his daughter with him. Sofia climbed down from Valerie’s arms and smiled at the little girl.

“Hi!” She said.

The little girl looked up at Zachery. “Say hi sweetie,” he said gently.

“Hi,” she said as she leaned against him. I smiled at her and Sofia took her hand and started talking to her. They were off and playing in the living room within minutes. 

“Nice place,” Zachery said.

“Thank you. Oliver picked it out,” I told him.

“I remember,” Val said. She looked at Zach. “Elio was touring Europe and Oliver and I painted the twin’s rooms together,” she said grinning. 

“Valerie!” Karen called out as she walked in from outside.

“Karen! How you been?” Valerie said and walked over to embrace her.

“That’s the mother of Oliver’s children,” I told Zach and he nodded. 

“You guys have a great relationship. It’s one big happy family. You must know how rare that is,” he said. 

I took a breath in and out. “Oliver and I are very aware of how wonderful our family is,” I said warmly.

“Daddy, I’m gonna go upstairs and grab some more barbies,” Sofia called out to me as she ran out the living room and up the stairs.

“Ok, sweetie,” I said.

Zach’s daughter was playing with the dolls Sofia had downstairs.

“Well,” I said. “Seeing as maybe you and your daughter may soon be a part of it, as much as it may be luck it’s also just a group of people that just genuinely care for one another,” I said. “And our kids are at the center of it all. They’re number one.” 

“Yeah,” Zach said. He watched Sofia as she jogged back down the stairs, arms full of dolls. “Yeah I see that. That’s great,” he said.

 

* * *

 

I was in bed relaxing. Oliver was showering. He said he needed to wash the smell of charcoal off him. After a while he walked in. I grinned up at him.

“Come over, lets see if you washed the barbecue smell of you,” I said.

He chuckled and got on the bed and crawled towards me. He nuzzled my neck. He kissed me and sucked my skin gently.

“You smell good,” I said softly.

We began to kiss. “I love you,” he said softly. He lifted himself up and gazed down at me. 

“I love you, baby,” I whispered back.

“Zach and you seemed friendly,” he said with a smile. 

“He said we had a nice family,” I said. 

“We do,” Oliver agreed kissing me.

“I know,” I answered kissing him more.

We kept kissing softly. I wrapped my arms around him and I soon climbed on top of him, between his legs and he turned onto his stomach. 

I was making love to him soon enough. I was gentle and loving. A far cry from the frenzied fucking we partook in on our days after his birthday. I kissed and caressed him and laid my cheek on his shoulder blade. I moaned softly as I slid and out of him. Once I came I turned him over and sucked him until he came. 

We held each other afterwards. I ran my hand across his chest, pulling on his chest hair gently. “I’m proud of our family,” I said softly.

“As am I baby,” Oliver said.

I took a deep breath in and out. “Maybe it’s time to be more open?” I asked softly

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“I mean maybe at the end of the year when I release my next album and I’m interviewed asked about what I do when I’m not composing I can say I’m busy being a father and supporting my partner who’s a well known writer,” I said softly. My heart was thumping in me chest.

Oliver and I turned and looked into each other’s eyes. His eyes widened slightly. “What?” He asked breathlessly.

“Maybe it’s time,” I said. “We can... let’s talk to the kids first,” I said.

“Ok,” Oliver said. He cupped my face with his hand. “Ok,” he said again and kissed me gently.


	95. A Family Affair

The twins turned 12 in July of 2003. The party was fun as always. That night in bed, Oliver and I held hands as we talked in bed.

“So I’ll be touring September and October,” I said. “I’m sorry I’ll miss Halloween,” I said.

“Well, only Sofia and Sam dressed up last year and I remember Sofia saying it was her last year,” Oliver said to me with a shrug.

“We’re going to be parents to kids that don’t dress up for Halloween anymore?” I asked.

“Well, we’re already parents to one kid that can vote,” Oliver said shaking his head.

“And Ben can start driving next year,” I said.

“Fuck,” Oliver said chuckling.

“Of course at almost 45, you have never looked better,” I said grinning.

Oliver grinned at me. “And you at 37 have never looked better yourself,” he said.

We leaned in and kissed. I ran my hand up and down his chest. “Lindsey has some interview set up to be published next year in January,” I said. “To create buzz for my new album in February.

“Oh! My next book should be out February too!” Oliver said grinning.

“Really?” I said. “Have we ever had projects come out at the same time?” I asked.

“I don’t think so,” Oliver said furrowing his brow. “I know we’ve had them back to back, like May and June but never on the same month.”

“Hmm,” I said. I looked at him. “Maybe it’s a sign,” I said. “I mean Lindsay already is working on having me give a couple of interviews. Maybe you can contact Adam and he and Lindsay can talk and maybe...” I drifted off.

“And maybe we can tell the world we’re together?” He asked.

“We can tell them we’re dads and love our children and are proud to be family men,” I said.

Oliver looked me over and nodded. “Let’s talk to the kids then,” he said.

“Ok,” I replied.

 

* * *

 

Oliver’s birthday came and it was also a great day. Michael was going to start at UCLA a week after and so we decided to talk to the kids the Saturday on Labor Day weekend.

We all had dinner and cleaned up and then we sat them all down.

“Ok,” I said looking at Oliver. I looked at all my children’s faces. “We have something to talk to you guys about,” I said. 

“You’re adopting a baby. Me and Sof are going to be teenagers next year and so you think it’s time to a adopt a baby!” Sam said.

“No,” Oliver said.

“Can it be a girl? I’m severely outnumbered!” Sofia said. “Can you please adopt a baby girl?!”

“Sofia, we’re not adopting a baby!” I said.

“Are you going to remodel my room when I leave?” Michael asked. “I know I’m doing the dorm thing because it my first year of school but I’m on campus in half an hour, so please don’t remodel my room.”

“We’re not remodeling your room,” I said. 

“In that case can I have Michael’s room?” Ben asked. “It’s the second biggest and since he won’t live in it, can I have it?”

“We will talk about that later,” Oliver said.

“What?!” Michael said.

“Yes!” Ben exclaimed. 

“Ok! But seriously,” I said. The kids quieted down and looked at me. I took a deep breath in. “So, I’m going to do an interview for People Magazine in November,” I told them. “It’ll come out in January of next year,” I continued. “Dad and I were wondering how you would all feel if maybe we made it like a family interview?” I asked. They all sat in silence. “Like, they would talk to me and dad and then maybe take some pictures of the family,” I said. “But mainly me and dad.”

“In other words,” Michael said. “You want to publicly state you two are together. As a couple?” He asked.

“Yes,” I said. I knew Michael understood. I looked at the other three.

“We want to let everyone know dad and I are together,” I said to Ben, Sam and Sofia.

“So it may end up on Entertainment Tonight,” Oliver said. “Or maybe the LA Times,” he continued.

“But everyone knows,” Sofia said.

“Everyone around us knows, yes,” I said to her. “But this is telling the people that buy my CDs or dad’s books,” I said.

“And of course,” Oliver said gently. “The more people that know -“

“The more people that may have something to say about two men being together,” Ben said nodding. “We know.”

“Yeah,” Sam and Sofia said. 

“Can I ask,” Michael said. “Why now? Like why are we having this talk now? You guys have been together forever,” he said smiling.

I smiled back and Oliver and I looked at one another. “Well,” Oliver said. “To be honest with you all.” I could tell he was choosing his words carefully. “We wanted to wait for several reasons. One, society hasn’t always been open to people in same sex relationships.” I saw our kids nodding. “So dad and I just thought we could wait until hopefully things got better. But also,” Oliver smiled at them. “We had you guys to think about. We didn’t want any of you singled out of bullied because you had two dads.”

“We never been bullied cause of that,” Samuel said.

“And we want to keep it that way,” I said. “But there is a chance a complete stranger may say something mean to us or even you because they don’t agree with the fact that you have two dads.”

“So, are you asking us if we’re ok with you guys doing this?” Ben asked.

“Yes,” Oliver said. “We don’t have to if you guys don’t want us to.”

“But why wouldn’t we want you to?” Sofia asked.

“Like I said sweetie,” I said. “Someone you don’t know may suddenly be rude to you or hateful because you have two dads.”

Sofia shook her head. She looked at Sam. “But who cares?” She said. Oliver and I looked at her. “Who cares what anyone thinks?”

I smiled at Sofia. “A lot of people,” I said.

“But I don’t care!” She said. 

“Neither do I,” said Ben. 

“Or me,” said Sam.

“And definitely not me,” Michael said as well.

“Ok,” I said. “You guys are sure?”

“Dad,” Ben said looking at me. “You guys have been dads since forever. I’m ok with the world knowing.”

The other kids said yes and chimed in. Oliver and I looked at one another. “Ok,” Oliver said with a smile. 

“Ok,” I said. “Now we just have to clear it with your moms.”

 

* * *

 

Before I left for Europe a couple of weeks later, I told Lindsay about our talk with the kids and our plans. 

“Wow,” she said. “You guys are ready then?”

“Yes,” I told her. “My children are ok with it. Valerie and Karen are ok with it. That’s all that matters.”

“Ok!” Lindsay said.

 

* * *

 

I came home at the beginning of November. I had planned to be home and enjoy the holidays. Oliver too, would be taking it easy for December. We decided to have the interview with People Magazine a few days before thanksgiving.

The person interviewing us was professional and they spoke to the kids and we talked about our holiday traditions. We explained we were Jewish but we also did Christmas. We talked about our Thanksgiving traditions. We okayed for the kids to answer one question each. They then did a photoshoot in our home. Oliver and I and then all of our children.

In our agreement of doing this exclusive for them, Oliver and I had to ok the final article and pictures before it was put out. We were told we would be emailed the final copy of it and once we approved it, it would be published in January of 2004.

 

* * *

 

It was a few days before Christmas when I received the email. I remember feeling really excited about it. I printed it out and after we had breakfast I passed it around and we all read it. I looked at the pictures they had taken. There was a lovely one of Oliver and I. Then one of Oliver and the twins and one of me with Ben and Michael. Then one of all six of us in front of our fireplace. I loved the pictures. Ben looked just like Oliver. The twins were beautiful and I loved how Sofia naturally leaned on Oliver in her pictures.

I read the article and really liked it. They had mentioned how well we got along with the mothers of our children, although their names were not written. This is how we had decided to keep it. I was feeling emotional and I re read the ending. When the interviewer asked us why we wanted to share our story now. 

Oliver had answered the question. He replied how we wanted to wait till our children were old enough to realize what it would mean to share our story. “Also,” Oliver said said. “When I was younger I wish I had seen people like Elio and I. Two men, in love, raising their children and being successful. I’m living my dream,” Oliver said. “I’ve never been happier. It’s ok to be yourself. You can be happy being true to yourself and that’s something I want my children to grow up seeing and knowing it is an attainable possibility.”

I sighed, I was so happy. The kids read the article and liked it as well. Finally, a few days later, we got together and I showed the draft of the article to Valerie and Karen. We were sitting around our dining room table.

“Are you guys going to be on the cover?” Valerie asked.

“Oh I don’t know. Why?”

“Because the picture of you both. It looks like it’s for a cover,” she said.

“Oh! I guess they’ll let us know if we are,” I said. 

“So, you ready?” Valerie asked us. She looked between Oliver and I and we looked at each other and at them.

I closed my eyes. “I’ve been ready,” I said. I glanced up at Karen and she gave me a smile. She looked away. 

“Are you ok?” I asked. She nodded. “We can say no -“

“No -“ she said and I was surprised by the sound of her voice. Oliver got up and walked around, sitting beside him.

“Hey, you alright?”

“I am,” she said, quickly wiping her eyes. Valerie held her hand. “I am, promise.” She said nodding and smiling. She looked at me again. “I really hope some young person sees this, and feels they don’t ever have to hide who they are,” she said softly. “I really hope, kids born today, or 2004 and on don’t ever feel like they have to wait until they’ve been with someone over a decade to have to come out and seek approval. Is all,” she said.

“Thank you, Karen,” I said.

She shook her head. “Let’s just hope one day there isn’t a need to come out,” she said. “Let’s just hope one day it’s just normal and accepted and people can just love who they love. If not in time for our kids maybe by the time our kids have kids.”

“I hope we get to see that day too,” Valerie said.

I smiled at both of them. I reached over and squeezed Valerie’s hands and Oliver put his arm around Karen. I was thankful for them both. Now more than ever.


	96. You Get What You Deserve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _January 2004_

The People Magazine article came out in January and Oliver and I were indeed on the cover. It was funny at the grocery store. I was there with Ben one night and we were waiting in line, when the woman in front of us looked at me and said the man on the cover looked like me.

“Who is that anyway?” She asked. “Oh that pianist,” she said absentmindedly. Ben had grinned at me and said nothing. She bought the magazine and didn’t say anything else.

 

* * *

 

It was the Friday of the third week of January and I had just gotten home from picking up the twins. Michael had come home for the weekend with his usual loads of laundry. We enjoyed seeing him on the weekends whenever he came, we all missed him. 

He was home that day and was at the dining room table doing homework. Sam wanted to paint so Sofia and I were helping him spread newspaper around. The phone rang. 

“I’ll get it,” Michael said. “Hello? Oh hey dad!” I looked over at him and kept on putting out newspaper. “Ok, hold on,” Michael said. “Ok dad and Ben are coming home now and want to know if we want Pizza Hut?”

“Yes!” Sofia said and after we all decided what we wanted Michale hung up. Ben had made the baseball team and Oliver had taken him to get fitted for a uniform. As a freshman he had joined several teams in school but now as a sophomore had now decided to focus on baseball.

It was a bit over an hour later when Oliver and Ben came home. Sam propped his painting up to dry on some newspaper and we all sat around eating and chatting. We were pretty much done eating when the phone rang again. Michael was again the closest. He reached for it.

“Hello?” He listened and gave Oliver and I a funny look. “Someone wants to talk to my dad,” he said shrugging. I was sitting beside him so I took it from his hand.

“Hello?”

“Listen here,” said a rough voice I had never ever heard in my life. “You have shamed this family for the last time! Your poor mother must be rolling over in her grave! I am ashamed you are my son and carry my name!”

“Hold on,” I said pleasantly.

I now knew who it was. I put my hand over the receiver. “Ben take the twins upstairs,” I said.

“Why? What’s going on?” Ben asked.

“Hurry up Benjamin!” Oliver said looking at me. “Sam, Sofie go!”

“Who is this?” Said the rough voice on the phone. I looked at Michael. I had decided to have him stay because he was an adult and also because having one of my children with me would keep me sane.

“You call my home and you ask me who I am?” I asked in a steady voice. Oliver looked at me, I could tell he was puzzled and concerned. Michael too was looking confused.

“Who did they ask for?” Oliver asked him.

“My dad!” Michael said. 

“You said you read the article so you should at least know my name,” I said calmly. I then looked into Oliver’s eyes. “I believe it’s your father, my love,” I said. 

“This is all your fault!” The voice on the phone said vindictively. “You corrupted my son!”

I laughed. Oliver stared at me. “Please, tell me how you really feel,” I said calmly.

“You disgust me!” He yelled.

“Now tell me honestly,” I said gripping the phone tight. “Why are you so bothered? Is it really the fact that your son is with a man? Because he had sons, your name will continue. So is it because he’s happy and in love? Is it because all those threats of him not being able to be himself and make it and be successful never came to pass? Are you mad your son sent you a big fuck you in the form of a magazine article?”

“Oh shit!” Michael said looking amused and covering his mouth.

I looked at Oliver. His eyes were a bit wide but he didn’t look mad at what I had said.

“How dare you!” I heard over the phone.

“Oh I dare,” I said angrily. “Because I can honestly tell you that I don’t bully little boys, which is not something you can say. I won’t bully my sons into submission and when they bring their children home in the future I won’t bully them either! Michael and Ben are my sons, they have been since they were 3 years and 9 months old and I will not let you insult their father, who is the love of my life and the best man I’ve ever met ever again!”

Silence. All I heard was ragged breathing.

“You think you’re better than me because you have money? Well guess what? Oliver and I have money too. You wanna pat yourself in the back because you sent one kid to private school? We’re sending three and Michael is about to start UCLA. So you tell me, if money speaks to you, how does me being gay matter if I have the money to provide my kids with what you provided for Oliver? Money doesn’t care if I’m gay!”

More silence.

“That’s what I thought,” I said. “You’re old and alone. Your only son is on the other side of the country basking in the love of his children who you can’t even visit because your son is with another man. Well guess what? They don’t need you! They don’t want you! They’re better without you!”

My anger had taken over.

“They should be the ones that should be ashamed! Oliver and Michael and Ben. They are a hundred times the men you will ever be and if anyone should feel shame it should be them! Because you don’t deserve these fine men to carry your name! You don’t deserve to be honored in that way but they do and they will. But you’re nothing but a sometimes passing memory since you’ve chosen to not be a part of their lives and I have never lost sleep over it. The best thing Oliver did was come to California and leave your toxicity behind. And if you call our home again to spew your bullshit, I won’t be as civil as I have been now!”

I held the phone out to Oliver. “Do you wish to speak to your father, baby?”

“No.” He said.

I hung up.

We all sat there a moment and I then I looked at Michael. “I’m sorry you heard that son.”

“Why are you sorry? You love dad and defended him and I remember all he said.” Michael shook his head.

“I know,” I said. I reached for him. “I don’t want you upset.” I looked at Oliver. He looked sad. We heard steps on the stairs and then Ben came running into the kitchen.

“I heard all that!” Ben said. I sighed. He went and sat beside Oliver. “What the hell does he care!” He said angrily. His face was flushed. I was so upset this had hurt my sons. “Every March I get a box from Italy. Gramma Annella and Grandpa Perlman call us all the time. What has he even done for us!”

“Nothing,” Oliver said putting his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, and actually talking about Gramma Annella and Grandpa Perlman, they called earlier. They want to come and spend the summer,” I said. I looked at Michael. “I think my dad wants to talk to you about school and he wants to see you Ben and the twins.”

I wiped my face. I looked at Ben’s red face. I was so angry. I didn’t care if Oliver’s dad didn’t approve but he was Ben’s and Michael’s grandfather and I hated they were feeling some of the same rejection Oliver had felt.

“Boys,” Oliver said. He looked at Ben and Michael. They both looked at Oliver. “I know what you’re feeling because I felt it all my life. You wished...” he let out a shaky breath. “You wish he would just love you for you. But he won’t. And never will. Because you two are my sons and I am a disappointment to him. I’m sorry.” Ben opened his mouth. “Not because I have done anything wrong,” he said. Ben nodded. “I’m saying sorry because you don’t deserve this and he will never apologize. But I want to. Because I love you both.”

“I love you both too,” I said. 

Oliver smiled at me. “And now, I will tell you both something that I wish hadn’t taken me over thirty years to learn.” I glanced up at Oliver. “He doesn’t have to mean anything to you,” Oliver said. “He doesn’t want to be here. Then don’t miss or mourn him. You don’t have to think of him as grandfather. I no longer consider him my dad. He’s my biological father yes, but when I need to talk to my dad I call the Professor,” Oliver said smiling my way. 

I smiled back. My heart felt so good.

“I’ve been calling him since before you two were born and he’s never led me astray. So you have Grandpa Perlman. You’re not missing out on anything.”

I decided to let them talk. I got up kissed Ben and Michael on the head and kissed Oliver in the lips and went upstairs to check on the twins.

 

* * *

 

I was in bed when I heard Ben, Oliver and Michael come up the stairs. I heard them tell Oliver goodnight and then he walked into the bedroom.

I had been reading. I looked up at him and saw his eyes were red. He had been crying. I was equal parts sad and angry. How dare anyone upset him.

“Hey,” I said softly. I got up and went to him and held him tight. As tight as I could. “I love you,” I told him.

He sighed. “I love you, Elio. So, so much.”

We pulled apart and I kissed him. I pulled off his shirt and I unbuttoned his jeans. I slid them down and then sat him on the bed. I took off his jeans all the way and took off his socks. I went and got sleeping pants and a tee shirt. But when I turned I saw he had gotten in bed naked. I put his clothes back and undressed myself and turned off the lights. I climbed in bed naked beside him.

“You ok?” I asked.

He pulled me to him. “Yes,” he said. “I am.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“I was honest with my boys,” he said softly. “I told them my struggles and how my dad... how he never accepted me. Us. I told them Karen knew. It’s no secret.”

“Right,” I said.

“They cried,” Oliver said. “I told them not to. Ben told me it wasn’t fair.”

“It wasn’t. Parents should love their kids regardless,” I said.

“I know. We do. Lots of parents do. Mine didn’t.”

I kissed his chest. “Their loss,” I said.

“Yup,” Oliver said and seemed to breath a deep sigh and relaxed. I caressed his chest and kept kissing him. “Ben wants to change his last name to Perlman,” Oliver said.

“What?” I asked. I looked up at Oliver.

“I told him if he felt that way in a year and if you and Grandpa Perlman were ok with it, I’d let him.”

“Ok,” I said nodding. I laid back down on Oliver.

We laid in silence for a moment. “This is it, Elio,” Oliver whispered.

“What is, baby?” I asked.

“I’ve mentally checked out when it comes to him. I am done. Tonight was the last straw. Whatever unresolved anything I had concerning him, I’ve somehow resolved it with my sons.”

He turned and pushed me on the bed and climbed on top of me, between my legs. I looked up at him, my arms around his neck and my hands in his hair.

“I’m free,” he said simply. He kissed me.

We kept kissing and it became deeper. He kissed down my neck and I was hard in no time. He kissed and licked down my body and then sucked me until I came. I turned over for him, as soon as my legs stopped trembling. Heentered me. He hadn’t prepped me much so it stung as I stretched around him.

“Aah fuck!” I said as I reached back for him.

“Is that good?” He asked me, kissing my neck.

“It’s always good,” I told him. 

He started pumping in and out of me and soon enough my body had adjusted. He held me tight. I could feel the prickliness of his stubble on my back where he was laying his cheek on me. His body was so warm. I knew him so well now. After all these years I knew him inside out and yet... my yearning hadn’t waned. The sex was just as good, if not better. 

I groaned as he went in deeper.

“Fuck, you feel good baby. You please my cock so much,” he groaned in my ear and I came a second time. His voice got me like that sometimes.

He came soon after. We laid there a moment panting. After a while he got up and returned with a towel. I cleaned up and he laid back down beside me. I snuggled close.

“With your voice, dirty things sound extra hot and dirty,” I said. He chuckled. “Don’t laugh! Did you see how your voice makes me come!”

“Mmmmm,” He said. “I saw and I’m very proud of myself.”

“As you should be,” I said and kissed him. 


	97. Let Summer Never End

_July 2004_

 

I opened my eyes slowly. It was early morning. The sun hadn’t quite risen fully. The pale light was coming in through the pale curtains on our windows.

I stretched. Elio was sleeping soundly beside me. I sighed. As promised, Annella and the Professor had come and they were staying until the first weekend in January. We had celebrated the twins 13th birthday the week before. Elio and I had looked at each other and realized we were the parents of 4 teenagers.

“I believe this is referred to as the Inferno,” Elio had said chuckling.

I looked at him again. Elio. Beautiful as always. My heart always ran away with me in moments like this when the world was quiet and still and memories of us floated around my half awake brain. Elio is beautiful and strong and being with him made me a better person. Elio is happiness and fulfillment and everything I could every wish for in a partner.

I leaned in and kissed him. His perfect lips. His freckled nose. He scrunched it up as he stirred awake. I kissed his nose again and then he’s awake.

“Hmm,” he says and cuddles into me.

I grinned and softly chuckle. “Morning,” I whisper.

“Is it morning already?”

“Sort of,” I reply. I close my eyes happily as I run my hand up and down his back. I recall last week after the birthday party, he was fucking me roughly and bit my back. He said I could bite him next time. I grin. “You owe me,” I whisper.

“Owe you what?” He asks half sleep still.

“A bite on your back,” I said.

“Oh,” he says and then he’s chuckling. “That was so hot. I had to bite you.”

“Really? Had to?”

“Had to,” he said climbing on me. I let him of course, because I want him to.

“You’re just as beautiful as always,” I whisper to him.

He smiled at me. “Beautiful?”

“So beautiful,” I tell him and pull him in for a kiss.

The moment is heavenly. Nothing compares to having Elio’s lips against mine. He knows this and indulges me with long sweet kisses. When he tries to pull away I don’t let him. “No, no, no,” I say softly.

Elio chuckles and stays where he is and kisses me again and again and again. Then his lips work down my body and I find him between my legs, opening me up. He can’t be in me soon enough. When he is, I close my eyes a moment and enjoy the feeling of him inside of me. I moaned softly as he moved in and out of me.

He leaned forward and started going faster. “As often as I intend to take my time,” he said panting. “Once I’m in you all I want to do is fuck you.”

His lips were so gorgeous and red. “Kiss me,” I tell him and he does. A long, deep kiss. He licks my lips and kisses me again. He’s in deeper, going harder and faster. I love how he looks when he’s above me. His eyes get so intense. I run my palm down his chest. His skin ispale and beautiful as always. I find myself moaning now, it’s intense in such a good way. He knows just how to fuck me.

I loose myself in the moment. It’s just Elio and I, him inside of me and everything just melts away. I’m lost in all he’s making me feel and all he means to me and all we mean to each other. I feel him wrap his hand around me and stoke me. It doesn’t take long for me to come. I hear his satisfied moan and we kiss as he comes inside me. It’s amazing. More than amazing.

“I love you so much, Oliver,” he whispers to me, panting.

“I love you so much, Elio,” I whisper back to him.

 

* * *

 

The presence of Annella and the Professor works wonders for all of us. Annella takes her time and brushes Sofie’s hair every morning. It becomes a little routine for them. The Professor has long talks with Michael about school and philosophy and sometimes Ben joins. At sixteen, Ben is taller than Michael, Elio and the professor, but still is a couple of inches shorter than me. I’m teaching him how to drive and the Professor comes along for the rides. It’s great fun. He talks about his youth and things he did at 16.

“Any special ladies?” He asks Ben. I smile and say nothing.

“A couple,” Ben says with a shrug. “But I’ve decided not to date this coming school year and focus on myself. Maybe I can get a scholarship for baseball, you know? I can’t get too distracted.”

“Wise man,” the Professor says and I know Ben feels proud of being called a man.

 

My birthday comes and goes and it’s another wonderful time, with Elio and I, again, being able to get away for a few days. This time we drive to Malibu and stay by the beach.

“Do you remember that time for your birthday, we went away and left the twins with Kelly? They were 5.” Elio asks me.

I grin at the memory. “Oh when we were going to drive to Vegas but we ended up in Bakersfield and couldn’t wait so we got a hotel there and ended up staying the weekend there instead?”

Elio chuckled. “Yeah. That,” he said he said grinning back at me. We look out at the ocean from our hotel room. 

“It’s kinda nice, the kids getting older,” I whisper in his ear as I bury my nose in his dark curls. “We have a bit more time.”

“Mmmmm, we do don’t we?” He asked turning to face me.

“Yes,” I say as I pull him to me and kiss him.

 

* * *

 

We were back home to see Michael off to school. He was renting an apartment near campus this time. He wasn’t going to need to come home for laundry any more on the weekends. It was bittersweet. I was glad the Professor was there. They had a moment together and then he took a moment with Elio and then he came an hugged me.

“Be responsible,” I said. He nodded. “And if you need anything, you call home. No matter the time or day. We’re always here son.”

“Thanks dad,” he said smiling. He then turned, hugging Ben and Sam and Sofia. He got into his Civic and we all watched as he took off.

Elio and I looked at each other. “Don’t cry,” Elio whispered so only I could here. “Don’t cry because then I’ll cry.”

“I won’t cry,” I said. My voice was a little shaky though.

“Don’t cry dads,” Ben said, bumping to get in between us and putting an arm around our necks. “Your best and favorite son is still here at home.”

“Yup! Me!” Sam said.

 

* * *

 

“It’s the last day of summer!” Sofia said to me. She was sitting on the passenger side as we drove home. Sam in the backseat, headphones on.

“It is,” I said.

“Of course it’s always summer in California!” She said giggling.

I glanced over at her and smiled. Sofia looked so much like Elio. She had the pale skin and green eyes and dark hair. She straightened her hair a lot but at times left it to curl and wave naturally.  She had his face, except it was a little rounder and her chin a bit softer. “Indeed it is,” I said. 

“Maybe grandpa Perlman will want to go to Cold Stone with us!”

“Since when are we going?” I asked.

“Since we realized its the last day of summer,” Sofia said grinning. I laughed. I could never quite say no to her and going to Cold Stone seemed like a nice idea anyway.

We pulled into the drive way. Elio was in the studio today but he told me he wouldn’t be long. I was expecting him home by dinner time. The twins and I walked inside the house. Ben was at baseball practice and depending on what time Elio was coming home, he would be picking him up. We walked in and found Annella and the Professor in the living room reading.

“Oh, welcome home!” Annella said and got up to greet us. The twins and I joined them in the living room and Sofia said she wanted ice cream. Annella was happily chatting with Sofia when I glanced over at the Professor. He looked... odd.

“You alright?” I asked getting up and walking towards him. He looked pale and seemed to be struggling to breathe. He didn’t answer me.

“Samuel?!” Annella asked and I heard the panic in her voice. The Professor made as if to stand up, but he lost his balance and stumbled sideways and fell. Annella cried out in panic, as did Sofia.

I rushed to the Professor’s side, he had his hand to his chest. “Sam! Go get me the phone! Call 911! Your grandfather is having a heart attack!”

I watched Sam run to the kitchen. Annella was crying and kneeling by the Professor. Sofia had come to kneel beside me and was holding his hand. Sam ran back to the living room and handed me the phone.

It was almost as if I had left my body. I was asked a million questions but thank god, within minutes an ambulance was at our drive way. Sam opened the door for them and soon the Professor was on a stretcher and was being wheeled out of the house. Sofia had gotten Annella’s purse and she climbed into the back of the ambulance with the Professor. The twins and I climbed in my car and we took off after the ambulance.

I got my cellphone and called Elio. My heart was pounding and I felt as if I was going to be sick with what I was about to tell him. He didn’t answer me.

“Fuck!” I said. I handed the phone to Sofia. “Keep calling dad,” I said. My hands were shaking. I looked up, following the ambulance. “When he answers hand me the phone.” 

“Ok,” Sofia said in a shaky voice.

I looked over and saw she was crying. “It’s ok baby girl,” I said soothingly and caressed her hair. “Grandpa will be ok. Ok?”

“Ok,” she said again and she tried calling Elio.

I looked in the rear view mirror and saw Sam, concerned and paled and staring at the ambulance too. “You were awesome Sam. Thank you for what you did,” I told him.

He met my eyes in the mirror. “You’re welcome, Dad,” he answered.

 

* * *

 

We were at the hospital and they had wheeled the Professor in. Soon he was somewhere we couldn’t go and all we could do was wait. Sofia and Sam were hugging Annella and she had an arm around each twin. Her eyes were red where she had cried but she was pulled together now. I had tried Elio several more times and had then just left a voice mail and text telling him to call me ASAP.

The idea of having to tell him felt horrible. I walked over and hugged Annella and the twins. “Thank you for your quick thinking Oliver,” Annella said.

“You don’t have to thank me for anything,” I said softly. My phone rang and I jumped. I grabbed my phone and saw it was Ben. Elio and I had gotten Ben a cell phone. We had told the twins they would get one also when they began high school. I answered. 

“Hey dad!” Ben said without waiting for me to say hello. “Tyler wants me to go to his house after practice. Is that cool?”

I took a deep breath in. “No, son,” I said. I looked at my watch. “How much longer till practice is over?”

Ben was silent. “It just ended. What’s wrong?”

“I’ll tell you when I see you,” I told him. “I’m on my way.” I hung up and looked at Annella. “I have to go get Ben,” I said.

“Ok,” Annella said nodding. She was sitting now and her and Sofia were holding hands. Sam was leaning on her shoulder.

“Guys, take care of your grandmother,” I said to Sam and Sofia, both nodded. “I’ll be as quick as possible,” I said.

I left and was getting into my car when my phone rang. It was Elio. My stomach clenched.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey!” He said. “What’s up. I just got to my phone, I was recording.”

I took a deep breath in. “Baby,” I said. I felt my chin quiver but I wanted to keep a steady voice.

“What? Oliver! What is it?”

“Your father had a heart attack. He’s at UCLA medical center.” Elio was silent. “Elio? Baby?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah. I’m, I’m on my way,” he said.

“Elio, before you start to drive just take a deep breath ok? I’m sure everything will be alright.”

“Alright,” He said.

“Your mom and the twins are there, I’m on my way to get Ben.”

“Ok,” Elio said. He sounded a bit out of breath. “I’ll see you soon,” he said.

 

* * *

 

Ben was waiting for me and jogged to the car when he saw me approach. He climbed in quickly and threw his school bag and duffle bag in the car. He had showered and changed after his practice. He had his uniform slacks and a school tee shirt on.

“What happened?” He asked pulling on his seat belt.

“Grandpa Perlman had a heart attack,” I said softly.

Ben let our a huff of breath. “Oh my god! Is he ok?”

“I don’t know, I came to pick you up. We hadn’t heard from a doctor or anything yet. Your grandmother is at the hospital with the twins,” I said.

We drove in silence for a while. “He has to be ok, dad,” Ben said after a while.

“He will be son,” I said.

 

* * *

 

By the time we reached the hospital and had made it back inside the ER Elio had arrived. The moment I saw him I ran to him and just held him tight.

“The doctor came. He’s awake,” Elio said.

“Ok,” I said pulling back.

Elio looked at Ben. “He’ll be ok, Ben,” Elio said reassuringly. Ben nodded and walked over to Annella and the twins and sat with them.

“Fuck sakes,” Elio said softly. “They’re going to put him on medication and we can see him in a while.” I nodded looking at Elio.

I caressed his face. “At least he’s awake,” I said.

Elio closed his eyes and let out a breath. I kissed his forehead and hugged him. I wasn’t sure what to say. Saying everything was going to be ok felt like an empty promise. I held him tight. “I love you,” I whispered. He relaxed in my arms and I smiled.

“I love you. Oh, the doctor,” Elio said and we pulled apart.

A lady walked to us and Annella and the kids got up and we crowded around her. “I’m Dr. Ortiz,” she said. “Samuel is awake and talking. You can see him. But just take it easy on him,” she said. “For the time being he won’t require surgery or anything but we will have to put him on medication to control his blood pressure.”

“When can he come home?” Sofia asked.

Dr. Ortiz smiled at her. “We’re not sure yet,” she said. “We will probably have a better idea of that tomorrow.”

I put my arm around Elio. “Thank you,” Elio told the doctor.

She nodded. “Ok, take care,” she said.

I took a deep breath in. “Ok, guys, let’s let dad and Grandma Annella go see Grandpa first. Then we’ll go ok?” I said. 

“Ok,” they all said.

Elio looked at me and smiled. He put his arm around Annella and they walked down the hospital corridor.

 

* * *

 

We didn’t get home till almost midnight. Sofia fell sleep on Ben and Sam fell sleep on Annella. Elio and I had decided to keep the kids home from school tomorrow.

While we had been waiting on Elio and Annella, Ben had asked me if I had called Michael. I had said no. He told me he could do it and I nodded.

“So Grandpa Perlman is ok, Daddy?” Sofia had asked.

“Yes, sweetheart. He will be. He’s a little weak right now,” I said and looked over at Sam. “But he’ll be ok.”

I had gone and hugged each of my kids good night and told them to not worry, that Grandpa was going to be ok. Elio was with his mom. I was sitting at the edge of the bed when Elio walked in. I got up and hugged him again. “Baby, I’m so sorry,” I said.

“I’m so glad you were here and my mom wasn’t alone with him when it happened,” Elio said.

I nodded. “I’m glad I was here too,” I said.

Elio and I undressed and crawled into bed. He cuddle close to me and I held him in my arms. ”I’ve never thought about my parents dying,” Elio said.

“No one’s dying,” I told him.

“No, but you know what I mean.” I did. I just didn’t want to think about it either. A world without Annella or the Professor was one I didn’t want to think about. “Maybe... maybe we should think about having them here more. Or maybe I need to hire someone to be with them at the Villa. God what if this had happened at the Villa! I’m so far away!”

“I know baby,” I said. “I’m glad it didn’t. We’ll figure it out. They can even live with us. The kids would love it.”

“Yeah,” he said softly.

I caressed Elio’s hair. “It’s the last day of summer,” I said.

“Summer has always been our season, hadn’t it?” he asked softly.

This made me smile. I remembered what Sofia had said in the car ride home. It seemed like a hundred years ago. “Lucky for us it’s always summer in California.”

“Let summer never end, then,” Elio whispered into my chest.

I close my eyes and keep caressing his hair. It didn’t take long for my tired body and mind to fall sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Darlings!  
> I won’t be posting in the week becoming because my birthday is coming up and I’m taking sometime to myself!  
> As always: thank you for continuing to read this story! It means so much to me that you’ve enjoyed it and I love bringing it to life!  
> So no new chapter the week coming but I’ll be back to posting beginning Sunday March 17!  
> Hugs to you all! <3


	98. What’s In A Name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _We’re picking up where we left off in the last chapter, the family is still reeling from Grandpa Samuel’s heart attack... Enjoy! <3_

My father came home a few days later and I was glad it was a Saturday because all the kids wanted to be there. It was moments like this I was so happy Oliver always insisted on a mini van.

We got home and my mother and I slowly walked dad to the bedroom. The twins were circling around us and Oliver and Ben had gone ahead to ready his bed.

“Oh, no need for such a fuss,” my dad said in his soft voice.

“You make a fuss when you love someone, Grandpa,” Sofia said as if he didn’t know. My mom and I chuckled.

We walked into the bedroom and Ben and Oliver practically lifted my dad and put him on the bed.

“Oh! Ok! Thank you boys!” My dad said chuckling.

The twins came and I saw how Sofia was fluffing his pillows and she took off his shoes. “Oh thank you, Principessa,” my mother said kissing her head. She looked at Oliver and I. “You two have raised some wonderful children.”

As if on cue, Michael’s voice came booming down the hallway. “Where is everyone?”

“Here!” Sam said going to the bedroom door. Michael quickly rushed in.

“Hey!” He said and went and hugged my dad. “How you feeling?”

“Better each day son, don’t worry about me.”

“Hard to do, Grandpa,” Michael said with a half smile.

The kids sat around my dad’s bed and I looked at the sight in front of me. It was nice and soothing really, knowing my kids made my father feel better. Oliver came and kissed the side of my head. “How about some grilled chicken for dinner?” He asked. “I left some marinating.”

There was a chorus of agreement and Oliver went off to up start the grill.

 

* * *

 

We were sitting around outside, eating. There was light conversation, the kids filling Michael and my dad in on their week at school. Once the conversation had quieted down, Ben let out a sigh.

“Ok,” Ben said. “Should we address the elephant in the room?”

Oliver and I looked at each other and then him. “What?” I asked.

He looked at my parents. “You guys should move in with us,” he said.

I chuckled. “Indeed, Ben,” I agreed. I looked at my parents. “I think it would be a good idea. That way we can all help you both out. We would love to.”

“Grandma you can do my hair everyday!” Sofia said.

“I thought you liked the way I did your hair,” Oliver said with mock indignation.

“Of course I do daddy,” Sofia said bringing her shoulder up and tilting her face towards it. “But it’s fun having girl time with grandma too!” Oliver grinned.

I looked back at my parents. “Will you think about it?” I asked.

“Or would you just agree?” Ben asked. I looked over his face. His worry was so obvious it made my chest ache.

“I don’t want you to worry about me son,” my dad said patting Ben’s hand. “You are far too young and there are too many wonderful things in your life to waste worry on me.”

“Well, I am you know? You’re my only grandfather. You and grandma. You’re our only grandparents.”

We all sat in silence for a moment. I blinked and looked at Oliver who seemed a bit overwhelmed as well.

“And I couldn’t be more proud of that,” my dad said with a smile. “How spoiled am I to be grandfather to you fine men and fine lady,” he said motioning to Sofia. “I’m in good company no?” My dad asked.

“The best,” I said.

 

* * *

 

Later that night Oliver and I were getting ready for bed. “Your grilled chicken is so amazing. I swear I’ve not tasted any that good anywhere else,” I told him as he brushed his teeth. I was leaning on the doorway of the bathroom. “What’s your secret? How is it we have been living together years and I can never make that chicken taste that good!”

He rinsed his mouth and wiped his lips clean. He winked my way. “If I tell you, I’ll have to kill you.”

I laughed. “Oh please,” I said rolling my eyes. “You don’t scare me.” I turned and started walking to our bed.

“No? You should be!”

“I’m not!” I said grinning and looked back and was surprised to see Oliver rush at me. I tried to run didn’t move fast enough and he grabbed me and began to tickle me. He never got tired of this. He always pinned me down and tickled me whenever he could. 

I tried to get away in vain. I was shirtless and with jogging pants on. He was only in his boxers. Oliver had me pinned down on the floor, on our thick rug, so it wasn’t too uncomfortable, but I could hardly breath because I was laughing so much. I was trying as hard as I could to get away but it was all in vain. He was bigger and stronger and I loved it so much.

Suddenly I felt his lips on my neck. I let out a soft moan, I was panting. I felt his gentle bites and felt him press his hips down on me. I slid my hands across his shoulders and up the back of his neck, grabbing his hair. My lips found his. We kissed deeply. I slid my legs out from under him and slid them open so he could press down on me.

I felt another moan escape my lips as he felt his hard on press down on me. “Wanna fuck?” I asked. 

“When do I ever not?” He replied. I laughed.

There were sudden knocks on our door and it burst open. Oliver and I scrambled up.

“Dads!” It was Ben. He saw us on the floor. “Damn! Warn a brother why don’t you!”

Oliver climbed off me and helped me up. “Son, you’re old enough to know not to just burst into our bedroom. We do this every night, so...”

“Oh! Enough! Enough!”

I laughed. “What’s up?” I asked. I looked at him and saw he had his hands over his eyes which made me chuckle.

“I don’t need the year. I want to change my last name now. I want it and it would mean a lot for me to tell Grandpa Perlman about it and see me do it.”

Oliver and I looked at each other. I stayed quiet as I felt this was between Oliver and Ben really. If it was me, I would said yes the first time Ben had brought it up. Oliver put his hands on his hips.

“You’re sure, Benny?”

“Yes,” Ben said lowering his hands and looking at both of us. “Yes. I am sure. Plus, I’ve lived 16 years with your last name now I can try my other father’s name and see how it fits.”

I laughed and Oliver grinned. “Alright,” he said with a nod. “You’re your own man and if this is what you want, I am ok with it. Hey, do me a favor though, run it by your mom first.” 

“You don’t think she’ll say no do you?” Ben said suddenly worried. 

“I doubt it,” Oliver said. “And if she does you and I will sit down with her and talk to her about it. I’m on your side about this.”

“Thanks dad,” Ben said looking relieved. “Ok. Well.. you can keep on!” He said and gagged as he walked out the room and closed the door behind him. Oliver walked over and locked it.

He came over and plopped down on the bed. I slipped off his boxers and then took off my pants and boxers and climbed on top of him. He grinned up at me. “Where were we?” I asked.

“I was seducing you,” he said.

“Keep doing it,” I said softly. I leaned down and kissed his lips. I felt his hands slide up my thighs, to my hips and around, grabbing my ass. I moaned. We were growing harder, both of us. I moved my hips on him. I loved the look on his face as he pushed his hips up. I kept moving my hips as I leaned down and kissed his lips. His hands felt so good on me.

“I love your ass,” he said kissing down my neck. 

“How much?” I asked grinning.

“So fucking much,” he said.

I got up on my knees. He reached down and stroked me. I groaned. I watched as he jerked me off. I love his hands on me. Anywhere. Everywhere. “Turn over,” I said. 

I loved how Oliver grinned at me as he turned over. I grinned back. I rubbed my erection on his ass as I kissed his back, caressing him all over. 

“You are so fucking sexy,” I told him.

“How sexy?” He asked.

“The sexiest man I have ever seen in my whole life,” I replied. I bit his back, gently.

“Ow!”

I laughed and spanked him. “Shut up! You like it!”

“I never said I didn’t!”

“Pass me the lube,” I said as I kissed him and gently bit him. 

He reached over and passed me the lube. I put some on me and threw it to the side. I lined our bodies up and entered him slowly. I loved the feel of me sliding into him. I groaned.

“That’s so good,” he groaned.

“It is,” I said. I moved in and out of him slowly. This required me using a lot of my self control. I always wanted to just fuck him hard and fast and not hold back and just give in.... but every once in a while I wanted to make love to him. “I swear you make me want to lose control,” I said in a throaty whisper. I leaned down, laying my forehead on his back. “It’s so fucking hard to not just fuck your brains out.” 

I felt him arch his lower back and spread his knees wider for me. I grinned and my right hand slid down and grabbed his ass, I pushed in further. “You fuck me so good,” he said.

“I know,” I replied as I willed myself to keep the slower tempo. I wrapped my left arm around his muscular body and slid my palm down, grasping his throbbing erection. Oliver began to move his hips back and forth, he was fucking himself between my cock and hand and I just let him, my hand still deliciously squeezing his ass cheek. “Oh you want this don’t you?” I asked teasingly. 

“Can’t you tell daddy?” He asked in a sexy whisper.

Oh fuck. I felt the thrill build in my chest and travel down to my stomach. “You’re asking for it,” I warned him. My stomach was clenched in tight excitement.

He gave a deep groan and he pushed back on my erection. I felt the tightening of his body. “Asking for what?” He asked innocently.

“Don’t play with me,” I warned him as I squeezed his ass again.

“I’m being good. I’d never play with you,” he said breathlessly. I calmed slightly. “Aren’t I being good?” He continued. I looked down at his perfect body. “Aren’t I being so good for you daddy?”

I spanked him. Hard. He knew what calling me that did to me. We didn’t over use it, either. There were little things we did that we sort of... saved for when we were in the mood for more. 

I pulled out and slid off the bed. He complained at me pulling out of him. “Turn around,” I said, my voice was shaking slightly. He did so and looked up at me. He had the sexiest smirk on his face. I squinted my eyes at him as I grabbed his legs and pulled him to the edge of the bed, ass just hanging off. Our bed was tall and it was the perfect height. I entered him quickly. I loved how it knocked the breath out of him.

“We’re gonna see how much you’re smiling when you feel me all day tomorrow,” I said in a low growl. I held his legs tightly against my body and began to fuck him. Hard. As hard as I could. It felt amazing. So good. This was how I always wanted him. Submitting and just taking it anyway I wanted to give it to him. It hadn’t changed all these years. In fact, the more he gave in, the more I wanted it. It almost felt like an endless cycle, an insatiable hunger for his gorgeous body. Then all the memories of other times I had fucked him senseless came flooding back to me and it just made me want to fuck him harder. And harder. And harder.

“Oh... fuck... fuck...” he was groaned. I looked at his handsome face, eyes shut. The look on his face was everything. The way his brow furrowed and the way he scrunched up his nose. The way the threw his head back. 

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” I panted. I loved his long muscular legs. I squeezed his thighs. I had left bruises at times. I loved seeing them. I’d place my palm on them sometimes as we showered and I loved when my hands lined right up. He said I was admiring my handiwork. “Baby, you are so fucking beautiful,” I told him. I knew he liked hearing this. He always told me how much he liked it.

I pushed his left knee, his foot rested on my chest and I leaned forward, I was able to go in deeper and the change in angle affected him greatly. I loved how his thighs trembled. That made me feel incredible. 

“I can’t take much more,” he gasped.

I felt the sweat on my chest and back. “You can ‘til I’m done!” I slid my hand down the back of his left thigh and again grabbed hold his ass and spread him. I dug my fingers into his flesh. I wasn’t easing up. I was only going harder.

“Yes, daddy,” he gasped.

That sounded so good. “You feel what you do to me?” I asked. I was panting faster. My whole body was on fire. My muscles tightened all over, I looked down at Oliver. He was so gorgeous like this. Taking me, like this. “Come,” I said. He reached and barely stroked himself twice and came.

It felt and looked amazing. I watched as his released slid down his stomach. I reached for it, pressing it into his skin when I came. I pushed in deep. So deep. He cried out and looked up at me and I couldn’t help but grin at the ecstasy I was feeling, the ecstasy he was making me feel. He had grabbed a hold of my wrist. I stayed in deep as I emptied myself in him. I literally bent over and just collapsed on him. I felt the sticky wetness between us. I loved that feeling. I closed my eyes, satisfied as we laid there panting.

“Well... fuck,” Oliver said and I started laughing. 

“You can’t hold me responsible for what I do when you call me daddy,” I reminded him.

“Oh, I know,” he said and kissed the top of my head. I pushed up slightly and my lips found his. We slid further onto the bed and kept kissing. I finally slid out, we both groaned as I did so and I rolled over and laid beside him. “That was so good,” he whispered. I looked over at him, grinning still. We finally calmed down. He got up after a moment and came back with a wet towel and rubbed it on my abdomen, cleaning me up. When we had cleaned up, we crawled under the covers.

“You’re welcome,” I said jokingly and he laughed.

“Mmmm,” he moaned as he wrapped me in his arms. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” I replied and happily hummed into his chest. I took a long breath in. “Don’t take this the wrong way,” I said softly as I gently tugged on his chest hair. “But it makes me so happy Ben wants my last name.”

Oliver pulled me closer. “I’m glad you feel that way baby,” he whispered back. “He’s as much your son as he is mine.” I felt warm all over at his words and kissed his skin. We held each other until we drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I wrote a little something while on break!  
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> [Return To You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18095495/chapters/42774881) 


	99. Family

My parents and I came to an agreement. They would stay with us. The kids were incredibly happy and I was beyond relieved. I knew it wasn’t an easy decision and it meant so much for my parents to make it.

Ben had indeed spoken to Karen as Oliver had asked him to. She had spoken to Oliver and then she called me.

“Hello?”

“Elio, hey.”

“Hi, Karen.”

“Hey! So Benjamin wants to change his last name.”

“He does,” I replied.

“You’re ok with that?”

I smiled. “I am more than ok,” I said softly. “I am beyond ecstatic about it. He asked for it a while back, back in January actually and Oliver has asked him to wait a year.”

“Yeah he told me.”

“Then dad got sick and I think that sort of pushed him into wanting this more.”

“Yeah that’s understandable,” she replied. “Well, if you’re all on board, then so am I.”

I grinned. “Thanks Karen.”

“I just thought, has he told Michael?”

“Uh... I don’t know.”

“Ok, well, that’s between them! Ok. Take care. Say hi to your dad for me. See you soon.”

“I will, thank you, see you soon.”

 

* * *

 

Since Ben was under 18 he needed both parents to sign paper work for him and Oliver took care of all that. Then it was about 30 days before the change became official. No one knew at home but the three of us and Ben was really excited about it.

“So I figured once the change is done I’ll go do my final driver’s test and then I’ll come home as Benjamin Perlman,” he said with a huge smile on his face a Saturday morning in mid October.

I squeezed his shoulder. “You are going to make the Perlman name so proud,” I told him. He looked really pleased.

Halloween came and went and for once we had no children to dress up. It was a bit strange. Oliver and I were on the living room couch. I was leaning back against Oliver. 

“I’ve been involved in dressing someone up for 15 years,” I told Oliver as I watched the twins handing candy out. Benjamin was in his room with his friend Tyler on his PlayStation.

“I know,” he said. He glanced at me. “What are we gonna do when the twins go away to college?”

I felt my eyes widen and shook my head. “I don’t know.” I suddenly laughed. “Be able to walk around naked and fuck all over the house.”

Oliver laughed with me.

“What’s so funny dads?” Sam asked coming back to the living room and plopping down at the opposite end of the couch.

“You don’t wanna know, son,” I said and looked up at the tv grinning. 

“Oh my virgin ears!” He cried out.

“I didn’t even say anything!” I said and threw a cushion at him.

Sofia, although she hadn’t dressed up per say, was all in black with black lipstick and dark eye shadow. She had sat Valerie and I down a week ago and told us she was ready to start wearing makeup. We agreed and Valerie took her shopping. She had her dark wavy hair in two long braids. She care back to the living room with the bowl of candy and sat at an arm chair. 

“How long do kids usually come?”

“It’ll be over by 9,” I told her.

We kept watching the movie on tv. It was Little Shop of Horrors.

“I wish I had one of those plants,” Sofia said.

“Are you nuts? What would you do with it?” Sam asked her.

“Feed you to it!” She said rolling her eyes.

“Wow!” Sam looked at Oliver and I. “If I ever turn up missing you know who did it!”

Oliver and I chuckled.

 

* * *

 

Second weekend of November, the name change paperwork was done and Oliver took Ben to his driving test.

My parents and I were in the kitchen. My mother wanted to make some Italian food to celebrate when Ben came home with his driver’s license. Sofia wanted to help so she was in the kitchen with us and Sam busy in his sketch book.

My mother had put on some music and the kitchen was loud and happy. Once my dad was tired he joined Sam at the breakfast nook and they enjoyed a private conversation. I smiled. I thought it would be nice for Sam to think back of moments like this and remember his grandfather.

We were in the middle of the cooking when Michael came home. Oliver had called him and let him know Ben was going for his driver’s test and he wanted him to come over.

I hugged him and he kissed my mom on the cheek and Sofia on the head and he joined Sam and my dad.

I began to clean up as my mom and Sofia began to cook. I felt so content. It was moments like this that I always had hoped for and looked forward to. It was moments like this that brought me the kid of joy I would keep with me forever.

It was maybe another hour or so later that Oliver called.

“Ok, bring everyone out, Ben wants you all to see him pull up!”

I laughed and agreed and we all walked outside and within five minutes, we saw the minivan turn into the drive way and drive up to the house. I grinned as Ben parked and got out. Michael high fived him and my dad and mom hugged him.

“Three more years and that’ll be me!” Sam sad. He slapped Ben on the back.

“Oh lord! Watch out Los Angeles!” Sofia said rolling her eyes. I chuckled.

 

* * *

 

Dinner was a very noisy affair. My mother still had music playing and it had been a minute that all four kids had been home for dinner. Also, with Ben and his baseball practices, most dinners were just the twins and sometimes Oliver or I had to work and we wouldn’t make it home on time, so having everyone home was a nice treat.

Dinner was delicious and once we were done my mother brought out the dessert she and Sofie had made. It was then that Ben took his driver’s license out of his wallet and showed it to my dad.

My father leaned back and smiled as he looked at it. Oliver, Ben and I looked at him with anticipation. When he finally noticed he gasped.

“Benjamin!” He said.

“What is it?” My mother asked.

My dad leaned over and pointed. “Oh! Tesoro!” She said.

Ben smiled and bowed his head. He quickly wiped his eyes. “What?” Michael asked confused by it all.

“Can I see?” Sofia asked and my mother gave her Ben’s license. She furrowed her brow. She gasped and grinned. “Benny changed his last name!”

Sam and Michale reached for his license. I watched Michael’s face. “Welcome to the family, Benjamin Perlman,” Sam said.

Sofia laughed. “You’re one of us now!”

“For the record he always was,” I said. “As is Michael, of course, we’re all family.” I kept looking at Michael’s face. He didn’t say anything just handed Ben his license back. I looked at Oliver but he didn’t seem to notice anything. The laughter and talking continued. Michael didn’t say anything. 

 

Once we were all done, we began to clear the table. Michael took a stack of dishes into the kitchen and I decided to follow. We were alone in there.

“Hey, you alright?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said without meeting my eyes.

I stepped closer. “You’re not feeling left out, are you?” I asked. It’s the feeling I got.

He looked up at me in surprise. “Do you know why he did it?” He asked me.

“Well, I believe it was a combination of how your grandfather reacted to the People Magazine article and I think my dad having the heart attack impacted him quite a bit.”

Michael nodded and stayed quiet. 

“Does it bother you?” I asked. 

“No,” he said giving me a small smile. “No it doesn’t bother me. He mentioned to me he wanted to do this I just didn’t think he would go through with it, but he did.”

I nodded. I took another step closer to Michael. “What’s wrong then, son?”

To my surprised he leaned against me and hugged me. I held him for a minute. He hadn’t done this in a while. The last time he had sought comfort in a hug he had been 12 or 13. He pulled back and I could see the conflict on his face. “I’ll feel like an asshole if I don’t do it either,” he said. 

“What?! Why?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Well, imagine, like one day you and dad marry. I’m sure he’ll change his last name to yours, and Ben has changed his and... and...”

“And you want to keep yours?” I asked.

He blushed and didn’t answer.

“Oh, Michael,” I said grabbed the back of his neck. “Son, your last name is yours. This meant a great deal to Ben and he took steps to do what he felt was right for him. He’s not you. You’re you. Ok?”

He looked into my eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“For what? Michael, you’ve done nothing wrong.”

He nodded. He placed a hand on his chest. “It’s not that I don’t love you,” he said, still trying to explain what I already understood.

“Michael, the fact you and I have two different last names means nothing. You’re no less my son, I’m no less your dad, we’re no less family. My parents are your grandparents. Sam and Sofia are as much your siblings as Ben is.” He looked up at me and nodded. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t change your last name. You’re no less a part of the family.”

He nodded. “I...” he seemed to be finding the words and I gave him time. “I don’t see it as honoring Arthur,” he said to me. “I see it as honoring dad.”

I nodded at him.

“When I was 12 and we went to New England I saw another side of dad,” he told me softly. I looked into his eyes. “I was so used to dad the way he is with you and with us and seeing him with Arthur,” he shook his head. “It was obvious for me how hard it was for him to be there and now that I’m older I fully understand and...” Michael shook his head. “He over came so much.”

“I know,” I said rubbing Michael’s arm.

“Not to say you didn’t,” he told me.

“No, but he had it harder,” I said. Michael looked at me and nodded. “I was lucky. My parents always accepted me. I didn’t have it as hard as your dad did growing up.”

Michael nodded. “I’m proud of him,” he said with a great smile. “He inspires me.” I felt myself unable to speak and so I nodded at Michael. “So because of that I’m proud of my last name. Because it’s his. He gave it to me.”

I swallowed and finally found my voice. “Well make sure you tell him, son. It would truly mean a lot to him to hear you say that, believe me,” I said.

He nodded and gave me a quick hug. I saw him wipe his face as he walked out fo the kitchen and make his way into the half bathroom downstairs.

 

* * *

 

Sam, Sofia and Ben helped with the clearing of the table and the washing of the dishes.

“Why aren’t you helping?” Ben asked Michael.

“Because he’s a guest!” I answered and Michael stuck his tongue out at him. He was sitting with my dad and Oliver at the breakfast nook, they were all having coffee. Once the dishes were done we all sat down and my mother passed around some biscotti she had made.

The twins began to yawn and I ushered them up to bed. Ben followed after. Michael hugged my dad and kissed my mother’s cheek. 

“Dad, walk me to my car?” He asked.

“Sure,” Oliver agreed.

I walked to the front door with them. He turned to hug me. “I love you,” I told him softly, as I patted his back. “I’m proud of you, son.”

“Thanks dad,” he whispered and I watched as he and Oliver walked out. I gently closed the door and went to wash the last of the dishes.

 

* * *

 

I was already upstairs and in bed by the time Oliver walked into our bedroom. I looked up from the book I was reading.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hi,” he replied.

I watched him as he took off his watch and laid it on the dressed. He took a deep breath in and out. “Had a long talk with Michael.”

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said. He looked my way and smiled. I smiled back. I watched Oliver as he undressed and then he got in the bed and I slid closer to him. I opened my arms and he laid against me. He sat in silence a while. “He told me he was proud of me.”

I grinned. “He told me the same thing.”

Oliver nodded, his cheek rubbing my chest. “I spent years wishing my father would utter those words to me and he never did. Hearing Michael say it though...” he trailed off.

“It was even better, wasn’t it?” I asked.

“Yes,” Oliver said. 

I kissed his forehead and lead my cheek on his head. “He wants to keep his last name to honor you,” I told him.

“He told me. I told him he didn’t have to explain that to anyone.”

“Exactly,” I said.

Oliver let out a soft sigh. “I’m so happy,” he whispered.

“So am I Baby,” I replied.

We turned off our lamps and settled down in bed. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust and when they did I saw Oliver was looking at me. “What?” I asked with a smile.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore,” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Not being loved by him. It.. it’s like it doesn’t matter anymore.”

I nodded and leaned in and kissed him. “Well, your children have filled in whatever you were missing a spectacular way.”

“Not just them, but you too. Your parents.”

“Your family,” I said. “Your family have given you all the love you need.”

“And then some,” Oliver replied. He caressed my cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you,” I said.

We kissed a while more and then held each other all night.


	100. Returning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _In the book, I know Oliver returns to the Villa the Christmas of ‘83. In my background story I follow the movie, in which he didn’t return to the Villa but only had that final conversation with Elio on the phone... so this is the first time they’ll be back at the Villa together! Enjoy!_

My parents had been with us nine months by the time June of 2005 came around. I knew they missed home and so we planned a family type to Crema for July.

I spoke to Valerie since it would mean the twins celebrating their 14th birthday there. She told me it was fine and to enjoy. We decided to stay the whole month. It would be the first time Oliver and I returned since the summer we met.

“I can’t believe we waited this long to go back!” Oliver said to me, and it made me think about that.

I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. It wasn’t sure if it was anticipation or nerves and maybe a combination of both. It made no sense really. Oliver and I were happy and in love but still, there was this sense of something else over me regarding us being together at the Villa. Maybe it was because last time we were there, he was mine, but only for a moment.

 

The flight was long and I was glad we were never insane enough to try to make this trip any earlier. The kids were old enough that they could entertain themselves with books and music.

I felt as if I was brimming with excitement when we landed, any apprehension gone, I was crazy to feel any. We then took the train, which the kids loved. Their excitement was endearing and my parents looked so happy.

Anchise had passed some years back and my father’s new grounds keeper, Giacomo was waiting for us in a minivan at the train station. My father sat with him up front and the rest of us crowded in. Sam ended up stretched out on top of Oliver, Michaeland I in the back row, and Sofia and Ben sat with my mother in the middle row. It was uncomfortable but I couldn’t be happier.

Stepping out of the van and looking up at the Villa made me feel things I hadn’t felt in 22 years. It was almost like a rush. I looked at Oliver, who caught my gaze and smiled and it was almost as if I was 17 again and there he was... Oliver. An enigmatic young man who I had fallen completely head over heels for and who half the time acted as if I didn’t exist. Had someone told me that summer I would meet the love of my life, the man I would build a home and life with, I would have considered them insane. Yet, here we were... and we had returned.

 

The days passed as if in a hot blur. The house had never been so noisy and so full of people. All the bedrooms were being used and Mafalda had never had so much laundry to do. Of course, we all helped out. Mafalda was older and slower but she still manned the kitchen as if her life depended on it and each meal was as amazing as I remembered. The kids ate and ate and Mafalda had ever been happier.

Sofia, who truly exuded the same charm Oliver had, quickly became her favorite and soon she was jointing my mother and Mafalda in the kitchen where they would chat and laugh. Her Italian improved tremendously. I was so proud of her. I heard her asking Mafalda things in Italian and my mother beamed at her and then at me.

The boys went out swimming and bike riding daily. I told them to just make sure to be home by sun down and every Friday and Saturday night, Ben and Michael would go to the little discotheque in town. They seemed to have met a couple of girls and one such evening before they took off I asked them if they had ever asked their dad to show them his dance moves.

“Ha! Ha!” Oliver said. “They were good enough to swoon you, so, they weren’t that bad!” I laughed and recalled Oliver dancing that hot night so many years ago.

The twins celebrated their birthday and Mafalda outdid herself. I had never eaten so much. My parents invited neighbors and friends and the Villa had never been fuller. It was an amazing day.

 

It was the Tuesday after the twins’s birthday party. The boys had taken off after lunch and Mafalda, my parents and Sofia had gone into town and suddenly Oliver and I were left alone in the Villa.

“Well, aren’t we lucky?” He asked.

“Whatever shall we do?” I asked him.

“I have an idea,” he said to me. 

We began by me playing the piano for him. It was something we had done hundreds and hundreds of times in all our years together, yet it felt different in Crema. The piano only had the stool and so Oliver sat me on his lap and I had to lean down to reach the keys. It didn’t help that he was tickling me and kissing my shoulders, back and neck.

I would laughed as his fingers grazed my sides and tried to flinch away. He was murmuring to me as he kissed my neck, the type of things that would make anyone blush.

“You’re terrible,” I said, turning to him and kissing him.

“What? You turn me on, you make me think such dirty things,” he said and turned me completely, I ended up straddling him as we kissed deeply.

I moaned as he kissed down my neck.

“Let’s go up to the attic,” he said grinning. I chuckled and nodded.

“We need to get some lube,” I said.

“One track mind,” he said shaking his head with mock shock and disappointment.

I laughed as we walked into the kitchen and down the hallway. “Oh did you want to take me up to the attic to talk?” I asked him. He simply laughed.

We went up the stairs and walked into the attic. The bright sun had it lit up enough. I went and grabbed one of the old mattresses and threw it down on the floor.

“Just like I remember,” he said. He reached into his pocket and produced a small bottle of lube. I chuckled. I took his hand and we settled on a the mattress together.

“I feel like I’m 17 again,” I said softly as I watched the dust dance in the sunlight shining in through the window.

“I know what you mean,” he said. We looked at each other. We turned to face each other. He reached up and caressed my face. “You haven’t changed a bit,” he said lovingly.

I grinned at him and pulled him to me. We began to kiss. “Neither have you,” I said breathlessly into his lips.

Our kisses were hungry. His hands began to roam my body, pulling me to him. He slid his large palm down my back and pushed my shorts down past my hips. I felt his hand slide across my waist and down my lower abdomen, inside my shorts. He wrapped his hands round my cock. I was already half hard. I moaned into his lips as he stroked me a few times.

“You should ride me,” Oliver said as he pushed his lips against mine.

“Should I?” I asked as he pushed my shorts down the rest of the way. I pushed his shorts down, kissing down his neck. I bit it and then licked the skin on his collar bone. He moaned as he pulled me against him, our chests pushing together. Once we were both undressed, I climbed on top of him.

“Mmmm I love when you’re on top,” Oliver said, grinning up to me. He ran his hands up my thighs and rubbed his thumbs on my hips. His touch felt so good.

He was fully hard now. I reached for the lube and stroked him as I spread it on his erection. I leaned forward and kissed his lips. I groaned as his cock rubbed against mine. I lifted up on my knees, he pushed his erection up and I slowly lowered myself onto it.We both groaned.

“I love that look on your face,” I said breathlessly.

He grinned. “You feel so good,” he moaned.

I tightened my body around him, making him groan again. I began to move on top of him, leaning forward, my palms on his warm chest, so I could go faster.

“Fuck, this is good,” I panted. His hand wrapped around my erection again. It was my turn to moan then.

He bent his knees and placed his feet flat on the mattress.Our bodies moved in unison. It was amazing, after all these years I knew exactly what Oliver felt like in me, how he moved and fucked. My body had his movements memorized, I could recall it all by memory. But when we were on the midst of it, it was almost as if it was happening anew, as if it was my first time feeling him in me. The excitement and hunger and need for him was very much the same.

I looked down at his face as we fucked. His face told me he felt the same. “Fuck yes,” he panted. I leaned down and bit his bottom lip. He groaned and opened his eyes and we stared at each other as I fucked him even faster.

I loved the look in his eyes. It was pure lust. He grabbed my hips tight, slamming up into me, over and over and over. He was leaving me breathless. Each deep, hard thrust felt as if it was going on deeper and deeper, filling me more. It felt so fucking good.

“Yes,” I said. My hands were now on either side of his head.

“Is that good?” He asked, grinning.

“Fuck yes,” I said.

He went harder. My cock was rubbing on his abdomen, leaking all over him and off the side of his body, my head was so sensitive. I was moaning and panting. I could feel my whole body tensing. My thighs squeezed his sides tighter.

“Come, baby,” he said panting. “Come now, baby.”

I came. It was a wonderful explosion and the released felt incredible. He pumped into me a a few more times and then came himself. We clung to each other a moment. Panting and kissing each other softly. He slid out of me after a while. I settled on top of him. I sighed in contentment.

“We should go get in the tub before everyone gets home,” Oliver whispered. Of course he’s right.

“Just a few more minutes,” I whispered back.

It felt just like it did all those years ago, but better. Me, head over heels over the good looking American in my home, except now, I know he’s just as crazy about me as I was about him.

 

* * *

 

We had gotten into the bathroom just in time. We had just started showered when we heard the unmistakable sounds of car doors slamming and voices talking. Once we had showered, we dressed and went downstairs. 

Mafalda and my mom and Sofia had started cooking. My mom had opened a bottle of wine. I saw Sofia look at it and I grinned. She was 14, I had started drinking wine at that age.

“Want some, Sofie?” I asked here.

“Can I?” She asked.

“You can, but only when me and dad or grandma and grandpa are around and give you permission.”

“Ok!” She said and my mother poured her a glass.

“Your papà was your age when he began to drink wine with meals sometimes,” my mother said.

We all looked at Sofia expectantly as she took a tentative sip. She made a bit of a face. “It’s bitter,” she said and we all chuckled.

 

Dinner was another loud affair. The boys had been out swimming with the two girls they had met and now someone’s little cousin, who was 15, had joined them and Ben kept teasing Sam about her. Oliver and I looked on in amusement.

“The girl pulled her shirt off and she had a white bikini on and I thought Sammy’s eyes were gonna pop out of his head!” Ben said chuckling.

“Well, I hope you’re all being respectful with these girls,” Oliver reminded them. We said things like this to the boys all the time.

“Yes dad,” they all chimed in. 

“Good, just remember to treat them the way you’d want someone to treat Sofia,” Oliver continued.

“Like a princess,” she said with a sigh and lifted her wine glass.

“What are you drinking?!” Sam said eyes wide.

“Wine,” Sofia answered with a grin.

“Want some Sam?” I asked. It would only be fair.

“Wine?” He asked making a face. “Not really... but can I have a beer?” He asked excitedly. Oliver, my father, Michael and I were all having one.

“No,” I said. “Here in Italy wine is typical with dinner but you can’t have beer yet.”

“How did you think you would get one if I can’t get one?” Ben asked.

“Thought I’d try!” Sam said with a mischievous grin.

The conversation continued and I leaned back on my chair and relaxed. I suddenly felt the unmistakable feel of Oliver’s foot on mine. It made me grin. I glanced his way and then looked away.

“Some things never change, huh boys?” My mother asked and I looked to see who she was talking to. “You two,” she said waving her finger between Oliver and I. All the kids sat there looking confused.

“How did you know?” Oliver asked. Somehow I felt as if the question wasn’t just as of right now, but also about back then in ‘83.

“I always knew,” my mother said with a wink.

“What did you always know?” Sam asked her.

My mother laughed and patted his cheek. “One day maybe your dads will tell you Tesoro!” She said.

I glanced at Oliver and held his hand. The loud chatter of the kids around the dinner table resumed and I placed my foot on his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed! I want to take a small moment to talk about how I think Elio would feel. Although the Villa was where they met and spent a wonderful summer, I don’t think Elio only had good memories about being there with Oliver. He went through Oliver leaving him and then dealing with the heartbreak after, so I believe the reason it took Elio this long to go back to the Villa with Oliver was because of that. Returning, happy as they are now, was like a healing for Elio. It finally healed any old unpleasant memories or feelings he had left and maybe wasn’t aware were still there even after all these years. Once he lands in Italy he realizes all those feelings are gone and he is nothing but happy! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! 10 more to go! HUGS <3


	101. Grown Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Oliver’s POV_

Our month in Italy was wonderful. We came home first week of August and at the end of that month, I turned 47. Elio made a huge deal out of it, of course, as he did for all my birthdays.

When school started, Ben began his senior year of high school. He was practically my height now. He was looking to get a baseball scholarship and Elio and I supported it all the way.

With Michael there had been no doubt he was going to go study at UCLA, he had been adamant about it since he was 14. Ben had not had those conversations with us. He had always been an athletic kid and when he had decided on baseball as his main sport we supported him. He was incredibly good and his coach had come to talk to us first week of October to tell us about the calls he had received from scouts.

“I’ve already gotten a call from Rice University,” his coach said.

“Houston, Texas,” I replied.

“They’re amazing,” Ben said excitedly.

“Tulane,” the coach continued.

“Louisiana,” I replied furrowing my brow. 

“They’ve produces 29 major league players over the years,” Ben said beaming.

“And the University Of Florida,” his coach said finishing his list. “Those are amazing baseball schools.”

“Florida,” I said nodding.

“Isn’t it amazing dad?” Ben asked.

“It is son,” I said, patting him on the back. “I’m so proud of you.”

 

Later that night, after dinner, I laid on the couch looking up at the ceiling.

“Hey daddy,” came a small voice. I sat up and saw Sofia.

“Hey baby,” I said with a smile. “What’s wrong?” She pursed her lips together and came towards me, sitting beside me on the couch and leaning into me. I wrapped an arm around her.

“There this boy,” she said softly.

“Ok?”

“And... and I’m not scared of boys, you know? Not like my friends that get all nervous, I mean I am surrounded by boys!”

“I know pumpkin,” I said leaning my cheek on her head.

“So we have biology together and we have a test tomorrow so yesterday I just was making conversation, since, you know...”

“You like him?” I asked.

I felt her shrug. “I thought I did?”

“What happened?” I asked.

We pulled back and I looked into her eyes. “We left class and made it to the cafeteria for lunch and we were in line waiting to get food. It was me, him and two of his friends and he kept talking to me so I was happy. This was like the longest we had ever talked. And he’s really smart and I like that!”

I nodded.

“So he made a comment and he was wrong so I corrected him. He looked at me like he didn’t believe me, so I explained with further detail and then he got mad at me!”

I raised my eyebrows. “He got mad that you corrected him?” I asked.

“Yes!” She said clearly upset. “He got close to me in line and was like, not cool correcting me in front of my friends like that. Plus, studies show girls aren’t as good in math and science as boys are.”

“That’s bullshit!” I said, suddenly wanting to wrap my fingers around this punk kid’s neck.

“That’s what I said!” Sofia said angrily. “I told him, I have three brothers and I without doubt I get the best grades combined than any of them, math and science included!”

“It’s true!” I said. “What did this idiot say?”

“Nothing,” she said. “And today he completely ignore me too.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry Sofie,” I said looking into the green eyes. They were wide and sad. My heart broke, of course and murderous thoughts regarding the little shit that had hurt my little girl’s feelings were circling my head. “And I know you’re only 14 and you’re not thinking of marriage or anything yet, but sweetheart, life is too complicated to have someone by your side that doesn’t believe in you, respect you, and makes you a better person.”

Sofia nodded and wiped her cheek as a tear fell.

“Now that is exactly the type of men we have raised your brothers not to be. And like you said, you live in a house full of them. But also, look at Karen and your mom. Steve is constantly bragging about Karen, how smart she is!” Sofia chuckled and nodded. “And Zach is always saying how amazing your mom is! How smart! How she’s a better lawyer! Zach loves that and he should because your mom is an incredibly smart and determined woman and your dad and Zach love her so much for it. Ask your dad. He always was amazed at how incredibly smart your mother is. And grandma Annella? Speaking all those languages and knowing all she knows about everything!”

Sofia smiled wider and nodded looking up at me.

“So with coming from your grandmother and mother you’re nothing but smart and amazing. And screw that idiot for being intimidated by it!”

Sofia furrowed her brow and nodded again.

“Sadly he probably won’t be the last, Sofie,” I said. “There are plenty of guys who somehow think they’re better just because they’re men. Well they’re wrong. You know better. You know better because you grew up in a home full of guys and just like you said, your grades were the best out of everyone’s. Even Michael’s and he brags about it. He’s proud of you. Ben and Sam and your dad and I, we’re proud of you.”

Sofia smiled. “I’m proud I’m smart too,” she said softly.

“Good! You should be!” I pulled her close again. “High school boys are such idiots,” I said.

Sofia laughed. “You were one once.”

“That’s now I know how idiotic they are,” I said and she laughed. I looked down and saw her eyes looked bright and happy again. Elio’s eyes. My heart warmed. I tickled her and she squirmed and laughed louder.

 

* * *

 

 

About two weeks later I came home from grocery shopping. It was about two in the afternoon and I found Elio in the kitchen looking through something.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“When I drove Ben to school this morning he spoke of college applications,” he said. He looked up at me as I laid all the bags on the counter.

“Texas, Louisiana, Florida,” I said.

Elio looked at me and his eyes showed all I felt. “So fucking far,” he said. “What’s wrong with UCLA?”

I walked around and wrapped my arms around him. “It’s not where he wants to go,” I said softly.

“What if the twins want to move away too?” Elio asked.

I pulled back and looked into his eyes. “Then we’ll miss them a lot and make sure they understand to come home for the holidays.”

“UGH!” Elio exclaimed and buried his face in my chest.

 

* * *

 

November rolled around as did the holiday season and then it was Elio’s birthday. He would be 40. It was a big deal. We had a big party. The whole family was there as well as lots of friends. We even told the kids they could invite one friend each. I rented a reception hall and had the party catered. Music was easy to book since Elio was friends with so many musicians.

I was so happy about it. I had wanted to rent a hotel room for the night but Elio said no that he had a surprise. The party wrapped past 1 am. Michael had the keys to my mini van and he took the twins, Ben and his grandparents home. “Call me when you all make it home!” I said.

“Yes sir!” He replied.

Elio and I climbed into his convertible and took off. “So,” he said to me as we stopped at our first red light. “I got myself a present.”

“Did you?” I asked, furrowing my brow.

“Yes,” he said grinning. “I knew you were having this huge party and I had been going back and forth on the present I bought myself, and so that’s why I told you not to buy me anything!” He said with a huge grin on his face.

“Ok! Now I’m intrigued!” I confessed.

We kept driving and got on Wiltshire. I turned the radio on and sang along to some music. Elio and I chatted about the party. “So how does it feel to be 40?” I asked.

“Amazing!” He said with his cute open mouth laugh. “40 is the new 30 anyway, but regardless, I feel more me.”

I grinned. “I know what you mean,” I said. “It’s like it’s easier to focus on the things that matter.”

Elio grinned. “I’ve always been good at that,” he said with a wink that made my heart flutter. I chuckled and shook my head. We turned left and I looked around. Everything was so familiar. I looked at Elio.

“Hey!” I said as he pulled into a parking lot. I looked all around to make sure I wasn’t imagining things.

“Yup!” Elio said. We parked and got out.

“Why are we at the conductor’s condo?” I asked.

“Because it is now our condo,” he said with a grin. 

“Are you serious?!” I asked.

“Yup!” He said.

“How? When?”

“He retired last year and he said he was looking to sell some properties and I was the first he called when he decided to sell the condo! Come on!” Elio said and walked around and pulled on my hand. We jogged up the stairs and stepped inside. The living room was empty except for the piano. “I paid him for that,” he said softly. I was going to reach for the lights but Elio stopped me. “No need,” he said softly. “The moon is bright enough.”

He pulled me to the large corner window. The memories flood me. “Feels like forever ago,” I whispered.

“Well, it was 17 years ago that I came to LA for those six weeks,” he said. I nodded. I wrapped my arms around him from behind.

“I can close my eyes and still remember that night,” I whispered in his ear. I kissed down his neck. He had his hair a little long again. He went back and forth, he looked amazing in so many hair styles. He still had an air of boyishness about him.

“Oh yeah?” He asked, I could head the grin on his face.

“Yeah,” I said. “You fucked me.”

“Mmmmm,” He said. “I sure did.”

He turned and kissed me. They were deep, hungry kisses. The kind that left me breathless. Took my hand again and guided me down the hallway. It amazed me how much I remembered of this place. But how could I not? We reunited here.

“So, the sale was just finalized, so we have to buy furniture,” he said, stopping outside the bedroom door. “So I did what I could.” I grinned not knowing what to expect.

He opened the bedroom door and turned on the light. There were a couple of soft lamps that filled the room with enough light but weren’t bright at all. We could fall asleep comfortably with these lights on. There was a small boombox, and what looked like an queen size air mattress. It had a fluffy white comforter and some pillows. 

“Be right back!” Elio said and took off down the hall, towards the kitchen. He showed back up with some champagne and a box which he opened to reveal some chocolate covered strawberries. I chuckled. “Happy birthday to me!” He said. I chuckled stared at him. He was so beautiful.

We walked into the room and sat on the floor. There was a nice plush rug by the mattress. He poured us some champagne and we fed each other the strawberries. He had put soft music on. I looked around the room and then my eyes landed on him. “Happy Birthday,” I said. He got up and pulled me up and went to the CD player. Kissing You by Des’ree started playing. He came and wrapped his arms around me, and we began to dance.

He slid his hands up my chest as I wrapped my arms round his waist. “I’ve never loved anyone else,” he said softly. “You are and have always been it,” he continued.

“I feel the same way, my love,” I replied.

We leaned in and kissed. The excitement in my stomach climbed to my chest and felt as if it could burst out of me. My heart was racing. We pulled back. “Elio,” I heard him whisper. My eyes were still closed. 

“Oliver,” I replied and kissed him again.

The world, as it did many times when Elio and I were alone like this, disappeared. I felt as if I couldn’t undress him soon enough. There was so much clothes between our bodies and I clawed away at it, desperately, needing to feel him under my hands. My skin ached for his.

Finally we were undressed. The vaguely became aware the song was still playing. He must have put it on repeat. We ended up on the plush rug and he took me in his mouth. I groaned. It felt incredible. I then got turned around and he bent me over the side of the air mattress. I laid my chest and left cheek on it. My heart was racing. 

I felt Elio’s soft hands caress my body. I got goosebumps all over. I moaned in pleasure. His hands had always been so soft and delicate and sexy. No other hands could elicit such a physical response from me. I loved how he moaned as he began to enter me. “So fucking good, baby,” he said and my heart swelled with the praise he gave me. In all our years together, my happiest moments had been when Elio had been his happiest.

I let out a sigh and groaned as he pushed in deep. He began to move in me. He was amazing. Elio’s hunger, just like him, had this beauty to it. It was never too much or too little. It was perfect and intoxicating. It was soft and rough, loving and sinful all in one. I felt his soft lips on my back, the suddenly he grabbed my hair and was fucking me roughly. I cried out at how good it felt. 

“Fuck, this is good,” he said and spanked me hard, his right hand coming down on my right ass cheek with a sting. “Mmmmmm,” he said as he slowed his pace a bit and seemed to just enjoy the sensation of sliding in and out of me. “God you’re such a good fuck.”

I felt my stomach clench at his words. I loved when he talked to me like this. I loved when I felt my body was providing him with endless pleasure. 

“I’m so lucky,” he said. “I have the man of my dreams and he’s smart and so fucking beautiful and the best fuck ever!” 

He was rough and hard again. This is what I loved, him in total control of me and my body. It was so fulfilling to let him be in charge of me as he fucked me. I knew he loved it too and I was more than willingly gave myself to him. I wanted nothing more. I knew when I needed this, he willingly gave himself to me too. We gave and shared equally.

He leaned down on me, I felt his chest on my back and he spread my knees wide as he fucked me relentlessly. The world became a blur and all I was aware of was Elio and his need and want for me. It was hot and passionate and even a little desperate. Somehow we always were. We were always, deep down, so desperate for each other, so needy and wanting and that had never changed.

We came together. I loved how he groaned and dug his fingertips in me. He collapsed on top of me and we laid there panting and blissfully spent. After a moment he pushed up and brought a towel and he cleaned up. We rolled on to the air mattress. 

“Is this air mattress really this comfortable and is my brain just mush after that fuck you gave me?” I asked as I pulled him into my arms. 

Elio laughed his cute laugh. “Neither,” he said. “It’s comfortable because we’re in it together.”

I grinned. “Perfect,” I said.

 

* * *

 

In the months that followed, Elio and I enjoyed fixing up the condo. We redid the kitchen and got new appliances. We redid the bathroom and the fireplace. We cleaned up the gorgeous hardwood floor and had new lighting put in. Buying the furniture for it was the best part. We put a Cal King in the bedroom and a queen in the guest bedroom. We got some really cool leather couches and a wonderful rug I fell in love with. It all took time but we enjoyed doing it together.

March of 2006 rolled around and college acceptance letters came in. Ben got several scholarships and he got into the three universities he applied for. 

“Texas here I come!” He cried out when he got them and the twins, Elio, his parents and I hugged him excitedly. I got him to call Michael and then he said he wanted to call Tyler, his best friend.

I looked at Elio and he just squeezed my hand and he gave me the strength to keep it together. Michael ended up coming to dinner and brought a cake that said congratulations.

Ben turned 18 two weeks later and we had a huge party. It was baseball themed and we all dressed up, as well as the guests. His cake was a round baseball and it was all great fun.

Spring break that year was fun. Michael came home for it and we did a lot of family things. I was a bit surprised at this but I welcomed my older sons being home. It came and went in waves, the happiness and sadness. Ben would be far away in another state and these impromptu dinners were everyone sat around together would only be possible when he flew home.

 

In May, Elio and I decided to surprise Michael for his 21st birthday. We decided to pay for him and two friends to go to Vegas. Needless to say he was over the moon.

“Best dads ever!” He said as he hugged Elio and I. We were so happy he was happy. 

When June rolled around and we were preparing for Ben’s high school graduation it truly sunk in he was leaving. 

It was mid June and I was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Elio came in from having taken a shower and found me.

“Hey baby,” he said gently. He knew me so well. “What’s wrong?”

I let out a shaky sigh and sat up. “Well nothing wrong per say,” I told him. “It’s just...” I couldn’t hold back the tears. 

Elio crawled on the bed and held me tight. “I still see his chubby baby face shoving Cheerios in this mouth,” I said as we pulled apart.

Elio gave me a tender smile. “Me too,” he said softly.

I chuckled and wiped away the tears. “I’m being a bit over the top,” I said. 

“No, I’ve cried too, just, in the shower alone because I know it’s hard on you.”

I looked at Elio in surprise. “What?” I said. “We’re not supposed to keep anything from each other.” 

“I wasn’t,” he said. “It was all me. I did my mourning. I knew yours was coming too.” 

I nodded. “It’s bitter sweet,” I said. “We raise them the best we can so they can go and make a life for themselves but it’s so sad watching them go,” I said. “It makes me sad to think Ben could make a life in another state. Meet a girl in Texas or get signed by a baseball team far away and then that’s it you know? My baby boy is gone!”

Elio kissed my cheek and nodded. “He’ll always know this is home,” he said softly. “And we’ll visit! You think we won’t be there for every opening game like we have been these past years?” Elio asked and I nodded and smiled.

I let out a sigh, a more steady one this time. “Fuck sakes Michael and Ben are 21 and 18,” I said shaking my head.

“Grown men,” Elio said.

“Grown men,” I replied.

“You’ve done well,” Elio said kissing my cheek. “They’re wonderful men. Both so much like their father in their own way,” he said softly.

I felt my heart fill with warmth. “Well I sure didn’t do it alone,” I said caressing his back. “We’re a team. Dads.”

Elio laughed sweetly. “Indeed we are,” he said, cuddling into me.


	102. Double Edged Sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _We last left our wonderful family in the summer of 2006 with Ben about to move away for school. We now skip six years in the future to 2012. Elio’s POV._

_June 23, 2012_

 

“Baby, I can’t find my tie,” Oliver told me. 

“Oh, it’s right here, baby,” I replied. “I put it in my garment bag,” I said and leaned in and kissed Oliver as I handed it to him. 

“Thank you,” he said with a wink. I gave him a half smile.

“I really like that haircut,” I said. Oliver had gone pretty short. It suited him. 

Oliver was going to turn 53 in a couple of months. We were, of course, going to spend a week at the condo. There had been more and more talk the last couple of years about Oliver and I selling our home. We had settled on waiting the next ten years, till we paid it off and then we could decide. The house, was truly, more room than we we needed now. 

After Ben had left for Texas, Sofia and Samuel had moved out of the house as well. The twins would be 21 in three weeks and Sofia was at Columbia with plans to be a lawyer, while Sam was studying animation at the School Of Visual Arts in New York. There had been lots of talk their junior high school year about school and they had both settled on those as their top choices. Valerie and Zach had married that year also. His ex-wife and he had run into many problems and she had taken his daughter out of state without his permission, which had been horrible. Sadly, the authorities had to get involved, but thankfully, his daughter was returned and he had sued for full custody and won. They had then taken a month off and gone to New York, taking the twins with them the summer before their senior year, and the twins and Zach and his daughter had met all of Valerie’s extended family. Oliver and I had flown in the last week they had been there and it had been great.

The twins’s high school senior year had been an eventful one also. Michael has started grad school, and Ben had been drafted and signed by the Boston Red Sox. Oliver, Karen and I had flown in for his very first game and it had been such an amazing moment. And then Valarie told us she and Zach were moving to New York. 

“I just... it felt like home,” she told us over dinner. Zach nodded. “We loved it and the kids will probably end up studying there and it’ll be good if they have a parent close by,” she said. 

She was right but it had been hard. So hard. I had cried several nights. 

“Least, maybe Sam will work for Disney and then move back, and I hope Sofia practices law here,” I whispered into Oliver’s chest as he stroked my hair lovingly. 

It had been so difficult the day they had left. Michael had driven us to the airport and Ben had flown to LA and Sofia had clung to Oliver the whole ride. When the moment came, the twins were crying enough and somehow Oliver and I had held it together. I think we had cried ourselves out the night before. 

“Call me the second you land!” I told them. Valerie and Zach were meeting them at the airport. 

“Yes, daddy,” Sofia had said and I had had the urge to grab them both and take them back home where I knew they would be safe forever. 

“Be careful, both of you,” I said. 

“And you call us. Anytime, any day, I don’t care,” Oliver has said, squeezing Samuel. 

“You call us and your mom and...” he had broken off and had pulled Sofia as well in and I had wrapped my arms around all three of them and then Michael and Ben had too. 

And then they were gone and a few days later Ben had flown home and suddenly the house felt too big. 

 

That Christmas, Oliver and I had flown to New York and had stayed until the first week of January. Ben drove in from Boston and Michael joined us with his girlfriend, a lovely young woman named Olivia. 

“I like her already, with a name like that she must be amazing!” Oliver said. 

I had wanted to take my parents, but they told me they would rather go to Italy, which I understood. So Christmas was spent with Valerie and her family and all of our kids. Then Michael and Olivia flew back to LA, to spend the last week of their break with Karen and Steve and Ben had driven back to Boston and Oliver and I had joined my parents at the Villa for two weeks. 

My father was truly beginning to slow down and it worried me but I was glad he was home with us. I also had made the conscious decision to tour less and compose more. I was writing music for other artists and had written some music for films, anything that would keep me close to home. I had made it a point to just talk more and more to my parents. Both Oliver and I did. I asked more about their childhood and about them becoming adults, meeting and falling in love. I became very aware that my time with them was limited and I wanted to know them both, so well that once they were gone I didn’t want to be left with questions I had wished I had asked. 

Life continued. The twins came home for summer and we caught several of Ben’s games. The following spring, Michael got engaged. I remember him calling Oliver and I go tell us he had bought a ring and was waiting for the right moment and then, about a month later, they had dropped by to let us know Olivia had said yes. Oliver and I had been overjoyed and my parents were over the moon.

Now, here we were in Napa, getting dressed for Michael’s wedding and Ben would be his best man. It was a wonderful moment in time. Oliver and I finished dressing and he leaned in to kiss me. He looked into my eyes. “Within several years, more than likely, we’re going to be grandparents,” he said with a smile. 

“Imagine that!” I said and kissed him again. We then walked out of our room. Oliver went to check on Michael and I went to get my parents. A couple of hours later we were all inside the chapel, as the ceremony began. I looked at Ben and Michael, and my heart could burst.  

“Oh! She looks so pretty!” Sofia gasped as Olivia began to walk down the aisle. She had said she was excited to finally have a sister, and Olivia was incredibly sweet and we all loved her. She was the perfect partner for our son. Indeed, Olivia was a vision. The wedding was absolutely perfect and then we all drove to the reception hall. Once we were seated and dinner was about to begin, Ben rose and began to make a toast. It was beautiful and heart felt. Oliver I were proud dads. 

 

* * *

 

The reception went long into the night and finally, Oliver and I were making our way back to our hotel room. 

“Your parents ok?” He asked me. 

“Sam brought them to their room a couple of hours ago,” I said. “He then rushed back to try to flirt with the whole bridal party!” 

Oliver chuckled. “I was surprised Ben didn’t bring Jessica,” Oliver said. “I wanted to ask him about it because when he RSVP’s he told Michael he had a plus one.”

“Yes I was surprised to not see Jessica,” I said. Ben had been dating one of the physical therapists for the team for about 10 months now. She was beautiful, blond and blue eyed like him. She was a couple of years older but Ben was very mature and they seemed happy. “Well, I’m sure they’ll work it out if they’re meant to be together,” I said as I started to undo my tie. 

“Just like we did,” Oliver said, sliding his hands around my waist. 

“Exactly,” I said, turning around and facing him. He undid my tie for me. 

“Remember when you used to come home from playing with the orchestra and I’d wait up in the living room and undress you before bed?” He asked. 

“I remember,” I answered. 

He leaned in and kissed me again. I unbuttoned his shirt and ran my hands over his chest. Oliver was still fit. He looked wonderful. We continued to undress and kiss. 

“It’s my turn,” he said in his sensual voice. I felt the goosebumps form all over my skin. 

“Says who?” I asked closing my eyes as he gently sucked my neck. We were down to our boxers. 

“Says me,” he answered and I sat on the bed and scooted back. Oliver slid off his boxers and turned off the lamp by the bed. He came towards me and kissed my stomach as he slid my boxers off. He took me in his mouth. His tongue swirled around me as he sucked. I groaned and pushed my hips up into him. 

He released me and I turned on my stomach, getting up on my hands and knees. I felt Oliver’s lips on my back, his hands all over my body. Then he entered me. I reached up and grabbed the head board. He wasn’t rough, but his moves were deliberate, I had to brace myself against the headboard. I reached my left hand back, clasping his hand which was on my hip. 

I groaned as his thrusts became harder and faster. He felt so hard as he slid in and out of me. He felt so good.  

“Is this good baby?” He asked me as he leaned over me. He was so strong and it turned me on so much.  

“Yes daddy,” I said with a moan. 

“Mmmmm,” he moaned and then gently bit my back. “Your whole body is so delicious,” he said. He licked my skin. It felt so damn good. 

“So is your cock,” I said pushing back as the thrust in, pushing him even deeper. He moaned. “It’s so fucking good,” I said between pants. 

Oliver slid his hand across my lower abdomen and grasped a hold of my erection. He stroked me a few times and then I came in his hand. He thrust roughly into me until he came as well. We collapsed on the bed. We were hot and blissfully spent.  

Oliver cleaned up after a moment and then scooped me up in his arms and we fell asleep very soon after that. 

 

* * *

The following morning we all checked out of the hotel and went to brunch at a restaurant near by. We were a large party and they had to put several tables together to accommodate us all. Sofia sat beside Oliver and I smiled as she threw her arms around him and he kissed her head and they talked.  

I glanced at Ben who was to my left. “So, I thought Jessica was going to come,” I said softly.  

“Yeah I thought so too,” he said. “I had even bought her a plane ticket. 

I nodded. “What happened?”

“Her ex,” Ben said. 

“He popped up?”

“Yeah, we were having lunch and we’re leaving the place and suddenly he’s there and they chatted a few minutes. Then we left and that night we had plans and she cancelled and the next day she told me she wasn’t sure about how she’s feeling about us.” He shook his head and looked upset, but was trying to reign his feelings in.

I nodded. “When was this?”

“She said all that two days before we were to fly out here. I haven’t talked to her since.”

“Have you tried?” I asked. 

“No,” he said. 

“No?” I asked surprised. “You don’t want to reach out?”

Ben looked at me surprised. “She said she wasn’t sure so I thought I’d give her time.”

“How much time?” I asked. 

“I don’t know, dad,” he said letting out a breath. I reached up and squeezed his shoulder. “What would you do?” He asked me.  

“You’re flying home tomorrow,” I started. Ben nodded. “I’d go to her place as soon as I land and ask for an answer.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, a weekend is enough for her to know who she wants to be with. And if she  can’t  make up her mind then it’s not a good sign either.” 

He closed his eyes. “I really liked her,” he said softly. 

“I know son,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

He looked at me and smiled. “Thanks,” he said. 

Talk around the table then turned to the twins’s 21st birthday. There would be a trip to Vegas, of course, but since Ben and Valerie were so far away now, it would be a week long trip, so we could all spend more time together. The twins were each going to bring a friend, as we had let Ben and Michael before them do. 

“Ben, you and I can go cruising for chicks!” Samuel said. 

“Puke!” Sofia rolled her eyes. 

“Excuse me! Are you Ben Perlman?” A voice came from the side of the table. Two young women were there. 

“Yes,” Ben said with a nod. 

“Could we get an autograph? We’re huge fans!” 

Oliver and I smiled at each other. Ben was gracious and signed whatever they had and then someone produced a camera and they took a picture with him. 

“I can’t believe it! I was born in Boston but moved here, so you play for my team!” One of the young women said. 

“That’s awesome!” Ben said and the young women laughed. 

He returned to the table and we all finished eating and then we got up to go. Ben was staying at home one night and flying off tomorrow. We packed into Oliver’s newest minivan and took off for home. 

 

* * *

 

Everyone was a bit tired and so we all went to bed early that night. 

“Did you talk to Ben?” I asked Oliver as we got read for bed. 

“Yeah,” he said. 

“What did you tell him to do?” I asked. 

“I told him to go talk to her as soon as possible.” I nodded. “He told me you told him the same thing,” he said giving me a half smile. 

“Great minds think alike!” I said. 

“Indeed,” Oliver replied and came to me and kissed me. He sighed. “Wow,” he said. “One kid married.”

“Yup,” I replied. “It’s wonderful isn’t it?” I asked grinning and Oliver grinned back. “And I keep thinking about what you said about being a grandfather!” I laughed. “I’m so excited!” 

“We’re only 52 and 45 now though,” Oliver said. “That’s too young to be grandfathers.”

I rolled my eyes. “Well we’re going be 53 and 46 at the earliest! And who cares! I’d rather still be able to play with them!”

Oliver grinned. “Yeah,” she said with a sigh. 

“Wow,” I said. “The thought of a baby is exciting isn’t it?” 

Oliver looked at me. “Yeah, in a way,” he said. 

I sighed. I wrapped my arms around him. “Maybe it’s cause the kids aren’t kids anymore,” I said. “The twins will be 21 in three weeks and the house feels so big and quiet...”

Oliver pulled back and caressed my cheek. “Do you want a baby?” He asked me softly with a smile. 

I felt myself blush a little. “Weren’t those nights amazing in their own crazy way?” I asked. “When the kids were small and we had to rock them to sleep. When they needed us? When they ran to us because of nightmares?”

“Yes they were,” Oliver said still caressing my face. “You didn’t answer my question.”

I blinked. “I... I can’t say  _no_ ,” I answered slowly. “But I can’t say yes either.” Oliver chuckled and kissed me. “Do you?” I asked. 

Oliver raised his eyebrows and took a deep breath in and out. “It’s a lot of work,” he said. “But I love you so much I would raise a hundred children with you,” he told me.  

I grinned. “That’s so romantic,” I said. 

“It’s so true,” he replied. 

_Knock knock knock_

Oliver and I looked at each other. “Come in!” I said. 

Ben walked in. “I called Jessica,” he said. 

We walked towards him. “And?” I asked. 

“And she told me although she cares a lot about me, she loves her ex,” he let out a shaky breath. “She said he was the love of her life.” Ben shook his head. 

“Oh son, I’m sorry,” I said. 

Ben pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes and shook his head. “Fuck! I...” he let out another breath. “I... I think I was in love with her!” He said.  

Oliver went and hugged him and Ben began to cry. I rubbed his back. “I’ll go get us some water,” I said and decided to give them some time alone. I walked out in the hallway and I heard a click of a door. I saw Sofia step out of her room. I waited for her at the top of the stairs.  

“Benny in there with daddy?” She asked. I nodded. We walked downstairs together and walked into the kitchen. “I heard the conversation,” she said softly. 

“Yeah?” I asked. 

“I didn’t mean to,” she said. “But I could hear he was upset and I was sitting up and reading. He told Jessica he loved her and to please stay with him,” Sofia looked sad. “Poor Ben,” she said. 

“Yeah,” I nodded. 

“Love is a double edged sword,” Sofia said. “Look at how happy Michael is and now the heartbreak Benny is going through.” She looked at me. “Have you ever had your heart broken daddy?”

“Only when your dad left Italy the summer we met,” I said. 

She nodded. “That wasn’t all his fault though.”

“No,” I said caressing her hair. “It was a difficult time, but, we found our way back to each other.”

Sofia nodded. “Because you and daddy are meant to be!” She said with a gorgeous smile. I nodded, grinning and kissed her head.

We heard voices and we turned and I saw Ben and Oliver walking into the kitchen. 

“I need ice cream,” Ben said. 

“Ooh! You’re in luck big brother!” Sofia said. “Grandma and I went grocery shopping and I got you some chunky monkey!”

Ben laughed. “And that’s why you’re my favorite sister!” Ben said. 

“Ha ha!” Sofia said rolling her eyes but she got him the ice cream and a spoon. “I’m eating the cherry garcia,” Sofia announced. 

“Hmm,” I went and looked. “I’m demolishing the phish food!” I said. Ben laughed. Sofia was sitting beside him at the kitchen counter. I looked at Oliver. “Mint chocolate cookie for you, my love?” 

“Yes please!” He said. 

We were eating and chatting and Ben was looking a little happier. 

“Well! Well! Well!” 

We all turned and saw Sam at the kitchen entrance. “Perlman ice cream party and nobody had the decency to wake me up!” He said. I chuckled. “If it wasn’t for the two bottles of water I drank before bed, I would still be in a peaceful slumber and be missing all this!”

“Grab some ice cream and shut up or go back upstairs!” Sofia said rolling her eyes.  

“So rude!” Sam said walking to the fridge. “Oh Ben! Can I have the other chunky monkey?” He asked. 

“Sorry dude,” Ben said, getting up and throwing his empty pint container away. He went and took the other pint. “Just got dumped, I’m gonna need both.” 

“What? Jessica dumped you?” Sam asked. Ben nodded. We were all quiet. Sofia rubbed Ben’s arm as he sat down beside her. 

“I’m sorry man,” Sam said. He had a pint of half baked in his hand. He went and sat at Ben’s other side. “If she can’t see how awesome you are, then joke’s on her. You’re awesome bro.”

“Thanks Sam,” Ben said ruffling his hair. 

“That means Vegas! Here we come! Two hot single bros, man we should rent a Porsche or something!” Sam said laughing. “We are going to be total chick magnets!”

“Ugh!” Sofia said rolling her eyes. 

“Hey, Sofie, are you bringing Kelly with you? She’s pretty hot and I’m sure when she met me, she liked me,” Sam said. 

“Kelly has a boyfriend!” Sofia said. 

“Don’t mean nothing til someone puts a ring on it!” Sam told her and Ben burst out laughing. 

“You’re such a child!” Sofia said rolling her eyes. 

Oliver came to gather my empty pint and slid it into his. “I think we still have babies in their own way,” he whispered in my ear. I nodded and turned my face towards him. 

We kissed. “Mmm minty,” I said. Oliver smiled and kissed me again. We grinned at each other. I glanced back and looked at our kids. “They always will be our babies,” I whispered to him and he nodded in agreement. 


	103. June 26, 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all was leading up to this... enjoy... and maybe get some tissue!

_Elio_

 

I was at studio, recording a song I had written for a movie soundtrack. I was taking the chance to record some other songs, as when I was in the studio, I took advantage of it and spent hours there. I had finished recording two songs when a knock came to the window and the producer motioned for me to come out. 

I furrowed my brow and got up off the piano bench and stepped outside. 

“Elio, your phone has been blowing up for almost 30 minutes.”

I went to my phone, which was on top of a leather portfolio with music inside, confused. There were 12 missed calls from Sam and Sofia. My heart dropped. I called Sofia. 

“Daddy!” She answered in the second ring. “Oh daddy!” She said and broke down and started crying. 

“What? What? Baby what is it?!” I asked worried. A million horrible scenarios ran through my head, my heart racing.  

“Daddy I’m so happy!” She said. 

I stopped. “You are?” My heart slowed slightly. “Tears of happiness then?”

“Yes! Dad! Have you not seen the news?!”

I shook my head. “No, you know I’m at the recording studio,” I said, feeling just as confused and not sure what was going on. 

“Sam and I are like 10 minutes away. Can you come meet us? At the door. Don’t... don’t look at the news, don’t look at your phone. Just, come to the door and meet us!”

“Ok?” I said with a chuckle. I hung up and turned to the producer. “My kids are coming. They want me to meet them outside.” 

“It’s good! Actually, Elio I know you and I normally spend the day together but tomorrow is my wife’s birthday,” he said. 

“Say no more!” I replied. “Let’s continue next week?”

“Sounds good,” he said. 

“I’ll email you all the music files in a couple of days,” he told me, patting me on the back. 

“Great,” I told him. I gathered my things and we stepped outside. 

 

* * *

 

I was outside waiting for the twins. As promised, I hadn’t looked at my phone. It was soon after, Sofia’s SUV pulled up. I waved at them.  

Sam was done school, had moved back to California and was working at a studio in LA doing animation. Sofia was about to start her second year of law school. The twins would be 24 in three weeks. Sofia was home for the summer. Sam had his own apartment with his girlfriend, a sweet girl named Alana who also did animation. They had met at work. She was perfect and shared Sam’s sense of humor and they were constantly laughing. They were like a couple of big kids. It was them and their two cats and they were happy. 

“Daddy!” Sofia said and ran over to me, throwing her arms around my neck. I squeezed her and looked at Sam and was surprised to see him wipe some tears away too.  

“Ok... what is going on?” I asked looking between them. 

“It’s legal,” Sofia whispered squeezing my hands. “Gay marriage.”

I stood frozen a moment. “What?” I asked. 

“The Supreme Court has struck down all state bans on same-sex marriage,” Sofia said grinning and wiping her face. “It’s legal now. You and Daddy can get married!” She threw herself on me again.

 

* * *

_Oliver_

 

“Ok, Annella,” I said as I wiped my hands on my apron. “Everything has been perfectly chopped because, as you know,” I said with a grin. “I only chop things perfectly.”

Annella chuckled. She leaned in and hugged me. Annella was as beautiful as always. Her brown hair was now a soft gray and she was a bit more frail. The professor was at the breakfast nook, reading his kindle and sipping some tea. 

There was knocking at the front door and my phone began to ring simultaneously. I took it out of my pocket. It was Ben FaceTiming me. I answered. 

“Hey!” I said. 

“Hey! Go get the door, it’s Michael!” He said. 

I stopped to pause a moment and chuckled. “Ok...” I said and got to the door and answered it and indeed Michael was there. “Hi!” I said as I went to hug him. 

He came and stood beside me and waved at Ben. “You Tell him, Benny,” Michael said. 

“Tell me what?” I asked. 

“Dad! Have you been keeping up with the news? Did you know what was happening in the Supreme Court today?” Ben asked. 

I knew. Elio and I had talked about it a couple of days ago but had decided to not dwell on it... to not get our hopes up... to not wish too hard and set our hearts on the line. “Did it...?” I found I couldn’t finish the sentence. 

“Yes!” Ben said and I felt Michael hug me. 

“What is it?” Annella asked.  

Michael walked over and hugged her and my dad. “Same-sex marriage is legal now,” Michael said. Annella gasped and looked at me. “You and dad can get married,” Michael said with a wonderful smile. 

 

* * *

 

_Elio_

 

I was hugging both Sam and Sofia. Of course, I had known, but I didn’t want to hope and be disappointed. I had wanted today to be like any other day and I wanted life to not hang by this moment. All the emotion I had bottled up came forth and I felt as if my head was spinning.

“I should buy him a ring,” I said. Sofia squealed and Sam nodded. I looked at both of them and put my hand on my chest.  

“Daddy are you nervous?!” She asked laughing.  

“Yes!” I said. I was. I couldn’t believe it.  

“Why?! Like Daddy will say no!” Sofia said with a gorgeous laugh.  

“Sofia, you don’t get it since you don’t have to worry about doing the asking!” Sam said.  

Sofia scoffed. “It’s 2015! I so could if I wanted to!”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Nerves are good!” Sam said. I smiled his way. “We can go buy a ring now, you can stash it in the condo, you guys can go for the weekend and you pop the question!”

Sofia looked at Sam pleased. “That actually sounds super romantic!” Sofia said. 

“It does,” I replied. I let out a shaky breath. My heart was still hammering in my chest. “But first I need a ring,” I told them. 

“Well, let’s go get one!” Sofia said excitedly. 

 

* * *

_Oliver_

 

I had continued to cook but my hands were trembling. I closed my eyes. My heart was pounding on my chest.

I suddenly recalled that day at the condo all those years ago... I had been chopping vegetables, cooking for Elio when Stacey had dropped by and it had been obvious they had slept together and my hands trembled and I couldn’t chop anymore. That seemed a lifetime ago. From that... to this. To a home, four grown children and what felt like a lifetime together and now... 

I felt Annella’s soft hand on mine. “It’s a wonderful moment,” she said. I looked at her and smiled. I didn’t want to cry. But the more it sunk in.... Annella leaned in and hugged me and I hugged her back. Ben was FaceTiming with Michael and the Professor. 

“I’m so happy,” I said. I squeezed her hand. I looked down at her. I guided her over to where the Professor was and sat down. He and Michael looked up at me. I took a deep breath in. “For thirty two years you two been my rock,” I told them. “I called you when Michael was born, when Ben was born.” I said looking at the Professor who had been the best father figure I could have wished for and shook my head. Somehow, the depth of everything seemed to be sinking at once. “I called you before even calling...”  

“I know,” the Professor said in his soft voice. 

“You’ve... always treated me like a son,” I told them. Annella gave me another soft smile. “And so...” I took a deep breath in. “I wish to ask you both for your blessing in asking your son to marry me.” 

Michael and Annella and the Professor cheered and I could hear Ben cheering in the background. 

“Of course, you have it,” the Professor said. He got up and came around and hugged me. “I am so happy to be here to see this wonderful day!” He said. 

 

* * *

 

My heart had calmed down considerably after that. Annella and I continued cookingand finally, my heart slowed and relaxed. And then my mind took off with me. 

All these years... finally. Finally. I could marry him. I remembered my wedding day with Karen. It wasn’t her fault, of course, but I remember knowing it was a mistake but swallowing it and telling myself I had to do it. It was what was expected. My parents were happy, of course. I was so miserable. So miserable.... 

And now... 

The front door opened and I heard voices coming down the entrance hallway and then tuning into the kitchen. I saw Sofia and Sam walk in and then Elio...  

My heart. It stopped. Elio. 

Elio.  

“Elio.” I said, it was barely audible. 

“Oliver.” was his reply. 

I could see it in his eyes, he was feeling slightly overwhelmed but happy, like I was. I walked around the kitchen counter and just wrapped him in my arms.  

“Elio.” I said again. 

“Oliver.” He replied close to my left ear. 

I never wanted to let go. I didn’t have to. So I didn’t. “I love you,” I whispered.  

“I love you,” he answered softly. “So much.” 

I closed my eyes. There was no limit now. Nothing holding us back. We could have it all. We pulled back. He looked so beautiful. I slid my left thumb across his bottom lip. 

“What do you say we spend the weekend at the condo?” He asked me softly. I could hear the slight trembling in his voice. 

“I would love that,” I whispered to him and pulled him in for a kiss. 


	104. Will You ...?

The morning of the 27th began like any other... almost. 

I opened my eyes and memories of yesterday came flooding. After I had bought the ring, Sofia, Sam and I went to the condo where I hid it. Then we came home...

I looked over at Oliver now. He was still sleeping. He looked so peaceful when he slept. Tranquil and angelic. My heart felt so full. I merely gazed at him and smiled. I turned to my side so I could face him and see him better. The sun was shining in and the room was slowly lightening. It was maybe about half and hour before he blinked his eyes open and looked back at me.

His initial reaction was to pull me close into one of his bear hugs, which he always did. He always smothered me against him in the mornings and there was nothing I could do or truly wanted to do to fight this. I loved this. Early mornings were always so wonderful with Oliver. It was like every day we woke up together, he blinked his eyes open and it was like realization hit him that we were indeed together and he needed to make sure it wasn’t a dream and it was a reality and he would pull me to him and squeeze me for a wonderful moment. It had been like this since the first morning we had woken up together, as a couple after he had moved in with me and it was this was today. 

I chuckled against him. “Good morning,” I said kissing his neck. He smelled so good. I loved his smell. 

“Good morning baby,” he said softly. Oliver’s morning voice was wonderful. A little rough around the edges but it reached deep inside me always and stirred a feeling or excitement and love and everything good in the universe. We looked at one another. I couldn’t help but smile wider. “What?” He asked. 

“Nothing,” I said, almost laughing. 

“Doesn’t look like nothing,” he said, not able to hold back his joy either but he didn’t want to talk about it, just like I didn’t want to talk about it. I wanted to wait, until later... 

I leaned in and kissed him. His lips were warm and perfect. We kissed tenderly for a while, my hands roaming the expanse of his chest and sliding up to his shoulders. He pulled me on top and I kissed him harder. I leaned down onto his lips. We opened our mouths and slid our tongue between our lips, seeking for each other. I moaned and pushed my hips down on him. I was getting hard. He was too. 

I quickly slid my boxers off as he slid his down and I grabbed the lube, stroking him with it. I could hardly wait. I slid down on him. He groaned softly. I placed my hands on his chest and began to fuck him. He opened his eyes and placed his hands on my hips.

“Fuck me,” I told him. I wanted to feel him. He held my hips as he pushed his hips up. He did this a while and then flipped us over. 

“Turn around,” he said roughly and I did. My chest and and left cheek on the mattress, I felt Oliver reach for my left hand and press it down on the bed. He used his right hand to push his erection down and slide quickly into me. He began to fuck me. I could feel his warm body all over me. I could feel his chest against my back, his legs rubbing against mine as we fucked. 

“Fuck yes!” I groaned breathlessly. I was so turned on and my throbbing cock was feeling so heavy. He wrapped his right arm around and stroked me a couple of times before I came. I grabbed fistfuls of sheet as Oliver rammed into me and came soon after. He held me tight as he came. I could feel his whole body trembling with pleasure. We collapsed on the bed and laid there panting a moment. 

Finally we cleaned up and pulled each other close. We gazed at each other for a moment. “I’m so happy,” Oliver said after a moment.

“As am I baby,” I answered him softly. 

 

* * *

 

It was about 4 pm when Oliver and I took off for the condo. Sofia had done me the favor of putting roses all over the place and getting Oliver’s favorite champagne. I was excited. I couldn’t wait.

She and my parents waved at us as we took off in my latest convertible. 

“You always got the flashy cars and I always got the mini vans,” Oliver said as we pulled onto the street. 

“We balance each other out perfectly,” I said reaching for his hand and holding it. 

The drive to the condo was a pleasant one. We had had several romantic weekends there and I was so glad I had bought it. I glanced over at Oliver. He was so perfect. Golden hair shining, he had sunglasses on. He would be 57 this August and it hardly showed. He finally had some gray coming in but it was barely visible. 

I saw the glistening of the ocean in the distance as I drove down Wilshire and got closer to Ocean Avenue.

“I remember the first time I drove down here and to the condo,” I said. Oliver looked my way and smiled. “It was 27 years ago,” I continued. “I had told myself that I would go to UCLA and look for you and be as composed as I could be. I was prepared to hear that you were happily married and madly in love with your wife.”

“Were you?” Oliver asked as we stopped at a red light. 

I gazed at him. “No,” I said truthfully. “But I knew it could be a possible scenario and I was ready for it, or told myself I was.”

“And what actually happened? Were you prepared for that?”

I grinned at the memory. “You mean bringing you here and trying to seduce you by playing the piano for you?” I asked. 

He chuckled and nodded. 

“I don’t know. I had no plan. I just went by feeling,” I confessed. “That’s all I could ever and can ever do when it comes to you. Let my heart lead.”

I felt him pull my hand to his mouth and kiss my knuckles. “And I love you so much for it.”

I pulled his hand and kissed it and then we turned onto Ocean Avenue and soon after turned into the condo. I felt the butterflies in my stomach. I smiled as I remembered Sam telling me nerves were good. We parked and I put the top up. Oliver waited for me and I took hold of his hand as we climbed the stairs. I opened the door and we stepped inside.

The smell of roses was in the air. I looked around and saw Sofia had done a beautiful job. “Wow!” Oliver said and I could tell he surprised. There were red and white rose bouquets everywhere. The kitchen counter, on top of the fireplace mantle. On the coffee table and dining room table and the piano. We were right in front of the piano when he turned to face me. I loved the look of surprise and happiness on his face. “When did you do this? You were home with me all day!”

I grinned. “Sofia,” I said. 

Oliver laughed and he pulled me close and kissed my forehead. And then he dropped down to one knee.

“Oliver, wait! I -“

“No,” he said shaking his head. He was gripping my hands so tightly and I was surprised at the look on his face. He blinked a few times as a few tears fell from his eyes. 

“Baby,” I said softly. “Don’t cry.” He leaned his forehead against my abdomen. I could hear him taking a few deep breaths. “Oliver,” I said softly. “Baby, I wanted to -“

“No,” he said again and he looked up at me. “No, Elio. I have to. It has to be me. I did it once before, although, nothing like this,” he said looking around. “Nothing this romantic or beautiful. But,” he looked up into my eyes. “But I want to do it now for the right reasons. With the right person, please,” he said softly. “Please.”

My heart ached with sorrow at what he was confessing and yes I was elated at the same time. “Ok,” I said softly. How could I deny him this?”

“Elio Perlman,” Oliver said softly as he looked up at me. “I felt something the first time I saw your face. I remember our first handshake. Our first kiss. The first time I made love to you. Our goodbye.” His voice broke and I felt my chin tremble as tears threatened to spill from my eyes. “How I had wished to have had the strength back then to have stayed. I thought I had lost you forever.”

“No,” I said softly, shaking my head. “You could never loose me.”

Olivier smiled at me. “And then, as if by some random luck of the universe you came back to me and even then, I fucked up, I let you go yet again but -“

“But?” I asked softly. 

“But then everything fell into place and everything was right and it was finally our time. And for the last 24 years you have been the absolute best partner, best lover and best friend I could have ever asked for.”

I couldn’t hold my tears back then. “You have been too,” I told him. 

“And now,” he said. “We have a chance to be even more. Please, Elio,” Oliver said to me. I stared into his gorgeous blue eyes. “Please, make me happier than I deserve to be and marry me. Be my husband. Please.” I felt as if I couldn’t  breathe. “Elio, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” I answered. 

There had been moments in my life when I had felt the earth stand still. The first I truly remember was the first time I kissed Oliver. I remember seeing him after all those years in his office at UCLA and I remembered feeling it then. And also when Valerie told me she was pregnant. And it felt this way now, as Oliver stood up. 

“You’ll marry me?” He asked again as if he couldn’t believe if as he took my face in his hands. 

“Yes!” I said and it dawned on me that he too had been as nervous as I had felt. “Yes, Oliver. I will marry you. I want nothing more than to be your husband,” I told him. 

“I want to be your husband,” he replied. 

I pulled him in and we kissed. At that moment nothing else mattered but us. I threw my arms around his neck and stood on my toes as I kissed him as hard as I could. I never wanted to let go. 

We pulled back, foreheads pressed together and panting. “I don’t ever want to let you go,” I told him. 

“You never have to. You never will. I’m going to marry you and I will make you the happiest man alive,” Oliver said, his words rushed. 

I looked up at him. “I already am.”

“You’re about to be even happier!” He said and we laughed. 

I buried my face in his chest as I began to really cry. He held my tight. “I never thought we would be able to,” I told him, finally letting everything out. “I dreamt of this and there was a part of me that never thought I’d see the day.”

“Me too, baby,” he said missing my hair. “But here we are. Here we are and we have the chance to make all our dreams come true.”

“Yeah,” I said laughing as we wiped the tears off my face. I reached up and wiped his tears away too. 

“So,” he said with a gorgeous smile. “When should we get married?”

“September 23rd,” I told him softly. 

“The last day of summer?” He asked softly.

“The last day of summer,” I replied as I began to smile as all the happiness began to truly sink in. “It always has been our season and if we marry on the last the of summer then our summer never has to end.”

Oliver grinned at me. “Amen to that,” he said and leaned down to kiss me more.


End file.
